Mergers and Acquisitions
by Touchstone67
Summary: When Edward pays for a night of harmless fun, he didn't expect to get the purchase of a lifetime. Will his nights in Seattle change his whole life in Chicago? Full length story for the second place winner in the Slash/Backslash Contest. Rated M, J/E
1. Yellow Brick Road

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-First, thank YOU to everyone that read, reviewed and voted for M&A in the Slash/Back Slash contest. Needless to say, I am shocked and amazed and honored that our little story came in second place among such prestigious company. Congratulations to everyone in the contest.

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

More A/N at the end.

Follow the Yellow Brick Road…

"**~~**"

_**Jpov**_

I shifted uncomfortably.

The expensive shirt felt unfamiliar against my skin.

I was used to dirty threadbare tee shirts, not fucking Italian cotton button downs with labels of designers I couldn't even pronounce sewn into their collars.

I mean who the fuck was Armani anyway, and why were her clothes so fucking expensive?

Facing the mirror, I watched my hands do up the pearl buttons, pleased with the way the blue stripes matched my eyes.

Maybe Armani wasn't such a bitch after all.

Next, I reached for the jacket, sliding my arms through the pure silk-lined sleeves, actually almost aroused at sensation of the smooth material.

I ran my hands over the jacket, absently thinking perhaps it was too hot for wool. While the temperature outside was most certainly cool enough, as Seattle never had the dry heat I was accustomed to, my nerves had my body running a bit hotter than usual and I was certain the wool would make me sweat in no time.

Twisting my body, I admired the tailored cut of the suit, the navy wool hung perfectly on my shoulders only to hug my waist, and the pants showed off my ass with expensive flair as they curved over my round flesh.

Besides my cock, my ass was my money maker.

Checking the clock, I mumbled a few obscenities and headed for the door. After taking the elevator, I entered the lobby and walked toward the door.

"Have a good evening, Mr. Whitlock," the doorman greeted as he held the heavy gold trimmed door open for me.

"Thanks…." I mumbled. I would have call him by his name if I had fucking remembered it.

Part of me hoped the long black Lincoln wouldn't be there, but as I glanced down the street, I spotted it parked at the corner.

Leaning against it was an older man dressed in a black suit complete with tie and fucking black hat. He was tall and thin and had the fucking palest skin I had ever seen, I swear it was translucent. Gray tufts of hair poked out from under his hat as he folded his newspaper and waved me over.

Who the hell read newspapers since the invention of the internet anyway?

Opening the back door of the car, he nodded to me as I slid into the backseat. Surrounded by soft black leather, the car smelled…wealthy. Unable to sit still, my body practically jumping with nerves, I quickly glanced around. It was a habit of mine to take in my surroundings, to see what could be useful if things went south…which had happened more than I cared to remember.

It was amazing what could be used as a weapon when you were creative enough.

I didn't know Mr. Magoo, or where the fuck he was taking me, but I relied on my gut, the one so queasy with nerves I had dry heaved three times since showering.

"You have one client tonight, Mr. Whitlock. A Mr. Peter Carlson." Pausing, I think he waited for my reply, but I had none. Instead, I swallowed the bile that had risen in my mouth, the acidic taste coating my throat. When I didn't respond, he glanced at me on the rearview mirror. "I will be waiting for you outside the building. If you need me for any reason, call. You do have the Blackberry she gave you, right?"

Finally responding to him, I nodded.

The rest of the ride was spent in a welcomed silence. The lights and sounds of the city danced past the car as he weaved in and out of traffic. Leaning my head against the cool glass of the window, I let my mind drift to what had led me there, in the back of a Lincoln dressed in a suit that cost more than a month of working on the streets.

_Exactly two weeks ago that day I had been leaning against a cold brick wall, my thin tee shirt and dirty jeans doing little to ward off the cold breeze as it chilled my already frozen body when she approached me. She was attractive enough, I guess, her suit hugged her womanly curves, long legs supported her tall frame and brilliant red waves fell below her shoulders. With a warm smile, she held out her hand and introduced herself as Tayna. _

_That was different. Most of my johns never gave me a name, at least, not their real one. While I was gay, I was also a hooker, and I needed money, and sometimes that meant fucking women. _

_It was rare and not all together horrible._

_If I closed my eyes and used my imagination, I could even manage to get off, grunting into their naked breasts as I shot my load inside them._

_However, even I had standards. _

_Just as I was about to give her the price, I charged more for women, she asked if she could treat me to a cup of coffee. Shocked, I stood there speechless and she chuckled. _

"_I don't want to fuck you, I want to hire you."_

"_Isn't the same thing?" I pushed off the building, looking to my right to check for a cop car. This woman was so obviously Vice. "Listen, thanks for the offer, but really, I'm just waiting for a friend."_

"_Sure you are," she smirked. "Look, I don't want to be your friend, but I think we might be able to help each other out. Just one cup, if you don't like my offer, you are free to go," she insisted, and who was I to refuse a free hot cup of Joe. Perhaps she would even splurge and get me a muffin too. I bet with those manicured nails and diamond rings she could afford it. After three days of nothing but dry toast, I was pretty fucking hungry. _

_I admit I was curious to hear what kind of offer she had. And we all know what curiosity did to the cat. I just hoped it didn't wind up with me being Big Stan's bitch when we shared a cell._

_Three hours later, we were walking into an empty apartment on the twentieth floor of a downtown high rise in a part of town I had rarely seen even though most of my johns probably came from the suburbs and areas like this. Driving their Toyotas and minivans down my street, the closeted husbands sought me out, their eyes roaming my open-aired office for just the right boy to fuck in hopes of allowing them to get it up for their wives later. _

"_So, what do you think?" she smiled, turning to me. Looking out the window over the Seattle skyline, I saw the sun setting, the last rays of the day peeking out behind the clouds. _

"_It's great…."_

"_But?" she encouraged, knowing I was not finished._

"_Seems a bit too good to be true," I finally said, still not looking at her, and shoving my hands deep into my pockets._

"_Well, Jasper, I believe in treating my employees very well. They are my bread and butter so to speak, and should be treated respectfully."_

_The hardwood floors and beautiful view were more than 'respectfully'. _

"_That being said," she walked over to stand next to me, her hand on my arm forcing me to look at her. "If you do work for me, you will do as I say and go where I tell you to go. In return, I will treat you well, but there are conditions you must meet and follow." _

_Nodding, I remembered the so-called conditions she had told me at the coffee shop. My position required me to be at her beck and call six days, or rather nights, a week to entertain clients. This entertaining could be anything from dinner to spending the entire night with them. In turn, she would provide me with a cell phone, apartment, gym membership, a percentage of my intake and a car and driver._

"_Oh, you will also have a credit card," she informed me, pulling out an American Express Gold Card. In awe, I stared at the card. I had only seen them on the sides of the buses that drove by me as I sat in car while some john had his lips around my cock. "For all work related expenses, such as condoms, clothing, dinners, lube…toys."_

_After almost spitting my coffee out, I quirked an eyebrow at her, "Excuse me?"_

"_Toys. Vibrators, dildos, bondage….toys."_

_I wasn't in fucking Kansas anymore. _

"_Are you still interested?" she asked, placing the card back in her wallet._

_Fuck yes._

"_Yeah." _

"_Good. Our next step is to get you tested and into some proper clothes." _

_She pulled out a business card and slid it across the table to me. "Call this office tomorrow and make an appointment. They will fit you as soon as you call."_

_Standing up, she swung her bag over her shoulder. "Now, let me show you the apartment." _

_Getting up, I followed her out of the coffee shop and into my new life. _

"We're here, Sir," Mr. Magoo informed me as we pulled up in front the Renaissance Hotel. Shifting into park, he got out and made his way to my door. Stepping out of the car into the damn night air, I did the button of my jacket up and looked up at the hotel. "Mr. Carlson is staying suite number three on the top floor. He's expecting you. Don't be nervous, Mr. Whitlock, you will be fine. Mr. Carlson is a regular, he will treat you well."

"Thanks…."

"You can call me Aro, Sir." He smiled.

"Thanks, Aro." I gave him a weak smile and headed into the hotel.

The lobby was breathtaking, different shades of greens and browns covered the furniture and walls. Ignoring on the looks from the desk clerks, I was used to people staring at me all the time, it wasn't anything new. I went directly to the elevator, my new leather shoes clicking on the marble floor.

I glanced at myself in the reflective doors, brushing back my hair, I grinned to make sure nothing was stuck in my teeth and then popped a breath mint into my mouth. The gold doors slide open and I stepped out on the top floor following the arrows to suite number three.

Standing there, I briefly considered turning away, calling Tayna and saying thanks, but no thanks. But I realized, what faced me on the other side of that door couldn't be any worse than what I had dealt with on the streets.

I was in a rich classy hotel, how bad could the john be?

Of course, he could be wolf in sheep's clothing.

Swallowing hard, I knocked and waited for him to answer. I could hear muffled noises coming from the other side. When the door swung open, I was looking down at the floor studying the intricate pattern on the carpet while my heart raced in my chest.

"Jasper?" asked a deep voice. Slowly rising my head, I nodded. Tall, less than an inch shorter than me, he had ink black hair and deep, the most fucking unique blue-green eyes that were smiling even though his lips were not. Tanned skin covered what I suspected was a firm body, wide shoulders led to trim waist and slim hips.

Dressed in a plain dress shirt opened at the collar and black dress pants, he eluded wealth and confidence and fucking sex.

"Please, come in," he said, standing to the side and gesturing me past him. Looking around the room, I saw a crystal vase on a table, as well as a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket. Both could cause damage with a blow to the head.

Old habits die hard.

While I shuffled back and forth, suspiciously eyeing every little detail in the tasteful room, he stood behind me. Even though I could feel his gaze on me, I delayed turning around to face him. The room was huge with two large leather chairs sat in a corner with a large desk behind them. Against the tan wall to my right was a king-sized bed covered in a brown and light blue comforter and more pillows than any one person could use. There was one light, giving off a low warm glow from the corner behind the chairs. To my left was a long dresser with a large screen television hanging on the wall above it.

It was hands down the nicest place I had ever been invited in to.

"I'm Peter," he introduced himself from behind me. "How are you this evening?" he asked, his voice only solidifying the confident vibe I got from his clothing. Clearing my throat, I finally turned around to face my fate.

Fuck me, he was a sexy fate.

"Okay, I guess." I replied shrugging, flustered, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I had sounded like an idiot.

"Just okay? Well, let's see what we can do about that, shall we?" Sparkles lit up his eyes like little fireworks as he smiled and walked over the wine. "Would you like a glass?" he offered.

"I'm not old enough." I blushed, and searched the room for a distraction, wanting to look anywhere but at him. The television was off, but I could hear some classical music playing quietly even though I couldn't see a stereo anywhere. When he moved, his scent wafted around me, his very presence making my cock twitch.

"Jasper, I don't think one drink in a hotel room will hurt you," he said, pouring two glasses. "And I promise not to tell anyone." He winked, handing me one of the glasses of red wine before walking to the chair behind me.

With no pretense, I put the goblet to my lips and down the wine in one long swig. Enjoying the warmth of the alcohol in my throat, I waited for it to work its magic and calm my nerves. Exhaling heavily, I put the glass down next to the ice bucket, straightened my shoulders and turned around.

Leaning back, his long legs stretched before him, he was sitting in the leather chair in the corner of the room. At some point, he had unbuttoned a few more of buttons on his shirt, the open collar exposing delicious looking dark skin.

"Feel better?" he asked, and I swear I caught a bit of a familiar drawl in his words.

"Yeah."

"Then how about we move along," he suggested, spinning the red liquid around the glass as he twirled the stem between his fingers. I couldn't blame the guy for wanting to get things going. Unlike the streets where I was paid by the act, this was an hourly gig, and I had no idea how many hours he had paid for.

Still not knowing what to do, I stood in front of him biting my lip. Normally, I was on my knees in front of someone as they leaned against a building in a dark alley, or if I was really lucky, I got fucked inside a warm car.

But there in a fancy hotel room, I was clueless.

"Strip."

It wasn't a request, it was a demand.

One I would gladly follow.

Nervously, I toed off my leather shoes, keeping my eyes on his as my hands went to the buttons of my jacket. Sliding it off, I tossed it over the arm of the second leather chair before unknotting my tie. Letting it hang undone around my neck, I started on the buttons of my shirt, slowly pushing each opalescent circle through the sewn holes. Hungrily, his gaze eagerly roamed up and down my body, always returning to my hands, watching them intently as each button was undone to expose more and more of my tanned, chiseled chest and stomach.

By the time I was letting the shirt fall down my arms and to the floor, his chest was heaving. Thrilled I was affecting him as much as he was me, I shook my head, letting my hair fall loose around my face and then looked down at my hands on my belt, slowly undoing the buckle and sliding the leather through the loops.

Smirking, I pulled it through and drop it to the floor with a satisfying sound. I never took my eyes off his as I unbuttoned my pants. More slowly than I ever had, I unzipped them, the sound of the metal teeth diminished by his low moan. Even in the dimly lit room, I could see his free hand had moved, settling on his crotch. Palming himself through his pants, he maintained a complete air of control, with the exception of his hooded eyes and quickening breaths. My own cock was already seeping when I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of my pants and slid them down over my hips, let them fall to the ground and stepped out of them.

There was one more article of clothing left.

"All of it," he reminded me in a voice decorated with desire. With a curt nod, I tugged my Calvin Klein's down and kicked them off. My cock bobbed with my movement, standing out from my blonde curls.

Completely naked, I stood before him, my cheeks flushed with the heat of his appreciative stare while he continued to stroke himself, only now his hips were making the slightest thrusting motions.

"Exquisite."

His one word said so much.

Confidence began to flow through me, and even though I could still feel red of my cheeks at his words, I keep my eyes on his as I took the few steps to him. Bending over, I took the glass from his hand and placed it on the table next to the chair.

I grabbed his wrist and took his hand off his erection. "Let me take care of that for you," I whispered as I placed my hands on his thighs, and I realized it was the first time I had touched him since I had arrived about thirty minutes before. That was practically twice as long as I had been with any john on the streets. Squeezing, I felt the pure muscle of his leg as I lowered myself to my knees and settled between his legs.

Never removing my gaze, I tentatively reached up and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Grasping them and his underwear, I tugged on them as he lifted his hips. I pulled them down to his knees and finally allowed my eyes to leave his.

Only inches before me stood the fucking biggest cock I had ever seen. Nestled in pure black curls, it stood erect, the leaking fluid from the slit gathered at the tip. I tilted my head, watching him through my lashes the entire time, I swirled my tongue out and around the smooth pink head, enjoying the salty taste of his precum as it flowed over my taste buds.

His breath fucking hitched.

If there was one thing I was skilled at, it was fucking giving head. On the streets, you wanted it over and done with as quick as possible. I had perfected this talent, and could make a man sit on the edge of orgasm for an hour or have him shooting his load in less than five minutes.

With Peter, for once, I wanted to take my time.

As soon as I took his head into my mouth, I felt both his hands in my hair, pushing it back from my face so he had an unobstructed view of me sucking his cock.

"Fuck, yeah, just like that," he groaned. Impatiently, he thrust his hips up, forcing himself deeper in my mouth. Accepting his length, I relaxed my throat and let his head tap the back of it while I swallowed around him. "You like to take it deep, don't you?"

His hands stopped their gentle caresses in my hair, one moving to the back of my head as it bobbed up and down his shaft. My own cocked ached for release, and I moved one hand from his thigh to stroke myself. At my own touch, I moaned around him, the vibrations from my lips only spurred him on.

"Yeah, touch yourself. Stroke your cock for me."

I let my other hand fall between his soft thighs, settling on his velvety sac, rolling each ball in my palm before giving them a sharp tug.

When I felt his cock begin to pulse in my mouth, I released him with a pop, and looked up at him.

"Are you ready to fuck me?"

"Very much so." He smirked and motioned to the bed. Standing up, I walked to the bed and lay down on my back, resting on my elbows so I could watch him undress.

He stood up, his pants falling down to his ankles with the movement. Lifting one leg, then the other, he kicked himself free and then removed his shirt, tossing it in the chair near my jacket when he was done.

He was in even better shape than I had first given him credit for. Certainly, fucking sexier than the middle-aged potbellied men I was used to seeing pant over me. He sported a solid frame, built like a swimmer, his six-pack rippling under his beautifully naturally sun-kissed skin as he kneeled on bed and crawled his way over to me.

Lowering his hips onto mine, our erections touched for the first time, sending a surge of pure bliss through my entire body. I had never fucked for the sheer pleasure of it. It had always been a means to an end, or against my will.

But there, in the hotel room with Peter, I was very fucking willing.

Moaning at the sensation of our slickened cocks sliding together as he ground his hips into mine, I reached up and pulled his lips down to me.

I usually never fucking kissed anyone. Ever. It just wasn't done on the streets. It was too fucking personal.

"You taste so fucking good," he murmured just before his tongue entered my eager mouth. The slow, sensuous circles were driving me crazy, and my hands gripped his ass, holding him to me so I could thrust up into him. "You want me to fuck you, Jasper?"

Tilting my head to the side, his lips were sucking on the skin below my ear. Through my parted mouth escaped constant groans as I returned his passion with equal force. "Yes, fuck me…please."

So I wasn't above begging. Sue me.

I fucking wanted him inside me and I had no problem letting him know it. Rising to his knees, he leaned over the nightstand and grabbed a condom and bottle of lube. After opening the condom, he slipped it over his erection, his hands then spread lube around his length before he drizzled some on my ass.

This entire night was full of new experiences. Someone was actually preparing me to be fucked. I was rarely lucky enough to have lube available, much less have slippery fingers in my hole, gradually stretching me for them.

Foreplay was such a foreign concept.

"Ready for me?" he asked, removing his fingers from my ass. Grabbing both my ankles, he placed them on his shoulders and then spread my cheeks with one hand while he guided his cock into my ass.

He towered above me, powerful, assertive, his jaw clenched as his cock slowly pushed through the tight muscles. At the intrusion, a hissed escaped me as I cringed and clenched my eyes. He paused, his hands gently running up and down my chest and stomach.

"You okay?" he whispered, his eyebrows raised in hope.

Never had anyone cared if I was okay before. It was all about them, they would crudely enter me, pounding my ass until I was sore and raw with no regard to my comfort, never once considering the abuse my body was taking for the sake of their satisfaction.

After a few deep breaths, I nodded and smiled up at him. He returned with a grin of his own, and began to slowly push into me until he was fully seated. Balls to balls he remained, once again waiting for my body to adjust to the intrusion before he finally began pumping in and out of me in a steady rhythm.

As my cock bounced with every one of his powerful thrusts, I admired his skilled movements above me. His head lulled back, dark scruff covered his jaw and throat, full lips pulled between gleaming white teeth. Sweat had begun to gather on his chest from his exertion, and I watched it roll down his perfect skin. Strong hands gripped my thighs, his fingers digging into my flesh to keep my ass pressed tightly to him as he continued to assault it with his hard cock.

Snapping his head up, he looked down at me with a feral hunger in his eyes. "Stroke your cock," he ordered.

That was one order I was hesitant to follow. Fucking was about getting the john off, not me. If I even got the slightly bit aroused, it was a miracle, but with him, I was as hard as a fucking rock, and dying to feel my own hand, but it wasn't what I was being paid for.

Sensing my reluctance, he spoke again between gasps of breath. "This isn't just…for me…." With those words, I eagerly gripped my cock in my hand, tightening my fist immediately, and began stroking in time with his thrusts. Pushing my head back into the bed, and using his shoulders as leverage, I lifted my ass off the bed, allowing him to penetrate me deeper.

Losing with little control I had, I begged, "Fuck me deeper."

He let loose a growl, grabbed my legs and thrust forward hard and fast, his cock hitting a spot deep within me I had never knew existed.

"Oh, fuck," I groaned. "Yeah, right there…harder."

Since when had I become the chatty demanding one?

"You want me to fuck you hard, you like my cock filling up your ass, don't you?"

"Fuck, yes."

"So fucking tight, boy." As soon as the words had left his lips, he reached down and pulled my hand off my cock, replacing it with his own.

It had been ages since another had touched me in such a desired way, and I felt my balls tighten as soon as his fingers had fully embraced me.

"Oh, fuck." My hands fell to my sides, fisting the blanket under me as my climax hit me in full force. "I'm cumming," I practically shouted.

"Fucking cum for me," he encouraged, squeezing the swollen head of my cock just as it erupted with milky hot cum, shooting it over my chest and stomach. With a wanton grunt, he slammed into me one last time before collapsing on top of me, his hips bucking sporadically as he rode out his orgasm.

While he lay on me, his body periodically quivering, I ran my hands soothingly up and down his back. Peter picked his head up off my shoulder, placing a kiss on my sweaty skin before moving his lips tenderly over mine.

I had never felt so done before, just fucking done, every muscle in my body cleansed and sated by our fucking. Complete and utter relaxation flowed through me, certainly different from the dancing nerves I had walked into the room with.

I felt him sigh against me before pushing himself up on his knees once again.

"Let's go get cleaned up," he suggested climbing off the bed and grabbing my hand.

"Cleaned up?"

Another new concept.

With a deep laugh, he turned me toward the bathroom, his hands on my hips. "Yes, cleaned up, Jasper. As in a nice hot shower."

I couldn't help but moan at the thought of being soapy and wet and slippery with him in a large shower.

"**~~**"

He sat with his back against the wood headboard. I lay between his spread legs, my back to his chest. We weren't exactly cuddling, but our bodies were warm and comfortable. When I felt his fingers separating my curls, I dropped my head to his shoulder.

"Mmm…your fucking blue eyes and honey waves are quite the lethal combination, aren't they? To say nothing of that gorgeous drawl."

Under his scrutiny, I shifted uncomfortably against him. Wanting to direct the attention away from me, I decided to ask something I normally would not have.

"Speaking of a drawl, I swear I hear a bit of one as well."

Chuckling, he leaned his head back against the pillow. "I guess you probably did. It tends to slip out when I'm not focused enough."

"Focused enough?"

"Yes. Like when I'm balls deep inside a tight ass, my mind isn't always on hiding my accent."

Blushing, I whispered an embarrassed, "Oh."

"What part of Texas are you from, Jasper?"

_Oh, he was good_.

"How did you know?" I leaned to the side, eyeing him.

Shrugging, he winked."I always run a background check on my all escorts before I fuck them." His fingers literally pushed my mouth closed. "Relax, Jasper. I'm joking."

I felt the tension that had gathered in my muscles at his words disappear just as fast. The last thing I wanted was for him, or fucking anyone, to know my history.

"So?"

"Houston…mostly." It wasn't entirely a lie. My birth certificate said Houston, and I had spent my formative years there.

And they had been quite formative.

"I thought so, you have the twang of the lower south dialect." His hands left my hair and rested on my chest, his thumbs lazily circling my nipples.

"How about you?"

"Just outside Lubbock. My parents had a ranch, cattle and such." His fingers never stopped their ghostly passes over my chest and arms.

I shivered under his arousing touch.

"You like that, sexy?" he asked, his voice suddenly lower, and his accent reappearing. Nodding, I turned my head, and putting a hand on his chin, I pulled his lips to mine.

The kiss started off innocently enough, but after I found myself under him, his lips working down my body as it shuddered under him, we were anything but innocent. When his tongue caressed around my navel, my hips bucked up. Smiling, he continued down until his berry lips were poised over the head of my pulsing cock.

"Time to see what you taste like…." Were the last words I heard him until my moans drowned him out completely.

"**~~**"

They were many of them and they were feather light…and moist. Little bug bites with a soft touch instead of a sting or pinch. Then I heard one of the bugs distinctly moan.

Lying on my stomach, I pried my eyes open, although the pitch black of the room would not allow me to make out my surroundings. The moment of panic should have set in, but I felt oddly welcomed and safe. As I blinked my way into consciousness, I felt the warm weight on me, enveloping me and covering my back completely.

"Time to wake up," the quiet voice murmured. After pushing my hair aside, I felt the moist bites continue on the sensitive skin at the nape of my neck. At the same time, strong legs settled between my thighs, wet fingers spread my ass, probing my hot hole.

"Fuccckkk," I groaned into the pillow, pushing my ass up into the air and spreading my legs, giving him easier access.

"Yes, time to fuck," he whispered into my ear as he pushed in the head of his condom sheathed cock.

In unison, we groaned, reveling in the fullness when he was fully seated in me.

Grunting, he continued to push, his hands gripping my hips, holding me to him. "I love fucking this tight ass of yours."

Enthusiastically, I let my hips met his thrust for thrust, and above my head, my hands gripped the wood bars of the headboard turning my knuckles white with the strain. Every fiber in my body hummed with gratification as he aggressively fucked me. Reaching down under me, he wrapped his fingers around my overly sensitive cock, stroking it so furiously that I was on the edge of my climax within a few pumps.

"You're…the…best…fuck…I've…"he began, punctuating each syllable with a sharp thrust, "ever had." Crying out, his body tensed above me, his teeth biting into the flesh of my shoulder. The feeling of him pulsing inside me sent me over, and my own cock began to spasm in his hand, shooting hot cum onto the bedspread below me.

With his weight on top of me, we lay there, catching our breath. Moaning when his limp cock finally slid from me, I instantly missed the feeling of him inside me.

"I should go," I said quietly into the pillow.

"Why the rush?" He let his nose nuzzle my cheek, his breath spreading over my face.

Shyly, I looked down. "I don't want to go over the time limit." I hated bringing up the fact that I was being paid to be there.

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Oh, don't worry about that, it's taken care of." My silence was question enough, so he explained. "I always pay for the entire night. I never know how long I am going to want their company. And…"

"What?"

"Well, let's just say I have never wanted anyone's company three times before."

Instantly, I blushed.

Rolling off me, he placed a kiss on my cheek before he got off the bed.

"I need to go shower again. You get some more sleep."

He didn't have to tell me twice.

Closing my eyes as he walked off, I never even heard the shower start.

"**~~**"

When he looked at me, his eyes traveling down my body in the soft glow of the light near the bed, I felt exposed in a way I never had before. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as he let his stare blatantly stop at my cock, almost willing it to come to life again.

Wasn't three times enough for this man? Hadn't I earned my payment already? While working on the streets was exhausting in its own way, never had I had to perform three times with one john. This shit was going to wear me out.

I made a mental note to eat better and take advantage of the gym membership Tayna had offered.

Nervously, I reached for the sheet, laying it across my lap and covering up some of my nakedness. I was not ashamed of my body, far from it, but as I sat there while he openly desired me, my stomach fluttered with nervous butterflies and I felt the need to cover up.

Chuckling, he turned away from me and grabbed his shirt. With hungry eyes I watched as he slipped his long arms through the crisp white shirt.

"As sexy as you are sitting there with that look, I don't have time for another round of fun," he stated as he began to button up the shirt and turned to face me again. He was so comfortable, so sure of each movement he made, almost like he was living a movie script and everything just fell into place for him. "I have a lot of work to do tonight."

I wasn't sure how to react. Admittedly, I was a bit relieved that he had to work. My ass was sore, and I honestly didn't know if I could have handled his cock inside me again. However, part of me was disappointed that my time with him was almost over. I would have to leave and go back to my apartment, as nice as it was, I was alone there.

It almost made me miss the streets and the constant companionship I had there.

Almost.

Giving him a smile, I glanced around for my clothes and found them neatly folded on the dresser. Apparently a bit of a neat freak, he must have folded them earlier. The gold of his cuff links caught my eye as he slid one through the hole and began to clip it. I licked my lips at the contrast of the white shirt against his deeply tanned skin and dark hair covering his forearm and wrist.

"What?" he asked, holding out his other wrist while doing up the link with deft fingers.

I looked up at him. The confidence I had had on the streets was all but lost in the fancy hotel suite with down bedspreads and thick terry robs. Here I was intimidated, this was not my territory, my comfort level had been breached as soon as I stepped from the hard concrete of the sidewalk onto the shiny marble floor.

"Don't be afraid, Jasper."

Biting my lip, I gathered my thoughts for a moment before deciding to continue. While I was nervous with him, he gave off an air of candor that made it hard not to be completely forthcoming.

Taking a deep breath, I spoke. "Well, you're a very…nice looking guy." I blushed deeper but kept going. "You're obviously well off. So…why do you…." I hesitated, unable to finish, to say those last words that solidified my employment, that I was getting fucked for cash.

"Need an escort?" he finished for me with a smug smile as he grabbed his tie and tossed the paisley printed silk over his neck. Again, I licked my lips when my eyes fell on where his pale collar met the vulnerable, tanned skin of his neck.

Recalling how he fucking moaned when I sucked on that very spot a few hours prior, I felt my cock twitch.

"Yeah," I replied casually, but when he raised an eyebrow at my response, I changed my answer. "Yes." I looked down at my hands in my lap, never having felt these conflicted emotions before, the need to please someone else so intensely and yet, still be myself.

I felt the firm grip on my chin as his fingers forced my face up until I was looking into his piercing eyes. "Jasper, never look down for anyone. Ever. Me included…understand?"

I nodded, gratefully accepting his direction, fucking accepting anything he would give me. Leaning over, he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. The smell of his aftershave mixed with the lingering smell of our fucks filled my lungs when I took a deep breath.

"Good. As for needing an escort, it's not very complicated really. I like money, I make a lot of it, but to do that, I have to put in a lot of hours. I can't be bothered with a relationship, and they tend to bore me anyway. But when I have a certain…itch that needs scratching, I give Tayna a call. She's always treated me well."

"I understand. I'm sorry, I should not ha-"

"Stop. Don't apologize. Ask me anything you want, but if you ever ask a question that makes me uncomfortable, I won't answer. "

"Okay, thank you." I fed off his confidence and met his gaze. The smile he gave me made me proud.

"Now, as much as I would love to continue this conversation, among other pleasures we've had tonight, I really must get back to work. I assume Tayna has arranged a car, or shall I procure one for you?" he asked, knotting his tie and tightening it at his neck.

"Yea-I mean, yes, I have a car waiting for me downstairs."

Smiling he held out his hand to me. Taking it, I stood up, unabashedly letting the sheet fall, naked before him. "You know you're fucking sexy wearing nothing but that blush right?" He complimented, his hands grazing up and down my sides sending shivers throughout my body. "But I must ask, why the blush, embarrassed or ashamed?

"A little of both I guess," I answer honestly, shrugging.

He pulled back, and stared me with his blue-green eyes. "Don't be ashamed of what you do. You're providing a service, it's nothing to be ashamed of."

"But-"

"No 'buts', Jasper. Don't be ashamed of who you are, or what you do."

I leaned toward him, knowing he would be unable to resist one last kiss. When one of his hands immediately went behind my neck to draw me closer, I knew I had been right. It was a brief but passionate kiss, my lips automatically opened to accept his velvet tongue before he pulled away a bit breathless.

"Fuck…." he groaned, placing his forehead against mine. "You are quite the distraction." With my hands on his wrists, my fingers playing with those shiny gold links, I grinned at him. "And here I thought fucking your ass three times would help me concentrate better on my work tonight. I'm rarely wrong, but you, my dear Jasper, have proven me wrong tonight."

"My pleasure," I whispered before kissing his lips one last time. The sound of his hand smacking my ass made me jump more than the sting that radiated through my flesh.

"Now go get dressed before I decide to say screw work and fuck you again instead." He teased, releasing me from his hold. With red cheeks, and ass, I gathered my clothes and went into the bathroom to dress.

Standing at his door in my shirt and dress pants, my suit jacket tossed over my arm, I waited while he walked over to me. His aqua eyes looked me up and down, similar to how he had when I had first entered the room several hours ago, and I felt myself begin to harden under his stare. Shifting, I dropped my jacket to cover my growing erection. He had already told me he had no time for more, and I didn't want to risk pissing him off by teasing him.

"Thank you, Jasper, for everything." I could feel the warmth of his hand he put on my shoulder through my thin shirt. It did nothing but encourage my cock.

"Thank you," I nodded. How does one go about saying good night to a john? I had been used to opening the car door and getting out before they had even caught their breath. This long goodbye shit was new territory for me.

"I've never requested the presence of an escort a second time, but I think I might just put you on a standing order." His hand moved to my neck, spreading the warmth there. "I would like to _see_ you again," he chuckled, his thumb caressing my jaw.

"It would be my pleasure to be…_seen _again," I returned his banter.

"Goodbye, Jasper." Leaning in, he kissed me one last time, and I resisted every instinct I had to push him back toward the bed. "Until next time."

"Goodbye, Peter," I finally addressed him by name. I turned and put my hand on the door knob. With one last glance over my shoulder, I opened the door and walked through, hearing the soft click and the deadbolt slide behind me.

I had survived my first night. Not only had I survived, I had enjoyed myself, three times actually, and my presence had already been requested to be repeated.

And for once in my life, I didn't feel used. Of course, I realized I had been used, as he said I provided a service, and he had used that service. However, it felt different.

I would be used by him anytime.

Grinning, I made my down to the lobby and out through the revolving door to the waiting Town Car. Opening the door, I slid into the plush leather seats and settled in.

"Did you have a good evening, Mr. Whitlock?" Aro asked me, glancing over his shoulder and taking in my well worn appearance.

Looking out the window at the lights of the city as he pulled away from the sidewalk, I blushed at the memories that flooded my head. Peter's body above mine, thrusting, gasping, and moaning.

"_You're the best fuck I've ever had." _

Either he hadn't been fucked much, or my competition in the escort service was subpar. Smiling, I realized either situation was a win/win for me.

"Yes, I did. Thank you for asking."

"Home?" he asked, taking a right turn.

"Yes, please."

_Welcome to Oz, Jasper_.

Any minute, I expected Munchkins to jump out and circle the car, telling me to follow the yellow brick road.

I was definitely going to take their advice, put on my ruby slippers and follow that fucking yellow brick road.

This was my new life.

And I fucking loved it.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading!

I'm thrilled to announce that Dannie and I have partnered up to host a contest called Devirginizing Edward. Details can be found here http :/ www . fanfiction . net/u/2180161/Devirginizing_Edward (remove spaces). So, get busy writing Edward gettin' busy for his first time!


	2. Working Boy

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-First, thank YOU to everyone that read, reviewed chapter one, here is some Epov for you, let's see what he has been up to in the windy city…

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

More A/N at the end.

Working hard for the money… so hard for it, honey….

"**~~**"

Epov

_Socks. Underwear. Undershirts. Belts. Deodorant. _

Lying in bed with the silk sheets tangled around my legs from my tossing and turning, I ran through the list of items that were in my suitcase for the third time, going through my mental checklist to make sure I hadn't forgotten to pack anything.

_Ipod. Charger. Razor. Aftershave. Cologne. _

As I had requested, my suits and dress shirts had already been sent to Seattle. I didn't want to have to deal with the extra unpacking. I had also requested that Bella have my tuxedo pressed and pleated for me in case I had to attend a black tie event.

I really hoped I didn't.

_Floss. Hairbrush. Mouthwash. Toothbrush. Shaving cream. _

If the partners held a black tie event, I would be expected to bring a date which, no matter how much pre-planning I did, I wouldn't happen. A date would mean that I would actually have to meet someone outside of work, and a real date would mean coming out to the entire world, which was something I could never do.

Sighing, I glanced over at the clock on my table. It was two minutes until that time. That time when I would get up and face yet another day of pretending to be someone I wasn't. Sure, I was the business man at the top of my game. I was good. I knew it and so did everyone else.

Yet, it was all a façade. One I made in order to please those close, and not so close, to me. I lived the lie life to please my father, it was always his dream to have me follow in his footsteps, and honestly, I loved my work.

What I didn't love was having absolutely no life outside of my career. I had learned to accept it, realizing it was probably for the best as being openly gay in my work wasn't nearly as accepted as everyone made it out to be. If anyone had found out I was gay, everything my father had worked years to build could potentially come crashing down around him.

And there was no way I would let that happen.

Besides, it's not like I had any time for a relationship anyway. Well, with anything other than my hand.

Speaking of…

Sure enough, as soon as the numbers flipped to 5:30, the alarm blared and I hit the top of the mirrored box with my hand. Untangling the red satin sheet from my body, I swung my legs over and worked out the kinks before heading for the shower.

Walking into my expansive bathroom, I stripped out my briefs and tossed them into the hamper. Noticing it was getting full, I made a mental note to let Lucy know that the laundry needed to be done while I was gone.

After the water had warmed up, I opened the glass door and climbed in the roomy shower. I shampooed my hair and left in a deep conditioner while I shaved and washed my body. Sticking my head under the steady stream of steaming water, I tilted my head back and rinsed the conditioner from my hair. Shaking my head, the water sprayed from me, splattering on the walls.

I placed one hand on the smooth gray marble and mindlessly my other hand went to my cock, gradually stroking away the limpness, replacing it with a pulse that sent a charge through my body. It was the small pleasure I gained from pleasing myself.

This was one of the many things in my life that was perfunctory. I did it because…well, because I had to. The last thing I wanted was to be giving a presentation to the board and have the cute delivery boy come in and make me sport wood.

That would not be good.

So, to avoid such embarrassment, I took care of myself every two or three days. I knew it was odd. Most guys were at least once a day, but not me.

It was another sign of my busy life, not only did I not have time for a relationship; I barely had time for my own hand. I couldn't even contrive the pleasure of masturbating in bed. No, I had to do the deed in the shower, like the rest of my life, killing two birds with one stone.

I was the prince of multitasking.

The water streamed down my back as my grip around my cock tightened. Concentrating on what would help me reach my goal the quickest, I pictured a blond man on his knees before me, his full lips wrapped around my cock while his head bobbed up and down. I could practically feel the vibrations of his moans as my hands weaved through his curly hair. Occasionally, I had wondered why I had always chosen a curly-haired the blond boy, and eventually had figured it was because it was what brought my orgasm to me the quickest.

Even my sounds were practically silent, hidden from no one, yet everyone. Biting my lip, I hung my head forward and watched my hand making a quick pace over myself.

_Blond hair, waves, blue eyes, lush lips. _

As the image struck me with incredible clarity, I felt the warmth spread and my balls began to tighten. With a quiet grunt, I came harder than usual, my orgasm hitting me with an intensity I rarely experienced. White streams shot from me onto the shower floor as my body was wrecked with spasms that traveled through it at a blazing pace.

Gasping, I released my softening cock and leaned my forehead against the wall. When my breathing had returned to normal, I rinsed off one last time before getting out. Grabbing a towel from the warmer, I dried off and tied it around my hips.

I heard my phone ringing from the next room and glanced at the bathroom clock.

Six-thirty in the morning and I was already getting calls from work. I let it go to voicemail and continued getting ready for another day.

A day just like all the others.

An hour later I exited the building, my briefcase in one hand, my Blackberry in the other, I nodded to the doorman and headed straight for the black car waiting in front of the building.

"Morning Mr. Cullen," Felix greeted me as I got into the backseat.

"How are you today, Felix?" I asked as I started replying to an email on my phone.

"I'm well, sir, and you?"

"Very well, thank you."

That ended our conversation. It was the same every morning. It wasn't that I didn't like him. Felix had been with the company for three years and was always pleasant, more importantly, he did his job without complaint. Our relationship had just never extended beyond our daily morning greeting and a Christmas bonus in December.

It was just another person in my life, someone that filled up the day but never filled the void.

I had few in my life that I could count on to be there for me. There was Bella, my assistant who knew me as well I knew myself; from how I took my coffee, to what kind of underwear I preferred. After having done most of my holiday shopping for me, she knew my family as well. My father often included Bella in our gatherings as her family lived in Washington and she was alone in Chicago. Wonderful at anticipating my needs, she was a blessing to have with my schedule.

And of course, there was my father.

After all, he was the reason I was in Chicago to begin with. In high school, like all teens, I had had big dreams of exploring my passion in college and then moving away to fulfill my dreams.

Instead, I went to college at Dartmouth, got my master's in business and immediately went to work for my father's company. I don't know why I ever thought I would have done something different, as I look back on my life, I realized I had been groomed to be my father's successor since the day I was born.

From elementary school, to the French tutors, to the private high school and Ivy League college, it was in my blood to run Cullen Pharmaceuticals.

It was my destiny. My dream of being a pianist was just that…a dream.

The drive to the office was only about twenty minutes without traffic; however, there was not a day that we didn't sit bumper to bumper for over an hour with all the other robots on their way to put in their time. As Felix maneuvered us through the rush hour traffic, I answered a few emails and returned a few calls.

As we passed by the impressive skyscrapers, their height casting long shadows over the streets, I didn't think about the day ahead, but rather nothing at all. I was on cruise control, my body and mind going through motions, getting the job done, and done well.

My heart, however, was never where I was. It was out there searching for its soul mate, for its passion, the one that would make it worth beating another day for. While my mind had given up on finding true love, accepting my fate with a realist's thoughts, my heart refused to do so.

Unfortunately, I was a firm believer in mind over matter, and my heart was a lost cause, another causality of the battle I fought daily.

My phone rang and I hit the button "I'm on my way, Bella." She reminded me of an early appointment, and what time my flight was. "Yes, I realize that. I will be there in ten minutes."

Hanging up, I realized that maybe going out to Seattle for a week wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps the change of scenery would do me some good. Perhaps I could explore the Seattle nightlife a bit.

All work and no play make Edward a dull boy.

Who was I kidding? That was my life, all work and no play and I was a dull boy.

Felix pulled up in front of our building, got out and opened my door.

"Have a good day, Mr. Cullen," he tipped his head as I got out.

"You too," I relied automatically before heading into the huge high rise.

My heels clicked on the marble floor in the lobby, Bella was waiting for me by the front desk with my coffee in hand. She was a beautiful girl, tall in her heels, her shapely body always dressed to show off her assets, long brown hair stylishly pulled up, and large, honest brown eyes.

"Morning, Edward," she chuckled, handing me the coffee. "Sleep well?"

"Morning, Bella. How was your date last night?" I ignored her question and asked one of my own. As she fell in step next to me on the way to the elevator, she had her Blackberry out and was scrolling through the calendar.

"It was good, thanks for asking," she glanced up at me, debating on whether or not to give me more details. "Your first appointment is in twenty minutes, I have already set the presentation our on the table, and have called to confirm. Also, I have upgraded the room in Seattle to a suite. I thought you'd be more comfortable."

"Thank you," I barely got in before she was continuing.

"Sam called from ISM and rescheduled the meeting, but sent over the paperwork for you to look over, and it's on your desk. There are two meetings after lunch, both are ready to go. I called your maid, informed her of your trip, and took care of her birthday present as well." She finally stopped, taking a deep breath.

"Thanks, Bella, I appreciate it." I meant it, I did appreciate her hard work, I couldn't have asked for a better assistant.

The doors opened and we both walked out, turning right toward our offices. Walking through the glass doors, I was not surprised to see Mr. Yorkie already scampering in my direction. He had a tendency for the dramatics and would take a simple phone call and turn it into the potential downfall of the company, but he was good at his job.

"Good morning, Eric," I said dryly, not bothering with coming to a stop since I knew he would just keep the pace with me.

The words already were flying out of his mouth before I finished my greeting. "Mr. Cullen, Mr. Barrah called, he asked about-"

"Tell him he will have his proposal when I am ready to give it to him and not a moment before."

"Yes, sir. Also the p-"

"Jessica, I need that fax sent to DSC before lunch," I reminded her as I passed her low rise cubical.

"Yes, sir." She nodded, immediately shuffling papers around on her desk that was cluttered with various figures and flowers.

Eric resumed, "Mr. Cullen, the partners at InGene requested a mee-"

"Tell them it will have to wait. Have Bella send them my schedule and we can set something up from there." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella jot it down on her Blackberry.

"Yes, sir," he responded again, the pen in his hands moving quickly across the yellow notepad he held.

Arriving at my office, both Bella and Eric followed me inside, each one taking turns updating me on the overnight developments at our overseas branches. After taking off my coat and setting my briefcase on my desk, I looked up at them both pointedly. Bella smiled at me, grabbed Eric's arm and practically dragged him from my office.

As she turned to close the door, I mouthed a "thank you" to her. Winking, she shut the door behind her. Even through the heavy wooden door, I heard Eric complaining.

Sitting down in my leather chair, I booted up my laptop, and even though I had been technically working since seven that morning, officially began my work day. The phone on my desk rang, and I hit the button.

"I'll be there in two minutes, Bella," I informed her without waiting to hear it was her. Chucking, she replied with a "see you then" and hung up.

Two hours later, the meeting was over and I decided to pop in and see my father. Knocking on the large wooden door, I waited for his muffled invitation before pushing it open.

"Good morning, son," he greeted me, briefly looking up from his paperwork to flash me a smile. Even though his smile was genuine, I could still see the strain in his face. He was tired. Dark circles under his eyes and drooping lids made it very apparent. That's to say nothing of how his entire body was practically slumped forward onto his desk.

If I was the prince of multi-tasking my dad was the king.

"Hey, Dad." I normally used his name when around other co-workers, but here in the privacy of his office, I called him what he was…my father. "You look terrible," I told him as I took the high back chair that sat in front of his large oak desk.

Setting his pen down, he looked back to me, his lips in a tight line. "Thank you, son. Yes, my morning is going just dandy, thanks for asking," he shot back sarcastically.

I chuckled. "Just pointing out the obvious, Dad. What's got you so stressed now?"

He sighed, running both is hands through his blonde hair before they settled at the nape of his neck. "This press junket with Lisoga. I know it's needed and it's the only way will get the product out there but I," he stopped, burying his face in his hands and groaning.

"What, dad?"

"You usually handle this stuff, I haven't done a press release since you started working here," he practically whined.

I had to laugh again. "You will be fine. You did this for years before I came along. It's not my fault you've grown dependent." I said smugly, knowing it would get a reaction out of him.

"I am not dependent, I am spoiled. There is a difference," He explained with a wide grin on his face. I knew he just needed a little reassurance in his abilities.

"Dad, I've traveled for the company before, you had to handle these releases before. It's just like riding a bike," I winked at him. "You'll do great."

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, you don't suppose…."

"Yes, I'm sure Bella will be available to help you out," I finished for him.

"Great! Speaking of your trip, are you ready?"

I nodded, twirling a pen through my fingers. "Yes, everything's booked and I know exactly what's going on." I stopped and looked at him. "Don't worry about it, I got this Dad. It's what I've been raised to do."

He furrowed his brow at my last few words, but wisely chose to let them slide by.

"And have you-"

I put a hand up to stop him. "Already taken care of. I said goodbye to mom last night." I stood up, putting the pen on his desk.

"I have to go, meeting Emmett for lunch at Everest."

"Tell him I said hello," he replied, returning to his work.

"Will do," I obliged, closing his door behind me.

"**~~**"

"You ready for this?" he asked as he settled in his chair, his oversized body making the chair look like it belonged at a child's table.

"I suppose. I've never been to Seattle before so that's a bonus. Plus, you know my father would never have the patience to deal with this, that's why he's sending me."

His laughter boomed throughout the entire restaurant. "Yeah, you do realize your parents are having mild heart attacks about this, right?"

"Yes, I do, Emmett, thanks for the reminder." I murmured darkly, looking over my menu.

Smacking the table, he chuckled, "Lighten up, dude. You need to get laid."

"You have no idea how true that statement is," I promised right before taking a long pull from my beer.

Emmett was the only person that knew my sexual orientation. I didn't really have a choice in that since he had found what he liked to call my 'spank bank' under my bed when we were sixteen. Most boys, like Emmett, had Playboy or Penthouse...I had Muscle Man.

Leaning across the small table, he rested on one elbow. "Ever thought about just telling the truth? This is no way to live, man."

"We've had this discussion, Emmett. Drop it, please." I pleaded, glancing around at nearby tables for eavesdroppers.

Sighing, he leaned back in his chair once more. "Alright, whatever you-," he stopped abruptly, a look of excitement crossing his face. That look always scared me.

"What?"

"I think I may have just the solution for you," he smiled, turning around to pull something out of his coat pocket. Turning back to me, he handed me a small white business card, in black writing it said 'Denali Escorts' with a telephone, fax, email and website address.

Escorts?

Like, _escorts?_

"Emmett, what is this?"

"Trust me, dude. They have something for all...preferences," he smirked proudly, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

Leaning across the table, I whispered fiercely, "Are you trying to tell me that I should get a hooker?"

"Not a hooker, an escort, there is a difference."

_Why did people keep telling me that?_

"They both get paid for sex, where is there a difference?" I asked, still whispering.

He smiled again. "An escort can accompany you to any event, give you mind blowing sex, and fulfill all of your needs without risk of getting you sent to prison or endangering your health. Huge fucking difference."

"I can't believe you are...wait a minute, you keep their card in your pocket?" I asked incredulously.

"You never know when you will need to help out a friend," he gestured to me.

With a huff, I fell back against my chair, blocking out the sounds of other patrons and dishes clanking as I studied the card once again, considering Emmett's words.

He was right; I did need to get laid. Struggling to provide myself with one orgasm every three days was just not working out anymore. I could easily pay for the escort with my personal credit card, and no one would ever find out. In Seattle, I was miles away from home and anyone I knew. Even if someone from Lisoga spotted me, they would have no idea that my hired companion wasn't simply a friend.

"You're thinking about it, huh?" He inquired, nodding his head because he knew I was.

I shot a glance before looking back at the card. Then something dawned on me. "You've used them before?" I questioned.

"Just because I look this good doesn't mean I want just any skank from a local bar," he winked, lifting his beer bottle to his lips. After finishing, he said, "Seriously, dude, you deserve it. Fucking live a little, yeah?"

I nodded, not really sure how to reply before slipping the card into my wallet, laughing when I heard Emmett's enthusiastic 'yes'. Returning his fist bump, my mind was racing at top speed, running different scenarios of how my time in Seattle would be spent.

Live a little, indeed.

"**~~**"

As I watched the clock, I couldn't help but to pace my hotel room, my loafer clad feet leaving marks in the plush carpet. The room was bright, there was a light on above the bar and another on above the couch that sat in front of the flat screen. The one bedroom was just as well lit because I had turned on the two lamps by the bed when I had first arrived. Having previously requested the room to be set at seventy-two degrees, the temperature should have been comfortable, but I felt the sweat starting to bead at the base of my neck.

I was nervous.

Anxiety was not an emotion I was used to feeling. I was always calm under pressure, my father had raised me that way; I had to be prepared for every situation and completely relaxed in a stressful environment. Unfortunately, the situation I found myself in was not one that I could have been prepared for.

I was going to have a escort arriving at my hotel room within the hour.

Taking Emmett's advice, I had contacted the company through email, not quite comfortable with making a telephone call. What would I have said? Yes, I'd like one tall, dark and handsome to go, please? At least through email, I wouldn't have to actually voice what I was looking for.

I had received an email back the same day asking various questions ranging from my plans for the evening in question to what I liked sexually, even what I wanted him to wear. It felt like a very personal job application. After replying with the most basic answers known to man, I waited, somewhat impatiently, for a response. Luckily, I wasn't left in the dark for long, opening my email a few hours later, I had an email stating that Jacob would arrive at my hotel suite by seven with all the supplies we would need.

God, it sounded like I was hiring a contractor to build a house.

So, I continued to pace, having absolutely nothing else to do but sit and be nervous. It had been so long since I had been with someone sexually, the last time a few years prior and even then it had only been a one night stand.

A pool boy of my father's had happened to be in the pool house alone one night when I had ventured out there to escape the party my parents were throwing. Tired of the fake smiles and "brilliant boy" comments, I escaped to the small white building to enjoy a bit of quiet.

Apparently, he had come by to drop something off. In his white polo shirt and cut-off jeans, his dark skin made my cock twitch when I saw him bending over. Clearing my throat, he jumped and turned to see me.

"Mr. Cullen, I didn't realize I wasn't alone," he apologized. Holding a hand up, I stopped his speech. I pointedly dropped my gaze to his crotch, and watched him smile. "Why don't you have seat," he offered, motioning to the lounge chair beside him.

He sucked me off right there as I had sat in one of the fold out lawn chairs, bringing me to climax in mere moments before letting me return the favor.

I had him fired the next day.

I jumped at the knock on the room's door, my stomach flipped and my hands started to shake. Stopping with my hand on the handle, I took a few calming breaths, trying anything to keep me from looking like a complete imbecile in front of him. Finally, I wretched the door open. Keeping my eyes downcast, I saw a pair of black flip flops and was almost afraid to look up.

But I knew I had to look up.

The previous joke I had made to myself about ordering a tall, dark and handsome to go suddenly came rushing back as I took in his form. Standing at, at least, six foot four, he seemingly towered over my six foot form. A plain white tee stretched, literally stretched, over his broad chest and wide shoulders. I couldn't see his legs under the well-worn jeans but I assumed they were as built as the rest of him. I had said in the email that casual dress was acceptable but I almost reconsidered that as I found myself wondering what his large build would look like in a suit.

His skin was dark and he was definitely Native American with long, jet black hair tied back at the nape of his neck. Pushed away from his face, it was easy to see his deep brown eyes encased in thick, black lashes.

He was sexy.

He also had a small duffel bag hanging on his shoulder, holding what I assumed was our 'supplies'.

"Edward Cullen?" He asked, a hint of surprise in his tone.

I simply nodded, my nerves constricting my throat, leaving me unable to form words.

His dark eyes trailed down my form appreciatively before rising back to meet mine again. "Damn, I'm gonna have a good time tonight," he said with a cocky smirk.

I was pretty sure I blushed.

Stepping aside, his should grazed my chest as he brushed past me walking through the door. The heat that rolled off of his body was almost smothering. As he looked around the large suite, I took that time to admire his backside, which was almost as nice as his front. Though it was still covered by his shirt, I could see the muscles in his back protruding, rolling and tensing with the tiniest movement of his body. I was also more than ready to see his ass outside of the jeans he was wearing.

"Awesome place, Edward. I'm Jacob."

"Nice to meet you," I said quietly. For the first time in my entire life, I felt awkward and unsure.

Finally turning back around, he looked at me with an amused expression on his face. "You okay? You look a little...flushed," he teased, grinning and looking sexy as hell. The fact that I was definitely attracted to him only seemed to make me more uncomfortable, but I wasn't sure why.

"I'm fine. W-would you like a drink?" I stammered, slightly embarrassed at my ineloquent manner.

"Sure, sure. Whatever you have," he replied absentmindedly, still glancing around the rooms.

Walking to the bar, I pulled two snifters down from the cast-iron rack and grabbed a bottle of Courvoisier Vsop from the rack under the countertop.

My hands shook as I poured the cognac, my nerves actually getting the best of me for once. I jumped when I felt his arms snake around me, grabbing the bottle out of my hand and setting it on the bar before coming back to unbutton my shirt.

"You need to relax, gorgeous," he murmured in my ear, his hot breath washing over my ear and neck, sending a shiver through my body.

"I'm nervous," I admitted.

"Have you ever done this before?" he asked before dropping a firm kiss to the back of my neck, his fingers still slowly unbuttoning my shirt.

"Had sex with a man? Yes. Had sex with an escort? No." I answered truthfully, my voice shaking with excitement and anxiety.

"I'll take real good care of you, gorgeous. Just let me show you what I'm here for. I'll make you forget about everything except what I'm doing to your cock," he whispered seductively, running his tongue around my ear.

I moaned loudly at his words. It had been so long since I had had anybody touch me or talk to me like that and my body was responding very enthusiastically, my cock so hard it was throbbing, almost reaching the point of pain.

Pulling my shirt off, he let it drop to the floor, his hands immediately coming back around to my chest, the rough pad of his thumbs grazing over my nipples. Instinctively, I leaned back into him, his cloth-covered chest hitting the bare skin of my back. Even through his clothing, I could feel the warmth of his skin as it seeped into mine.

Placing open mouth kisses on my shoulder, he muttered, "Top or bottom?"

"B-b-bottom," I stuttered as he raked his blunt nail over my nipple, my body jerking forward at the sensation.

"Fuck," he groaned against the skin of my neck. "I _am _gonna have some fun tonight."

Dropping his left hand from chest, his fingers danced across my stomach, tracing the lines of my muscles before going lower, settling over my erection. He started rubbing me gently through my slacks, the barely there pressure mixing with the harder sensations of what his right hand was still doing to my nipple. Uninhibited noises were escaping me and as much as I wanted to be embarrassed at my overly eager reaction, I couldn't.

It just felt too damn good.

So good, in fact, that if he would have added the slightest bit more pressure to my cock, I would have come right then.

"Please…." I begged shamelessly.

I felt his chuckle rumble through his body. "Not just yet, gorgeous. We haven't even gotten to the fun parts yet."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he brought both hands to the button on my slacks, hastily popping it open and lowering the zipper. Once the garment pooled around my ankles, his thumbs were in the waistband of my boxer briefs, sliding them over my hips, my cock bobbing once it was freed. I felt him kneeling behind me, his hands at my feet as he gingerly removed my shoes and threw them behind him, each one hitting the carpet with a thud. Lifting my feet out of the puddle of clothing, he tossed them aside before running his large, hot hands up the back of my legs.

"Fuck, you _are_ gorgeous," he said before running his tongue from the back of my knee up to my thigh, stopping just below my ass cheek to place a tiny bite. He pushed on my back lightly, signaling for me to bend over the bar and I couldn't help but moan at what I hoped was coming next. Licking and nibbling the back of my thighs, he kneaded my ass cheeks, first with gentle caresses, then moving to more firm squeezes. Writhing and moaning, I pushed my hips back, trying to do anything to get him to touch my cock. I just needed to relieve the pressure, the burning ache that had settled between my legs since he had begun his assault on my body.

"Give me just a second," he mumbled around the sensitive skin on the back of my thigh, teasing it with his teeth and licking it one last time before I felt him rise.

Not even bothering to turn around, I placed my cheek against the bar, the marble feeling extremely cold against my over heated skin. Panting heavily, I watched as the bar top fogged up with every exhale which only reminded me that I shouldn't have been breathing so heavily so soon. Once again, I couldn't bring myself to care.

I heard his bag unzip and some fumbling around before I heard his footsteps heading my direction again. My cock twitched at the mere thought of the items in his hands. Feeling him sink back down behind me, I lifted my head from the bar, propping myself up on my elbows and waiting for his next move.

Jumping a bit when I felt the heat of his bare chest hit the side of my thigh, I looked down, noticing he was now nude and staring up at me through his dark lashes, his black hair now falling down around his shoulders. He was sitting on his heels, the muscles in his thighs protruding with the position. Sculpted pecs led to the most defined stomach I had ever seen, his dark, unmarred skin wrapped tight around his abs. Hard as steel, his cock stood proudly, long and thick, the head shining with precum.

He was so fucking sexy.

Breaking eye contact, he flipped the lid on the bottle of lube, pouring a generous amount in his palm before rubbing his hands together.

"Oh fuck," I moaned when his hot hand wrapped around my cock, making one long stroke from base to tip before twisting his wrist and rubbing the head. Almost simultaneously, his other hand went to my ass, one finger trailing down my crack before circling my hole, teasingly applying a light pressure, not quite enough to slip in like I wanted him too.

"So responsive," he whispered as he rose to his knees, immediately bringing his mouth to my hip bone, sucking and nibbling gently. While his mouth was occupied with my hip, his finger continued to gloriously torture me and his other hand kept stroking my cock, squeezing tighter than before.

Finally, _finally,_ I felt his finger push forward, gliding smoothly in and out of me, the sensations wracking my body so forcefully that I had to make a conscious effort not to come right then. My body shuddered violently as I tried to hold out and my cock twitched with spasms in his hand, fluid leaking steadily from my slit.

"Are you close, gorgeous? Do you want to come?" he asked as he added a second finger and, much to my surprise, removed his hand from my cock.

"Please...Oh, please…." I whimpered, pushing my hips back, trying to get his fingers deeper as they hit that euphoric spot inside me.

I heard the distinct ripping sound as he tore the condom open with his teeth, pulling his fingers from me to roll it down his hard length. Bringing himself back to his feet, he stood behind me, positioning himself at my entrance and grabbing my cock once again in a tight grip.

"Come on, gorgeous, come hard for me," he demanded, pumping my erection swiftly.

"Oh, God...Ung...Oh, fuck, I'm coming," I wailed, clenching my eyes shut as I felt my cock jerk before the first spurt of my cum erupted from me. Before the second wave of pleasure took over, I felt Jacob slip through my tight ring of muscle. "Oh my God," I gasped as he continued to push forward, not stopping until he was fully seated within me.

It was so fucking intense, the extreme pleasure coursing through my body, making me shake and cry out as it continued for what seemed like ages. I was used to my every third day masturbation orgasm, and while I remotely enjoyed my little blond boy fantasy, it was nothing compared to the ecstasy Jake had just helped me experience.

"That's it…." he encouraged through heavy breaths, "So fucking tight."

Eventually, my orgasm subsided, my body falling limply over the bar as I panted, my knees nearly buckling from exhaustion. Pulling his hand away from sated cock, Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist, keeping me upright, still holding himself deep inside me. He rested his cheek in between my shoulder blades, his ragged breathing washing over my skin as he waited for mine to return to normal.

I felt a gentle kiss on my back before he rocked his hips, pulling out most of his cock before pushing forward again, gliding in and out of me smoothly and slowly. After a few more slow pumps, he picked up the pace a bit, gripping my hips as he found a steady rhythm. Angling his hips, his cock grazed my prostate with each pass and I felt my cock begin to swell again.

Once I regained enough strength, I started meeting his thrusts, trying to get him to fuck me faster and deeper, doing everything I could to get me closer to experiencing that glorious feeling again.

I felt his grip on my hips tighten, preventing me from bucking against him.

"Please…." I groaned, already pleading with him to bring me to that amazing high again.

"We have all night," he promised, his mouth moving against the skin of my back. "Enjoy me, gorgeous."

Pushing off of the bar, I arched my back, reaching behind me and running my fingers through his black hair, wanting to know if it was as silky as it looked.

It was.

Fisting his locks in my hand, his mouth latched onto my neck, sucking and nibbling every bit of skin he could reach. Keeping his rhythm, he lifted one my legs and placed my knee on the nearest bar stool, the stretch of my body allowing him to penetrate me deeper. The room quickly filled with our noises; panting and moaning, whispered dirty words and whimpers.

I'm not sure how long we stayed in that position, but I know it was long enough for my thigh to start burning from holding it in such a foreign position for so long, but I couldn't find it in me to care about the pain. I felt him pull my leg off of the barstool and, after a few particularly hard thrusts, he withdrew from me. My whine of protest was quickly cut off when I was spun around to face him. Before I could ask why he stopped, he reached behind me, his hands cupping my ass and lifting me as if I weighed nothing.

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I leaned back against the bar, propping up on my elbows as one of his hands left my ass, reaching underneath to guide his cock back to my hole. Entering me once more, we both groaned at the feeling, his cock hitting new spots inside me with the change of position. Expecting his easy pace from before, I was caught off guard when he started brutally pounding into me, my arms falling flat against the bar as I gripped the edge, bracing myself for his thrusts.

I had never felt anything so fucking amazing in my life.

Trembling, I moved one arm from the bar, grasping my cock and tugging it furiously, feeling my orgasm rapidly approach. Sensing my release, he slowed down again and I nearly sobbed in frustration. I needed to come again so very badly.

Our exchanging of words only increased that need.

"Yeah...fuck, that's it…."

"God, ung...just like that…."

"Feels so fucking good...."

He brought me to the brink over and over again, speeding up his thrusts and moving my hand away so he could stroke me, only to slow down and loosen his grip, his fingers lazily rubbing the head of my cock every so often.

Dropping my head back, I squirmed and moaned when I felt his fingers move from cock to my chest, pinching and rolling my nipple between his fingers. Just as his touch disappeared, I felt his head hit my chest, the sweat on his brow mixed with mine as a low growl ripped from him, his thrusts becoming erratic.

He was close.

So was I.

Apparently, he wasn't as close as I assumed because after one more sharp thrust, he withdrew from me a second time and gently placed my feet back on the ground. I couldn't even begin to cover my shock.

"I'm not done with you, gorgeous," he smirked that cocky way again, sitting on the high back bar stool and pulling me to him.

At his close proximity, I realized that we had yet to kiss. Through this entire interaction, our lips had never touched and I suddenly wanted it. I wanted to feel that again, even if only for a moment but I didn't know if he would.

Wasn't there a general rule that you don't kiss prostitutes on the mouth?

My eyes flickered from his to his mouth then back to his eyes again, silently asking permission. I could have never requested it out loud. Much to my surprise, he didn't hesitate, grinning and pulling my face to his, our lips touching in a passion fueled kiss. Immediately, I opened my mouth to him, tasting him and moaning when his tongue moved against mine. Never breaking the kiss, he reached between us and grasped my cock, spreading the precum around and pumping me. Kissing and stroking, he only took his mouth away from mine to kiss down my jaw, then my neck which was arched to give him better access.

When my hips started jerking to meet his hand, he moved his mouth to my ear and whispered, "Ready for me again?"

"Fuck, yes," was my breathless reply.

"Turn around," he commanded, his hands going to my hips to guide me.

Doing as he said, I felt his grip tighten on my hips, which were sure to have bruises in the morning from his strength, pulling me to sit in his lap, his cock resting on my lower back. Placing my feet on the foot rest, I leaned forward against the bar and waited as I heard the click of the lube bottle again. When he was ready, I felt him at my entrance once more and I immediately pushed back, moaning loudly as he stretched me again.

Jesus, I was in fucking heaven.

He wasted no time that round, lifting his hips from the stool to meet me every time I slid back down his cock. I placed my palms against the edge of the bar, using it for leverage to fuck myself faster. Growling, he reached around and started pumping my cock again, quickly this time, twisting his wrist over the head with each pass.

"You gonna come for me again, gorgeous?"

"Oh, God...yeah," I nodded furiously, feeling my toes start to curl.

I was going to come. Hard.

"Fuck...damn it, I'm so close," he groaned.

That was it. Grinding my ass against him, that delicious burn in my lower abdomen began to spread, radiating through my groin until I exploded, cum shooting from my body forcefully and endlessly as my back arched and I cried out.

"God, I'm fucking coming."

I barely heard his strained voice through my haze, still in the middle of my own orgasm.

Collapsing, my upper body landed on the bar with a thud for a second time that night, my head falling onto my arms as I heaved, my breath escaping me quickly and harshly. Breathing just as heavily, Jacob ran his hand up and down my back, his softening cock still inside me.

Soft kisses breathed up my spine before I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist, holding me to him as he stood, letting my feet touch the floor before he loosened his grip and walked away, an involuntary moan escaping my lips when I felt his cock slip from me. I was so exhausted I had to place my palms against the bar, using it to hold myself upright, my legs still too wobbly to carry my weight.

I could hear him moving behind me but I didn't have enough strength to find out what he was doing. A few moments later, I felt a warm washcloth run over my backside, gently cleansing away the lube and sweat. Once he finished, he turned me to face him, taking the rag and cleaning my front, wiping away the mixture of cum and lube that covered me.

I looked up at him and smiled. After tossing the towel onto the bathroom floor, he leaned down for a small, soft, chaste kiss on the lips before whispering, "Thank you."

I managed a breathless, "No, thank you," before stumbling my way to the bedroom, almost laughing at how the bed had never once been touched through the entire night. The last thing I remember was pulling the blanket up to my waist, covering my still bare lower half and falling back against the mountain of pillows. I didn't even hear him leave.

The loud shrill of the telephone pulled me from my sleep and I realized then that it was the wake up call I had requested when I had first arrived. That meant it was already six in the morning. Quickly answering and telling the desk clerk 'thank you', I collapsed back on the bed, realizing that Jacob was no where to be seen, lazily stroking my morning wood as the previous night came rushing back.

My entire body was sore. My legs from being bent and angled in so many different positions, my arms from bracing myself, using all of my strength to keep my body still for him, my back from being arched in pleasure for so long, and my ass from...well, obvious reasons.

I had been thoroughly and properly fucked.

And I couldn't wait to have it again.

_Maybe Seattle won't be so bad after all. _

With a soft cry, I came all over my hand as I remembered how he felt inside me and the filthy things he whispered in my ear.

Once my high subsided, I made a mental note to send Emmett on a nice long paid vacation.

"**~~**"

Thank you for reading~

The Slash Awards are up and taking nominations at http:/ /theslashawards. blogspot .com/?zx=2dc81f2185a8c282 (remove spaces)


	3. We're Not in Kansas Anymore

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-First, thank YOU to everyone that has read and reviewed, we are beyond thrilled that this story has been so well received.

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

More A/N at the end.

We're not in Kansas anymore…

"**~~**"

Jpov

Three weeks had passed since my first official night as a paid escort.

Overall, it had been a pretty fucking amazing three weeks walking down the yellow brick road on my way to Oz. I had seen some pretty fucked up things along the way, perhaps no dancing scarecrows or rusted tin men, but definitely some weird shit. However, as I sat on my leather couch syncing my Blackberry calendar with my laptop, I had to say the fucked up things were pretty fucking worth it.

I had worked five out of seven nights, spending my days sleeping until eight in the morning, hitting the gym after a quick breakfast and then preparing for the night ahead. One of my days had been spent at a photography studio to have pictures taken for the company's website. They had directed me in various stages of undress. I may have fucked for money but I had never felt more exposed than I did standing there shirtless with my jeans down around my hips and a hint of my treasure trail showing, even worse, in just my underwear as I lay sprawled across a bed. The photographer kept telling me I was a natural, something about the camera loving me.

I had taken advantage of all the amities that had come with the job, even hitting the salon for a manicure, pedicure, and facial. Never had I felt so indulgent as I had laying in the salon in a fluffy robe with warm towels on my face and cucumber slices on my eyes while someone massaged my hands.

It was quite the fucking life and something I was definitely getting used to.

Not only had I been pampered at a spa, I had even gone to be fitted for a few more suits and a tuxedo. Tayna required all her escorts keep a tux on hand for those black tie affairs we might be requested to attend.

Honestly, the thought of attending something so high class scared the shit out of me, so I had begun to brush up on my current events, watching the news daily and surfing online news sites. The last thing I wanted to do was get caught looking like an idiot in a conversation.

I had even been curious enough to Google Armani. Come to find out, she wasn't a she at all. Curiosity struck and I checked out a few other designers too, making note that I wanted to look for a few Ralph Lauren suits and some John Varvatos pieces for my less dressy nights. He had one pea coat I had fallen in love with.

Surfing the web for designer clothes was a far cry from standing on the street corner in stained jeans and tee shirt, neither of which had been washed in weeks. Doing laundry had been pretty fucking low on my priority list.

Staying alive had always been my number one.

Some of my so-called friends didn't even have staying alive in their top three, it was somewhere between getting a cup of coffee and washing their hair. To those fucked up people, their priority _was _getting fucked up, getting their next fix so that for a few hours they could float through their shitty lives in a hazy drug induced high. They used it to numb themselves, forget the fact they were getting fucked or blown for cash that they would have to turn around and give to their pimp or spend for more drugs.

It was one vicious fucked up circle.

I had seen enough tragic Lifetime movie of the week endings to keep me off the shit. Never touched it, never even fucking tried any of it.

And God knows I had had plenty of opportunity. Drugs were as easy to get as an STD. Dealers were plentiful on every street corner. Standing there, watching for their next victim with greasy hair and strung out eyes to stumble up to them, begging for a quick fix, always promising to pay them the next day.

And if they didn't pay cash the next day, the dealers made sure they paid in some other way, whether it be raping or breaking their already abused bodies or worse, cutting off their drug supply.

I definitely had shit in my past I wanted to forget, but I wasn't about to fry my brain cells off one by one to do it. Instead, I just shut that shit away in the dark recesses of my mind, and hope that each time I lay my head down at night, those memories didn't decide to travel through my nightmares waking me up in cold sweat. Luckily, my nightmares had been non-existent recently, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they reemerged.

However, I sure as fuck wasn't going to use drugs to prevent them. I had been on the street a little less than two years, and it had definitely taken its toll on me and my body. I had lost weight, my muscle tone wasn't nearly what it had been as a teenager, and my personal hygiene had been marginal at best. I kept clean enough to not totally disgust those that were sticking their dick in my ass.

Then again, most didn't care anyway. As long as the hole was tight, or the mouth could suck, they could care less about the rest.

Yet, there I sat, freshly plucked off the streets by a red headed guardian angel who had seen some potential in me, and I guess she had been right. Since starting, I had worked consistently, had no complaints, a few rave reviews and two had even requested my presence again.

I had also had the chance to meet some rather interesting people. So far, I had been to three fundraisers, two dinner parties, five traveling business men hotel rendezvous, and one family reunion.

That one had been strange.

A girl in her mid-twenties was in Seattle for a family reunion, and had apparently told her parents she had met someone and was bringing him home. The guy she had asked to be her 'date' had fallen through and at the last minute a friend of hers had suggested Tayna's service. After surfing our website, she had picked me. Next thing I know, I was standing on a porch dressed in my khakis and J. Crew sweater being introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Webber. They shook my hand and invited us into their large home. Angela, my client, had been nervous, constantly fidgeting with her hands and stammering to get her words out. Shaking my head, I had come up behind her, wrapping my arms around her small waist and kissed her neck before whispering in her ear.

"You can do this, they won't ever know. Just follow my lead, trust me, okay?"

She nodded and took a deep breath. Feeling her relax against my chest, I took a quick glance at our surroundings. Normally, I would have been eyeing for possible weapons, but in that upper class home, I was looking for the easiest subject to break the ice with, the one that would get us 'in' with the crowd.

Standing up straight, I took her hand and led her over to the older couple sitting on the couch by the window. As we walked over I leaned down to her.

"Who are they?" I asked nodding to the gray haired man and woman.

"My grandparents, Hazel and Oliver," she answered shyly, clasping my hand with an iron grip.

_What the fuck kind of names were those?_

Reaching Hazel and Oliver, I stuck out my hand. "Hazel and Oliver, how wonderful to finally meet you," I greeted, giving them a flashy smile. "Angela has told me so much about you."

Oliver shook my hand and smiled up at me. "And you are?"

"Jasper, Angela's boyfriend."

Hazel's eyes practically wept at the 'B' word, and I swear I saw the wedding dress choices flash through her head before she collected herself.

"So pleased to meet you, Jasper," she sighed happily. "Well what do you know, Angela _finally_ found a boyfriend!"

_Finally? Jesus, she was only twenty-five, give her fucking break. _

Did all families put their daughters through so much shit? Being a girl sucked more than I had realized.

"Technically, I found her. Spotted her riding the bus, and it was love at first sight," I said, bringing our joined hands up for a kiss. She smiled at me nervously but then looked at her grandparents with confidence.

"He walked onto the bus and into my heart." They appropriately melted at her words, letting out a 'aw, how sweet' before drilling me, and not in the way I was used to being drilled.

"So Jasper, what do you do?"

Tempted to tell them I fucked people for money just to see their reactions, I chuckled before filling their dreams with the perfect career. "I will be graduating pre-med in the spring, then on to med school."

"Oh a doctor, how wonderful! What are you concentrating in?"

_Proctology._

"Pediatrics. It has always been my dream to help children."

Another round of 'awwws' and Angela was beaming, leaning her body against me, her arms wrapped around my waist.

Another satisfied customer and I hadn't even taken out my cock.

For the coup de grace, I later had kissed Angela passionately on the porch as her parents peeked at us through the blinds. We had gone out there to regroup, but when I realized they were watching us, I had leaned down and murmured my intentions in her ear. She had been all too willingly to comply and I saw her mother practically weep from joy as I pulled away and leaned my forehead to hers.

I was so fucking good.

After several hours of schmoozing with the cliental, I had made sure that Angela had gone from the daughter most expected to become an old maid with twenty cats to their golden child. By the time we had left with invitations to brunch and summer bar-b-ques, they were eating out of her hand.

As we walked to the car, Aro opened the door and Angela and I climbed in the back seat. Angela had expected to drive, but Tayna had explained her policy of my driver going everywhere I went for safety reasons. That had made me chuckle. As if Aro could prevent anything bad from happening to me. It had been arranged that we would pick Angela up on the way to her parents.

As we settled in to the comfortable seat, she leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked, a bit confused as we were no longer in the company of any prying eyes.

"Just a thank you," she whispered shyly, biting her lip. She was pretty in a plain girl-next-door kind of way. Even with long brown hair in a messy bun, baggy clothes and barely any makeup, the potential was there.

"You're welcome, it was my pleasure," I smiled, kissing her hair as she leaned against my shoulder. Quietly, she had asked if I would accompany her to her high school reunion in three months. I told her to give Tayna a call to schedule it, but that I was willing to go.

The next night however, I had found myself in quite a different situation. Aro had picked me up at eight sharp and drove me to the suburbs. As I had looked out the window at the cookie cutter three story house, I sighed and did up my jacket, feeling a bit exposed underneath.

"Are you sure this it? This looks a little…."

"Brady bunch?" Aro chuckled, finishing my thought. We had developed a nice repertoire.

"Well, yes. Definitely not what I expected for the services requested."

"They come in all shapes," he said, getting out and walking to my door. I got out and fist bumped him, something we had begun to do after my second client with the company. "Enjoy yourself," he smirked, closing the door. I rolled my eyes and headed up the long brick walkway. Knocking on the door, I took a deep breath and popped a mint in my mouth.

The gentleman that had answered was about what I had expected, six inches shorter than me, and twenty pounds overweight, the hair that should have been on his head was on his chest. He wore nothing but a pair of plaid boxers.

He put a whole new twist on the term 'Keeping up with the Joneses'.

With a fake smile on my face, I held out my hand. "Mr. Jones, I'm Jasper."

I felt like a Christmas day ham put in front of a starving man as his eyes roamed hungrily up and down my body.

"Do you have what I requested?"

_I am well, thank you for asking, asshole_.

Nodding, I walked into the foyer and was directed to a room near the back of the house. It was furnished with expensive well crafted furniture and Oriental rugs covered shiny hardwood floors. Walking through, I glanced around at the exits and possible weapons. Tayna always made sure that we were walking into the safest situations possible, but if matters fell into my own hands, I wanted to be the one that walked out alive.

He had led me into an office of sorts where all but one piece of furniture had been pushed against the walls. In the middle of the room sat a wicker couch without a back with a small white cloth on it. Next to the couch was a small table with a bowl of grapes on it. As he reclined on the couch and rested against of the arms, he motioned to my jacket.

"Take it off."

I didn't mind his eagerness, I wanted to get it over with, but he could have been a little nicer about it. While I undid the buttons of my jacket, he pulled his boxers down, letting his small erection free. I chuckled, remembering Aro's comment of they come in different shapes…and sizes apparently.

Turning, I hung my jacket on the coat rack by the door and turned to face him. I had never felt more embarrassed than I did then.

Dressed in nothing more than a silk white toga, I walked over to him and knelt beside him.

"How may I serve you, my Master?" I asked, bowing my head like the good servant I was pretending to be.

Smiling, he had run a hand through my hair and I had to stop from gagging at his touch. "Feed me those grapes," he said, pointing to the bowl on the table. "One by one."

Picking up the bowl, I saw all the grapes and realized I was going to be there all fucking night. With a sigh, I held a grape up to his dry lips and watched with pretend interest as he took them into his mouth.

I hoped like fuck he didn't want to blow me because the thought of those lips around my cock made me ill, to say nothing of limp as hell.

Three hours, one blow job and finger fucking later, I left. Aro stood by the car's door watching me walk toward him, my toga visible under my open coat. As I reached the car, he was about to speak, but I stopped him.

"Don't ask," I demanded, getting into the back seat. Aro got in and started the car.

"Sir, may I ask just one question?" he requested politely.

"Fine," I sighed, leaning my head against the seat.

"Where did you put your Blackberry in that thing?" he laughed.

I glared at him in the rearview mirror. I shook my head and smiled as I looked away. "Home, please."

I had been pretty damn happy go get home and into the shower. Of all the perks that came with the job, I think I liked having anytime access to a shower the most. Being able to wash away the daily grime that was a hazard of my work was an amazingly simple, but an incredible privilege that I appreciated every time I stepped under the hot spray.

Sighing, I stretched, working out the kinks in my body. When I heard the knock on my door, I muted my iHome and put the laptop down on the coffee table. Swinging the door open, my eyes grew wide.

"How the fuck did you find me?" I frowned.

"Nice to see you to, fucker," he laughed but when I didn't open the door wide, he turned serious. "Are you going to let me in, asshole?"

With a sigh, I stepped aside and motioned for him to enter. As soon as he whistled when he looked around, I knew I had made a big mistake. He hadn't changed much in the weeks I been gone. His black hair was a bit longer but still stringy, reaching just past his unshaven chin. The bloodshot brown eyes were a sign he hadn't slept in a few days and was beginning to come down from the high he had been on. In baggy jeans, boots and a sweatshirt, he was dressed in the same clothes I had last seen him in, and the smell coming off him confirmed they hadn't been washed.

I wondered if I should light one of my scented candles.

I stood there in my bare feet while he walked around my living room, touching almost everything with interest, his mind calculating how much he could get for the electronics alone.

"Don't even think about it," I warned, crossing my arms over my chest. He looked at me and held his hands up in an innocent gesture. Continuing, he worked his way around the living room, his dirty fingers leaving prints all over my polished wood and stainless steel. Finally, he went to the couch, plopping down on it and putting his feet up on my glass table top.

"You got any beer?" he asked, shining an apple he had grabbed from my fruit bowl.

"Get your fucking feet off my table," I scolded, walking to the kitchen. Legally, there shouldn't have been any beer in my refrigerator, but after a few particularly strange and stressful clients, I had dared to ask Aro to pick some up for me on our way home. He hadn't hesitated, pulling into a store and coming up with a variety of six packs for me.

I had the upmost respect for the guy…and his taste in beer.

I pulled a beer from the fridge, thought for a second and pulled a second one out for me. After popping the caps, I returned the couch and sat down next to him, handing him the beer. His feet were still on my table. Eyeing the beer warily, he took a sip.

"What is this shit?"

"Amber Bock" I answered nonchalantly.

"What the hell is wrong with Budwiser, since when you do like the imported shit?"

"It's not imported, you ass." I took a long drink, my eyes scanning my own place for weapons. Not only what I could use against him, but what he had already planned to use against me. I didn't want to pussy foot around. "Now, how did you find me, and why the fuck are you here, Riley?"

"What, no hugs for your long lost friend?"

"Friend?" I scoffed. "Since when?"

He considered for a moment. "Okay, you got me there, but trust me, after today, you will think of me as your friend." He took a sip of the beer, letting his statement sink in.

"So?" I encouraged before whacking his legs with my hand. "And get your fucking feet off my table."

He finally complied, leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees, fondling his beer. After a sip, he exhaled and began. "I had heard a rumor that you were off the streets, after a few days of asking around, someone had seen a guy they thought might be you coming and going from this building. I might or might not have waited outside for a few days, watching you. Pretty fucking nice set up you have going on here. A fucking car and driver? Where the fuck are you morals?"

That question had me laughing. "Like you are the one to talk about morals," I said, shaking my head. He raised an eyebrow at me, leaning back and putting an arm along the back of my couch. "An opportunity came up, I took advantage of it."

"What are you dealing and can I get in on it?" he asked, assuming wrongly.

Sighing, I leaned back as well. Even though I gave off the air of being completely relaxed, my muscles were coiled, ready to jump at the slightest movement. "I'm not dealing anything. It was a different kind of opportunity."

No need to tell him anymore than absolutely necessary. Taking in the changes in my appearance for the first time, he was unsure what to make of them. Sticking out a dirty finger, he ran it down my cheek and traced my lips before weaving his entire hand through my hair. "You clean up good, Jasper. You always were a sexy fuck."

Closing my eyes, I let him touch me. It was easy with him. We had fucked a few times, but he wasn't my friend or my lover or even my fuck buddy, but he had been there for me, and it was only fair to be there for him in return. Slowly, he leaned forward and placed an open mouth kiss on my lips as I sat motionless. When his other hand gradually moved up my thigh, I caught his wrist and stopped him.

Ignoring my rebuff, he pulled away willingly and took another sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving mine.

"So what, you got a sugar daddy?" he joked, gulping his beer. I could see his fingers trembling in effort to hold the bottle steady as he drank from it. For a second, I actually pitied him.

"No, nothing like that." I debated being more forthcoming and thought no harm in being partially honest. "I got a job," I said proudly, even a bit defiantly. His laughter irked me more than it should have.

"Yeah, and I'm the queen of England," he giggled nervously.

"Elizabeth."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"The Queen of England, it's Queen Elizabeth."

"I don't give a fuck what her name is." He leaned forward again, watching me the entire time. "Good thing you got yourself a job though because I have a message for you."

I swallowed at his tone. Riley was not one to sugarcoat anything, he had been a great ally on the streets, often high enough to take on more than he could handle, and his eagerness for a fight had saved my ass more than once. We may not have been friends, but there was a definite respect between us, and I had to honor that and take his words with the same seriousness he was giving them.

Not speaking, I waited for him to continue, to drop the bomb I knew was coming.

"James is looking for you, he wants his money."

It was pretty much what I had suspected. Actually, I had been lucky to go three weeks before someone had showed up on my doorstep. Instantly, I put on the mask that I had worn for so many years.

"I don't fucking owe James shit. I was paid up when I left," I explained, my voice deepening as I let some anger flow through me.

"Yeah, well that's not what he says, and you know the number one rule on the street," he reminded me casually.

"Stay alive."

He shook his head and put his beer on my table. "The pimp is always right."

"Well, not in this case, when I left, I hadn't had any clients all day. I had already given him all my take from the night before."

"Clients?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Jesus, Jasper, what the fuck has gotten into you?"

I refused to be ashamed of who I had become. Sure, I fucked for money, a lot of money, but I was good at my job and was finally enjoying some benefits for all the shit I had dealt with over the years.

Ignoring his jab, I steeled my eyes on him. "How much does he say I owe him?"

"Got another beer?" he asked, finishing off the first. At first I was going to tell him to help himself, but then realized he would probably pilfer anything not nailed down in my kitchen. With a sigh, I stood and went the kitchen, warning him not to touch anything while I was gone.

I came back with two more beers and found him on my laptop. Silently kicking my ass for not having closed my calendar, he was reading the names of my upcoming clients. "What the fuck are you doing?"

He glanced up at me and took his beer. "Who the fuck are all these people?" he asked pointing to the screen.

Ignoring his question, I asked one of my own "Now tell me, how much does he think I owe him?" I reached over and closed the laptop before sitting down again.

"Ten grand," he informed me simply, tossing out the amount as easily as some might say ten bucks.

"Excuse me? No fucking way," I rebutted, shaking my head.

"'Fraid so, Jasper." He shrugged, taking a long drink of his beer.

"And how exactly did he come to settle on that amount?"

"Settle on that amount," he repeated. Frustrated, I put my beer down and leaned toward him.

"Shut the fuck up and just tell me," I practically growled.

He sized my anger up, and I am sure the same things were going through his mind that had already gone through mine. Who would move first, did he have a gun, and who would walk away.

Overall, I had no desire to fight, I was not a confrontational person, but the shit I had seen, and survived, meant that sometimes you had to be ready throw a punch, or in many cases, take one.

You just hoped each one wouldn't be your last.

You lived with the fight or flight instinct running thick through your blood.

It was simply a necessity.

He visibly relaxed, his high releasing him from its tense grip on his nerves. Sensing him ease, I did the same, leaning back against the couch, my arm on its back with my beer in my hand.

"Apparently, he thinks you and he had some sort of an agreement, a verbal contract of sorts." He seemed proud at his use of the term as he smiled and took another drink. "You breached the contract and now he wants those potential earnings."

"Verbal contract? Breached the contract? Potential earnings?" I almost laughed. "You been watching Law and Order or something?"

He looked at me confused, before shrugging. "I don't know what that is, but I can tell you that he told me that each day he doesn't have his money, there's interest added."

Rolling my eyes, I appeared unfazed, not wanting any worry to show. Deep down, I was unnerved, not scared, but definitely wary, especially now that Riley knew where I lived.

"How much interest?"

"That I don't know," he admitted, finishing his second beer. "I'm just the messenger."

Yeah, right.

"Bullshit. Like you're not going to run right back to him and tell him where I am," I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

"You'd think I'm gonna do that?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, and he shrugged, chuckling. "I swear, I won't tell him where you live, if you give me something to bring back to him."

"Like?"

"An arrangement," he offered. "Like when you'll have his money."

"Fuck, you know I can't come up with ten grand right away."

Looking around my apartment, his eyes fell on my television and other various electronics. "Oh, something tells me it won't be that difficult for you."

I certainly wasn't about to tell him that this shit wasn't mine, it was on borrowed time. As long as my cock kept people happy, I got to keep living in Oz. I just had to prevent the bad witch, or in my case, James, from fucking it all up.

"I'll see what I can do. Tell him I will be in touch. I certainly know where to find him," I stood up, motioning to the door.

"You want me to leave?" he asked incredulously.

_Yes, you stupid fuck._

"Yes."

"Fine," he huffed, standing up. "Before I go, you…ah…." he began, shifting back and forth on his feet. Trying to avoid my eyes, he embarrassingly looked everywhere but at me. "Got any money I can borrow?" When I glanced away, he amended his request. "Just a few bucks for some food?"

Walking over to my desk, I opened the drawer and took out an envelope, pulling out a few twenties. He was standing by the door when I turned around. As I opened the door, I handed him the money.

"For food, not drugs," I instructed, knowing he wouldn't listen. Nodding he took the money, shoving it deep in his jeans pocket. Learning forward, he kissed me again, his hand resting lightly on my hips as he pulled me closer. When he parted his lips in an invitation, I back away.

His hands fell to his sides.

"Thanks, man," he said quietly, even a bit gratefully. He turned and walked through the door, which I closed tightly and locked behind him, making a mental note to have the locks changed, and another one added.

With sigh, I leaned against the door. I had no time to consider my options; I had a client to prepare for.

Three hours later, I stood in front of my mirror, clean shaven and my hair still damp from my shower. As I slid my shirt on and began to button it up, I thought about the first time I had worn Armani, how uncomfortable and nervous I had been. Quickly, I did up my gray tie and grabbed my jacket, phone and headed for the door.

In the elevator, my phone beeped, reminding me of my appointment. Glancing at the name, I smiled and put it back in my pocket. As I walked through the lobby, I put my jacket on, buttoning it up as I headed for the door.

"Good evening, Aiden" I said to the doorman as he held the door for me.

"Good evening, Mr. Whitlock." He tipped his hat as I passed by.

Aro was in his spot, and I smiled as I walked toward him, my eyes scanning the sidewalks for Riley, or worse, James. He opened my door and I got in, relaxing a bit once I was behind the tinted windows.

"Have a good day, sir?" he asked climbing in behind the wheel.

_Fuck no_.

"Yes, very relaxing, thank you," I lied, looking out the window. I paid no attention the drive, my mind instead wondering to what the fuck I was going to do about James. While I wanted to tell him to fuck off, he was a bastard that could cause some serious problems. As much as I didn't want to, I really saw no other way out other than to give him the money. I had reached Oz and had been prettied up by its people, now I was living the life.

No fucking way I wanted to give it up and go back to Kansas.

Yet, I feared as soon as I paid him, he would find something else to hold over me…more money or worse. I had no one to turn to. It was a problem I was going to have to solve myself.

So what else was new?

"Sir?"

I jumped at his voice. "Yes?" He pointed out the window. "I said, we're here."

Glancing around, I realized we had arrived and I waited for him to get the door. "Everything okay, Sir?" he asked as I got out doing up my jacket and looking up at the Renaissance Hotel.

""Yes, sorry, just a bit tired," I answered, giving him a fake smile. He accepted it, even though he knew otherwise. I held my fist out.

Bumping it, he wished me a good evening.

Entering the lobby, I walked by the familiar stares of the desk clerks and headed for the bar, where I was supposed to meet my client. Walking into the bar, I felt their eyes on me.

The balding gentlemen to my left in the suit

The two women to my right in tight dresses and heels with the ticking biological clocks.

The hot, young guy in the white tee shirt by the door.

Giving them all a courtesy glances, I gave them each hope that I could possibly be there for any of them, that any of them had the chance to take me home that night. It was part of my job, always give everyone hope and leave them wanting more.

The hot, young guy by the door was dressed in a tight white tee shirt and worn jeans, his long ebony hair was tied at the nape of his neck and dark brown eyes were fringed with thick lashes. He appeared to be Native American and looked vaguely familiar. Nursing his beer, he tipped the top of it to me and winked when I caught his eye. Smirking, I returned his wink and considered giving him my number.

"Someone caught your eye, gorgeous? Should I be jealous?"

"There's only one in here that's caught my eye," I assured him.

He hadn't changed, he was still sexy as fuck.

The smooth material of his gray suit covered his built shoulders. Under his jacket he wore a matching gray shirt and tie. As I slowly dragged my eyes from his body to his face, I felt myself blush as I realized his sparkling aqua eyes were giving me the same appreciation.

We stood like that for a moment, letting the spark between us reignite. I could practically feel the flames licking my ankles, slowly crawling up my legs to my cock with every second that passed. My fingers literally twitched as I denied their desire to touch his black hair and feel the scruff on his strong jaw.

I wanted to feel that scruff in the most intimate places.

I saw it affecting him just as much when his eyes widened as I licked my lips.

"You look very handsome, Jasper," he complimented, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Thank you, so do you, Peter," I returned. "Can I get you a drink?" I motioned to the bar. Instead of replying, he watched me before smirking. Lightly he ran his hand down my arm, stopping at my wrist for a second before tracing my hand with his fingers. He leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"I would much rather take you upstairs," he offered.

Who was I to refuse? After all, he was the client.

Nodding, I waited for him to drop a twenty on the bar top and we headed for the door with Peter a step ahead of me. When I passed the hot guy by the door, I gave him a long glance and sympathetic smile as I shrugged.

_Maybe next time, Kemosabe. _

When I entered suite three I felt an odd sense of comfort wash over me, a bit like visiting an old friend. Walking in that time had been much different than the first time. Long gone were the butterflies that had fluttered in my stomach all night. They had been replaced by the slow burn of desire, a physical awareness that I had never felt before. Not only was he aware of his body and his needs, but he had a keenness for what I yearned for as well.

No one before him had treated me with the same respect, nor had they been able to propel me to that ecstasy that Peter had…three times.

He shut the door after hanging the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the handle. Turning to me, he walked over and took my lapel between his fingers. At the slight touch, my heart raced, and he wasn't even touching my skin yet.

"This color looks fantastic on you," he murmured, pulling me to him as he began to kiss my neck, using one hand to loosen my tie.

Trying hard to focus, I barely got out my words. "Thanks…it's…Armani." The last word came out in a gasp as his tongue swirled around my ear.

"Mmmm, remind me to send Giorgio a thank you note," he mumbled against my skin. Tilting my head back, I gave him access as he slid the tie from around my neck and began to undo the buttons of my shirt.

The man wasted no time.

Pulling away, he continued with my shirt. "However, it would look even better…." He didn't finish but instead began kissing the exposed skin of my chest.

"Yes…." I sighed half in encouragement to his statement and half fucking begging him to continue. Although admittedly I was a bit hurt he thought the suit could be improved.

"Off you…."

_Fuck, yes it would._

With my shirt undone, he pushed the fabric aside and took my nipple in his mouth. The groan that escaped me could probably be heard two rooms away. I felt his lips smile against me as I arched my back and offered myself to him. Sliding his hands under my shirt, he pushed my coat and shirt off my shoulders and down my arms, letting them fall to the floor.

Last time he had directed me to strip for him, and I wondered if he wanted the same again. With much effort, I brought my hands to my belt but he was faster and his fingers were already there.

"Let me do it this time," he directed me, pulling my hands from my buckle. My breaths quickened as he undid the belt and pushed the button through the hole. Before undoing my zipper, his let the back of his hand graze teasingly over my throbbing erection. "Does that feel good?"

Words did not seem like an appropriate response, they would have come out pleading anyway. Instead, watching him I bit my bottom lip and nodded. Slowly, he went to his knees before me and took my zipper between his teeth.

_Oh, fuck_.

As he lowered it, my knees weakened and I felt his hands move up to my ass, supporting me as I swayed.

Fuck, the things that man could do to me.

The hands on my ass slid under my pants and he let them fall down around my ankles before I toed off my shoes and stepped out of them. Once again I found myself standing before him in nothing but my underwear.

"Fuck…." I groaned as he nuzzled my contained erection with his nose. Kissing it through my tight briefs, he grabbed the elastic waistband between his fingers and slowly slid them down enough to free the tip of my cock.

When his silky, moist tongue licked along the ridge of the head I thought I might faint. Both of my hands automatically went to his hair, lighting threading through the soft black locks. As he gradually lowered my underwear, he kissed every newly freed inch of my cock before taking me completely into his mouth. Instinctively, my hips bucked, seeking out the depths of his throat.

With one hand on my ass his other held my hip, his thumb circling as his lips slid up and down my cock in a steady rhythm. As I watched him through half closed eyes, I realized he hadn't even taken off his jacket yet. For some reason that made my heart race, to know he wanted me so desperately that he couldn't even take the time to undress.

When he moaned around me and the vibration sent my hips thrusting forward, my grip on his hair tightened. The sounds he was making, the feel of his lips on me, and the scent of him all contributed to a lightheadedness I was getting used to having when I was near him.

Releasing me, he stood up and began kissing me. It was our first kiss since I had arrived. In fact, his lips had been around my cock before they were on my mouth. Parting my lips with his tongue, he let me explore his mouth and sample my musky taste on him as his hand stroked my cock between us. Between his mouth and his hand, I was already sitting on the edge of orgasm and began to think of ways to slow down before I embarrassed myself.

After all, I was a professional.

But right then, as my breaths came in gasps and my body trembled in excitement, I felt like a fucking fifteen year old boy with his first boyfriend. Finally, he pulled away from our kiss and released my cock. Quickly he began to undo his tie while my hands went to his shirt to help speed up the process.

I needed him naked.

Once his shirt was undone, he slid it off along with his jacket, laying them over the arm of the chair. It did not escape me that he had tossed his tie on the bed before slipping his pants and shoes off. Finally he stood before me naked.

I let my eyes roam up and down his body, the muscles under his tan skin rippling with each movement, the "V" of his hips was deep and cut, his cock hard and long and thick.

Feeling his fingers on my lips, I brought my eyes back up to his.

"I think you're drooling," he said jokingly as his thumb stroked my bottom lip. Opening my mouth, I let my tongue twirl around his thumb before sucking it in. Aqua eyes widened and he groaned before removing his finger and taking my hand. "Jasper, do you trust me?"

I didn't trust anyone.

"Yes."

"Good, because I need you trust me tonight. I want to try something with you, something I have been thinking about for a few weeks now. Are you willing?"

It was my job to give the client whatever they wanted, from impressing grandparents to hand-feeding grapes; it was no different with Peter.

Well actually, it was different. With Peter, I _wanted_ to be there, I wanted to please him, even if it meant doing things that made me uncomfortable. I wasn't with Peter for the money, I would have let him fuck me for free, the fact that I was paid to be there was a bonus.

He led me to the bed, instructing me to lie on my back. I did as told and watched with anticipation as he straddled my hips, his ass teasingly sitting right in front of my cock, his weight easily pressing me into the mattress. Leaning to his left, he grabbed his tie and then looked back at me.

With a smirk, he raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

Being held down against my will was something had happened to me too many times to relive, those were memories I would never forget, and a fear that would never die. He must have seen the hesitation in my eyes because he dropped the tie and stroked my cheek with his fingers.

"Jasper, I don't know what kind of history you have, but you can trust me. I won't hurt you, I swear."

He was honest with me; he deserved the same in return. "It's not the hurting I am afraid of. It's…."

"What?" he encouraged, his hand moving to my hair.

Sighing, I turned my head to the side, avoiding his eyes. "It's being vulnerable like that, being confined."

"Being vulnerable is the part of the pleasure, Jasper. I think it is something you might enjoy." He thought for a moment while his fingers drew circles around my nipples, very much reminding me how hard I was. "How about we use a safe word?"

I turned back to him and raised an eyebrow. "Safe word?"

"Yes, choose a word, and if we get to a point where you are uncomfortable for any reason, you say the word and we stop immediately. Does that sound acceptable?"

After brief consideration, I nodded. While I knew I would never completely trust anyone, no one deserved my trust; I did have faith that he would keep his word. I was secure in the knowledge that he would stop whatever we were doing as soon as I spoke the safe word.

"Thank you," he smiled. "Now what do you want for your safe word?"

I took no time in answering. "Oz." Tilting his head, he thought about my answer, although I'm sure he thought my connection to the "Wizard of Oz" was a bit different than it really was.

Smirking, he grabbed the tie again. "Oz it is." He reached down to my hands that were resting on his thighs. Taking one, he directed it over my head before doing the same with the other. "Keep them there," he said firmly.

Again, I did as told and watched with trepidation as he took his silk tie and leaned over me. With his chest almost flush with mine, he began to tie my wrists to the headboard of the bed. While I couldn't see what he was going, I felt the smoothness of the tie as he looped it through a few times into what seemed to be a complicated, and rather tight, knot.

My erection had not waned in the time we talked, if anything it throbbed even more from the constant rubbing of his ass against it as he shifted his weight over me. Satisfied I was properly bound, he sat back on my hips and admired his work.

"Is it too tight at all?" he asked with a concerned voice as he began circling his hips into mine.

"It's good," I replied moving my wrists against the tie in effort to test the binding.

"Then let's begin." He smiled as he moved up my body, settling his knees on either side of my chest. When he rose to his knees, the head of his cock grazed my lips, leaving a trail of precum along them. He watched me through hooded eyes as my tongue darted out and swiped the salty fluid off my bottom lip. Moaning, he put a hand on his cock and stroked it a few times.

"Open," he commanded.

Perhaps it wasn't so bad after all.

Without hesitation, I opened and he guided the head of his cock into my mouth. Waiting for further instruction, I allowed my tongue to encircle it once.

"Suck me."

An eagerness I hadn't experienced in weeks rushed through me with his breathless words and I began to suck the head of his cock, my tongue constantly tracing the ridges as I hallowed out my cheeks.

"Fuck, yeah, boy, just like that," he groaned, lulling his head back. I answered each small thrust of his hips that pushed him deeper into my mouth with one of my own. My cocked ached to be touched, throbbing as it bobbed uselessly with each movement, searching for friction of any kind and finding none.

I fucking needed to be touched.

Leaning forward, he put his hands on the headboard behind my head for leverage and began to thrust more earnestly into my mouth, his cock sliding easily in and out as my lips constantly embraced him tightly.

Looking down at me, he reached down and caressed my cheek with his fingertips, his gentle touch a contrast to his words.

"You like it when I fuck your mouth, don't you, boy?"

Unable to speak, I barely nodded in response.

"Mmmm, I thought so. I fucking love seeing you tied up for me, your mouth around me," he practically growled as he picked up his pace. "Yeah, more…deeper," he demanded, pushing his hips forward and letting the head of his cock hit my throat. When I swallowed around him, he grunted, his parted lips exposing his clenched teeth.

As he fucked my mouth with wild abandon, my cock continued to go neglected. Painfully begging to be stroked, fluid leaked from the slit, slowly trailing down my erection until drizzling into my curls. Moaning around his cock, I pulled against the tie, wanting to free one hand so I could jack off.

Frustrated when my hands wouldn't budge, I looked at him and grunted.

He smiled down at me. "Feel good?"

When I nodded, he let loose a deep feral growl before slamming his cock into my mouth.

"Fuck yeah, boy."

By then, as he quickly neared his orgasm, my hips had begun to buck into the air wantonly. Taking sympathy on me, he kept his cock in my mouth, but reached back with one hand and grabbed the tip of my cock. Closing my eyes at the fucking sheer pleasure of finally being touched, I felt his cock twitch in my mouth and a second later he released my cock and cried out. Hot fluid shot down my throat as I swallowed quickly and repeatedly to drink it all. I watched as his face contorted in ecstasy with clenched eyes and snarling lips. Wave after wave hit him; his cock continuing to seek the depths of my mouth, his abdomen contracting with each ripple that flowed through him.

Exhaling loudly, he released the headboard and sat back on my chest, letting his softening cock slip out, a string of cum keeping him bound to my mouth.

"Fucking delicious, boy," he sighed, tracing my lips with his index finger, breaking the string that connected us. "You have the fucking sweetest mouth I've ever fucked."

I blushed at his compliment, wanting to relish and take pride in the moment, but my cock ached with need and limited any coherent thoughts.

I had never been so desperate to come as I was right then.

"You did that so well, I think you deserve the same treatment."

_Fuck, yes. _

With eager eyes I watched as he turned so that his ass was now facing me, his knees still at my sides. Looking over his shoulder at me with a glint in his eye, he gauged my reaction as he reached down and wrapped his fingers around my cock. I cried out as my hips reflexively thrust into his grip as he pumped me twice before bending over and taking me into his mouth. Pressing my head back into the pillows, I released a long groan, my body calling for the release he was teasing me with. His ass was only inches from my mouth and spread wide as he knelt over me. With tentative movements, I stuck my tongue out and let it circle his entrance. The vibrations his moan sent through my cock were almost enough to push me over the edge. Releasing me, he laid his cheek on my hip and I finally got to feel that abrasive scruff long the delicate skin of my thigh.

It felt as amazing as I had imagined it would.

"That feels so fucking good, please don't stop," he begged. Knowing he was enjoying it, I began to push my tongue further, letting it dip into his hole. I could see his cock begin to harden again between his legs. My neck muscles tensed as I kept my head off the pillow in order to reach him. The tie around my wrists became tighter as I strained against them in my effort to touch something, any fucking thing.

Taking me back into his mouth, he sucked hard and fast, his tongue working magic. Writhing beneath him, my body was completely at his mercy. I was unable to control the jerky movements I made as his tongue lapped up and down my length. Suddenly I felt one of his hands on my balls, rolling them in his palm with the same rhythm he sucked me with. When his middle finger entered my ass, I grunted against him and spread my legs as wide as possible and he added another finger.

I had had a fucking lot of sex, but nothing had ever felt so erotic, so decadent, and teasing as what he was doing then. I was bound, my hands unable to touch him or roam my own body no matter how much I desired to do so. My body was being held down by his weight, his fucking mouth tight around my dick, his fingers in me and my legs spread for him as my tongue was exploring his ass.

He had been right. The vulnerability added a new height to the pleasure, another level that went above and beyond anything I had experienced.

When the head of my cock hit the back of his throat, I felt him literally devour me, and with muffled cries against his ass, I came hard, my cock erupting into his mouth with bursts of hot cum. Bucking my hips up, I felt his fingers fucking me hard, hitting my prostate, enticing my orgasm to last longer. He continued to suck my highly sensitive skin until the tremors through my body had subsided to quivers. Releasing me with one long lick along my cock, he rested his head on my thigh as he caught his breath.

"Jesus, Jasper that was fucking…unbelievable," he panted.

"Fuck yes it was," I replied, my head dropping back against the down pillows again, my eyes closing as the burn in my body quieted. I felt him climb off me and his hands were undoing the tie. With great effort, I opened my eyes as he finished and rubbed the red marks on my wrists.

"You were really trying to get out, weren't you?"

Nodding, I blushed. "I really wanted to fucking touch myself."

"Did you like it?" he placed a kiss on each wrist before stretching his body down the length of mine. Reaching down, he pulled the sheet up to our waists and wrapped an arm around me.

"Very much," I finally answered as my body walked that fine line of post coital pleasure and sleep.

"That was a new you I saw downstairs. That wasn't the boy that walked into this room three weeks ago."

I looked away from his eyes and remained quiet. There was no doubt I had changed, but to hear someone else acknowledge it embarrassed me. It was like admitting I had needed to be changed, that I wasn't acceptable the way I was before.

"I like the new you, but remember who's in charge here," he smiled.

"As long as you remember who the professional is," I countered. He groaned and grabbed my chin, pulling me into a kiss. Feeling his erection pressing into my thigh, I snaked a hand between us and grazed it. "Hmmm feels like you are ready for round two."

Chuckling, he pushed into my hand forcefully once before pulling back. "You get some rest, we can have round two in a few hours. Remember, I have you for the night, and I am going to enjoy you many times, Jasper."

It was hard to argue with him, not only because he was the client, but because my body was quickly drifting into the fog of sleep. With his head resting on my shoulder, his fingertips circling my nipples, I let sleep claim me.

The sounds were faint at first, but as my mind began to clear, they became louder. They were close, sounding like skin on skin, and accompanied by heavy breathing. I was lying on my stomach, the sheet twisted around my legs, my ass exposed and my arms above my head under the pillows. Slowly, I pried my eyes open. Strands of my hair partially blocked my vision before I shook my head a bit and took in the sight before me.

"Fuck," I murmured. Lifting my head and licking my lips, I felt my erection pressing into the mattress.

Naked, Peter sat in one of the leather chairs, his legs relaxed and spread before him. As one of his hands furiously stroked his cock, the other teased his entrance, a finger darting in and out quickly. Through hooded lids, he watched me. His only reaction to me catching him was a smirk and soft moan.

He was masturbating to me sleeping.

Without a second thought, I kicked myself free of the sheet and got out of bed. My cock erect and already throbbing in front of me as I padded my way over to him.

"Go back to sleep, Jasper," he gasped as his hand slowed to a more languid pace. Standing between his spread knees, I looked down at him, a sliver of moonlight peeking through the window cut across his face, and his eyes gleamed in the pale blue hue.

Reaching down, I ran my fingers over his unshaven jaw and neck before bending over and whispering in his ear. "Don't worry about me, I'm a professional."

He released his cock and placed his hands on my hips, stopping my progression. "Yes, but I had plans for us later, you need rest."

I leaned back and looked directly into his eyes. "I can handle whatever you've got," I challenged. Not that I didn't appreciate his concern, and yes, I had become more pampered lately, but that didn't mean I couldn't handle all night activities anymore. "Besides, I slept already."

"Less than two hours." He laid his head back against the high back of the chair and I knew his resolve was crumbling.

He was ripe for the taking.

"Don't you want to fuck me?" I whispered in his ear before reaching down to the floor to retrieve my jacket.

"Fuck, yes."

Pulling the lube and a condom out of a pocket, I ripped the condom open with my teeth and rolled it down his length before slathering it with lube. He jumped at my touch, his overly sensitive cock twitching as my fingers pressed against it. At that moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to feel him inside me, to feel him lose that guarded control he held on to so well. Once he was sheathed, I stepped out from between his legs and pushed them together so I could straddle his thighs.

His hands gripped the cheeks of my ass, spreading me for him as I lowered myself onto his cock, letting his head enter me before pulling him out and letting him reenter. With my hands on his shoulders, I once again let his head push past my muscle before pulling him out, repeating the process several times. Each time he entered me a long hiss escaped through his clenched teeth.

"More, I need more please…more…more…." he moaned. Our eyes never once broke contact as I finally slid myself down his cock, letting him finally enter me completely. Once he was deep inside, and my ass sat on his thighs, I lulled my head back.

"Ugh," I groaned as the decadent feeling hit me again. With my cock bouncing between us, I pumped myself up and down his length, my hips circling each time he was deep inside me. Leaning forward, I kissed him, forcing his willing lips apart with my tongue, tasting him, tasting me on him. I felt his hands in my hair, pushing it back off my face as we kissed, our lips meeting again and again, each one more intense than the one before it. Gasping, I pulled away and leaned back, resting my hands on his knees, allowing his cock to penetrate me even deeper.

"That's it," he exhaled before biting down on his lip. With shaking fingers, I reached lower, grabbed his sac and rolled his balls in my hand. Suddenly I needed more, I needed harder. Sitting up straight, I put my hands on his shoulders, my knuckles turning white with my tight grip.

"Fuck me, Peter," I commanded. Obliging, his hands gripped my hips and began to slam me down on to him, his hips rising to meet each and every thrust of mine. Unable to stop the sensation when it started to build in my pelvis, I let out shredded cries.

"Yeah, let me fuck your tight ass, boy," he pleaded. Even without touch, my orgasm was approaching like a fucking freight train, ready to crash into me and send me propelling into the depths of a bliss I had rarely visited. Letting go of my hip, his left hand grabbed my cock and two strokes later, I was practically screaming, coming all over his stomach and hand, cum shooting in strong spurts from my slit as my muscles clenched with each powerful crest that washed over me.

As the last of my orgasm began to fade, leaving behind a satisfied full feeling, I realized he was sitting on the precipice of his own climax.

"That's it, fuck me hard. Fill me up with your cock, feels so good buried deep inside my ass. So fucking hot," I whispered in his ear before sucking on the tender skin of his neck. Seconds later, his cock was pulsing inside me, filling the condom as he continued to thrust, one hand on my hip the other on my shoulder keeping me tight to him as he came hard.

"FUCK!" he cried, his jaw tight and eyes clenched. With heavy breaths, he released his hold on me and laid his head back on the chair. I rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying that haze that once again began to surround my body, enveloping me in its welcome arms. "Jasper, you are going to be the death of me. That was so fucking…words can't describe."

Softly, I kissed his shoulder before pushing up and gingerly rising to my legs. My ass was sore from the pounding, and my thighs were tight from having kept the same positions for such a long time.

"I think it's shower time," he hinted as he slid the used condom off and tossed it in a nearby trashcan. Sweat covered both our bodies, and my cum dripped down his stomach as he stood.

"Definitely," I agreed, taking his hand and leading him into the dark bathroom. As he reached for the light, I stopped him. "No, in the dark."

His eyes twinkled as he nodded. While we waited for the shower to heat up, he stood behind me, his arms around my waist with his chest against my back. I could feel myself on him and it did nothing but excite me.

After stepping into the steaming shower, I turned in his arms and kissed him fiercely. I had a feeling round three wasn't too far away.

My hair was still damp and I still smelled of Peter's expensive body wash when I felt the head of condom covered cock push slowly into my lubed ass. I had been asleep only seconds before but honestly, I had no problem waking up like that.

Ever.

His legs were on either side of my thighs, his body pushing me into the mattress.

"I love fucking you," he moaned into my ear.

Didn't the man every fucking sleep?

Turning my head, I went to reach behind me to grab his hair and realized my hands were tied to the headboard with the tie.

He had tied me up while I was sleeping.

The excitement surged through me, every cell suddenly on a razor sharp edge as my body reacted instinctively. I thought I heard him chuckle as he continued to thrust into me. Mustering strength, I forced myself to my knees, my forehead pressed into the pillows, my hands gripping the rungs of the headboard. With my ass raised, he grunted loudly as he grabbed my hips and pounded into me, keeping himself buried deep inside me . My cock swayed side to side, slapping the inside of each of my thighs with his thrust.

It was pure debauchery.

And I was fucking high from it.

"Yeah, Peter….fuck…harder…harder please," I gasped.

"You're so fucking tight, boy…fucking tight," he exclaimed in a husky voice.

"Please…."

"Please what, boy?"

Didn't he know? I needed to be touched, I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust if I didn't get a release soon. It was almost embarrassing, how quickly he could bring me to climax. He loved making me edge, letting me sit on the cliff teasing about pushing me over forever before actually doing so.

"Touch me, make me come, please…I need to come."

Professional or not, I was begging.

"That's it…beg me."

"Please….please…." it came out as long groan. As I went to drop my ass again, hoping to find some relief by rubbing my cock against the bed, he reached around and grabbed it in both his hands. With one hand palming my head, his other stroked me with short, fast pumps.

"UGH!"

"That's it, let it out…tell me how it feels," he implored.

"You feel so good fucking my ass while you touch me."

Less than a minute later, cum exploded from my cock onto the Egyptian sheets below me.

"Yeah, that's it," he said almost excitedly as I pulsed in his hand, the last of my orgasm dripping from the tip of my cock. Completely spent, I collapsed onto the bed, smearing my cum into the sheets even more. Pushing against the headboard with what little strength I had left, I forced my ass up to meet his driving thrusts. He quickly followed, burying himself inside me with one last hard push. He grunted and fell on top of me, his teeth bore down on my shoulder, and he cried out into my flesh as he bit it. We fell asleep like that, his cock sliding from me as it softened, his body lying on top of mine, his warm breath brushing along the back of my neck with each exhale.

When I woke, I found myself on my back, Peter's head on my chest, his arm draped around my waist, his hair messed from our fucking, and his eyes closed in a restful sleep.

So he did sleep.

In the warm glow of the morning sun, I watched him rest. He was so powerful, physically and mentally, and yet, in sleep he was no more powerful than me. Lazily, I let my fingers trace the indents of the muscles in his back and shoulders, the dips and curves under this darkened flesh. He stirred and shifted his weight, the head of his morning erection caressing my hip.

"G'mornin'," I greeted.

"Good morning, Jasper," he returned, lifting his head to give me a soft kiss. "Sleep well?"

"Very well, thank you." He smiled at my words. "Can I ask you something?"

He raised any eyebrow at me. "I've told you before, you can ask whatever you want, and I will answer what I feel comfortable answering."

"How come you let me spend the night? Last time…."

He interrupted me. "A few reasons actually. First, I had no work to complete last night, so I was able to indulge in your presence a bit more. Second, I had decided that from now on, regardless of my work schedule, I want you so spend the night. Even if I work and you sleep. As I found out last night, watching you sleep can be quite entertaining. "

I blushed at the memory of waking up to find him stroking himself in the dark. His hand trailed over my hip and came to rest on my erection. "Third, if you hadn't spent the night, I wouldn't have a chance to relieve your morning wood like this."

Before I could react to his words, his mouth was on my cock, embracing it in the hot, moist heaven. Fisting the sheets in my hands, my back arched up, and my hips ground into his mouth.

Three hours later, I stood freshly showered by his door, with my tie loose around my neck, and my jacket in my hand. His hands were in my hair as we kissed goodbye, our moans mingling as our hips pressed into each other.

When he finally pulled away, he smiled. "I'm not waiting three weeks again. As soon as you walk out that door, I'm calling Tayna to set up next week."

"I'll be here," I promised as I gave him one last kiss before opening the door. "Bye, Peter."

"Bye, Jasper," he said quietly before closing the door behind me. As I walked toward the elevator, the soreness in my body that hadn't been massaged away from my hot shower reappeared. I pressed the down button and slid my arms through my jacket while I waited for the elevator to arrive.

My breath caught when the doors opened to reveal one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen. I walked in and turned, standing next to him.

"Lobby?" he asked me.

"Yes, thank you," I replied, my voice embarrassingly shaky. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him taking me in, my damp hair, undone tie, unshaven face, and wrinkled, untucked shirt. Trying not to be obvious, I stared straight ahead into the gold coated doors, but I was unable to keep my eyes from roaming over his reflection.

From his designer navy suit and matching wool overcoat to the cut of his hair, everything about him screamed money. He had the most unique hair color I had ever seen, the color of a penny on fire. The flaming locks were sticking up in almost every direction; apparently any attempt he had made to control them had been useless. My eyes lingered over his high cheekbones and strong, clean shaven jaw before finally reaching his eyes.

Fucking brilliant green eyes fringed with long, thick lashes were staring at my own reflection.

He was returning my admiration.

My overtired and overused cock twitched at his obvious attention. Only the twitch didn't stop with my cock, the feeling traveled throughout me, settling as butterflies in my stomach and a quickening beat in my heart.

Holding his gaze, I felt my own cheeks begin to heat from its intensity. I noticed a familiar look about him, the flush in his cheeks and the tired eyes that had a satisfied glint in them.

In my profession, you learn to read people pretty well and pretty fucking quickly. One has to know when to get the fuck out of Dodge. The gorgeous man next to me was pretty easy to read.

He had recently been very thoroughly fucked.

Just as I had.

Part of me couldn't help but wish it had been me that had given him the fuck of his life. Smirking, I nodded at him, acknowledging his open admiration of me. He responded with a pink that colored his alabaster cheeks before quickly looking away. Refusing to give up my stare, I kept my eyes on his reflection the entire ride, even being so brazen as to let my eyes wander down his body. Even under the layers of clothing, his body was tight, wide shoulders leading to a trim waist and what I was certain was a muscled abdomen. Loose, expensive custom cut pants fell perfectly over his hips and legs, but even the material couldn't cover up the fact he was well endowed.

Guys like him stay in shape.

Guys like him deserved to be fucked by professionals.

Images of how I could worship his cock, his entire fucking body, flooded me just as we reached the lobby and his sexy reflection disappeared as the doors slid into the wall. Once completely open, I motioned to him to exit before me, and he accepted my invitation and walked off the elevator.

I followed him through the lobby, slowing my speed as he walked up to the main desk where all the female clerks scrambled to wait on him.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Cullen?" the winning clerk offered, her cheeks crimson as she avoided direct eye contact with him. Behind her, three co-workers stood and watched in awe as he ran a hand through his hair.

He had them wrapped around his finger.

Glancing at his left hand, I sighed in relief when I saw no ring-not that it would have mattered anyway. It's not like being married ever stopped any of my other clients.

"Can you please have the bar in my suite cleaned and restocked today and the linens on my bed changed as well?" Holding his briefcase with one hand, he slid an envelope across the desk. "Can you also see that this gets sent out today?" He spoke to them in authoritative, confident tone.

"Of course, Mr. Cullen," she answered in a chirpy voice. With a curt thank you, he turned and caught me watching him. Instantly, the feeling from the elevator came back, an unfamiliar warm tingling sensation that shook me. Playing it cool on the outside, I gave him a small smile before heading for the door. On my way to my car, I glanced behind me and saw him standing at his car staring at me before he greeted his driver and got into the backseat. As his car pulled away, I swear I saw him wave to me from behind the dark tinted windows, a knowing smirk on his face.

"See something you like, sir?" Aro asked, smiling as he folded his morning paper.

"Just admiring the view, Aro," I joked as I climbed into the back seat and laid my head against the plush leather. After closing my door, he got behind the wheel and started the car.

"Did you have a good night, sir?"

_Fuck yeah. I had the fuck of my life and shot my load four fucking times. _

"Yes, thank you, it was more than enjoyable."

"Excellent to hear. You have an appointment at six tonight, shall I pick up at five, Sir?"

_An appointment_.

I almost laughed out loud.

"Yes, that sounds perfect," I answered, pulling out my Blackberry to check upcoming clients. As I opened my calendar, I saw that Tayna had forwarded a new calendar appointment for me for the next Saturday. I smiled when I saw the name.

_Peter Carlson, 7pm._

Fuck, the yellow brick road sure was a busy one.

"**~~**"

Thank you for reading!

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	4. A Few Good Men

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-First, thank YOU to everyone that has read and reviewed, we are beyond thrilled that this story has been so well received.

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

Huge thanks to Christie for her very quick turn around on this chapter. Also thanks to Jolene509 for her wonderful eagle eyes!

More A/N at the end.

Edward just needs a few good men…

"**~~**"

Epov~

Sitting at the hotel bar, I watched as the amber-colored liquid swished and swirled in my glass, the ice chunks clanking a little too loudly for the relaxed atmosphere. It was typically clichéd; dim lighting, a few candles placed sporadically to add a flickering glow, even a piano player in the corner who was so mediocre that I could have out-played him with my eyes closed.

And for being a four-star hotel, the whiskey was definitely not the best and I made a mental note to let management know that they needed an upgrade.

Even the people were clichéd: A woman, mid-thirties, too much makeup and dressed in too much lace, probably waiting for her twenty-something date in an attempt to gain her first "cougar" experience. Sipping a glass of what looked to be cheap champagne, she fidgeted and squirmed, her eyes darting back to the door just about every second.

A man, mid-to-late forties, dressed in a suit that had seen better days, overweight and underpaid, probably on a business trip for a company who underappreciated him. With one side of his shirt untucked and his tie loose around his neck, he threw back shots of bourbon, pointless attempts to try to block out his less than satisfactory life.

A woman, mid-twenties, leggy and blond. In a skirt too high and a shirt too low, she looked exactly like what she was, a high price hooker. Probably never had worked the streets, she chose to work the fancy hotels and high-end restaurants instead, knowing some poor, lonely bastard would happily make her a trophy wife…or at least a trophy pick-up for a night.

I had seen it all so many times before. Same people, same setup, different city.

There was only one thing that was definitely not clichéd in that hotel bar.

_Him. _

I remembered seeing him in the elevator my first week in Seattle, he wasn't exactly someone you could forget.

He was easily the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

Honey blond hair, wavy but not too curly, stormy blue eyes, high cheekbones, and full, pouty lips. I had only seen him in a suit but I could still tell that he was defined in all the right places. That day in the elevator, he had been checking me out, well, my reflection actually, and I had spent the last month regretting that I hadn't at least gotten his name.

But there he was, sitting in the clichéd hotel bar just a few stools down from me, checking his Blackberry and drinking a glass of what looked to be Chardonnay. He was in a suit again, as finely-tailored and expensive as the last, just a different color and less rumpled.

I had been watching him for the past twenty minutes, stealing glances as often as I could without him noticing. Watching the way his lips slid along the edge of his glass before his Adam's apple bobbed with each smooth sip. Watching the way he would run a hand through his hair, gripping the ends for a moment before shaking his head, his waves falling around his face again. Watching how he'd smile at the male bartender, batting his lashes at the right moment and showing off the dimples in his wide smile.

As soon as my hard-on subsided, I was going to talk to him.

Well, as soon as my hard-on subsided _and_ I had a little bit more liquid courage in me.

I didn't have much experience when it came to talking to men. Sure, I could charm a room of fifty businessmen with my savvy words and mentions of high dollar amounts, but when it came to personal affairs and actually talking to someone for sheer enjoyment, I was out of my comfort zone. Even though I had had encounters with men before, I was never the pursuer, so conversations outside of 'fuck me' or 'suck me' were a bit foreign to me.

I was waiting for Jacob, having made an appointment with his service as soon as I had returned to Seattle. It had been a little over a month since my first night with him and I desperately needed the relaxation…and release. A month worth of awkward conversations with Emmett, avoiding Bella's knowing looks, and countless board meetings had left me feeling mentally exhausted and more than ready to have a night to myself.

The awkward conversations with Emmett had begun before I had even arrived home after my first trip to Seattle. My cell phone ringing constantly along with text messages of how I had to fill him in on my _entire_ trip. Basically, he had wanted to know about my experience with an escort, something I was not exactly comfortable sharing with him, or anyone else. He had insisted that I "spill" every detail since I wouldn't have had it without his recommendation in the first place. Finally, after a week's worth of vague answers, I broke down and gave him every last detail, enjoying the way he cringed at my in depth description of Jake's endowments and how good a certain endowment felt as I was bent over the room's bar. Regardless of the wincing and shocked looks, Emmett was very proud of himself when he had realized that I had had such a good time.

Good time was a fucking understatement.

He had sat there, stirring his drink as he glanced around the tables near us before leaning across the table toward me. In a whispered tone, he asked if I was going to make use of Jake's endowments again.

Was the Pope Catholic?

I had chuckled and leaned forward, imitating his movement. "Fuck, yes," I had answered.

With a huge grin, he had sat back and reminded me, "Just remember this at Christmas. You know there's a certain red Porsche I've been eyeing lately."

I had raised an eyebrow at him. "Jake was good, but he wasn't _that _good."

After my first day back, avoiding Bella had been a necessity. When I had walked into the office, Bella had greeted me with my schedule and a cup of coffee, her eyes had grown large when she first laid eyes on me. I was utterly confused until she remarked that I was "glowing."

"Glowing?" I had repeated and she nodded, her brown waves bouncy around her perfectly made up face.

"I know why too," she had chirped as she followed toward my office. I rolled my eyes at her comment.

Glowing, my ass.

Well, it was a bit sore but glowing….

"Do tell," I had encouraged her, and immediately regretted it.

"You got laid."

She had almost run into me when I stopped just short of my office door, my shock confirming her suspicions. Thus began the interrogation of who with, was _she_ any good, and would I be seeing _her_ again. Opening the door to my office, she followed me in. I loved my relationship with Bella, she was my assistant but there was definite respect that flowed both ways. I had held her as she cried the day she heard her grandmother had died, she rubbed my back the day I had fucked up a merger and the Board was all over my ass.

As close as we were, I was a bit uncomfortable talking sex with her, especially considering she had assumed I had been with a woman.

Shuddering, I placed my briefcase on my desk and had turned to her. She stood before me, her head tilted to the side as she smirked. "So about that meeting today…." Laughing, she sat down and opened her laptop, ready to take notes.

The board meetings had been...just that. Board meetings. Press conferences. Luncheons and dinner parties.

My life.

Stealing another glance to my right, I noticed that the blond-haired god had just finished his drink, my perfect opportunity to offer him another. Even though I had been waiting for Jacob, he was already paid for and I could dismiss him at any point, or continue with our set plans if the blond-haired god was unavailable.

Downing the rest of my whiskey, I was just about to get up and walk over to him when a bulky form walking toward the object of my affection caught my attention.

His suit was expensive, well-cared for and the cut tailored. There was no doubt he definitely had money. Tall, though not quite as tall as Blondie, he carried himself with a confidence that challenged even my own. While my confidence in business was unparalleled, he had that same confidence in his personal life.

Then again, if I were there with Blondie, I would be pretty damn confident too.

Dark eyes, either blue or green, or perhaps a combination of both, it was difficult to tell in the dim lighting, were sharp and wise. Short jet black hair was perfectly cut, a five o'clock shadow just beginning to appear on his jaw as his lips spread into a smile.

Perhaps he was there to meet Blondie for a business meeting. Blondie obviously was traveling for business, as he was in the hotel for at least the second time in a month.

Walking up behind him quietly, he leaned over him and placed a kiss to the back of his neck, the blonde beauty turned around to greet him with the brightest smile I had ever seen.

Well, he wasn't meeting him for business.

My heart sank a little when I saw him stand and wrap his arms around the other man's shoulders, blushing and smirking when the taller man whispered something in his ear. With one hand resting on Blondie's lower back, he led him toward the elevator and I couldn't help but be a bit jealous when I thought of exactly what they would be doing once they reached their room.

"Another, please," I said after returning my attention to the bar, disappointed that even if I had worked up the courage to talk to him, he was clearly unavailable.

"Starting without me, gorgeous?" A husky voice whispered in my ear, the sound pushing away my disappointment, replacing it with growing arousal.

Cancelling my drink order, I spun around on the stool, meeting his gaze as I stood. I was still a little embarrassed at my reaction to him, my gaze roaming over his form, my cock hardening as I admired the way his biceps and pecs bulged through the thin fabric of his grey v-neck cotton shirt. Licking my lips, my cock twitched as I took in his tight blue jeans, remembering what was hidden beneath the material. I smirked when I saw he was wearing flip flops again. Finally raising my eyes to meet his, hundreds of possibilities ran through my mind of what I wanted to do to him that night.

Well, what I wanted _him_ to do to _me. _

"Of course not," I replied as I hooked one of my fingers in his belt loop, pulling him towards me. "Let's go upstairs."

Grinning wide, he said, "I don't even get a drink?"

"The drink can wait," I told him, grinding my hips into his slightly, letting him feel how hard I already was, earning a knowing smile from him.

I was grateful that the elevator was empty as we rode up to my suite, his mouth attached to mine and his hand rubbed my cock through my slacks, both of which were acts I was sure the other hotel patrons wouldn't want to witness.

Once we were inside my room, our mouths separated only long enough to pull his shirt off. As I toed off my shoes, I chuckled, wondering if he wore flip flops because they were easy on, easy off. He practically ripped the buttons off my dress shirt before it joined his on the floor, followed immediately by our pants and socks. Our hands never slowed, caressing each others' bodies as our kisses continued to deepen, walking us backward until my thighs hit the work desk in the corner of the room.

With one swipe of his large arm, the hotel phone and the welcome pamphlets were on the floor and I was being lifted, my ass landing on the edge of the desk as my legs immediately wrapped around his waist. My heels dug into his muscular ass as I ground my cock into his, bucking and twisting while he moaned in my mouth.

Kissing his way down my jaw, he whispered in my ear, "You want me right here, gorgeous? I thought we might actually try making it to the bed this time." I felt him smirk against my skin.

As nice as the bed sounded, hell, even the desk sounded nice by that point, but I had other plans.

I wanted a fantasy fulfilled.

Panting, I replied, "No, I want you...in the shower."

Leaning he back, he smiled. "Go start the water; I'll be right behind you."

Hopping off the desk, I practically ran to the bathroom, my throbbing erection bobbing with each step. Entering the large bathroom, I walked to the stand-alone shower, turning on the hot water before grabbing two towels from the rack and hanging them on the hooks just outside the shower.

The steam filled the large room and just as I had turned on the cold water to even out the temperature, I felt his arms wrap around my waist and his teeth latch onto my earlobe. Turning in his arms, I immediately brought his lips to mine as he backed me to the wall in the shower, the water pouring over us, making our bodies slick and slide against one another. Reaching over, he set a small bottle of lube and a condom on the soap dish before wrapping his hand around the back of my thigh and hitching my leg around his waist, kissing me hard once more as he grinded his cock into mine.

Digging my heel into his ass, I pushed against him harder, my fingers gripping the slippery skin of his back as our tongues met eagerly. I was so worked up, needing that release so badly, that I was already trembling, my cock throbbing every time it collided with his.

"Fuck, that feels good," he moaned after I pulled my mouth from his and started nipping at his neck.

I whispered against his throat, "Suck me."

Obediently, he dropped my leg and backed up. Wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, he pulled me forward, the spray hitting my back as he slowly dropped to his knees, his hand sliding down my chest and stomach as he went.

Sitting on his heels, he licked his lips and leaned forward blowing gently across the head and even with the steam of the shower his breath felt so hot. My cock twitched from his teasing and he grinned before dipping his tongue into my slit.

"Ugh," I groaned as both my hands tangled in his long, black hair, my head tipping back, the water running through my hair.

He circled my head with his tongue, running the tip of it around the thick ridge as his hand came up to my balls, rolling them gently and slowly. Finally, he sucked me into his mouth, not moving any further down as he continued to bathe my head with his tongue.

It all felt so good but I needed more and I was growing impatient. I needed to come.

Tightening my grip on his hair, I held him still and began pumping my hips toward his face, a smooth, steady rhythm as I concentrated on not going too far. Moaning, he sucked in his cheeks, the wet suction of his mouth so hot and tight that I cried out and pumped my hips a little harder.

"Fuck," I sighed as I fought to keep control, my entire body screaming at me to just slam to the back of his throat.

As if reading my thoughts, he brought his hands to my ass and pushed me forward, my cock slipping in deeper until I hit his throat, humming around me as my knees threatened to give out from the pleasure.

I needed to see, to witness my fantasy actually coming to life so I brought my head back up, tucking my chin to my chest and opening my eyes.

I had to fight not to come down his throat right then.

Looking up at me from under his dark lashes, he angled his head and began sucking again when I loosened my hold on his hair, moving his head from side to side every time he deep throated me. His eyes stayed locked on mine the entire time; almost as if he knew it was driving me crazy.

I was sure the hard tile had to be hurting his knees by that point, but with his tongue teasing my slit and the tight suction of his cheeks surrounding me, I couldn't bring myself to care.

I watched as he brought one of his arms down from my ass and started stroking himself, the sight of my cock in his mouth while his hand tugged at his own throbbing shaft was one of the most erotic things I had ever seen.

"Stroke yourself faster," I gasped, feeling his grunt against me as he obeyed. "Yeah, like that...so fucking sexy."

His other hand went back to my balls, caressing and rubbing again as his head continued to bob back and forth. I knew I wouldn't be able to last much longer, his mouth so talented that I was already fighting to hold back my orgasm. The vibrations from his humming escalated, causing bolts of pleasure to shoot down my cock, through my balls and straight down to my toes as my stomach clenched and twisted.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jacob, you're going to make me come," I warned.

Nodding, he moved his hand from my balls, sliding one finger back to my entrance, circling it once before slipping it inside.

"Oh, God...." I growled, my toes curling as the sensation shot through me. "I'm coming," I cried, thrusting deeply into his mouth as I came hard, shooting my seed down his throat.

He never stopped, swallowing and sucking until I had nothing left to give, my legs shaking so forcefully that I thought I might actually collapse. Rising from his knees, I gripped his biceps for support, my chin still resting on my chest as I fought to catch my breath.

"I'm going to fuck you now. Do you want that, gorgeous?" he murmured as he ran his fingers through my wet hair.

"Uh huh," I replied breathlessly, not even bothering to make any kind of coherent sentence as I raised my head to kiss him deeply. I groaned as I tasted myself in his mouth, simply knowing that he had swallowed my come already had my cock trying to leap to attention once again.

Spinning me around, he placed my palms on the shower wall, pushing on my lower back so I would bend over, arching it as his hand ghosted over the slick skin of my ass.

"Shit, look at that ass. So God damn sexy," he exclaimed, grabbing a handful of my flesh for a moment before letting go and slapping it lightly. Moaning, I pushed back into his hand, earning a chuckle and a whispered 'just a second'. The water was hitting the middle of my back, rolling down over my ass and the back of my thighs. I heard the ripping of the condom package as his touch disappeared, then his large hand was gripping my shoulder and I felt the tip of his cock entering me, that slow, sweet burn had me whimpering and pushing back, wanting more.

"Fuck...still so fucking tight," he hissed through clenched teeth. Once fully inside me, he stayed still and leaned over me, his hot breath floated over my back.

Bracing myself with my palms, I curled my hips inward, letting his cock slide out inch by glorious inch until I reached the head before pushing myself back hard, grinding against him when I hit his flesh.

"Fuck me, Jacob."

Grasping my hips, he grunted, "Ugh...fuck yeah."

Rocking his hips, he started a smooth, steady rhythm, gliding himself in and out of me as his hand ran up my back, threading his fingers through my hair and gripping tightly, pulling my head back as he started to move faster.

"Jesus fuck, you feel so good," he finished his statement by moving his other hand from my hip and dropping it to my ass, slapping it with a little more force this time as he snapped his hips forward.

My sounds were unrestrained; groans and whimpers and whispered pleas reverberated off the shower walls as I grasped desperately at the slippery tile. My cock was rock hard again and slapping against my abdomen every time he thrust into me. Dropping one my hands from the wall, I reached down and grabbed my erection, stroking it furiously as I chased the glorious feeling that was building in the pit of my stomach again.

"Oh, God...yeah, play with your cock, gorgeous. I want to feel you come while I'm inside you."

His cock brushed my prostate with every thrust and I could feel my cock pulse in my hand as I stroked harder, twisting my wrist over the head with each pass. "Jacob, I'm going to...come...oh, fuck," I cried, the first spurt erupting from me, followed by a second and third as my legs trembled and my muscles clenched repeatedly. Just as my body finished releasing all the tension, I felt Jacob redouble his efforts, pounding into me harder and faster.

"Yeah, take it...feels so fucking good...fuck, I'm coming."

I felt his cock twitch hard inside me as he stilled, roaring my name and a few intelligible words over and over again until he collapsed, his chest hitting my back as he panted heavily against me.

My shoulders sagged, my entire body weak and exhausted. That wonderful satisfaction coursed through me and I smiled. It was exactly what I had needed to relieve my stress, all the tension that had been created with the burdens of my life in Chicago.

"Want to try out the bed next time?" he laughed as his softening cock slipped from me.

Amazingly, my cock twitched at his suggestion.

"**~~**"

After thoroughly breaking in the king size bed, Jacob had given me one last soft kiss and a murmured 'until next time' before grabbing his bag and walking out the door.

As soon as he was gone, I went back to the shower, letting the hot water soothe my muscles that ached from the various positions he had put me in. Jacob was, without a doubt, the best lover I had ever had, not that I had many to compare him too but he was definitely experienced and _very_ talented.

Even though, I still wasn't fully satisfied. I wanted my shower fantasy, which he had tried to give me but it still wasn't right, it wasn't what I _wanted._

Or rather, _who_ I wanted.

I _wanted_ blond waves bouncing as water rolled down lean shoulders.

I _wanted_ blue eyes staring up at me through thick lashes.

I _wanted_ full lips locked around my cock.

Stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and headed for the desk in the bedroom, powering on my laptop as I grabbed the card for Denali Escorts out of my wallet. I typed in the web address, butterflies forming in my stomach as I clinked on the link titled 'View Our Models'. Laughing a bit at the term 'model', I wondered why they had chosen to pretty up the term 'escort', although it was better than 'hooker'. A list of men and women appeared on my screen with a small thumbnail picture next to a name and age.

_Ivana: age 22_

_Brittany: age 21_

_Michael: age 24_

_Jasper: age 20 _

_Natasha: age 19_

I scrolled through the names and pictures, searching for anyone that fit the description I desired. Finally, I came back around to the unique name of Jasper. They apparently used aliases to keep their identity private.

I couldn't tell much from the thumbnail they had posted next to his name. Clicking the image, I couldn't contain my gasp of shock when a large photo loaded on my screen.

It was _him._

The blond beauty that had checked me out in the elevator, the one from the bar who had left the bar with another man the night before. Of course, I had automatically assumed the man was his partner. Never once had it occurred to me that the man could simply be a friend, or in this case, a "client". Regardless of whether or not the man had been his partner, he was still on the website, which meant that he was still...available for business.

Jasper.

His name was Jasper.

And he was for sale.

Shock turned into excitement as I scrolled through the albums of photos, my mind reeling at the possibility that I could actually have him for only a small price. Excitement then turned into arousal as I came across a picture of him sprawled across a white down comforter wearing only a pair of tight Calvin Klein boxer briefs, his thumbs hooked into the waistband, pulling it down a bit to reveal his treasure trail, and an enticing smirk on his lips.

My already spent cock twitched.

The next picture was relatively simple but still amazingly sexy. He was standing, shirtless and barefoot, wearing only tight blue jeans that were unbuttoned, unzipped, and pulled down low around his slim hips just enough to show a little hair, immediately leaving me wanting more and more. His arm was up and bent, his hand resting on his neck and the position made his bicep bulge, showing off the smooth skin that covered his ribs.

My mouth watered.

I wanted to taste that skin, feel it in my mouth and between my teeth as I sucked and bit and bruised it.

By that point, my cock was completely hard again, tenting the towel that was still wrapped around my waist.

His next picture was my undoing. Still dressed in the same undone blue jeans, only he was on his knees looking up at the camera through his long lashes. His blue eyes were bright and an almost shy smile was on his pouty lips while his hands rested on the sides of his thighs.

Without conscious thought, I was rubbing my cock through the towel, staring at the screen intently as I took in the definition of his abs and his sculpted chest.

That was what I wanted.

I wanted _him _on his knees before me.

I wanted _him_ to look up at me like he was looking up at the camera

I wanted _him_ to suck me so hard and so deep that I forgot my own name.

Unwrapping the towel from my waist, I let the sides fall off the chair as I spread my legs wide, slouching down a bit. Gathering the precum from my tip, I stroked myself slowly and steadily as I thought about feeling those pecs under my tongue, teasing his nipples with my teeth as he arched into my touch. Gripping the base tightly, I imagined what was barely hidden beneath his jeans, what his cock would feel like in my hands and in my mouth, sucking him off as he panted my name.

Stroking faster when I imagined what it would be like to have his cock inside me and his voice murmuring dirty, arousing things in my ear.

Panting, I rubbed myself harder, my other hand trailing down my chest, stopping briefly to tease and pinch my nipples before continuing downward, cupping my balls and rolling them as I cried out at the sensation.

I needed to come.

Again.

Closing my eyes, I thought about my favorite picture, only he wasn't kneeling before a camera, in my mind, he was kneeling before me. His hands would caress my thighs as he leaned forward. His tongue would peek out and lap at my head before taking it into his hot mouth and sucking hard. Opening my eyes, I looked at picture one last time, staring at those piercing blue eyes as I groaned loudly and came, covering my hand in come as I twitched and throbbed. Pumping a few more times, I milked my cock for everything it was worth, not quite ready to let go of the fantasy.

But it didn't have to be just a fantasy anymore.

I could have him.

I could have Jasper.

A simple fee was all it would take to have him in my hotel shower on his knees with my cock in his mouth. Or in my bed, fucking me hard and relentlessly.

Yes, I _would _have him.

"**~~**"

The next night, I double checked the bar, making sure I had enough whiskey as well as various brands of beer and wine.

I wanted to be fully prepared for when Jasper arrived.

_Jasper_.

After seeing him on the website, I had called Tanya first thing the next morning and told her that I wanted him that night. At first, she tried to get me to move the date, saying that Jasper already had been booked but I wouldn't have it. After reassuring her that I would pay double whatever his scheduled client had offered, she found that the other client had just cancelled, and told me Jasper would be at my suite by seven. I had requested that he wear a black suit with a gray tie, the same thing he had been wearing when I had seen him in the elevator. The suit that nearly had me panting as soon as I had laid eyes on him.

I almost couldn't contain my excitement.

Once again, I was little nervous. Jacob had been fantastic, but I had no clue if Jasper would be as talented in the bedroom as Jacob was. What if he had the looks but lacked experience? What if it was a waste of time _and_ money?

I was certainly going to find out.

Checking the time again, the butterflies in my stomach tripled when I realized it was two minutes until seven and he would be arriving any moment.

Walking quickly to the bathroom, I looked myself over one last time, straightening my shirt and running a hand through my hair, trying to tame it as much as possible. I felt like I was getting ready for a date, almost as if I was the teenage girl waiting for the quarterback of the football team to pick me up.

A far cry from the actual situation I was in.

Laughing at the ridiculous thought, I turned off the bathroom light and walked back into the main room of the suite, just about ready to burst from anticipation.

Then I heard it.

A knock at my door.

My stomach flipped.

Taking a deep breath, I walked to the door, trying to calm myself so I didn't appear like a giddy schoolgirl. I pulled the door open and was greeted with the sexiest smirk on his beautiful face.

Before the shock registered on his face, and then I just had to smile.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading!

Be sure to check out The Slash Awards at http :// theslashawards . blogspot . com/?zx=bf4921c061c2fefd (remove spaces) M&A is up for two awards, Best One Shot and Best Toy Play… so go vote for Mergerward and Escortsper, they need your support!


	5. The Man Behind the Curtain

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-Warning: This chapter contains a graphic rape scene in the very beginning, if this content bothers you, please skip the part in italics. While you can understand the chapter without reading it, it is a pivotal reason as to why Jasper is the way he is, so if you can handle it, I recommend reading it.

Also, there have been some changes to the timeline and other details from the one-shot, as when that was written, we had never intended it to be a full length story, so in order to make things fit, details and timelines needed to be changed.

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

Huge thanks to Christie for her very quick turn around on this chapter. Also thanks to Jolene509 and her eagle eyes!

Pay no attention to man behind the curtain…

"**~~**"

Jpov~

_The pungent scent of the musty pillow suffocated me as I felt the large hand on the back of my head pushing my face deeper into the thin pillow. I shivered when I felt the ice cold fingers skim my waist as they grabbed the elastic of my pajama bottoms and yanked them down over my ass. I began to struggle, but the weight of the heavy body on top of mine was too much for my thin, awkward fourteen year old body. Shoving my shirt up, he exposed my back to him and he laid his bare chest against me, rubbing up and down me. I felt so fucking dirty. His breath reeked of garlic from that night's dinner and I gagged when it washed over my cheek as he grunted. The sweaty and musky scent of sex was thick in the air. _

_As I felt him pull his own pajamas down, freeing his large erection, I lay still under him. It was better to not fight. When I squirmed under him, he lasted longer, enjoying the sensation of my body moving under his. If I just lay there unmoving, he came quickly and returned to his own bed. I wasn't going to give him the pleasure of feeling me struggle._

_Even though I tried to keep them together, he roughly pushed my legs apart with his knees, using his feet to shove my pajama bottoms all the way off. I never wore briefs to bed, we were only allowed a limited number of pairs and in order to keep them as clean as possible, I avoided wearing them at night. The idea of wearing them the next day with some other kid's cum stains all over them made me sick. _

_Once he had access to my ass, he pushed his hard cock between my legs in search of my entrance. He rested his chin on my shoulder, one of his hands tightly holding both of my wrists above my head while the other was around my neck restricting what breaths I could take. _

_Grunting, I felt the burning as he roughly entered me, stretching me as his cock forced its way into my unwilling body. Limply, I lay under him as he whispered dirty words to me, telling me how tight I was, how he loved to fuck me, how he loved to come inside my little bitch-boy ass. My breathing was shallow as I fought to hold my breath to avoid the stench of his body odor. He took my gasps as arousal, and pushed me harder into the mattress as I repeatedly felt his balls slap against me. _

_Clenching my eyes closed, I disengaged my mind from my body. Even as I felt him pulse inside me with each thrust, I imagined the coast of Texas where I had been born and raised. I saw the sandy beaches and cresting waves with the sun reflecting off the blue-green water. The beaches of Texas were a far cry from the large industrial gray room with rows of beds just like the one that I was being fucked in. Around me, I could hear snoring, wheezing from other teenage boys as they brought themselves to climax with their own hands, and the squeaking of the iron bed frames as other boys were taken against their will. _

_At least I wasn't alone. _

_The room was nothing but a breeding ground for future inmates, drug users, and hookers. _

_Vaguely, I wondered which one of them I was going to become. _

_If I lived long enough to make it out when I hit eighteen. _

_When he groaned, I knew he was close. _

_His wet tongue licked my ear and he released my neck, putting his hand on my shoulder for leverage to slam into me harder. I felt his nails digging into my flesh. It didn't matter if he left marks, it didn't matter if anyone saw the marks. I had already been branded as his bitch, and was off limits to the other boys. Admittedly, it was better to be just one boy's bitch than many. I felt bad for those laying in the beds around me that were being assaulted by more than one. Each took their turns fucking the boy while the others stood around and watched, their hands stroking their cocks while they waited for their turn to fuck the tight young ass. _

_At least I had been spared that. My blue eyes and blond waves apparently attracted the oldest boy, and he declared me within a week after my arrival. At first, I had been relieved to have a friend. Little did I know what kind of friendship he had in mind. _

_The first time he had fucked me, I had been twelve. _

_I couldn't walk the next day. A Home teacher had found me in my bed crying the next morning with small spots of blood in the sheets. Hobbling to the nurse, I was too embarrassed to tell her what had really happened. _

_It was soon after that I realized it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Underfunded and understaffed, they were aware of little that went on within their dark walls at night. It was a fate that the boys suffered alone. After the long nights of screams and grunts, you could spot the victims the next day, walking stiffly, fresh bruises on their body and a hollow, distant look in their eyes as they went through their day in a numb state of mind. _

_With a husky "fuck, I'm coming," I felt him explode inside me. Cringing at the thought of yet another part of him in me, I was relieved when he let go of my wrists, only to put his lips on my shoulder, letting his saliva drip from his mouth and onto my skin. "Such a good fuck," he praised me before biting down hard, embedding his teeth into my skin. Softening inside me, he slipped out, his dick slick with his cum as he pushed off me._

_Kneeling between my legs, he raked his nails down my back, leaving red marks in their wake, to my ass and spread my cheeks apart. He sat there and watched his cum seep from my hole down the pale skin of my thighs._

"_Til next time, bitch," he murmured. An instant later, he was gone. _

_Reaching behind me, I pulled my sheet back up. I left my pants off, I was going to leak his orgasm more, and I didn't want to soil my pajamas. At least the linens were washed once a week. As I lay there, naked from the waist down, his fluid dripping from me, I refused to cry._

_It was nothing new. Just another night in the Home. I knew he was satisfied for a few days, and my ass had three or four days to recover before I would be violated again. _

_My parents had brought me to church when I was young, teaching me about God, Heaven and the power of prayer._

_I didn't pray._

_I didn't believe in God._

_And if there was a Hell, surely I was in it. _

_Listening to the sounds of other boys coming, and the muffled cries of those they raped, I finally fell asleep._

"Jasper, wake up," the voice was soothing, calm.

Not husky and vulgar.

I inhaled and smelled the clean scent of body wash and cologne.

Not body odor and bad breath.

Gasping, I bolted upright in the dark room, my heart racing as I glanced around and tried to figure out where the fuck I was. There were no rows of beds, no musty odor; instead there was a hand on my arm, gently rubbing it up and down.

"You okay?"

"Yes, sorry," I apologized automatically. Internally, I was upset with myself. I hadn't had a nightmare in about a year, and there I was having one when I was with a client. Not only did I let a weakness show, but it was about as unprofessional as one could be.

"Don't apologize," he whispered. "Come here," he requested, laying back down and pulling me with him. He lay on his back and placed my cheek on his chest, his fingers tangling in my hair. "Jesus, Jasper, you're shaking," he held me tighter.

"Sorry," I apologized again.

Sighing heavily, he kissed my forehead. "Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head no. Those were memories I wanted to long forget. "I've just been under some stress lately, and had a bad dream."

A bad dream I had lived.

Strong fingers under my chin tilted it up. "Tell me."

"About the dream?"

"No, the stress. Tell me what's going on."

I pulled my chin from his grip and placed my cheek back over his heart, letting its strong beat calm me. "I can't. It's not professional."

"Jasper," he chided." Don't give me that shit. You've had my dick in your ass countless times, and you trusted me enough to tie you up. I might pay to have you here, but I think we are beyond the need to keep it all professional, aren't we?"

I remained silent as I was considering telling him. There was only one person that knew my situation and I didn't trust him enough to even walk into my place without worrying he was going to steal something.

Peter was unlike anyone I had ever known. He was powerful, confident, well spoken and kind. He nudged me with his arm to pull me from my churning thoughts.

"Jasper?"

I lifted my head and looked him in the eye. "It's hard for me. I've never had anyone to confide in before. I've always had to keep things to myself. This is new to me…friendship."

Grinning at my last word, he pulled my face up to his and kissed me. "Friends…I like the sound of that."

Wiggling my eyebrows at him, I ran my hand down his chest, letting my fingers circle his nipple. "Friends with benefits," I joked.

Laughing, he grabbed my wrist. "You're good, Jasper. But I'm better, I know you are trying to distract me and it won't work. Tell me."

He was right of course, when in doubt, I brought everything back to sex. It was the language I spoke best.

Sighing, I closed my eyes and blurted it out before I could stop myself. "I owe someone some money."

"Who?"

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter." I had been with him enough to know the sigh he released was not one of satisfaction but rather of frustration. Without further prompting from him, I continued. "His name is James. He's a pimp, and he says I owe him ten thousand in missed wages that he isn't getting because I left."

Ashamed, I lowered my eyes and looked away, just waiting for him to kick me out of the bed. He had a good reason to; I had just told him I had worked the streets. Pushing off him, his silence hurting more than I had expected, I sat up and I turned away from him, bringing my knees up to my chest. Berating myself for already fucking up the one friendship I had ever known, I bit my lip and wondered if he would tell Tanya that I had told him.

Perhaps James wouldn't have to worry about those missed wages after all.

I jumped when I felt his hand on my back. His large palm was warm as he ran it up and down the corded muscles.

"Has he threatened you?"

With a lump in my throat, I shook my head. "Not yet."

But I knew it was only a matter of time.

I felt the bed shift as he sat up behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder. It was not the reaction I had been expecting. Every muscle in my body that had been ready for flight mode began to relax slightly under his tranquil touch.

"Have you paid him anything?"

"No, I have about two thousand saved up, but he keeps adding interest. It's probably fucking twelve thousand by now. Even if I had it, I know as soon as paid him, he would come up with something else. He's not exactly an honest businessman like you."

He chuckled.

Turning my head, I glanced at him. "It doesn't bother you that I worked the streets?"

"Should it?"

"It's not exactly an honorable profession," I said, picking at the bedspread around my legs. If he only knew some of the shit I had seen, that I had _done_. There was no way he would be sitting in the same bed with me, much less the same room.

Shrugging, he forced me to turn and straddle him, and pulling my legs up and over his, he cupped my face. "You did what you had to do to survive, you didn't give up. That, Jasper, is very honorable."

Blushing I looked away. I was far from honorable. "You're not afraid?"

Confidently, he stared at me. "Not at all. You and I are always safe and I know Tanya has all her employees tested bi-monthly. It's one of the reasons I use her service." He kissed me softly before pulling back. "Promise me something?"

Dropping my chin to my chest, I looked up at him through the hair framing my face, fearing what he wanted, but I agreed.

"Keep me updated, and…" he paused, forcing me to look at him again. "You'll ask for my help if you need it."

Not only had he called himself my friend, but he was now offering help, both so foreign to me, I felt butterflies in my stomach from nervousness as I treaded the waters of unknown territory.

"I will," I agreed. Smiling, he let his hand drop to my thigh before I felt it between my legs on my cock.

Leaning forward, he whispered, "Since we're both up…."

"**~~**"

I was exhausted. Peter always fucking wore me out, and it usually took me a full day to recover. And that time I wasn't just physically spent, I was emotionally drained as well. I hadn't planned on telling him anything but after waking up screaming in a cold sweat, he had encouraged me to tell him what was going on. I had been ashamed and nervous. Telling someone that was paying an enormous amount of money to fuck you that you had worked the streets where disease and drugs were rampant was not a good idea. If there was a way to guarantee not being requested again, that was it.

And yet, I had still done it.

I had realized in the shower after our middle- of-the-night-fuck that I should have kept quiet, but there was something about Peter that allowed me to be myself with him. It was an odd sensation, but I enjoyed the warmth that spread through my body when he had referred to us as friends.

I had been honest. I hadn't really ever had a friend before. There was only one person on the streets that I might have considered a friend, and I didn't even like him.

Peter had been scheduled for the next night, but he had to schedule a last minute business trip and had changed our 'date' to Friday night. My Saturday night didn't remain free for long, as Tanya called with a new client only a few minutes after I had left Peter.

Well, new to me anyway. Apparently he had requested me.

My reputation was beginning to proceed me.

Checking my watch, I realized I had less than eight hours before I had to be with the new client.

_Edward Cullen_.

The name rang a faint bell, but I couldn't place where I knew it from. As the doors opened, I stepped off the elevator and turned down the hall to my apartment. Reaching in my pocket, I pulled out my Blackberry and checked new messages as I walked. When I lifted my head, I saw him.

My so-called friend.

Slumped against my door, his chin on his chest, his legs spread out before him as he leaned sleeping against my door. I could smell him from twenty feet away. He had changed his clothes since the last time I had seen him, the holes in his jeans exposing his bony knees, his tattered sweatshirt was shredding at the cuffs and waistband and I could see the soles falling off his sneakers.

How he ever got a john to pay for him was beyond my understanding. How could anyone put up with his stench?

As I neared, I took shallow breaths so as not to breathe in his odor.

Standing in front of him, I tapped his shin with my foot. "What the fuck are you doing here, asshole?"

His head shot up and he opened his eyes, quickly wide with fear. It was a habit we all learned from living on the streets, when you slept you never knew if you were going to wake up again, and if you did, it was usually suddenly and not under the best of circumstances. He scrambled to his feet, stretching as he stood up, his shirt lifting to divulge the dirt scattered along his stomach. Quickly, I looked down the hallway to be sure we were alone.

"I came to see you," he yawned.

"No shit, really?" I pushed him aside and unlocked my door.

"Where have you been all night?" he asked, watching me a bit too close for comfort. "And what's with the suit?"

I spun around. "You've been here all fucking night?"

Fucking great. What the fuck were the neighbors going to think about some homeless kid sleeping in their hallway all night? This was probably enough reason to get my ass kicked out of the building.

"Relax. I got here about five this morning." He shook his head with disgust. Apparently, my worried state had been obvious.

"Fuck…"

"I had to see you," he admitted. Running a hand through his greasy hair, he looked up at me through the long, stringy pieces that fell over his eyes. No matter what condition he was in or how bad he smelled, he had beautiful amber eyes. Johns loved his full lips around their dicks as he looked up at them with those big brown eyes. I swear his eyes were the reason he got as much business as he did.

It certainly wasn't his odor.

Sighing, I pushed the door all the way open and motioned. "Fine, come in." His face perked up and he almost smiled. As he brushed by me, his chest bumping mine, his pungent scent made me gag. "But you're taking a fucking shower. You reek."

I closed the door, sliding the locks as he turned to face me. "Ummm, okay but I don't have any other clothes."

"You can borrow mine," I didn't even think twice about offering. I would have done just about anything to get the stink out of my place.

Pulling his sweatshirt off over his head, he laughed, "No offense, but that shit isn't me." The sweatshirt landed on the floor, closely followed by his tee shirt. Bare-chested, he began to unbutton his pants.

"Fuck off," I retorted, hanging my jacket over the back of the chair. "And the bathroom is over there." I pointed down the hall. Stripping as he walked down the hall, he left pieces of clothing on my floor as he went. "Oh, Riley?" Completely naked, he turned to me.

"Yeah?"

"Don't even think about fucking stealing anything, or I will fuck you up," I warned.

I heard him chuckle as he closed the door. Mentally, I ran through a checklist of the items in my bathroom, not only what he could possible take, but what he could use as weapons as well.

Following his trail of clothes, I picked them up and went to the washer, holding them as far away from me as possible. When I went to toss in his jeans, I felt something hard in a pocket. Hesitantly, I stuck my hand in and grabbed it. I knew what it was before I even pulled it out.

In my palm sat three tiny squares of hard white rocks.

With a heavy sigh, I sat the pieces on the dryer while I finished putting the laundry in. I picked up the drugs, went to my kitchen sink and put the pieces in the sink before I crushed them and ran the water, washing the white dust down the drain.

After pulling out a few burgers, I tossed them in the pan, flipping them as they cooked. While the burgers finished, I grabbed some leftover potato salad and put it on the table. I heard the shower turn off and went to my room to grab him some clothes.

"Here are some clothes," I said as I knocked on the bathroom door. He opened it wide, and standing there naked, he reached for the clothes.

"Thanks, man." He turned to dress but left he door wide open. I briefly admired his ass before turning back to the kitchen. I finished the burgers and fixed a plate for him.

"Fuck, that smells good," he inhaled as he walked into the room. His dark hair was wet, hanging in his face a bit, but he smelled of body wash and aftershave.

"Have a seat," I put the plate in front of him as he sat down. With wide eyes, he lifted the burger and took a bit. I swear his eyes rolled back into his head.

"Holy shit, this is fucking good," he moaned around his food.

Smiling, I was a bit proud of myself. He was my first official guest I had cooked for.

"I didn't know you know how to do this shit," he mumbled around a mouthful.

"It's not rocket science, it's just cooking, Rile." I took a bite, and had to agree, it tasted good. I was hungrier than I had thought, the night before had worked up my appetite. Shrugging, he stopped talking and ate like it was his last meal. "When's the last time you ate?"

Furrowing his brows, he thought for a minute. "Yesterday," he lied.

"Bullshit."

"Fine. About four days ago," he whispered before taking another huge bite. As he finished off the burger, I eyed him.

"Do you want more?"

He shook his head, "Nah, I'm good, thanks, man," he said as he pushed his plate away. "That was fucking delicious." As soon as I was finished, I put our dishes in the sink and offered him a beer. "Fuck yes, but no more of that imported shit."

I tossed his clothes in the dryer and we went into the living and sat on the couch. He sprawled out and took a sip of beer. It was bit unnerving to see him in my Varvatos tee shirt and True Religion jeans. He was wearing more money than he made in six months.

"So, what was so important that you felt the need to camp out on my doorstep for five hours?" I asked, putting my feet up on the table.

He looked over at me and bit his lip. "It's about Newton." I knew him, although not well, we had worked the same few blocks for a few months. There was a mutual respect between us, he seemed to keep to himself and stayed out of my way. The last time I had seen him was about a week before Tanya had approached me.

"What about him?" I asked, sipping my beer.

"He's in the hospital. He was found in a dumpster day before yesterday. He was pretty fucked up."

I leaned forward, putting my elbows on my knees. "Fucked up how?"

Sighing, he put his beer on the table and mirrored my pose. "Shit beat out of him, broken arm, broken ribs and…."

"And what?" I felt my heart begin to race in my chest.

"A few fingers were cut off. Three I think, right down to his hand." I raised my eyebrows. That was new. "Rumor is that it was James."

Involuntarily, I shivered. James was known for fucking people up, he had come close to killing a guy or two, but while he was the so-called brains behind the attacks, he never physically laid a hand on anyone, always having one of his addicts to do his dirty work for him, enticing them with free drugs if they completed their assigned tasks. Running my hands through my hair, I leaned back against the couch.

"Rile, did you tell him where I live?" I asked worriedly. He glanced away quickly, nervously avoiding my eyes. "What the fuck?"

"He was threatening me," he whispered. Staring at him, I tried to tell if he was lying or not. Lying was second nature for us both, and we were both good at it, but sitting there I had an inclination to actually believe him.

"I don't give a fuck," I practically yelled.

"Jasper," he sighed.

"Don't fucking 'Jasper' me. You're so far up his ass that you can't tell where he ends and you begin. Makes me sick."

Quickly, he stood up. "Fuck you. I'm not like you. I didn't have some slut play Gwenda the Good Witch-"

"Glenda."

"To swoop in and take me off the streets and pay me to fuck people." He began pacing in front of me, his hands twitching as he got more worked up. "You're no better than me, asshole. You and your 'clients' are the same as me and my johns. Adding a fancy name doesn't make it any better."

There was nothing to say, he was totally fucking right. I was nothing more than a hooker, just like he was. I could dress up all I wanted, and pretend I wasn't selling my body for sex, but it was really as simple as that.

I got paid to get fucked.

The kind words Peter had offered me that morning had caught me off guard. I had never exposed myself to someone like that, and I was uncomfortable with the vulnerability. Physical vulnerability was one thing, but emotional…that was entirely different. He had told me not to be ashamed of who I was, or what I did for work. And fuck, I knew I was good, as if his compliments and physical reactions weren't enough, I had quickly become one of Tanya's most sought after escorts.

Riley sat back down next to me, his hands constantly running up and down his thighs. "You know what it's like out there, Jasper. It's life or death every day. Don't tell me you forgot that?"

"No, I didn't."

"Then how can you be pissed when I need protection? I don't…." he closed his eyes and exhaled.

"What?"

"I don't have you anymore. You used to look out for me, but not anymore. You're here in your fucking apartment pretending you're worth something in your Pruda suit."

"Prada," I corrected him without thinking, "and this is Armani, not Prada."

"Like I fucking care who the fuck it is. You know what I fucking mean," he raised his voice, his eyes growing a bit wild. I glanced around my living room, assessing the contents until my eyes fell on the silver letter opener on my desk.

"Why did he have him fucked up?" I asked calmly, hoping to sooth his disintegrating nerves.

Anxiously, he rubbed his face with his hands before he whispered, "he owed him money."

My head shot up. "How much?"

"A few grand, I think," he admitted.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. "What the fuck am I going to do?"

He didn't answer. At least, not verbally, but I felt his hand on my thigh, squeezing it in an offer of support. Somehow, it actually relaxed me a bit, my heart gradually slowing as his hand lightly grazed up and down my leg. When I felt his fingers brush over my limp cock, I opened my eyes to see him leaning toward me. I didn't stop him as his lips met mine, his tongue tracing my bottom lip as he straddled my lap for better access.

Not only did I not stop him, but I tilted my head as his lips left mine and traveled over my unshaven jaw. It wasn't Peter, there was no powerful current that flowed between us that I could feel throughout my body. It was different. With Riley, it was a comfort, and oddly enough an aggressiveness that I was allowed to have with him. One I had taken advantage of on more than one occasion.

His breath was in my ear. "Remember how good it used to be?" he reminded me as his tongue licked my lobe before he sucked it into this mouth. Inhaling, I smelled the fresh scent of my body wash on him. The sweet smell of coconut wafted from his hair as he nuzzled my neck. He smelled so good compared to just a few hours before.

I never used to care what he smelled like, I had only cared about fucking him. I moaned when I felt his hand on the button of my pants, and flashes of us together hit me.

On the streets, you were the either the one getting fucked or doing the sucking. If a hooker got off while they were with a john, it was a miracle. And while most of them were so disgusting, I wouldn't even be able to get it up, it got sexually frustrating after awhile. All these people getting off with you, by you, and yet you walked away with nothing but a sore ass. There had to be an outlet, we all needed one. Some did drugs, some got angry, and I fucked.

Riley to be exact.

Whenever the need had grown too insistent to ignore, I would search for him, often finding him on the corner of University and First, even waiting for him to return from a john if necessary. Once he saw me, his eyes scanning my body, taking in my fidgeting hands and dark eyes, he knew why I was there, what I wanted.

He knew I wanted to fuck him…hard.

Nodding at him as he approached, I headed down an alley and waited against the side of a building for him. I watched as he checked in with James and handed over some money. James shoved the money in his pocket and pressed something into Riley's hand. Smiling, Riley looked both ways before popping it in his mouth. When he reached me, I smirked and pushed off the wall. Obediently, he unbuttoned his pants and pressed his palms against the brick. My breath quickened as I dug into my pocket and pulled out a condom. Quickly, I undid my jeans, pulled the flap open, and pushed the elastic of my briefs down over my erection. Stroking myself a few times, I watched him waiting for me. With his hands against the wall, his head hung and his ass jutting out invitingly toward me, he looked fucking amazing.

"Gonna fuck me or what?" he glanced at me over his shoulder. I rolled the condom on, stepped forward, and grabbed his pants. I yanked them down over his ass before I spanked it hard, leaving a red mark. "Fuck," he moaned as the sting hit him.

Gripping his hips, I pulled him to me and positioned myself at his entrance. He bent over, sticking his ass out, rubbing against me. "Please," he begged. Guiding my cock, I swiftly entered him, not waiting for him to adjust. Grunting in pain, he exhaled, "Jesus fucking…" he didn't finish as I pulled out and slammed back into him. As I entered his tight ass, I threw my head back, glancing down the alley in both directions quickly. Not that it mattered if anyone caught us, I wasn't fucking stopping even if an entire crowd was watching. Reaching up with one hand, I pulled his hands from the wall, and his body fell forward against the brick. With more leverage, I was able to rock my hips and penetrate him even deeper.

"Fuck," I groaned, my cock throbbing with need. My breath accelerated as my short thrusts continued with force. His cheek lay against the red brick, his eyes closed and brows furrowed as I pounded him. Reaching up, I wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and forced his face against he wall. "Take it, bitch," I groaned in his ears.

With my other hand, I reached down and grabbed his cock, feeling it pulse in my hand, I stroked him a few times, my hand pressed between his body and the wall. When I released him, he moaned loudly in frustration. Harder, I pushed his body flush with the wall, the abrasive concrete scraping the flesh of his cock, giving him the friction he needed to come.

"Shit," he cried out as I felt his ass spasm around my length. I shoved him hard, my hand back on his neck keeping him still as I fucked him. A few thrusts later and I felt my balls tighten. Clenching my eyes, I slammed into him one last time before keeping myself there, deep in his ass as my cock erupted inside him, surrounded by his warmth.

It felt so fucking good.

With my forehead between his shoulder blades, I slowly caught my breath and pulled myself from him. Stripping the condom off, I threw it on the ground and shook the remainder of my cum from my cock before sticking it back into my pants.

Riley sighed, and turned around, his pants still down around his ass, his cock dripping with cum. His hand went to his cheek to rub the scrape there. I smiled when I saw the tiny drops of red blood on his hand.

"Fuck, man, if you want to keep doing this, you can't hurt the goods," he eyed me.

Buttoning up my pants, I glanced up at him. "Yeah, like people fucking care about your face, asshole."

He glared up at me. "Fuck you." I reached down and grabbed his limp, sensitive cock. "I'd say it was more like I fucked you." He hung his head back and let a small moan through his parted lips. Suddenly, I had the urge to lean down and kiss him. I had never really kissed much, I tried to avoid it as much as possible. But standing there staring at his full lips, I wanted nothing more than to feel them against mine.

Wrapping my hand around the back of his neck again, I fisted his hair and pulled him to me, learning down I pressed my lips to his. Gasping, he grabbed my shirt and returned the kiss with force, his tongue readily begging to enter. Surprising myself, I allowed him in, shuddering at the sensation when his tongue twisted with mine.

We stood there like that, our lips bruising each other as they met over and over again, his pants down around his hips, his cock still hanging out as he ground his hips against mine. When I felt my overused cock twitch, I pulled my lips from his. He continued to rub against me.

"Don't you want to fuck me again?" he asked, his hands clenching my shirt. Pushing him back to the wall, I leaned against him.

"Yes. But I say when and where." I bit his bottom lip before releasing him completely. His cock had become hard again and was leaking as I touched the head with my fingertips. "Do up your fucking pants," I ordered. Obeying, he quickly shoved himself inside, hissing at the contact, and then did his pants up. Winking, he brushed by me and headed out the alley.

Looking at the wall, I saw his cum slowly dribbling down the dirty bricks. Satisfied, I turned and headed out the alley behind him.

"Remember?" his husky voice brought me back, and I realized his lips had made their way down my neck and were now fused to my collarbone as he held my shirt opened.

"We can't," It was all I could say, my body was practically screaming at me to take advantage of the opportunity to sink my cock deep into his ass.

Murmuring against my skin, he tried to reason with me. "Why not? I bet all your _clients_ fuck you, don't you want to fuck me? You used to."

Fuck yes I used to, and it felt fucking good.

Then his lips were back on mine, his hand inside my opened pants, his palm flattened against my growing erection. I couldn't help but buck up into his touch. Wanting to feel more, feel him against me, I reached for the shirt he was wearing, pushing the soft cotton up, I let my hands roam over his abdomen and up his chest, stopping when I felt his ribs.

_Shit_.

I couldn't go through with it. I had been hot and full of fucking primal need, but my thoughts turned to ones of pity instead of ones of desire.

Feeling my cock twitch instinctively in his hand, he stopped kissing me and leaned his forehead on my shoulder. "See? I know how to make you feel good. I know just what to do."

_Because you're a fucking professional_.

Even as I nodded, I removed my hand from his chest and put them on his wrist, taking his hand from my cock. I felt a wet spot on my briefs from the leaking precum.

"I can't fuck you, Rile," I sighed.

He tried to hide it, but I could see the rejection in his eyes before he quickly covered it up. "Why not?"

"I've got a client later."

_Edward Cullen._

He nods, leaning back against the plush leather of the couch, as far away from me as he could get. "I get it. Another fucking high priced john, right?"

I pushed my hips up and buttoned my pants. "You know if you weren't so fucked up all the time, you might be able to do this too?"

Snorting, he rubbed his red eyes. "No thanks, no fucking woman is going to tell me what to fucking do."

Frustrated in many ways, I stood up, and felt my erection strain against my pants. "Listen, I have a few things to do, but you're welcome to stay for a bit. Eat some more, sleep. Just don't steal."

"No thanks, I gotta get going." He stood as well.

"Pressing date?" I teased.

"Unlike you, no." He glanced around the living room. "Where are my clothes?" The high that had been in his eyes before, that glazed-over haze I had seen him wondering in many times had started to clear. It was being slowly replaced by a restless and jittery look.

He was coming down from whatever high he had been on.

"Oh, I put them in the wash. Let me get them." I went to the dryer and pulled them out. When I returned to the living room, he was standing there naked, my clothes tossed onto the chair. Seeing his thin form, so different from Peter's, made me want him a bit more. I knew it wasn't just his ass I wanted, but the force at which I knew I could have it. Tossing his clothes to him, I went into the kitchen while he dressed. I grabbed a bag and combed through my refrigerator for some food to give him, some apples, oranges, container of potato salad, some deli meats and cheese. I also tossed in some rolls and chips.

I walked back into the living and he looked up at me, dressed in his clothes once again, but now they were clean and smelled of fabric softener. "Where the fuck is it?"

"What?"

"My shit. What the fuck did you do with my shit?" He was livid.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Fucking liar," he called me out on it. Running his hands through his hair, he gripped at the ends and shook his head. "I need that shit, man. I fucking need it."

I grabbed his hands and took them from his hair. "No, you don't. You are so much better without it."

His voice was weak and tired. "I just need it, you know how bad it is out there."

"Yeah, bu-"

"I need it to forget. Please," he begged, his hands clenching mine with a strength I didn't realize he had.

"Sorry, Rile," I apologized. I wasn't sorry I had taken his shit, but I was sorry his life sucked so much he needed to be high to even wake up. "Here, take some food."

"I don't want your fucking food," he spat at me.

"Please," I sighed, it was my turned to plead. I saw the mood shift in him as he realized I was trying to help.

Taking it from my hand, he whispered. "Thanks," before heading for the door. Following him, I forced my eyes to not stare at his ass. Turning, he lifted his head to kiss me again, but stopped. "Oh, right, a_ client_ later," he hissed. He was out my door before I could even say goodbye.

As I heard him head down the hallway, I slid the locks closed and went to my window. Standing in the warm beams of sunlight, I waited for him to exit the building. When he did, I saw him biting into an apple. He turned and headed left up the street before ducking into an alley.

Probably to score more shit.

"**~~**"

"Evening, Sir," Aro greeted me as he held the door open. I nodded and climbed in, my mind still scattered from the afternoon's events. Riley's visit had unnerved me. Once again, I was constantly looking over my shoulder, expecting any minute to see James there with a wicked smile on his face. I sighed in relief as Aro pulled away from the curb. I felt safer with clients.

Peter especially.

Aro remained quiet during the drive, leaving me to close my eyes and rest while he weaved through the traffic.

After Riley had left, I had gone to the gym, and come home. I had wanted nothing more than to take a nap, but my mind wouldn't slow down enough to allow me that privilege. I was beyond exhausted by the time I had stepped into the shower, even keeping it on cold in an attempt to wake me up. As I had dressed in the navy Armani, I wondered why the specific request for that suit.

At least it wasn't a white silk toga.

Thirty minutes later, we pulled up to the Renaissance. What was it about that hotel? Were there no other suitable hotels in Seattle? Aro had taken the long way there, allowing me more time to rest, I smiled my thanks to him in the mirror before he got out to open my door.

"Mr. Cullen is in suite five. I'll be here when you're through," he held out his fist for our ritual. Hitting it with my own, I murmured thanks and headed into the hotel.

Leaning against the elevator wall, I pressed the button for the top floor and quickly checked my reflection in the gold doors. Other than a slight shadowing under my eyes, I looked perfect.

Briefly, I recalled admiring a beautiful man the same way in the same elevator a few weeks prior.

Fuck, he had been hot. My cock twitched just at the memory.

The doors opened and I headed down the very familiar hallway to the suites. Standing before number five, I straightened out my jacket, popped a mint in my mouth, ran my hand through my unruly waves, and put my game face on.

Showtime.

Reaching up, I knocked twice, smirking when I heard the shuffling behind the door.

My smirk was quickly wiped off my face when the door opened to reveal my client.

Fuck.

It was _him_.

The beautiful man from the elevator stood before me with a very satisfied, smug smile on his face. I attempted to recover myself quickly, to close my open mouth, hide the shock in my eyes, but I failed miserably. Debating on whether or not to acknowledge my recognition, I let instinct take over.

Coincidence was something I questioned, however fate, being in the right place at the right time, was something I believed in. Somehow, I was in the right place at the right time.

And so was he.

Fate had given us a chance weeks ago and we had blown it, yet, here I was once again staring at his gorgeous face. I thanked whatever had brought him back into my life, even more so, giving me the opportunity to be fucked by him.

I had to admit, as fucking hot as he was, I was honestly disappointed. In the elevator weeks ago impeccably dressed with fiery red hair, I had seen him as the ideal, perfect even. Not only in looks, but attitude and manner, the way he had handled the desk girls fawning over him, the way he had returned my admiring stare, and the way he commanded those around him who would just stop and stare as he walked by.

Yet, if I was standing in his doorway, he must be deeply flawed, as I had come to learn all my clients were in some way.

The longer I stood there, the more his smile faded and an anxious look took over. "Mr. Cullen?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Ye…yes. Jasper?" he stuttered. Nodding, I held out my hand and he hesitantly took it.

There is no love at first sight.

There _is_ fucking attraction at first sight.

I knew desire. I was a fucking master at it. Knowing, it, experiencing it, and even faking it.

With Mr. Cullen, it was more than attraction. It was more than one body desiring another in every way. There was something unexplainable I felt when our skin make contact, some unfamiliar knot in my stomach that felt like I had fucking hummingbirds in there instead of butterflies.

It was an unexplainable primal pull.

And it fucking scared the shit out of me.

Regaining some of his initial confidence, he let go of my hand and motioned me inside his suite. Suite five was very similar to suite three with the exception of a different color scheme. I saw a laptop on the dark desk, a perfectly made bed and heard some classical music streaming through the sound system. After shutting the door behind me, he quickly headed for the bar, picking up a full glass of whiskey and downing it in one gulp before turning to me.

"Would you like a drink?"

I shook my head. "No thank you," I answered, smiling at his nervousness. As he poured himself another glass, I openly stared at him.

He had suit pants on but no jacket, and while his Ralph Lauren shirt was tucked in, it was undone and minus a tie. Even in his uneasiness he stood regally, with squared shoulders and straight back, and I realized he was only a few inches shorter than me. His body was incredible, but it was his face that was a true work of art. Each feature so unique they complimented each other in ways that could steal your breath.

That fiery copper hair mussed from his hands, eyes that resembled the color of green apples, faint with spots of emerald speckled throughout, were framed with long, thick lashes a few shades darker than his hair. Full lips that would look fantastic wrapped around my cock, a strong nose and fucking delicious unshaven square jaw. I licked my lips as he swallowed the amber liquid and his Adam's apple bobbed.

I wanted to suck it.

And it wasn't the only part of his body I wanted to suck.

Setting the glass on the bar top, I saw him run his fingers across it as he smiled. I was assaulted with images of what I could do to him on that marbled top. It was an ideal height.

"Mind if I take off my jacket?" I asked, unbuttoning it.

"Don't stop with the jacket," he murmured, watching my every move with an intensity that unnerved me, but I couldn't help but smirk at his unexpected forwardness. After tossing my jacket onto a chair, I stared at him as I loosened my tie and let it join my jacket. One by one, I undid the buttons of my shirt, barely at the last one before he took two strides toward me and was pushing my hands away and undoing it himself.

Gasping, he tilted his head up and pressed his lips to mine and my knees weakened.

If I had sparks with Peter, then I had fucking inferno with Edward.

It was immediate, the flames that had flickered through me when he was near fucking roared as soon as his lips met mine. Instantly, my hands were in his hair, satisfying their curiosity of its texture as the soft strands slid through my fingers. Vaguely, as his tongued entered my mouth, I felt his hands pushing my shirt off my shoulders. Moaning into the kiss, I pulled him closer, trying to get more of him.

Trying to get anything.

Our tongues furiously swirled around each other, and I felt his body begin to tremble with anticipation. As I released his hair, I realized he wasn't the only one shaking.

With Peter, undressing was slow and methodical, part of our seduction.

There was no seduction with Edward. Instead, we gripped shirts, unbuttoned pants, pulled and tugged and practically tore the clothes off each other, letting them pile up in a mess of Armani and Ralph Lauren on the floor. Our lips only left each other when we were forced to part to remove another piece of clothing.

I had never had the need to completely devour someone as I did him at that moment. We had barely spoken, were already completely naked, and I was guiding him back to the bed with my hands on his hips. Pushing him down, I watched as he fell back onto the bed, his cock slapping against his stomach with the movement. He looked up at me, licking his lips as he reached out to pull me on top of him. Not resisting, in fact there was nothing I wanted fucking more than to feel his naked body completely against mine as he moved beneath me. I fell on top of him, my lips finding his instantly.

The inferno only grew hotter as our cocks touched for the first time, rolling my hips, I rubbed my slickening cock against his and couldn't help the long moan that escaped me. I had never been so hard in my life, even Peter teasing me with the tie didn't compare to the ache I felt with Edward. Not wanting to embarrass myself by coming too soon, I left his lips and worked my way down his jaw and neck, exploring every inch, relishing in the feeling of his abrasive scruff against my lips. Shifting my weight off him, I nibbled my way to his collarbone, keeping a hand in his hair while the other constantly investigated his body, categorizing each and every reaction I got from him.

The way he moaned when my fingers brushed over his hipbone and up the inside of his thigh.

The way his hand clenched when I bit the soft skin of his neck.

The way he said 'fuck' when my rubbed my cock against him.

He writhed below me, raking his nails down my back, and he arched up as my teeth grazed his nipple, his hands weaving almost painfully tightly into my hair. I knew he was having just as difficult time a not coming as I was.

"That's it, baby…let me make you feel good," I muttered, releasing my grip on his hair and kissing my way down his stomach, stopping to circle his navel with my tongue, his skin pebbling with goose bumps. Proud of myself when I felt his stomach muscles ripple under my touch, I smiled.

He was as fit as I had suspected he was.

Nuzzling his cock with my nose, I inhaled his musky scent as he cried out. He tried to move, seeking more of my touch, but my hands on his hips held him firm. Frustrated, he murmured a few obscenities. I felt my own cock pulse but denied the urge to reach down and touch myself. Instead, I knelt between his legs, running my hands up and down his thighs.

"Just one second, baby," I said as I reached over his body and grabbed the lube and condoms he had set out on the table next to the bed. Resuming my position, I reached down and began stroking his cock, watching his face as it contorted with pleasure. "How do you want me?"

Breathlessly, he replied, "I would prefer you inside me if you don't mind."

My night had gotten impossibly better. Not only was I in the same room, fucking naked with the most gorgeous man I had ever seen, but he wanted _me_ to fuck _him_.

Perhaps there was a God.

Grinning widely, I let go of him and placed my hands on either side of his shoulders, leaned over and nipped the corner of his jaw. "Mmm that can definitely be arranged. Now since that's out of the way," I paused, sliding my body down his until his cock was just inches from my mouth. " I have more time to focus on his beautiful instrument here." Learning forward, I placed a firm kiss on the tip of his cock.

Fuck, he even tasted good.

"Fuck," he moaned, and I could tell he was already on the edge, his senses on overload much like mine were.

"Let's see where you're most sensitive," I murmured before seizing his cock in my hand and looking at him through my lashes. Giving him one long lick from the base to the tip with the flat of my tongue, I felt his cock twitch in my grasp. "Oh, we can do better than that," I smirked, swirling my tongue around the head before using the tip to nudge the ridge on the underside of his shaft. A low moan formed in the back of his throat and I felt his toes curl against my legs as he resisted the urge to grab my head and force himself into my mouth. "Hmm, I'm getting warmer…."

As soon as the words had left me, I pointed my tongue and dipped it into his slit, flicking it back and forth quickly.

"Oh, God," he gasped, his hips undulating involuntarily.

Apparently, he had found God as well.

"There we go," I smiled, satisfied. I pulled back and swear he whined. "Just relax. I'll take care of you," I promised as I hovered over him, bracing one elbow against the bed while the other pinched his nipple and I kissed his neck gently. Moving my hand from his chest, I reached next to me and popped the lube open. As I placed soft kisses down his throat, I drizzled a few drops of lube over his balls. His hips bucked up, and I chuckled. Putting the bottle back down, I let my fingers gather the lube before moving to the smooth skin below his sac, circling his entrance before I pushed forward, slowing inching inside. When I felt his muscles constrict, I knew he was close.

On the outside, I was a consummate professional, bringing nothing but pleasure to my client. The inside, however, was an entirely different story. Along with my throbbing cock, my heart raced in my chest so fast I thought I was having an anxiety attack. It wasn't just gentle flutters, but a pounding that literally made it feel like it was going to burst from my chest. Attempts to calm myself were of no use, my muscles were tense and I felt like I had had about forty cups of coffee. In the dark of the room, he couldn't see the struggle in my eyes as I tried to keep myself under control.

I wondered if he could feel the affect he was having on me. I wondered if he felt the constant quivers traveling through me.

While I continued to ready him, I made my way down his chest. I desperately wanted to kiss him again, but knew as soon as I felt his tongue with mine, he would wearing my cum. Instead, I teased his nipples with my teeth as I added a second finger to the first.

"Jasper…Jasper…Jasper…" he repeated over and over as I worshipped his body. Licking the defined lines of chest and stomach, I stopped at his hipbone. I felt the tension in his body, the coil wound so tightly it was ready to spring. Fucking him with my fingers, I finally took his cock into my mouth, taking in his entire length a few times before quickly releasing him, grabbing him with my hand and sticking my tongue in his slit again.

When I felt his cock jerk forcefully, I took him into my mouth again and felt his hands in my hair. Holding my head still, I let him fuck my mouth, his hips lurching up off the bed over and over again until the head tapped the back of my throat and the first spurt of his cum erupted and dribbled down my throat. Fisting my hair, he arched up and cried out as ecstasy washed over him and wave after wave of hot fluid shot into my mouth. Continuing to swallow around him, prolonging his pleasure, his body became tight, his muscles trembling with repeated aftershocks. Finally sated, he fell back and I released his softening cock from my mouth and kissed my way back up his stomach, licking the salty sheen of sweat that had gathered on his pale skin.

"Oh my God," he mumbled, his breath coming in short, rough pants. Lifting his shoulders and head off the bed, he pulled my lips to his, searching for his taste.

"It's about to get a lot better," I promised with a wink. "Can you handle it?"

"Bring it on," he chuckled. Rising to my knees again, I grabbed a condom and tore it open. Sliding it down my shaft, I felt uncomfortable under the intensity of his stare.

I had been fucked…a lot. But I had only fucked two men in my life, and neither of them had been clients, and I couldn't have given a shit about making it feel good for them. Usually when a guy hired me, it was to have a tight hole for his dick.

It was the first time I was fucking for someone entirely for their pleasure. The pit in my stomach grew as he stared at me with expectation I feared I wouldn't live up to. Never had I seen myself so desired in someone's eyes, and the feeling consumed me.

Nervously, I stroked myself. "How do you want me to fuck you?"

Something told me he wasn't going to say against the brick wall in an alley.

"Here in the bed, like this," he spread his legs wide for me. "I want to watch you."

"You like watching yourself get fucked?" I asked and he nodded, and I made a mental note for later. I held my finger out to him. Watching me under his lashes, he sucked it into his mouth, lavishing it with his tongue before I pulled it out and immediately entered his ass with it. While his body was still relaxed from his orgasm, I pulled my finger out and positioned my cock at his entrance, moaning as his body tightly welcomed me inch by inch. Going much slower than my body screamed for, I gripped his knees, keeping his legs wide for me as I watched myself enter him.

I had never seen anything so fucking erotic in my life.

His muscles stretched to accommodate me, contracting around me so tightly I felt the pulse in my cock. One of his hands rested on my forearm, his nails digging into my flesh while his other hand ran up and down his chest and stomach.

"Fuck," he hissed through clenched teeth. With half of my cock in the embrace of his ass,

I stopped, unsure if I was hurting him. I ached to push forward and shove myself deep inside him. "Please, don't stop," he begged, gripping my arm so tight his knuckles began to turn white. Sighing in relief, I allowed my hips to slowly move forward until I was fully seated in him.

Looking down, I saw myself completely sheathed by him and even with all the people I had been with, I had never felt as fucking amazing as I did right then. When I heard him moan, I forced my eyes up to his and saw him watching us too. Instinctively, I began to slowly pull almost all the way out, only to push back in. He looked up at me, and our eyes met.

Watching him as I began rhythmically thrusting and in out of his velvet warmth, I felt my heart skip a beat at the vulnerability I suddenly felt. I had been scared before, I had been threatened before, but nothing frightened me as much as being so exposed as I felt when he looked at me. It was as if he was reading my internal thoughts, as if he knew every worry and fear I had had ever had, things that had remained buried and protected for so long were suddenly being uncovered by his green eyes.

I wanted to flip him over, so I couldn't see his face, pretend he was just another fuck, another nameless faceless fuck when my gut was telling me he was anything but.

"Edward," I heard myself whisper. It was the first time I had spoken his first name and was shocked at the ease with which it fell from my lips, as if I had called it out every night for a thousand nights. When he heard his name, something flickered in his eyes, something knowing, something that told me he felt it too.

Each time I rocked my hips, a look of bliss crossed his face as I hit a spot deep inside him. Reaching down, I wrapped my fingers around his cock and stroked him a few times. Feeling him grow harder with each pump of my hand, I stilled my pelvis and concentrated on stroking him. He lifted his ass off the bed to fuck my hand, precum seeped from his slit, and I slickened his cock with it. Resuming my thrusts, I timed them with my strokes, concentrating on how good he felt in my hand instead of how good my cock felt inside him.

"Fuck me, Jasper," he groaned, and it was my undoing. I felt the burn begin in my balls, and they tightened as the fire spread through my abdomen. "Harder, fuck me harder."

I held his hip with one hand and slammed forcefully into him just as he had asked, hoping to hold off for a few more thrusts.

"Is that what you want?" I asked, my breath coming out in large gasps.

"I want you," he replied simply.

He wanted _me_.

My head lolled back as I came, cum jettisoning from me in quick bursts as my orgasm exploded through my body with a force I had never experienced before. Every muscle shuddered and visibly shook as the euphoric waves ebbed over me. Wrapping his legs around my waist, he restricted my movements, keeping me deep in him as I rode out the last ripples of rapture. When I opened my clenched eyes, I felt his hips bucking up; I had forgotten I was still holding his cock in my hand.

"You want to come again, Edward?"

Biting down on his lip so hard I thought it might bleed, he nodded. His hands on my thighs, I continued to stroke him, pumping his cock at a furious pace as I watched him wantonly chase his second orgasm. When he started to moan, and I saw the muscles of his stomach tighten, I reached for his hand that was on my leg. Taking it, I entwined my fingers with his, holding tightly as he called out my name and came again. His creamy fluid flowed warm and thick from his cock and down over my hand. The spasms of his ass contracted around my softening cock, milking every last drop from me.

Watching myself enter his ass had been erotic. Watching him cum while I was still inside him was surreal, the feelings it evoked, not only physically, but emotionally.

I had reached for his hand and held it as he came.

I had never even held someone's hand before, much less during such an intimate moment. However, nothing had ever felt more natural.

He lay back on the bed, his eyes closed, his chest heaving, his cock dripping the last of his sweet cum onto his curls as he sighed with contentment.

His hand still in mine.

Motionless, I waited, not wanting to lose the connection I felt. As much as it scared me, it thrilled me. It had caused me to come far sooner than any professional should, but it had also brought about the most intense orgasm I had ever experienced. I felt drained, weak, and oddly energetic at the same time. Afraid to move, I remained in him, his thumb rubbing my hand as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled up at me.

"Fuck, that was amazing," he complimented, and I shivered at his voice, its silky tone soothing my ragged nerves.

I wanted to say something cool, confident and sexy. Instead I let go of his cock and brought my hand to my lips. His breath hitched when my tongue darted out to lick his cum off my hand.

"Shit, that's fucking hot," he murmured, his eyes following every movement of my tongue and hand.

"Mmmm, tastes good too," was all I could manage.

His hand was still in mine.

He seemed satisfied and I took solace in the fact that I one of my best skills as an escort was that I had practically zero recovery time, and knew I'd be ready to go again in a few minutes. Gripping myself, I slid myself from him, and removed the condom. When I went to release his hand, he asked "Where are you going?"

I held up the condom, "I'll be right back."

After I tossed it in the trash, I turned back to him and found him sprawled across the bed on his back, a look of pure bliss covered not only his face but his entire body as he gradually came down from his orgasmic high. In the moonlight that entered the room in wide beams through the window, he looked like a god carved of clay. Even the small imperfections that made him real were hidden in the blue glow.

"Come here" he whispered and I realized his eyes were studying me as intently as mine had been doing to him. Obeying, I went to him and fell into his welcoming embrace

Together we lay, our limbs entwined and wrapped around each other as we mutually shuddered and trembled with remnants of our climaxes.

"How long?" I didn't need to ask more, he knew what I meant.

"Six hours," he sighed, a twinge of sadness in his voice.

Glancing at the clock, I felt the same wave of sadness.

Four more hours.

The countdown had begun.

"Do you want to shower?"

"Not yet, just lay with me," he requested.

Whatever the client wants.

Laying his head on my chest, he wrapped an arm around my waist, his leg slung over mine.

Skin was stroked, hair was fingered, and lips were kissed.

But no words were spoken for two hours.

When I felt him growing hard against my hip, I pulled away from his lips. "Want to shower now?"

Knowing the suites as well as I did, I had something in mind. Something briefly crossed his features, and he grinned.

"Yes, I do," he answered, practically jumping out of the bed and running to the bathroom. I heard the shower running before I reached the door and found him testing the water with his hand.

He was as beautiful in the light of the bathroom as he was in the darkness of the bedroom. Pale skin covered taut muscles as he stretched to reach the water in the large shower. My eyes roamed his body, from his muscled calves and long legs to a perfectly curved ass to his sculptured chest, wide shoulders and finally, his beautiful face.

He really was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

And I wanted to watch that face while I fucked him.

"You ready?" he asked, holding out a hand. He seemed very eager to get me into the shower.

"I want to do something first," I told him. Taking his hand, I pulled him to me, turning him so his back was to my chest. Holding his hips, I turned us so we were facing the counter directly in front of Edward. Looking in the mirror, I saw a knowing smile on his face. I let go of his hip with one hand and ran it up his back to his shoulder, where I pushed him forward to bend over the counter. Reaching around him, I grabbed the lube and condom I had brought in with me. After I put the condom on, I slathered lube over my cock. He stood perfectly still while he waited for me, the only hint of his excitement was the short panting breaths that had begun to escape his body in anticipation. Probing his ass with my slick fingers, I readied him as he stood before me with his legs spread, palms on the marble counter top, and his head hung low.

Without warning, I pulled my hand back and smacked his ass. Jumping at the contact, he cried out. Gently, I rubbed the red mark my hand left behind as I continued to finger him.

"Now, please," he whispered in a low voice. Convinced he was ready, I removed my fingers and held his hips as I slowly entered him again.

It felt just as fucking incredible as it had the first time.

Stopping, I waited until I heard him exhale before I pushed forward.

Tight, warm, slick…amazing.

With him bent over the counter, I was able to penetrate him deeply, my cock searching for his prostate with each thrust. I kept one hand on his hip, keeping him fused to me, while my other hand ran up and down his back, grazing over his muscles as they flexed under his alabaster skin working to accept the pleasure the intrusion of my body was bringing him. Weaving my fingers into his hair, I fisted it tightly and pulled his head back.

"Look at us," I demanded. "Watch me fuck you, Edward." His eyes glanced at mine in the mirror, and then he looked down our reflection to where I was entering him.

"Fuck," he murmured, pushing his ass back against me as he widened his stance. "Harder."

Watching his reaction, I picked up the pace, both hands on his hips to still him as I pounded into him feverishly. I saw his tongue lick his lips, I saw his fingers trying to grasp the cool marble counter, I saw lust laden lids half covering green eyes glazed over with a thick lust.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he repeated, his breath heavy as he clawed with shaking fingers for anything to offer him leverage. "So fucking good, so fucking good. Please make me come, I need to come, please, please…."

I made him like that. I made him lose control.

_Me._

I felt empowered with the realization that he wanted me, that he was as affected by me as I was by him.

"No, you can't come yet," I told him. His head snapped up and his eyes met mine in the mirror. Taking one hand from his hip, I moved it to his chest and forced him to stand upright, his body flushed with mine. Splaying my hand across his chest, I kept him tightly to me as I continued to enter him. Movement in the mirror caught my eye and I looked down to see Edward's aroused cock bouncing and swinging with every thrust, his need evident in the reddening head.

"Touch me, please," he begged when he saw me watching his cock.

"Just watch me fuck you. Watch my cock fuck your tight ass, so slick and warm. Fucking perfect. Do you like me fucking you, Edward? You like my cock in your ass?" I moaned and groaned out the words as my need to have him tell him how much he wanted me grew. I could see it, but I needed to hear it.

"Yes, I like you fucking me," he whispered before taking one hand and wrapping it around my neck behind him, his fingers gripping my hair as I pushed us forward with each buck of my hips. I was close, my cock throbbed as a tingling had started to form in my balls.

"Fuck," I whispered, overwhelmed, I put my forehead on his shoulder, dragging my tongue along his salty skin. I felt his fingers weave with mine on his chest as he held our hands over his heart.

"Gonna come," I whimpered against his moist skin.

"Look at me," he demanded in a soft voice. The warmth was spreading through my lower abdomen and I forced my head up and looked at our reflection in the steam covered mirror.

His sweaty naked body moving as I fucked him, his hand clutching mine over his heart, his arm around my neck as he held my waves in his tight fist, his eyes as they watched me, wanted me. My climax ripped through me, coating every nerve with pleasure as my cock spurt into him. Never taking my eyes off his as I continued to come in him in pulsing bursts, I grunted. "Fucking most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he whispered. Using the hand in my hair, he turned my head, his lips opening as they met mine, his tongue already invading my willing mouth. I felt myself still inside him, but in my post orgasmic fog, I wanted nothing more than to kiss and hold him. My eyes drifted closed as our lips met again and again.

When he moaned into the kiss, I felt his hand leave his chest. Opening my eyes, I saw him stroking himself. Immediately, I reached down and stopped him.

"Let me take care of that," I offered. Slipping from his warmth, I removed the condom and tossed it in the trash. Then I took his hand, opened the shower stall and pulled him in. As soon as he was under the stream of hot water, I knelt before him as his cock extended proudly from his body.

Gasping, his hands went to my hair, fingering the wet curls before pushing them off my face. Looking at up at him through my lashes, I stuck my tongue out and languidly licked his shaft from base to tip. His fucking entire body shuddered powerfully.

"Are you for real?" he murmured so quietly I wasn't sure if he knew he had said it out loud. As I took him into my mouth, wrapping my lips firmly around his wet, hard cock, he lolled his head back and let out a long groan. "Ugh, fuck, Jasper."

With his cock encased in my mouth and my hands on his ass, I began to bob my head up and down, my tongue flickering over his satin skin. His body protected me from the spray of water, and I watched it run down him as I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked.

"Fuck me," he cried out. Sliding one hand along his ass, I brought it around to his heavy balls and fondled them, tugging his sac as I took him even deeper into my mouth. "Jesus fucking Christ," he moaned when his head hit the back of my throat. Releasing him, I moved my mouth to his velvety balls and took one into my mouth, suckling it before moving on to the other. Wet and hot, they smelled musky.

"Do you like fucking my mouth?" I asked as my tongue fluttered along the inside of his thigh. He spread his legs wider, allowing me more room. He moaned. "Answer me," I mumbled against his hipbone.

"You have no idea how much I like fucking your mouth," he replied with uneven breaths.

"Then show me." I placed a kiss on the head of his cock and rest back on my heels. Stepping forward, he gripped the base of his cock in his hand and slapped the head against my cheek a few times. Hard and heavy it hit me, and I loved it. Closing my eyes, I tilted my head back and let him slap me with it.

"Open," he demanded.

I opened my mouth wide for him and with hands on both sides of my head, he entered my mouth forcefully, shoving himself deep inside. Embracing him tightly with my lips, I let him fuck my mouth, my tongue swirling along the underside of his cock with each of his thrusts. With my hands resting lightly on his thighs, he fucked my mouth so hard that I felt my lips begin to swell. As his hips rhythmically bucked into my mouth, I looked up at him with water running down my face, his cock filling my mouth, my hair and lashes wet and clumping together. My own cock hung heavy and limp and used between my legs.

"Fucking so much better than I imagined," he whispered. Relaxing my throat, I took him deeper, tears welled in my eyes as I held off a gag. I tasted his precum on my tongue and moaned around him, the vibration from it pushing him over the edge. "Fuck," he called out, gripping my hair tighter. "Fucking gonna come, ugh," he growled as I felt the first shot of his climax enter my mouth and slide down my throat as I swallowed around him. In ecstasy, he titled his head back, allowing the water to directly spray down on me. Closing my eyes as it hit my face, I felt him pulse and jerk inside my mouth as his cum continued to erupt from his cock in powerful bursts. He pulled himself from my mouth and gripped my arms, pulling me up. As soon as I was standing, his mouth was on mine, his tongue sweeping through my mouth for his taste as his hand went to my ass and he ground his hips into mine, our limp and exhausted cocks rubbing together.

Pulling away, he rested his forehead against mine as the water beat down on his back. Running his fingers ran down my face, he muttered, "Again."

There were limits to my skills. I was fine with going again, but I was going to require a few minutes at very least.

I didn't know what he meant, and went to pull away to ask, but he put a finger over my lips, stopping me. Without another word, we washed each other from head to feet, our bodies covered in suds as our hands roamed freely, discovering every inch.

Finally, we made it back to the bed, both of us practically collapsing on it. Facing each other, we lay on our sides, our legs entwined. With his hand on my waist, I felt his thumb strumming my skin and I shivered from the simple intimate act. My heart raced at his nearness, and I swore if the room had been silent, he would have heard it pounding. Glancing at the clock, I noted the time.

One hour.

"You're amazing," he said as his finger traced my bottom lip.

Another satisfied customer.

Only he wasn't the only one satisfied.

"May I ask you something?" I asked hesitantly. He nodded and watched my lips as I spoke." I suspect my being here isn't a coincidence."

"No, it's not," he sighed.

"How did you find me? I mean, the elevator…." Neither of us had openly admitted that we recognized the other.

Blushing, he looked away. "I found you on the website. I've been using the service for my past few visits to Seattle, and while he was good, I was looking for something a bit more like…"

"Like?" I hedged when he paused.

"Like you," he finally admitted, forcing his eyes to mine.

It was my turn to blush.

"So I went to the website to see my options, and when I saw your pictures, I cancelled Jake and scheduled you."

Jake? Must have been one of my colleagues.

"Best fucking decision of my life," he said in a satisfied tone before brushing his lips along mine gently.

It was sweet and tender.

It was unlike anything I had ever known before.

"Did you recognize me?" I had to know.

"As the guy from the elevator?" he asked and I nodded. "Yes, but not only from the elevator." I furrowed my brows trying to recall when I had seen him again and came up empty. "You didn't see me, but last night, I was in the bar downstairs waiting for…an appointment," he smirked before continuing. "And I saw you there."

I had been waiting for Peter. He had called and said he was going to be late, and to meet him in the bar. "Did you see…." I didn't finish and he nodded his head.

"Yes. I had assumed he was your partner, so I was pleased when I saw I could have you too," he answered.

I couldn't explain why but his words stung.

Did he assume that I couldn't have partner because of my job, or did he think Peter was too good to be my partner?

His eyes drifted closed as he yawned, and I felt his body relax next to me, completely sated from our night's activities. I was as physically spent as he was and my body craved the rest he was falling into. Lying there, I watched as he quickly succumbed to sleep, his slightly parted lips, his soft sighs of drowsiness, the slight quiver in his muscles as they gradually relaxed.

I looked over his shoulder at the clock.

For the next forty-five minutes, I watched him sleep. Every few minutes I would reach out and delicately touch him, his hair, his shoulders, or arms, afraid that each time I laid my fingers on him, he would fade away. Instead, the corners of his mouth would turn up slightly, or he would release a contented sigh.

With fifteen minutes left, I gently got out of bed without disturbing him and found my clothes. Dressing in the dark, I watched him as I pulled on my pants and buttoned my shirt. Ironically, I looked much how I had the first time I had seen him in the elevator, disheveled, wrinkled and thoroughly satisfied.

Grabbing the pen and paper off the desk, I scribbled a note for him and left it on the table next to the bed. Standing next to the bed, I leaned over and pushed the hair off his forehead before placing a kiss on it.

"Thank you," I whispered before quietly slipping out of the room and closing the door behind me. As I walked down the hall to the elevator, a tightness clenched my heart, an unknown ache gripped me.

The night air was cool and refreshing on my sore and tired body as I exited the building. Aro was waiting by the car and opened the door for me.

"Good Evening, sir, you're right on time," I gave him a small smile and climbed into the back of the car without a word. "Everything alright?" he asked as he got behind the wheel and eyed me in the mirror.

"Yes, everything's fine," I sighed, looking out the window.

It was fucking perfect, right? I had just been paid to fuck and blow the most beautiful man in the world.

So why did I just feel I had discovered the man behind the curtain wasn't the great and powerful Oz after all?

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading! Okay, I know it probably didn't live up to expectations, but remember Jasper is feeling some unknown emotions, and isn't quite sure how to handle them.


	6. Requiem for a Dream

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-Dannie is out of commission for a bit due to some surgery, so to help her out, this Epov was written by Touchstone. We learn a bit about Edward's history, so a few flashbacks--Cullen style.

Huge thanks to Christie for her very quick turn around on this chapter.

A dream within a dream…

"**~~**"

Epov~

Groaning, I rolled over and hit the speakerphone, thanking the desk clerk for my wake up call. Absently, I reached over the other side of the bed and felt around blindly for a warm body, but came up empty handed. I wasn't surprised. There was no reason for him to still be there but part of me had…hoped he would be.

Six hours hadn't been enough time. I never expected for it to be like it was. Unlike with Jake, not every second had been filled with sex, there had been quiet moments with Jasper.

What surprised me was how much I had enjoyed those quiet moments. I had been perfectly content to just lay naked next to him. My time with him had been limited, and yet when he held me close and looked at me, I felt as if time had slowed down.

But it hadn't.

And our time ran out. As soon as we had made it back to the bed, collapsing in our mutual exhaustion, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. Laying there, in his warm embrace, his intense eyes watching me, I had blurted out how amazing he was.

He probably heard it all the time. Part of me knew he was that fantastic with everyone, that I had been no different to him than any other client on any other night.

But deep down, I had seen something. A flicker, a small light of fleeting emotion that seemed to surprise him. It gave him the courage to voice his suspicion about his presence not being a coincidence. I had admitted it was not and explained how I found him on the website and recognized him from the elevator. My last words to him before I succumbed to sleep were how pleased I had been to find out I could have him too.

I don't remember falling asleep or him leaving. Sleeping heavily all night, I hadn't even tossed once as I usually did. Instead, I had lain in the same position, my muscles stiffening with each minute that had passed.

Sighing heavily at the feeling that tugged at me, I buried my face in my pillow. The morning after always brought with it a sense of emptiness, but it was usually only a brief moment of reflection before I moved on. Most of my lovers had been one-night stands; I was used to the morning after feeling.

But this was different. Stronger, emptier than ever before. Allowing myself one more minute to wallow before I glanced at the clock and debated if I could afford the few extra minutes and still make my flight on time.

That was when I saw a piece of paper on the table I hadn't remembered from the night before. Hesitantly, I reached over and picked it up. Written in a messy scrawl were a few words.

_Last night was beautiful. I hope to see you again soon._

_Jasper_

Suddenly, the emptiness didn't feel so empty. Smiling, I rubbed my thumb along the note before bringing it to my face to smell. I hoped for his lingering scent and was disappointed when I only smelled paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have to be satisfied with having him only for a few hours. I could have him again.

And again.

Idly, I wondered what Tanya's policy was on overnight reservations.

Sitting up, I raised my arms above my head, yawning and stretching in an attempt to work out some of the stiffness in my muscles. Once again, I had woken up sore, my body aching in the most delicious way from the previous night's activities. Climbing out of bed, I tenderly made my way to the shower, a smile crossing my face at the ache in the back of my thighs from having held my position over the bathroom counter. I was grinning like a fool by the time I entered the bathroom and started the shower.

I would never look at a shower the same way again.

My fantasy, one that had been the subject of my masturbating for months and months had come true.

And I hadn't even asked. Somehow he had just known. He was intuitive like that; he had known what I needed and when I had needed it.

Of course he had. He was a professional, it was his job to know what I wanted, to anticipate my needs before I did.

Well, he was very good at his job.

I should have tipped him. Next time perhaps.

Once the water was hot enough, I entered the shower and ducked my head under the steamy spray, wetting my hair. As I looked down for the shampoo, I saw him there, on his knees with his blond hair slicked back as he looked up at me with those innocent blue eyes begging for my cock in his mouth. I had had a moment of weakness when he had knelt before me, beautiful in his service as he licked me.

Forgoing the shampoo, I wrapped my hand around my aching cock, gasping at its sensitivity, and began to stroke. Short quick pumps quickly had me sitting on the edge of my orgasm. It wasn't my hand around my cock, it was his glorious mouth, his lush lips tightly wrapped around me as my hips thrust into his willing mouth.

Nothing had felt so good…ever, as his mouth on my cock. It had been so much hotter than the fantasy. At one point, the reality of him had been more than I thought could handle, my heart beating so fast, I was sure he could hear it over the pouring water.

My hand quickened as I chased my climax, wanting to relive the feeling of coming deep in his throat as he swallowed around me. With one hand on my cock, I spread my legs and let my other hand travel to my balls, tugging on the soft, wet skin in time with my strokes.

His mouth on my balls. His hands on my thighs, mine fisting his hair as I shot my load down his….

"Jasper," I cried out as my cock pulsed, releasing my orgasm hard and fast in long bursts of cum. Gasping, I leaned against the tiled wall, letting the tremors in my body slowly die as the evidence of my fantasy washed down the drain.

He even made masturbating more enjoyable.

Realizing my time was limited, I quickly showered, dried off and dressed, barely making it out the door in time to catch the waiting Towncar to take me to the airport.

Making my way through the familiar security check points and gates, I boarded my plane and sat in my seat in first class. As the other passengers loaded, I started up my laptop and opened my email.

A few minutes later, I had a confirmation reply.

The next time I was in town, Jasper would be mine for an entire night.

Closing the computer, I leaned back in my seat, nursing the orange juice and bagel the attendant had brought me, and thought about how far I had come.

Or had not come.

I was still closeted, still living in fear of the disappointment on my father's face if he ever found out- iIt would destroy me. My entire life had been devoted to pleasing him and I had done it well. It might not have been the life I would have chosen, but it was the life that had chosen me, and I would do my best to fulfill his dreams for his son.

Love was something I had begun to accept would never happen to me. There had only been one time I had shown my emotions to another, only one boy that touched me enough to see the real me.

I had been fortunate enough to attend a private boarding school for my high school years. Thousands of miles from my parents, I began to live a life separate from them, searching out the things that truly made me happy.

One of those things was boys.

I wasn't sure when I had realized I preferred boys to girls, I believe it had been a gradual revelation, and one that I kept secret from everyone. Most of us were in single dorm rooms to allow for maximum study conditions, and during my junior year, I was very thankful for the single rooms.

I had been on my way out of the music building after practice and passed a boy playing the piano in one of the rooms. The rooms were soundproof, but each one had a window so you could view the person playing.

Stopping, I watched him in awe. I hadn't recalled seeing him around campus, but we had only been back to school a few weeks. He was taller than me with pure black hair, a bit long and wavy. High cheekbones, full pursed lips, wide shoulders and his lean body all caught my eye. I couldn't hear him, but I could see his passion for the music he was making, his eyes closed, his body swaying with the notes.

He was lost in his music.

I was lost in him.

Suddenly, he stopped and looked at me. Steal gray eyes looked at me with wariness. He motioned to the door and I reached down and opened it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," I immediately apologized.

"Nah, I don't care," he smiled, waving me in. "Close the door."

Shutting the door, I leaned against it and took him in more detail. He had loosened the tie we were all required to wear, his khakis were baggy, and his loafers scuffed. When he caught me admiring him, he smirked and I felt my cock twitch in my pants.

"Do you play?" he asked, turning to straddle the bench and face me. Biting my lip, I nodded. "Want to join me?"

_Hell, yes._

"Sure," I replied coolly, setting my bag down by the door, I walked over the bench. He returned to his position and I sat next to him. The benches were only made for one person so we were touching from knee to shoulder. I felt every movement he made as he began the opening notes of Claire De Lune, the warmth from his body weakened me as the music he played intoxicated me.

I had never felt such completeness before.

My heart raced when the song's tempo changed, and his eyes drifted closed as he swayed. Unable to resist the pull they had on me, my hands instinctively went to the keys, playing the music I knew so well with him.

For over two hours we didn't speak, we only played. Finally, he pulled his hands away from the keys and turned to me.

"Want to get a coffee?" Nodding, I stood up and grabbed my bag.

From that day, every waking moment that I was not in class was spent with Mason. I admired him in every way, his devotion to music, his passion for playing, and his enthusiasm that reached out and touched everyone around him when he spoke about it.

He was living the life I wanted.

I ignored my racing heart every time he was near, or when he would casually take off one shirt to change into another while I was in his presence. I ignored the hardening of my cock when he would sit close, lean over me and let his breath wash over my cheek. I ignored the fact that I wasn't supposed to feel that way about a boy and reveled in our growing closeness.

It was late on a Friday night when we were walking back from the music building together. The snow had begun to fall and we started to jog back to our dorms. About half way there, he turned to me and winked before bursting into a sprint. He was on the track team, I didn't have a chance to keep up with him, but I chased him anyway. Every now and then he would look over his shoulder and taunt me to catch him.

"What's the matter, Cullen, got lead on those shoes?"

Swearing under my breath, I pushed myself faster until he was almost within my reach. Leaping, I caught his jacket and pulled him to the ground. Together we fell, landing with a cushioned thud in the fallen snow. Laughing, even has I yanked him to the ground, he rolled us so he was straddling me. With his knees on either side of my hips, his hands grabbed my wrists and held them above my head.

"All proud of yourself for catching me, huh?" he smirked at me as I beamed up at him in pride.

"As a matter of fact," I laughed.

"You're such an ass, Cullen," he chuckled, shaking his head. Suddenly, he quieted, staring at me. My heart pounded in my chest, and it wasn't from the running.

But from the beautiful boy sitting astride me.

"Mason?" I whispered.

"Sshh," he released a shaky breath as he slowly lowered his lips to mine. Barely touching, he brushed his cold, dry lips across mine and I trembled beneath him. Stilling, he waited for me to stop him. Instead, I lifted my head off the ground and pressed my lips to his. No longer soft grazes of curiosity, they became more insistent, needy and deep. "Jesus, Edward," he murmured into the kiss. His hands released my wrists and he entwined his fingers with mine, clenching my hands tightly as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss even more, his warm tongue tracing my lips, wanting in. Parting my lips, I felt the first velvet touch of his tongue against mine and I gasped at the sensation.

I had never felt anything like it before. I had kissed a few girls, but nothing compared to the way I felt as he held me there while our tongues twisted and explored.

"Do you want to come back to my room?" he asked breathlessly.

I wanted nothing more.

"Yes," I replied, just as breathless. Quickly, he climbed off me and offered a hand to help me up, both of us glancing around the dark campus for other students and sighing in relief when we appeared to be alone.

"Come on," he said as he started to jog again. Less than a minute later, we reached his dorm and made our way to his room. With a shaking hand, he unlocked his door and ushered me inside. The door barely closed before he had pushed me against it, grabbing my coat and pulling it from my shoulders as his lips met mine again, his hips grinding into me, my cock growing with each roll of his hips. With hesitant, but eager touches, we removed our jackets, sweaters and shirts. Taking my hand, he led me to his bed and stood me next to it. While watching my eyes, he kneeled before me and unbuttoned my jeans.

Every part of my brain screamed to 'get the hell out'. Every part of my body screamed 'please, don't stop'.

Lowering my zipper, he licked his lips and tugged my pants down over my hips to my thighs, freeing my erection. Hesitantly, he placed a kiss on the head of my cock before sitting back on his heels.

"I've never done this before…" he mumbled, embarrassed, looking down.

"You don't have to," I said honestly, my fingers in his hair, letting the silky strands fall through them. "Really."

"No, I want to. I just wanted to, ya know, warn you, I might not be very good." Rising to his knees again, he wrapped his fingers around my cock and guided it to his mouth.

My life as I knew it ended when his sweet lips encased the head of my cock and he began to bob his head as his hand stroked me.

"Oh God," I cried out as I thrust my hips forward, gagging him. "Sorry," I whispered as he looked up at me with watery eyes.

It felt amazing, decadent, exciting…right.

"I'm coming," I groaned and felt his mouth leave my cock, but his hand remained, furiously stroking me as my orgasm hit and my cock erupted, cum landing on his shoulder as he leaned to the side. My head lolled back as my hips continued to fuck his hand, my cock pulsing as bursts of cum shot from me. Unable to stand when he released me, I fell back onto the bed behind me, my cock still leaking as it slowly began to soften. "Fuck, I'm so sorry," I said embarrassed, covering my eyes with my arm.

I had lasted all of about a minute.

"What are you apologizing for?" he asked as he climbed onto the bed and lay next to me. He had wiped off his shoulder and hand and offered me the towel.

"For coming so quick," I sighed.

"Are you kidding? That was fucking hot," he grinned. "Did it feel okay?"

"Fuck. Yes. Amazing."

My parents paid over forty thousand dollars a year for my education, and those were the only words I could come up with.

He took my arm and lifted it from my eyes before leaning down to kiss me softly. While the haze of my orgasm fogged my body, he kissed me with such tenderness and care that I felt my heart swell in my chest.

It was then that I knew not only was I attracted to boys, but I wanted a relationship with one.

And that was something that would never happen.

Sadness clutched my heart, battling the happy swell as it felt ready to burst from the conflicted emotions.

My parents had given me everything, and I could not disappoint them by being gay. It was to be my secret alone, something I would have to bury deep inside me, denying myself the pleasure of another's touch and love.

I was expected to graduate, go to college, work for my father, get married, have children and start the vicious cycle all over again. I would do what I was expected to do.

My time with Mason was limited, our tryst was something that could only happen once. Knowing this, I reached down to his khakis and undid the button. Gasping, he pulled away from our kiss.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I had never been more certain of anything. If I was only going to have one night with a boy, I wanted to give him everything I could.

"Yes," I whispered before yanking his pants down and reaching for his erection. Blissfully he rolled onto his back as I lowered my lips to his chest, slowly placing wet open kisses all the way down to his hips. His body never stopped moving under my touch, his muscles quivering, his hips bucking up into my grip. The more I touched him, the more I realized how much he meant to me. When I reached his cock, I glanced up at him and saw him watching me. Reaching up with one hand, he caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers.

"You're so beautiful, Edward," he whispered as he gazed at me.

No one had ever said such words to me. Even my mother had only called me handsome, never beautiful. It was then that I knew that I was more than a friend to him as well. Still, I blushed at his compliment and looked down at his cock before glancing back at him through my lashes as I darted my tongue out to swirl around the head of his cock. He tasted salty, he felt silky and hard. Watching him carefully, I pressed my tongue into his slit and his hips rose off the bed in a hard thrust.

"Oh, God," he moaned, his hands moving to my hair, fisting it tightly. Amazed at the reactions I was getting from him, I did it again. "More," he begged, pushing my head down toward him.

With a deep breath, I opened my mouth and took in his cock. It was awkward at first, the thick, hard flesh filling my mouth as I tried to breath. Keeping my hand wrapped around him as he had me, I began to slide it up and down while keeping my mouth tightly embraced around the top of him. I could feel everything, the veins pulsing with excitement and anticipation, the ridge of his head, and the bitter taste of pre-cum.

"Feels so fucking good," he murmured, his hips never ceasing their movement. Unsure what to do, I let him fuck my mouth, he seemed to enjoy it. "Coming," he almost yelled, yanking my head, he pulled me off him just as his orgasm hit, his cock ejaculating milky fluid as it jerked with each intense wave of his climax.

I watched in awe. I had never seen anyone else come before. The look of pure rapture on his face was in his clenched eyes, parted lips, and flushed cheeks. For a long moment, his body trembled and shook as the last of his climax began to wane.

"Com 'ere," he slurred in ecstasy as he pulled on my arms. Releasing his cock, I slid my body up his until my lips were at his in a deep, erotic kiss, our sated cocks rubbing together as he ground his hips up into mine, seeking friction to extend his orgasm even longer. Breathless, I pulled away and laid my head on his chest. "Thank you," he whispered, his hands running though my hair while my fingers traced a scar on his arm.

"Was it okay?" I asked hesitantly.

"To quote the great Edward A. Cullen, it was amazing." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Have you ever…"

"No, that was my first." I raised my head to look at him. "Have you ever gotten head before?"

Embarrassed, he shook his head. "No, that was my first too," he chuckled. "Couldn't you tell? I lasted about thirty seconds."

"Thirty seconds longer than me," I mumbled, kissing his chin. "We should get cleaned up and dressed," I suggested. "Curfew is in an hour."

As juniors, we had a later curfew than the younger kids, but I still had to check in at my dorm by midnight. Sighing, he nodded and I sat up to grab the towel he had used earlier.

After dressing, we lay on his bed, facing each other, our hands on each other's hips as we sat in silence, both of us thinking about the significance of what had just happened.

"Edward," he finally began, "I don't know about you, but I want to…um… do this again," he finished shyly.

"Me too," I sighed.

_Immediately. _

"Do you…do you want to be my boyfriend?" His voice was uncertain and shaky.

"Boyfriend?" I repeated the foreign term. I had never considered the implications of being with another boy meant having one as a boyfriend. He nodded, looking down. "Yes." I replied without doubt.

Grinning, he leaned in and kissed my forehead. "You should go, it's late," he said sadly. I got up, put on my coat and grabbed my bag. Just as I was about to open his door, he turned me around and kissed me, his lips pressed against mine in an urgent goodbye. As I felt his hands in my hair, I returned his kiss. Slowly, he pulled away.

"See you tomorrow," he promised as I walked through his door and headed for my dorm.

For four months we had a relationship. I don't know if it was love, but it was happy, content and comforting. Just knowing there was another that felt as I did soothed me in many ways. We learned about each other's bodies, although we never had sex, we certainly perfected the art of a good blow job. Mason had the most beautiful lips and found he had a liking for cum, learning to swallow me as I climaxed in his mouth. My talent was easy.

On my knees before him, I would gaze up at him through my messy hair as my hand palmed his balls and I moaned with his cock in my mouth. It never failed to make him come seconds later. Mason and I learned together, exploring what brought us the most pleasure. I found out I loved his fingers lubed and slick in my ass, he found out that he loved having his balls sucked.

When school ended for the summer, we promised to stay in touch and had even made plans to see each other over the summer, but I spent the summer traveling through Europe with my mother and when I returned to school in September, Mason had transferred. Deep down I knew it had been for the best. There was no way we could have ever had what we had in school outside of it. It was a risk neither of us was willing to take.

Not a day went by my senior year that I didn't miss him.

Perhaps it had been love after all.

"Attention passengers, we will be landing at Chicago O'Hare Airport shortly, please prepare by buckling up your seatbelts and stowing your trays," the voice over the intercom rudely yanked me from my daydream and I sighed.

Another frequent flyer mile added to the thousands I already had.

An hour later, I sat in the backseat of yet another limousine on my way home. Normally, I looked forward to arriving home, enjoying the quiet and solace my penthouse offered me, but that day, I felt a twinge of sadness as the car pulled up to my building. After unloading my bags, I made my way up to my apartment and entered.

It was completely still.

I didn't even have a cat, hell, even a fish, to greet me. Closing the door behind me, I tossed my keys down and left my bags in the hall as went into the living room to my bar. Pouring a shot of whiskey, I downed it in one gulp, hoping to fill the void I suddenly felt.

My cell phone rang, and I debated whether or not to answer it.

"Hey, Mom," I sighed, placing the glass on the marble top of the bar.

"Edward, how was your trip?" she asked happily.

"Fine, same old sh-"

"Edward," she chided. "Yes, well, glad it went fine. We're having dinner here tonight. Will you come?"

Was it an option?

"Of course. What time?" I asked, sitting down on the couch and putting my feet on the table.

"Seven."

"Need me to bring anything?" I offered politely.

"Beer?"

"Long week, Mom?" I chuckled.

"This merger is killing your father, he's been a bear to live with. I'm hoping tonight will be a chance for him to relax a bit."

"Okay, I will be there at seven with beer in hand."

"Thanks, Edward, love you," she said before hanging up.

She did love me. Maybe even more than I deserved. I had been a good son, I was sure, but what I wasn't sure of was whether I had been the son that they had wanted.

Or deserved.

As all mothers do, she had only wanted the best for me, but she knew, as I did, that the best for me might not be what I got. Now I dreamed of seeing the merger completed, seeing my father look at me with pride.

Long ago, I had had a different dream.

While I knew it would never come true, it was one that I had had as long as I could remember.

Sitting at the bench, I ran my hand along the sleek finish, admiring not only the physical beauty of it but the potential beauty it had the ability to create. The music that could be created with keystrokes was breathtaking, amazing, everything I had learned to love growing up.

Some of my first concrete memories were of my mother and me sitting at the piano in the great room of their house. She had begun to teach me the basics, finger placement, how to read the notes, and flow. Years later, long after she no longer needed to sit by my side, I would play for hours on end, losing myself in the music as it surrounded me, wrapping me in its protective womb. There had been times when I would sit and not only play the music, but pretend it was my job. Sometimes I was the simple player in a piano bar, other times, I led the Chicago Symphony Orchestra in Fur Elise.

No matter the dream, or how realistic or unrealistic it might be, it would never come true.

See, I was raised with only one career choice….to succeed my father as CEO in his firm. There would be no orchestras or smoky bars for me. Instead I had limo drivers and board meetings. I wasn't bitter about my life, just the opposite in fact. I had worked hard to get where I was, and I appreciated everything I had.

After graduating from private high school, I had entered Stanford and spent four years sitting in business classes while the music majors pursued their dreams. With envy, I would watch them chatting as they walked into the music building. How I longed to be there with them, exploring their talents and exposing my own. How I longed to be included in their small clique.

Spring break in my senior year of college, only months away from graduating, I sat at the piano in the great room of my parent's home. Thinking I was alone, I began to play anything that came to me, even some original compositions I had written over the past few years.

I smelled her before she spoke. Her fresh scent washed over me as she stood in the doorway.

"Hello, Mother," I said, smiling.

"How do you always do that?" she sighed as she walked to me, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor.

"I'm talented," I chuckled.

Placing her hand on my shoulder, she said, "Yes, you are. Very talented. You really should have been a pianist, Edward." I scoffed at her ridiculous words, and she took it as invitation to sit next to me. "You were born to play."

"I know what I was born to do, Mom, and I will do it," I snapped with more frustration than I ever intended. While she might not have been an active participant in my CEO grooming, she certainly hadn't prevented it.

Sadly, she took her hand off my shoulder. "What?" she asked quietly, already knowing my answer.

"Follow in Dad's footsteps," I shrugged.

"Edward," she began, but I cut her off, never halting my playing.

"Mom, it's okay, I get it. I'm the only son, it's what I was meant to do. It's what I _have_ to do."

"Your father is very proud of you, I'm sure if you went to him…" she faded off, knowing her suggestion was nothing more than mere fantasy. Silently sitting next to me, she listened, her brows furrowing in effort to recognize the song I was playing.

It was one I had written for her.

"You play such beautiful music, Edward."

For what little good it did me, whatever talent I possessed was only showcased my parent's annual holiday party. Little did they know it was not just a talent to me, but a life calling, a passion that I felt throughout my entire body every time I sat down before the black and white keys.

With a soft sigh, she kissed my cheek and stood up, her warm hand still on my shoulder. "Dinner in an hour," she called over her shoulder as she left the room.

A week later, I went back to Stanford. Two months later, I graduated at the top of my class to the smiles of mother and proud looks from my father.

I had done what I had been raised to do.

"**~~**"

"Can you bring these out to the table?" my mother asked as I set the beer down on the counter. I nodded and picked up the platter of hors d'oeuvres. "Edward," she put a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

How do mothers always know?

"Yeah, Mom, I'm fine, just jetlagged," I lied, giving her a kiss on the cheek before carrying the tray to the patio. Even though it was a simple family dinner, the large table was set with our finest plates and silverware, candles and bouquets of flowers lined the center while nearby bushes were wrapped with small, lit twinkle lights.

As I set the tray down on the side table, I felt a hard slap on my back.

"So, get any in Seattle?" he whispered.

"Is that all you think about?" I sighed, turning to him. Shrugging, he reached around me and grabbed a handful of shrimp.

"What can I say? I'm a healthy young man, sex is on my mind."

"Yeah, about every thirty seconds," I chuckled, and he raised an eyebrow reminding me of my unanswered question. "Yes, okay, I got some."

"That's my boy," he laughed, pushing my shoulder. "So was he any good?"

Glancing around to make sure we were alone, I murmured, "Incredible." He grinned. "Do you want all the details of how he ben-"

"No, man, no. I'm good," he put his hand up. "Just wanted to make sure your needs were being met."

"Well, rest easy, Emmett, they were more than met," I winked before walking off to greet Bella. It was not unusual for my parents to include Bella and Emmett in our weekly family dinners, as I worked so closely with them, they were practically family. Bella walked up and hugged me, kissing my cheek.

"You're glowing again," she whispered in my ear. "More than last time." Blushing, I pulled away and made an excuse to help out my mother. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella scamper off to Emmett.

Sitting around the table, my mother served us all our salads and dinner. She had outdone herself as always. The only one I knew that could out do my mother was Alice, who had inherited the gene for elegant flair.

"So big brother," Alice began, "Seattle treat you well?" she asked before cutting into her steak and taking a bite.

I was beginning to think there was a conspiracy between them all.

"Yes, very well. Things are progressing quite smoothly. Assuming there are no issues with the certifications, we should be done in about six months." I knew she had no idea what I was talking about, only that I had been in Seattle for business.

I glanced over at Bella and caught her staring at me with a small smile on her face. Instead of turning away when she was caught, she only smiled wider and gave me a wink. Confused, it was me that looked away, my attention drawn to my father as he spoke of his latest meeting with the head of the European office. Sighing, I looked down at my plate, debating on how to excuse myself from the table during the conversation.

About six months after I had started working for my father, my parents were getting ready for their annual summer bar-b-queue at their home. All the firm's employees attended, along with their families. The day before the cookout, I was in the backyard with my mother as she went over last minute details with the caterers to finalizing the menu items.

We sat at the table, under the shade of the umbrella while my mother looked over the lists before her.

"Are you bringing a date tomorrow?" she asked casually. Laughing, I studied a spot on the table.

"Ah, no," I replied.

"Why not, Edward? You're young, handsome. Why don't you have a girlfriend?" she put the list down and eyed me the way only a mother can.

"Because I don't want one, and I don't have the time anyway. I'm still learning my way around the company," I reasoned, pretty damn well.

Or so I thought.

"Bullshit. You're scared."

"Of?"

"I don't know, Edward. Relationships, commitment…sex."

"Mom," I groaned, putting my head down on my folded arms. It was one of those moments where you wanted the Earth to open and swallow you up. I felt her hand on my forearm.

"Edward, you need to start living your life. You've worked hard, it's time to have some fun, enjoy it before it's gone."

Sighing, I lifted my head and smiled at her. "If I promise to have some fun, will you stop asking about a girlfriend?"

Nodding, she agreed. "Yes. Well, for the time being anyway. Just know that I want the pitter-patter of grandchildren before I get too old to enjoy it."

My heart ached at her words. Not only did she want me to have a girlfriend, she wanted me married with children. Years ago I had vowed to do what I had been raised to do, making a promise to fulfill my father's legacy. That vow meant sacrificing my true self, but I wasn't sure if I could live the lie of a marriage as well as the lie of being straight. With too much to think about, I gave her a weak smile and stood up.

"I'm going to get a drink, want one?" I asked her as I headed into the house.

"Yes, a Corona please."

My mother never ceased to surprise me.

Beautiful warm sun beamed down on all the guests the following day. My parents were in their element as they walked around arm in arm greeting everyone by name. From the side of the house, I watched as my father's employees kissed his ass and then introduced him to their spouses.

"Edward, come here," he called out to me. Obeying, I pushed off the wall and headed over to him with a smile on my face. "Edward, I'd like you to meet Tim, the head of our European office."

"Tim, nice to meet you," I reached out to shake his hand.

"Likewise," he replied. "I've heard great things about you."

"Yes, well, they are embellished, I'm sure," I winked as I took a sip of my beer. He flinched at my casual wink and quickly released my hand.

"You're too modest," he said as he eyed me. I was used to being scrutinized, it was something I welcomed, the challenge to live up to their expectations.

Not only did I live up to them, I often surpassed them.

He was a nice looking man, short brown hair, dark brown eyes, tall and lean. I found myself glancing at his left hand and was surprised at the absence of a ring. "Where's your wife?" I couldn't help but ask.

"I'm not married," he answered with a shy smile. Just then my father excused himself and made his way over the next group of guests.

Suddenly, I felt a kinship with Tim. He was about my age, not married and obviously driven to hold the position he did.

"Want a drink?" I asked, motioning to the bar.

"Sure," he nodded. We spent most of the afternoon comparing notes of overbearing fathers and persistent mothers. Turned out I was not alone in being pushed for grandchildren. He laughed at my story, sharing a similar one of his own. The longer I was with him, the more I found myself enjoying his company, and only once did my mind wander to what he might look like under the polo shirt and jeans. We were joking about a colleague when my mother came over and asked me to get her the pies from the kitchen. I excused myself from Tim, telling him I would be right back and headed into the cool, air conditioned house.

Just as I was about to enter the kitchen, I heard voices coming from in there. Standing outside the doorway, I stopped and listened.

"Did you hear?" one man asked. I was unsure how many there were.

"No, what?" replied another.

"Tim's a fag," he chuckled.

"Are you fucking serious?" I could hear the shock in his voice.

"Yep, came out last week. Gave me the fucking creeps too. I fucking roomed with him at conference last year."

"Jesus, Jim, that's scary."

"Yeah, faggot better not have checked me out when I was sleeping or dressing."

"I can't believe he came out," a new voice spoke up. One I knew from my father's board of directors. "It's career suicide in this business. I heard it was why he was sent to Europe. I guess they like queers more over there."

"Damn right," the others agreed in unison.

_Career suicide._

Fuck, had they seen me talking with Tim? Not waiting to find out, I entered the kitchen and gave them all a dirty look as I went to the fridge for the pies.

"Hey, Edward," the board member greeted, "How's it going?"

I wanted nothing more than to tell him to fuck off, I knew he was only speaking to me to impress to the others that he knew the CEO's son. I was nothing more than networking to him.

"Fine," I answered curtly. Part of me wanted to tell them I was going back out to give Tim the best head of his life, but my reasonable side thought otherwise and stopped me. I gathered the pies on a tray.

"Do you need any help," he offered with a fake warmth.

"I got it, thanks," I snapped. Without another word, I picked up the tray and headed out.

"Do you think he's a fag too?" I heard one of them ask I pushed open the sliding glass door.

After apologizing weakly to Tim, I spent the rest of the afternoon stuck to my mother's side like glue. Every now and then I would look up and find Tim watching me with a sadness in his eyes. Unable to face him, I quickly looked away.

I felt the same sadness.

I never spoke to Tim again.

"How is Tim?" I asked my father as I served myself some potatoes.

"He's well, working hard over there, Europe seems to suit him well. He asks about you often. It's really too bad he didn't stay in the States, you two could have been good friends."

_Or lovers._

Nodding, I let the subject drop, hoping another would come along quickly. Suddenly, my father tapped his glass, gathering our attention.

"I'd like to make a toast," he began, standing with his wine glass. "To Edward," he said looking directly at me. "Son, you have done such a beautiful job in Seattle. You have really taken this project and ran with it. Some of the board members questioned whether or not you were ready for such a large merger, but you have proven yourself not only worthy, but the perfect man for the job. Thank you for proving them wrong, and more so, for proving me right. You've accomplished so much at your young age, and you have such a promising future ahead of you. I'm so very proud of you."

'_Proud of you.'_

His words replayed in my head.

They were everything I had waited to hear. My entire life, my childhood, my high school and college years, all of it had been working, striving for the moment where he would tell me he was proud of me. The look of pride on his face as he stood with his glass held high, looking over his small kingdom of people, I realized it had all been worth it. All the personal sacrifices I had made were worth it for that moment to hear him acknowledge I had done well.

Stunned, I sat there and smiled at him, riding the high his compliment had put me on.

Then my mother spoke, her words bringing me down faster than I would have thought possible.

"The only thing that would make us more proud would be grandchildren," my mother suggested happily.

Immediately, the guilt clenched my heart.

"Mom, one step at a time, he needs a girlfriend first," Alice spoke up.

"Oh I think there are many that would jump at that chance," my mother suggested.

"I agree, Edward, you really should date," my father chimed in.

Emmett eyed me quietly with a knowing look as he took a sip of his wine. I had hoped he would jump to my defense but he remained quiet.

Finally, I spoke up, hoping to sway the topic in my favor. "And how does one find a suitable girlfriend with the hours that I work?" I said with sarcasm.

"What about Bella?" Alice offered, glancing between Bella and I. "She works the same long hours you do, you guys already get along great. It's a perfect match," she finished with a grin.

_Perfect except I was gay_.

Blushing, Bella looked at Alice. "Nice of you to offer up your brother, Alice, but I'm pretty sure he can make up his own mind about his love life."

Nodding my appreciation, I excused myself from the table to get another drink. In the kitchen, I shut the door, leaned against the counter and closed my eyes.

"You have to tell them, man," he said as he stood next to me with his beer in his hand.

Sighing, I opened my eyes and turned around to put my palms on the counter. "How can I, Emmett, you heard them out there! How can I destroy that dream? It would devastate them and my career."

"Edward, you can't always live your life the way they want you to. Eventually, you will have to come out." I shook my head as I hung it low. "Oh, okay, so what, you're going to get married and have kids?" he asked.

"Jesus, no. I can live a lie for them, but I won't ask anyone to live it with me." I pushed off the counter and turned to face him. "I've tried. I tried to be normal, and it worked until things got sexual."

I wasn't sure why, but I had let my roommate set me up on a blind date, but I as I sat at the restaurant waiting for her, I regretted saying yes. Then I saw her. Petite with long blond hair and brown eyes, she had a pleasant smile and a perfect figure dressed in jeans and tight maroon sweater.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Standing, I held out my hand as she approached. "Taylor?" I asked with a nervous smile.

"Edward?" she giggled, shaking my hand. "Nice to meet you." I motioned for her to sit and called the waitress over.

Turned out, Taylor was not only physically attractive, but smart and funny as well. All night we talked easily, mostly about classes and friends. She had broken up with her boyfriend about two months before and had just started to want to date again.

At the end of the night, as we stood by her car, I kissed her cheek and promised to call her soon. She drove off with a smile and a wave.

I called the next day and asked her out again. For a month, we saw each other a few times a week, sometimes just studying, or the movies, or dinner. I found myself enjoying her company more and more, looking forward to our dates each and every time.

Six weeks into our friendship, she called and asked me to come over for some studying. Her roommate was gone and we could have some quiet time. Agreeing, I headed to her room where she answered the door and let me in.

With our backs against the wall, we sat next to each other on her bed as we studied for an upcoming psychology test. My legs were stretched out before me, crossed at my ankles while hers were curled up under her. Inhaling her fresh scent, I watched as she pushed her long hair behind her ear as she mouthed the words to the text she was reading.

It was a small, innocent gesture but my heart leapt just the same. We had done nothing more than kiss, and she had said on more than one occasion she preferred taking it slow, but at that moment I wanted more than a kiss.

I wanted _a lot_ more than a kiss.

She was wearing a tank top and cotton shorts and I let my eyes wander over her bare legs, small waist, and breasts. Swallowing hard, I imagined what they might feel like in my hands. Would their weight be similar to a man's cock and balls? Would they taste as salty?

She caught me staring. "Edward?"

Blushing, I looked up at her and found her cheeks as pink as my own.

"See something you want?" she teased in a flirty voice I had never heard before. Licking my lips, I nodded. Leaning toward her, I pressed my lips to hers. I rather enjoyed kissing her, while there was no spark, it was warm and comfortable. Before we got too involved, she broke the kiss and pushed our books to the end of the bed. Once she was done, she lay down, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me half on top of her. Kissing her once again, our tongues met again and again as she began to move under me.

"Touch me," she mumbled against my lips. Hesitantly, and completely clueless, I ran a hand up her leg, over her stomach to just below her breasts. My thumb stroked back and forth on the flesh, teasing her. "Please, Edward," she moaned, arching her back. Slowly, I moved my hand to a breast, palming the heavy weight before pressing down and caressing. She moaned again, and I kept willing myself to feel something.

To want to moan back.

Maybe if I had more.

While we still kissed, I slid my hand down to the hem of her tank up and pushed it up over her breasts. Quickly, I pulled away from our kiss and put my lips to one of her nipples. With my eyes clenched, I licked and traced her nipple. It was one of my favorite spots on a man's body, but on her it was…different. The physical reaction was the same, but instead of a firm chest, I was nuzzling a mound of flesh. She left one hand on the nape of my neck, keeping me fused to her breast while her other hand snuck between us and she palmed my soft cock.

I wasn't positive, but I was pretty sure I should have been hard by then.

Instinctively, my hips bucked into her hand, wanting a strong grip to stroke me. I left one breast and made my way to the other, my hand skimming over her flat stomach to the waistband of her shorts.

I wanted her to stop me. I was pushing her limits, but instead, she eagerly lifted her hips to meet my hand. She interpreted my groan of frustration as excitement and reached for the button of my jeans.

Panic struck me. I wasn't sure what the hell to do. Stilling, I felt her small fingers push the button through and lower my zipper. My breaths were heavy against her soft flesh and she took that as desire as she opened the flap of my jeans and cupped my still soft cock. Assuming I was just nervous, she eased her hand under the waistband of my briefs and wrapping her tiny hand around my cock.

It stayed soft.

But not for lack of her effort. She began to tug and stroke and encourage. Removing my mouth from her breasts, I began to kiss her neck, taking in her tender flesh.

I smelled fruit when I wanted to smell man.

I tasted sweet when I wanted to taste salty.

Closing my eyes, I imagined her with short black hair and gray eyes. I imagined a strong hand around me and a taut chest under me.

Slowly, my cock unwillingly lengthened.

Until she whispered, "Does it feel good?"

It felt like nothing.

I didn't reply, I only wished for my cock to harden, to prove I was a man. But as I lay there, her hand in my pants, my hand resting under the elastic of her panties and my mouth on her breast, I felt less like a man than ever before.

I felt like an imposter, a person living with a façade that was so far from the true person I was I had begun to lose contact with my real self. I certainly wasn't the guy she needed or wanted me to be, and pretending to be that person any longer wasn't right.

With a heavy sigh, I removed my hand from her underwear and lifted my head.

"I can't…" I began. She stopped stroking me, but continued to hold my cock in her hand.

"Can't do what?"

"This…I can't…I need to go," I blurted out, pulling away from her and kneeling to do up my pants. "I'm so sorry, Taylor. It's not you, really…it's me. I'm just not ready." I looked down at her hurt face as she tugged her tank top down over breasts. "I'm sorry," I repeated over and over as I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

As I reached the door, I looked at her one last time over my shoulder, the tears already streaking her face. I felt like shit for what I was doing, but it was better than the lie I was letting her believe.

It was bad enough I had to live a lie, there was no reason for her to as well.

"I can't do it, Emmett. I just can't," I sighed sadly.

"Okay man, I respect that, and give you credit for the sacrifice you're making. But, Edward, just remember, it's _your_ life, not theirs." He patted my shoulder before heading back outside.

My mother passed him in the doorway carrying a few plates. "Everything okay?" she smiled at me as she put the plates on the counter.

"Everything's fine," I put up the façade and gave her a kiss on the cheek before making my way back outside.

I wouldn't get to live the life I wanted, but we don't always get what we want.

However, we always get what we need.

I wasn't a scared little boy anymore. Confident in my work, my body, and my needs, I knew what I wanted and went after it.

And I wanted Jasper.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading! Did I do okay with Edward? I had a hard time not having him swear like Jasper....


	7. The Wicked Witch

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-We are back to Jasper-see what our favorite Escortsper has been up in Edward's absence!

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

Our beta is overworked, underpaid and not available, so this chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise are Touchstone67's.

"**~~**"

Jpov~

He answered the door in nothing more than an unbuttoned white dress shirt.

No pants.

No boxers.

His thick cock was already hard as he ushered me inside their foyer. He was young, with an athletic build, and he obviously took care of himself. A few inches shorter than me, he had short, dark brown hair. Glancing down, I noticed he was clean shaven.

My cock twitched.

Without a word, not even a fucking introduction, he turned and led me up a spiral staircase to our left. Watching his ass as he walked up the stairs before me, I smiled. It was tight, full and looked very fuckable.

Every since I had fucked Edward, I had realized how much I missed having Riley to service my topping needs. The power, control and pure satisfaction that went along with putting my cock in someone else's ass was immeasurable.

Something I had definitely missed.

I had wanted to find Riley earlier that day, and was about to walk out my door, hoping to find him in the alley he frequented when Tanya had text me, informing me of a last minute client with a strange request. Although she hadn't specified what the request was.

I was just happy to not be dressed in a toga.

I began to loosen my tie as we neared the top of the long staircase and he turned down one of many halls.

He stopped at a set of double doors and opened them, stepping to the side to allow me to enter before him. I may have let the back of my hand brush along his cock as I walked past and entered the room. It was huge, and dark, the flicker from various candles scattered throughout providing the only light. I glanced around quickly, taking in what I could make out.

Vase on the dresser with long-stemmed red roses.

Letter opener on vanity near the door.

My eyes made their way to the bed where I saw her.

Naked, lying on the bed with arms stretched above her head. Around her wrists I spotted the silver flash of handcuffs. She was petite with a small waist, curvy hips, toned legs, and completely shaved except for her long straight blond hair fanned out on the pillow under her. She looked even younger than him.

"Take her," he spoke for the first time as he closed the doors behind me.

He wasted no time.

Silently, I walked over to her. Undoing my tie and toeing off my shoes as I stood next to her, I slid my jacket off and placed it on the end of the bed. She watched me the entire time, her eyes never leaving my hands as I began to undress. After I unbutton my shirt, I went to take it off, but he spoke again.

"Leave it on."

He obviously had a thing for dress shirts.

I nodded slightly to confirm I had heard him and let my shirt hang open. Undoing my pants, I slid them down my legs and off before peeling off my socks.

"Make her suck your cock," he said calmly from behind me.

It was then that I noticed that not only were her hands cuffed together, but she was cuffed to the headboard of the bed as well. Undressed except for my open shirt, I climbed on the bed and straddled her hips, feeling myself growing hard as I rubbed myself along the soft, smooth skin of her sex. She was dripping wet.

As she watched me intently, her eyes darting from my cock to my face every few seconds, she smiled.

She liked what she saw.

I slid up her body, until I was straddling her chest, her breasts flattened by my weight. Rising up to my knees, I traced her lips with the head of my cock, leaving a glistening trail of precum in its wake.

"Tell her what to do."

"Suck my cock," I said, looking down at her, biting my lip. Her mouth opened wide and I slid my cock inside. With hallowed cheeks, she began sucking me hard and fast. Unable to move her head much, she remained still while I fucked her mouth.

"Pull your shirt open."

I reached up and opened my shirt, letting it fall off my shoulders a bit, exposing my chest.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," he moaned. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw movement in the corner where he had sat down in an overstuffed chair, his legs spread wide. "Yeah, fuck her mouth. She's got a sweet mouth, doesn't she?"

Nodding, I kept my concentration on maintaining my erection, watching myself slid in and out of her lips. No doubt she felt good, but wasn't as good as I had grown accustomed to. Peter's skill would put hers to shame.

Idly, I wondered if her husband was any better.

"Now fuck her pussy."

Slipping from her mouth, I slid my body back down hers, debating on whether or not I should kiss her or offer any other foreplay. When I reached her legs, I moved to one side and spread them wide for me before kneeling in between them. Reaching behind me, I grabbed my jacket and took out one of the condoms from the pocket. I ripped it open and put it on my cock before I lifted her legs over my thighs and placing myself at her entrance. It had been awhile since I had fucked a woman. I hoped it was like riding a bike. With one long, slow thrust, I entered her. She was wet and warm and smooth. I pulled out and pushed back in, clenching the muscles in my ass, focusing on the pulse of my cock and not the soft body she had. She wasn't as tight as what I preferred, but her when her muscles clenched around me, I felt a small surge of pleasure pass through my cock.

"Touch her breasts."

Reaching down with one hand, I tentatively squeezed a breast, rubbing my thumb along her dark nipple, I watched it pebble. I felt an odd sense of satisfaction that I had that kind of effect.

On a woman.

Smirking to myself, I watched her face for signs of pleasure. She was quite beautiful, brown eyes, high cheekbones and tiny nose, and even in the dim light of the room, I could see her complexion was very pale.

"Yeah, just like. Lift your shirt. I want to see your ass as you fuck her."

Keeping one hand on her breast, I let go of her hip that was keeping her on my thighs, hoping she was strong enough to keep herself there, and tugged at tail of my shirt, lifting it up over my ass.

When he had a clear view, he moaned.

Her stomach muscles clenched as she began to lift her hips to meet my thrusts. Settling deep in her, I let go of my shirt and her breast and gripped her hips, keeping her to me tightly as I circled my hips. She pressed her head back into her down pillow and licked her lips. With a small smile, I rocked my hips back and slid out, teasing her with the head of cock before pushing back deep inside her again. Just as I began to find a rhythm, proud of myself for being able to keep my erection, he spoke again.

"Slap her," he commanded.

I stopped moving and looked over at him. As he watched over his wife and me, he was sitting to my left, the bed only about ten feet from him. Flicking my head to move my waves that were stuck to my sweaty forehead, I raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" I grunted.

"Slap her….hard," he repeated.

"_They have an odd request, but I'm sure you will follow through with it like the professional you are…" Tanya's voice echoed in my head._

"_What is it?" I had asked._

"_I'll let you find out for yourself, I don't want you judging them before you get there, but you have my permission to fill the request." _

I had done some fucked up things by request, but that was something I wasn't prepared to do. Hitting a girl was just…wrong. Looking down at her, I saw her dark brown eyes watching me without any emotion. No lust or desire or even hate for what I was about to do. She nodded slightly at me, granting me her permission to carry out her husband's demand.

Just before my hand hit her cheek I whispered, "I'm sorry."

The slap resounded in the otherwise silent room, echoing in my ears long after the red mark had begun to fade from her face. Other than her head swaying a bit to her right, she showed no reaction to my hit.

"Again, harder," he said quietly.

Biting my lip, I wanted to refuse, and tell him to beat his down fucking wife; I wasn't going to do it for him. I got paid to fuck, not abuse. Instead, I reached out and slapped her again, hard enough that the red wasn't going to fade quickly. She gasped quietly and closed her eyes.

"Bite her breast. Mark her."

What the fuck?

I shook my head, my damp curls falling over my eyes again as I slowly fucked her.

"Fucking do it."

I couldn't afford not to.

As I leaned down and lowered my mouth to her small, firm breast, she arched her back, offering herself to me. Curling my lips back, I bared my teeth and bit down above her nipple. Crying out, she attempted to pull away but I held her to me with one arm snaking under her back while I let the metallic taste of her blood coat my taste buds.

"Fucking hot," he moaned from the chair. Releasing her skin, I ran my tongue along it, attempting to sooth the wound. Even in the dark, I could see the bruise already forming around the bite mark.

"Fuck her hard," he panted, and I could hear the distinct sound of his hand pumping his cock.

Gripping the headboard behind her with one hand, I put my other on her hip and pulled her too me as I pounded into her repeatedly. There was no fucking way she was going to be able too walk the next day. I wanted to make her come, she deserved it after the abusive treatment and while fucking a woman wasn't an entirely foreign concept to me, making one come was something I had rarely done. Usually the women I had fucked on the streets helped themselves, touching themselves as I fucked them. Occasionally there was one that wanted me to go down on them. While it was not something I enjoyed doing, it was much easier to make them come that way, my tongue worked magic as I sucked and licked them to ecstasy.

But using my cock to accomplish it was something else.

"Does she good, tight around your beautiful cock?" he asked, but I hesitated in replying. "Answer me."

"Yes, she's tight," I replied flatly.

"She's a good little fuck, but then again, something tells me you are as well."

My ass, fuck, my entire body, was theirs for the next hour, if he wanted me, he was going to have me.

"Why don't you come find out for yourself?" I challenged, glancing at him as I slowed my pace. Turning my attention back to her, I saw him get up from the chair, and then he was out of my sight. The bed dipped as he climbed onto it and I felt his body behind me. His knees were between my calves, his cock against my ass as he arms went under my own before he wrapped them around me. With his fingers splayed across my chest, his firm body offered me support as he pulled my back against him. With one hand, he grabbed my chin and tilted my head to the side, his lips on my neck a second later, sucking the tender skin there.

I began to lose my focus, the sensations overloading me. My cock in her loose warmth, while he touched me, I began to lose my rhythm.

"Don't stop. Keep fucking her," he mumbled into my neck as he nibbled.

Turning my head to him, he kissed me, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth the instant our lips met. He was strong and dominant on a level I hadn't experienced before. One of his hands wrapped securely around my throat while the other slid down my body to where my cock was entering her. Behind me, he moved with my rhythm, his cock grazing my ass with each one of my thrusts into her. His fingers brushed my cock every time I slid out as he opened her sex to us. Leaving my lips, he kissed his way to my ear.

"Make her come," he demanded.

She threw her head back into the pillow at his words, lifting her hips to us. It was no gentle lovemaking, it was fucking, animalistic pure and simple. My fingers met his at her sex, he exposed her clit to me while I rubbed it with my thumb with what I hoped was at least close to pleasurable. Judging by the constant moans she was omitting, I was hitting the right spot. She began to writhe before me, her arms straining against her bondage as her breasts jiggled with her futile attempts to pull free. Her hips constantly moved against my fingers, her actions begging for more.

"Yeah, she likes that, huh? She likes cock so much." Resting his chin on my shoulder, his eyes were downcast as he watched me pleasure her, his fingers occasionally joining mine. "Mmmm…" he moaned as let her sex go, her folds closing over my thumb, he slipped his finger into her. Every time my cock entered her, I felt his thumb graze it. Groaning, my head fell back onto his shoulder. "You like that, huh?"

I was going to fucking lose it…and quick.

"Is she coming?" he asked in my ear.

How the fuck was I supposed to know? I was used to seeing cum shoot from a cock, all sticky and milky. I was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen with her.

Just then, I felt her muscles clench around my cock, her back arched and her hips jerked wildly as she whimpered.

"Alec, Alec, Alec…" she cried out over and over.

_Alec?_ It wasn't his dick in her or his thumb on her clit.

Her legs loosened and I let her hips fall back to the bed, her body, sated and relaxed.

"Stop," he told me. Stilling, I remained inside her while he let me go. Then his hands were on my shirt, tugging it down my arms and off. Looking over my shoulder, I saw he was completely naked as well. His hand was on my back and he pushed me forward. Bending at my waist, I put my palms on either side of her shoulders and braced myself. He spread my ass with one hand while I felt the cool drizzle of lube over my entrance. I wasn't surprised when I felt his finger, followed quickly by a second, enter me, prepping me.

"Fucking hottest ass I've seen from Tanya's."

The sound of condom opening near my ear excited me even more. His fingers left me as he put the condom on, and I felt the head of his cock circling my entrance seconds later. Loudly, I groaned.

"You like me teasing you? Damn, I want to fuck this ass," he said as he spread me wide with one while guiding his cock in with the other. My jaw clenched when he penetrated me, and his hands moved to my hips, keeping me still, as he knew my urge to begin to thrust back onto him or into his wife was powerful. Slowly, his cock entered me, filling me up inch my inch. Exhaling, I relaxed my body to take his girth before I pushed off the bed and straightened up, seating myself on his erection while keeping my cock inside her.

"Fuck her while I fuck you."

This was a first.

I had fucked women, I been fucked by men, I had never done them both at the same time.

Gripping her hips again, my nails digging into the delicate flesh at her sides, I yanked her legs back onto my thighs, burying myself deep in her as Alec moved behind me in the same motion. As I exited her, he did the same to me. Over and over, he and I fucked at the same time. His wife watched, her eyes wide, her lips parted as her tongue darted out repeatedly to lick them. Each of his thrusts into me brought me closer to the orgasm I had feared I wouldn't reach by just fucking her. The burn began low in my balls as they tightened and the feeling spread throughout my abdomen.

"Fuck yeah, I can feel you're close," he moaned behind me. Both of his arms went under mine, and he curled them up and around my shoulders, his forehead rested the nape of my neck, his panting breaths heating up my already sweaty back. Using my shoulders for leverage, he bucked into me with force, grunting each time. "Come in her," he granted me the permission I had been waiting for.

One last thrust and I held myself inside her as I came, pulsing, my cock filled the condom with shot after shot of cum. My entire body tensed, my hips bucking, the spasms of my ass around his cock made him clutch me harder.

"Fuck," he growled, "So your ass is so tight."

My head lolled back against his shoulder as my cock slowly slipped wet and slick from his wife. Deep and hard, he pounded me, his knuckles whitening as he held me. "Fuck," he grunted and bit down on my shoulder, his teeth almost breaking skin as his cock throbbed when he came in me. Together, we both fell to the side of his wife, his hips sporadically bucking into me as he rode out his orgasm, his arms still around me as we lay catching our breath.

"You are one good fuck," he complimented. "Wouldn't you agree?" he asked his wife, looking at her over my shoulder. Opening my eyes, I saw her nod. "If Jane was allowed to speak, she would tell you that I've never fucked like that before. I usually just jerk off or have the guy blow me, but…."

His hands let me go and he fell onto his back, his cock sliding from my ass. Reaching down, I pulled my condom off.

"Got someplace to toss this?" I asked, holding it up. Chuckling, he took it from me and got off the bed, throwing his and mine in the trash. His wife still lay handcuffed to the bed. Giving her a small smile, I sat up, resting back on my palms, watching her husband as he came back over and picked my shirt up off the floor.

"Put this on, leave it undone." I did as he told me. My legs were stretched out before me, and he straddled my calves, his eyes on my limp cock. "I want to taste my wife on you." Leaning down, he took the base of my cock in his hand and guided it to his mouth. Sucking hard, he stroked me while his tongue lapped every inch. My entire body shuddered as he ravished my hypersensitive cock. Moaning, I watched him, not sure if it was my cock he liked, or the sliver of his wife's taste. "Mmmmm," he sighed as he released me a semi-hard state. "You can get dressed now."

I climbed off the bed and began pulling my pants on. Leaving them undone, I sat back on the bed to put on my socks and shoes. He was standing by the dresser naked, his back to me.

"Are you going to undo her?" I asked, nodding to his wife. His head jerked up and he looked into my reflection the mirror.

"After I've had my way with her." He turned to me. "Stop dressing." I dropped the shoe I was holding. He walked over and stood before me. I hadn't realized how muscular he was until he was so close. It explained his strength when he had held me. "Get me hard before you leave so I can fuck her too." His hands went straight to my hair as he pulled my head toward his cock. I took the base in my hand and opened my mouth, letting my lips wrap around him tightly. Hallowing my cheeks, I sucked his head hard. Feeling him start to grow in my hand from my attention, I stroked him while my tongue swirled around the ridges.

"Your mouth is a wonderful as your ass," he sighed, his head bent as he watched me. Fisting my hair, he began to fuck my mouth, sliding deeper and deeper with each thrust. "Take all of me." With a deep breath, I relaxed my throat and immediately felt him hitting the back of it, the taste of his precum already strong. "God damn, fucking talented fucking whore."

I was tempted to bite down after that comment, but instead I swallowed around his hard cock. He was impressively large, and I wondered how sore his wife would be after the both of us fucking her.

"Good," he said as he released my hair and pulled out of my mouth. "There's something for you on the dresser. I don't normally do that, but you deserve it. Take it and let yourself out."

Standing, I grabbed my shoes and jacket. When I got to the dresser, I saw three one hundred dollar bills on the shiny cherry wood top. The reflection in the mirror revealed him as he settled over his wife and entered her. I watched his ass for a minute, admiring his flexing muscles as he began to pump into her. I stuffed the money in my pocket and headed for the door. Cringing when I heard the slap of his hand against her as I closed the door behind me, I made my way to the stairs and out their door. Sitting on the porch steps, I put on my socks and shoes before walking to Aro and the car. My jacket slug over my arm, my pants, shirt and tie were still undone.

"Have a good time, sir?" he chuckled, "or just in a hurry to leave?" he asked, looking over my appearance.

"It was…interesting," I sighed as I sat back against the seat. After he closed my door, he got in behind the wheel.

"You have another appointment in two hours, do you want to go home and clean up?" he asked as he pulled out on the street. Nodding, I closed my eyes.

It was going to be a fucking long night.

And it was only Tuesday.

Less than twenty minutes later, Aro pulled up in front of my building. "I'll wait here, sir," he said, holding my door as I exited the car and headed for my building. Ignoring the look I got from Aiden as he held the door for me as I walked in with my shirt undone. After a quick shower and sandwich, I was back down at the car in less than an hour, as we had to drive out the suburbs again.

An even stranger look from Aiden as I walked out and quickly went to the car where Aro shuffled me inside before too many could see me. He weaved us through the traffic while I relaxed in the backseat, closing my eyes.

And I saw _him_ every time I fucking did.

His copper hair, pale skin and his fucking green eyes watching me in the mirror as I fucked him. It was like he had been reading my mind, surfing through my thoughts before I even comprehended what they were. Sometimes about him had disturbed me, stirring something deep in me that I had never felt or experienced before. Even my time with Peter, as friendly as we had become, was different than what I had felt with Edward.

For the first time in my life, with all the fucking I had done, it hadn't been just physical. There had been a new level breeched, and it fucking scared and thrilled me at the same time. I was used to having control. Maybe not over my body, that was their disposal, but my mind and my emotions were all my own.

No one could fuck with those.

Until he opened that door and unknowingly began to fuck with them.

Physically, it had been the best experience of my life. While Peter showed me other avenues of pleasure that had brought me to extreme highs, for some reason with Edward the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach made the sex that much more intense.

Even though it was rather mundane fucking, it had been anything but.

There were times where I swear he felt it too, when he looked at me in the mirror, when our hands entwined, in the shower when he touched my hair and asked if I was for real, and in the bed when we just held each other.

I had never just held anyone before. There was always a means to the end, it was never done. I was fucked or I sucked, then I was kicked to the curb…literally. There was no time for afterglow. Peter and I had recuperated and talked after sex, but never just…held.

As incredible as my night had been with Edward, physically amazing, I had left with an aftertaste that resonated in me for days.

"…_I was pleased when I saw I could have you too."_

His words had brought me out of my world with him and back into the reality. No matter who it was, how much money they paid me, my designer clothes, or drivers, I was nothing more than a whore.

"Sir, we're here," Aro said pulling up in front of the nice suburban house. With a sigh, I waited for him to open my door, getting out when he did so. Checking his watch, he said, "You have three hours here, so see you then," and held out his fist. Bumping it, I gave him a tired smile and headed up the walkway of the familiar house.

Once again, he answered the door in nothing more than boxers and I shuddered at the sight of his hairy chest. Had he never heard of waxing? I entered and nodded at him.

"Mr. Jones, good to see you again," I gave him a fake smile.

"Do you have what I requested?" he asked as he motioned to down the hallway to the office. The pictures of his wife and children lined the wall. I wondered what Mrs. Jones would think of me there to sexually service her husband.

"Yes."

The office doors were open and after he led me through set of patio doors, we were out by an in-ground pool. Along the cement surrounding the pool were scattered lounge chairs and a few tables. He pulled off his boxers and threw them on the ground, his small dick already hardening as he sat down on the paisley cushioned chair.

"Take off your coat," he said as he pushed himself up in the chair to watch. I unbuttoned my coat and let it slide off my shoulders, placing it on a chair.

Before him I stood bare-chested with a leather strap going over one shoulder attached to the opposite hip and a green plaid kilt.

With nothing on under it.

"Lift it."

I almost rolled my eyes as I reached for the hem of the kilt and lifted it so he could see I was naked underneath.

"Very nice. Come closer. Keep it up." Taking a few steps toward him, I held my kilt up, exposing myself for his inspection. Nervously, I looked around the yard and was relieved to find that we were surrounded by an eight foot stockade fence. "Make yourself hard."

Holding the skirt with one hand, I grabbed my cock in my hand and began stroking. I had to close my eyes, as watching him stare at my cock while he licked his lips and touched himself did nothing to encourage an erection.

My breathing increased as I stroked a bit faster to images of Edward behind my lids. His perfect ass in the air as he was on all fours before me, down on his elbows as he looked over his shoulder at me, flashing me a wicked grin as he asked if I was going to fuck him yet.

"Yeah, just like that. Jerk yourself off."

I barely heard him, my focus was on the surging pleasure I felt as I entered Edward's tight ass and heard his responsive moan when I filled him. Completely hard, I pumped myself furiously, my pace matching those of my thrusts into Edward as he begged me for more, harder, deeper.

I gave him exactly what he wanted.

"Fucking hot. Come on my face," his voice registered somewhere in the part of my brain that reminded me I was not home on my bed alone, but jerking off in a kilt for a client by his pool. Hanging my head down, I bit my lip as I imagined Peter lying before me on his back, his legs spread as he waited for me to enter him. His muscles flexing and expanding as he accepted my cock into his ass.

"Shit," I murmured as I felt my balls begin tighten.

"My face," he reminded me, and I opened my eyes and took a step closer. He stopped stroking himself and reached for my kilt, holding it up for me. Then I felt one of his dry fingers on my balls and immediately closed my eyes again.

_Fuck me, Peter moaned to me as I lifted his legs out and away from his body and watched myself enter him slowly, his ass engulfing my cock. _

Jones's finger prodded my balls, pushing the lose skin around before he finally took them in his hand and rolled them.

"I want to lick them," he said, pulling on my sac to get me even closer. "Straddle the chair."

With a sigh, I stopped stroking and moved so I had one leg on each side of the metal lounge chair, my cock only inches from his mouth. One chubby hand kept the kilt up while he leaned forward and stuck his tongue out from between his chapped lips, the very tip of it licking down my cock to my balls, where he lapped and slurped me.

I felt nauseous.

"Keep going," he mumbled against my heated skin. Feeling his hot breath on the inside of my thighs, his wet tongue licking my balls, I began stroking again.

_Peter leaned over my chest as he tied the silky material around my wrists, telling me he was going fuck me senseless. _

"Mmmm," he moaned, the vibrations from his lips made me shiver. "Watch yourself come on me."

_On my bed we lay facing each other, naked, Edward's hands in mine as he stared at me and called me his beautiful. _

My stomach muscles clenched.

"Coming," I growled and slowly opened my eyes. Pulling back, he opened his mouth wide to receive my orgasm. Two more pumps and I exploded on his face, hot cum landing on his cheeks, lips and mouth. Eagerly, his tongue licked every drop off his lips as he groaned and swallowed happily. I hadn't even caught my breath when he looked up at me.

"Now turn around, bend over and blow me," he said putting his hands on my hips. Swinging one leg over the chair, I turned around; I bent over, my ass in his face and took his small dick in my mouth. I felt his hands under my kilt groping my ass as he thrust into my mouth. He gripped my hips and pulled my ass to his face, spread me for him and then I felt his tongue circling my hole.

Wanting it over, I sucked harder. He came about thirty seconds later, shooting his load just as I released him.

For the next two hours, I jerked off three more times and blew him once more. He had me in various positions, one time he stroked me and twice I did it myself. After the first time, he insisted I do it while I was completely naked, the kilt lay on the ground with his boxers.

When I was done, I pulled the kilt on and grabbed my jacket, practically running to the door as he called out 'see you next time'.

Sometimes it sucked to be good at my job.

Aro couldn't stop smirking as I jogged to the car in the kilt, looking up and down the street for those that might have seen me exit in the early morning hours.

"What's next, a loincloth and swinging from trees?" he joked as I climbed into the car.

"Don't even suggest it," I sighed as he closed the door and went to the driver's seat.

"Talk about odd fetishes," he chuckled as he pulled out on to the empty road.

"Tell me about it. As long as he stays away from drag. There are some things even_ I_ won't do for money." I winked in the mirror at him. "Aro?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Would you mind, ah…"

"Getting some beer?" I smiled and nodded. "Of course, sir. We'll stop on the way to your place."

"Thanks, Aro."

"Anytime, sir."

"**~~**"

"_You know I can fuck you up real good, kid, right?_

_Silently, I nodded. _

"_Good, now suck me," he growled as he pushed my head toward his cock. He leaned back against the bathroom stall door as I kneeled before him on the floor. He didn't even have the courtesy to let me sit on the toilet. Gripping my messy hair in his fists, he guided his cock to my open mouth. "Suck me hard, kid."_

_I was eleven and already an expert at giving head. Luckily, that made him less likely to share me with his friends, as was the fate of some of the other boys. He hadn't fucked me yet, said he was taking his time breaking my 'skinny ass in'. I had been there less than six months, and I had been giving him blow jobs for four of those. Six months after giving my first blow job, one month after my twelve birthday, he was raping me for the first time. _

_I had been a virgin._

"_Jesus fucking Christ, kid, you were born to give head," he moaned, tilting his head back as he thrust into me. I knew the moves that made him come quicker, and performed them each and every time. He loved it when I swirled my tongue around his head and swallowed, and he practically howled when I dipped my tongue in his slit. "Fuck, your mouth is hot." Grunting, he came in my mouth, holding his cock deep my throat by keeping my nose buried in his curls as his hips jerked and he pulsed in me. _

_Just then the door to the bathroom opened and a boy walked in. _

"_Fuck," he mumbled, pulling from my mouth, he stuffed his semi-hard cock into his shorts and zipped them up. "Stand up." I did as I was told. "Stay quiet until I call you." He turned and exited the stall, closing the door behind him as I heard the footsteps of the other boy get closer. _

"_What's up, Ian?" the other kid greeted. I heard the water in the sink running._

"_Nothing, just getting some head from the kid," he replied casually. _

"_If he's as good as you say, you should really think about sharing him." _

"_No fucking way, that sweet virgin ass is all mine. Get out here kid," he called to me. Slowly I opened the door and walked to him with my head down. He yanked my chin up. "See those lips, just imagine how good those lips would be around your dick." Pushing me hard to my knees again, he told the other boy. "This is how he is best. At least until I'm fucking more than his mouth."_

_I stayed on my knees until they had left, then I crawled back to the stall, curled up on the floor and cried. _

The alarm blared and I reached over without looking, slamming down hoping to hit the snooze button giving me another precious nine minutes.

Why was it fucking nine minute and not an even ten? I had wondered that every since I had bought the damn thing, never having had an alarm clock before, it confused me. In the Home, the dorm mothers had gotten us up on time and when I had lived at home, I woke up on my own.

I had gotten in a little after two in the morning and immediately had taken another shower to wash the feel of Mr. Jones off me. Then I had enjoyed a few of the beers Aro had bought for me before passing out in bed around three. Tossing and turning for the four hours I had been in bed, I had barely slept. The fucking nightmares were getting more frequent. I knew why and I knew what I had to do to get rid of them.

Nine minutes later, I was yawning and stretching and stumbling to the bathroom. While I was in there, I heard my Blackberry go off with a new calendar appointment. When I finished, I pulled my briefs back up, went to my nightstand and picked the phone up. My appointment for that night had changed to an earlier time and Tanya had scheduled in a second one. Suddenly, I longed for the weekend and being able to spend a complete night with Peter. Although, he often wore me out much more than two clients ever could. Staying in my briefs, I went to the kitchen and fixed some breakfast before sitting down on the couch with my laptop and turning the news on. Upon booting up the laptop, I opened a browser and went straight to a search engine, something I had been meaning to do for over week but hadn't had the downtime to do it properly.

I typed Edward Cullen into the search bar and clicked.

Impatiently, I waited.

Admittedly, I was surprised when a few hundred hits came up.

Mr. Cullen was a popular boy.

Business Weekly, USA Today, Cullen Pharmaceuticals….

Curious, I clicked on the last one, bringing up the apparent home page of a family company. It was a boring website, and I scanned for his name, finding several mentions of under their daily updates. According to the site, he was working on a merger with some company in Seattle, which explained his frequent trips here. Unable to resist, I click on the contact button and searched the list of names, finding him under Head of Mergers and Acquisitions.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony. He had acquisitioned me and then we had merged.

A few times.

He seemed kind of young to be the head of a department, then again, it was his family's company, there had to be perks that went along with the name. After I bookmarked the site, I went back to the search engine and clicked on another link, complete with image.

"Cullen Pharmaceutical's Head of Mergers and Acquisitions Edward Cullen, was questioned about the merger with REM at this weekend's press junket. He replied with no comment, and then smiled slyly before responding that his father, Carlise Cullen, CEO of Cullen Pharmaceuticals, would have him gutted if he answered it. Mr. Cullen answered all but two questions, both of which referred to the current deal with REM. Obviously, his reputation for charming the press was evident as he had the reporters eating out of the palm of his hand by the time the conference was over.

The rumors of the REM merger began back in January…."

Bored, I click on the image to enlarge it.

Beautiful.

He was standing in front of a podium, his hands resting on it as he stood tall with a slight smirk on his face with a microphone in front of him. There were rows and rows of reporters sitting in front of him, all in suits with pads of paper and recorders in their hands. To me it looked like he was being fed to the lions, but the serene and confident look on his face told me he felt otherwise.

That was an environment he felt comfortable in. He was as at home before those people, being pummeled with a barrage of questions as I was sitting in some stranger's car while they sucked my dick.

Going back to the search results, I clicked on the images button and was pleased when two full pages of Edward appeared, picture after picture of him in suits at press conferences, the opening of a hospital wing and a benefit dinner for AIDS. I click on one of the benefit dinner link, which lead me to s site with a few dozen images from the dinner. Including a few more of Edward.

He was in light gray, custom fit suit, standing between an older blond man and a young dark haired woman. Edward's eyes sparkled, his arms were around them both as all three smiled at the camera.

I felt the familiar twinge in my cock and shifted a bit. Putting my feet up on the table, I leaned back and placed the laptop on my thighs. Deciding it was creepy to touch myself to a picture of Edward with his family by his side, I went back to the main page and selected an image of him alone. I made the picture full size, and muted my television before I let my hand run across my chest and down my stomach to the black band of my briefs. Skimming over it, my hand grazed over my hardening cock as I stared his picture.

His eyes.

His smile.

His flushed cheeks.

Gripping myself thought the soft cotton material, I stroked lightly, growing harder each second I looked at the monitor. I wanted nothing more than to slip my underwear off, take my cock in my hand and pump myself until I was crying out and coming all over his image.

However, I had two clients later, and my strength, and cum, would need to be conserved.

But fuck, how I wanted to.

When I realized I was moving my hips up into my hand, I closed the laptop and turned the news up.

I was going to be fucked if let him seep into my life.

I refused.

When I reached for my coffee, I saw the money sitting on the table, and as I sipped it, I made my plans for the day.

""**~~**"

I didn't know what it was about the stench of the docks, whether it was the scent of the ocean, the fish, or the putrid odor of decaying warehouses and dirty hookers, but it sickened me.

Body odor, alcohol, drugs, sex…it all mixed together to create a smell that brought back memories I had tried my life to forget.

Though, there had been some happy times.

The scent that surrounded me as I walked along the docks was exactly the same as my kitchen when I had been a small boy. Being bounced in the knee of my father as my mother danced around our small kitchen to some old Beatles song. My father would laugh and sign loudly in my ear as he held me with one arm wrapped around my waist while his other hand scraped the white power, my mother called it their special baking powder, along the large mirror that sat on our table.

When I had been at the docks daily, I had grown used to the smell, even welcoming some of the memories it brought back, but that day, I just wanted to get back to my apartment and light a scented candle.

Some called it Paradise City after an old fishing company that used to occupy an entire corner of buildings. Only we didn't have green grass, we had cement and rotting wood, and our girls were anything but pretty.

The warehouses were mostly empty, the businesses long since gone, making the large brick buildings were the perfect place for hookers and drug addicts to rest on their down time. Most worked a few streets over, but it was too busy a place to squat, so a lot found shelter in the crumbling brick buildings with broken windows and graffiti decorating them.

I spotted him quicker than I expected too, he was just exiting one of the buildings across from me and I jogged over him as he stood just outside the door and lit a cigarette. As he looked up and saw me approach, he was apprehensive. Stopping a few feet away from him, I gave him a comfort zone, something we all appreciated on the streets, and let my hands hang by my side so he could see I was no threat.

"Blondie?" he asked as he exhaled a puff of smoke. It was the name I had given most of my colleagues on the streets, only very few knew my real name. He was skinny as hell, his clothes hanging off him, his jeans down around his ass and not his waist. His long, dark hair was greasy and gathered in clumps around his face, which, like the rest of his body, was littered with scars. Better known for dealing drugs, he wasn't above selling or trading himself. We had known each other for a few years, sometimes meeting up in the dark alleys. As he sold the drugs, I would walk by with a john on my way to his car to get fucked.

Smiling, I nodded. "How you been, Rick?" He tilted his head, his eyes going up and down me a few times before speaking again.

"Aw, you know, same shit different day, right?" He paused, "I almost didn't fucking recognize you. You look different. You clean up good, Blondie. What's the occasion?"

"No occasion, just some new clothes," I shrugged, almost feeling bad about the cologne I had put on earlier. I had left the designer clothes at home and had worn Levis, tee shirt and a leather jacket. "How's business?" I asked, stuffing my hands into my jacket pockets.

He kicked at a rock on the ground and shrugged before bringing the cigarette up to his mouth with shaky fingers. "Some fuckers wanting ass and blow jobs, ya know? Fucking assholes. How about you? I haven't seen you around."

"I'm working a different part of town now," I said in half-truth.

"Cool, cool. Fuckers pay better so you get those nice clothes?"

"A little. Still being fucked though, that won't ever change," I sighed.

Tossing his cigarette on the ground, he crushed it with the toe of his sneaker. "Hey, how's that cut, hold up alright?" he asked, staring at the ground.

Laughing, I nodded. "Yep, looks like a real doctor did it," I complimented before getting to the real reason I was there. "You seen Riley?"

His head shot up. "What the fuck you want with Riley? Blondie, stay away from him," he warned.

"Why?"

He looked around us before speaking. As if the addicts cared what the fuck he had to say. "He is so far up James's ass," he shook his head, "can't trust him, Blondie….trust me."

"Can't trust anyone on the streets," I reminded him. Conceding, he nodded. "I need to find him, where's he working?"

With a sigh, he leaned back against the building. "He's bad news, Blondie, you know that, right?"

"Yeah. Ricky, I just need to talk to him."

"The last I heard he was over on 5th and Market. That was a few days ago, I don't know if he's still there."

"Thanks," I said as I pulled my hand out of my pocket, holding a pack of cigarettes. "Here, on me." I held them out to him." Eying them, he seemed confused. "I gave them up," I shrugged.

"Bullshit. You don't smoke. I've offered one to you before, and you told me you didn't smoke, it was bad for your health. "

He had me.

"Just take them." I motioned to them again. Finally, he reached out with a dirty hand and snagged them from me quickly before hiding them in his pocket like the precious commodity they were.

"Thanks, man," he gave me a half smile.

"No problem, thanks for the info. Take care of yourself," I nodded to him as I turned and headed toward 5th and Market.

In my pocket was over two thousand dollars in cash.

"**~~**"

It was mid- afternoon before I finally saw him. The car pulled up and the passenger door opened. He got out and turned around, leaning back in the car over the seat, he took something from the guy and then shoved it in his mouth before standing up straight and closing the door. With a squeal of the tires, the car took off. Sniffing, he turned and saw me, a grin spreading over his face. Casually, he looked both ways before he walked over to me with a satisfied look.

He actually looked slightly better than he had last time I had seen him. As he got closer I realized he had showered recently. His tee shirt was bunched up, his loose jeans hanging off him, his hip bones showing above their waistband. I felt a stirring in my cock.

"Are you here to fuck me?" he asked hopefully as he approached and brushed his long hair out of his eyes.

If I had been there a few days earlier, my answer would have been a definite yes.

I ignored his question. "Friend of yours?" I asked, nodding to the speeding car as I leaned against a building.

Glancing at the car, he looked back and smirked. "No, a_ client_," he said, emphasizing the word client. He looked me over. "So, if you're not here to fuck, what the hell do you want?"

Had he always been so direct? There was no small talking with Riley. "It's wonderful to see you too, Rile, I'm great, thanks for asking…dickhead."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Fine…hey, Jasper, fucking awesome to see you. I want your dick in my ass, care to help me out with that?"

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Where's your driver?" he asked looking down the road. "I don't see Lurch anywhere…"

"I came alone. I needed to see you," I answered quietly.

"See me but not fuck me?" he paused then held out his arms and spun around. "Well, you've seen me…now what?"

Making sure we were alone, I spoke in a low voice, "I need to see James. Where is he?"

"Why?"

"Fuck, Rile, just tell me," I said exasperatedly.

He shook his head. "Unless you got hi-"

"I do," I interrupted. He lowered his chin and raised an eyebrow. "Well, two grand of it."

"Jesus, I need to get a job like yours," he whistled and rubbed his face with his probably cum- covered hands. Dirt had gathered under his nails and lightly streaked his arms, and I could smell alcohol on his breath.

But underneath the dirt and long hair was a hot boy with a beautiful straight nose, high cheekbones, strong jaw and huge dick. He had potential…just no hope of finding it.

"Not like that you won't," I motioned to his dirty, baggy clothes.

"What, they only fucking want fucking designer clothes?" I ignored him. "Whatever," he sighed.

"So where is he?" I repeated.

Riley hesitated, shifting his weight from foot to foot, his hands going into his pockets. He practically bounced with the nervous energy he had. I wondered what drug he had taken in the car that was starting to kick in. Every time I saw him, I was grateful that I had been smart enough to stay off the shit. While I had been tempted, I had had my own reasons for staying away from something that was just going to fuck up my life even more. After all I had witnessed the devastation first hand. I had been a victim of it.

Swaying, he finally said, "Last I saw him was last night, he was with the guy with the mohawk…Duffy or Buffy or something,…"

"Where, Rile?" I asked trying to regain the focus he was quickly losing.

"Um," he hung his head back and closed his eyes. "Corner of 20th and North High," he finally finished.

"Thanks, Rile," I said and he nodded his head quickly. "You eaten lately?"

"Yeah, James treated us all to lunch at the Space Needle," he shot back sarcastically.

"Cut the shit," I retorted. Immediately, he looked apologetic and shrugged.

"Sometime yesterday morning, I think," he finally replied.

"You think?"

"Jesus, is this a fucking test? Yes, sometime yesterday morning." I pulled a hundred dollar bill out of the pocket of my jeans and held it out to him. He looked down, his eyes widening impossibly. "Are you fucking kidding me? You sure you don't want to fuck me?"

"Just take it, but please don't buy any shit with it. Eat, get some clean clothes, new sneakers, but please just don't buy shit with it."

Not even trying to refuse it, quickly he snatched it and put it in his pocket before grabbing my hand and pulling me around the corner of the building. Once we were out of the view of the street, he began do undo his pants. He had them unbuttoned and unzipped in record speed.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked as he began to pull them down his ass.

"Fuck me," he begged.

"No."

He was naked underneath. On the streets a lot of us went commando. It was quicker, and underwear was too expensive to keep replacing when it got ripped, dirty, or stolen. Some johns even had a reputation for wanting our dirty, cum-stained underwear. Eventually, most boys just stopped wearing it all together. Using his hand, he began stroking himself, tilting his hips toward me so I could have a better view.

"Come on, you know what to," he teased, licking his lips.

"Rile, I didn't give you the money because I wanted to fuck you. I just want you to eat something. Besides, if I wanted to fuck you, I would just do it. I certainly wouldn't pay for your skinny ass."

He kept stroking himself and ran his other hand up my chest to my neck, where it curled behind me as he leaned in for a kiss. His lips were one of his many good features, full, wide…always tasted sweet. Our lips were only millimeters apart when I pulled back.

"Stop," I demanded. "I'm not fucking you."

He released my neck. "Why not?"

"I've got clients later."

Smirking, he shook his hair from his deep brown eyes. "Is that the only reason?"

Honestly, I wanted nothing more than to take him right then, throw him against a wall and fuck his scrawny ass until he came all over the pavement at his feet. I wanted to show him who was in control.

"Yes," I replied truthfully. Satisfied, he smiled. Grabbing my hand, he brought it to his hard cock and wrapped my fingers around him before stroking him with our hands.

"It misses you," he winked, and I almost gave in…almost. Riley had a power over me, he had for a long time, we used each other, we were mutually beneficial to the other. He had what I wanted, and I gave him what he wanted. He was the closest thing I had ever had to a boyfriend.

Unless being raped repeatedly was considered a relationship.

No. I was definitely not the relationship type. There would be no happily ever after for me, no clicking my heels and finding myself back in Kansas surrounded by friends and family.

Moaning, I pulled our hands off his cock. "Put it away. Go get some food." I instructed calmly, and surprisingly he did as I asked and pulled up his pants.

"Your loss," he smiled and I nodded.

"I know. Take care, Rile," I leaned in and kissed his lips, just barely brushing mine over his before walking away.

"Hey, Jasper," he called out after me. Stopping, I turned around. "Thanks…and ah… be careful," he actually sounded concerned.

"I will," I promised, turning, I left the alley.

"**~~**"

Seattle was my own personal Emerald City, complete with the bad witch. Although he didn't write his threats in the sky on a broom…he sent Riley instead.

I had been watching him from across the street for about an hour. He hadn't moved much, only to sit on the steps of the building behind him. Every now and then one of his hookers would come up and hand him something, sometimes he gave them something in return, other times he just sent them on their way. From a safe distance, I watched a large black woman dressed in black spandex approach him. They spoke for a minute, and I could their conversation escalating. Suddenly, he reached out and smacked her across her cheek. Her hand shot to her face as stared at him in shock before walking off. Smirking as she left, he sat back down on the steps and began counting the money she had handed him.

It was time.

Taking a deep breath, I looked down the street and jogged across it, coming up on his left, I glanced around to see if anyone might be with him. I wanted him alone. In my jacket pocket, my fingers gripped the smooth handle of the switchblade.

I wasn't an idiot.

Shielding his eyes from the afternoon sun, he looked up at me. "Nice jacket," he smiled as I neared him. "Look you all dressed up pretending to be something you're not. How you been, Jasper? Long time no see."

"You been looking for me?" Fuck the small talk.

Chuckling, he stood up. He was considerably shorter than I was, but he was muscular, powerful, and compact. Long blond hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, his unshaven jaw was square, his lips dry, his eyes were almost black and…just fucking hallow. He was one the most sadistic fucks I had ever met.

"As a matter of fact, I have. Seems you owe me some money," he explained with an evil grin.

"What the fuck for?" I jutted my chin out to challenge him.

"What, you want a fucking invoice? You were working for me when you up and ran off, you owe me that money, plain and simple."

"I don't owe you shit. I paid you the day before I left. We were even," I spoke confidently.

"I beg to differ. We had a deal, remember? I held up my end of the deal, and you…well, you ran off. Now, you owe me money."

I remembered the deal clearly. James had been after me to work for him almost since the day I first walked onto the streets, but I had always refused, instead working for myself. The protection he offered would have been nice, but there was no fucking way I was splitting what little money I made with anyone. After over a year of refusing to work for him, one day I agreed.

The reason for the agreement…Riley.

Riley had been using pretty heavily, and when the cheap shit wasn't providing the high he wanted anymore, he moved on the expensive shit, which was more than he could afford. Getting in debt quickly, he found himself with some bad ass dealers after him. Riley and I had always worked for ourselves but he needed the protection, so he struck a deal with James. He would get sixty percent of Riley's take, protect him from the dealers and pay off the one grand Riley already owed. Being high all the fucking time lead to a decrease in johns, no one wanted to fuck a zombie. Decreased johns meant less income for James. Then he owed James money.

Riley had come to me one night, scared shitless after a meeting with James. He had been hit a few times, and told me the threats that had been made.

He asked for my help.

I couldn't refuse him.

The next day, I went to James and offered him seventy percent take of my money for six months. If Riley and I both worked for him for six months, the debt would be paid off.

Tanya had approached me four months in. While I was certain Riley's debt had been paid in full, I was technically still James's for another eight weeks, but I walked away anyway.

"The way I see it, you owe me the money you would have made for that two months, future profits and all," he mumbled around the cigarette he put in his mouth and lit.

"I'm good, but even I wouldn't have made ten grand in two months and you fucking know it," I argued.

At least, not when I worked the streets.

"Ten grand sounded reasonable to me," he shrugged, pulling the cigarette out and exhaling a puff of smoke at my face. "Got a problem with it?" his lip curled up. My heart raced and my hand held the blade tighter. "Rumor has it you got yourself a sugar daddy, have him pay it," he suggested.

Riley hadn't told him the truth.

That revelation made me smile a bit inside. Perhaps he did have a sense of loyalty buried deep down.

"I don't fucking own you shit and you know it."

He pulled the butt from his lips and held it up to me. "You really want to fucking test my patience? You know what I'm capable of." He put the butt closer to my cheek, but I stood completely still, my eyes never leaving his. If he thought I had never been threatened by anything before, he had another thing coming. "The money or…."

"Or what?"

"You're sweet little Riley might just accidently step off a curb into oncoming traffic," he snarled. I felt the heat from the cigarette as he held it less than an inch from my skin.

_Fuck._

"Fucking Leave him the fuck out of this. I'm the one that fucking left, not him," I said calmly, reasonably. He pulled the butt away from my face and shrugged.

"It's simple. You have a few choices. You either come back to work for me-"

"Fucking not going to happen," I spat, my body becoming more and more tense, my muscles coiling.

Ignoring me, he continued, "You pay me twelve grand-"

"You said ten," I corrected him.

"Interest. I'm a business man after all."

I remained silent, but stared at him, squinting in the rare sunlight, my fingers twitched around the handle, tempted to pull it out of my pocket.

"Twelve grand," he reiterated, "which is still a reasonable amount, or… Riley has an unfortunate _accident_," he winked at the last part.

I had no choice. I couldn't go back to work for him, there was no way I could work for both, and the money I was making at Tanya's was my way out of this shithole. I wouldn't risk my job with her.

Riley.

I sighed. I should have had no loyalty to the bastard. It's not like we were best buds having sleepovers and braiding each others' hair. I fucked him in alleys and on dirty mattresses in abandoned buildings, that was all he was to me… a decent ass to stick my dick in.

But it wasn't. And James knew it. It was why he had sent Riley to find me. While I knew Riley would never return the favor, there was no way I could let James fuck him up because of me.

I had no choice.

I had to pay the money.

Reluctantly, I pulled the cash from my pocket. "Here's two grand. I'll have the rest as soon as I can."

He reached for the money and counted it before putting it in his pocket. "Your sugar daddy is treating you real nice, Blondie. He must like that tight ass of yours."

I wanted to tell him I had earned every fucking cent of that money, that no one had just handed it to me. No one had just handed me anything in my life, not I would have taken it if they had. But I kept my mouth shut, if he didn't know about my work, I wasn't about to tell him.

He leaned around my side a bit. "Mmm…that is a sweet ass. No wonder you found yourself a daddy to fuck it every night." Standing up straight, he stepped close enough I could smell his breath. "Do you like his dick in your ass, Jasper? I bet he can't satisfy you." Glaring at him, my heart pounded in my chest and my hand began pulling the blade out. He was so close, no one was around to witness it, not that they'd care if they did. He sized me up before shaking his head. "He's gonna get tired of that used ass of yours, then you are going to come crawling back to me on your fucking hands and knees, begging to work for me again."

"I will fucking never work for you again," I growled.

"We'll see, Blondie," he smirked and stepped back. "Twelve grand, each week I don't have it, it goes up a grand." He affectively ended the conversation.

"Fucking asshole," I murmured under my breath.

"It's just business, Jasper, just business."

I turned and walked away, the switchblade gripped tightly in my hand.

I was utterly and royally fucked.

Before I could dive into the darkness I felt pressing down on me, I felt my phone vibrate with a message. Releasing the knife, I reached in my pocket and pulled my Blackberry out. Tanya had sent a calendar update.

_Saturday 8pm-8am, Edward Cullen, The __Renaissance Hotel, suite 5_

He had booked me for an entire fucking night…or an entire night of fucking. With a smile, I walked home, flashes of his brilliant off-colored hair, lust-filled deep ocean eyes, and tasty cock passing before me with each step I took.

Hair, eyes, cock…oh my.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Thanks to bouncy72, we have a thread at Twighted- come say hi, we have pictures, teasers, answer questions about Mergerward and Ecscortsper.

**http:// www . twilighted . net/forum/viewtopic . php?f=44&t=9674 **(remove spaces)


	8. Body Heat

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and recommended (hey, the three Rs!) this story. We are amazed and humbled by the response it has received; we've got a lot planned, so enjoy Mergerward and Escortsper. In order to meet a deadline we set for ourselves, this chapter is a mixture of both of us, 80% Dannie, 20% me.

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

Our beta is overworked, underpaid and not available, so this chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are ours.

"**~~**"

Epov~

Standing in the full length mirror that hung on the door of my large closet, I ran my fingers through my hair one last time in hopes of taming it, its natural chaos looking even more ridiculous when I had a tuxedo on.

The suit looked fine, I supposed. It was specifically tailored for me but I didn't see much difference between the one I was wearing right then and the one I had wore the last time I had to attend an event. I definitely preferred Armani over Lauren. It was a personal preference, the materials were similar, but the closer cut of the Armani gave me an edge I enjoyed. It was pure black with a silk lapel and pants that were snug enough to make the women notice but not enough to be uncomfortable. Under the jacket was a pure white shirt, almost blinding white, a contrast to the black silk tie I wore knotted around my neck. I knew I would get grief from my mother about it not being a bowtie, but if I flashed her a smile and told her I would wear the bowtie next time, she would quickly forgive me. The suit itself I didn't mind so much, it was the person I had to be when I had to put it on; Edward Cullen, sole heir to the Cullen fortune, brilliant businessman and obedient son, charming, eloquent...straight.

Happy.

I wasn't happy.

And I definitely was not straight.

Chuckling out loud at the thought of my father's business partners getting a glimpse at my recent credit card statements, I shut the closet door and I couldn't help but notice the symbolism. While I may have been heading to a boring charity event, my true self, my wants and needs, was locked away in the same damn closet I had just walked from.

Walking out of my bedroom, I headed for the kitchen to bid my maid and part time cook, Chelsea, goodnight. "Go ahead and lock up when you leave, please, Chelsea. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes sir, Mr. Cullen. Have a good time tonight," she said, putting away the last of my dishes.

I laughed humorlessly. "How about you take my place and we'll let you have the good time?"

She just smiled, studiously ignoring my comment. With one more good night, I left the comforting confines of my apartment building and climbed into the black limousine. Felix was already waiting in the driver seat with the car running. "Good evening, Mr. Cullen. Are we picking Ms. Swan up on the way?"

Felix knew that she was my standard date for these sorts of parties. Well, for any kind of party, really. "Yes we are." I replied, checking my phone for the email I had been waiting for all day.

I had scheduled another appointment with Jasper but I had requested him for the entire night. The last time had been spectacular, more than words could describe...except waking up alone. It was an odd emotion for me to experience, the nagging feeling of rejection and hurt. I wasn't accustomed to that because, prior to Jasper, I hadn't cared if the guy was there the next morning. As a matter of fact, it was the exact opposite. I _needed_ them to disappear before daybreak, to sneak out in the middle of the night and never look back.

It was easier to act as if nothing had ever happened.

However, when I woke up and Jasper was gone, I had felt empty. I didn't like it and was going to avoid that feeling again at all costs.

As we pulled up to Bella's house, I had just checked my phone for the third time in less than twenty minutes, my nerves winding tight as I waited impatiently for the confirmation email from Tanya. If he was already booked for the night I had requested, I would simply offer more money. That was the language I knew best and had full confidence in my ability to sway people one way or another with paying a little more than the other guy. After all, it was my area of expertise.

Knocking on Bella's front door, I heard the clicking of her heels before a stutter in the sound and I knew she had tripped. I was smiling when she opened the door. "Regardless of how handsome you look in that tux, it does not give you permission to laugh at my clumsiness," she huffed, reaching up to tug at her lip self consciously.

She looked beautiful, of course, as she always did. Her long brown hair was partially up and gently curled at the ends. The black dress she wore complimented her figure perfectly, simple yet elegant with a fitted, strapless bodice that flared at her waist and was floor length, brushing the tops of her silver heels. The matching set of silver and diamond earrings and necklace I had brought for her one Christmas completed the look as well as a silver, rose shaped clip that held up her hair.

"I wasn't laughing, I was simply stunned into stupidity by your beauty," I lied smoothly, grabbing her hand and bringing it to my mouth and placing a gentle kiss on the back.

Rolling her eyes even as a blush covered her cheeks, she pulled her hand out of my grasp and reached up to adjust my tie. "Well, you're a shitty liar but you get an 'A' for effort. You really do look very handsome, Edward."

"And you are truly stunning, Bella. I just hope I can stay this way all night with you grasping at my arm the entire time to keep from falling," I winked. Closing the door behind her and locking it, she looked at me with a mock death glare and walked right past me to the car, struggling a bit to get her dress in the car before she shut the door. Following, I climbed in and looked over at her, grinning widely when she flipped me off.

"To the Concorde, please, Felix."

During the ride, Bella and I made conversation about work and her personal life, the stray cat she had taken in as well as the dates she had recently been on. Nothing out of the ordinary for us. Thankfully, she didn't inquire about my personal affairs so there were no awkward pauses or unnecessary lies to be told. I easily evaded all of her questions about 'the person in Seattle that made me glow'. I didn't like lying to Bella, it made me feel like a complete ass to lie to someone who was so understanding and caring, but she was too close to my business and my family. No matter how comfortable I was with Bella or how much I trusted her, I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth about me, just in case our situation took a turn for the worse some day, I couldn't let her have that kind of ammunition about me. While it was a terrible thought, it was a reasonable one. I couldn't afford to take any risks even if, deep down, I knew Bella would never do anything to hurt me.

It wasn't long before Felix pulled up in front of the Concorde, a place I was familiar with. I had been there a few times in the past year for fundraisers, and once for a wedding of a colleague whose name I can't remember. There were many places in Chicago that held banquets, and I had attended something at almost all of them at least once, but the Concorde was probably my favorite. When the fake socializing got to be too much, I could sneak away to the deep green lawn by the pond and watch the swans swimming next to each other. From my childhood, I remembered they mated for life, and I would stand and watch them with envy. Even the swans had something I never would.

Felix held our door as I slid out of the seat before turning and putting out my hand for Bella. Gracefully, she extracted herself from the car, her form fitting dress showing off every curve of her shapely body as she stood and looked up at me. I let go of her hand and held my arm out for her, she wrapped her hand around my forearm.

"Ready for another exciting night?" I chuckled as I nodded to Felix and we headed along the gold carpet to the door. We were greeted by several photographers that lined the walk way, and we politely smiled at them all, even stopping and posing for a few of them. Bella looked up at me quizzically when more than one shouted out congratulations to me and asked if Bella was the luckiest girl in Chicago. "Of course, she's on my arm," I joked back to them.

Finally, we made it up the stairs and inside the lobby. People were everywhere in small groups throughout the large foyer, some even on the wide staircase directly in front of us. To our right was a fountain decorated with seasonal flowers and to our left were the doors adorned with ivy that led to the hall our function was in. The room was huge, long and narrow with large round tables lining the sides. The walls were covered in tan tapestries that led to thick molding along the ceilings with gold-toned chandeliers hanging from heavy chains. The tables were all covered in typical white linen with flower arrangements in the center of each one filling the room with a fresh aroma. Each place setting was set with their finest China, crystal glasses, and pure silverware. The only thing different from then last time I had been there was the pattern design on the China.

Pink Rosebuds instead of yellow tulips.

In the center of the room taking up most of the space was a polished wooden dance floor. Although I didn't see a DJ anywhere, I could hear the soft music playing, and while at the moment there were people mingling on the floor, I knew it wouldn't be long before we would be asked to dance. It was the part of the evening I dreaded the most. Holding someone close, pretending to enjoy myself when they were usually just another means to an end. A way to please my mother to see me dancing with a woman, a way to show off to my fellow colleagues, or a way to pretend, for one more night, that I was actually the straight man everyone thought I was.

It was no different for them. They all used me for the same reasons, it was mutually beneficial and we all knew it. It was just the way things worked. I was there to appease my parents; everyone was there to do a job, to accomplish something. No one attended because they wanted to.

Without drawing attention to myself, I glanced quickly around the room, wondering if he was here. I hadn't seen Spencer since the last banquet about three months ago when he had caught my attention as he stood in the corner with a board member. Through the grapevine, I had heard he was the son of a board member and being groomed much like I had been. He was younger than me and still in college. His father had been one of the ones that had been talking about Tim in my parent's kitchen. I had watched his son, nodding at him when he caught me staring…and smirking when he didn't look away.

I had wondered if his daddy knew his son was holding the gaze of another man…and liking it.

Looking around the room, I found him, standing next to his father and a pretty blond on his arms. He looked as bored as I was. When he looked up, his eyes met mine and even from across the room I could see the flush cover his cheeks. He was no Jasper, but he was handsome, dark brown eyes with brown hair and full lips. Nodding slightly, I acknowledged his blush and smiled. Lowering his eyes for second, he took a deep breath before lifting his head and smiling at me.

Six months ago, I never would have even dared smile at another man, now I was envisioning him on his knees in a bathroom stall while he sucked me dry.

With Bella on my arm, we smiled at everyone as we made our way through the room, barely stepping inside before we were accosted by my mother.

Sighing, I smiled weakly at Bella. "Here she comes."

"Be nice," Bella chided me and I chuckled. My mother approached, stopping before me to reach up and kiss my cheek.

"Edward, how wonderful to see you, you look very handsome as always," she said as she pulled back and fingered my silk tie. "Bella, you look beautiful."

"Thank you, Esme," Bella smiled.

"You two will dance later, yes?" my mother asked as she picked some imaginary lint off my jacket.

"Of course. It's why we're here, right? To parade around like peacocks?" I sounded more sarcastic than I had intended and it did not go unnoticed by my mother.

"Edward," she scolded. "You know how important these events are."

Sighing, I looked away. "Yes, I do."

And I would exactly what was expected; dance, flirt with the daughters…and sons, compliment the CEOs, and seal the next deal.

"Edward," her tone turned motherly, and without continuing I knew exactly what she was saying. 'Smarten up, don't be a spoiled brat, this is for your father, etc'

And she was right.

"I will be on my best behavior, I promise," I winked at her, pulling Bella with me before my mother could stop us.

Keeping a tight grip on my forearm, Bella and I made our way through the crowd, avoiding the dance floor as I headed straight for the open bar that lined the back wall. Bella pinched my bicep. "You don't have to act as though this is torture. It _is_ a party, Edward. Why not try to have some fun?"

I just gave her a small smile, keeping my expression as innocent as possible. She wanted to see me have some fun, I would make sure she got her wish. Finally releasing my arm, she braced herself on the bar as I ordered myself a glass of cabernet sauvignon and a shot of Courvoisier. Bella raised an eyebrow at my order but said nothing, simply ordering a glass of champagne. Quickly downing my shot, I slid the shot glass away from me and grabbed my wine, letting the dry, full-bodied liquid assault my taste buds. Once I felt the light buzz from the shot working through my body, I took Bella's glass from her and set it on the bar before taking her hand and leading her towards the dance floor. She quickly realized where we were going and asked in a panicked voice, "Edward, what do you think you are doing?"

Without looking at her, I answered simply, "I'm having some fun."

Bella hated dancing, she was never sturdy enough on her feet but when she had the right partner, she actually danced quite beautifully. Even though, she still chose to avoid the dance floor as much as humanly possible. Tightening my grip on her hand, I spun her to face me as soon as we reached the middle of the dance floor, choosing to ignore all the stares we were getting. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pulled her close to me, a little closer than mere friends would have been but I was there to give the people a show and that's exactly what I planned to do. Her hand immediately went to my shoulder where she gripped it just a little too tight and I chuckled at the frown on her face.

"Bella, you know I would never let you fall," I said seriously. "Just follow my lead and try not to step on my feet too much. I had bruises after last time," I finished with a crooked grin.

"Bite me, Cullen."

I laughed heartily for what felt like the first time in ages, the alcohol making me feel lighter and more carefree than I had in weeks. Twirling her around the dance floor, I noticed all the women whispering and pointing, much like they were in high school, though whether they were saying good things about me or bad things about Bella, I couldn't be sure.

Leaning forward, I kissed her cheek and whispered, "Ready to give them a show?"

I heard her giggle before she nodded, moving her arms to wrap around my neck. Bella was used to this. She knew when we attended these events together that her role was to be the non-girlfriend girlfriend- helping me to appear to be taken and available all at the same time. For some reason that I couldn't figure out, our faces always ended up in the paper the day after, assumptions and accusations of our "relationship" and when my face was in the paper so was the Cullen name.

That's what I was, after all. Just a name that symbolized power and money.

Wrapping my arms around her slender waist, I let one hand fall dangerously low, resting right above her ass, enough to be considered sexual but not enough to be indecent, while the other gripped her hip. Dropping a kiss to her bare shoulder, I smiled against her skin when I noticed that even the people dancing around us had practically stopped to watch our display, Bella's fingers combing through my hair only added to it.

"Smile pretty. President of JBRC is headed this way," Bella whispered.

I sighed. I knew it was coming, I had anticipated it but that didn't mean I liked it.

Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder and I plastered on my grin, turning us around to greet him. "Good evening, Lucas, how are you?" I briefly released Bella to shake his hand.

"Nice to see you again, Edward." He shook my hand with a tight grip, his sweaty palm made me want to cringe. "How's that merger coming along?"

Once again, I knew it was coming. Lucas's father's companies had battled over the merger with REM but, as usual, when my father wanted something, there wasn't much anyone could do but get out of his way. Lucas still held a grudge, everyone could tell regardless of how nonchalant he tried to be about it. Since I wasn't "the man" yet, I guess he had an easier time antagonizing me about it instead of my father. If only he realized how much it didn't bother me, I was raised anticipating it and no amount of criticism or negativity about my father's company he spouted off could have any affect on me.

I simply took it with a smile.

"Quite nicely, Lucas. I'm heading it up myself."

He rolled his dull brown eyes, completely unnerved by the fact that he was _standing_ on a dance floor. "My God, Cullen actually put a child in charge of something this beneficial? He must really be getting senile."

I just barely bit back my comment of how he would be in the nursing home long before my father. "Well, if he can't trust his own son..." I shrugged, a smile ghosting over my lips as I asked my next question. "Speaking of which, how is your son, Lucas?"

It was a low blow, I knew it, but with the alcohol in my system, my verbal filter seemed to be disappearing more by the minute. Lucas's son was currently in rehab after spending a little too much of daddy's money at a local strip club and wrapping his twenty-first birthday present, a red Viper, around a tree. Amazingly enough, the only injuries he sustained was a broken knee and a concussion but Lucas's company and his ego took a hard hit, the media exploiting his son's little mess up on every newspaper, radio station, and talk show in Chicago.

His eyes narrowed a fraction before he took a sip of his bourbon and regained his composure. "He's doing much better. Should be coming home some time next month. If you'll excuse me, Edward."

With a nod of my head, I replied, "Of course, Lucas," then resumed my position with Bella, smiling wide at her disapproving expression. "What?"

"Don't you think that was a bit inappropriate?"

"Don't you think he deserved it?" I asked before performing a grand twirl and a dip, lifting her back up until our noses were almost touching.

Her eyes were dancing, a beautiful smile on her face even as she very subtly shoved the heel of her stiletto into the top of my foot. Remembering we had an audience, I tried to hide my grimace as the pain became almost unbearable, breathing a sigh of relief when she moved her foot back.

"Bella..." I choked out, still managing to dance even as my foot throbbed.

"What have I told you about twirling? I'm not a twirling type of girl of Edward." While her voice was fierce, her happy expression never faltered.

Just as the song ended, I kissed her cheek softly and whispered, "I know, but I think the man with the drool running down his chin would probably disagree." I motioned with a slight nod of my head in the direction of the handsome guy who had been watching her every movement since we first walked on to the dance floor.

Giving a sideways glance, she perked up and said, "Thank you for the wonderful dance, Edward. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some mingling to do."

Chuckling, I released her and walked off the dance floor, heading back for the bar. Bella had come as my date and my father would probably give me shit for letting her blatantly flirt with another man but I didn't care. After putting up with me for so long, dealing with these parties and all of the fuss that came with them, I wasn't going to deny her a little fun, no matter the consequences.

"Shit," I mumbled as I neared the bar, a familiar flash a red hair appearing and I quickly turned around, ready to head for the men's room but I was too late.

"Oh, Edward!" Her sickly sweet voice called from behind me and that time, I did visibly cringe. Turning back around slowly, I worked to put a pleasant expression on my face as I saw her practically running towards me. She was trying to be seductive, swaying her hips and poking her chest out but she failed miserably. If only she knew that she was lacking certain equipment and that her fake breasts and soft curves could never be a turn on for me.

"Hello, Kate. Good to see you again," I greeted, forcing myself to return her hug as she threw her arms around me. She was almost as tall as I was with her heels on, and knowing Kate they were sharp and flashy, just like the rest of her. Her long, red hair fell in silky strands around her bare shoulders, which I swear sparkled a bit in the light. Highlighting the best features daddy's money could buy were intense blue eyes, light in color, but deep in desire. Above them perfectly arched brows and below them, plump lips stained with crimson, they looked as though she had sucked someone's blood and they were covered in evidence. Her dentist had done his work as well as her plastic surgeon; her smile was brilliant and blinding. I had seen Kate many times over the years, and knew that under the expensive, professionally applied makeup was a fresh-faced beautiful girl, but like us all, she felt the need to wear the mask in public, pretending to be something, or someone, she wasn't.

"Do you like my dress?" she winked, taking a step back and showing off more of her plastic surgeon's work. The dress was full length, from her waist down was a lime green satin with a split traveling from her hip to the bottom, exposing one very long, muscular, tanned leg. No one with her natural hair color tanned that well, it was just more affirmation of her visit to the spa earlier that day. The top part of her dress was strapless, a sheer light lime lace exposing her taunt abdomen while her breasts were slightly more modestly covered with embroidered flowers. Kate always wanted attention and the color of the dress stood out from the sea of red and black dresses in the room. She accomplished her mission.

"Daddy bought it for me off the Paris runway last week," she announced before slithering back up to me.

"As always, you look beautiful," I smiled. How could she not, she had the body and face put together by the best of the best.

Trailing her hand up my chest, she ran her fake nails across my neck lightly and hummed appreciatively. "Mmm...and aren't you just a sight for sore eyes. I swear you look sexier every time I see you, which is not often enough." She leaned in close to my ear as her hand fell from my neck to the waistband of my slacks, her nails skimming along the inside. "When are you going to take me on a private tour of the grand Cullen mansion?"

Of course, it came back to the possessions. Kate wasn't interested in _me_, she was interested in my bank account.

Forcing myself to laugh, I gently grabbed her wrist, entwining my fingers with hers and enjoying the gasp that left her at my intimate touch. Holding her hand was much better than having her grope me in public, it would also save her the embarrassment of realizing that she couldn't even get me hard, no matter how hard she tried.

"As soon as I get a second to breathe, Kate. You know you're number one on my list once I get a break," I spoke seductively and finished with my trademark crooked grin.

Her breath hitched and her eyes narrowed as she slipped her arms over my shoulders again. "Such a tease, Edward Cullen," she whispered, her green eyes meeting mine as she shifted, her knee sliding between mine and her thigh pressing against my crotch. My arms instinctively wrapped around her slim waist as she pressed her fake breasts into me. "You looked so handsome on the cover of Scene, I only wish I would have been by your side."

That confused me.

"What?" I asked, leaning back to look at her face.

"Scene magazine named you Chicago's sexiest bachelor. Don't tell me you didn't know," she laughed, still rubbing her thigh against my cock. I needed to stop her, and quickly, before she realized that I was no where near getting a hard on.

Just then, I felt a large hand clamp down on my shoulder. "Don't mind, Edward, sweetheart. He's not up with the latest gossip."

I breathed a sigh of relief and I couldn't have loved him more than I did right then. "Good evening, Emmett," I said, finally having an excuse to release Kate so I could shake his hand. As I turned around to greet him, I noticed the scowl on Kate's face at my attention being drawn away from her.

"Your dad is looking for you," he jerked his head in the general direction of my father.

I wanted to hug him right then and there.

"I'm sorry, I have to go, Kate," I apologized, turning back around to give her a hug. As she pouted, I pulled her close, letting my hand fall to her hip as I whispered in her ear, "Save a dance for me for later?" Her pout disappeared immediately and with a lingering kiss on my cheek, she sauntered off, assuming I was staring at her ass as she left. "Have I told you lately that I love you, Emmett?" I asked, throwing my arm around his large shoulders as we headed towards my father.

"If only I was into dick, man, you'd be the only one for me," he teased, elbowing me in the ribs.

I laughed, removing my arm from him as we approached my father. He was standing with a group of board members, my mother standing obediently by his side and hanging on every word he spoke. Even after all of the years they had been together, she still looked at him like he could give her the moon and when he looked down at her with a smile, it was blatantly obvious that the feeling was mutual.

I wanted that.

"Ah, Edward, there you are!" my father boomed, reaching out to pull me into a hug. I wondered just how much my mother had given him to drink since they'd been there. "Dwight, Larson, Sebastian, you know my son, Edward."

I shook their hands with a smile, pretending to be interested in who they were and what they owned as my father spouted off their recent business deals. I vaguely heard Emmett say he was going to the bar as they continued to ramble on about who was getting promoted and how much the latest product was bringing in. Once their bragging faded, my father took one last sip of his drink and crooked his finger at me.

"Edward, can I speak to you in private for a moment, please?"

Sighing, I almost asked him where the hell he planned to find a "private" place at a party, but I refrained and just followed him as he led the way to a small, less crowded corner.

"What's up, dad?"

Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked at me with a stern expression. "I'm simply curious as to why your _date _is currently on the dance floor with another man?" he gestured to the dance floor where I saw Bella, dancing closely with the handsome man I had told her about earlier.

"Come on, dad, you can't expect her to ward off every man that acts interested because she's supposed to be here with me"

"That's exactly what I expect of you two. We have this arrangement for a reason. How is it going to look in the paper tomorrow when she came here with you but leaves with someone else?" he asked, arching a blond eyebrow.

To most, my father may have come across as an asshole. A selfish man who only cared for himself but he wasn't like that at all. He was just a true businessman. His reputation for his company and for his family came first above all else and he wasn't ashamed of that. In this situation, he was right. It wouldn't look very good for us when the media twisted their story into something more dramatic but I couldn't bring myself to care. Bella deserved happiness just as much as the rest of us and I didn't like standing in the way.

That's where my father and I differed. He cared too much and I didn't care enough.

"Our name will still be in the paper, won't it? And how can you sit here and tell me that Bella doesn't deserve a little bit of fun after all the bullshit she puts up with?" He shot me a glance at my foul language but I continued on, "I will not tell her that she has to devote every last second to the company simply to appease you and if you have a problem with that, then maybe I shouldn't attend these functions anymore."

His expression completely changed to one of panic, the thought of my absence quickly sobering him. "I'm sorry, alright? You know how much I need you here. And I wasn't implying that Bella should not have a life for the sake of the company. It's just...this is really important. Tonight could bring in a lot of good publicity for the company, Edward."

Nodding, I told him I understood. "I'll make sure that the camera's catch her leaving with me, okay?"

Pulling me into another quick hug, he released me but kept a firm grip on my shoulder. "I really don't mean to be such a prick. I'm just really stressed. I..." he hesitated, swallowing once before finishing. "I'm real proud of you, Edward. I couldn't have asked for a better son. "

I know I should have been happy at his statement, and a part of me was, but another part of me couldn't help but think that he wouldn't have been proud of me had he known that I didn't want to be there, that I didn't want to do it anymore. That owning his company wasn't my dream.

That I wasn't straight.

Smiling, I nodded and said I would catch up with him later, needing another drink or I wouldn't have been able to make it through the rest of the party.

"Shot of Courvoisier," I said as I rested my elbows on the bar and hung my head in frustration of having to spend my night pretending to enjoy the company of those around me. I would have much preferred the company of my piano, or a certain blond escort.

Not that I didn't enjoy Bella's company. She was beautiful, smart and witty, but being with her left me unsatisfied. Perhaps if she were taller, had a deeper voice…and a cock.

Then there was Kate.

With nails like talons, she had dug them into me, keeping me tightly to her. Her forwardness was not completely unexpected, she had a bit of a reputation, and certainly not one I wanted to experience. I definitely owed Emmett a drink… or a few, for saving my ass once again.

When the bartender put the glass in front of me, I downed it in one gulp, relishing in the burn as the amber liquid coated my throat.

Leaving the tip on the bar top, I headed for the restroom before someone else spotted me and called me over to introduce me to someone else I didn't care to know. I pushed the heavy wooden door open and entered the expansive men's room. There was a sitting room, complete with wide chairs and tables. There was no paying for condoms in that restroom, they were in a bowl on the table. Probably for the high class men that were sneaking a quickie with their mistresses while their wives pretended not to notice and gossiped with each other.

Connected to the sitting room was the main bathroom. Marble counters with bottles of cologne and lotions between the white porcelain sinks lined one wall while stalls were on the opposite side. I went to the sinks and turned on the cold water to splash on my face. Then I grabbed a towel and buried my face in it. When I lifted my head, I saw his reflection in the mirror.

He was standing in the doorway to the sitting room, looking sexy in his tuxedo, staring at me.

I couldn't help but smirk as I acknowledge his presence. He came up behind me, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Edward Cullen, right?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Very good," I said as I placed the towel down and turned to him, resting my palms on the counter behind me. "And you are?"

"We've been flirting at the past two charity benefits and you don't even know who I am?" he pretended to be offended.

"I know you are Stanley's son…"

"Spencer," he supplied for me.

"And I know your…"

_Gay, hot, sexy… _

"What?" he asked, taking a few steps closer. Remaining quiet, I watched him as he walked into a stall where he turned and held the door open in invitation. My heart raced with the possibilities. If I walked into that room, I was taking a huge risk.

It was about time I took a risk.

Without hesitation, I entered into the stall and closed the door behind me. As soon as I had slid the lock closed, his mouth was on mine, his tongue forcing its away between my slightly parted lips. He tasted of wine and salt as his velvety warm tongue twisted with my own. I couldn't help but want his tongue to explore other areas of my body. Taking a step forward, he pushed me against the door, his fingers undoing the buttons on my jacket before sliding under it. Skimming over my shirt, they slid up and down my abdomen, stopping at my nipples for a pinch and twist before ending up on the button of my pants. Deftly he slipped the black button through the hole then tugged the zipper down and cupped my stiffening cock. With a throaty moan, I tilted my head and deepened the kiss even more as my hips thrust into his. Breaking the kiss, he opened his eyes and held my gaze as he slowly lowered himself to his knees. My cock twitched as he kissed it through the thin fabric and then deliberately pulled my briefs down, freeing my throbbing erection.

"Mmmm," he hummed in approval as his tongue darted out and swirled around the head before he dipped the tip into my slit.

"Fuck," I exhaled, my hands finding his short brown hair, resting on his head as he took me into his hot mouth. Slick and warm and wet, his lips clasped tightly around me as he started to slide them up and down my cock. Resisting the urge to thrust into him, I let him set the pace. While his mouth worked magic, his hands yanked my pants and underwear down further, exposing my sac, which he quickly took into his hand, rolling my balls as he sucked me with wanton need. He flicked his tongue along the underside of my shaft, his moans reverberating through my entire body, setting it afire. His finger strayed from my balls and began to stroke the soft skin behind them, teasing my entrance. Unable to spread my legs more, I pushed my hips forward in hopes of giving him more access. One of his hands went to my ass, groping and squeezing as he quickened his pace. Anyone could walk in at any second and find the son of the CEO receiving an incredible blow job from the son of a board member.

Scene magazine can take that and put it on their fucking cover.

"So close," I grunted, my fingers trying in vain to fist his short hair. He ravaged me, devouring my cock repeatedly. When I felt the head of my cock hit the back of his throat, I came hard with a strangled cry, my hips bucking into his mouth as my cock jerked and shot cum into him. Swallowing around me, he milked me, encouraging the last vestiges of my orgasm from my stated cock. Resting my head against the wall, I watched as he released me and with one last kiss to the head, pulled my pants up, leaving them undone as he stood again. "Thank you, I needed that," I sighed.

I was no longer unsatisfied.

"And I need this," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed me again, his tongue entering my mouth, letting me taste myself on him. He moaned as his hands went into my hair, his fingers weaving through the strands before wrapping around my neck and pulled his body flush with mine. Thrusting his hard cock into my softening one, I gasped at the friction on my sensitive skin. My hands went to his hips, to hold him there as he pressed his pelvis into mine. His lips left mine and he kissed along my jaw to my ear. "Every time I see you, I get hard as a fucking rock. I'm going to go home and jerk off tonight, thinking of you…your taste, your cock, your cum in my mouth," he murmured.

It was one of the hottest things I had ever heard.

Suddenly, he removed his mouth from my heated skin and took a step back. "We should head back, I'm sure they are wondering where you are. They could probably care less about me, but you…you're Edward fucking Cullen." Quickly, he did up my pants, but left my jacket open and after one last kiss, he unlocked the door and was gone, leaving me standing there in shock at what I had just done.

"I'm what Edward?" he repeated, a curious note to this voice.

Shaking the all too clear vision from my head, I debated on turning back around or letting him see the raging hard on I now had in my pants. Deciding I couldn't risk it, I turned to the counter again and caught his reflection in the mirror.

"Getting your master's at Stanford," I finally finished.

Chuckling, he replied, "Yes, I am. One semester left. Then I'm all yours."

If he only knew he had already been mine.

Once I felt my erection waning, I turned back to him and held my hand out. "Well, nice to formally meet you, Spencer. Best of luck at school. If you need anything, be sure to let me know."

"Oh, I will," he smiled as I brushed by him. I swore his fingers reached for mine.

As I made my way back to the dance floor to find Bella, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I quickly grabbed it, grinning when I read the email.

_You have an appointment scheduled with Jasper from 8pm-9am on Saturday at the Renaissance hotel, suite 5. _

It couldn't have come at a better time.

Closing the email, I slid my phone back into my pocket and continued looking for Bella, ready to dance and mingle with whoever I needed to now that I had something to look forward to.

_Jasper._

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, did you say the..._full_ breakfast menu?" The desk clerk asked, clearly confused by my large order. I had called down to order breakfast for the next morning, not wanting any reason to have to leave the hotel room, or bedroom, for Jasper's entire stay.

"Yes, the full menu. I want it here at seven o'clock tomorrow morning. As well as coffee, orange juice, water and every choice of soda you offer." I had no idea what he liked so ordering everything seemed easier.

"Uh...yes, sir. Not a problem," she quickly recovered.

"Thank you," I said before disconnecting the call and heading towards the bar in my suite.

Pouring myself a glass of brandy, I finished it in one gulp, relishing the burn. I was nervous again but not for the same reasons I was the last time I had seen Jasper. My nerves were wound tight for reasons I couldn't identify. I needed release, that was for sure but there was something else, something more and I just couldn't put my finger on it. It felt a little like excitement but more intense and since excitement wasn't an emotion I felt very often, it was a little unnerving.

Fixing myself another glass, I began pacing the living room of my suite, waiting for the knock at the door I had been looking forward to for weeks. My usual jerk off sessions in the shower had certainly become more thrilling since being with Jasper but nothing compared to having the real thing. He was so attentive and so _good. _He had been the product of my fantasies ever since and when I had enough free time, I had frequented Tanya's website to look at his pictures again.

After what seemed liked ages, though he still wasn't late, he was knocking at my door. Setting my drink down on the bar, I ran my hand through my hair and straightened out my clothes, a dress shirt and slacks, before opening the door.

He was just as beautiful as I remembered, maybe even more if it was possible. Those pictures on the site didn't do him justice.

His arm was raised as if he was going to knock again and he smiled wide when he saw me. I had requested he be dressed casually, anxious to see him in something that was a little more...fitting.

I was not disappointed.

Black tight jeans covered his long legs and I almost asked him to turn around so I could look at his ass. His grey tee shirt fit tightly as well, stretching over his sculpted chest and loosening a bit toward his slim waist. He had a duffel bag hanging on his shoulder and I briefly wondered why he brought it, he hadn't had it the last time we had been together. Perhaps it was a change of clothes for the next day.

"Hi," I smiled, surprised to hear I was slightly breathless already.

Stepping in the door, he dropped the duffel bag to the floor and slid his arm around my waist, pulling me close enough that I could feel his breath on my face. I gasped quietly at the sudden contact, my heart pounding furiously and my cock hardening instantly. It took me a minute to respond, bringing my hands up to his neck to play with his soft curls. It was a rather intimate position for two people such as us but it just felt right.

"Hi," he whispered finally before pressing his lips to mine softly, not demanding or leading, just reacquainting. My memory had not done it justice; his taste, the feeling of his hard body against mine, his hands gripping my hips. It was so much more fulfilling than my fantasies.

Eventually, I needed more so I touched his bottom lip with my tongue, my erection pulsing when he groaned and opened his mouth to me, swirling his tongue with mine as his hands slid down to my ass. Pushing my hips into his, I was pleased to find that he was just as hard as I was, my liking for his jeans quickly fading away as I imagined the action without our clothes. No long fingering his curls, my hand slid into his hair, holding him tightly to me as his hands roamed my back and ass. Our kiss grew more heated, his fingers grasping desperately at the skin of my back after hurriedly un-tucking my shirt from my slacks.

"Off," he muttered against my lips, trying to lift my shirt higher. Ripping my shirt open, I vaguely registered the buttons scattering to the floor before he was pushing it off my shoulders, breaking the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt over his head before bringing his mouth back to mine.

Walking us backward, his fingers fumbled with the button my pants as my hands caressed and touched the newly exposed skin of his chest and stomach. He just felt so good under my hands, every line and ripple and defined muscle my hands traced left me wanting more. Finally undoing my pants, he pushed them over my hips and let them gather around my ankles, gasping in my mouth when his hands met no other resistance.

Growling, he pushed me to the black leather sofa that sat in the living room, his lips not leaving mine until I was sitting on the plush arm. Panting, he backed away from me and I smirked when his lust filled gaze darkened further as he looked me over. His eyes stayed glued to my cock even as he blindly started untying his boots and clumsily taking them off, his socks soon following.

My body was on overload, my cock and my heart throbbing constantly, the sensation increasing every time he licked his lips or moaned. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted more in that moment; his cock in my mouth, or inside me, or my lips and teeth and tongue exploring every inch of his flesh.

I wanted it all

Without removing his jeans, he fell to his knees before me. "Fuck, I need that-" he mumbled breathlessly just before my cock was engulfed in his hot mouth.

"Shit, Jasper!" I gasped at the sudden pleasure, one hand weaving into his hair as the other braced myself on the back of the couch. He was unrelenting, bobbing his head up and down so quickly, I was sure I would come within seconds. "Jasper... Oh, God...slow down, please...I don't want to come like this," I begged, clenching my eyes shut when he looked up at me through his lashes, the sight of him with my cock in his mouth too erotic for my over stimulated senses to handle. If I would have watched him, there would have been no way I could have held off my orgasm.

Rubbing his hands up and down my thighs, he pulled his mouth off my cock and moved down to my balls, licking and sucking gently. "What do you want, Edward?" he asked, lifting one of my legs so it was bent and spread wide, exposing my body to him completely as my foot rested flat against the arm of the sofa. "Do you want me to fuck you?" He licked the soft patch of skin behind my balls, letting his tongue slide lower and lower. "Or maybe...something else?"

I sucked in a sharp breath when I felt the wet ribbon of his tongue slid across my hole. "Oh fuck."

Of course, I had heard of it, I had seen it numerous times in porn and such, but I had never _felt_ it. Tightening my hand in his hair, my hips involuntarily began grinding against his face, his light caress turning into deliberate licks and strong jabs with his tongue. My head fell back and a deep moan rumbled out of my chest when he actually penetrated me, his tongue darting in and out quickly.

"Fuck me," I whimpered, his actions driving me to the brink all while my neglected cock twitched and leaked with every new spot he hit inside me.

"Gladly."

I almost whined when his touch disappeared but then I saw him walking to his duffel bag, his unbuttoned jeans riding so low on his hips I could see the top of his delectable ass. With my free hand, I lazily stroked my cock, my eyes falling shut as I thought about what he might have in the bag and what I hoped he was grabbing right that second.

"Fucking beautiful."

I opened my eyes to find Jasper watching me, a look of awe on his face as he stood before me completely naked, his chest heaving and his cock so hard it looked painful. Stepping forward, he took my mouth in a hard kiss while popping open the bottle of lube, a moment later his slippery fingers circling my entrance. He wasted no time, shoving one finger inside, quickly followed by a second and a third, his mouth moving to my neck and collarbones where he licked and bit at my overheated skin. It was all too much and I felt my peak approaching rapidly, my body so ready to release all of the pent up tension and relax into the pleasurable state only an intense orgasm could give.

"I'm ready, Jasper. Fuck me...please," I pleaded.

Removing his mouth from my chest, he ripped open the condom and rolled it down his cock before slathering himself with lube. Rubbing his cock against my hole for a moment, he slowly entered me, my tight ring of muscle giving way to the thick tip of the head.

"Ugh," I groaned as the deep, pleasurable burn spread through me.

"I know," he sighed, his eyes trained on the joining of our bodies.

He stopped pushing as soon as the head was fully encased in my body, waiting for me to adjust to his size. I noticed he was trembling, clamping his eyes shut as he rested his head on my shoulder, his heavy breaths washing over me. I welcomed the burn, the feeling of him stretching me and entering me so perfectly. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I dug my heels into his ass and pushed him forward swiftly, his cock sliding in quickly until I felt his hips hit my ass.

"Oh my-" he gasped before his head lifted off my shoulder, falling back as a rough growl poured from him. "Fuck!"

His trembling turned into full blown shaking as he gripped my hips so hard I was sure I would have bruises, he stayed completely still for several moments before his hands finally loosened, his eyes meeting mine again and the look they held was positively feral.

Fusing his mouth to my neck once more, he rocked his hips, sliding out most of the way before slamming into me again, my breath leaving me in a rush at the brutal movement. It all felt so damn good. Wrapping both of my arms around his neck, I held on to him tightly, keeping us so close together that my cock would need absolutely no stimulation from his hand as his hard stomach rubbed against it and his cock hit my prostate with every deep thrust.

"You feel so fucking good, Edward...so, so good," he grunted, his lips finally reaching mine again. Our tongues twisted as his hard thrusts continued, bringing me closer and closer to the sweet release I craved so terribly. There was no way I was going to last long, my muscles already tensing repeatedly as my rigid erection left a slick trail of precum on us.

"Don't stop...don't...ever...fucking...stop," I babbled, rolling my hips to meet his thrusts.

"Never," he vowed, sliding his hands up to my ribs and grasping hard. Regardless of his statement mere moments before, he grimaced and slowed his hips almost to a stop. "I'm close," he whispered apologetically.

"Oh, God, me too...I'm so close, Jasper. Make me come."

Moaning, he picked up the pace, pounding me harder and faster than before as I dug my nails into the skin on his shoulders. Only seconds later, I felt my cock swell and twitch, a harsh cry escaping me as I exploded onto our stomachs. His rough whisper of my name penetrated the haze he had put me in and, even in the midst of my orgasm, I opened my eyes and stared deep into his as he came.

Right before his eyes gave in and closed, I saw a flicker of something intense, unknown and familiar at the same time. As he pulsed in me, his cock filling the condom, I held him and watched.

He was so fucking beautiful.

Finally, his grip loosened on my ribs and his thrusts slowed to a stop. Panting heavily, I buried my face into his neck, kissing and licking his sweaty skin as I slipped my arms around his back. Our breathing slowed yet my mouth never left his flesh, his head tipping back as I licked around his Adam's apple and moved to the other side of throat. I wanted to touch every inch of him, taste of every inch of him, _feel_ every inch of him.

Chuckling, he ran his hands up my back to my neck. "How about a shower?"

"Mhmm," I hummed, nipping at his collarbone.

His cock had long since softened, slipping from my body but still pressed against my ass. I felt it twitch at my attentions. "If you keep that up we'll never make it there," he warned, his voice raw and husky. Sighing contentedly, I finally pulled my mouth away from his delicious body and smiled at him, feeling a bit smug when I saw the mixture of arousal and relaxation on his face. Leaning forward, he caught my lips in a gentle kiss, teasing my tongue with his for just a moment before pulling back and grabbing my hand, dragging me towards the bathroom. I stared at his ass the entire time. Once in the bathroom, he turned on the shower head, testing the water for a minute before pulling me under the spray, my back to his chest, running his fingers through my hair and I sighed as his nails scratched lightly on my scalp. As I leaned back into his body for support, I felt a purr vibrate through his chest.

"Does that feel good?" he asked as he poured some shampoo onto his hands and began to lather it. I could only manage to respond with a satisfied moan as my body felt more sated and relaxed than it had in years. Jake had met my sexual needs, but in our times together, he had never been able to satisfy me that way that Jasper seemed to be able to. In fact, until Jasper, I hadn't known there was another level of satisfaction, that there was more than sex.

I just couldn't figure out what _it_ was. But _it _scared me in a new way. It wasn't like walking into a merger meeting with twenty men hanging on my every word, a company's fate hanging entirely on my decision. That was an exciting feeling, a challenge that led to a pit in my stomach that I craved. With Jasper, it wasn't the kind of scared that led me to perform at a high level of expertise. With him, it was such unknown territory that I couldn't even name it. It was beyond excitement or anxiousness, it was a someting that made my body hum with a tension, an electricity, and at the same time, I felt eerily calm and relaxed. It was a conflict that both confused and assured me at the same time.

It was a feeling that I was quickly becoming addicted to, which was frightening as well. As his hands freely, and familiarly, washed my hair, I closed my eyes and saw brief images of us together, meeting for coffee, buying furniture, shopping for groceries…everyday things that I had no right even imagining doing with a man, much less Jasper. At the same time, I never wanted his hands to leave my body, nor mine his. My time with him was on such a limited basis, I yearned to be in constant contact with him. The more I touched, the longer I could hold onto the feeling once I had returned to Chicago. As his hands continued to run through my hair, I reached around and rested my hands on his hips, telling myself it was because I need to steady myself, but I knew otherwise.

I knew I need to feel his skin against mine, even in the smallest measure, I had to touch him.

"Rinse," he directed, tilting my head back under the steam of water, careful not to let any of the suds get into my eyes. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to…know everything about him and yet, when I went to speak, my tongue tied in knots and I felt nauseous. What if he didn't like me, what if I said the wrong thing, what if I offended him?

I could easily control meetings with board members, I could hold press conferences with hundreds of reporters with confidence, and I could wine and dine with some of the richest people in the country.

Yet, I couldn't think of anything to say to Jasper. I felt more than just physically naked with him. It was a raw feeling that stripped me to the soul as well. When he was done with my hair, he stood in front of me and poured bodywash into his palms and began with my shoulders, slowly lathering and spreading the soap over my chest, abdomen.

"Mind if I ask you a question?" he said so quietly I almost didn't hear him over the running water. I didn't care what he asked as long as his hands kept touching me. Shaking my head, I groaned when his fingers lightly brushed my growing erection. He pushed me under the steady water flow to rinse my body off. "What do you do?"

"Do?"

"For work," he clarified.

"I'm the head of mergers and acquisitions of Cullen Pharmaceuticals," I sighed as he made sure I had been thoroughly rinsed by dragging his tongue along my shoulder blades, sending involuntary shivers throughout my body. "It's when one company takes ownership of..." I began to babble, my mind at a loss on making conversation.

"Another, breaks it up into smaller pieces and sells those pieces off. Sometimes companies voluntarily have this done to save the company, other times, it's hostile," he finished for me. My eyes shot open at his words and I found him staring at me with a smug smile.

"Yeah," I said, shocked. There were people in my business that couldn't have explained it better.

Still smiling, he took my chin in his hands, turning it. With the new access, he ran his tongue up the corded muscles there until he reached my ear, where he traced the shell, his breath tickling deep inside me.

"You're not the only one that knows how to use a computer," he admitted quietly. I was both thrilled and embarrassed at the same time. He had Googled me, probably found the company website, seen the pictures and press releases. While my heart raced at the fact that he had looked me up, I blushed at the reference to me using the website to have discovered him. If he only knew I had viewed his images many times since, and what I had done while viewing them.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that he could have done the same with mine, and I wanted to know, to level the playing field again. As his lips went over my jaw, I brought my hands up his arms and rested them on his forearms. Internally I was begging him not to stop.

"Can I ask you one?" I choked out.

"Sure," he mumbled against my slick skin, his lips then at my other ear. Swaying a bit, I felt his hand move to my lower back to steady me.

"Did you, um…did you….seepicturesofme?" My voice hadn't sounded so shaky since I had been a teenager. Stopping, he pulled back and raised an eyebrow. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. "See pictures of me."

Nodding, he returned his lips to my ear, his nose nuzzling my freshly cleaned hair. In my chest, my heart pounded.

I had to ask. "Did you…um, enjoy them?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I wasn't even sure what I meant. I heard him chuckle in my ear before he back away, slowly sliding his hand from my back around to my hip. Tantalizingly, he drew circles on my skin with his thumb, the small area he was touching burned with anticipation and need. His other hand left my neck and he skimmed his fingers long my chest, over my stomach, my muscles quivering in their wake, until they captured my hard cock. Openly, he watched my face for my reaction as his fingers tightened and began to stroke. He still hadn't answered my question but at that moment, I could have cared less. If that was his diversionary tactic, I was all for it.

Unexpectedly, he spoke, "I enjoyed looking at them, yes. Was I able to enjoy them to the fullest extent? Unfortunately, no. But it worked out in the end because now I'm even more eager enjoy the real thing." He stroked a bit faster, his other hand wrapping around my neck to pull me in for a kiss. "You're beautiful clothed, Edward, but here, naked and wet?" He shook his head, his tawny curls dripping water in every direction. "Fucking…breathtaking," he gasped just as his lips touched mine, brushing over them tenderly before I put my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss, his words, along wit his touch, stealing my breath. While my nails dug into his slippery skin, my hips wantonly bucked into his hand's embrace. Our lips met over and over until I finally released my grip and let my hands travel over his shoulders, down his sides to his hips.

His touch seemed to be everywhere at once and I wondered if he had sensed that I needed to have constant contact with him, that I never wanted to my hands to be anywhere other than his body. Breaking the kiss, I reached for his wrist and stopped his motion. Surprised, he looked at me with wide eyes, and I saw a brief faint hurt in them.

"Doesn't it feel good?" he asked, his typical confidence a bit shaken.

Immediately, I wanted to put his mind at ease. "More than I can say…so I want to show you…" I trailed off, leaving him still a bit confused as I kissed along his collarbone, down his chest, gradually lowering myself to my knees. I wanted to lavish him, show him a small glimpse of the euphoria he had brought me over and over again. Nervously, my tongue traced the taunt muscles of his stomach, enjoying the way they trembled under my tongue. I felt his hands in my hair, fisting the strands in hope of my final destination. While I was confident in so many areas of my life, even sex, with him I felt that my limited experience was going to pale in comparison to others in his field. I had no idea how many had performed the very same act on him, and had no way of knowing if his body's reactions were because it was me or because he was simply putting on an act.

Something deep inside told me it was the former. He felt it too, that unknown, and scary, spark that ignited when we were together. I had to believe that didn't happen with all his clients, I had to…hope that it didn't.

On my knees, I took the time to kiss over his skin, heated from the hot water. His right hipbone, across his short curls, to his left side where I discovered something I hadn't seen before.

A scar, about four inches long, in a jagged line above his hip bone, almost in the depth of his 'v' there. I looked up at him, the water running down my face, my hands splayed on each of his hips, and found him watching me. With eyes slightly hooded, he stared at me. Placing my lips to his scar, I kissed it, holding my mouth to it longer than any other spot so far. The corner of his lip curled up into a small smile, just hinting at the dimples I knew where there. Holding him steady, I took a deep breath, and wrapped my lips around his cock, immediately taking in as much of him as I comfortably could. It had been a long time since I had had a cock in my mouth, and I hoped it was like riding a bike.

My mouth had barely embraced him and he murmured, "Fuck," his head falling back as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. I could feel the tension in his body as he strained to stop himself from thrusting into my mouth, even his hands struggled to lighten their hold in my hair. Encouraged by his reaction, I began to bob my head, sucking in earnest. One hand curved around the plump flesh of his ass, the other to his sac. Taking his balls in my hand, I rolled them, as I dragged my tongue along the underside of his shaft. I felt his entire body shudder as I continued to devour him. Moaning at his reaction, I moved my hand to his cock and began to stroke as I slid my mouth along him. Giving up his control, his hips began to pump, a guttural groan escaping him as he sought out the depths of my throat. Suddenly, I wasn't worried about comparisons; I was only concerned with his pleasure. While low cries mixed with obscenities poured from his lips, I took him deeper, relaxing enough to let the tip of the head strike the back of my throat a few times as I fought off the urge to gag. He must have felt the reflex because he stilled his hips. Determined, I removed my hand from this cock, putting it on his ass with my other, and hallowing my cheeks, sucked him as deep as I could.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he practically roared and I felt his cock jerk and pulse in my mouth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…so fucking good," he repeated his mantra as his cum flowed thick and hot and salty down my throat. Swallowing as best as I could around him, I felt some his cum leak from the sides of my mouth as he held my head still while the last of his climax traveled through his body, his muscles convulsing with each wave that crashed over him. He hissed and looked down at me as I released. His body protecting me from the water stream, he let go of my hair and ran the pad of his thumb over my lips, gathering his cum that had collected there. Sticking out my tongue, he placed his thumb on it and I sucked him clean.

"Edward…." he sighed and putting his hands under my arms, pulled me up to him. As soon as I was standing, his lips were on mine, his tongue parting them as he explored my mouth and tasted himself on me. It was one of the hottest things I had ever experienced and I had a feeling that with him, it would not be the last. I didn't care if he had done the same thing with a hundred other men, it was intimate and vulnerable and open.

Breaking the kiss, I rested my forehead against his. Wanting to say something, but not sure what, I whispered the one only thing I could think of.

"Jasper."

It had become one of the most beautiful words to me even though it occurred to me that it might not even be his real name.

"Ready to dry off?" he asked, reaching around behind to turn the water off before waiting for my answer. Normally, I hesitated when others took control, being in control was part of who I was, it was ingrained in my DNA, but with sex, I gave up that need to control every second, every little thing, and went along for the ride.

And with Jasper, it was a wonderful ride.

Taking my hand, he opened the door and stepped out of the shower. He reached for a towel and began drying me off. Touched by his tender, caring caresses, I stood motionless as he dried off every inch of my body, often leaving kisses behind the swipes of the towel. It didn't go unnoticed that while his hands were on me as he dried me off, my were on him as well. In his hair playing with the damp curls, on his shoulders gripping them for balance, on his arms to feel the muscles flex under my touch. Crouching down, he rubbed my legs dry before he kissed the head of my aching cock. Standing, he quickly dried himself off, not showing his body nearly the attention he had shown mine. Amazed, I watched his body move, his simple movements rendering me stunned. Even as he moved and twisted, lifting up his legs, bending over, my hands were on him, never leaving his soft skin. When he was dry enough, he dropped the towel and grabbed my hand.

"Come with me," he commanded, tugging me from the bathroom. His voice was urgent, rushed, and I wanted nothing more than to go with him. He could have led me stark naked down the streets of Seattle and I probably would have followed. However, he only led me to the bed, laying me on it before he climbed over me with a devilish grin.

His weight felt delicious on top of me, his tongue in my mouth, his hands roaming my chest and stomach. Opening my eyes, I found his closed, his pouty lips parted and his slightly damp blond curls partially covering his face. Without really meaning to, I reached up and brushed his hair back, moaning softly when his lust-filled blue eyes met mine.

"Feels so good," he whispered hoarsely.

Nodding, I brought my thumb up to trace his plump, kiss-swollen bottom lip, watching hungrily as he kissed it and groaning deeply when he sucked it into his hot mouth. As much as I loved his hips rolling against my own, I needed more; I wanted to feel him inside me again.

"Jasper...please," I rasped, sliding my hands down his back to grip his ass and push him down harder against me.

Chuckling, he licked my jaw. "I'm good, Edward, but even I need a few minutes of recovery time."

Embarrassed at my never ending need for him, I lowered my eyes.

"But…" he paused. "I've got something that you might enjoy," he finished quietly, almost apologetically. There was no need to apologize, I certainly couldn't expect him to be to go again mere minutes after even if I was ready to burst. Curious, I looked up at him again. Trust was an issue for me, I had witnessed many backstabbing shady business deals.

But I trusted my body to the beautiful boy laying on me.

With a soft growl, his hips jerked hard one last time. "Turn over," he commanded softly, sitting back on his knees to give me room to move.

Rolling over onto my stomach, I pulled my knees up underneath me and rested my head on my arms, feeling vulnerable and exposed and incredibly turned on. I felt the bed shift and I frowned, wondering where he could possibly be going. Luckily, I wasn't left alone long, the bed shifting again before I felt his hands on my kneading the muscles of my ass.

"So fucking sexy," he exclaimed right before his teeth sinking into my flesh.

Crying out, I thrust back, loving the sharp pain that slowly turned into pleasure as it spread through my body. His hand reached between my legs, lightly circling the head of my cock, a teasingly light touch as he kissed and licked the mark his teeth left behind. Moving his mouth to my hole, my breath hitched as I anticipated his next move, remembering how strong the sensations were when he had done it earlier that evening. Even though I expected it, the first swipe of his tongue still made my body tense. The pleasure was so intense that I locked up and panted, trying desperately to control my actions so I didn't lose it before he had even started. Fully gripping my erection, he ran his tongue down the length of my crack, circling my entrance gently as he stroked me slowly. I whimpered, shamelessly pushing my ass back into him. It was so different from anything I had experienced. I had never really had a chance to discover how sensitive I was there and the way his tongue licked and caressed my most intimate places, there was nothing I could do but thrash and moan and beg.

I begged him to keep going, to give me more, to go faster...to do something because I felt I was sitting _right there_ and one tiny push would send me spiraling into the depths of pleasure. But he never gave me enough pressure with his tongue or gripped my cock hard enough, it was by far the best torture I had ever endured.

Finally, _finally, _he started stroking my cock in earnest, his tongue actually penetrating me and touching all the right places. His other hand was constantly in motion, roaming my back and down over my ass. I could feel it building again, a slow burn starting in the pit of my stomach and spreading downward. I squirmed and writhed, practically undulating, arching my back and digging my fisting the bedspread so hard my knuckles were turning white.

"Jasper, fuck...I need more, please, please," I whimpered when he replaced his tongue with a finger, my hole slick with saliva and my cock throbbing with need.

"I've got you," he promised lowly, his finger thrusting in deeper until it grazed my prostate. I was barely able to release a moan before his finger and the hand on my cock disappeared and I heard him moving, the familiar click of a lube bottle and braced myself for him, wanting and waiting for his cock to enter.

I gasped when I felt something...unknown. Not his cock or his fingers, or even his tongue, it was something entirely different. Whipping my head around, I looked over my shoulder to find Jasper smirking at me, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he continued to push...something into me. It was smooth and round, much smaller than his finger and it felt like...rubber or silicone, I couldn't be sure. When the second, slightly larger ball slipped through my hole, I finally realized what he was using on me.

Anal beads.

Once I stopped worrying about what he was doing, I was able to focus on the feeling. I had never used them on myself nor had I been with anyone long enough to experiment so it was an entirely new sensation.

A good sensation.

He continued slowly pushing the beads inside me, each ball larger than the one previous, stretching me and making me gasp and shudder.

"More?" he asked, his voice deeper and more primal than I had ever heard it.

"Yeah...please," I panted, clenching my eyes shut and trembling.

I hissed when one of the beads grazed my prostate and Jasper's hand immediately stilled, leaving the ball against the sensitive area inside me. I felt a wet kiss on each of my cheeks, his hand coming back to wrap around my cock, much tighter, and he started pumping. I felt the bed dip when he moved and then, before I could bring myself to ask what he was doing, I felt the same kind of kiss I had just felt on my ass cheeks except this time, it was on the head of my cock.

Opening my eyes I looked down to see Jasper's head between my legs, his eyes meeting mine long enough for him to wink at me and give me a sexy smile before his lips were wrapped around my cock.

"Oh, my...fuck," I growled, instantly thrusting into his mouth. It felt so damn good; his hot mouth sucking me, the toy resting against my prostate, his hands squeezing my ass. Hollowing his cheeks, he sucked me hard, relaxing his throat as my thrusts became increasingly harder. I couldn't control myself, fucking his mouth, eliciting the loudest noises, clawing at the blanket when he scraped his teeth along my length deliciously. I vaguely registered his hands leaving my ass, figuring he was going to tend to his own need.

When I heard the click, I knew I was wrong.

"Motherfu-...fucking hell, Jasper!" I practically screamed when I feel the beads start to vibrate. His sucking never slowed and the vibrations progressively got stronger, still sitting right against my prostate and I knew there was no holding back my orgasm. "I'm going to come," I cried in warning and pleasure. Thrusting hard into his mouth three more times, I came, harder than I ever had before, my entire body locking up and my stomach clenching and twisting. Right as my orgasm hit me, Jasper began slowly pulling the beads, each one slipping out as a new wave of pleasure coursed through me. It felt like it was never going to end, spurt after spurt of my cum shot down his throat until the beads had left me completely. As soon as he moved from between my legs, I collapsed, my knees buckling and I hit the bed gasping as I tried to catch my breath. I felt his body hovering over mine, his legs on either side of mine and his pulsing cock nestled against my ass.

Licking from my shoulder to my ear, his panting breaths hit my ear as he whispered, "Can I fuck you again, Edward?"

"Oh, fuck yes," I pleaded. Even though I knew my body could never orgasm again so quickly, I simply wanted him inside me and for the first time in my life, it wasn't because I wanted the pleasure. I wanted him to feel pleasure, to _take_ pleasure in my body and my willingness to give myself to him. I wanted to hear him moan and whimper and come. His weight disappeared for only a moment, or maybe it was longer and I was still too high to notice, before I felt his sheathed cock pushing at my entrance. He slid into me smoothly, one swift motion before he was buried and groaning in my ear.

"I love fucking you," he said, thrusting in and out slowly, deliberately. I hummed in response, barely mustering up the strength to push my hips into him. He was all I could feel; his heavy, stuttering breath in my ear, his scent filling my lungs, his cock shoving harder and harder into me.

I never wanted it to end.

"Feels so good...love feeling you wrapped around me...so fucking beautiful," he steadily whispered in my ear, half phrases and unfinished sentences, both dirty and perfect. "I'm so close," he breathed.

"Harder, Jasper. I want to feel you come inside me."

Growling, his hips sped and his teeth latched on to the skin of my shoulder, muffling the long, deep moan that poured from him when he came. He twitched and throbbed inside me, his thrusts slowing to a stop once he released my flesh from his mouth.

"God damn, Edward."

Kissing his mark on my shoulder, he rolled off of me and whispered that he'd be right back. Closing my eyes, I relished in the extreme relaxation that left my mind fuzzy and my body deliciously numb. I couldn't have moved even if I had wanted to. Moments later, I felt a warm washcloth cleaning away the lube and sweat from my backside. Gently and thoroughly, he cleaned me off. Once he was finished, he climbed back into bed and wrapped his arm around my waist, rolling me over to face him and I immediately buried my face into his neck, enjoying the contented sigh I heard him release.

I felt his lips press against my head as he mumbled, "Sleep, beautiful."

"Beautiful," I repeated in a whisper against his neck, inhaling his musky scent.

_Beautiful._

I did was I was told.

I fell asleep in his arms.

Exactly where I wanted to be.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

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	9. Pianos, Whores, and CropsOh My

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed this story, we never thought we'd see 500+ reviews. We are amazed and humbled by the response it has received; we've got a lot planned, so enjoy Mergerward and Escortsper…and Peter and Riley…

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

Our beta is overworked, underpaid and not available, so this chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are Touchstone67's.

"**~~**"

Jpov~

When I didn't feel his warmth next to me, I rolled over and reached out. My heart sinking when I found the space empty, the sheets cooled and rumpled. Like a heartsick puppy, I leaned over and buried my nose his pillow, hoping to find his scent still clinging on the cotton.

I had woken up a few times during the night, each time staying awake for a few minutes just watching him sleep. It was oddly peaceful to be in his presence. His flesh was hot to the touch when I traced the lines of the muscles in his back with the tips of my fingers, smiling when they quivered under my light touch. When I did some as simple as look at his face, my heart raced and I had no fucking idea why.

Though it was a beautiful face.

The longest fucking eyelashes I'd ever seen lay fanned out against his pale skin, his cheeks still slightly flushed from his orgasms. Unable to resist the temptation, I touched his hair, letting the silky strands run through my fingers like a sieve, letting them fall through before immediately diving back into the thick locks for more. I had touched it many times during sex but it was to fist it, to guide his head as he sucked me, to pull it as I fucked him. In the quiet and dark room, I took my time with it, enjoying the sensation as it slipped through my fingers over and over. When he stirred, I pulled my hand away quickly, my heart racing a bit at the thought of being caught admiring him so…tenderly.

I was a hooker for fuck sake, and I was touching him as a lover would. Not like someone he had paid to bring him pleasure. There was no denying I enjoyed our time together, more than I should, but I knew it was never going to be anything -no servants or fancy dinners for me- no matter what I did I was never going to be anything more than a good fuck.

And that was okay. We all had our roles to fill and jobs to do and that was mine.

I met people, I loosened my tie and let them fuck me.

But something told me it was different with him…for him. The way he constantly touched me, his hands rarely leaving my body no matter how intimately we were already joined. The darkness that sat in his eyes, a look I knew as need on others was something more with Edward.

Edward.

I whispered his name, giddy like a fucking schoolgirl at how it sounded rolling off my lips, even pursing my lips, exaggerating the syllables. It was a name that sounded good in a whisper, a moan, a grunt.

Feeling my cock twitch, I sighed. Would it be rude to wake him up and fuck his brains out? After the beads and pounding I had given him earlier, I wondered if he'd be able to walk without soreness the next day. Even I had a limit to getting fucked and I was a professional. Moving closer, I ran the flat of my hand down his back, over the curve of his ass under the sheet that hid my view. Frustrated, I pulled the sheet down, exposing him to me. My cock hardened at the site, wanting nothing more than to be buried deep inside his tight hole. Biting my lip, I leaned over and kissed his shoulder.

If he woke up, I would continue, if he didn't, I would stop and let him sleep.

When his green eyes fluttered open, my entire body shuddered with excitement. Without a word, I reached behind me and grabbed the lube and a condom from the table. He lay still, intently watching me with a slight, tired smile. My eyes never left his as I slid the condom on myself and slathered lube over it. Taking my slick fingers, I reached between his legs and moaned when he willingly spread them for me and his lips mouthed the word 'fuck' as my fingers slipped inside his hole.

"Fucking beautiful," I murmured as I shifted closer, tangling a leg between his as I continued to pump my fingers to ready him for me.

His neck strained as lifted his head to meet my lips in a kiss. Tender at first, his moved his lips along mine softly before his tongue insistently entered my mouth. It was simple kiss, but it affected me in ways that some actual fucking did not- a pounding heart, racing pulse, a feeling in my stomach that felt like I was going to be sick and excited at the same time. As we made out, I finger fucked him, his hips lifting and pressing back against my hand, silently begging for more. Breaking the kiss, he said the two words I wanted to hear.

"Now, Jasper."

Removing my fingers, I lifted myself on top of him, pressing his body into the mattress as I guided my cock between his legs, slowly entering him, feeling his muscles tighten and release around me as I sank myself deeper and deeper into him.

"You okay?" I asked and he nodded. Overwhelmed at the sensation of being joined with him again, I stilled, resting my forehead on his shoulder while I gathered my composure before lifting and continuing to fuck him.

Completely sheathed in his velvet embrace, I began to thrust; my body flushed with his as I grabbed his hands and held them in mine above his head. Kissing his shoulders and neck and ear, I felt my stomach burning with desire, the muscles flexing with each roll of my hips, the ache satisfying and complete. Under me, his hips tried in vain to rise to meet mine as grunts escaped him.

"Fuck, Edward," I moaned his ear as I nuzzled my nose in his hair to inhale his sweaty and earthy scent, my breaths low and shallow as I continued to slowly thrust into him. His tight ass wrapped around my cock, squeezing it. "So fucking good…so fucking good." I dropped my forehead to his shoulder, my fingers entwined with his, gripping him hard my knuckles were turning white and I was probably hurting him but I didn't care, for some reason I needed it.

_I needed him. _

Just as that thought hit me, my orgasm ripped through me, my cock shooting into the condom as my hips bucked and my muscles shook violently from the intensity. Panting, I lay on him while waiting for my body to ride out the orgasm, my cock still jerking inside him each time his body moved beneath me seeking his own release. Spent, I kissed his ear and rolled off him to my side, keeping my leg between his. Pulling the condom off, I put it on the table and then rolled onto my back.

"Come 'ere," I growled as I reached for his body. Getting up on his knees, he moved to straddle my hips, and I hissed when his ass rubbed against my softening cock. Looking down at me, he was simply…beautiful.

His cheeks were once again deeply flushed, his hair even more messed, his lips full and swollen from our kisses.

"Touch yourself," I demanded. With his plump bottom lip between his teeth, he reached down and wrapped his fingers around himself. It took effort to pull my eyes from his face to his hand on his cock. Tightly, he gripped it, his left hand rubbing his chest and stomach while his right began to stroke himself, hesitantly at first but quickening when I moaned in delight. His cock was pink and full, the tip glistening with the precum that had seeped from the slit. Leaving one hand on his hip, I swiped my thumb over the head of his cock and brought it up toward his mouth. Sticking his tongue out, he took my thumb into his mouth and sucked briefly before releasing it.

"Fuck," I groaned at the sight. The motion of his hand brought my eyes back to his cock. As he stroked faster, his head lolled back and his hips began to grind into mine, his ass circling and soft and welcoming as I held him there and pushed up as much as I could without leverage. I gripped his thighs as he furiously pumped himself. "That's it," I encouraged. "Come for me."

His head shot up at my words and he whispered, "For you, Jasper." His eyes catching mine and not leaving them as his body gave way to the orgasm and his cock exploded onto me, his cum erupting from him in long streams across my chest as he grunted. Stated, he fell off me onto his back, his chest heaving as his body trembled and came down from his climax. After a quick wipe of the sheet across my chest, I rolled to my side, laid my head on his chest and fell back asleep to the calming, steady sound of his heart in his chest.

The sun steamed through the window as I began to already miss his body in the bed. I looked at the clock and groaned. I had less than two hours before I had my time was up.

Before _our_ time was up.

It was gradual, a soft melody at first, increasing to a louder, more consistent sound.

It was music, a piano, light and airy and free. From being with Peter, I knew the rooms were equipped with a sound system. Edward must have been a classical music fan. When I didn't hear the shower, I grew curious and climbed out of bed, the music getting louder when I exited the bedroom and entered the main room.

My breath was sucked from my lungs as I stood there, completely fucking motionless, naked with my cock tired and limp between my legs.

Edward was beautiful. Edward sitting naked playing the piano was fucking breathtaking. Behind him, the double doors to the balcony were open, the sun sending warm beams over him as the wind gently blew the sheer curtains. I wasn't sure how I hadn't noticed the piano the night before, it was huge and black and shiny. We had had sex less than a dozen feet from the fucking thing and I had never noticed it. I was a bit pissed at myself, my habit of being observant apparently had been all but destroyed in his presence.

I wondered if all rooms had them as I hadn't recalled one in Peter's suite.

I didn't know shit about music. Notes, keys, lyrics, tempo meant nothing to me. But I knew whatever the fuck he was playing was amazing. It seemed complicated, but simplistic at the same time. The movements of his body were deliberate and smooth, his fingers glided over the keys, his hands quickly going back and forth. The long lines in his back curved as he swayed with the music. There was no music in front of him, he played from memory, or perhaps it was an original piece.

He was hyper aware of my presence, but he never faltered, he continued to play flawlessly even as I noticed his breath quickening. Walking up behind him, I pressed my body against his, wrapped my arms around his neck and listened. Smiling, he continued to play. With great effort, I tore my eyes from his mesmerizing hands and saw his cock twitch and begin to harden at my closeness.

"It's beautiful," I complimented, not sure if I meant the music, his cock or both.

"Are you hungry?" he suddenly asked.

"Mmmm… for you?" I did what was quickly becoming one of my favorite things and ran my hands through his hair, making it stand in end in every direction even more. His eyes closed under my massage but he continued to play. Tugging on his hair, I pulled his head back and leaned down to kiss him, my nose against his chin as I greeted him good morning. When we parted, he gave me a brilliant crooked grin.

Chuckling, he nodded his head toward our right. "For breakfast."

Turning my head, I saw four hotel carts, each one covered with serving dishes, cups of fruit, boxes of cereal, pastries, sodas and glasses of juices. Again, I berated myself for having noticed nothing else but him. He had ordered enough food for a dozen people. Guilt washed through me. The food sitting there was enough to feed many people on the streets. They would be thankful for scraps of day old bread and sitting before me was more food than two people could ever eat.

Suddenly, the differences between Edward and me, the ones that I had chosen to ignore and pretend didn't exist while we were together hit me like a fucking train. His life was one of excess, every one of his wishes and desires was met and filled without effort while so many of us felt short and were left behind, the have-nots forgotten by those that had everything.

"Wow…"

Never halting his playing, he explained with a blush, "I thought you might be hungry, and I didn't know what you liked so I ordered one of everything."

Kissing his ear, I whispered, "Thank you."

The guilt decreased a bit as I treasured his thoughtfulness and his embarrassment at not knowing what to order. Unwrapping my arms from him, I held my hand over his shoulder.

"Eat with me?" I asked.

The notes abruptly stopped when his hands stilled over the keys. Standing, he took my hand and let me lead him over to the carts. One by one I lifted the covers to reveal the food under them, eggs, bacon, waffles, pancakes, some other egg looking things and cut up fruit.

"Holy shit," I mumbled in awe. My stomach growled at the buffet and Edward chuckled. "Sorry, guess I am hungry." With his hand still in mine, I chose the plate with eggs and bacon and put it on the table next to the carts, then I grabbed a glass of apple juice and fruit cup. He reached for the waffles covered in sauce and whipped cream, sausage and toast. When I went to sit at the table, he tugged my hand.

"This way," he directed, and balancing my plate and glass, I followed him through the double doors and onto a balcony that overlooked the city skyline. With a thick marble wall surrounding the edge, it was large enough to hold a table and two chairs, along with a lounge chair. The table was set, complete with linen cloth and flowers in a vase.

He had thought of everything.

Finally releasing my hand, he pulled out a chair for me and then moved around the table to sit down across from me. As soon as I was seated, his hand was reaching across the table for mine. Just as needy, I returned his grasp, my thumb stroking the soft skin of his hand.

"Beautiful view," I motioned to the city skyline as I took a bite of my eggs.

"Yes it is," he sighed, his eyes never looking out over the railing, his eyes never leaving me. I tilted my head and grinned at him.

"Are you going to eat?" I asked nodding to his untouched food. "You must be as hungry as I am." While his left hand rested in mine, he began eating with his right, his perfect mouth opening for each forkful, his tongue darting out to catch a drop of syrup before it dribbled down his chin.

Suddenly, food didn't seem so important anymore.

Suddenly, the desire to bend him over the railing and bury myself deep inside his ass overwhelmed any need for food.

But I kept eating, my mind attempting to ignore the images while my cock thoroughly enjoyed them, hardening more with each one.

"You're not from Seattle are you?" he asked just before taking a sip of juice and I raised an eyebrow at him. "The accent," he paused, "It's adorable," he finished quietly, blushing as he looked down and studied his food.

"No," I replied immediately before hesitantly continuing. "I'm from Texas."

"How long have you been in Seattle?"

I felt uneasy with the questions, and I was unsure why. I had told Peter far more than Edward was asking but for some reason exposing myself to Edward scared me. What if I said the wrong thing, what if he asked a question I couldn't answer, or worse, didn't want to.

"About two years."

"Do you miss Texas?"

_Yes._

_No._

"Sometimes."

"I've been there a few times for business. Dallas and Austin. It's quite different from Chicago. Have you ever been to Chicago?"

I shook my head and smiled. I think it was the most he had spoken at one time since we had met.

"You should sometime. It's a beautiful city. Lots of culture, and of course, the lake. It's huge. I mean, it's not the ocean, but you'd never know it. It's got waves and a sandy shore. We used to go there all the time when I was little. My dad had a boat that we would go out on. He fished but I didn't like it much. Never was a fan of seafood, caviar, escargot, lobster, never cared for any of it…I do like a well cooked filet mignon though," he stopped, dipping his chin to his chest, his cheeks coloring a brilliant pink. "I'm babbling, sorry."

"Don't be. I enjoy it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I smiled and squeezed his hand. He looked down and took a few bites of food. I decided it was my turn. "I never went fishing as a kid, but I used to go to this river by the Ho-by my house and this other kid and I would catch frogs and turtles. Sometimes we'd pretend they were our pets."

_And after releasing the frogs and turtles, Ian would push me over the rocks, yank down my pants and shove his cock inside my ass until he came. When he was finished, my cock would be raw from rubbing against the granite below me._

"Did you have any pets?" he asked.

"I think I had a cat when I was very young but other than that, no. You?"

He shrugged. "We had a few dogs and horses, my father thought it was important to learn to responsible for another living thing. Did you ride in Texas?"

Everyone always thought being a cowboy was in my DNA or something.

"No, I never had the chance."

"Tell me more about your childhood," he requested, eyes curious.

"Another time maybe" I said quickly. I didn't know how to respond, I had never been asked about my childhood, no one had ever cared enough to ask before. It's not like the johns on the street were much for pillowtalk. Edward accepted my answer with a small smile. "Do you have siblings?" I asked, as I finished off my eggs and picked up a strip of bacon.

"A younger sister, Alice. She's quite interesting in her own unique way. We get along pretty well. She can be a little self involved but she's got a good heart. How about you?"

Shaking my head, I pushed my empty plate away. "No. My mom got pregnant when I was about nine, but the baby died."

"I'm sorry," he said and squeezed my hand, reminding me were still holding them. "Is your family still in Texas?"

_I don't know. _

"My parents died when I was ten."

"That must have been a hard time for you."

_He had no fucking idea. _

"How long are you in Seattle for?" I asked, changing the subject.

He took the bait. "Through Monday, then I fly home."

"Are you coming back?" I asked, realizing I sounded pretty fucking eager.

"Yes. I'm working on finalizing a merger between our company and one here in Seattle. I fly in for a week about every three weeks. As we near the end, I will be here more."

My heart leaped at the words.

I noticed he had begun to relax, his hand in my mine had opened and his fingers constantly moved to trace the lines in my palm, tickling and teasing. With a long sigh, he stood and went to the railing, placing his palms flat on the marble top. As he stepped away from me, I felt a pull, a tug deep inside me urging me to keep him close, to be near him, to touch and feel him. The longer he stood apart from me, the stronger and more insistent the ache became, even taking my breath. My eyes roamed over his body, from head to feet, spending long seconds on his ass before moving back to his shoulders.

The pull, like one magnet calling to the other, strengthened and without realizing it, I stood up and was behind him, my hands covering his, my fingers weaved with his as I kissed his shoulder and rubbed my cock against his ass.

"You know what I really want to do right now, Edward?"

"Mmm what?" he asked, leaning his head back against me, giving me access to his neck. Licking the taunt lines there, I worked my way up to his ear.

"Bend you over this railing and fuck you hard and fast."

"Fuck me…"

"Yes…hard and fast," I repeated. "No gentle shit like that night. I want to take you, make you mine, fuck you so hard you can't walk without pain." I whispered urgently into his ear and felt his body shiver as he pushing his ass back against me.

"Please," he began to beg, his back ached pressing his cock into the wall, his body desperately seeking the friction that he craved.

"Next time," I moaned, my eyes closing as I restrained myself from putting one hand on his back and pushing him forward enough to enter him.

"You need to leave," he realized quietly into the air as if he had read my thoughts. Kissing his shoulder, I nodded.

"When are you back in Seattle?" I asked, hopefully…and assumingly.

"Two weeks," he replied, turning his head, he looked at me. "Can I see you again?"

Chuckling, I answered, "That's up to you, isn't it?"

But I regretted the words as soon as I had said them. They did nothing but remind us both that I was bought and paid for with a credit card. Whatever pull, or ache, or fucking tug I felt, it didn't matter. I was nothing more than a possession rented out night after night to the highest bidder. He would leave, and I would continue to get fucked by clients. The need to be near him may have overwhelmed me at times, but that didn't change the fact that I was being paid to be there.

"Do you …want toseemeagain?" he asked nervously.

How could he doubt it?

"Very much," I reassured him. Taking our hands, I put them on his stomach, wrapping my arms around him so that every inch of him was touching me.

"Jasper?"

"Mmmm?" I asked absently as my tongue rediscovered the tender spot at the nape of his neck.

"Could you show me around Seattle sometime?" he asked shyly. I stilled and considered his request. There was really nothing I wanted more than to spend more time with him. Paid or not, I wanted to feel that tug deeply seeded in me, the combination of nauseous and adrenaline was quickly becoming addicting.

I was beginning to understand Riley's drug addiction.

He took my hesitation as a no.

"It's okay, forget it asked," he sighed, disappointment in his voice even as he exposed more of his neck for my tasting. Letting go of his hands, I turned him to face me and just before I kissed him, I saw the desire coat his eyes.

"Edward, I would like nothing more," I mumbled against his lips before deepening the kiss, winding my arms around his back, pushing his ass forward to feel his hips grind into mine. His arms went around my neck pulling me down more.

I didn't care that it was daylight and we were fucking making out naked on the balcony of a four star hotel. At that moment all that really mattered was that he was in my arms. When I heard him groan and felt his erection rubbing against my stomach, I pulled away.

"I got to go," I said regretfully. It was already past my time with him, but I didn't care. I turned and went into the suite, finding my jeans, tee shirt and underwear scattered on the floor by the couch. Picking them up, I felt Edward's hands on my back as I slipped my underwear on, and then my jeans. He growled at me as I pulled the shirt on over my head, his hands still skimming my back under it as I did up my jeans.

"I'll be right back," I said as I headed for the bedroom to get my bag. Packing up the beads, lube and the condoms, I zipped the bag up and glanced at the clock.

I had been there almost an hour later than I had been paid for.

Returning to the main room, I found Edward dressed in his pants, the button still undone. I walked over to the carts of food. Immediately, he was by my side, leaning against me, laying his cheek on my shoulder.

"Edward, do you mind if take some of this with me? I hate for it to go to waste and I'm an awful cook," I asked, hoping I wasn't overstepping any lines.

"Course, take whatever you want," he smiled, a lopsided grin that made my blood rush through my body. "In fact, let me have it packed up."

With in minutes, there was a waiter in his room with containers, packing up all the leftover food. I saw Edward slip some money to him as he pushed the empty carts into the hallway.

"Can you bring these down to the black Towncar in front of the lobby?" he requested to the waiter.

A second later, the waiter returned and put the containers onto one of the carts and left. Surprised, I raised an eyebrow at Edward. The dozen feet that separated us the most we had been since I had woken up.

"I'm having him bring it all down to your car. I assume it is out front waiting for you? You are late after all," he explained without my asking.

Shocked, I nodded and picked up my bag. "Thank you."

"What else do you have in that bag?" he chuckled, but blushed at the same time.

"You'll find out next time," I paused.

"Promise?"

"Yes," I smiled. "I guess I should go."

"Yeah," he sighed sadly and moved from the door. I walked to him and took his face into my hands, my lips finding his, my tongue entering and seeking his. The pull eased by his nearness, my body calmed as soon as our skin made contact. Moaning, he leaned into me, his hands in my curls, fisting so tight it almost hurt.

He was as desperate to not let me go as I was to not leave.

We weren't a tragedy, some lovers torn apart on the cusp of lifelong true love...but it sure fucking felt like it.

Breaking the kiss, he whispered one simple, vital word, "Stay."

"I wish I could, baby, but…" I stuttered, the use of the endearment, and for once meaning it, clenched my heart.

"I know," he said, releasing a sweet, moist breath. With one last kiss, I turned and opened the door, his hand in mine until I was in the hallway. When I reached the elevator, I turned and saw him in the doorway, shirtless with unbuttoned slacks on, staring at me. I gave him a small wave and smile just as the elevator doors opened.

In the lobby, I practically ran for the exit. Aro was just closing the trunk to the car as I walked up to him.

"Good morning, Aro," I greeted with a smile.

"Morning, sir. Were we hungry today?" he asked, nodding to the trunk full of food.

"Leftovers," I winked and got into the back. Aro climbed in behind the wheel and started the car. "Will you tell?"

"Sir, I think the clock on the dash must be wrong, I swear I was here on time but I must have been an hour early."

Catching his reflection in the mirror, I smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Aro, I owe you."

"Think nothing of it, sir," he said as he pulled out into the stream of traffic.

"Aro, do you mind if we stop by the docks, this is way too much food for one person and I know a few people down there that could use it?"

"Of course, Sir," he nodded and steered the car toward the water. Once there, I spotted Ricky pretty quick and called him over. The others wouldn't accept the food if they saw me dressed in designer clothes getting out of a limo, I wasn't one of them anymore, but they would accept it from Ricky. He thanked me a few times and carried the two big boxes toward the building where we used to hang out. Aro and I got back into the car and headed for my apartment. I thought about nothing on the ride home but the scent of Edward on my body, taste of him on my lips and the feel of him on my skin.

I think I had found my own personal wizard.

"**~~""

The elevator doors opened and I turned down the hall, groaning when I saw him. Sitting on the floor in front my door, his legs stretched out in front of him and his chin resting on his chest, he was clearly asleep.

"What the fuck, Rile, I told you not to spend the night here," I sighed, pushing his legs aside to unlock my door. He quickly scrambled to his feet and wrapped his arms around my neck. "Jesus, what the fuck…"

"Where you been?" he said nervously. "I was worried."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed, kicking the door open with my foot and reaching up to undo his hold on me. "I was out."

"All fucking night?"

"Yeah, _all _night," I emphasized. "Wait, how long have you been here?"

"I don't know, about an hour or two. I stopped by a few times last night but you weren't here."

"Shit, did anyone see you?" I looked down at the hall when a door opened.

"Nah man, I just knocked and then left. Well," he shoved his hands in his pocket. "Until I had a john drop me off awhile ago. He fucked me right around the corner. Convenient, huh?"

"Very." I motioned for him to come in and got a good look at him. His clothes were new, and his hair had been washed recently. But when he looked up at me, I saw bloodshot eyes darting back and forth, then I noticed his nose sniffling and his body sporadically jerking. "You're fucked up. What are you on?"

"Nothing," he grinned.

"Bullshit," I sighed. "Rile, you gotta get off the shit, man. It's going to kill you, trust me. I told you what happened, right? Don't you remember?"

"Yeah, I remember, it's just… hard, Jasper. Life out there, ya know, it's hard and ya just wanna forget sometimes. Just wanna forget whose dick in your mouth or your ass."

"Yeah, I know," I agreed, tossing my bag on the couch before turning to him. "Go take a shower and I'll get you some food."

"Okay, man, thanks." He was already stripping his clothes as he walked toward my bathroom, leaving his shirt and jeans and underwear on the floor as he went.

Just before he entered the bathroom, he turned and smiled at me. It was wide and bright and sexy as fuck. "Sure you don't want to join me?" he asked, reaching down to stroke himself slowly.

I was fucking tempted. My hands even moved to the hem of my tee shirt at the sight of his hardening cock.

"Just go shower," I sighed. He had just closed the door and I heard the water running when there was a knock at my door. Opening it, I saw Aiden there with a box of the food I had kept for myself. "Thanks," I smiled, taking it and pulling out some money to hand to him like I had seen Edward do.

"Thanks, Mr. Whitlock," he nodded as he turned to leave. Taking the box into the kitchen, I opened all the containers and smiled at all the food on my counter. Back in my living room, I sat on the couch and checked my Blackberry. I was free for the rest of the day but had clients booked for the rest of the week.

One caught my eye.

_Peter Carlson, Tuesday 9pm._

I swear my cock hardened just at the name alone. I hadn't seen Peter in a few weeks and was eager to be with him again.

"What the fuck are you thinking about?" Riley asked, plopping down on the couch next to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked lazily.

"I come out and find you sitting there all dreamy eyed with a shit eating grin in your face, you didn't even hear me." Still damp, he sat next to me in only a towel wrapped around his hips. I gasped when I felt his hand palming my cock through my jeans. "Mmmm… were you thinking about me taking a shower or someone else? Perhaps your john from last night?"

He pressed harder and leaned in, his warm tongue darting out to flick in my ear. Suddenly, he pulled back. "I'm not the only one that needs a shower," he smiled. "You fucking smell like sex. Who fucked you?"

It was a scent that we all knew, as familiar gasoline or the fried food wafting form the back door of the restaurants in the alleys we used to fuck in. The scent of sex was unique, musky and earthy and clung to us all… unlike when I was on the streets, I was able to shower and wash it off when I wanted but… I didn't want to wash off Edward's scent.

I liked wearing it.

Chuckling, I tilted my head to him. "No one."

"You topped?" He sat back and sighed. "Lucky fuck."

"Him or me?"

"Both." The word had barely left his lips and he was straddling me, his towel falling open to reveal his growing erection as he sat on my lap, grinding his hips. With his hands on my shoulders, he put on a show for me, leaning back, he licked his lips and moaned, his hair dripping water onto his shoulders, the drops running down his chest, rolling over his nipples. Under him, I was hard, my erection strained in my jeans as I put my hands on his naked hips and leaned forward, taking one of his nipples into my mouth.

"Fuck yes," he groaned while I sucked and licked the water off his heated skin. "God, I'm so fucking horny. The guy had a huge dick, I got so hard and he didn't take care of me," he said as he lifted his head and leaned in to kiss me. His lips were chapped and dry but felt familiar and comfortable. Reaching down, he took one of my hands from his hips and put it on his cock. With his covering mine, we stroked him. Rocking his hips into our hands, he fucked them steadily, his cock already pulsing under my touch while his tongue explored my mouth.

I knew his frustration, I had suffered from it before as well. I knew the release he sought, and I knew I was going to give it to him.

I also knew I could take him into my room and fuck him. I had no clients for the rest of the day, there was nothing stopping me from taking him… a few times.

Except something did stop me.

The pull that had turned to a dull, but bearable ache, sharpened when Riley sat on my lap. Focusing on his body, I pushed the thoughts from my mind, I had no obligation to anyone. I had been bought, paid for and had done my job by pleasuring the client…several times in fact.

So why did I feel a twinge of guilt as I deepened the kiss with Riley?

Frustrated with myself, I growled and wrapped my hand behind Riley's neck, his wet hair tangling with my fingers when I fisted it and thrust my hips up into him. Moaning into the kiss, he began pumping himself faster, his precum slickening our grips as our hands furiously flew over his cock.

Breaking the kiss, he panted into my mouth, "Fuck me, Jasper….please…"

I debated for all of about two seconds before I released his cock and pushed him off me, his towel falling to the floor when he stood up. Leaning forward I took the head of his cock into my mouth and sucked it hard, his hands were in my hair immediately, his chin on his chest as he watched me.

"So fucking good at head, Jas. Fucking whore can give such good head."

Releasing him, I stood up and with a wicked grin, I headed for my bedroom. Pulling off my tee shirt, I turned to him.

"Coming? I'll show you exactly what this whore can do," I said as I unbutton my jeans.

"In a bed, really?" he said, genuinely excited. His cock bounced as he ran to me, grabbed my hand and yanked me into my bedroom. He sat on the bed and unzipped my jeans for me, barely freeing my erection before his chapped lips were on it, his head quickly bobbing up and down. I began to fuck his mouth hard and fast, just how we both liked it.

"Such a slut," I murmured as my cock slid in and out of his mouth. When he pulled away, he lay back on the bed, his cock hard and wanting as he lifted his legs and spread them wide.

"Fuck me, whore," he demanded, looking up at me with those fucking eyes and stroking his cock.

I spent the next several hours showing him what a talented whore I was.

"**~~**"

"Jesus Christ, Jas, where'd you learn to fuck like that?" he panted as I rolled off him and onto my back. Reaching down I pulled off the condom and tossed it onto the table near the bed. Sweat covered my body, Edward's scent now mixed with Riley's and a fresh round of sex, his thick cum dribbled down the side of my stomach, and I swiped it with my hand before it reached my bedspread. "I mean, fuck, I didn't even have to get myself off," he sighed happily.

I had never felt more sated; every muscle in my body was relaxed and coated with the remnants of my orgasm. While I had slammed into him, I had stroked him until he grunted and shot his load, long streams coating both our stomachs. Once he was satisfied, I came, exhaustion hitting me hard and fast.

I was testing the limits of my stamina.

We lay side by side, not touching, as our bodies regulated themselves back to normal breathing. When I looked over at him, his eyes were closed and soft snores escaped him. Rolling onto my side, I watched him.

He was so scarred, not in the outside- on the outside he was beautiful, too beautiful to be on the streets. In another life, he could have been a model with his strong jaw, cheekbones and pure complexion. He had eyes full of trouble, a come hither depth to them that would entice in the most reluctant of people to follow him wherever he would lead.

His scars were on the inside, deep inside a gentle soul that had been tormented by one powerful incident in his life, one that made him what he was.

A drug addicted whore.

We all had ended up on the streets for different reasons. Some were runaways, some had become addicts, lost their jobs and homes, and others had been lured into it by promises of dreams being fulfilled.

Riley had been kicked out of his house at he was fifteen and he had come out to his religious parents. They lived in a small town outside Seattle, his father was reverend of their local church while his mother sang in the choir. God was everything in their home, and God didn't like queers. He came out to them one Saturday afternoon, and by Sunday night he was on the side of the highway hitchhiking for a ride to anywhere. Apparently it was okay for his dad to be fucking his church secretary but God forbid he have a fag for a son. After months of eating out of dumpsters behind restaurants, he began to sell himself.

For me, for me it was a bit different, but what did it matter, we both ended up in the same hell. On my eighteenth birthday I had been taken into the office of the those that had ignored my abuse for so long and was handed two hundred dollars, a duffle bag for my clothes and bus ticket…oh and a 'good luck out there, son' as they patted me on the back and wished me luck.

I was silent.

What does one say? Thanks for the memories?

Two days later, I was working the streets of Seattle. I didn't chose Seattle, it choose me. It was the furthest north I could get with the money I had. My career had chosen me as well. I had been fucked enough, so I had thought why not get paid for it.

I had only been in Seattle a few weeks when I had met Riley. I had seen him around, hanging on the same few streets I did, but we hadn't paid much attention to each other. A john had pulled up the curb and we both walked toward the car. As we both approached the car, Riley pulled up and grabbed my wrist.

"It's a cop," he whispered.

"Yeah right, you just want the john," I snorted.

"Nah man, I'm serious, it's a fucking cop," he repeated. I stopped and looked at the dark charcoal car, the window was only half way down and they were tinted. It was in good shape, no dents or rust, no obvious married-with-children things hanging from the mirror.

"Let me deal with it," he offered and let go of my wrist. While I waited, Riley walked up the car and leaned in the window. "Need directions?" he asked.

"I'm looking for some fun, want to join me?" the voice in the car asked.

"Nah, sorry man, my friend and I were just heading out to get some dinner. Have a good night," he nodded and stood up as the car drove away.

"Thanks, man," I said when he came back.

"No problem. Name's Riley," he put out his hand.

"Jasper."

"Odd name, Jasper. You're definitely not from around here with a name and accent like that."

"Texas."

"Cool. Can I give you some advice, Jasper?" Nodding, I put my hands in my pockets and leaned against the building. "Don't let anyone know your real name. Keep it to yourself. Make something up."

"Like?"

Shrugging, he looked me over, his eyes lighting a bit as he took in my hair and eyes. "Blondie?"

"Blondie it is," I agreed.

The next day we heard the police had done a sweep of our streets, over a dozen of us had been arrested.

From that day on, we watched each other's backs.

Against my will, my eyes began to drift closed, and the last thing I remembered was hearing Riley talk in his sleep.

When I woke up, he was gone.

Then I heard movement in my living room.

I bolted out of bed naked, pissed at myself for having slept and leaving him unsupervised in my apartment. Running into the living room, I found him naked at my desk, the drawers opened, his hands shuffling through papers in search of money or something he could sell. He was so involved with his work he didn't even hear me enter the room.

"What the fuck," I growled. Spinning, he looked me, his eyes wide with fright at first, then calming when he realized it was only me.

"Hey, you're up," he said as he tried to close the drawers behind him.

"What the hell are you doing going through my shit, Rile? Looking for money? Looking for something to sell?" He looked down, and I swear, for once, he actually looked ashamed. "After all the shit I've done for you, put my life on the fucking line for you, and you do this?"

Like a scolded school boy he walked over to me, his head hanging low, until he stood right in front of me. Looking up at me through his tousled hair, his dark eyes stormy and conflicted, he put his forehead against my chest.

"I'm fucking sorry, Jas," he sighed into my skin, his arms wrapping around my middle. My arms hung by my side as he continued to hold me. Anger flowed from me in waves, frustration ebbing right behind it. Eventually, I put a hand on his shoulder and laid my cheek on his head. As soon as he felt the anger give way to forgiveness, he began sobbing.

"I just can't help it, Jas. Sometimes, sometimes I just want to fucking stop and a second later, I'm trying to score more shit. Part of me just doesn't care anymore. I don't care if the shit kills me, I don't care if a john kills me… at least then, at least then… at least," he gasped, his breaths heavy and warm against my chest. "At least then I wouldn't feel anything anymore. No pain, no fear, nothing…"

Then both my arms were around him, holding him tight to me as he let it all out.

"There's no fucking out for me. I'm stuck in this fucking circle doing the same thing day after day and I just don't fucking care anymore." Calming, he took a deep breath and pulled back to look up at me. "Going to kick me out now?"

Cupping his face with my hands, I kissed his dry lips and said the first thing that occurred to me. "Let's go eat, asshole."

Letting him go, I went to my room and put one a pair of boxers before I headed for the kitchen and heard him cleaning up my desk before he joined me. When he walked in, he was wearing a pair of my boxers too.

"I hope you don't mind," he asked hopefully.

"Not at all." He also wore the same look of awe when he saw the amount of food on my counter as I had when I had seen it at Edward's hotel room. "Where'd all the fucking food come from? Gwenda the good witch bring it over?"

"Glenda," I corrected him again. "And no, it was left over from a breakfast this morning."

"All this was the fucking leftovers? Jesus Christ, what the hell was the main course?" He started picking through the food. "Seriously man, you gotta hook me up with your bitch."

"No fucking way. She wouldn't take you anyway," I said, swatting at his hand. "Leave the food alone."

"Why the fuck not, I'm a good fuck," he frowned.

"It's not the fucking, it's the drugs. She does testing, we all gotta stay clean."

"Where's the fun in that? Must suck getting fucked sober."

"Sometimes."

While I heated up some food, he sat at the table, running his hands through his hair, his body jittery as it came down from one high and waited for the next. After I put some food in front of him, he began to eat with his hands.

"Rile, I have silverware," I sighed and went to get some.

"Sorry," he mumbled, withdrawing his hand and waiting until I gave him a fork.

"Stop fucking apologizing," I said sitting down across from him.

"Ya know," he took a mouthful of food and spoke around it. "It was nice to get fucked on a bed. Thanks."

With us, it was the simple things in life that pleased us most. The four-star hotels were nice, but we were happy with getting fucking on a mattress instead of the backseat of a car. We didn't need chef prepared food, just something not previously eaten made, and fuck, to use an actual fork was a foreign concept.

Though for Riley it was more like a shovel, as he plowed the food into his mouth faster and faster with each bite while his eyes darted wildly around the kitchen.

"Rile, slow down. It's not going anywhere. No one is going to take it, and there's more. You're going to make yourself sick if you eat like that."

"_Jasper, my silly boy, slow down or you're going to make yourself sick," her sing-song voice chimed to me as I sat at the small table and ate my cereal. They had forgotten to feed me dinner the night before, so I was starving the by time I got up for breakfast. _

"_I'm just hungry, mama," I replied, trying to slow down. _

"_I know, baby doll," she rumpled my hair before reaching around me for the mirror and lighter. _

With a conscious effort, he slowed his eating and even took the time for a few sips of his soda. We sat naked and ate in silence for a few minutes.

"I went against my own rule," I admitted, finally breaking the silence.

"What's rule?"

"To not fuck you when you're high."

"Oh." He put his fork down and leaned back. "Sorry." His brows furrowed. "But you've fucked me on the street when I've been high."

"Yeah, I didn't care then. Now I do."

"Jasper, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you think there's a hell?" he asked quietly, keeping his eyes on his food.

"I don't know, Rile. Sure feels like we are living in it sometimes. But if there's a hell, there must be a heaven, right?" I told him what he needed to hear without completely lying. I didn't believe in God, or heaven, or hell for my own reasons, but I had had different upbringing than Riley did.

He had been taught that if you just have faith, God will see you through.

I had been taught that no one looks out for you but yourself. If God did exist, I must have thoroughly pissed him off when I was born because he had treated me like shit for twenty years.

He shrugged his thin shoulders and mumbled, "Doesn't matter if there's a heaven. Not like I'd ever get into heaven."

"Rile," I sighed.

"Nah, it's okay," he resigned as he began eating again. "I'm an addict and whore, don't think they open up those pearly gates for scum like me."

"Rile, you're not scum," I snapped and his head shot up, surprised at my tone. "You just got dealt a bad hand and some shitty parents. Join the club." He chuckled and kept eating, and had three more servings before he was done.

Finally full, he went and took another shower while I threw his clothes in the wash, making sure to check his pockets for drugs and cash. Finding a fifty, I pulled it out while the clothes washed and dried. When the clothes were done, I put it back in.

When he came out, I was on the couch wearing a pair of briefs. He dressed in front of me, teasing me with his ass as he bent over and wiggled in front of me. I reached down and touched myself as he put on his little show for me and then he sat next to me and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"How's Newton?" I asked.

"I know he's out of the hospital but I haven't seen him on the streets. Someone said he left Seattle, but I don't know."

"So, I was thinking about going to see James tomorrow. Give him some more money."

"How much more does he want?"

"You mean you don't know? He hasn't told you? Sent you to me with messages?" His head shook against me. "Then why were you here this morning?"

"Because I wanted to see you."

"And a shower, and food and fucking…"

"Shit yeah," he chuckled.

"It's up to thirteen thousand, well it's actually fourteen, but I'm going to give him another one tomorrow."

"Shit, Jas where you going to come up with that kind of money?" He pulled away a bit and looked up at me.

"Just going to give him what I can each week, but never going to catch up at this rate."

"Sorry man," he put his head back down. "Want me to see what I can do?"

"No!" I answered loudly and quickly. There was no fucking way I wanted Riley anymore involved than he was. Already he was in too deep, his life in danger if I didn't keep up regular payments. Also, I certainly didn't trust Riley and had no idea what the hell he was already relaying back to James.

"He doesn't know I'm here. He thinks I'm with a john and as long as I give him the money, he won't know."

Breathing a sigh of relief, I said, "Thanks. Know where I can find him tomorrow?" I asked.

"Probably on North High, he's been working there the past few weeks." With a heavy sigh, he stood up and headed for the door.

"Wait," I called out, standing up as well. "How much did the john give you?"

"Fifty," he replied. Digging it out of jeans, he flashed it to me proudly.

He'd probably pass out if he knew I got paid five times that…for an hour.

"How much will he take?"

"Thirty-five."

Walking to my desk, I opened the one locked drawer he couldn't get into. I pulled out another fifty and gave it to him. "Consider it my payment for services rendered."

"Rendered?"

"Forget it," I smiled, "Just take it." Taking the money, he put it in his pocket. "Don't let him know you've got it. But Rile?"

"Yeah, I know, I know, don't buy shit with it. Get food."

Smiling, I walked to the door and opened it. On his way by he kissed me cheek. "Thanks for the great fuck, Jas," he said as he walked out. "See ya."

"**~~**~~"

The drizzle was steady as I stood on the on the stoop to the abandoned building watching James. He tossed a cigarette on the ground and pulled his sweatshirt hood up over his head. We were all used to the drizzle, usually finding entryways to stand in while waiting for the next car looking for company to pull up. He had been alone for the past thirty minutes, all of his whores out with johns or passed out somewhere. With my hand on the switchblade in my jacket pocket, I jogged across the street. Squinting, he saw me, his hands went into the front pocket of his sweatshirt.

"Change your mind, Blondie?" he smirked as I walked up. "Or did your sugar daddy kick your ass out already?"

"Fuck you," I snarled, towering over him when I stopped in front of him.

"Nice to see you too." He flashed me an evil grin. "Are you here to beg for employment or got something for me?"

With a clenched jaw, I pulled the bills out from my pocket. Snagging the money with his dirty hands, he counted it.

"One grand, nice. You've been consistent, Blondie. That sugar daddy know you're stealing his money?"

Part of me wanted to tell him that I had worked fucking hard for that money, that no one had just given me anything…_ever_ in my life.

Instead I demanded, "I want a receipt for everything I've paid so far."

"What the hell do you think this is? Wal fucking Mart? I don't give out fucking receipts," he scoffed.

"You do now."

He eyed me, sizing up my demeanor and just how far I was willing to push him to get what I wanted. Glaring at him, I jutted out my chin and tightened my grip on the blade.

"Fine," he conceded. Turning, he grabbed a backpack off the ground and dug through it, finally puling out a pen and scrap of paper. "Two thousand, right?"

"Three, and you fucking know it."

Curling his lip, he growled at me,"Don't fuck with me, Jasper." Putting the paper against the wall, he mistakenly turned his back on me and my fingers twitched in my pocket, eager to pull the blade out and slide it into his flesh, encouraging his crimson life to leak from him. Even though he was scum of the earth, I couldn't bring myself to do it, to take another's life, no matter how worthless it was. He wrote the date and the amount I had given him so far then a line and then paused.

"Need a calculator?"

"Fuck off," he murmured as he did the mental calculation in his head before writing the amount left.

_Thirteen thousand dollars. _

When he turned, he handed me the paper. "Sign it," I told him, not taking it. He scribbled his name on the bottom and then held it out to me.

Taking it, I checked it over before putting it in my pocket.

"Pleasure doing business with you," he smiled. "Remember, when the daddy kicks your scrawny ass out, you know where to find me."

"Fuck you," I sneered before taking a few steps back until I was out of his reach, then turned and quickly walked down the sidewalk.

"Hey," the voice called to me from the alley before he reached out and grabbed my arm.

"Rile," I sighed as he pulled me into the alley. His eyes were red and his lips twitched. I looked down at his arm and yanked his sleeve up to reveal a fresh mark. "Go away."

"Fuck man, I just wanted to say hi. Did you see James?"

"Yeah, and I don't want him to see us talking, so I gotta go."

"Wait, Jas…you got um…" he looked up and down the alley before leaning and whispering, "any money? I'll let you fuck me again."

I pushed him off me, a bit too hard and he fell against the brick wall behind him. "I don't want to fuck you again, Riley. And no, I've got no money to give you."

He frowned and began to undo his pants. "But the other day, it was good, remember how good it was? It was good, right? Right? It was good?"

Sighing, I closed my eyes. "It was fucking fantastic, Rile, but I'm not doing it again. Go find somewhere safe to sleep off your high." Without another word, I turned and walked out of the alley, not looking back.

"**~~**"

"It's been too fucking long, Jasper," he murmured just as lips touched mine in a soft reacquainting kiss. When he felt my lips part, his tongue entered, searching for mine. We stood kissing in the doorway of his room, not caring who might have seen us. With one hand on the small of my back under my jacket and the other fingering my still damp curls, he pressed me to him. I felt needed and wanted by the urgency of his kiss. The fact that he couldn't even wait to get me inside the room made my body hum with excitement. When he finally pulled away, he grinned and reached for my hand.

"Come on in, gorgeous," he finally invited. "I think we're done giving the others guests a show. After all, they didn't pay for you, I did." He winked and closed the door behind me. He hadn't changed in the weeks since I had seen him. The natural blush to his cheeks was still visible under the day's growth on his jaw, his blue-green eyes were bright and mischievous, and his hair had been cut since the last time and was slightly gelled. The room was the same as always, the bed pristinely made, the television was off and there was music playing. It was pounding, the bass loud and sexual, the words dirty and urgent.

"What's with the music?" I asked.

"Mood music," he answered with a grin before walking over to pure himself a drink. "Have you eaten?" he asked and motioned to a very familiar looking hotel cart in the corner of the room."

What was it with clients trying to feed me lately? Was I getting too skinny? Little did they know I had gained about twenty pounds since getting off the streets.

"Yes, thank you. I had a nice dinner before I left."

"Alone?"

The question through me off guard. Was he asking if I had been with a client or if I had a boyfriend? Regardless if I had been alone or not, I knew the answer he wanted to hear.

"Yes, alone."

From his chair, he smiled and nodded. "Very good, Jasper," he acknowledged my possible lie, and I was pleased I had said the right thing. "The client always wants to think he," he paused and raised an eyebrow, "or she, is the most important thing in your life during their time."

I unbuttoned my jacket and nodded.

"Am I the most important thing in your life right now, Jasper?" he asked, laying his head against the back of the chair his hand ran down his chest and unbuttoned each small disk as he went, the expensive shirt falling open as he continued his way down. My eyes watched each minute movement and I licked my lips knowing what was under the shirt…and those pants.

I wanted more than our lips to be reacquainted.

Walking over to him, I pulled his shirt open, exposing his smooth, tanned skin. His breath hitched when I dragged a finger down his chest, over his nipples to dusting of dark hair above the waistband of his pants. Deftly, I undid his belt and slipped the button through the hole before undoing the zipper and letting the flaps fall open. Laying my palm over his lengthening erection, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. Glancing at his hands, I saw them gripping the arms of the chair in restraint.

"Of course you are," I said giving him a small smile. "And as the most important thing, my body is yours." I ran my tongue along his jaw to his lips. "Tell me what you want, Peter."

Swallowing hard, his cock twitched under my hand. My own was already straining against my pants, begging for attention.

"Do you want to fuck me? Make my ass yours and yours alone? Feel yourself deep in me, make me scream your name? Because…" I paused to nibble his neck, my hand never stopping over his cock. "I want you to fuck me."

Growling, he reached up and grabbed my shirt, small buttons flying in every direction, scattering along the carpet as he ripped it open. Just as quickly, his hands were on my pants, he had them undone before I had even registered what was happening. Briefly, I felt the cool air on my cock right before I felt his warm mouth embrace it. Instantly devouring me, I felt the back of his throat as soon I had entered him.

"Fuck," I gasped, my hands going to his hair, soft and thick. Releasing me, he stood up, his hands on my shoulders under my shirt.

"Off," he demanded as he slid my shirt and jacket down my arms, his lips on mine again. Walking us backwards, I felt my legs hit the bed and I stopped. My arms wrapped around his neck. As our heads tilted and angled and the kissed deepened to one where I was gasping for breath, he pushed me down onto the bed. He slipped his own shirt off, pulled his briefs down to expose his erection, and then crawled over me, our open pants allowing our cocks to meet flesh to flesh. My eyes closed at the electric sensation.

Breaking the kiss, he pushed himself up, resting his weight on his palms on either side of my shoulders. His eyes glanced down to our cocks as he rocked his hips against mine.

"Watch us," he said and I did as told, my eyes leaving his incredible face to follow his gaze to where we were joined. Moaning when I saw our erections, rubbing each other, the clothing adding a layer of friction that was delicious and painful at the same time, I ran my hands down his back and under his pants to press his ass to me. "Mmm…"

Reaching behind him, he grabbed my hand, then the other, placing them above my head in his as he lowered himself, our bodies flushed, and kissed me again. Every muscle in my body yearned and ached for more, but Peter was good a lot of shit and he was a master at teasing.

I had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

It seemed forever that we kissed, half dressed, as he lay on top of me, pressing his cock against mine. I had been on the verge of coming a few times, each time he had sensed it and lightened the pressure, bringing me back under control. Slickened by our precum, our cocks slid together effortlessly.

"Ready to be fucked?" he asked me as he sucked on my nipple and my back arched off the bed.

"Yes, please…so ready," I writhed under him, my hands still in his grasp above my head.

"What do you want?"

"You." It was the only thing I could think of.

"You're full of right answers tonight," he smiled against my chest before lifting himself off me and the bed. Standing between my legs, he reached for my pants and briefs and fucking finally pulled them all the way off. Then he shed his own before holding out his hand to me. Clasping it, he pulled me off the bed to stand in front of him. "Jasper," he murmured as he began kissing my neck, his fingers wrapping around my throat to angle my head for him. "Do you still trust me?" he asked against my sweaty skin.

He was the only one I was learning to trust.

When I nodded, he released me and walked over to a bag on the desk and pulled out a blindfold. Turning he held it up to me. "This okay?"

While my heart raced in my chest from desire and nerves, I nodded. Returning to me, he pushed me away from the bed, and stood behind me. Gently placing the silky blindfold over my eyes, he tied it behind my head.

"If you want me to take it off at any time, just tell me. I won't do anything you don't want to do, understand, Jasper?"

"Yes, sir," I replied automatically, bowing my head. No matter how close I felt to Peter, he was, at least for the night, my boss, and my body was his. From behind me, his put a hand under my chin and lifted it.

"Jasper you might be here to serve me but you are not here to bow to me." I nodded. "Good boy," he kissed my shoulder before walking away and leaving me standing there, naked and hard and blindfolded. "Wait right there." He was only gone a few seconds before he returned and grabbed my hand, puling me forward. "Stop here," he said, letting go of my hand.

Usually I relied on my eyes to keep me safe, without them, I felt confused and anxious. Taking a few deep breaths, I attempted to calm my pounding heart, constantly reminding myself it was just Peter, he was my friend, he wouldn't hurt me.

"That's it," he said soothingly. "Relax." Working his way from my shoulders to my feet, his hands explored my body, covering every inch of me with gentle caresses.

Everywhere but where I wanted it most.

I felt fluid seep from my cock, running down to my curls as he continued to taunt me with his barely there touches. Moaning, I lolled my head back, swaying as my equilibrium was thrown, his hands went to my hips to steady me.

"I think you're ready," he said placing a quick kiss on the small of my back.

The next sensation I felt was cool and light, but not like cloth. It was more firm and definite. The touch ran up the side of my right leg, across my lower back and then down the outside of my left leg. My mind reeled with possibilities. The touch was different from his fingers, but carried the same tenderness.

Until I felt the slight smack on my ass. I yelped, not from pain but in surprise, and went to jump forward, but his hand was on my hip to stop me.

"Stay still, Jasper" he ordered and I regained my ground, my arms limp by my side even though my muscles were tensed and ready. Again the light touch ran up and down my legs, only that time it didn't stop with my legs, but continued up my arm, brushed across my shoulders and down my other arm. My fingers twitched when it neared them, eager and curious to reach out and grab it, feel what it was.

"Do you know what I have?" he asked, never stopping his movement. I shook my head as my breath caught in my throat. "A crop. Know what a crop is?"

Having no fucking clue what a crop was, I guess from the touch it was like a whip. "A whip?"

"Hmmm, not quite, but close. A whip is made to inflict a sharp sting, thin welts and lasting pain, a crop is blunter, for smacking, with short bursts of pain, leaving lovely triangular marks. But…" he shifted behind me, "just as teasing."

The edge of the crop nudged between my legs and I spread them without asking, fucking eager to feel it more.

Chuckling, he rubbed the inside of my left thigh with the stick before tapping it with the leather flap at the end. When he didn't speak, I couldn't tell if he was behind or in front of me, and even though I felt movement around me, my entire fucking body was focused on then one place where that crop was touching me.

"You are so fucking hard, Jasper," he said from low in front of me. I had been standing near the chair and imagined he had sat down in it.

"Fuck," I moaned when I felt the leather tracing my nipples and they pebbled under the fondling. My body was shaking, trembling, as he continued his titillating but exquisite torture. The crop swept along the lines in my neck before brushing over my collarbone and down my side, dipping into the 'v' of my hips and then moving in and over my short curls. My stomach muscles tensed, quivering as he dragged it across them, outlining the indentations there. My cock fucking throbbed with need.

"Oh… my …God," I released in panting breaths as I fucking finally felt the leather where I had desired it most. Grazing the underside of my cock, I thought I might fucking come from the airy touch alone. I was ready to come undone; he had manipulated my body into a weak, shuddering mess.

And I was fucking thankful for it.

He stroked my cock with the crop, the pressure always heavy enough to feel, to bring me to that edge and then he would lighten up and let me calm down before doing it again. I wasn't surprised when I felt the smack against the side of my cock, but I jumped regardless, the pain shooting through me before immediately turning to a pleasurable burn.

"Do you like it?" he asked, the crop once again at the junction of thighs, the thick leather end grazing the sensitive skin before my entrance, the braided stick rubbing against my balls. I wantonly spread my legs further and felt myself grinding down onto the crop.

"Yes, fucking…yes…" I groaned unabashedly.

"I thought you might," he said quietly as he removed the crop from between my legs and I felt his hands on my hips. "Do you want more?"

"Yes. More," I demanded quietly. He replied with a sharp smack to the side of my thigh. "Yes, more, please, Peter," I corrected. After one more long stroke up and down my cock, I felt his hands on m hips.

"Turn around," he requested and I did. Anticipating what was coming next, my body began to tremble violently. I had been smacked around, I had been beaten, I had been raped, but they had all been for the evil pleasure of my deviant abuser, what Peter was doing was enticing, controlling and thrilled me in a way I had never willingly experienced before. As soon with my back was to him, I briefly felt the edge of the crop along the curve of my ass before I felt the smack on my flesh.

"Beautiful," he murmured before repeating the smack on my other cheek. "Jasper, the pink marks on your pale skin makes me so hard."

Moaning, I fisted my hands at my side to avoid touching myself. Never had I trusted someone as much I was him, it was a different feeling, an anxiousness mixed with relief to finally be able to let go, a freedom I had never experienced with another person before.

Three more hard hits with the crop and then I felt his hands on my ass, rubbing the soft flesh followed by the velvet touch of his tongue as he lapped the marks, soothing the sting.

"Bend over, hands on the table," he said running a hand down my spine. Doing as he asked, I blindly reached out for the table and found the edge, placing my hands on it, I bent over. "Mmmm," he groaned just before spreading me with his hands.

"Holy fucking shit," I let out in a strangle moan as his tongue found its way between my legs, circling and teasing my hole. "Fuck, fuck,' I moaned, pressing back in his face. Holding me still, his tongue entered me, strong and forceful but yielding. Spitting on my hole, he lubed it for what came next. One long finger entered me slowly, pressing past the muscles until he was able to pump it in and out with ease.

"Right there," I gasped as he hit my prostate. Adding a second finger, he tapped it each time he inserted them. "Feels fucking…" I couldn't finish, my mind had gone hazy. I felt nothing but his fingers in me, the sting from the crop long since gone. "Can… I… touch… myself?"

"Not yet." He withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his tongue. The next second, his touch was gone, but I heard him moving behind me, the distinct sound of a bottle of lube and the ripping of a condom package.

I wanted to tell to hurry the fuck up.

When his hands were on m hips again, pulling me back toward him, I almost sighed in relief. With one hand on my hip, the other on his cock, he guided me as I slowly lowered myself onto him. A low guttural moan escaped me as he filled me up inch by inch, until he was fully sheathed in my ass and I was sitting on his lap.

"Fuck, Jasper," he sighed. My legs were on the outside of his, our calves touching and I reached for the arms of the chair for leverage to raise and lower myself. He began to gently thrust up, his hands on my hips to control my movements, holding me back from slamming onto him as fast as I wanted to. Each movement made my cock bounce and sway against me.

"Need…"

"I know, me too," he grunted. Thrusting hard and fast, he pounded into me. His hand left my hip and I felt it in my hair and then the silk blindfold drifted down my chest to the floor. "Watch us, Jasper. Watch me fuck you," he said nodding to the mirror over the dresser across the room.

Finally, I could see him. In the lighting, his skin looked paler than before, even his hair seemed lighter. And when he opened his eyes, for a split second, they were more green than blue. His strong legs pushed off the floor as he lifted himself into me, his large hands on my hips, his wide shoulders behind mine.

"Touch yourself, boy," he instructed, his eyes staring at the reflection of my cock.

Fucking finally able to relief the ache in my cock, I let go the arm of the chair, leaning a bit to the side and began stroking myself furiously. I had been seated on the precipice for so long, within two strokes, I felt my balls tightening.

"Gotta come," I warned and begged at the same time.

Splaying his fingers across my chest, he pulled me back to him, laying my back against his chest. My head fell back onto his shoulder, and I struggled to keep my eyes open to watch us in the mirror. I could see the urgent look in his aqua eyes, his dark hair damp with exertion. Our sweat-slickened bodies slid together while we both watched his thick, pink cock slide in and out of me.

"Look how fucking hot we are together, look at me in your tight ass," he growled as he pressed a kiss to my shoulder and worked his way up my neck. As I lay against him, stroking myself, watching us in the mirror, the warmth spread throughout me and I felt my cock pulse in my hand. "Come for me, Jasper," he groaned in desire.

As soon as the words were out, I came, crying out his name while my muscles flexed and my cock erupted, covering my chest in cum. As I slumped back against him, my hand, dripping with warm cum, loosened around my cock. My orgasm traveled through my body in little electric charges, not leaving any fiber untouched. He never slowed his thrusting when the spasms of my muscles gripped his cock tighter. Wrapping one arm around my middle, he held me to him and I felt his teeth bare down on my shoulder as he grunted and came in me, filling the condom, his cock jerking and twitching inside me.

"Fuck, Jasper," he sighed, releasing his hold on my shoulder. I could see the teeth marks in the mirror and realized I would need to cover them up before my next client. We lay still and silent for a few moments before he shifted me to the side to let his cock slide out. He peeled the condom off and tossed it on the floor. Then he pulled me back to him, his arms loosely wrapped around him. "Boy, I don't know what it is, but you are simply the best fuck."

Chuckling, I turned and kissed his cheek. "Mmm that was good, wasn't it?"

"Good, Jasper, is an understatement. Come on, let's go get cleaned up." He pushed me off him and stood up. Pulling me to him, he kissed me, our chests touching, spreading my cum onto us both.

After our shower, we lay in his bed similar to how we had been in the chair. His back against the headboard while I lay between his spread legs. My hands rested on his thighs, his were on my mine, his fingers drawing circles on my skin.

"Comfortable?" he asked.

"Very," I sighed happily. "Can I ask you something?"

"You know my rule," he stated simply. He had told me the first night I could ask him anything and he if felt too uncomfortable answering, he wouldn't.

"How did you know I would like that?" I asked, curious.

"The crop?"

"The crop, the blindfold, the mirror…"

"It's important in my business to be observant, that trait carries over into my personal life. I notice things about people, things they might not even know about themselves. I know what excites you and scares you. I know how far I can push you, and I know you like testing those limits. But…"

"But what?"

"I know you have a disturbing past. I won't ever push you to a place I don't feel you can go, and I won't push you too fast. We've got plenty of time."

"But what made you think I would enjoy it?"

"Same reason I knew you would like being tied up. On the streets, its all about control, you never had it. Your… _clients_," he chuckled, "directed what happened. So for you, it's about getting back some of that control, that pent up aggression has to come out somewhere."

_Riley._

"So I wanted to show you there is another way to give up control willingly and enjoy it at the same time." He squeezed me tight. "There is a place and time for that kind of thing. Sometimes we might do it, other times, not. Tonight, I felt like it was time to take the next step."

Turning my head, I reached up and pulled him to me for a long and passionate kiss.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"My turn to ask. How are things James, have you made any progress?"

"Define progress," I sighed.

"That bad?" I nodded against his chest and closed my eyes. "Tell me."

The night had been full of demands from him, all ones I had done voluntarily, but this was not a demand, it was a request. One I felt I could meet without much fear.

"I've paid him three thousand so far, but it goes up by two thousand a week. It was ten, then when I went to pay him two grand he had upped the amount to twelve. I just paid him another grand the other day but I had missed two weeks in between so, it's up to thirteen right now. It'll be fifteen next week. "

"Jesus Christ," he sighed. "Jasper, you know how hard it's going to be to pay it down? If you can't pay what he's tagging on each week, it's just going to keep going up."

Sadly, I nodded. "I don't have a choice though, I have to keep paying."

"Did he threaten you?"

"No," I answered quietly. He picked up on my hesitation.

"Someone else?"

"A friend on the streets. He and I have always kind of looked after each other."

"He's a hooker?"

"Yes."

Suddenly, he kissed my forehead, holding his lips there for a few seconds. "You, Jasper, are an honorable man. I know you frown on your career, but you've got a big heart. I hope this friend appreciates what you're doing for him."

_So much he tried to steal from me. _

"He doesn't know. I haven't told him. He knows I owe the money, but he doesn't know about the threat."

"I know you want to handle this yourself and I respect that, but my offer to help still stands."

"Think you could whip up a tornado and have a house fall on him?" I suggested.

His laugh was full and rich, his chest vibrating behind me. "Not sure I can do that, but I do have my ways," he finished, still laughing. "Have you had any more nightmares?"

"A few."

"Mmmm, shall I keep you awake all night so you don't have one tonight?" he half joked.

"Do you have work to do?"

"A bit. I can do it later though. Right now, I want to relax and enjoy your company."

"Honestly, I am surprised to be here midweek. "

"I was out of town the past week and a half and I was eager to get back and relieve some tension. If I had waited until the weekend, I would have exploded." He flipped me over so that I was kneeling between his legs and pulled me in for a kiss. "Mmmm, and, boy, you are the best kind of tension reliever ever invented."

We kissed until he grew hard under me, then I moved my mouth to his cock, sucking and licking and relieving tension until he was coming hot and thick into my throat.

When I woke up, I was alone in the dark bedroom. Naked, I padded out the main room and found him sitting naked at his desk, his laptop open. The vision was all too similar to waking up and finding Edward sitting naked at the piano only a few days earlier.

"Did I wake you?" he asked before I was even half way to him.

"No."

"Bad dream?"

"No, just lonely. Are you almost done?"

Reaching up, he closed the laptop and turned to me. I gasped.

He was wearing black rimmed glasses, the lenses seemed to intensify his eyes even more, making their unique color look even more surreal. Running a hand through his messy hair, he smiled at me.

"I am now," he winked and stood up. When he reached up to take the glasses off, I was in front him, my hand on his wrist stopping him.

"Please leave them on," I requested and he obliged. Taking his hand, I led him back to bedroom, ready to service him again.

As he lay down and pulled me on top of him, I focused on the feeling of his body under me, with me, and while mine responded with a quickening heartbeat and throbbing cock, I noticed something else as well.

The very distinct absence of the mysterious pull.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

M&A has been nominated at the Shimmer Awards for Cliffhanger (best angst)... you can read or nominate more..here (I'm thinking Best Lemon, Best AH, Best new Story... ;)

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	10. Courage and Brains and Heart

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-We got a bit more Jasper before we get back to Edward.

Warning: graphic sexual violence.

As of right now, all Jpov chapters will be written by me, and Epov will be expertly handled by Dannie (Domward's Mistress). All chapters will be posted on both of our profiles.

Our beta is overworked, underpaid and not available, so this chapter is unbeta'd, all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are Touchstone67's.

"**~~**"

Jpov~

Tossing the keys on the table, I kicked the door closed with my foot and dropped my gym bag on the floor before carrying the two grocery bags into the kitchen. After putting the food away, I made a sandwich and sat on the couch to eat and check email and my calendar. As I plugged my Blackberry into the computer to sync, it vibrated with a new text message.

It wasn't from Tanya.

No one else had my number. No one I knew made phone calls, or even had a phone. I mean, it wasn't like Riley was going to call me to chat. Fuck, if he wanted me, he just showed up at my doorstep. When I left the streets I should have known he was going to track me down.

Not that I entirely minded.

I had to admit, I liked fucking him in my bed. I liked hearing him scream my name, claw at my back with his nails and sink his teeth into my shoulder as he came. For as much as he had been fucked, he had one of the tightest asses I had ever had the pleasure of fucking. He had even put on some weight, giving me something to grip as I held his hips still while I slammed into him over and over. As my cock emptied into the condom, I reached down and grabbed his hair, yanking his head to me so I could kiss him, grunting into the kiss as my climax hit me in hard waves. When my cock slipped from his ass and I collapsed onto the bed, I looked at him and smiled with satisfaction when I saw his eyes half closed, his cum running down his side.

Yeah, I would never get tired of fucking Riley.

So much that when he climbed on top of me after a few minutes, I felt my cock twitch even as the last remnants of my orgasm still flowed through my body. He licked the mark he had left on my shoulder and murmured a 'sorry' into my ear as he began to grind his hips into mine.

"You're insatiable," I chuckled. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Umm, impossible to satisfy."

"Mmm," he moaned. "But, Jas, you _do_ satisfy me. Why do you think I always want more? You know how to fuck me like the good whore you are."

In one swift move, I flipped us over so he was under me and then I sat up and straddled him. Wrapping my fingers lightly around his throat, I licked my lips when he gave me a lazy smile.

"Now who's the whore?" I asked. His hands ran up my legs, to my semi-hard cock and he gripped it tightly and began stroking.

"Then fuck this whore," he challenged.

I did.

Three more times.

In my drowsy stated state, I had watched him sleep. Even for a brief few seconds, I imagined coming home to him after a long night of clients. He would greet me at the door dressed in nothing but an apron and have dinner cooked and a bath running just like I had seen wives do for their husbands on television.

But he wasn't my wife. He was a whore and a drug addict that walked the fine line of life and death every day.

And in the direction he was heading, it was only a matter of time before he stepped over that line.

Curious, I clicked on the message and gasped when I read it.

_Can't wait to see you again ~ Edward_

I glanced at the number and Googled the area code.

Chicago.

Edward Cullen had text me. My heart raced and that strange pull instantly reappeared in my stomach. It had taken almost a week until it had faded enough that I barely felt it. And as I stared at those few words, it was back, as strong as it had been when I had been in his suite…in his bed.

My fingers hovered over the little black keys, unsure how to respond. Or if I should even respond. I wasn't sure if contact with clients outside of appointments was allowed by the service. Finally, I slowly typed my response.

_How did you get my number?_

He responded only seconds later.

_When you were sleeping, I got it from your phone so I could reach you whenever I wanted. ~Edward_

Even though there was some sensitive shit on my Blackberry, I didn't panic because security software had been installed on it when Tanya had given it to me. When she had handed it to me, she just expected I knew how to use a cell phone. Embarrassed, I had to admit that I had never used one and she sat down and walked me through the basics and features. She taught me how to sync it with the computer, access and use the calendar, messages and email. She had also explained that given the sensitivity of the information and need for confidentiality that there was software that kept messages, email, contacts, and calendar password protected as well as security software that allowed you to remotely wipe the data off the phone should it get lost or stolen. The software allowed me to have peace of mind if someone got my phone.

Or looked at it while I was sleeping.

Biting my lip, I debated on my reply but before I could begin typing, another arrived.

_Now you have my number too ~ Edward_

But what was I supposed to do with it? Call him and have phone sex?

My heart skipped at the thought.

Images of Edward sitting at his desk in his office, dressed in a suit, shirt untucked, belt and pants undone, as he reached under the waistband of his briefs and began to….

Shaking my head, I finally typed back.

_When are you coming to Seattle again?_

He was lightening fast, his reply was almost instantaneous.

_I was supposed to fly in on Sunday but I'm booking a flight for Friday. I've sent in a request to the service to have you for Friday and Saturday night. Am waiting for confirmation. ~ E_

_Both Friday and Saturday?_ I replied, my heart past the skipping and onto the racing.

_Yes, I was hoping you could show me around on Saturday? ~ E_

What the fuck was I going to show him? Sure I had lived there for a bit over two years, but my knowledge of Seattle was limited to the seedy streets, back alleys and docks. I don't think the crack houses where the addicts slept off their high before going out to score more shit were exactly what he had in mind.

My other dilemma was spending time with him outside of the bedroom. That meant conversation and a fucking lot of it. Anything outside of sex was outside of my comfort zone, even my conversations with Peter had taken place while we were naked and in bed, and if I had to distract him, all I had to do was let my hand wander under the sheets and seconds later, he forgot what we were talking about and was using his mouth on my body.

For me, holding a conversation outside of sex was like Dorothy being out of Kansas.

What the fuck was I going to talk to Edward about when we weren't in bed? I would have to be sure to steer him away from questions about my past and family. Telling someone your mother threw you from the first story window when you were four because she was so high she thought you could fly was not a good conversation starter. Neither was 'Oh, by the way, I was raped for six years. How was your childhood?'

_Sure. Anything specific you want to see?_

Please say yes.

_Besides you naked in bed? ~ E_

I grinned like a fucking schoolgirl at that message right before the images of Edward's naked, sweaty body below me as I entered him hit me.

_Yes, besides that._

_Your city, you decide, as long as we end up in bed ~ E_

Exactly what I had feared.

_Great, see you Friday night. Want me to bring my bag again?_

_Yes, please bring the bag. See you then ~ E_

Connecting the phone to the laptop, I began to sync them. While it ran, I went back to Google and began searching for things to see and do in Seattle. As I clicked through the links, I realized how little I knew about Seattle. There were museums and tours, all rich in history and culture.

Exactly what some rich guy from Chicago would enjoy.

I began to bookmark a few sites, planning to revisit them for more details as his weekend approached. Beginning to get anxious at the thought of having to entertain him outside of the bedroom, I closed the laptop and checked the time.

With a couple of hours before I had to get ready for my client that night, I put the laptop on the table and lay back on my couch.

"_Don't say a fucking word or I'll make it hurt even more, hear me?"_

_Even though my face was stuffed into the pillow and his hand was pressing on the back of my head, I nodded. As one of his clammy hands went to my pants, I felt him grab the cotton covered elastic and yank it down over my ass. A rush of cool air brushed over my bare skin and the first tear fell from my eyes onto the pillow below me. _

_I had known the day was coming. He had warned me several times over the past month or so. Telling me as my mouth was around his dick that he couldn't wait to sink it deep into my ass. His dirty fingers would touch my curls as he looked down at me, telling me what a sweet mouth I had and he knew my ass would be even better. One day, I had been brave enough to ask him why he had chosen me and he told me it was my blue eyes and dimples. _

_I stared at the mirror for hours later that night wondering how I could get rid of my blue eyes and dimples. _

_Three years older than me, he had had one other boy before me but when he had left, Ian had been left to his hand until the day I walked through the big wooden doors. _

_He shifted his weight on me and then suddenly I felt his hard cock against my ass. Moaning, he began to slide it against me, between my cheeks as his hips rocked back and forth. I felt his precum on my flesh just as his knees tried to force my clamped legs apart. _

"_Fucking spread your legs," he huffed in my ear, his breath hot and stinky. Shaking my head, I locked my legs tighter. I wasn't going to make raping me any easier for him. When his fingers wrapped around my neck and he began to squeeze, I gasped for air. "Fucking spread your legs or I'll beat the shit out of you," he repeated. Remembering the last time he had hit me, the bruises and aching chest when I took a breath. I had only refused to kiss him. I couldn't imagine how much it would hurt if refused to let him fuck me. I squirmed under his weight trying to do as he had asked, but my pants stopped me from spreading them too far. _

"_Shit," he mumbled, and was forced to release me so he could kneel and pull my pants and underwear off, leaving them hanging off one foot. Then he pulled my shirt up my back to my shoulders. _

_Beneath him I lay almost completely naked. I felt him move and then saw his shirt fall to the floor, when he lay back down on me, we were flesh to flesh. His body odor was strong as he returned his hand to the back of my head. I heard him spit and then felt him reach down and stroke himself between my legs. When his cock rubbed against me again it was slick and wet. _

_With his hand on his cock, he moved his hips forward until I felt him at my entrance. _

"_Please," I whispered desperately. _

"_What'd you say? You begging for it?" he hissed he pushed a bit further. "Gonna be so tight." _

_Shaking my head as best as I could, I repeated, "Please don't put it in me. I'll do anything else but please don't put it in me." _

"_Shut the fuck up," he moaned as he slowly forced his way into my ass. My muscles burned as they were being ripped and stretched beyond their limits. "Mmmm," he moaned and suddenly thrust his hips into me. I whimpered into the pillow, cries escaping me as he began to pump in and out of me. My ass was on fire, the burn spreading through my body rapidly. Once he set a rhythm, he pushed himself up on to the palms of his hands to get better leverage. _

"_Better keep your mouth shut," he warned me as he continuously thrust into me. "Tight ass just like I thought," he gasped. The tears flowed freely from my eyes, soaking my pillow as I muffled the sobs while the pain and humiliation overwhelmed me. He put on hand on my shoulder and the other on the back of my head, forcing me to breath in the stench of my pillow. The pain increased as he began to slam into me faster and faster. "Yeah, that's it, let me fuck you," he whispered. _

_After what seemed like hours, his hips bucked and then he grunted and fell onto me as I felt his cock jerk and erupt inside of me. Breathing heavy in my ear, he lay on top of me until his softening cock slid from my sore ass, trailing his cum in its path. _

"_Now you're mine," he murmured in my ear. "Say anything to anyone and you'll regret it. I'm not the only one in here that does this, but trust me, I'm the nicest. You tell anyone and it'll get a lot worse for you." Climbing off me, he pulled up his pants and grabbed his shirt. Then he kneeled down next to my bed, his face even with mine. "I'll be back for more tomorrow, Jasper." _

_Then he was gone._

_Gasping, I reached down for my pants, desperately wanting to cover up, and slowly pulled them up. My lower body burned with each movement and I felt his cum seeping from me as I rolled onto my back and pulled my shirt down. _

_Wiping my eyes, I vowed to myself to not cry again. I didn't care what he did to me, I wasn't going to let weakness show. No one wanted to adopt a crybaby. I rolled to my side, inhaling sharply as pain radiated around my hips. _

_I had known the day was coming._

_I was twelve years old and no longer a virgin._

The alarm went off and I bolted upright on the couch.

"Fuck," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair as I put my elbows on my knees and took a few deep breaths to calm my heart rate. Groaning at the time, I sighed and headed for the shower. I only had one client that night and was looking forward to getting home early for once. I took a quick shower, towel dried my hair and dressed in graphic tee shirt and jeans as requested by the client, put on my leather jacket, grabbed my bag and headed out the door.

Aro was standing by the car when I walked up to him.

"Evening, sir," he greeted as he opened the door for me.

"Evening, Aro," I returned as I climbed into the back seat, tossing my bag on the floor. He got in the driver's seat and shifted into drive.

"Early night for you," he commented. I nodded and settled back into the seat for the ride. Over an hour later, I realized we were on a very dark, thin road, barely big enough for the car to drive down.

"Aro?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Where are we?"

"A reservation, sir."

"Reservation? Like…Indians?" I had an appointment with Sitting Bull?

"Native Americans, sir, yes."

"How the hell do you know where you're going?" I asked, looking around for street signs, or anything to give any hint as to where the hell we were.

"It's my job, sir. Like you, I am a professional," he winked in the mirror. "We're almost there."

Shortly after, we pulled up in front of a small single story ranch house, or more of a shack really, with red peeling paint and an overgrown lawn. Aro parked and got out to open my door, the car looking a bit out of place in front of such a house.

"See you in an hour?" I asked as I got out and he closed the door behind me.

"In an hour, sir," he said as he walked back around the car and I headed up the driveway to the house. The cement step was cracked under my feet as I knocked and waited. After I knocked again, I heard some shuffling behind the door.

When it opened, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Standing before me was a boy with dark skin and black hair long enough to skim his shoulders. His large, bright eyes were almost black and looked me over quickly. He was dressed similar to me in a plain tee shirt and baggy, ripped jeans.

"Seth?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Nodding, he stepped aside and let me in before closing the door behind me. The house was well lived in, the furniture used and worn, pictures of a family hung on the walls. There was a kitchen toward the back and a family room to the left. Shifting from one large bare foot to the other, he just stood in front of me looking as anxious as hell.

He had never hired an escort before.

"Umm, are we going to fuck in the hallway or do you have another location in mind?" I asked searching for something to have sex on. I mean, I would do it against a wall, but assumed he might prefer a more comfortable surface, and honestly, I wasn't sure those wall would remain standing after a good fucking.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbled. "This way." He turned, leading us down a hall to a bedroom on the left. Walking into the room, he waited for me to enter before he closed the door behind me.

"Are we alone?" I asked, setting my bag down.

Staring at his feet, he replied quietly, "My parents are on vacation."

"Parents?" I asked and glanced around the small room. A laptop sat on computer desk, a small stack of video games was on the floor by his bed, a pile of laundry by the closet door, and pictures of him with a few girls, his sisters I assumed, were on the nightstand. The single lamp on in the corner gave the room a warm glow. Then I saw the books on the bed, biology and calculus.

As I unzipped my jacket and slid it off, I studied him more closely. He was thin, but not as much as I had seen on the streets, he had full lips and a natural flush to his cheeks that darkened when he chanced a glance at me.

His jeans and tee shirt weren't designer and he lived in a small run-down. He was a blue-collar kid, so how the hell did he afford five hundred dollars for me?

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen," he replied, lifting his chin defiantly.

"Bullshit," I smirked. "You're not a day over seventeen."

Living on the streets, I had learned to read people pretty well, it was a survival instinct. Only on the streets, I didn't care how old or young someone was as long as they paid me. But with the service, there was a strict no under eighteen clients allowed.

"I'm nineteen, I'm in college, just home for a few days."

"Oh really?" I asked as looked around the room. "Then why is all your shit here? Video games, clothes?" Silently, his eyes followed mine as I skimmed the room for more evidence of his age.

"Where do you go to college?"

His eyes widened at my question.

I put my jacket back on and bent over to get my bag.

"Wait," he cried out, stopping me but when I looked up, he just looked away. My heart ached for him a bit. He was a good looking kid, he could probably get laid by anyone.

"Listen, I'm sorry but it's against the rules, you have to be eighteen to hire an escort."

I turned and reached for the door but he was behind me, his hand covering mine on the knob.

"Please, just listen," he begged. Releasing the handle I turned back to him. "My parents are visiting my mom's sister in Tacoma for the weekend. They don't know I'm gay. I've never had a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend and …well everyone else on the reservation has had sex and I want to too. This was the only thing I could think of to do so that the entire reservation doesn't find out I'm gay."

"You're a virgin?"

Blushing so heavily it was visible under his dark skin, he nodded.

I took his hand and led him to the bed and sat down. "Seth, do you really want your first time to be with an escort? Your first time should be with someone you love, not with someone you hire."

At least that's what I had heard.

"I don't want to wait any longer. I want to do it, and I saw the website and picked you because you were hot and," he paused, keeping his eyes on his hands in his lap. "…you… looked nice."

I thought back to my first time, how Ian had violated me late one night, taking me without lube or condom, grunting as he came in me and then leaving me there, naked and alone while he went back to his bed and went to sleep. While I doubted Seth would suffer the same fate I had, he deserved his first time to be better than mine was.

Fuck, everyone deserved a good first time.

"Just this once. And you can't call the service and order one of us again, okay? At least not until you're eighteen."

Eager to agree, he nodded, his eyes still focused on his lap.

"So, how old are you really?" I asked as I stood and undid my jacket again.

"Seventeen," he admitted quietly. Smiling, I slid my jacket off and set it on the floor.

"So, you just want to fuck?" I asked, immediately regretting my words when he looked shocked at my forwardness. Twisting his fingers in his lap, he shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry. What have you done, physically I mean?"

"Nothing," he mumbled.

"Kissed?" I asked and he shook his head, his long hair swinging over his shoulders. "Well, let's start there then," I said and sat down on the bed next to him. Putting a hand on his shoulder, I slid it up behind his neck and pulled him toward me. At first I felt his apprehension, his body tensing as I whispered, "Relax."

When my lips met his, he sighed contentedly. Slowly, I lightly brushed my lips back and forth across his until I felt the muscles in his neck begin to relax under my touch. I took his hand from his lap and brought it up to my neck and took his other and placed it high on my thigh. When I pressed my tongue against his lips seeking entrance, he opened them immediately, gasping as our tongues met for the first time. The hand behind my neck traveled into my hair and he fisted it tightly. For a few long moments, I kissed him, letting him deepen it and pull back only to feel him eager to deepen it again. He explored my lips and my mouth enthusiastically and when I felt him relax into my touch even more, I began to let my hands roam his body. Sliding one hand up his jeans to his crotch, I let my thumb graze his contained erection and smiled into the kiss when he jumped. Breaking the kiss, he pulled back and glanced down at my hand.

"Did you like that?" Shyly, he nodded. "Ready for more?" I asked, applying a little pressure to his crotch. Not moving his eyes, he nodded again. "Stand up."

He did as I asked and I stood with him, taking the hem of his tee shirt in my hands I pulled it up over his head and his arms protectively folded across his chest. I took them and forced down to his sides.

"You have a sexy body, don't be ashamed of it." I kissed his collarbone and felt his entire body shudder. Kneeling to undo his jeans, I pulled them down to his feet. I was impressed at the size of the cock that tented his boxers. Nuzzling my nose against it, I inhaled his scent before I pulled his underwear down, freeing his hard on. I could tell he wanted to cover himself. The room was silent except for his heavy breaths as leaned back and admired him. His body was wiry but with toned definition in his abdomen and chest. A few more years and he was going go fill out quite nicely. I kissed his hip and then made my way up his chest to his nipples, taking one into my mouth, I nibbled and lapped it. With my hands on his ass, he arched his back into me, his cock seeking any friction it could find. Releasing him, I stood straight and pulled my tee shirt off. It was barely over my head when his hands were on me, feeling my chest and stomach. Giving him a dimpled grin, I toed off my sneakers, unbuttoned my jeans and then stopped.

"Take them off me," I told him. At my instruction, he dropped to his knees like an alter boy and put his hands on the waistband. Rubbing my hands up and down my chest, I watched him as he lowered my jeans, wasting no time before he was tugging my boxer briefs down as well. Semi-hard, my cock twitched when his breath washed over it. When he stood up, I pulled him into a kiss again, letting him feel our completely naked bodies together while I stepped out of my pants. For the first time, I put my hand around his cock, his hips bucked into my grip and he moaned. Feeling his excitement in my hand, I fell to my knees. He stared at me, his hair falling over his shoulders shielding his view a bit.

"Move your hair, I want you to watch," I told him and shaking his head back, his hair slid over his shoulders. I held his cock in one hand while I dragged the flat of my tongue up the underside of his cock and then down both sides, pulling back his foreskin, I licked the sensitive flesh under it.

"Oh my God," he cried out when his cock entered my mouth for the first time. I bobbed my head once down his length, sucking hard along the way. Watching him through my lashes, I saw his eyes hooded with desire and felt his hands in my hair, holding my head gently. When I released him after only a few seconds, he looked disappointed. Smirking, I flicked my tongue at the tip of his head before swirling it around the ridge and finally dipping into the slit. A long groan escaped from deep in his chest and I took him in my mouth again, relaxing my throat, I took him all in, letting him thrust at will.

"Oh my God, oh my God, fuck, oh my God," he grunted as he came in my mouth, his hot fluid easily sliding down my throat while I swallowed around him, delaying his pleasure as long as possible. His hips continued to buck as his cock pulsed endlessly. Releasing him, I quickly stood up and kissed him, opening my mouth and forcing my tongue into his so he could taste himself. He willingly kissed back, moaning as he rubbed his softening erection against me.

The entire blow job had lasted less than a minute.

Out of breath, he broke the kiss, keeping his eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry," he apologized quietly.

"For what?" I asked, running my hands through his long, silky hair.

"I didn't last very long."

I put my fingers under his chin and forced his eyes to mine. "No one does their first blow job. You'll last longer next time, and the time after that."

"But now I'm not hard for…" he stopped, his cheeks so red they must have felt hot to the touch.

"Fucking?" He bit his lip. "You can't do it if you can't say it, Seth," I teased. Running a hand down his chest, I let it travel around his back to his ass and then around to his cock, gripping it lightly. "Besides, you're seventeen," I began, stroking him, "you get hard just thinking about paper," I explained as I left opened mouth kisses along his neck and jaw while continuing to stroke him.

"When you feel how hard I am for you, when you remember how good my mouth felt on your dick, you will get…" His cock twitched in my hand. "Hard again." Already lengthening, I continued to stroke him until his hips were pushing against my embrace. "How about we move to the bed?" I suggested and guided him backward to his bed. Laying him down on the comforter, I pushed the books to the floor and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

"Stroke me," I commanded while taking his hand and putting it on my cock. Instinctively, his fingers wrapped tightly around me. "Mmm, that's it." Hesitantly and with jerky, awkward movements he began pumping his fist up and down my cock. It grew with each stroke until it was hard and thick and seeping precum.

His eyes never left my cock in his hand. "It's beautiful," he sighed at one point. Experimentally, he moved his hand around, trying different ways, swiping his thumb over my head, and when I lolled my head back at the gesture, he inhaled sharply. Gaining confidence at my body's reaction to his attentions, he began to stroke faster, gripping me tightly, even letting his other hand touch my balls. He took one in his hand and rolled it between his fingers, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he watched his hands on me. "Does it feel okay?" he asked, finally bringing his eyes to mine.

"Feels wonderful," I admitted before putting my hand on his and stopping him when I felt his erection rubbing against my ass. "Do you want to taste it?"

Nodding, he put his hands by his side as I slid up his body until my cock was at his lips. Using his headboard for leverage, I moved forward and angled myself toward his mouth before reaching down with my hand to his head, lifting it to my cock. When he realized what I was trying to do, he moved up and took me into his mouth. With one hand on his head, I guided myself into him, letting him get the feeling of a cock in his mouth for the first time before I tugged on his hair. Groaning, I entered his mouth and felt his rough tongue lap me. Not wanting to gag him, I moved my hips slightly so just the head of my cock slipped between his full lips.

"That's it. Now suck," I said. He nodded and tightened his lips around me, the suction of his moist mouth felt fantastic. "Mmm, perfect." A minute later I pulled out and moved back down to his hips. "Taste good?"

"Salty," he smiled bashfully, "how was it?"

"You did great, the more you do it, the better you'll get. Giving head can be just as good as getting it." I smiled at him and then asked the big question. "Do you want to fuck me or want me to fuck you?"

Resting his hands on my thighs, he considered my words, his eyes watching my cock twitch. Licking lips, he said, "I want you to…"

"To what?" I encouraged, "Say it."

"Fuck me," he blurted out. There might have been a dark scarlet staining his cheeks but the look in his eyes told me he knew exactly what he wanted.

"Good boy," I smiled and moved off him to get my bag. I put a few condoms on the table and grabbed the lube. "Always use lube and condoms, Seth. Don't fuck anyone, or let them fuck you, without them. Okay? Ever," I told him with a serious tone. "There are too many risks and a fuck, no matter how good or how much you want it, is never worth your health."

"Okay," he agreed as he watched me pour some lube onto my fingers. Lying down next to him, I took one of his nipples into my mouth, licking around it while my hand went to his cock and his hips lifted off the bed. Brushing the back of my fingers over his cock, I cupped his balls and tugged on them before rolling them in my hand. "Oh God," he moaned. Below his balls, my finger sought his entrance and I teased it, circling around it before pressing into it with my middle finger.

I lifted my head from his chest. "I'm going to use my fingers to get you ready, stretch you out a bit so my cock will fit. It's going to feel uncomfortable at first, but it shouldn't hurt," I explained as I gently pushed my finger forward. His legs spread wider for me and I began to slide my finger in and out of him. When he had adjusted, I added a second finger and felt him groan. "Your prostate is very sensitive, if someone hits it with their finger or cock, it feels incredible." I left my fingers in him, moving them around until he arched off the bed.

"Holy shit," he yelled out as he pressed his pelvis down onto my hand, wanting me deeper. Rubbing his prostate again, he groaned and moved his hips in a circle, grinding my fingers into him as I continued to plunge them into his hole. "Oh my God," he sighed as he reached and down and began to touch himself, quickly pumping his cock. Putting my other hand on his, I removed his hand.

"Not yet. Wait until I'm in you for that." Instead his hands went to his bedspread, fisting it as he wantonly pushed against my fingers, his head thrashing side to side. "I think you're ready for me." I pulled my fingers out and reached for the condoms. He watched me intently as I ripped the package open and slid the condom down my cock. "Never use oil, always a water-based or silicone lube, okay? Oil eats the condoms," I explained when I saw him watching me. "Now, I think it's best to do this with you on your back so I can watch your reactions and control the depth easier," I said I as moved between his spread legs. Gripping his knees, I lifted his legs and pressed the head of my cock against his hole. "You sure you want to do this? I'm not going to lie, it's going to hurt, but I promise it gets better."

"Yeah," he replied nervously. Gently, I pushed forward, my cock barely entering him. "Oh shit," he cried out as the head eased past the tight ring of his muscles. Through clenched teeth he hissed and I paused, waiting for him to adjust. "It really hurts," he said, his voice shaking.

"I know, but it will get better, I promise." I ran my hand up and down his side. "Do you want me to stop?"

His breath was shallow but he shook his head. "No, keep going."

I reached for his cock and took it in my hand, stroking him. "Feel better? It's easier if you relax. Take a few deep breaths, relax your muscles." As I touched his cock, I felt his muscles release around me and I immediately pushed forward. Inch by inch I entered him, pausing to let him feel me before continuing. Finally completely sheathed in him, I began to let myself enjoy the sensation of his tight virgin ass around my cock, squeezing it as he tensed and relaxed, so warm and silky. "Fuck you feel so good," I groaned. "I'm going to start to move, if you want me to stop, let me know."

Stroking his cock, I began to languidly thrust into him, pulling almost all the way out before sinking back into his warmth again. "You okay?" I asked as he closed his eyes and his hands gripped the blanket so tight his knuckles were turning white. "Look at me," I requested, and he opened his eyes. "Watch me, watch me fuck you, Seth. Don't think about the pain, concentrate on how good my cock is in your ass."

While I spoke, I saw his eyes darken, his tongue licked his lips.

He was starting to enjoy it.

"Yeah, that's It, baby, feel me fill you up. My cock is so hard in you." I quickened my pace a bit as my body's desire began to overtake the need to go slow. When I hit his prostate, he arched off the bed. "See, feels good, doesn't it?"

"Fuck yes, feels fucking… fucking…" he stopped, his mind unable to comprehend the sensations his body was producing.

"Seth, I want you to touch yourself, stroke yourself for me." Even though he didn't acknowledge my instructions, his hand went to his cock and he began to stroke feverishly, his body craving another release. I could feel his hand brushing against the taunt muscles of my stomach as his hand pumped his cock in effort to reach his orgasm. "That's it, stroke your hard cock. Mmmm… Your ass is so tight, baby, makes me want to come so hard." I leaned forward and kissed him, deep and hard, groaning into the kiss he reached up with his hand and gripped my hair, keeping my lips fused to his. When I pulled away, I put my forehead to his, enjoying the look of bliss on his face as my cock continued to sink into him. "You like me fucking you, don't you, baby?"

"Yeah…it still hurts, but it feels better." Moving back to my knees, I greedily lifted his legs more and began to earnestly thrust into him. "You wanna come, Seth?"

"Yes, yes…come…wanna come," he repeated. Keeping my pace even, I took his hand from his cock and replaced it with my own, stroking him in time with my thrusts, palming the head of his cock each time. "Oh fuck, oh fuck… fucking….com-" he screamed as his cock erupted in my hand, I stilled as my cock was squeezed by the spasms of his ass and he shot his load onto his chest in long streams. Sporadically his body jerked under me as he rode out his second orgasm until he was writhing, his hips pushing against mine. Leisurely, I began to move again, enticing his climax to last as long as possible. When his body finally went limp, I pulled out of him and pulled the condom off. It took a few moments before he noticed I wasn't in him anymore.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pushing up onto both elbows.

Running a hand up his leg, I smiled at him. "Nothing, baby, just enjoying watching you come." His eyes looked away as he blushed and suddenly felt very vulnerable naked and covered in cum. Placing my hands on both sides of him, I leaned down and licked some cum off his stomach, feeling his muscles tremble.

"Fucking, oh, my God," he whispered, watching me. Moving up to his mouth, I kissed him, once again my tongue entering to share his taste. He responded instantly, his body impatiently seeking mine, his hands going to my hair as he angled his head and deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring and twisting with mine.

Moaning into the kiss, I pulled back and lay my body on him. "You're a quick learner," I winked and lay my head on his chest. "Touch me, feel my body, Seth." The words barely left my mouth and his hands were on my back, feeling every muscle, every inch of flesh as he grazed and groped me.

He spoke without prompting. "Feels so good to touch you," he said. "Better than I imagined."

I lifted my head and looked at him. "Yeah? Did you masturbate to my pictures, Seth?" Blushing more than he had ever had when he realized what he had admitted, he turned away. "Your blush is beautiful. You have such nice skin," I sighed, tracing his arm with my fingers.

"Can I…can I stillmasturebatetoyou?"

"Of course. I would be honored. Look at those pictures and think of this night. Remember how good I felt in you." I kissed the tip of his nose and glanced at the clock.

"Time is up, isn't it?" he asked with a sad sigh.

Yes, it was.

I had less than five minutes to get dressed and get out of there.

Instead, I looked back at him and kissed him. "I don't have any place else to be and you got lucky. This week is buy one hour, get one free," I lied.

"Really?" he asked, suddenly animated.

"Really." My mind reeled with what to tell Aro.

"That's great because…um… because you haven't…you know…yet," he stammered, the blush returning.

"Come?"

"Well…yeah," his hands constantly touched and explored me intimately while his eyes refused to meet mine.

"You can say it, Seth. It's not a bad thing, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I want to make you come," he said confidently. "How can I make you come?"

"See, that wasn't so hard was it? The way you said it too, mmmm so hot," I began taking his dark skin between my lips and sucking. "Do you want to fuck me, Seth? Because I want to feel your cock in me."

"Oh shit," he gasped, his hands stopping. "You want me to…f… fuck you?"

Smiling against his neck when he said the words without my encouragement, I nodded. "Yes, I want you to fuck me very much. I want to come when you're in me so you can feel how incredible it is when someone comes. Would you like that? Would you do that for me?"

"Y….ye…yessss," he moaned as I circled my hips deliberately, rubbing my cock against his, hoping his raging teenage hormones would kick in. His hands went to my ass and he kept me tightly to him. "Feels good," he sighed.

"You think this feels good, wait until you're inside me."

"Fuck," he moaned at the thought. When I felt his cock twitch against mine, I continued.

The boy liked dirty talk.

"Your thick cock will be in me, my tight ass squeezing you as you go deeper and deeper. Making me scream and come."

Gradually, his cock became hard between us, but I knew if he had come in under a minute with a blowjob, there was no way he would last long once he was in me. I had to be on the edge before he even entered me so he could feel me come around him. Moving off him, I kneeled next to him. Lazily, I began touching myself, letting my hands skim my body, I pinched my nipples and let my chin drop to my chest.

"Touch me, Seth," I demanded in a husky tone. I had been hard for almost an hour, I was ready to come. With more confidence than before, he reached out and gripped my cock, his long fingers holding me tightly. "More," I moaned, sliding my hand down to my balls to play with them. Taking my hint, he let his other hand touch my sac and when I spread my legs to give him more access, he moved closer.

"Can I taste them?" he asked timidly.

"Fuck, yes," I grinned. "Why don't you move down here and let me straddle you." He twisted his lithe body until his head was between my legs, his arms wrapped around my thighs as I lowered myself onto his face. Muffled moans escaped him when he took one of my balls into his mouth without hesitation.

The boy definitely knew what he wanted.

Resisting the urge to grind against his face, I played with my nipples and stroked my cock as he sucked the tender skin of my balls enthusiastically. When I felt my body tensing, I stopped stroking.

"It's time," I said. "How do you want me?"

"I have a choice?" he said, sitting up, the pink tip of his erection peeking out from his dark foreskin.

"Your choice," I nodded. "On my back, my stomach, my knees, all fours, sitting on you…"

Long dark lashes framed his deep brown eyes as they shined with excitement and possibility. After a moment of consideration for him and frustration for me, he looked up thoughtfully.

"Which one feels the best?" he asked, curious.

Smiling, I winked at him. "They all feel amazing, trust me. But being your first time, how about I get on my back so you can watch me come while you're in me?"

"Okay," he agreed and let me get into position on my back before him. Once I was on my back, he moved between my legs and looked at my ass. "Now what?"

"Remember what I told you?"

He thought of a minute and then his eyes widened and he reached for a condom and the lube.

"Which one first?"

"Put some lube on your fingers, and put them in me," I said lifting my hips invitingly. With slick fingers, he spread my ass.

"Does it matter which finger?"

"No, but the middle one works best, it's the longest and can reach the prostate, but you can use two…or three," I offered. Taking my advice, he slipped his middle finger into my hole slowly. "You can go faster," I encouraged and felt him add a second and I began to thoroughly enjoy his fingers fucking me.

"Does it feel alright?" he asked in panting breaths.

"Mmmmm," I moaned, "yes, I'm ready."

Pulling his fingers from me, he grabbed a condom and tried to open it but his fingers kept slipping on the wrapper.

"Can I use my teeth?" he asked, desperate to be inside me. I took the condom from him and ripped it open.

"No, your teeth might rip the condom. Watch me put it on you," I told him as I grabbed his cock and put the condom on. "Leave some room at the end for your cum, but pull it down to the base so it doesn't fall off. For your cock, you are going to need extra large ones to be sure they fit all the way. Once it's on, put more lube on," I instructed and waited for him to slicken his cock. "Ready?"

Nodding, he bit his lip. I reached down and grabbed my behind my knees, lifting them up and out for him. With one hand on his cock, he positioned himself at my entrance and then glanced up at me. A beautiful blush covered his cheeks as his hair fell over his face and he unhurriedly entered me, the restraint he possessed surprised me.

"Holy fucking shit," he moaned as he pushed past the muscle, deeper into me. When he saw me flinch, he stopped. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"Keep going," I reached down and began stroking myself. Looking up at him, I begged, "Fuck me, Seth."

"Shit, fuck…' he groaned. "Feels so fucking tight…" He immediately began to thrust into me, his large cock tapping my prostate. The corded muscles in my neck strained as I lifted my head off the mattress to watch his cock enter me.

It was fucking hot.

Taking his virginity and giving him a good fuck.

Sometimes I loved my fucking job.

"Harder," I gasped, my hand like a piston on my cock, precum liberally leaking from the slit. He answered my request by letting his instincts take over, grabbing my hips and slamming into me, the bed banged the wall behind my head and the springs squeaked with his efforts. My balls tightened and I felt the warmth begin to spread.

"Coming," I warned him before calling out his name. "Seth, oh my God, Seth," I screamed for him as my entire body tensed and then my cock pulsed and jerked as thick bursts shot from me, landing on my chest and hand. After over an hour of edging, I released long and hard, loving his huge cock in me while I came around him. Grunting as each wave of my orgasm hit me, my body contracted around him and he let out a low growl and came hard, his overused and tired cock erupted what cum he had left into the condom. Finally sated, I fell back onto the bed, letting my legs spread as he collapsed on top of me.

It had been the shortest fuck I had ever had, but what he lacked in time he had more than made up for with size and technique.

"Do you have something we can use to clean up?" I chuckled. Climbing off me, he reached under his bed and pulled out a towel. Raising an eyebrow when he gave it to me, he explained.

"For when I…" he paused and took a deep breath, "masturbate." Proudly smiling up at him, I wiped my chest and stomach off before moving to do his, pleased at the way his muscles shuddered under my touch.

"Take the condom off, be sure to pinch it at the end," I motioned to his cock, still sheathed and slathered in lube. He took it off and tossed it in the trash near his desk and then came back to the bed just as I moved to sit up. He sat next to me, his head hanging in shame. "What's wrong?"

Had I hurt him, broken him, pushed him too far for his first time?

"I just… can't believe I came so fast. My first fuck and I lasted all of five minutes."

He was pretty accurate on the time.

"I wanted to show you I could do it," he sighed and closed his eyes. I put a hand on his thigh.

"It was perfect," I admitted.

With hope, he lifted his head. "Yeah?"

"Definitely. You find yourself a nice boyfriend, he will love that huge cock of yours and I'm sure you will get lots of practice."

His voice was so quiet I almost didn't hear him. "I wanna practice on you." His head was hanging again, his hair completely shielding his face from me. Pushing the long, silky strands behind his ear, I put my fingers under his chin and forced his head up.

"You deserve so much better than me." Puling from my grasp, he stood up and went to his dresser. When he turned around he had a camera in his hand.

"Can I take your picture?"

"Naked?"

"Yeah."

"Sure," I agreed, sprawling out onto the bed. He walked around the bed, taking my picture at many different angles, even posing me a few times. After about twenty pictures, he sat on the bed.

"Can I get one of us together?" I didn't answer. Instead, I slung my arm around his shoulder and leaned my head toward his and grinned up toward the camera as he held it out from us. He clicked a few times and just before the last one, I turned his head to me and kissed him just as the flash went off. Cupping his face in my hands, I parted my lips and invited him in. He moaned and tilted his head even more, his tongue fervent in twisting with mine. Breaking the kiss, I reached for his camera.

"Can you show them to me?" I asked. He smiled and clicked a few buttons and then I saw myself lying on his bed in various positions until there were the ones of us both. He was beautiful, russet skin in contrast to my own vampire paleness, his black hair to my honey blond, his dark intense eyes to my faded blue.

We were night and day.

Even in the way we lost our virginity.

"You're beautiful," I sighed. "Do you take a lot of pictures?"

"Yeah, it's kinda a hobby of mine."

"Well, you're great, you've got a future in it."

"I want to go to art school, but not sure my parents will like that."

"Why not?"

His fingers played with the buttons on his camera as he spoke. "I live on a reservation, and the elders don't like it when you move off it. Hell, most of my friends have dropped out of school already. None of them plan on going to college. They are content to just stay here and do nothing with their lives. Once you get in with them, it's hard to get out, they're like a pack of wolves."

"You got to do what is going to make you happy, not them. If you want art school, then go to art school. You've obviously got talent."

He looked up at me and gave me a weak smile, but his eyes lit up the longer he stared at me.

"I think I love you," he suddenly blurted out, swallowing hard. Normally, I would have laughed if someone had said that to me, but there in the silent room with his everyday teenage life surrounding us, I smiled and even fucking blushed at his honesty.

Reaching up, I stroked his cheek with my thumb. "Aw, Seth, this isn't love. It's just sex and while it feels incredible, it's not love. Love feels different."

"How?"

"I'm not sure, but I know it does."

"Have you ever been in love?" he asked, getting up to put his camera away.

"Not yet," I answered truthfully.

"But someday you will," he said as he pulled on his boxers and retuned to the bed. I leaned back on my palms and thought about his words before I replied.

"I don't think love is really in the cards for me, given my job and all. But for you it's definitely going to happen. You'll meet some nice boy who you will want to be around all the time and when you're not with him you will feel an ache…almost a pull that-"

I stopped, my mouth open in mid-sentence as I realized the words I had just said…and the possible meaning behind them.

"What?"

Shaking my head, I continued, "drags you back to him no matter what. That is love, Seth. The fucking? That just goes with it, an added benefit. And it's so much better when you're in love."

"Really? How?"

"It's more intense, not just on a physical level, but because an emotional bond is formed, you want nothing more than to please the other person, you would do anything for them, and that feeling comes out when you're making love. It's a beautiful thing when it happens together."

"How do you know if you haven't been in love, Jasper?"

Fucking good question.

"I'm a professional, it's my job to know these things," I chuckled as I stood up. "I should get going, the end of your free hour is sneaking up on us."

Once I was dressed, we stood at his door. Dressed only in his boxers, he put his hands on my chest and pushed me forcefully against it before his lips meet mine, his tongue entering my mouth while his hands went to my hair, fisting it as he used his weight to keep me against the thin wood.

It was fucking hot.

Putting my hands on his hips, I slid them under his boxers and groped his ass one last time. He moaned and thrust his hips forward. Before he got too hard, I pulled away.

"You are one horny kid," I laughed. His lips went along my jaw and down my neck. Suddenly I felt one of his hands under my shirt, traveling up to my nipples. He knew how to speak my language.

"I'm seventeen, thinking about paper gets me hard," he quoted against my skin as his other hand went to my cock. He had come three times, I had only come once, I wasn't against going at it again, but time wasn't on our side. "Please let me see you again, I promise I won't say anything to anyone. I swear," he begged, his voice beginning to choke up. "Please, please…"

"Speaking of, I'm curious, how did you get the money?" I went to pull his hands away from my body, but his eagerness felt too damn good, so I relented and fell limp as he continued to touch me everywhere his hands could reach, my hair, my cock, my chest and sides while his lips never left my neck and collarbone. He pulled away, but kept his hands on me, his fingers pinching my sensitive nipples.

"I have a part time job and I saved up my paychecks."

"You saved up your pay to hire an escort to take your virginity?"

He never ceased to amaze me.

I had assumed he was going to say he took it from his parents or used their credit card.

"Yeah, is that stupid?" he asked, his confidence fading quickly.

"Just the opposite. How did you use a credit card though?"

"I got one of those prepaid ones and used that."

He was a smart boy.

Leaning back in, he continued his assault on me.

"I really need to go," I sighed as I felt myself beginning to harden in my jeans, my cock once again yearning for his touch…and his ass. Stopping, he put his forehead on my chest while my heart pounded solidly underneath.

"Please, can I see you again?" he whispered desperately. "I need to see you again, Jasper."

"When are you eighteen?" I felt myself beginning to cave, my willingness to bend the rules coming easily as his body remained pressed to mine.

"Nine months."

"I'll tell you what. In six months, if you don't have a boyfriend, give me a call and I will come over."

His head shot up and he grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Only why don't you take my number? You don't have to go through the service again. Save your money for something more important than me."

Having him not go through the service worked out for both of us, he didn't have to pay and I didn't have to worry about breaking the rules. By Washington state law, he was over the age of consent.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and pressed his lips to mine. "Thank you," he whispered. Finally, he released me and ran down the hall. A moment later he appeared with his cell phone. "Okay, what's your number?" I gave it to him and he entered it before clicking the call button to test it. Sure enough, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out and added his number to my contacts. Reaching behind me, I turned the knob and smiled at him one last time. "See you in six months," he grinned knowingly.

If he didn't have a boyfriend in six months, I had no doubt I would see him.

"Bye, Seth." I fingered the ends of his hair and pulled him to me one last time. "Thanks for the great fuck, you were incredible."

Blushing, he lowered his eyes, his lashes fanning over his colored cheeks. "Thanks," he mumbled embarrassed. After one last wave, I turned and walked to the car, Aro opening the door as I approached.

"Everything okay, sir?" he asked as I climbed in. Nodding, I slid to the middle and put my bag on the seat beside me. He got in behind the wheel. "Sir?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Apparently, he thought he had reserved two hours and not one, so because I had no more clients tonight, I stayed for the extra hour." I lifted my hips and pulled a wad of bills from my pocket quickly counting out five hundred dollars. "And he just paid me in cash. Sorry you had to wait."

"No problem, sir, I don't mind waiting," he said and I saw him glance at the crumpled money, knowing full well it had come from me and not Seth. "Do you need to get anything on the way home?"

"No, thanks, Aro. Just home."

As he drove, I thought about my night with Seth. I had gone there to teach him about sex and yet, the student had taught the master. I discovered a boy that had worked hard for what he wanted and went after it and opened himself up to the possibility of love, no matter how misguided it might have been, he was willing to feel it.

What disturbed me the most was…how the fuck did I know how to describe it to him?

When my Blackberry vibrated, I quickly pulled it out, ignoring my heart racing at the thought of it being a message from Edward.

I was partially right, it was a text message. But it wasn't from Edward. It was from Tanya.

Confirming an appointment with Peter Carlson for Friday night.

The same Friday Edward was expecting to be with me.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

So, we saw a sweet side to Escortsper...

We are at almost 700 reviews, if we hit 1k, we will do an outtake…any suggestions, let us know in a review or PM.


	11. The Emerald City

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-Okay, here is the big day…literally. Not only is it over 22k, but we've got Jasper _and _Edward povs, and a lot of firsts for the boys.

Jpov written by me, Epov was expertly handled by Dannie with about 2k added by me. (Dannie calls it the TS Bloat) What can I say, I had to add some more details, I didn't want their day to end!

Big thanks to OfTheDamned for the beta on this, and especially for the quick turnaround so I could get it uploaded asap!

"**~~**"

**Jpov**~

His arm was a strong band around my waist, warm and solid. I felt his breath wash over the nape of my neck as his nose nuzzled my hair. A contented sigh escaped his mouth right before he placed a kiss on my heated skin. It was unusual for me to wake up in his arms. Usually I rolled over to a cool, empty spot as he was already out of bed, if he had even been to bed, and working by the time I opened my eyes. My body was always exhausted in the most pleasant ways after our nights together. Briefly I wondered what had led him to spend the entire night in bed.

Perhaps, for once, he was exhausted too. He had taken me four times in the hours before. As soon as I had arrived, we sat and ate dinner at the table, then he had undressed me, achingly fucking slowly, teasing my cock with a feather the entire time before he put me on all fours on the bed and took me from behind, letting out a loud, strangled cry as he came and then stroked me until I did the same. Shortly after, as I lay in my cum on the bedspread, he flipped me over, working me with his beautiful mouth until I was ready to go again, and then he entered me, wrapping my legs around his waist, grunting in exertion until he spilled inside me. I had napped a bit after that, but was woken up by the feather tickling my spine and ass, then he replaced the feather with his tongue and then his cock. Gripping the headboard so tightly my knuckles turned white, I pressed my hips into the mattress hoping to relieve the ache in my cock as he slammed into me, his hands and mouth roaming my body until he cried out and came, leaving me completely hard and frustrated.

But not for long.

Once he had caught his winded breath, he turned me over and teased me with the feather over my entire body; my neck, my nipples, cock, balls, the soft skin on the inside of my thighs, while he inserted slick fingers into my hole, tantalizing my prostate.

"My cock…please, fuck," I drawled, desperate to feel his mouth or hand around my cock, instead I got grazed by the feather, my cock twitched and bobbed each time he dragged it over the head and down the sides. My arms were out at my sides, my hands fisting the bedspread while he continued his torture.

"Have I told you how much I love hearing you beg?" he murmured into my ear. "So fucking sexy, Jasper. Wanting me this badly, wanting my touch…"

"Touch…fuck," I groaned, my body seeking the feather and his fingers at the same time. Spreading my legs and arching my back I was able to ease his fingers deeper, the tips of them brushing my prostate repeatedly until I finally fucking came, screaming his name as long streams of cum erupted from my cock onto my chest and abdomen.

He had never laid a hand on my cock.

Cum dripped from my slit as he continued to pump his fingers in me and drag the feather over my hypersensitive cock.

"Please, stop, stop," I begged, writhing, but he refused to relent, the feather, then dampened with cum, was circling my pebbled nipples.

"You are quite the begging boy tonight, aren't you?" he ran his lips along my jaw. "How about I get you cleaned up?" he asked before slowly moving his mouth down my body until he took my cock between his lips.

"Fuck," I moaned, my hips thrusting up into his mouth. Sucking around my softening cock, he lapped me clean.

"Better?" he asked as he released me.

The last time had been in the shower a few hours later when we were both lathered and soapy and slick. The steam curled around us as he pressed me against the tile and fucked me until the water rinsed my cum down the drain.

I admit, waking up in his embrace was pretty fucking nice.

Glancing at the bedside clock, I realized I had less than an hour before my next client. My heart began to race.

"G' morning," he greeted in a husky drawl as he pulled me tighter to him and wedged his knee between my thighs. His fingers were wrapping around my morning wood and he began to leisurely stroke it. When I felt his own cock rubbing against my ass, wanting entrance, I let my mind fall victim to the feelings of pleasure my body was receiving. "Do we have time?" he mumbled, his hand ghosting over the head of my cock.

Nodding, I turned my head and kissed him, moaning into his open mouth as he touched me. Breaking the kiss, he released me and rolled to his back to get the condom and lube on his table. After he put the condom on, he spread lube on his cock and then rolled back to me. Keeping me on my side, he pulled the sheet off me, exposing my body to him and then lifted my leg and pushed his fingers into my ass. I hissed as he prepared me, his fingers quickly replaced by his cock.

"So fucking good," he whispered as the head of his cock entered me, pushing past the tight ring of muscle. "Do you have any idea what you do to me, Jasper? How I want you all the time," he asked, his breath heavy as he began to thrust into me, his hand on the inside of my knee, holding my leg up.

Turning my head, I reached around with my arm and pulled him to me, kissing him hard and deep and needy. Groans were exchanged as he set a quick rhythm with his hips. Reaching down, I took my cock in my hand and began stroking myself. I was already slick with precum, my hand easily sliding up and down. My entire body was sore, yet it still tensed and flexed and moved against his, wanting it more with each thrust of his hips.

He continuously pounded me, sometimes slowing to an erotic pace, other times furiously bucking his hips as we kissed. Gasping, he pulled away, his open mouth on my shoulder and I felt his nails digging into the soft flesh of my thigh.

"Goin' to come," he moaned into my sweaty skin. Seconds later, he stilled and let out a grunt, his cock pulsing inside me as it shot into the condom in short bursts. "Jesus," he sighed as he slipped from me and let my leg down. With a hand on my ribs, he forced me onto my back and smiled down at me. "Masturbate for me," he demanded.

I have him a lazy grin and then began stroking myself faster, lifting my hips off the bed into my hand. Reaching down with my other hand, I tugged on my balls and let out an exaggerated moan for him.

"Mmm, yes. What are you thinking about?" he asked, his eyes darting back and forth between my face and my cock.

"You. Fucking. Me." I answered simply and breathlessly. "I like you watching me touching myself for you, my cock hard for you, wanting to come for you," I added. He swallowed hard.

"Are you close?"

I nodded and let my eyes drift close.

"No, look at me. Look at me when you come," he commanded, but his voice was hushed and rough. "Fucking hot," he sighed, his eyes staring at my cock in my hand. Eager to touch me himself, I saw his hand twitch as it rested on my hip, but he resisted. Just as the tingling began in my abdomen, he spoke again. "Slow down."

Exhaling a long breath, I followed his instructions and slowed my pace, my cock throbbing with the need to come almost as much as it had the night before.

"What are you thinking of, tell me?"

"You're in your suit, no jacket, shirt open, pants undone. I'm on my knees naked, licking my lips as you pull your cock out for me, guiding my mouth onto it, you begin to fuck my mouth fast, your head hanging back, you groan." The pace of my hand increased, and I immediately felt the warmth spreading throughout my body. "Fuck," I grunted, my hips bucking off the bed as my cock jerked into my hand shooting cum onto my chest, the orgasm hitting me in lengthy waves.

My body was still shuddering when he pried my fingers off my cock and leaned over to kiss me. Breathing heavily into the kiss, I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled him onto me, the cum on my stomach smearing when his climbed on top of me. While his tongue met mine, the last of my climax began to fade and my body, sated and exhausted, trembled in the aftermath.

Finally, still on top of me, he pulled away. "Do you have any idea how sexy you are right now? This post orgasmic glow and cum on you…mmm…" Blushing, I shook my head. Laughing, he pushed up and straddled me, raking his nails down my chest, watching my body shiver in response. "All the shit we do, and you blush when I call you sexy?" he chuckled. Glancing at the clock, he sighed, "It's time for you to go."

"How come you slept in the bed last night?" I asked, remembering his rule about questions, I hadn't asked permission before blurting it out. "You didn't have work?"

"I always have work," he sighed. "I just didn't want to be anywhere but next to you last night." He shrugged his wide shoulders and winked.

"I liked it," I blushed again, looking away.

"Yeah? I'll try to do it more often then." Glancing at the clock, he sighed, "You got to go."

I followed his eyes and saw the time.

Ten minutes.

With one last kiss, he got off me and held out his hand. Gripping it, he pulled me off the bed and slapped my ass I walked to the bathroom. I had no time for a shower, but I brushed my teeth and ran my fingers through my just-got-fucked-hair. Back in the bedroom, Peter was already in his dress pants and his shirt.

Which was open.

"Are you trying to tempt me?" I asked with a grin as I grabbed my bag.

"Is it working?" he returned.

"Maybe," I admitted as I tugged on my jeans and pulled a polo shirt over my head before grabbing my leather jacket and putting it on.

"Wow," he said as I sat on the bed to put my sneakers on.

"What?"

"You. Casual. Mmmmm, I like it." He walked over and tilted my head up. "Next time, wear this," he motioned to my clothing.

"Seriously? Jeans and a polo shirt?"

"And the leather jacket. Yes," he whispered before leaning down and kissing me. I stood, not breaking the kiss and pressed my body to his. Finally, he pulled away. "You better go, it's getting late, and I don't want you to get into trouble."

"Bye, Peter," I smiled. "See you soon."

"Bye, Jasper," he mumbled as he kissed me one last time. As soon as the door closed behind me, I broke into a sprint, my bag swaying on my shoulder as I turned the corner and ran down the hall to suite five, the fucking pull getting stronger with each stride. In front of his door, I caught my breath, popped a mint into my mouth and knocked. It was only a few seconds before I heard shuffling and the door swung open.

My heart beat halted when he smiled at me.

Dressed in jeans and a white button down shirt with the top button undone, he looked sexy as fuck. His hair stood on end, twisting and twirling in every direction, his eyes were clear and ocean green. Without a word, he fisted my leather jacket and pulled me to him in the open doorway, his lips already parted when mine touched them. No soft kiss, it was deep and hard, his tongue curling around mine. I let the bag slide off my shoulder onto the floor and weaved my fingers into his hair, messing it up even more, so fucking eager to feel those soft bronze locks again. Moaning, he clutched me to him, our bodies pressed tightly and I felt his chest inhale deeply.

Then he let me go.

Taking a step back, he eyed me warily with dark, suspicious eyes.

"You stink," he growled in disgust.

_Peter._

Not only did I probably smell like sex, that tangy, musky scent the clung to people for hours after, but Peter as well- his cum, his body odor, his aftershave…just him.

"Edward, I," I began but then stopped and took a deep breath. "Can I use your shower, please?" Nodding, he motioned toward the hall where the guest bathroom was. "Thanks," I mumbled, picking up my back, I headed down the hall without looking back, constantly berating myself for not having taken the time to shower before I had left Peter's suite. It would have taken less than the ten minutes I had had left but I had been in such a fucking rush to get to him, to see him and hold him and touch him.

To feel that pull again that sent my pulse racing and cock twitching.

Only to be rejected.

Pissed at myself, I undressed and stepped into the shower even before the water had warmed up. As the steam grew around me, I lathered up and washed my hair, the entire time wondering what the hell kind of conversation we were going to have when I got out. He had to realize it was my job. Just as he worked with businesses and mergers and shit, I worked with people and fucking them.

It was simply what I did.

He and I had that in common, we both fucked people for money, only I did it without clothes on.

Repeatedly, as I rinsed my hair, I told myself he was a client. Nothing more.

_Nothing more. _

As I turned the water off and felt my stomach churn, I got out and began to dry off.

_Nothing more. _

It was becoming a mantra.

Pulling on my jeans, I looked at myself in the mirror. I had begun to fill out, having gained over twenty pounds since joining the Service, I was less wiry and more developed than before. My stomach had defined muscles, almost hiding the scar that sat in the crevice of the 'v' above my hip. Running the tip of my finger over the white jagged line, I shivered. It was one of many scars on my body, some had faded over time.

Although most of my scars were on the inside.

And those would never fucking fade.

Sighing, I tugged my shirt on over my head and then ran my hands through my damp curls. He was waiting for me, I had delayed it as long as possible.

_Nothing more. _

If he was nothing more, then why did I have a sick feeling in my stomach as I walked down the hall to the main room?

Taking a deep breath, I turned the corner and found him sitting at the piano, his fingers grazing the keys but he wasn't actually playing. His eyes were staring the keys but they were not focused on them. His mind was not on the piano at all.

I had a feeling it had been on me, in the shower, washing off what had repulsed him.

"Hey," I said quietly as I walked over the piano and sat on the bench next to him. His fingers stilled over the keys and I heard him sigh. Normally, I didn't care what clients were thinking or feeling, those things weren't my concern. I was hired to get them off, not talk shit out with them.

Peter had been an exception to the rule. He had somehow worked his way into my life, gained my trust through sex which had led to my trust outside of sex. He knew things about me that only Riley was privy to, and I was, for once in my life, comfortable with that. But sitting there, next to Edward, I wanted nothing more than to posses the power of mind reading, I could sense the mixture of emotions as they shifted around him, but his thoughts were unknown and guarded.

Until he leaned to the side and laid his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "That was rude of me and I apologize."

"Edward it's okay," I comforted, putting a hand on his thigh. He lifted his head and turned to me, straddling the bench.

"No, it's not. It was awful of me. It's just…I really…." he paused, his brows furrowed and his lips pursed.

He was hurt.

Suddenly there was a tightening in my chest, a slight ache settled there the longer I watched him. I wanted to take the hurt I had caused him away. Before he could speak again, I cupped his cheek, leaned forward and even as I saw the confused look on his face, pressed my lips to his, brushing them back and forth before taking his bottom lip between my mine and running my tongue along it. Never deepening it, I kissed him for a few moments. Moving my hands to his shoulders, I felt his gripping my forearms tightly. When I pulled away, his brows were no longer furrowed, and his confused look at turned to one of gratification.

I had solved the problem like I always did…with sex.

"Better?" I murmured as I put my forehead to his. I wasn't sure if I was asking if he was better or if I smelled better.

"Yes," he replied. Edward graced me with a smile, his lips turning up more on one side. The crooked smile was one I hadn't seen before.

I liked it.

And even though he was sitting only inches from me, the pull increased and my stomach flipped like I had jumped off the ledge of a building.

Taking a deep breath, I sat up straight and took his hand. "Are you ready to go?"

He nodded eagerly and stood up, holding my hand the entire time he gathered his cell phone and wallet. Just as we were about to walk out the door, he turned to me. "Am I dressed appropriate?"

He still had the shirt and jeans on, only he had thrown a tweed jacket over the shirt.

"Perfect," I answered. We walked down the hall to the elevator, through the lobby and out onto the street in silence. Once we were outside where the rare sunny day was burning off the fog that clung in the air, Edward stopped and looked up and down the street.

"Cab?" he asked, taking a step toward one of the doormen, but I reached out and stopped him.

"Not necessary, we can walk," I said. "It's only about half a mile walk, is that okay?"

"Sure," he smiled, reaching into his jacket he pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses. I think my breath fucking hitched when he put them on, the contrast of the black glasses against his pale skin and copper hair. "I don't get much chance to use these out here," he joked, looking up at the sunlight.

"Yeah, it's usually pretty disgusting. But it's a nice change of pace," I shrugged.

"I imagine it is," he sighed, looking around. "So, Mr. Tour Guide, where are you taking me?"

"Ah, that's a surprise, you'll see. I've done extensive research on Emerald City, searched the depths of….Google, to find the best sights to see." I flashed him a grin.

"I've never seen the city from this way, I'm usually in the back of a car," he laughed.

I usually saw it from car too, while I was being fucked.

Walking a brisk pace, we reached 1st Street and turned right. We were surrounded by everyday people, students, businessmen, and parents. Shaking my head, I wondered if they knew the other side of their city, the side where drugs were exchanged for sex, where runaways were cajoled into prostitution, where people were beaten for being gay. More than likely, they went on with their tunnel vision, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, fucking and falling asleep to the television, completely oblivious to the strife that was happening in the streets around them. I glanced around constantly, down the alleys off to our sides. The last thing I needed was to run into someone that recognized me.

Peter knew I had been a hooker on the streets, Edward did not.

And I really fucking wanted to keep it that way.

We passed a large building to our right, Edward pointed to it and asked. "What's that?"

"Art museum, I believe," I shrugged. He had probably been to a ton of art museum fundraisers and gallery openings. The most cultured art I had seen was the graffiti on the walls while I fucked Riley against them. As we neared Pike's Market, Edward kept nervously glancing around, his lips pursing sometimes. While we waited for a light to change, his fingers brushed mine, and I knew why he was nervous.

"You alright?" I asked with a smirk. Smiling, he nodded and took a deep breath. Then he was entwining his fingers with mine. Suddenly, he seemed less nervous, calmed by the connection of our hands and I wondered if he felt the same conflict of anxiety and calm that I often felt with him. We started walking again.

Holding hands.

I had never walked down the street holding hands before. If I had to follow a john somewhere, my hands were in my pockets, fingers wrapped around the handle of my blade. I felt his warmth in my hand, his fingers occasionally tightening or moving against mine as they swayed a bit between us. It wasn't exactly a strange sensation, I had certainly held his hand before, but it was such a …normal thing, a casual, tender gesture. I had never done anything like it. Immediately, I liked it and, well, didn't want to fucking let his hand go for the rest of the day. The heat from his hand traveled throughout my entire body, and made my heart swell, my chest constricted around it, the pressure a surprisingly pleasant ache.

"This okay?" he asked as we turned and headed down the last block. I brought our hands up to my mouth and kissed them, and enjoyed the fucking blush that flooded his cheeks. By the time we arrived at Pike's Market, both of us were wearing the most ridiculous grins. "Wow," he said, looking around. "What is this place?"

"It's called Pike's Place. A bunch of farmers markets, seafood markets and…well, something I wanted to show you. We can come back to the markets," I urged, tugging on his hand, I headed down past the vegetable stands and across the street. Sighing, I stopped and looked up.

We were there.

"So…what do think? Seattle's pride and joy," I said and pointed in front of us.

It was small and looked much different than what he was probably used to, but the white letters above the entrance and the familiar logo on the circled sign in the window were a dead give away.

"Starbucks?" he chuckled.

I did the equivalent of rubbing my toe in the dirt when I tilted my head and let my hair fall in front of one eye. Looking at him through the curls, I shrugged my shoulders. "I thought being a businessman and all that you probably drank lots of coffee or whatever that other shit is called. This here is where it all began, the first one."

"Really? I knew their headquarters were in Seattle, but I never realized there was an actual first shop." he smiled. "Can we go get one?"

"Course," I replied and we headed inside. In line he stood close to me, his arm almost touching mine, his scent filling the coffee scented air around me and I breathed it in deeply. He reached up and took off his sunglasses, stuffing them in his pocket. When he looked at me, his eyes were greener than I had ever seen them, and complimented by their frame of long lashes, they literally took my breath away.

"What do you want?" he asked when we got closer to the counter.

I had no fucking idea. I had never had coffee before.

"Whatever you're getting," I answered with a smile. At the counter, he ordered in what sounded like a foreign language and then quickly handed over his card before I could get my money out of my pocket. While we waited for the drinks I looked around. There were groups of people everywhere, a few couples, even one gay couple in the far corner. Standing there with Edward, holding his hand, I realized for once in my life, I fit in. Those people had no idea I was a hooker, for all they knew, we had been together for years, high school sweethearts even. We were just another couple to them.

Not a hooker and his client.

When the girl handed us our drinks, Edward released my hand to grab both and then held mine out to me.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked, motioning to a table, but he shook his head.

"Do you mind if we drink while we walk, I want to check out the markets," he asked hopefully.

"Sure."

We walked out into the sun and headed toward the markets. For over an hour, we wandered up and down the stands, Edward picked up some fruit for later at his hotel room and we stopped and watched them throw the fish around the fist market. One flew by Edward's head and he jumped, and then laughed, hearty and full and contagious. I laughed right beside him and realized how much I was enjoying his company, and we still had clothes on.

It was a day full of firsts.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand again, practically skipping to another stand. He pulled me to a stop in front of buckets of flowers. Glancing at me, he picked up a bunch of purple flowers, their long, thick stems held together by a rubber band. After he paid the cashier, he turned to me and held them out to me. "For you," he said shyly as a blush rose on his cheeks.

I had no fucking idea what kind of flowers they were. I was pretty sure they weren't roses, but they were the prettiest flowers I had ever seen. When I took them from him, my hand wrapped around his and I brought the flowers up to my nose and breathed in their fresh scent, closing my eyes.

"Damn, you're beautiful," he murmured and licked his lips. I saw him glance around us quickly before leaning in.

And there, in front of the flower stand in the middle of Seattle, Edward Cullen kissed me.

As soon as his lips touched mine, I had the urge to deepen it, to want more. Even though we were in public, even though it was brief, it was one of the most intimate things in my life. Breaking the kiss before I couldn't resist any longer, I brushed the backs of my fingers down his cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered. His blush darkened and he let the flowers go and took my hand again.

"Where to now?" he asked.

"Are you hungry?" He nodded. "Then let's go eat."

"Where?" he asked as we walked down the street.

"You'll see." And I held my hand up for a cab. One pulled over and I held the door open for Edward as he slid in. "Four hundred Broad Street," I told the driver, sat back and turned to Edward. Taking his hand again, I held it on his thigh.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked, curious. Sighing, I shook my head.

"Ya know, for someone that left the agenda up to me, you sure do ask a lot of questions."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "It's habit, my job, I'm always in such control of everything around me, so to relinquish it is quite difficult for me."

"Well, trust me, I think you'll like it. It's a must see," I teased. After a few minutes of traffic, we pulled up the curb and as Edward got out, I leaned forward and paid the driver, feeling pretty damn proud of myself. I had never paid a driver before, but I had been in cabs with johns and had seen it done.

"Wow," he exclaimed, looking almost straight up. "I've seen it from the air and from a distance but never up close. It really does look like a spaceship, doesn't it?"

"Maybe it is," I winked and as we headed inside I took his hand in mine without even thinking. We took the elevator up to the restaurant and when the doors opened, Edward was laughing but things changed a second later. As we stepped off the elevator, he let go of my hand like it had burned him.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath before lifting his chin and narrowing his eyes, I saw a mask instantly go into place. "Daniel, what a surprise, how are you?" His friendly voice not matching the steel look he had on his face.

The man standing in the lobby was late twenties, tall, thin and wearing an expensive suit. My guess was Tom Ford, but I wasn't sure. He had short, black hair with dark brown eyes peering out from behind thin wire-framed glasses. Glancing at his left hand, I saw a gold band. Daniel put his Blackberry in his pocket and reached his right hand out for Edward, who shook it.

"Edward, we weren't expecting you until Monday," he greeted with a fake smile.

"I flew in last night to spend today with a friend of mine," he turned to me. "Jasper this is Daniel Scotch, he works for a company that is merging with my father's. Daniel, this is Jasper," he hesitated less than a second as it dawned on him that he didn't know my last name. "an old friend from Stanford. I held my hand out for him as I seen him do for Edward and was slightly repulsed by the clammy grip he returned.

"Nice to meet you, Daniel," I replied coolly.

"You too. Do you live in Seattle?" he asked as he let got of my hand, and I knew he had picked up on the accent.

"I do, though only for the past few years," I answered, glancing at Edward, his demeanor distant and businesslike, one that he easily fell back into the role of. It was not the same man that had laughed at the fish and bought me flowers, which I was still holding in my left hand. Daniel's eyes roamed over me, up and down, spotting the flowers before he spoke again.

"Interesting. Do you like it?" he asked with a condescending tone, and I suddenly wished I had worn my favorite Armani.

"I do, very much," I replied, challenging his gaze with one of my own.

"Nice flowers, are they for your wife?" he motioned to the purple somethings in my hand.

"As a matter of fact, they are-"I began.

"Are you here with the boys?" Edward interrupted me.

"I was, they already headed downstairs, left me with the bill," Daniel joked. "I better go meet them, Have a great day, Edward, enjoy the sights and see you on Monday. Jasper, nice to meet you. Maybe I'll see you around town?"

Unless he called Denali Escorts, not likely. Then again, he looked like he could use one of my colleagues.

"Maybe," I grinned. Pulling out his phone again, he headed onto the elevator. Once the doors were closed, I turned to Edward. "Are all the people you work with such assholes?"

The tension rolled off his body but he gave me that crooked smile anyway, and I could see his body visibly relax.

"You could tell that just from that short conversation?" he asked.

"Hell yeah."

We walked into the restaurant and after a short wait were seated right by the windows. After the waiter came and served us our juice, I looked out the window. "So what do you think?"

Edward followed by gaze and smiled. "It's an amazing view," he sighed before turning back to me. "Thank you for taking me here." He folded his hands on the table and looked down at them. "I need to apologize for what just happened."

"Pfft, not your fault he's an ass," I scoffed.

"That's not what I mean," he said, keeping his head down but bringing his eyes up to mine.

"Oh, that." I shrugged before bluntly asking, "You're not out, are you?"

He took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat, after a long glance around the restaurant to make sure he would not be overheard, he answered. "No. There is only one person in Chicago that knows I'm gay. His name is Emmett," he smiled fondly, "my best friend since high school. But no one else, my parents, other friends, colleagues, no one. It's just…it's not…" he stammered, searching for the right words. "It's too detrimental to my work, and my father has worked his entire life for his company, starting it from nothing to be one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the country. I can't risk the bad publicity that would go along with coming out. This is my first major merger, and the board of directors gave my father a hard time about giving it to me practically fresh out of college, but he put his faith and his company in my hands and I can't fuck it up. It means too much to him."

"Just to him?"

"Well, to me too." He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up even more. "I just want to make him proud, you know? And I know I can do this merger, in fact, so far, it's going well. I have had a few bumps, but overall, I can't complain. I had never been to Seattle before, turns out, it's a great city, and has provided me with something I can't get in Chicago," he smiled shyly at me.

"Why not?"

"I can't risk it. I can't risk someone finding out about me, so the further away from Chicago I…engage in sexual relations, the better."

"So that's where the Service comes in," I assumed.

"Exactly. Actually, Emmett is the one that gave me the number. Apparently he has used it a few times and spoke highly of the employees and confidentiality, which was very necessary for me. Never did I expect…" he dropped his eyes, focusing on his hands on the table.

"What?" I encouraged, taking sip of my apple juice.

"To meet someone like you," he finished quietly. "I thought it'd be cool, a good way to get laid at least once every few weeks and now…now I find myself sitting in my office in Chicago trying to make up excuses to come out here more often, or earlier than originally planned, because I can't wait to see you." He raised his eyes, searching for my reaction to his admission. Even if I had wanted to suppress the smile, it would not be denied, as my lips curled up into a grin and my dimples showed.

"Really?" I felt my face heating up as he nodded. "About this morning," I began but he shook his head.

"No, don't," he refused.

"Edward, I think we need to talk about it," I suggested and he released a long breath. The waiter appeared with our orders and filled our drinks before leaving us alone again. Edward dipped his spoon into his chowder while I ate my Caesar salad. "We can go out and do this all we want, but it doesn't change what I am," I said in a hushed voice. "Or what I do with other people."

"I know," he said, putting his spoon down and rubbing his hands down his face. "It's just, when you're with me it seems different, you know? I had another escort a few times before you and it wasn't anything like," he motioned with is hand between us, "what you and I have. And sometimes I forget that you are just doing your job," he finished sadly.

I put my fork down. "Edward, I'm here on my own time. I think it's safe to say," I took a deep breath. I was fucking diving off a cliff, but my instinct, the one that I trusted to keep me alive, was telling me to say it. "That it's more than job to me with you."

It was out. Sure, I hadn't told him about the hummingbirds or the stupid fucking pull that made me nauseous, but I had just admitted he was more than a client to me.

"And, I honestly, I have no fucking idea what it means," I sighed, looking out the window at the skyline of the city as we slowly spun. "This is all new to me, wanting to be with someone for something other than sex. I'm…I'm just not quite sure what it means yet."

When I was finally brave enough to return my eyes to him, I saw that beautiful crooked smile and soulful eyes. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I sound ridiculous, don't I?"

"Not at all. I know exactly what you mean," he agreed. He finished his chowder and pushed it aside just as the waiter brought our main courses. After he served us and Edward thanked him, we both began to cut our steaks.

"So, what do we do?" I asked, taking a bite of a perfectly cooked prime rib. Six months ago, I would have been lucky to have scraped the meat off a prime rib bone from a dumpster and there I was, sitting at the top of the Space Needle with a client eating prime rib.

"I guess exactly what we're doing. I will fly out on Fridays, try to reserve you for Friday and Saturday nights, and hopefully spend some Saturday and Sundays with you in your off time," he finished and then looked up at me. "I mean, if you…if you want to that is."

"I think I'd like that," I grinned, then turned more serious. "As long as you realize that I won't always be available on Friday and Saturday nights."

"So, I've come to find out," he frowned. "I wanted to see you last night, I emailed Tanya and assumed I would get confirmation, and I did, except it was only for tonight. She said you weren't available Friday. I assumed that meant you had another client, so I offered more money, but she refused. She was pleasant about it, but it was frustrating."

"Speaking of tonight, do you mind if I take you out some place?" I asked absently, hoping I was sounding more fucking casual than I felt.

"Sure, where?"

"It's a surprise," I smiled.

"Hmmm, another surprise," he winked. "I like the sound of that."

Edward was closeted in Chicago, in Seattle he felt free to be the person he really was, a gay man. I was going to show him the nightlife of gay man, and take him to a gay dance club. My cock twitched at the thought of Edward dancing, close and sweaty to me as we bumped and ground on the dance floor. His hair under the flashing lights as I run my hands through it, his lips full and tasty…

"May I ask you a question?" he interrupted my daydream.

Honestly, I fucking hated questions. Well, at least any that didn't involve the words 'are you going to come', but I nodded anyway because, well, because it was him.

"Are you out?" he almost whispered and I raised an eyebrow. "Like with your friends and family?"

I held back my laugh. I was pretty sure my fellow hookers knew I preferred men, but if a woman paid, she got me. Did that make me gay or bi sexual? Either way, I guessed I was out because I had never been in. As for family….

"You could say that, yes," I replied cryptically and he tilted his head, wanting more. "First, I don't know if I'm gay or bi-sexual. I've been with women for work purposes, but when I'm with them, I'm able to get hard." I smiled as he looked embarrassed at my forwardness. "Sometimes I think about guys, sometimes they just feel good. Anyway, I don't really have family, so that's not an issue and the few friends I have know but I've never told them, they just know."

"I tried to be with a woman once," he visibly shuddered. "It didn't go very well. She was a great girl, sweet and very pretty but when I tried to do anything more than kiss her, I got queasy."

I tried to stop laughing, but I couldn't help imagining Edward fumbling around with a girl, his hands shaking as he tried to undo her bra or attempted to find her clit.

"Stop laughing," he hissed with a smile. "It wasn't funny. I couldn't get hard at all."

I was holding my hands over my mouth to muffle the sound. "Queasy?"

"Yes, as in sick to my stomach," he explained. Our waiter returned and cleared our dishes and asked if we were ready for desert, but we both passed. After saying he would be return with our check, Edward eyed me.

"What?" I asked, my laughing finally dying down. "Can't handle teasing?" I challenged.

He leaned closer. "On the contrary, Jasper, I can very much handle your teasing. Something I hope we can explore later?"

_Oh._

I flashed him a grin, "I think I can arrange that." The waiter returned with our bill and put it in the middle of the table. Edward reached out, grabbed it and before I could blink, he had his credit card out and handed it back to the waiter. He hadn't even looked at the amount.

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my cash. "How much do I owe?"

He shook his head. "It's on me."

My body tensed and my hand fingers curled around the wad of bills. "Edward, you are not paying for me right now, I can certainly pay my own way here," I said tersely.

The waiter returned, Edward signed the receipt and then handed it back to him before speaking. He looked down at his lap. "I thought this was a date, and as a date, I wanted to pay for you," he said quietly.

I felt like shit for automatically jumping to the conclusion that he felt I was too poor to buy my own lunch. Hell, not only was I not poor, I probably made more per hour than he did. Though I doubted he was attempting to pay a pimp a couple grand a week.

"I've never been on a date," I admitted without thinking.

Again, the crooked smile, which was quickly becoming my favorite look on him, besides the one with his lips around my cock.

"Me either," he said quietly. "This is my first official date."

Grabbing the flowers, I stood up. "Ready? I've got a few more things to show you on your first official date."

He stood and I led him up to the observation deck. Once we were there, we made our way to the windows and stood in silence for a few moments. There were families with children around us; one even asked us to take their picture for them. Edward agreed, and pointed the camera at them as they stood arm in arm. Clicking their picture, he smiled at the result and handed their camera back to them. They thanked him and when he turned around to me I saw a different man.

I saw the man that his friends and family were privileged to know, I saw the private part of Edward, the man under the mask and even under the sex. I barely knew him but I saw his humor and tenderness and gratitude all in just a few seconds. The sick feeling in my stomach increased as I silently watched him stare out at the skyline. Moving behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist, smiling when I felt his hands grip mine and I placed my chin on his shoulder.

"Is this okay? I don't want you to worry about running into someone," I asked.

"I'm not, they left and I highly doubt they would come up here anyway, I'm sure they've all seen it before." Laying his head back on my shoulder, he let me support him.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered in his ear.

"How small we are. I mean, we all have these lives that we lead and we go about our days but when you're up here like this and you realize how many people are down there living their lives, it just makes me feel so small, insignificant."

"Baby, you are hardly insignificant," I sighed and squeezed him tighter. I felt his smile and kissed his neck.

"I like that," he admitted.

"Mmm, me too," I agreed with my lips against his skin. His shoulders shook when he laughed.

"Well, that too, but I was referring to the nickname."

"Eddie?" I teased, my breath warm in his ear, his soft copper wisps grazing my cheek.

"No," he blushed.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he agreed.

With my lips at his ear, I whispered, "Baby, I can't wait to get you back to the hotel room." I felt the shudder throughout his body and he turned in my arms, placing a gentle, unhurried kiss on my lips.

"Say it again," he murmured.

"I can't wait to get you back to the hotel room," I repeated, smiling. He rolled his eyes and I added, "Baby."

He put his forehead to mine. "What is this, Jasper?"

Heavily, I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. If I could answer that question, I might know what the mysterious ache and fucking hummingbirds were all about.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "It scares me sometimes, but I kind of like it." His arms went around my neck, but he didn't pull me into a kiss, instead he granted me a slanted smile.

"Me too." He turned back around and we stared out over the city for a few more minutes, walking around as much as we could to see it from all sides. As I stood looking down on the city, I felt like the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, vigilantly looking over my Emerald City and its people.

Briefly, I wondered where Riley was and if he was safe. My chest tightened a bit with the worry, but I forced it out of my mind. He was a smart boy, he could take care of himself.

Mostly.

While Edward was on the other side of the deck, I pulled out my cell phone and called Aro, making arrangements for the night. Edward joined me a few minutes later, and he pulled out his phone.

"Can I take our picture?" he asked, blushing.

"Only if you send it to me," I replied. He stood next to me and I draped my arm around his shoulder and leaned my head toward him. Holding the phone up away from us, we smiled as he took the picture. When he turned it around, we saw ourselves grinning with the skyline in the background. I grabbed his hand. "Ready to go? We've got one more stop," I said. Nodding, he turned and let me led him from the deck to the elevators and down to the lobby, never once did he let go of my hand. "You know I'm on the clock now, right?" I asked. Glancing at his watch, he was surprised.

"You're right, I reserved you for three o'clock. Where did the day go? It's going too fast," he said as we walked through the crowded lobby. Stepping outside, I glanced around and quickly spotted the car.

"Cab?" he asked as he looked up and down the street for one.

"No, my driver is here." I motioned to the black Towncar parked across the street with Aro leaning against it. Edward looked confused, and a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, it's policy, while I'm on the clock, he goes where I go. That alright?"

"Yeah," he said hesitantly.

"It's just that…well, you're technically a client right now, this is paid time, so he has to accompany me," I explained quietly. "He's cool, trust me," I encouraged, tugging on the lapel of his jacket. We jogged across the street and Aro opened the back door.

"Afternoon, sir," he smiled at us. "Beautiful flowers," he smiled, nodding down toward the purple flowers in my hand.

"Hi, Aro, this is Edward. Edward, my driver, Aro," I introduced them, proud of myself for even thinking to do so.

"Mr. Cullen," Aro responded, bowing his head. "Nice to meet you," he smiled.

"You too," Edward smiled as he climbed into the back seat and slid over to make room for me. Before I got in, I mouthed my thanks to Aro. After he shut the door, he got in behind the wheel and looked at me in the mirror.

"Where to, sir?" Aro asked, pulling out onto the street.

"The waterfront, but take the scenic route," I replied, winking at him in the mirror before I leaned back in my seat and turned my head toward Edward. He was staring out the window, much like a child would, his eyes full of wonder as he stared up at the skyscrapers.

Vaguely, I recalled doing the same thing when my parents had taken me to Houston when I was about five or six. It had been exciting to be woken up by my pa in the middle of the night, put into the car with my blanket and teddy bear, my parents chattering away in the front seat as I dozed off in the backseat, lulled to sleep by the motion of the car. When I had woken up it was daylight and we were in a city, Houston they had told me, and I stared in awe at the tall buildings. When they found the address they were looking for, they ran inside, my mother telling me 'only for a minute, silly boy, we'll be right back'.

Then they were gone.

Night fell around me and I pulled my blankie tight around myself to keep warm. I had spent the entire day in the backseat of the car, watching the people walk by, some noticing me and turning away, others not even seeing me, until a tall thin man with long hair and drawings on his arms suddenly opened the door and pulled me out. I cried as he carried my like a football into the brick building where my parents had gone hours before.

My teddy bear was still in the car.

Telling me to 'shut the fuck up' as I sobbed and struggled against him, he ambled up a few flights of stairs. He opened a green door and walked in, tossing me onto a small couch. I jumped off and ran into the corner of the room, covering myself with my blankie. Hungry, thirsty and worried about my teddy bear, I hid under my blankie for hours, maybe even days.

The long haired guy walked over and pulled the blanket from my head, tapping me with his foot, asking me if I had 'pissed my pants because it sure as shit smelled like it', I shook my head no. I didn't know what that was, but I hadn't done anything wrong, I hadn't even moved. Pulling the blanket down more, he saw the dark spot on my pajamas between my legs, and covering most of my thighs. With a disgusted look, he called into another room. 'Haley, come clean up your fuckin kid' he yelled. A minute later, my mama stumbled into the room, using the walls for balance. As she neared me, I realized it wasn't really my mama, it was the ghost she became when she and my pa had fun. Her eyes weren't their normal brown color, but duller, empty looking, her nose was red and her hand shook as she reached down for me, 'c'mere silly boy,' she slurred. With great effort, she picked me up, her hands holding my butt as I wrapped my tiny legs around her and buried my face in her neck. 'mama,' I began crying, 'I miss my teddy'. 'ssshh' she told me, promising me teddy was just fine in the car. In a small, dirty bathroom she stripped off my clothes and put me in a tub of cold water, telling me to wash up. Shivering, I ran a bar of soap over me but when I looked up, she was sleeping against the wall by the toilet.

I stayed in the tub.

For hours.

People came and went from the bathroom, never noticing, or caring about the little boy with the chattering teeth in the tub.

After that day, I never wanted to go to the big city again.

"Hey," his knee nudged mine, 'what are you thinking about?" His voice was soft and smooth and even though my heart had begun racing at the memory of my childhood, once he spoke, it raced for an entirely different reason.

"You," I began, sliding my hand up his thigh to his crotch, "and my mouth on your cock," I finished with a whisper into his ear before taking the lobe into my mouth. His body jerked at the touch, and I felt his legs trembling under my hand.

"What are you doing?" he asked through clenched teeth as his eyes darted to the rearview mirror. My fingers deftly undid the button of his jeans. Pulling his zipper down, I moved my lips to his neck and mumbled against his skin.

"I want to give you a blow job, got a problem with that?"

"Jasper," he hissed as I pulled the flaps of his jeans open and palmed his cock through the material of his briefs. He was already hard. "We're in a car," he stated the obvious and I chuckled.

"The windows are tinted," I replied, my hand slipping under the wide elastic of his underwear. Flesh on flesh, I wrapped my fingers around his cock, pleased at the amount of precum that had already seeped from the slit. "God, you're so ready for me, you want me, Edward. You want my mouth on your cock, don't you?"

Closing his eyes, he laid his head back against the seat and exhaled. "Fuck yes, but…but…a car."

I almost told him I had given more head in a car than I had in a bed. It was actually where I was more comfortable. There wasn't anything sexual I couldn't do in a car. I had even had a threesome in the backseat of a Cadillac.

"I don't think you really care where we are, as long as my lips are tightly sealed around your dick," I smiled against his neck before pulling his jacket down his shoulders so I could undo the buttons of his shirt. He gasped as each one popped through their small hole. I watched his face, his body shuddering once they were all done and I pulled his shirt open, exposing his sculpted chest and abdomen. Without hesitation, I leaned over and took one of his nipples into my mouth, nibbling it as my hand slowly began to move up and down his cock. Pulling back, I watched his face as my hand worked him, the flush that had crept to his cheeks, the way his long lashes moved as his eyes fluttered opened and closed a few times. I loved his reactions to my touch, the way his lips parted and his tongue darted out to lick them, the way his hands balled into fists even though there wasn't anything to grasp, the way his cock twitched every time I spoke.

Moving in the seat for a better angle, I pulled his briefs down over his erection and enjoyed the view for a few seconds while my hand continued to languidly stroke him. His head rested against the seat, his eyes closed, jacket pulled down and bunched up around his arms, his crisp white shirt opened, his chest heaving. His jeans were undone and open and his hard cock was pulsing in my hand. When I felt his hips start to move up into my grip, I bent over and sealed my lips around him.

"Jesus," he exclaimed, jerking his body from me as the same time his hands dived into my hair, fisting it. Releasing him, I looked up at him.

"Do you want me to stop, Edward?" I asked, knowing the answer long before he did. Shaking his head, I smiled smugly. "Then open your eyes and watch me."

Aro cleared his throat from the front seat. "Sir, would you like the window up?" he asked in his usual professional manner. Edward's eyes widened when he remembered Aro was only feet away and could see and hear everything.

"Do you want the window up, Edward? I'm sure Aro wouldn't mind having it down," I murmured, my warm breath washing over the head of his cock. "Would you, Aro?"

"Not at all, sir," he chuckled.

Edward glanced at Aro, and then at me just as I let my tongue out to trace the ridge and whatever words he was going to say were lost as I pressed my tongue into the slit.

"Fuck," he groaned, all thoughts of being watched gone from his mind. "So fucking….oh my God," he cried out, his hips lifting off the seat as I devoured his cock, my nose tickled by his hairs. Long fingers never stopped their movement in my hair, twisting my curls, tugging them, softly brushing them off my face. Panting, he strained to keep his hips still while I bobbed once up and down his erection. "Up," he finally requested.

Releasing him, I spoke to Aro. "Can you put the window up, please?" I smiled at him in the mirror. Immediately the window began to slide up.

"Of course, and sir? Tissues are under the seat."

"Thanks, Aro, but I'll make sure I clean him up."

I barely saw his wink before the window closed completely, the tinted glass shielding us from his view. I had no problem performing my job in with someone watching, and had done exactly that many times. Less self conscious once the window was up, Edward began to moan loudly, his hands in my hair guiding my pace as his hips could no longer remain still and began to buck up off the seat. My lips easily moved up and down his salvia slicked cock. Letting him go, I flicked my tongue around the head and under the ridge, tracing the thick vein that ran down the underside. Frustrated with his clothing and not being to reach his balls, I pulled away and began kissing his stomach as it clenched while I stroked him.

"Do you know how much I want to fuck you right now? Take these pants off you, sit you on my lap and fuck you so hard that everyone in the city can hear you scream when you come."

Pressing his head into the back of the seat, he lifted his ass up. "More," he said.

One word but it said so fucking much. I watched my hand pumping him, precum running down the head of his cock, lubing him. Moving back to his cock, I took him in my mouth again, hollowing my cheeks and sucking with abandon, my hand squeezing under to his balls, rolling them, soft and heated, in my palm. When his cock tapped the back of my throat, I swallowed at the same time.

It was his undoing.

"Fuck, Jasper…coming," he grunted, his entire body tensing as his cock erupted thick, warm cum into my mouth and down my throat. Forcefully, his hands kept my head solidly to him. "Suck me…please." I continued to suck around him, long after his sated body had relaxed back into the seat, long after his fingers had loosened their grip on my hair, long after his breath had slowed. When I finally released him, he had actually started to get hard again, but fell limp against his underwear. With that new crooked smile, he lazily turned his head toward me. "You're incredible," he sighed, making no effort to put his cock away or do up his shirt, but he did lift his hand to my face, pushing a few curls behind my ear.

Swallowing hard, my eyes darted between the fuck me stare he was giving me and his full lips that just begged to be around my dick. My body started to shake with the thought of taking him in the back seat, of doing exactly what I had described to him. Breathing heavily, I forced my gaze away, my cheeks heating up under his compliment and tender touch.

The warmth low in my stomach, the need and desire I had for him, was strengthened by the fucking pull. They were all working together, in tandem, fucking revolting against my own body and mind. Why him, I wondered, staring at his square jaw as he continued to run his hands through my hair. What was it about him that not only my body craved, but my soul as well? I barely knew him, and yet, I felt like I knew him already.

"What about you, Jasper?" he whispered, "Do you want me to…" he trailed off, his face flushing.

"No, that was all for you." I leaned over and kiss him, slowly, leisurely before running my nails down his chest. "We've got all night." Learning over, kissed him, my tongue entering his mouth, sharing his taste. Pulling away, I shifted my weight to relieve the ache in my cock. "Baby, we need to get you dressed," I murmured. When I felt his body tremble, the butterflies in my stomach turned into hummingbirds and they were beating their fucking wings. He arched his back and pulled up his pants, tucking himself back before doing them up. I buttoned his shirt, telling him it was a shame to cover up. We spent the rest of the ride kissing, our lips meeting in brief, but passionate, touches.

Each time we touched my body hummed, like the after effects of being shocked, every part of me was awake, alert and completely wanting to feel it again and again. What he gave me was a high of sorts, and I was becoming an addict.

What was worse…I didn't fucking care.

About twenty minutes later, Aro pulled up into a parking space. I tapped on the window and he lowered it.

"We're here, sir," he said as got out and opened out door. I climbed out first, and waited beside Aro for Edward, who kept his eyes downcast and cheeks pink as he straightened out his jacket. His embarrassment was a fucking turn on.

I wanted to take him right there.

Aro couldn't resist. "Did you enjoy the scenery?" he smirked. Edward glanced at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Scenery has never felt so good, Aro," Edward returned with shy smile. Chuckling, Aro shut the door.

"An hour sir?"

"Yes, we'll meet you here in an hour," I agreed and took Edward's hand again. We made our way along the small board walk, popping into a few shops. Edward purchased a wind chime for his mother and I bought a new scented candle. Occasionally we held hands, sometimes we just walked. When we came to a tall box at the entrance of an arcade, Edward stopped me.

"Oh my God, I haven't seen one of these since I was a kid," he said as he tugged my hand and dragged me closer. There was a heavy blue curtain covering an opening on the side and a place for dollar bills on the outside next to a few buttons.

I had no fucking clue what it was.

"We used to vacation in San Diego, their boardwalk had one of these, Alice and I always did them, making funny faces and stuff. Sometimes, they actually come out pretty good," he recalled as the looked it over. "Can we do it?" he asked me excitedly.

Do what? I had no idea what he wanted me to do and felt embarrassed not knowing what I was standing in front of. Quickly, I glanced around to try to pick up clues. The design on the booth was bright colors and showed random people's faces.

Was it like peep show? You go in and pay money and watch a quick porn video while you jack off? Seemed plausible that Edward would want to do that with me. Shrugging, I smiled and said, "Sure."

Almost giddy, he took out a few dollars and just as he went to put them in the slot, I stopped him.

"Wait," I said, grabbing his wrist and he looked at me. "Edward, I…fuck, this is really embarrassing, but I don't know what this is. I don't know what you want me to do in there," I admitted very quietly. At first he looked at me like I was joking but when he realized I was serious, he brought a hand up to my cheek.

"Jasper," he began in a soothing voice. "It's a photo booth. You go inside and sit on this tiny seat and there is a camera that takes your picture four times, and then you wait for a minute and it gives you the pictures right away. I think with cell phones now they have become almost extinct, but they used be very popular. You never did one with your friends?"

Biting my lip, I shook my head, letting my hair fall over my eyes. I think the only time my picture had ever been taken before coming to the Service had been when I entered the Home and they took my picture for my file. I might have had a few class pictures taken when I was in grade school but I couldn't recall.

I had definitely not had it done in a booth.

"Come on," he said, "It's fun, you'll see." He turned and put the money in and then darted into the booth, tugging my hand. The inside was tiny, and Edward sat down and pulled me onto his lap, couldn't help but groan as his hands went to my thighs to keep me from falling. "That light there will flash a few times and when it turns green it will take the picture. It's bright flash, so you got to be ready."

His enthusiasm was contagious and I nodded eagerly. "Do we do anything special?"

"Like?"

"Well, you said you and Alice made funny faces," I hinted.

"Oh, we definitely have to do some funny faces," he laughed. "Okay, ready?" he asked, his hand poised over a large button. "Once I press this, it's going to start."

He pressed the button and we both burst out in laughter, the camera taking our picture mid-laugh, the next one we were more prepared and both grinned into the lens, then Edward stuck out his tongue and rolled his eyes while I pulled my lips apart and clenched my eyes. For the last one, Edward reached up and turned my face to him, kissing me on the mouth just as the flash brightened the small space.

The pictures were developed and waiting for us while we made out of the booth. Turning, I straddled his lap, grinding my hips into his as I buried my hands in his hair and plunged my tongue into his delicious mouth while his hands groped my ass. Moaning into the kiss, I fucking ached to have him, to touch him, without the barrier of the clothing.

Panting, I pulled away and gave him a lazy smile. "The things I'm going to do to you later," I promised with one last thrust of my hips. "I hope those rooms are soundproofed."

"I paid extra for a soundproofed room," he countered, and I wasn't sure if he we joking or not. Climbing off him, we got up and exited to find our pictures waiting for us. We started laughing again when we saw the result of the funny faces, but the one of us kissing made my cock twitch. Edward put them in his pocket and we picked up our bags and went back to the car to drop them off. I told Aro we were going to walk along the beach. We took off our jackets and shoes and headed for the sand.

At the water's edge, Edward picked up a rock and skimmed it along the top of the water with skill. He did a few more times and I watched in awe.

"How do you that?" I asked, tilting my head.

"You never skimmed rocks in Texas?" he asked staring at the sand looking for another rock. I shook my head and sighed. Being with Edward made me realize how much I had missed, how little time I had actually been a boy, a child, before I had been forced to grow up. How many other typical kid things besides 'skimming rocks' and having my picture taken had I missed? With Riley and others on the street, childhoods were rarely talked about, I had shared a bit of mine with Riley, he knew of my past, but we never talked about what we did and didn't do.

I bet even Riley knew how to skim rocks.

"No," I said, hesitantly as I watched him pick up and another swing his arm back.

"You sure led a sheltered life, Jasper," he glanced at me with a strange look. He was more than curious, he was suspicious about these basic childhood things I was clueless about.

Now, if he had asked me how to make a fifteen year old boy come when one of the Home mothers was only a few feet away, I could tell him. But throwing rocks? I was clueless.

"I guess I did," I agreed, at least in part. "Will you show me?"

"Sure," he smiled. "Look for flat rock, preferably circular but any shape will do." He and I scoured the sand, feeling it sink between our toes as we nudged rocks aside to find good ones. Finally, I spotted one and picked it up, offering it to him. "Perfect. Now put it in your hand like this," he said as he demonstrated how to hold it resting in the fleshy spot between my thumb and index finger. "Curl your finger around it, leaving this part open."

I imitated him and he nodded. "Exactly, then bring back your arm and throw it out. The key is to release it evenly, don't bring your arm up to high or two low, it will just plop into the water, you want it to land on the water flat so it skips across it."

He brought his arm back and with the skill of a little league pitcher, he swung his arm and released the rock. It hit the water and the skipped three times before sinking.

"Your turn," he said. Following his instructions, I brought my arm back and then flung it forward, releasing the rock. Splashing as it hit the water, it skipped once and then sank. "Not bad for your first time," he said proudly. We continued to walk, casting occasional good stones into the water, but even after a dozen times, I could only get it skip twice.

"Jasper, can I ask you something?" he asked while we walked, the water splashing around our feet. My mind raced, I knew what was coming. I was pissed at myself for letting too many things slip, for making him too curious, I should have just kept my mouth shut.

But part of me wanted to tell him, wanted him to know how damaged I was, what he was getting into when he was with me, how I would never be normal like him. Maybe I was trying to sabotage whatever it was that I felt with him, maybe I wanted him to be afraid of me and run away so he wouldn't get hurt.

And maybe I just wanted him to know who I was.

Against my better judgment, I nodded.

Keeping his eyes on the sand at his feet, he bit his lip. "If this is too personal, don't answer, I understand it's none of my business, but…how did you become an escort?"

There it was.

_Because I was so good as sex I thought I might as well get paid for it._

Swallowing, I considered his question and the best way to answer it without lying.

He sensed my hesitation and spoke up. "It's okay, don't answer it. It was rude of me to ask."

"No, it's okay," I said, partially lying. "Tanya discovered me when she was walking down the street one day. Said I had the look she was looking for and invited me for an interview. She asked me some questions, found out I wasn't in college and offered me a nice amount of money and some other perks that were too hard to resist. It was better than my current position so I took it."

"Do you…do you like it?" he asked quietly.

_It was better than being raped or working the streets. _

"It's fantastic money, and I have a great apartment. I can afford things I didn't even know existed before. There are some clients I could do without, but for the most part, they are okay. Some are even pretty damn hot," I finished winking at him.

"How did you end up in Seattle?"

Sighing, I stopped walking and he stopped with me. Reaching out I took his hand and brought it up for kiss. "Can we save that topic for another day?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course," he gave me a small smile. "You know," he said, beginning to walk again, still holding my hand. "That bj in the car was pretty fucking hot," he blushed.

"You liked that huh?" I pushed his shoulder with mine. "I thought you might."

"Definitely. I've always had to keep my public displays hidden, hell I've been afraid to even look at a guy for years but out here, I can be a bit freer and it's so nice."

"That was definitely free," I laughed. "You were hot, half undressed, with your hard cock."

"Jasper," he chided embarrassed glancing around us.

"No one can hear us," I assured him and started walking again, still holding his hand. "Tell me something about yourself?"

"There isn't anything to tell. I work, and I work some more," he answered, a bit sad.

"Then tell me something from your childhood." Perhaps I could live vicariously through him. He thought for a few minutes and then reached up to his hair and pulled it back from his forehead.

"See that small scar?" he asked and I squinted in the sun and sure enough saw a tiny white scar in his hairline. "I got that when I was ten. Alice and I were playing a game of baseball. We had a few friends over and we were playing in our backyard. Well I was up to bat and Alice was pitching. For petite girl, she was pretty good and strong, but she wound up and threw the ball and beamed me right there, knocked me out cold. The next thing I know, I wake up on the couch, my mother dabbing a wet cloth to my head. It wouldn't stop bleeding. Hurt like hell too. Doctor came to the house and gave me six stitches," he was almost laughing at the memory.

"I bet you never let her pitch again."

"Nope, banned her from pitching after that. I swear she did it on purpose, but she denied it of course."

He told me a few more stories about him and Alice. I said it must have been nice to have a sibling. Maybe things would have turned out differently for me if I had another to survive hell with me, someone that I could rely on.

But I had gone through it alone.

And as I walked along the beach holding hands with a beautiful boy, I wondered if I had to go it alone anymore. I wondered what it might feel like to have someone in my corner, looking out for me, supporting me and just…caring.

I wondered if Edward might be that someone.

After walking in silence for a few minutes Edward suggested we turn and head back to the car. We skipped a few more rocks along the way and then Edward stopped and bent over, using his long fingers he brushed the sand off a shell half buried in the brown grains. He picked it up and turned the delicate piece over in his hands.

"Isn't it nice?" he asked holding it up for my inspection. I agreed and examined the intricate design of tans and whites.

"What is it?"

Shrugging, he replied, "I don't know, but I'm going to keep it. Remind me of this day always." He curled his fingers around and we continued walking. A few minutes later, we reached Aro, who handed us a towel to try our feet off with before we climbed into the back of the car. Getting in behind the wheel, he looked in the mirror.

"Where to, sir?"

"Renaissance Hotel," I answered.

"Would you like me to take the scenic route so that you might enjoy it?" he asked as he backed out of the space. I chuckled at his hinting that Edward might want to reciprocate the blow job from earlier.

"No, that's okay, I'm sure I will enjoy the scenery later this evening," I smiled. Nodding, he turned onto the street and headed for the hotel. Edward put his fingers on my chin and turned my face to his before kissing me, his thumb stroking my cheek as his tongue traced my lips.

When he pulled away, he put his forehead to mine and whispered, "Thank you for a wonderful day, Jasper."

"It's not over yet, baby," I winked. With a happy sigh, Edward laid his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes, his hand holding mine in my lap.

It was one of the happiest moments in my life.

"**~~**"

**Epov**~

It had been such a surreal day. The best day of my life actually, but I wasn't sure if that should have been a bad thing. My first date was with a man I paid to fuck me.

When he had showed up at my hotel room, looking more sexy than anyone should have been allowed to in a casual polo shirt and jeans, I had been ridiculously ecstatic. Then, I had smelled his previous _client_. The distinctive scent of sex and what seemed to be a disgusting cologne or aftershave had suffocated his normal delicious scent and I had immediately pushed him away. I hadn't meant to be so harsh but I was so...angry.

Not at Jasper, but at the man who had had him previously.

Touched him, kissed him, fucked him. Made him come.

Images of another man bringing Jasper pleasure, making him moan or scream or beg, sucking his cock or -even worse, making Jasper suck his - had flashed in my mind and all I wanted to do was track him down and let him know that Jasper was _mine. _

It had been ridiculous, of course. Jasper wasn't mine, and he had only been doing his job. That's why I had felt so terrible for being so awful to him about it. The jealousy I had felt had been uncalled for; I had no right to be jealous, much less angry, about what he did with other people.

They paid for him the same way I did.

It didn't make it hurt any less though.

Not only had another man been with Jasper, he had also taken him away from me for the night. I had even offered more money and he had still won. Losing was not something I was accustomed to. When I wanted something, I got it. Nothing, or no one, stopped me. That was the Cullen way. I had never worried about my competition; I knew they didn't stand a chance against me. My name and money could solve any problem I came up against.

Though, apparently, not with Jasper.

I made up my mind that I would just have to plan ahead. Request Jasper for the entire weekend before someone else could beat me to him. I refused to lose again. I wanted him and I was going to have him.

Jasper hadn't held my reaction against me though and instead kissed my shame away while we sat at the piano.

After leaving the hotel, we walked down the street and my heart raced. I was walking down a street, in daylight and public with a man.

A gay man.

Sure, an escort, but none of the people we passed by knew that. They saw two guys, friends maybe, possibly lovers, walking and talking and laughing,

It wasn't until the urge to reach for his hand could not be denied that we solidified that we were a couple. Our hands had brushed more than once in our close proximity and standing at a stoplight, I glanced once around me and then I finally did it.

I let my fingers crawl into his.

I had held his hand before, a lot actually. But it was different out there, under the watchful, sometimes hateful, stares of others.

His grip was warm and comforting and secure. We continued to the first place on his agenda and the entire time I had held hands.

With a boy.

With Jasper.

In public.

I wanted to do it more.

He had taken me to the first Starbucks and I was a little reluctant to admit how exciting that actually was for me. Not only was it was practically a national monument, but it was such a …normal thing to do. Couples wake up, have sex and then go get coffee. Well, maybe we hadn't woken up together, and he had the sex with another but we did get the coffee together…holding hands. The longer we were in public, the less I found myself glancing around constantly for someone that might recognize me, and the more I found myself being his lover.

I had known that buying him flowers was a relatively cheesy thing to do but I had seen it done numerous times in movies and my father bought flowers for my mother all the time, and I just wanted to make Jasper smile.

It had worked.

Looking more beautiful than anything I had ever seen, he had graced me with a wide smile and sparkling eyes, making the desire that I felt toward him so much stronger that I just had to kiss him. So with a racing heart, I choked out how beautiful he was and then without a second thought, I leaned in and kissed him. Delicate, lush lips returned my kiss, and I could tell he was resisting the urge to deepen it, although I'm not entirely sure I would have resisted if he had.

It had definitely been a day of firsts and I had been so pleased that it had been with Jasper.

As Jasper had shown me around the city, I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to have him with me every day; waking up next to him, coming home to him, bringing him with me to family dinners at my parent's house- normal things that normal couples would do. I had let myself believe it to be true, even if only for the day.

Up until we had run into Daniel.

My entire body threatened to give out when I had seen him standing in the lobby of the Space Needle and I had ripped my hand from Jasper's forcefully, immediately slipping into business mask I wore every day. I had felt terrible about having to lie about who Jasper was, hell, I wasn't even able to say his last name because I didn't know it. I had been tempted to just come out right then and there but I knew I couldn't. Regardless, I had been really close to telling Daniel to fuck off when I heard the way he spoke to Jasper. It hadn't been overtly rude or even that impolite, but the condescending undertone was definitely there.

It was part of our upbringing; the need to challenge every person we came up against –especially if it was a member of another company. We had to establish a sense of dominance, an underlying warning that we didn't take any bullshit, no matter who or what we were dealing with. Even though I had understood why Daniel had acted the way he did, it didn't mean that I liked it. Not with Jasper.

Luckily, Jasper had appeared unfazed, taking everything Daniel said in stride with a challenging tone of his own. I had been impressed, most people were intimidated by people like Daniel and me but Jasper seemed perfectly at ease, the same air of confidence pouring off of him as if Daniel was just another client.

After the awkward and nerve-racking run in with Daniel, we had moved inside for lunch. I had originally planned for it to be a simple meal, just Jasper and I spending time together. Never would I have anticipated the declarations we had both made. I mean we hadn't vowed our lifelong love to one another or anything but it was enough. Hearing that he felt...something for me, even if neither one of us had been able to describe what it was, meant more than I could have ever hoped for. Being open with him about not being out of the closet was a relief too, I hoped that it might explain some of my hesitant ways when it came to doing the normal, everyday couple things.

As we had walked along the beach, I had barely been able to contain my happiness. Everything he did or said had made my chest swell, almost painfully, with a tingling warmth that continued to grow as the day went on. How his hand stayed in mine or the way his eyes lit up when he smiled at me and my previous train of thoughts had come back.

I had been thinking of Jasper as a possession, something for me to stake my claim on and not the truly magnificent human being that he was. I had been angry and thinking selfishly, treating Jasper as if he was a car that other people borrowed and didn't clean out when they were finished. As terrible as the analogy was, it was true. I only hoped that Jasper hadn't really felt that way and if he did, I was going to change it.

I would prove that he was more than just an escort to me. Even though I couldn't really identify what it was that I was feeling, I knew that it was more.

I had also sworn to myself that I would, eventually, find out more about Jasper's past, hell even his last name would be nice. It didn't escape me that he had been avoiding certain topics in hopes to not have to explain anything, which had been fine with me. I could be patient. However, his lack of knowledge about things, normal childhood experiences, made my heart ache a bit, as well as wonder how the hell he had miss so much, such simple things that every kid should have done. Had he just been incredibly sheltered, like raised in a cult or something or was it more that he had simple grown up way too fast?

What boy doesn't know how to skim rocks, and what kid has never done a photo booth before? There was a reason for the lack of simple childhood joys, and I had only hoped that at some point, he would feel comfortable enough to confide in me.

"Baby? We're here," Jasper's soft voice broke my swirling thoughts.

"Thank you, Aro," I told him as we slid out of the back seat and out the door he was holding.

"Anytime, Mr. Cullen."

Once we were back in the room, I felt Jasper's arm wrap around my waist from behind. "Would you like to take a shower with me?"

Smiling, I turned my head and placed a soft kiss on his luscious mouth. "Mmm, that sounds perfect."

We took our time in the shower, washing each other thoroughly, Jasper paying special attention to my cock, edging me for long, glorious moments before finally bringing me to orgasm with his mouth, my head dropping back as loud groans escaped me. I eagerly returned the favor, enjoying the way he became so vocal the closer he got to coming. After I swallowed him down, I glanced up at him and grinned.

Stroking my cheek with his fingertip he looked at me questioningly. "I guess you got to enjoy the scenery," I chuckled to his unanswered question. We washed each other once more with sensual touches and soft kisses until we finally stepped out and dried off. Dressed in only our robes, we ordered room service and then lounged on the sofa, wrapped up in one another, exchanging kisses and tender caresses as we waited for our food.

"I know I've already said this but...today has been amazing, Jasper. Thank you so much for sharing it with me."

Gracing me with my favorite dimpled grin, he kissed his way to my ear and whispered, "It's not over yet, baby."

There it was again, that word. The one that was quickly become my favorite word ever, especially when it fell from his lips. The ease of which he said it, reverently even, made me wonder, for just a second, if he called all his clients that name. But when I looked into his eyes when he said it, the storm rising in them, I knew he didn't.

It was mine and mine alone.

When I heard the knock at the door, I let the waiter in and asked him to set it up at the dining room table. After tipping him, he quickly made his way out and Jasper and I took our seats. Toasting to a great day, Jasper with apple juice again and me with a glass of wine, I smiled widely and held his hand for a moment longer before cutting into my steak.

"What's your family like?" he asked after taking a sip of his drink.

Laughing, I said, "Like any other family, I suppose. Nosey and intrusive." He smiled and I continued. "No, they are...great, actually. My father is dedicated to his work, but he is devoted to us. I swear, if you could see the way he still looks at my mother, even after all these years..." I shook my head with a gentle smile.

"And Alice?"

"Alice is quite a character. She's attending the Parsons School of Fashion. She comes home at least once every few months though. Even if it is only to irritate me," I smirked.

He laughed softly and a wistful look appeared on his face very briefly. I assumed he was thinking about his lack of family and I felt terrible for him, and even worse that I had so easily talked about mine. Taking them for granted was something I had done often and imagining how empty Jasper's life must have been without anyone made my chest ache. We continued talking through the rest of dinner and I chose to avoid any topic that was related to family, not wanting to see that look on Jasper's face again. Once we finished, Jasper led me to the bedroom and opened the closet.

"Get dressed. Nothing too fancy, just nice. I'm ready to for the second half of our date," he winked and kissed me chastely before grabbing his bag from beside the bed and going to the guest bathroom.

Nervous and excited, I searched through my limited wardrobe and had a fleeting thought to call Alice for advice. Finally, I decided on a pair of black slacks and a dark blue button down shirt, a leather belt and black loafers. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I attempted, and failed, to tame my unruly hair as my stomach was in knots in anticipation of where he was going to take me. No amount of gel or brushing could get it to lie down and I silently cursed my parents for giving me such aggravating hair. Eventually, I gave up and huffed in frustration, straightening out my clothes again and leaving the bathroom.

My breath hitched when I spotted Jasper.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he was leaning back on his palms with his legs spread wide. He wore a black polo style shirt that some type of silver oriental design on the front, worn blue jeans and black boots. His hair, apparently easily tamed, hung loosely around his face and had been brushed.

He looked so damn sexy.

"Wow," he said lowly, sauntering towards me and raking his eyes over my body. "Fuck, maybe we should just stay in."

"You look incredible," I exclaimed, pulling him to me and attaching my lips to his neck, his freshly sprayed cologne tangy on my lips but worth it as long as I got to feel the beating of his pulse under my lips.

"Edward," he growled, snapping my hips to his to rub our hard cocks together. "If you don't stop, we'll never leave this hotel room."

"Mmhmm," I hummed, not really seeing why staying in would be such a bad thing at that point.

Pushing me away gently, he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Get your sexy ass to the car, Mr. Cullen. I won't let you distract me any longer." I pouted, and he laughed deeply. "I promise you won't be disappointed. Besides, the longer I make you wait, the more you'll need me later," he grinned wickedly and began dragging me toward the door.

After greeting Aro again, we climbed into the black car and pulled away from the hotel, Jasper's hand reaching across the seat to find mine. After a very short ride, the car stopped. While we waited for Aro, I turned to Jasper.

"Really? He drives you to a place that's only three minutes away?"

He nodded. "Yep. If I'm working, he is with me. He even has to wait while I'm…." he trailed off, not finishing his train of thought to save my heart a bit of ache. Aro opened the door and we stepped out, a bright neon sign catching my attention. It read 'Neighbours' and I looked at Jasper with a quirked brow.

"Come on," he took my hand and pulled me toward the door. "We're here early so we won't have to deal with a line."

"Have fun," Aro called behind us.

At the doorway, I got out my ID, as did Jasper, and we flashed them to the bouncer. I caught a quick glimpse of Jasper's card and while I couldn't see any details, I noticed it was not your typical driver's license. I wondered if he even had one, it made sense, he lived in a city and had a driver; he really had no need for a license. They stamped Jasper's hand and we entered. All I could see was darkness and a faint flashing of light. As we stepped in, I realized it was a night club. I briefly wondered why he had been so secretive about bringing me there, I had been to a night club once before and I had heard Alice talk of them numerous times. Walking through a thick crowd, the flashing lights got brighter and the dance music got louder, swirls of patrons' conversations reached my ears as we pushed forward. When we reached a clearing in the crowd, my eyes immediately landed on a sight I never thought I'd see.

A large dance floor with two tall columns on either side with caged, male dancers, the bright strobe lights making their skin sparkle, suspended above it.

That wasn't the shocking part.

The place was filled with half naked, sweaty, writhing men.

Sexy men.

Gay men.

I noticed Jasper was staring at me with an amused expression on his face as I gawked at the sea of bodies. Glancing back at him, I'm sure my face reflected my shock.

And my instant arousal.

"You're drooling," he teased, pretending to wipe away something from my chin.

"I've never..." I trailed off, gesturing toward the crowded dance floor with a nod of my head.

"I figured," he replied, slipping his arm around my waist. "That's why I brought you here."

I fidgeted uncomfortably, unsure of how to act or what to say. The atmosphere was so unlike anything I had ever been to; men writhing against each other, groping and kissing openly. Leather pants, tight tee shirts, if any at all, some with glitter or neon paint, flashing strobe lights and loud music.

It was...dirty.

It was Sodom and Gomorrah.

It was perfect.

Everything I had ever wanted but couldn't have.

Taking my silence the wrong way, his brow furrowed and he cupped my cheek in his palm. "Hey, is this okay? If you aren't comfortable-"

I cut him off with a firm kiss. "Jasper, this is more than okay. This is..." Once again I was unable to finish my sentence, the words, which would have been completely inadequate for what I was feeling, caught in my throat as I looked back out to the dance floor and my cock twitched. Since Jasper and I were pressed so close together, he felt it. A slow, sexy grin spread across his face before his eyes raked down my body, leaning away from me a bit to drop his gaze to my dick.

"Well, apparently this is okay," he smirked and kissed me.

After several long moments of his soft lips pressed to mine, he pulled back and smiled again. "Come on, let's get you a drink."

Holding my hand, he pulled me forward toward the bar. The place was packed, men and a few women talking and laughing, dancing very intimately with one another. The music was loud, pounding in my ears in a way I had never heard before, it was something upbeat and every time the bass hit, I felt it vibrate the black tile under my feet.

We came upon a large, semi circle bar, the marble top flecked with bits of neon paint. It was lined with black high rise barstools. Behind the bar was the largest array of liquor I had ever seen - everything from the most expensive tequila to the cheapest beer.

Jasper dropped my hand and leaned on the bar, looking back at me over his shoulder. "What are you drinking?"

"Uh," I stuttered, unable to think of any alcoholic beverage because two barstools down from where I was standing, two men were pushed closed together and making out. I wasn't trying to stare but it was just so...hot.

Sweat beaded across my brow and I suddenly felt very, very warm.

Jasper's laugh made me snap back to attention. "Uh...white Russian is fine," I finally said to the bartender that had been waiting for me to decide, not really sure if I actually liked white Russians or not, but it was the first thing that had popped into my head.

Maybe the boys making out were Russian.

"Hello, there," a smooth voice whispered in my ear.

Surprised, I jumped a bit and spun around, my eyes falling on a sculpted, very bare chest. About four inches taller than my six foot three build, he towered over me, barrel-chested and huge biceps, his form reminded me of Emmett. Finally raising my eyes to his face, a perfect row of bright white teeth appeared behind thin lips as he smiled at me. Dark eyes and dark hair, even the cut he wore reminded me of my best friend.

I gulped and stammered out a weak, "Hi."

To be nervous was not standard for me, I was calm, cool, collected…usually. I was about as far out of my element as possible, and I was loving every minute of it, even if my heart raced painfully in my chest.

"Now what's a pretty little thing like you doing standing here all alone?" His large hand came up and he ran one finger from the side of my neck down my chest where the buttons of my shirt had been left open. I watched his finger and then looked back at him, utterly shocked and speechless.

"He's not alone," Jasper said forcefully and I felt his arm slip around my back to rest his hand on my waist possessively.

The burly man cocked an eyebrow and glared at Jasper. "Shouldn't leave something as delectable as him alone for too long, someone better might snatch him up."

I stood completely dumbfounded as I watched Jasper and the large man challenge one another. Like peacocks strutting their feathers for the potential mate. I felt like I should have said something, defended Jasper in one way or another but I couldn't make my mouth work. Regardless that Jasper was easily outsized by the man, he didn't once consider backing down, and I would have put money on Jasper in a fight. There was a cool air about him, a confidence that he emitted that clearly said 'fuck off'. Jasper might have led a sheltered childhood, but he knew how to handle himself as a man. I wondered where he had learned to handle himself so well.

Jasper merely smirked. "I don't think that will be a problem. So far, I haven't seen anyone around here that would be any competition for me."

I had to suppress a giggle, yes, a giggle. Challenging, confident, Jasper was really sexy.

The man just glared harder for a moment before spinning around and stalking off.

Jasper just shook his head and laughed. "Here's your drink," he said motioning to the bartender behind me. Jasper handed him a twenty, telling him to keep the change and I took the drink. I continued to stare at him wide eyed, still a bit in shock of what had just happened with the big guy. Was that normal? Random men hitting on other random men? I had had my few encounters but I had always known the person, at least for a short amount of time before taking it to the next level. Talking to complete strangers about something other than business was new for me, even with the escort service it was different because we both knew why a strange man was meeting me at my hotel room. It wasn't to talk and get to know one another- it was to have sex, nothing more nothing less.

Until Jasper, of course.

"Sorry, baby," Jasper said after taking a sip of his water. "I wouldn't have thought you'd be approached so quickly but...looking the way you do, I'm not all that surprised. Just have to keep my hands on you all night, I guess."

"I think I can handle that," I smiled even a blush heated my cheeks and I took a sip of my white Russian, relatively surprised that I did actually like the flavor. As we stood, I sipped my drink a little too fast as I continued to fidget. My attention was so divided; the eye candy to my right, the grinding men on the dance floor, Jasper to my left. I didn't know what to do with myself.

My head whipped around when I felt Jasper taking my drink from my hand and I saw him set it, along with his bottle of water, on the bar.

"Come with me," he requested, leading me off to the side of the dance floor.

Confused, I let him lead me until suddenly I was pushed into a darkened corner and Jasper's lips were on mine. It was relatively empty, most of the people already dancing or standing at the bar and the lighting was poor. When I felt his hand cup my still hard cock through my jeans, I jerked.

"Jasper, what are you doing?" I practically shrieked, reaching down to still his hand. He grinned wickedly before kissing me hard, effectively pushing any rational thought from my mind until all I could think about was his hand that was still pressed against my crotch. It felt so good; his tongue swirling with mine, his body weight pressing into me, the delicious pressure on my cock. The music vibrated through my body, mixing with the familiar hum I always felt when Jasper was touching me. I felt his fingers sliding my zipper down, reaching inside to grasp my cock and I gasped, wrenching my mouth from his as my head lolled back. "Jasper, we can't do this here," I said, already a little breathless.

Kissing my neck, he worked his up to my ear and whispered, "Yes we can. No one can see anything, it just looks like we're making out." He bit my earlobe and traced the outer edge with his tongue before continuing. "I want you to fuck my hand, Edward. I want to see you come, right here, right now."

I groaned and dropped my hands to my sides, clenching my fists hard and shuddering when he pulled my cock through the fly of my jeans. Through hooded eyes, I watched intensely as he spit into his palm and wrapped his hand back around my erection, smoothly stroking it. My heart was pounding furiously; I could hear it in my ears even as the music blasted. "Jasper, I-I can't..." I trailed off with a grunt as he swiped his thumb over my slit.

Chuckling, he kissed my neck again. "It sure feels like you can." His hand stopped and I nearly whined. "Come on, baby, thrust your hips. Fuck my hand the way I know you want to."

By that point, I was so worked up and my cock was aching, it didn't matter that we were in public and that anyone could see us, all I could think was that I wanted, that I needed, more. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I slowly pushed forward, moaning softly when my cock slid through his fist. It was a teasing grip, not quite tight enough, but it still made my body quiver in pleasure. I pulled back and thrust forward again, breathing his name and begging him to kiss me.

He happily obliged.

My senses were overloaded; his scent in my lungs, his tongue in my mouth, his hand on my cock, all the voices and the music in the club, everything mixing together to push me closer and closer to that euphoric release that my body was craving.

Growling, I clenched my eyes tighter and moved my mouth from his to rest my forehead on his shoulder when he finally squeezed my erection firmly. My arms had found their way around his neck and I was fucking his hand faster, my hips slamming back into the wall every time I pulled back, only to shove forward harder and faster than before.

"You look so fucking hot right now," he exclaimed in a husky whisper in my ear. "God, I'd love to just turn you around and shove my cock inside you, fucking you so hard and deep until you sprayed your cum all over that wall."

"Jesus, fuck, Jasper...oh my God."

"I'm so hard for you, Edward. I can't wait to get you back to that hotel room and show you exactly what you do to me."

He attacked my neck, sucking and biting and licking every place he could reach. Opening my eyes, I looked up through my lashes over Jasper's shoulder, my gaze landing on a couple that was dancing seductively not far from where Jasper and I stood.

They were both sexy, one blonde and the other brunette. Shirtless and sweaty, they writhed against each other, the blonde's chest pressed against the brunettes back as his hands rested on his hips. They way they moved was such a turn on, like they were the only two in the club and the dancing was foreplay. As I watched the blonde twist and tug at the brunettes nipple rings, his head falling back onto his dance partner's shoulder, my balls began to tingle and I whimpered, thrusting my hips erratically into Jasper's slick hand.

Jasper's lips left my neck and he turned his head to glance at me, chuckling when he noticed what I was doing. "Do I have a little voyeur on my hands?"

Panting, I moaned again when the blonde's hand slid down the brunette's abs and to his crotch, rubbing his cock through his jeans, the brunette pushed his hips forward and circled them and I could see the blonde's approving smile.

"So fucking hot," I ground out through clenched teeth.

"Not nearly as sexy as you, baby."

I imagined that was me and Jasper on the dance floor, the heat of his body pressed against my back, shamelessly gripping my cock for everyone to see, letting every last guy know that I was his and his alone.

So carefree. So happy.

I was so close.

"Jasper, you're going to make me come."

He had taken over by that point, stroking my cock swiftly, dipping his thumb into my slit on every other pass. One more tight stroke and I was coming, biting down on his shoulder to muffle my scream as my legs shook and my abdomen clenched. My eyes were shut again, bright flashes of light popping behind my eyelids with every spurt of cum that left me. It wasn't until I had started coming back to earth that I realized Jasper had used his other hand to place a wad of napkins over the head of my cock, effectively keeping us clear of the large mess I had just created.

"God damn, Edward. That was so...fuck, I'm never going to be able to dance now," he laughed, kissing my lips softly.

"Yeah," I replied breathlessly. I wasn't sure why but I always seemed to lose my ability to speak eloquently immediately after an orgasm.

"Now, let's go get you another drink. I have a feeling I'll need to get you all liquored up before I drag you to the dance floor."

Still in the afterglow of my orgasm, I couldn't even muster up the energy to be nervous about dancing, my body too loose and relaxed to care. We made our way back to the bar, my blush returning as we received a few knowing smirks and winks from a few gentlemen as we passed.

At the bar, I ordered another White Russian, which I immediately took a large gulp of as he sipped his water with a smirk of his own.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," he replied with an innocent shrug. "Drink up, baby. I'm ready to see your moves."

Ignoring the slight burn, I downed the rest of my drink and set the empty cup on the bar. Grabbing my hand, he took one last gulp of his water and began leading me to the dance floor. My stomach twisted in knots and my hands started shaking. It was so crowded that we bumped into a few couples on the way to a semi-clear spot, though I didn't think they minded judging by the way they smiled at Jasper and how several groped my ass as I passed.

"Jasper, I-I don't know how to do this," I mumbled in his ear, slightly embarrassed that I didn't know what I was doing.

"Dance? But...I saw pictures. Of you at some fancy ball or something. You were dancing with a woman."

Blushing, I gave him my crooked grin. "Yes, well, I highly doubt you brought me out here to do the Viennese Waltz or the Foxtrot."

Tilting his head, he looked confused for a moment before realization dawned on his face and he nodded slowly. As the strobe lights slowed, a different song started playing, one with a more erotic tempo than the previous. Spinning me around, he pulled my back into his chest, resting his hands on my hips.

"It's easy, just move to the beat. Close your eyes and listen to it, let your body feel the rhythm."

I felt his hips swaying back and forth against my ass as his hands guided my hips from one side to the other, matching the deep thump of the music. The alcohol was hitting me then, loosening my muscles and making my head hazy. I found myself moving with him, grinding my ass against his hard cock as my arms moved up and back, wrapping around his neck and pulling him down so that his lips would meet my skin. His warm tongue licked up the side of my neck, biting and sucking gently until he reached my ear.

"See? It's not that hard," he whispered huskily.

I gave a cheeky grin and turned my head to meet his eyes as I ground my hips back. "Sure feels hard to me."

Groaning, he attacked my lips as we continued to move, eventually spinning me back around to face him. When my moved my hips again, our cocks mashed together creating a friction that felt so damn good, I started getting hard again. Pulling back, he stared at me intensely through heavy lidded eyes.

"You're," he paused and I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "You're really good at this."

That didn't surprise me, I had music in my blood, while I didn't really know club music, I knew rhythm and beats. Also, I was usually good at anything I tried but hearing from Jasper made it different, made it actually mean something.

"Yeah?" I asked with a smile, circling my hips again to brush my erection against his. He groaned and tightened his grip on my waist, his head dropping back as I continued to rub our cocks together. Long and pale, the exposed skin of his neck called to me and I couldn't help but lean forward and run my tongue across his pulse point, moaning at the taste of him. Bringing his head back up, he immediately caught my lips in a heated kiss, his tongue slipping into my mouth hungrily. Sliding his hands around my back, he moved them down to cup my ass in both hands, pushing hard to grind my cock into his as he rocked forward to meet me. My arms were around his neck, fisting his hair in my hands as he continued to devour my mouth.

"Edward," he whispered into the kiss. I barely heard it over the pulsing music but the need in his voice made me shiver and I realized just how much I wanted him right then. However, a part of me knew that once we went back to my hotel room, once the mind blowing sex was over and we went to sleep, the day would be over. I wasn't ready for it to end yet, afraid that the next day would bring us back to a client/escort relationship and I wasn't ready to let this newfound Jasper go yet.

Slowing the kiss, I slid my lips across his gently, no longer fisting his curls, but instead playing with the wispy ends, enjoying the way his arms encircled my waist tightly. With a few more soft pecks, he pulled back and opened his eyes. They were heavy lidded but bright, shining with...something. The same thing I hoped was showing in mine and I was sure his smile matched my own.

We continued to dance, sometimes slow and sensual, other times faster and more light hearted but no matter what, we were pressed close together. The hordes of people surrounding us were practically forgotten as we stared into each other's eyes, kissing softly and just enjoying each other's company. I was so enraptured by him that the music probably could have stopped and I would have never even noticed. The numerous shirtless men and dancers couldn't even steal my attention away from Jasper. He was, by far, the most beautiful man in the room anyway.

Leaning forward, he kissed below my ear before whispering, "Having fun, baby?"

I knew the term of endearment probably shouldn't have affected me the way it did but I couldn't help it. Every time I heard it, my stomach flipped and what I was sure was a stupid grin came across my face.

"Very much so," I whispered back, kissing his cheek. "Thank you for bringing me here, Jasper."

He graced me with a wide smile. "My pleasure, Edward."

I buried my face in the crook of his neck and breathed in deeply, the mixture of sweat and Jasper assaulting my senses. Just then, a fast tempo song boomed through the club and the crowd went wild. I pulled back to look at Jasper, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"It's Party in the USA," he explained, like it should have been obvious.

It wasn't.

I raised my eyebrows, hoping he would explain further.

"You know, Miley Cyrus...?"

"Oh, I've heard of her," I nodded. Alice had mentioned something once about an outfit by someone name Cyrus.

"You've heard of her? Edward, she's one of the biggest singers around right now." He sounded completely incredulous but I couldn't understand why.

I hadn't listened to the radio for mere enjoyment in...well, since I could remember. My radio was rarely on, I often chose to listen to Bach or Beethoven. Sure, I had been to numerous piano performances and I had seen the Chicago orchestra play at least ten times in the last year but other than that, I didn't really have much knowledge in the way of popular music.

I simply shrugged.

Shaking his head, that incredulous look was still on his face as he kissed me and took my hand. "I need a drink," he said loudly, making sure I could hear him over the roaring crowd. Once again, he ordered water and I got the same, knowing that anymore alcohol would be too much and I didn't want to pass out the minute we reached the car. As we rested, Jasper sat on a barstool and pulled me to stand between his legs, leaning forward to kiss my neck.

"Smell so damn good," he murmured as he continued to lick and nibble his way around my throat. Tilting my head to the side to give him greater access, my eyes landed on two men sitting on one of the couches across from the bar. One was straddling the other, rocking his hips quickly as they kissed each other hard. Biting my lip, I felt my cock twitch as I watched their display and enjoyed the way Jasper was biting at the sharp edge of my jaw. Raising his head, he followed my gaze and realized what I was looking at. Laughing, he looked back at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Ready to go?" he asked with a smirk.

All I could do was nod.

I needed him naked. Immediately.

As Aro drove us back to the hotel, the entire ride was spent with our cocks brushing together as I straddled his lap and kissed him hard. I didn't even care that window was down and Aro could easily hear my wanton moans or see the urgent way I wanted Jasper. The elevator ride up to my room was basically the same, only difference being that we were standing. As soon as we busted through the door of my room, I pushed him back against the door, reconnecting our lips and reaching for the hem of his shirt.

He stopped though, slowing our kisses for a moment before whispering against my lips, "I'll be right back." He kissed me one last time before walking towards the bathroom. After kicking off my loafers, I walked out onto the balcony, shivering when the cool breeze whipped across me. The smile never left my face as I looked out over the city, the place that had become where I was most comfortable, the most happy. Dread crept over me as I thought about having to return to Chicago, having to lock myself away again, be something that I wasn't.

And be away from Jasper.

How was I supposed to make it in between visits? Not seeing his face or feeling his arms around me. I was scared. All these new feelings arising inside of me, taking over my every thought were so overwhelming, but in a good way. After the wonderful day with Jasper, I didn't want to go back to my other life.

Honestly, I didn't want to leave.

Strong arms wrapping away my waist pushed away the negative feelings, warmth spreading over me as his firm body enveloped mine.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"You," I replied simply. Keeping his arms tight around me, he swayed us back and forth. "The stars are beautiful," I sighed, letting him support my weight and looking up at the blanket of black decorated by dots of light.

Suddenly, one shot across the sky, and instantly it was gone. "Make a wish," he told me. Biting my lip, I closed my eyes and wished.

For the night to never end.

"Did you wish for something good?" he asked as he turned me in his arms.

"Lots and lots of sex," I smiled.

"Mmm, I like your thinking." Grinning, he kissed me, soft and sweet and leisurely, sweeping his lips across mine in barely there touches. Tilting my head, I deepened the kiss, wrapping my arms tight around his neck and running my fingers through his hair. As his taste flooded my mouth, his scent filled my lungs, completing me in a way I never knew existed. His arms stayed around my waist, gripping hard and pushing his hardening cock into mine.

"I want you," he rasped, heated breath washing over my lips as he walked me backward until I rested against the balcony ledge. Moving his mouth down my neck, he proceeded to unbutton my shirt, his lips pressing softly to each newly exposed area. My hands were in his hair, pushing it away from his face so I could see him as he lavished attention to my chest and abdomen. "Turn around," he commanded when he was finished with my shirt and I happily obeyed.

Wet, sucking kisses were placed to the back of my neck as he pushed the shirt from shoulders, the same breeze that had been too chilly a few minutes before was now welcomed to my over heated skin. The fire of his lips made a trail over my back, from each shoulder to in between my shoulder blades, down the knots of my spine to the sensitive skin right above the waist of my slacks. Resting my palms against the marble ledge, I arched my back and dropped my head forward, already panting as my cock ached from the attention I was receiving. I felt his arms come back around my waist, fumbling with the buckle of my belt and then the button and zipper on my pants. He wasted no time, immediately pushing them off my hips until they pooled around my ankles. Gripping the back of my thigh in his hand, he lifted one leg and then the other, kicking my pants to the side along with my discarded shirt.

"Fuck," he exclaimed, pushing his jean covered cock against my bare ass, "so fucking beautiful."

It was an odd feeling, the vulnerability of being completely stripped and exposed while he was still fully dressed. I liked it, I liked feeling like I was at his mercy, in every way. His lips were on the back of my neck again; his panting breaths sounded so perfect in my ears as his hips thrust harder into me. Pushing back, I circled my ass on his cock teasingly, enjoying the way his forehead dropped to my shoulder and his fingers tightened on my hips.

"I have to fuck you, Edward."

It was desperate, it was needy, it was everything I wanted it to be and more.

Whimpering, I begged, "Yes, please. Right here."

"Don't move," he ordered, his fingertips gliding down my back before I heard his retreating footsteps. Breathing heavily, I tried to regain a little composure, certain that I would come so quickly that it would be over before it even had really begun. Jasper didn't give me much time to do that, however, because almost as quick as he had left, he was back, his bare chest pressing into my back as his hand reached around to grab my cock.

"I'm going to make you scream for me," he promised in a low voice, stroking my cock gently. "All those people down there and in those buildings over there," he motioned with his head. "I want them to hear you come. We're not in the soundproof room," he referenced earlier. "The people on the balcony below or on the sides of us, they can't see us, but they can hear the moans. Remember watching those boys tonight? Imagine there is someone watching us now, getting off on our naked bodies, of us kissing and moving together. Panting and moaning as they come while watching me fuck you."

My heart raced with the suggestion -so vulgar and sexy at the same time.

"I'm going to fuck you until you can't stand anymore and then I'm going to carry you to bed and do it all over again."

"Fuck...yes." I braced my hands on the ledge for support as I arched my back and jut my ass out in an invitation I knew he couldn't resist. His hand left my cock and I heard the familiar clicking sound of the lube being opened then his slick fingers circling my entrance. Slipping one inside, he teased me, giving me only an inch before pulling back and doing it again, going a little deeper each time. When he hit my prostate, a bolt of pleasure shot down my spine and instantly pushed back, silently begging for more. Eventually, he moved to two fingers and then three, fucking me slowly and stretching me, preparing me for what was to come.

"Fuck, you look so hot right now. Spread open and begging for me," he exclaimed, slapping my ass lightly with his free hand. "God, you make me so fucking hard."

I felt like I was literally going to hyperventilate, my chest rising and falling so fucking rapidly, I actually felt dizzy. "Jesus, Jasper..._please,"_ I begged, pushing my ass into his hand to get his fingers deeper. I heard his breathy chuckle before his touch disappeared and I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, I felt the blunt head of his cock pushing against my entrance and I arched my back further, groaning at the delicious burn as he slid into me. Once he was fully inside, he ran one hand up my back to my neck and placed the other on my hip, gripping tightly as he pulled out a fraction and rocked forward again.

Grasping a handful of my hair, he forced my head back and growled into my ear, "So fucking good, baby. Gets better and better every time."

"So good, so, so good. God, Jasper. Faster, please," I pleaded, too worked up to take it slow and easy. Pulling back, he stilled with just the head of his cock inside me, my inner walls clenching around him in anticipation. Slowly, he filled me again, the pleasurable ache from the stretch making me shiver and pant harshly. Picking up speed, he set a steady rhythm, sliding his hand up from my hip to tease and tug my hardened nipples. His other hand cupped the back of my neck, using it for leverage to pull my body backwards to meet his every thrust. The slapping of flesh rang through the air every time our hips met, drowning out the sounds of the passer-bys down on the street and the whistling howl of the wind. Earlier I had been a voyeur by watching the couples at the club, now I was an exhibitionist, naked and being fucked on a balcony.

The day continued to be a day of firsts.

"Feel so fucking good," he mumbled, his lips on my neck, my skin between his teeth. "I love fucking you, baby, so, so much. I want to make you come so hard, shoot your load all over this nice marble."

His words were quickly pushing me to orgasm, overloading all of my senses with everything that was Jasper.

"Harder," I growled, clawing in vain at the marble of the ledge as I got closer to release. Rubbing my cock against the cold stone was abrasive and rude, but it felt fucking delicious and erotic. It was wanton and wild, passionate and intense. I was letting myself go, accepting physical pleasure openly, literally for all to see, and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. One I could easily become addicted to.

"Fucking hell, Edward." Moving his hand from my neck, he reached around and grasped my cock tightly, no longer bothering with the steady pace, he began pounding me relentlessly as he stroked me and twisted my nipples.

"I'm going to come soon," I warned, hoping that he was close too because I wasn't sure I could hold out for much longer.

It was too much; the fantastic day, thoughts of him blowing me in the car, his admittance of feeling something toward me as I did for him, taking me to a place where it was okay for me to be myself, stroking my cock in public...

All of it. Everything. Him.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jasper, don't stop. I'm coming."

My roar of completion echoed through the night sky as spurt after spurt left my body, landing somewhere on the marble ledge, waves of pleasure wracked me so intensely I was sure my knees would buckle. His euphoric cry was drowned out by own but the way his cock twitched hard inside of me only prolonged my orgasm, draining me completely.

Collapsing against my back, he wrapped his arms tight around my torso and kissed my shoulder and neck repeatedly, murmuring, "Thank you...so good...amazing...never knew..."

He made no sense.

I knew exactly what he meant.

When his softening cock slipped from me, I shakily turned around and crushed him to me, kissing him hard even as I swayed with exhaustion. Letting his body support me, I leaned into him, my fingers fisting his hair as my mouth fused to his.

_Don't let it end, don't let it end…_

"Come on, baby, let's get you to bed," he whispered affectionately.

I don't remember walking to the bedroom, or getting cleaned up, but I do remember the way he arms felt as they cradled me to his chest, the way his husky voice whispered 'G' night' in my ear, and the sweet, lingering kiss that was placed on my lips before sleep quickly claimed me.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

*sigh* Aren't they adorable? Can I just say I think I'm falling in love with Jasper more each chapter.

Oh, go bid on Dannie in the FGB auction. Make her write something really hard, canon e/b or even some a/j-oh no, then I have to beta it, forget it. How about some slash…E/J/Seth outtake from Landslide? Or a pure angst, no HEA one shot? Hehe.

Her details can be found at

http:/www . thefandomgivesback . com/item . php?id=529 (remove spaces)


	12. Reality Bites

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N-Back to reality for Edward, but let's give him some lovin' first, shall we? I normally don't like updating on Mondays, but this wasn't quite ready to go last night.

This chapter was a collaboration between Domward's Mistress and myself.

Big thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

"**~~**"

**Epov**~

Something was disturbing me, whispering in my ear and touching the bare skin of my back, trying to pull me out of the blissful sleep I was in. I was comfortable, warm and happy, wrapped tightly in Jasper's arms and I didn't ever want to wake up. Waking up meant that it was the next day and he would have to leave me soon. I wasn't ready for that yet.

But it was persistent! Doing everything it could to pull me out of my slumber when I was so desperate to stay there.

"Please...need you, baby...have to...come on...wake up..."

Broken phrases and heavy breathing surrounded me but I fought against them, squeezing my eyes shut, determined not to face the new day. When I felt strong fingers grip my hips tightly, I realized that it wasn't just something that had been trying to wake me, it had been Jasper. Opening my eyes, I squinted against the bright sunlight that was shining through the small opening of the curtains, purposely avoided looking at the clock on the table.

I didn't want to see our minutes together ticking away beyond my control.

"Wake up, baby, please. Need you, Edward," he begged desperately, and I felt his hard cock sliding along my ass. His lips found my neck, licking and sucking, biting kisses all over the tender skin before moving to my shoulder and stopping as he panted heavily against my bare skin.

"Then take me," I rasped, my voice raw from sleeping and my pleasured screams from the night before.

"Oh, thank God," he moaned and I felt the bed dip as he rolled away from me. Almost immediately, he was back behind me and I heard the familiar click of the lube bottle. Lifting my leg, I rolled forward a bit, shifting so that I was spread for him and his fingers began teasing my entrance.

"Yes," I sighed as one digit slipped easily inside, my body still relatively open from our activities just a few hours before. Quickly, a second finger joined the first, pumping swiftly and impatiently as I pushed back into his hand. As incredible as his touch felt, I battled on whether or not to let it continue. Having another round of sex was definitely high on my priority list, it would get me through the long weeks ahead, but I also wanted to spend time with him, like we had the day before, just him and I talking and getting to know one another.

When I felt his fingers leave me, my heart raced knowing they would soon be replaced by his cock. Only seconds later, I felt his hand on the inside of my thigh, lifting it as he positioned himself at my entrance. As I felt him push, as he began to fill me, I decided that talking could wait until next time. I felt the soft wisps of his hair brushing the back of my shoulders as he left kisses over my heated skin. Shivering, I reached an arm up behind me and let my fingers tangle in his waves, pulling him to me as I turned my head toward him. With parted lips, I captured his in an urgent need to taste him. Even with him filling me, holding me, it seemed I could never get enough of him.

"Mmmm," he moaned into the kiss as he began thrusting in earnest in and out of me. "So fucking good," he mumbled as he broke the kiss and laid his forehead to my cheek, his panting breaths caressing my face with each effort of his hips. We hadn't been together many times, but I could already tell when he was close, the way his breath hitched, the way his eyelids fluttered, struggling to stay open, the way his hips jerked with no rhythm.

"Touch yourself," he gasped.

Releasing his hair, my hand traveled down my chest, stopping to tease my own nipples, sending a charge of pleasure straight to my already throbbing cock. Behind me, he groaned and shifted his weight so he could watch me, keeping me tightly to him with one arm trapped between my body and the mattress.

"Fuck," he whispered as my hand reached its destination and began stroking. Swiping my thumb over the head, I gathered some fluid and slicked my cock with it. With each heavy breath he left on my face and shoulders, I stroked faster. His hips never ceasing as he watched me, his eyes half-lidded and dark. Unable to keep my own open, I let them drift closed and let myself just feel him…everywhere. Thrusting into me, his cock began grazing my prostate and I felt the warmth stir. Instinctively, my hand slowed, I didn't want to come yet, I wanted it to last longer.

But my efforts were to no avail, his talented cock encouraged the warmth to spread, my hand quickened, and my balls began to tighten. He crushed me to him, his mouth at my ear as he took my lobe between his lips.

"Come, baby," he murmured around the flesh. Quick, shallow breaths mixed with grunts escaped me as my orgasm hit me, long bursts of cum shooting from my cock onto my hand and stomach as the muscles of my ass clenched around him, bringing on his own climax. Still in the midst of my own passion, the ecstasy gradually ebbing through me, I felt his fingers dig into the inside of my thigh as his body tensed and contracted with each wave that hit him. Inside me, his cock twitched and jerked while his hips bucked against me as the pleasure seemed to flow endlessly through him. We lay like that for a few minutes, my cum-covered hand still gripping my cock, and his cock still inside me. He had let my leg down and had wrapped his arm around my middle, his fingers dipping into the cum that had begun to run down my side. With a small sigh he kissed my neck as he pulled his hips back slowly, pulling his cock from me. Holding me for another second or two before letting me go, he stripped the condom from his cock and got off the bed. When he returned only a minute later, I still hadn't moved, and when I felt his hand on my shoulder, pressing me to roll onto my back, I resisted.

Perhaps if I lay still enough, I could stop time

It was childish, immature, and yet at the same time, so very me. I hadn't done it since I was a child, but there had been a few times where I had been so happy that I never wanted the feeling to end. I would close my eyes as tightly as possible and stay as motionless as I could, even to the point of holding my breath, imagining myself a statue of marble and stone, time passing around me while I remained in the cocoon of the happiness.

It had never worked.

Something always pulled me from the stillness, forcing me to face that time was moving, that things were going to change. It hadn't been until years later that I realized the changes weren't necessarily for the worse.

Giving into him, I let him turn me and I opened my eyes to find him above me. He was smiling, his dimples deep and honest as he watched me intently.

"You okay?" he asked, almost smirking. Reaching up, I brushed my fingers along his cheek and smiled when he leaned his head into my touch.

"Yeah," I finally said. "I just…"

"You just what?" he asked, sitting down next to me, one arm on the other side of me bracing his body up. Looking down at me, I saw his smile begin to fade, my hesitation instilling some kind of worry in him. It pleased me that he was concerned, but I didn't want him to suffer.

Holding his gaze, I traced his lips with the pad of my thumb. "I just didn't want it to end," I admitted quietly. Relief filled his eyes and the creases in his brow relaxed as he nodded a bit.

"Me either," he whispered before lowering himself and placing his head on my chest. My hand moved from his lips to his hair, my fingers weaving through the curls that were dampened with sweat. "We've got some time," he said. I felt his head move as he glanced up at the clock.

"How much?" I dared to ask.

"About forty minutes," he said, his voice vibrating against my chest as he spoke. "Enough time for a nice long shower." Lifting his head, he put his chin on my chest and looked up at me through his long lashes. My fingers never stopped moving through his hair as I considered my next question.

Taking a deep breath, I dove in. "Do you have another…appointment?"

Shaking his head, he frowned a bit. "No, but I was late last time and I can't be again. Aro covered for me, but I can't ask him to do that all the time."

"No, you can't," I agreed and lifted my head to reach his lips. Meeting me half way, his brushed his swollen lips over mine, never deepening the kiss, but still erotic as hell. I could practically hear the seconds ticking away as his lips swept over mine again and again. "So…that shower?" I suggested in a garbled mumble as he continued to kiss me. I felt him smile against me before he pushed himself up and stared down at me, his hair falling over his face. Without another word, he climbed off the bed and held his hand out for me. Taking it, I let him pull me up and lead me to the bathroom where the shower was already running, steam hanging thick in the room.

How had I not heard it before?

He opened the shower door and ushered me in, closing it behind him as he got in. As he squeezed shampoo onto his open palm, he smirked at me.

"You know, Mr. Cullen, I think as a preferred guest of this fine establishment, you should make a suggestion to the hotel that would be beneficial to both of us," he said as he began to massage the shampoo into my hair and lather it up. My eyes closed when I felt his fingers rubbing my scalp and I couldn't help but relax back into him, my body swaying against his.

"Mmm," was my intelligent response. Chuckling, he took the showerhead down and directed it at me, tilting my head back so the soapy water would run down my back.

"I think you should tell them that this shower needs a ledge," he said casually. Laughing, I reached for his hand blindly and brought it to my mouth. Kissing his fingers, I tasted the remnants of the shampoo on them.

"Sorry, but I don't think I have that kind of influence for request like that," I apologized. "Besides," I began, opening my eyes when I felt him return the shower head and reach for the body wash. "I think we've done just fine without it, don't you?"

His hands were skimming my wet skin as he rubbed the gel over me, a white foam covering my shoulders, back, ass and legs.

"Yes, " he began, "we have, but with all the time we spend in here, think how nice it would be to," he moved closer, his lips right at my ear, "straddle me while I sit on the ledge and fuck you," he said in husky tone that sent a shiver throughout me.

Exhaling loudly, I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "That sounds delightful," I smiled. "I'll see what I can do," I promised, smiling as he beamed at me.

"Edward, I can't wash you when you're this close," he scolded, but made no move to put more space between us.

"I know," I whispered just as my lips met his in a deep, wet kiss. Groaning, his hands went to my ass, not to entice sex but to keep me to him as we made out under the stream of hot water. I lost track of time, probably unconsciously forcing myself to not think about those damn ticking minutes, but Jasper did think about them and broke the kiss with a sad smile. Pouring more soap in his hand, he finished washing my body, not missing one inch, before he quickly ran shampoo through his hair and soap over his body. I had volunteered to help him, but he shook his head with a knowing smile and promptly told me he 'knew where my help would lead to'.

I couldn't deny he was wrong.

After getting out, we both dried off and Jasper dressed in a pair of jeans and polo shirt he had pulled from his bag while I put on jeans and a button down from my closet. It was Sunday, there were no office hours for me, but I did have plenty of work to get done before my meetings the next day. With less than five minutes to spare, he and I stood at my door, his bag slung over his shoulder as he shifted, almost nervously, back and forth. Bringing a hand up to his chest, I lay my palm flat on over his heart, feeling it pound beneath his firm muscles.

"It's okay," I told him, "I know you have to go, don't feel guilty about it." Instantly, he stopped moving, his heart slowed, and his breath evened out.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, looking down at the floor. "I…I…"

"Sshh," I quieted him with a finger on his lips. "It's okay," I assured him again. I didn't want him to leave, I wanted to stay with him in the safety of that hotel room forever. The gifts of freedom he had given me in one day were more than I had had in a lifetime, and they weren't something I was too willing to give up.

But as much as I was an apparent romantic, I was a realist as well, and we both had lives to get back to. I had work and he had… well, he had clients.

"When do you leave?" he asked suddenly, and I thought for a moment.

"Friday, my flight is at two, but my car is supposed to be here at noon."

Nodding, he cupped my face in his hands and rested his forehead against mine. "Two weeks?" he asked.

"Two weeks," I repeated.

"Until then," he said as his lips descended on to mine for the last time. He never deepened it, never let his tongue ask for entrance, or even really parted his lips. It was then that I knew our goodbye was as hard on him as it was on me.

And I don't think either of us knew why.

Pulling away, he gave me one last look before turning and opening the door. Leaving it open behind him, he stepped into the hall and headed for the elevators. As much I knew it would pain me, I couldn't resist leaning around the door and watching him leave.

Long after he had turned the corner, had gotten onto the elevator, and had probably even already pulled away in the car, I stood in the doorway, my chest tightening a bit with each passing second. Finally, I closed the door and went to the desk. Sitting down, I powered up my laptop and opened up my email. Next to the laptop, my phone vibrated. Hitting the button, a new text message appeared.

_Miss you already_

Smiling, my fingers click the keys to reply.

_Me too._

I put the phone down, and began to scroll through my email, rolling my eyes when I saw over one hundred new emails.

Back to reality.

"**~~**"

The week had dragged, worked had dragged, my life had dragged. Even with my nightly jerk off sessions to the memory of Jasper, they had been still been long and lonely. With each stroke of my cock, I recalled him touching me, coming in me, kissing me, but what had brought me to orgasm, what had pushed me over the proverbial edge, had been the memory of his hand in mine as we had walked down the streets.

Its warmth, security… acceptance.

He accepted me for who I was, faults and all. Even when I had ripped my hand from his when we had run into Daniel, he had supported me.

I'd had to face Daniel the day after Jasper had left. I had a meeting with him early in the morning and was then cajoled into lunch with him and the rest of his team. Reluctantly, and lacking an excuse to not go, I went and sat there at the restaurant surrounded my men in suits as they bitched about their wives or bragged about what prep school their children were attending. Staring out the window, I wished to be anywhere else but there. I watched people walk down the streets, on their way to work or to pick up their kids, and I wondered what it would be like to have their normal life.

To just be who I was and not who I was expected to be.

"What do you think, Edward?" I heard and turned my head to the four men staring expectantly at me, waiting for a response to a question I hadn't heard.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I missed what you said."

"Late night?" Daniel teased me with a smile before leaning back in his chair with a sigh. "I wish I had gotten laid last night, my wife was pissed at me for being late again," he shook his head and got sympathetic moans from everyone.

"They are always pissed about something," Jim agreed to another round of nods. "So, Edward, I had asked if you thought MedChem would try to outbid Synergy for the buyout of Lobdell's?"

Without thinking, I replied automatically. "No, Synergy just purchased that Japanese company, and they are still on a high from that, I don't think MedChem has the power, or the funds right now, to outbid them." Of course, they all agreed, nodding their heads and murmuring.

I was like a god to them.

"Lobdell used to be _the _company, then they had that implosion," a guy named Brian recalled.

"Yeah, didn't the CEO leave for 'personal reasons'?" Daniel asked. Brian nodded and took a sip of his wine.

"He was cheating on his wife…with one of his board members," Brian explained.

Another spoke up, "They say there is no such thing as bad publicity, but that's not true. Some scandals that can bring a company to its knees faster than a two bit whore."

I cringed at his words. Not only the truth of them but his casual use of the word 'whore'. Motioning to the waiter, I asked for the check and handed him my company credit card.

"Are you gentlemen ready to get back?" I asked politely, but knew they would all agree. Of course, they did, some downing the last of their drinks before standing and straightening out their jackets.

As we were walking toward the door, Daniel came up beside me. "Did you have a good weekend with your friend? Jasper was it?"

At the sound of his name, my breath caught in my throat. Not because I missed him, but because Daniel had remembered him and his name. It was too close for comfort. Perhaps Seattle wasn't the safe haven I had thought it was.

"Yes, I did. He was a great tour guide, showed me all the sights," I replied with a fake smile.

"We should all get together sometime, next time you're in town, bring him along with you and we can hit the strip clubs," he offered as he held the door open for me.

"That'd be great," I lied and headed for our car.

The rest of the week had been a repeat of that day, Daniel mentioned Jasper one more time, asking me what part of town he lived in. I had lied and said couldn't remember the street, not that I any idea where Jasper did live, or if he lived alone.

I was packing up my suitcase when I had a knock on my door. Too late for housekeeping and I hadn't ordered any room service, I went to the door and opened it.

I never expected it to be Jasper.

In a blue tee shirt and jeans, he stood before me with a sheepish smile on his face and golden waves hanging loosely around his face. "Hi."

Smiling widely, I reached out instinctively and pulled him to me. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise. Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"

Kissing me lightly for a moment, he replied, "I-I wanted to say goodbye...in person. I was thinking of calling you but this seemed like a much better idea."

I couldn't have agreed more.

I chose to ignore the little voice in my head that kept reminding me that the only reason he was able to be there was because he didn't have a client. Jasper was there, in my arms and kissing my lips, and that was all that mattered.

"Much, much better," I murmured as I kissed his lips once more.

Slipping my arms around his neck, I tilted my head and deepened the kiss, his arms wrapping around my waist as he moved his tongue with mine. Fingering his waves, I moaned into his mouth when his hands slid underneath my tee shirt to caress the skin of my back. While the kiss was perfect, a soothing motion that cured the empty ache I had felt in my chest all week, it only seemed to sadden me. There was a finality to it that hit me, and I didn't like it.

Breaking the kiss, panting slightly, I asked, "Can I call you while I'm gone? Please?"

"Of course you can." He wiggled his eyebrows and smiled brightly. "You wouldn't happen to have a webcam, would you?"

Laughing heartily, I grabbed his hand and led him to the sofa, ignoring the way my cock throbbed at the thought of Jasper spread out in front of a webcam, stroking his cock for me. Just as I was about to take a seat next to him, he pulled me to him and down into his lap so that I was straddling his waist. Immediately, my lips found his again, wanting to soak up as much of him as I could to hold me over during my absence.

When he pulled back, he rubbed his thumb over my cheekbone. "You look tired, baby," he said with concern. I wanted to tell him that he did as well but I was afraid that would open conversation about why he was tired and I couldn't have handled that. If our nights together were any indication, I knew he was exhausted, and I knew why.

Reaching up to cover his hand with my own, I nuzzled into his palm and sighed happily. "Busy week but I'm okay. Better now that I'm with you," I whispered, blushing at my boldness.

Chuckling softly, he pulled my lips back to his and just before they touched, he whispered, "I missed you, too."

Flooded with pride and relief, I kissed him hard, tightening my arms around his neck when he tilted his head and deepened the kiss once again. With every slide of his tongue over mine, my heart raced faster and faster, my head spinning as my lungs filled with his scent. For a brief moment, I felt the tightening of my chest when I realized that I was going to be leaving him. Even though it would only be for a short amount of time, just thought of not waking up with him the next morning, or even being able to see him the next night, made me hurt. Desperately, I gripped him, my hips began rocking against him, brushing our clothed cocks together and moaning into his mouth. Slouching down, he grasped my ass and grunted, shoving up hard into me. Wrenching his mouth from mine, his full lips moved across my clean-shaven jaw and down my neck, licking and nipping gently.

"I swear this isn't what I came here for," he panted into my skin. "You're just too God damn irresistible."

"Don't stop," I begged, craning my neck to give him better access.

"Fuck," he growled, sitting up to quickly strip off his shirt. "I need to feel you, please."

Quickly following suit, I ripped my shirt over my head and threw it to the floor, immediately pushing my bare chest against his, eager to feel his skin searing into mine. Our lips smashed together once more, all teeth and tongue and heated passion. His fingers fumbled with the button on my jeans as he began kissing his way back down my neck to my collarbone. Once my pants were undone, he hurriedly released my cock, moaning softly as his fingers danced over my leaking slit. Pulling back, I watched as he took his hand away from my cock, spitting into his palm before wrapping it back around, stroking it languidly. Groaning, my head lolled back as I gripped his shoulders, slowly thrusting into his hand. Our slow movements didn't last long though, his arm speeding as well as the movement of my hips, desperate to feel the rush that only Jasper could give me.

"Feels so good," I moaned. Dipping his thumb into my slit, he palmed my head on every other pass. I felt the tingling start at the base of my spine, slowly spreading through my stomach and to my groin. My toes began to curl even as my thighs starting aching from clenching the muscles so tightly.

"You look so hot like this, Edward. So feral, so raw..." He continued whispering things as his free hand came up to twist and tug at my nipples.

"Oh my God," I panted, my body arching into his touch.

"So responsive," he murmured, watching me.

When his hand left my cock, I whined and thrust my hips towards him, begging him to continue. I was already getting close and was disappointed that he had stopped.

"Lift up for me," he whispered, his hands impatiently pushing down my jeans.

Rising to my knees, I looked at Jasper as he yanked my jeans down over my ass to my thighs, licking his lips as my cock bobbed in front of his mouth. Looking up at me, his pink tongue slipped out of his mouth and lapped at my leaking precum.

"Unh, fuck." I reached down and grip his hair, proceeding to move his head down my length.

"No," he muttered. Pouting, I silently pleaded him with my eyes to keep going, aching so badly my muscles were quivering. Keeping his eyes on mine, he brought two fingers to my mouth, tapping against my bottom lip. Granting him access, I sucked his fingers, circling them with my tongue much like I would his cock. His eyes darkened further and I smirked around his fingers. Sliding them from my mouth, he brought his hand down and between my spread legs, slipping his slick fingers between my cheeks to press against my entrance.

"You want this?" he teased, pulling his fingers away slightly when I tried to push back on them.

"Yes, Jasper...please," I begged shamelessly. Groaning, he slid both fingers inside, encouraging me in a husky whisper when I whimpered and pushed down onto his hand. That familiar delicious burn faded into euphoric pleasure as his fingers slipped in deeper and tapped my prostate. Grinding on his fingers, my neglected cock bobbed uselessly in front of Jasper's mouth, seeping steadily and begging for attention. Pulling his fingers from my body, he quickly shoved them deep again, my eyes rolling back as my head lolled from the pleasure. Crying out, my hips jerked forward and my cock was suddenly encased in his hot mouth. Agonizingly slow, his lips slid all the way to the base, sucking me hard as he swallowed around my head.

"Fuck!" I shouted as I fisted his hair in my hands. Pulling back, he let me slide from his mouth with a loud pop and I groaned, missing the tight suction of his wet lips. I looked down at him, ready to question why he had stopped and noticed the smirk on his face and the gleam in his eyes. Blushing, I bit my lip and readjusted my hands on his head, wrapping my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. When I hesitated to shove my cock back in his mouth, he flexed his fingers, which were still inside me, making a surge of pleasure shoot up my spine.

"Fuck...suck me," I begged, pushing his head down my cock. Moaning loudly, he kept his head still, allowing me to push and pull him up and down my cock at the speed I wanted. With every thrust forward into his mouth, his fingers slipped out of me, only to slide back in deeply when I moved back again. Over stimulated, I panted heavily and clenched my eyes shut, trying to avoid coming so soon.

"Jesus...I'm not going to...I can't...feels so fucking good, Jasper."

Growling around my cock, he hollowed out his cheeks, sucking so hard I felt my toes curl in my shoes. His fingers massaged my prostate and I whimpered, slipping from his mouth again as I ground hard against his hand.

His hand took over for his mouth, stroking me quickly and palming my head. "Come for me, baby."

"Your mouth..." I trailed off and as soon as I felt my cock hit the back of his throat again, I knew I couldn't take anymore. "Fucking coming," I shouted, holding his head in place as my climax ripped through me and warm cum shot down his throat. It was my turn to growl when I felt his throat constrict around my cock, swallowing while his fingers pressed against my prostate with every spurt that left me, prolonging the intense pleasure. When my hands finally released his hair, they slid lazily down to his shoulders, the haze of my orgasm washing over me as my erratic breathing made me lightheaded. Pulling his fingers from me, his hands grasped my waist as my knees trembled and gave out, my body slumping into his lap.

"Oh my God," I mumbled, burying my face in his neck and peeking my tongue out to taste his skin.

Chuckling, he combed his fingers through my tuffs of sweaty hair. "I'll take that as a 'yes, Jasper, that was fantastic'." Laughing, I shifted to look at his face but as soon as I moved, Jasper groaned loudly and that single needing noise brought me out of my haze.

He was still hard and wanting.

Jasper spoke when I looked down at his lap. "Edward, it's okay. I'm perfectly fine." He pulled my chin up and kissed me. "I wanted to do that for you."

"And I want to do this for you," I replied, slipping off his lap and onto the floor. Swallowing hard, he looked down at me lust-filled, dark jade eyes.

"So hot...God damn," he panted heavily. "But your flight …" Sitting back on my heels, I looked up at him with a shy smile, feeling much more naked than I actually was as he stared at me intensely. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right, our time was limited, and it wasn't his schedule that time, it was mine. "C'mere," he slurred, crooking his finger at me. Laughing, I stood and returned to his lap, resting my head in the crook of his neck, savoring every last second I had with him.

His limp arm slung across my back while the other came up to caress my face. Eventually, his breathing slowed and his fingers stilled. The soft snores escaping him let me know that he was asleep. Sitting up, I watched him, tracing the details of his face lightly, much like he had done to me minutes before. He was so striking, every little crevice and scar only adding to his beauty, the perfection of an angel, although I clearly knew he was anything but, his job was far from heavenly. With his golden curls much like that of a tarnished halo, he was a savoir to me, his body gracing me pleasure I had only imagined, his soul blessing me with the kind of care and attention I had lacked for so long. Our relationship was confusing at best, and my mind ached when I thought about a future, and what it would be for us both. It wasn't like we had the obstacles of your average couple; not only did we have distance, we had his profession and my being in the closet to overcome.

All seemingly impossible feats.

I had no clue what the future would, or wouldn't, bring, but I knew as I sat half-naked in his lap that we had most certainly moved past just a simple arrangement of client and escort.

"Jasper," I whispered, separating his curls by running my fingers through his hair. When he showed no response, I tried again. "Jasper? Wake up, love."

I stopped abruptly, shocked and confused by the term I had just used, and beyond thankful that Jasper hadn't been awake to hear it. Pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, I cleared my throat lightly and took a deep breath to collect myself. Shaking him, he finally stirred, a lazy smile spreading across his face as his arms regained some strength and tightened around me.

"Sorry, baby, didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

Chuckling softly, I replied, "It's okay, I like watching you sleep."

Cracking open one eye, he looked at me warily. "Yeah and that's not creepy at all," he teased, pulling me down to lie on his chest again. I trailed my lips along his chest and up his neck until I finally reached his mouth. I kissed him, slow and soft. He returned it with fervor, sighing contentedly into my mouth and playing with my hair. When he pulled away, I laid my head in the crook of his neck again and pouted my lips out a bit so I could feel his pulse against them.

"You need to go," he sighed sadly. A silence fell over us and I hated how the mood had shifted from happy and playful to gloomy and dreadful. In that minute, I wished more than ever that we had met under different circumstances.

"Are you hungry? I can order us some room service," I said in hopes of changing the subject and bringing back his good mood.

"I'm okay. If you're hungry, then feel free, but I had a late dinner."

I barely hid my wince as my mind flooded with images of the sexy dark haired man I had seen in the lounge sharing bites of food as he kissed Jasper's neck. My stomach churned and I clenched my eyes shut and fought back the bile rising in my throat when the image morphed into the man lying on his back, naked, as Jasper licked chocolate of his chest and down to his cock. Suddenly, I climbed off his lap and turned toward the bar.

I needed a drink.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked with concern.

Not bothering with turning around, afraid he'd see the paleness of my face, I shook my head. "Nothing, I just wanted a drink. Would you like one?"

"Just water for me, thanks."

Smirking, I grabbed a bottle of water out of the small refrigerator. "How did I guess?"

I finally turned back around to face him and my breath caught. Slouched on the couch bare-chested, he looked more beautiful than anyone should be allowed to. Sleepy eyes and a lazy smile on his face, his curls covered half his face when he turned his head to the side and stretched, his long legs jutting out in front of him as a groan passed through his lips.

Perfection.

"I'm going to miss you so much." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, the ache in my chest as I thought about leaving growing more intense. Sighing, he closed his eyes and nodded. I walked over to him and put our waters on the table before slumping on the couch next to him. He laid his head on my shoulder and put his hand on my thigh. Regretfully, I glanced at the clock and saw the time.

Twenty minutes.

"You falling asleep on me again?" I teased and felt him laugh.

"Nope, just resting my eye," he replied, his head heavy and warm against me. Placing my hand over his on my leg, I weaved our fingers together. "It's time," he stated. When I nodded, he took his hand from mine and reached to the floor for his shirt. After pulling it on, he took the water I had put on the table and downed in on long gulp. Hypnotized, I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed continuously. Putting the empty bottle back on the table, he stood and held his hand out to me. "Walk me to the door?"

Taking his offer, I clasped his hand and stood up, letting him lead us to the door.

Much like almost a week before, we stood there, kissing and holding each other in our goodbye. On the table, the hotel phone rang. Jasper attempted to pull away to let me answer it but I held him closer.

"It's just the concierge letting me know my car is here," I mumbled, kissing along his jaw line. Moaning, he reached for my hands and pulled them from his hips.

"Go, Edward. Catch your flight. Call me and I will see you in two weeks," he said, leaving a peck on my lips between each phrase. Regretfully, I let him go, my head hanging. With cool fingers, he lifted my chin, directing my gaze to him. "Hey, it'll be okay," he promised, placing one last kiss on my lips before turning and walking out the door. Unlike last time, I didn't watch him leave, instead, I turned and answered the phone.

"**~~**"

The apartment felt exceptionally empty when I walked into it with the doorman following closely behind. I pointed to the wall, directing my bags be left there. Digging into the pocket of my tweed jacket, I took out my wallet and pulled a crisp five from it, holding it out to him as he passed. With a curt, thanks, he walked out my door and closed it behind him. Sitting on the couch, I sighed and took my phone out. As I debated on whether or not it was too soon to call Jasper, it vibrated and my mother's name appeared. I swear my house was bugged and she knew the exact moment I walked through my door. Answering it, she welcomed me home and the invited me to dinner with her and my father. Accepting, I promised to meet them the restaurant in an hour.

When I walked in, the hostess showed me their table and I kissed my mother on the cheek before sitting down.

"You look well," my mother said, staring at me a bit too long. "You have a…glow about you," she continued, almost suspiciously.

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

"How was Seattle?" my father asked as he took sip of wine and the waiter approached, wanting to take my order.

"Bourbon on the rocks, please," I requested as I leaned back in the chair and then looked at my father.

"Good, everything's moving along quite nicely. There is much less resistance than I had first expected."

"How so?"

Shrugging, I played with my napkin that sat next to my plate. "They just seem to accept the merger easier than I thought they would. There are still a few snide remarks, but overall, they seem pretty positive about it."

"Well, I'm sure when we guaranteed their job security, it helped ease their worries," he assumed. The waiter returned with my drink and took our orders. My father continued after the waiter had left. "How much longer do you think you need?"

It was a question I didn't want to think about.

When the merger was over, so were my trips to Seattle.

"I think we're still a few months out. I've only just begun the consolidation of the accounting, which will take many weeks on its own, then there is advertising, public relations, human resources-"

He put his hand up. "Okay, I get it. Didn't mean to rush you, just eager to have it done."

"You're eager to have it done so you can stop worrying about me handling it," I blurted out and received a warning look from my mother. Just as he went to reply, she put a hand on his arm.

"Let's talk about something besides work, shall we?" she directed rather than suggested. Smiling at her, my father patted her hand and then turned back to me with an apologetic glance. "So Edward, I saw Kate at a function last weekend, she seemed eager to corner me and interrogate me about you."

"Sorry," I apologized.

"Have you two…" she trailed off suggestively.

"No," I practically yelled. "No, nothing like that. We danced the hospital benefit awhile back."

"She's very pretty," my father said just as the food arrived. After the waiter had left, my father began to cut his steak. "Nice girl."

_Keyword: girl. _

"Yes, she is," I agreed quietly.

"Now, about your meeting tomorrow," my father mumbled, chewing his bit of food, and my mother sighed heavily.

So much for no more talk about work.

In my pocket, my phone vibrated and I pulled it out, unable to contain the grin when I saw his name on my screen. Clicking the message, my heart raced with anticipation.

_Thinking of you_

And just like that, my entire day brightened.

He was completely unaware of the power he wielded over me.

When I looked up, my mother was eyeing in a way only a mother can, and I forced a mask on my face, but found it more and more difficult to hide what Jasper brought on in me.

The rest of dinner was a blur, my mother steered the conversation back to Kate once or twice, my father continued to talk work, and I still managed to enjoy the meal.

All because of three words in a text message.

At home, I stripped my clothes and climbed into bed, too exhausted to do anything but close my eyes and let my thoughts wander to Jasper and the look on his face when I had handed him the flowers I had bought for him.

Bright eyes, wide smile and pure joy.

Sleep took me quickly, my last coherent thoughts were of blond curls blowing in the cool Seattle breeze.

At work the next day, I got off the elevator and was immediately accosted by Bella and Eric, both eager to fill me in on the upcoming day, missed calls and meetings. Shooing them both off, I strode toward my office, closing my door before putting my briefcase on my desk and sitting down. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the strip of pictures of Jasper and I from the photo booth. I had found myself carrying them around in my pocket everywhere. Holding it in my hands, I ran an index finger over his image, tracing his hair and face in each one. Just when I thought I had decided which picture was my favorite, I would look at the next one and change my mind.

But the one where we were kissing, the one that claimed us as each other's, meant the most to me.

I stared at his smile and deep eyes, allowing myself to indulge in his gaze for a minute. There was a knock and Bella entered. Quickly, I opened the top drawer of my desk and tossed the photo in with the pens and paperclips.

"Edward, don't forget your-"

"Conference call with Pharmlab in ten minutes," I finished for her with a raised eyebrow. She nodded silently retreating out of my office and gently closing the door behind her. As soon as the click confirmed the door was closed, my phone rang.

Thus was my life.

After my second meeting for that morning, I was walking to my father's office and called Emmett to see if he wanted to get together for lunch. We hadn't spent much time together since the merger had started and I was ready to catch up and spend some much needed time with my best friend. I needed his advice. He eagerly agreed, telling me to meet at him at one of his favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurants. After having Bella fax over a couple of bill statements to a relatively agitated client, I rushed out to meet Emmett.

Once there, I found him sitting at our designated table, already inhaling a rather large plate of barbeque ribs. Shaking my head, I walked over to him and pulled out a chair. "Have you ever heard of table manners?"

Around a mouthful of food, he garbled, "I ro have table mamers."

I laughed, "Yes, that's very apparent right now."

Waving over the waitress, I ordered a glass of lemon water and a chicken salad, smiling widely at her in hopes of lessening the wait time. With a blush and a giggle, she scampered off.

Worked every time.

Wiping his mouth, Emmett took a big gulp of his beer. "So, how has Seattle been, man?"

"I'm great, thanks. And you?" I snorted as the waitress placed my water in front of me and I flashed her a smile. When I turned back to Emmett, he shrugged his huge shoulders apologetically.

"Sorry. Just curious," he replied. I rolled my eyes. I knew what he was really asking. He wasn't interested with my exploration of the city itself, or even the word I had been doing, but more about my bedroom exploits.

"It's been...more than I was expecting," I answered, unsure of how to explain exactly what had been happening between Jasper and I.

"How so?" he asked with a quirk of his thick brow.

Taking a deep breath, I declared, "I like him, Emmett, more than I should."

"Who? Your escort?" he whispered, confusion coloring his tone as he glanced around to be sure he wasn't heard. Nodding, I held back a grimace as his eyes widened and his mouth fell open. Just then, the waitress brought over my salad and asked if I needed anything else. Smiling gratefully, I waited until she had walked back to the kitchen, her hips swaying a bit too much, before looking back at Emmett. His facial expression still hadn't changed while I took the time to pour some dressing on my salad.

"I was hoping you'd actually have some advice, asshole. Not just sit there gaping like an idiot."

That seemed to wake him up, and he finally closed his mouth and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "I'm sorry, man, I just wasn't expecting that," he said, looking down at the table for a moment before looking back at me. "So...you like him?"

Sighing, I nodded again.

"Okay," he remarked slowly. "And...does he like you?"

"I think so. He said he does...well, he told me that he feels something more with me than he does with his other clients." I told him, cringing at the word 'cliens' as it left my mouth.

Finally, he spoke. "Edward, look, I...I'm not trying to be insensitive here or anything but...did you ever think that maybe he was just saying that because he was paid too?"

Frowning, I swallowed a bit of food and shook my head. "He wasn't on paid time when he said it. We were on a date."

His eyes widened again and I briefly realized that he had completely ignored his food since my admission. "A date?"

Nodding again, I told him the story, telling him all the places Jasper had taken me and the things we had shared. He listened intently, nodding every once and again and laughing when I told him my experience at the night club. Finally, I reached the end of the story and waited with bated breath for his thoughts.

"Well," he started, paying attention to his food once again. "Then, maybe I jumped to conclusions. Maybe he did mean it."

"That isn't what I want to hear. I'm sure he meant it. What I want to know is if you think this is a bad idea. I need your help here, Emmett."

Furrowing his brow, he finished his food before speaking. "Honestly?" I nodded. "I'm not sure about this, Edward. I mean, if you get emotionally invested...where could it possibly go?"

Suddenly, I wasn't all that hungry anymore. Pushing my plate away, I sat back and sighed. "I think I may be already emotionally invested. I feel things with him, Emmett. Things that I've never felt before. I find myself looking for any excuse to get back to Seattle early, just to be with him."

"Does he know that you're not out?" he asked with a pointed look as if to say 'I know that's not going to change'.

"Yes, he does. Look, Emmett, we aren't exactly talking marriage here, okay? We just had a date. A _first _date," I emphasized. "We are not picking out China patterns."

Sighing, he finished his drink and shrugged. "Then, I guess, for now, it's fine. I'm not trying to burst your bubble or downplay your feelings for this guy, I'm just trying to be realistic."

"I know," I muttered, agreeing sadly. "So any advice?"

"Yeah, take it slow, keep it real, and don't get too involved."

_Too late._

He continued, "I don't want to see you get hurt. You're my best friend. I want you to know that I have no problem flying out to Seattle to kick some ass if this guy fucks up," he said seriously.

I chuckled. "My knight in shining armor," I said with an airy tone. "And barbeque sauce." I pointed to the leftovers on his chin.

Laughing, he wiped his mouth with the thick cloth napkin. "Seriously, just be careful," he warned.

"Yes, father," I murmured sarcastically. "Besides, even if this doesn't go anywhere, at least the sex-"

He quickly threw up his hand. "No! We're close, man, but we ain't that close. This conversation stops here."

We laughed and I changed the subject, asking him how he'd been and if he met anyone lately. He went on to tell me about a beautiful blond he'd been on a couple dates with, going into a little too much detail about her "assets" and talents in the bedroom. I simply stopped him by threatening to tell him about how big Jasper's dick was and what amazing blow jobs he gave. He didn't say much about the blond after that.

After our rather long lunch, I headed back to the office. Suffering through another meeting, I dotted all the right Is and crossed all the necessary Ts, even giving a pep talk to some of my colleagues for all the hard work they had been putting in during my absences. I meant every word I had said to them, enjoying the way they had all shone with pride after it was over.

Two conference calls later, I was mentally drained and physically exhausted. Making my way back to my office to close everything up for the night, I nodded to Bella as she passed me in the hall.

"Go home, it's after eight," I chided her gently, even though I admired her dedication.

"Yes, Edward," she smiled. "Have a good night."

"You too."

I was definitely ready to get home and give Jasper a call, excited to hear his voice and possibly his heavy breathing if the conversation went the way I was hoping it might. I forced the thoughts that he might be…busy out of my head.

"And here I thought you preferred brunettes."

Startled, I looked around quickly, squinting through the dim light as I tried to make out the figure that had spoken. My heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest, I finally recognized who the voice belonged too.

Sitting in my chair with his feet propped up on my desk was Spencer, a smug grin on his face. Confused, I took a few steps toward him and noticed he was holding something in his hand, studying it rather intensely as his grin turned from smug to amused.

He was holding the pictures of Jasper and me.

Silently, I berated myself for not having locked my door when I had run out to lunch with Emmett.

"I wouldn't have pegged you as the sentimental type but I guess I was wrong. You look quite happy in these. He must be very special to you," he said, keeping his eyes on the images in his hand. "Honestly, Edward," he glanced up from the pictures to look at me. "I would have thought you'd be smarter than to bring something like this to work. That's very careless. You never know who could be...snooping around."

"What the fuck are you doing?" I whispered harshly, careful not to raise my voice and draw attention to anyone that might be left in the offices.

"Just thought I drop by on my break from school, I came to see you, and was going to leave you a note. Imagine my surprise when I found these in the desk instead of a pad of paper," he shrugged nonchalantly, sliding the pictures into his jacket pocket.

"You are not taking those," I growled, taking another step, in warning, toward my desk.

"I already have."

Incredulous at his behavior and thoroughly pissed off, my fists clenched at my sides. "Do you have any idea what I could do to you? This is a violation of my personal-"

"Uh, uh, uh, Edward. Might want to watch that tone with me." He slid his feet back to the floor and leaned forward, placing his elbows up on the desk and clasping his hands together. "You won't do anything to me. You can't. What would you say, Edward? You caught me going through your things? I wouldn't advise that because," he stood up and started walking towards me, "these pictures might find their way to the inbox of every board member and local papers, as well as your father. We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?"

I froze.

"Why are you doing this, Spencer? What is it that you want that your daddy can't get for you?" I spat at him, my resolve quickly rebuilding, my mind automatically going to damage control.

Looking into my eyes, he laughed lightly. "It's really very simple actually. I want to work...with you."

He was blackmailing me, to out me, to ruin my entire career and potentially turn my family against me, as well as everyone else I had ever known for a job. If I thought my heart had been racing before, it was nothing compared to what it was doing right then. I shook my head to try to clear the dizziness I suddenly felt and I swayed a bit at the motion.

"What?" I questioned, completely confused by his request. Technically, Spencer didn't have to work at all if he didn't want, his family had inherited more than enough money for the next three generations to remain work free, but it was more than that, he had always wanted to work with me. "Last time I checked, your daddy made sure you were going to have a job here right out of college."

Rolling his eyes, he turned around and went to sit on the black leather couch against the wall on far side. Plopping down, he leaned back and crossed his legs. "That's exactly my point. I'm tired of being my father's errand boy. I'm going to show him that I'm better at this job than he is and I need your help to do that. You'll tell your father that you need my assistance with this merger and that you are assigning me as your… partner of sorts. He won't question it. You get to keep your secret and, once my father realizes I've caught the eye," he smirked at his play on words, "of Mr. Edward Cullen, I will get to rub my success in his face. It's a win-win situation."

He was out of his mind. I couldn't just appoint him to a substantial position like that, especially not on a merger that was so important. But what choice did I have? It was obvious to see that he wasn't playing a game, I knew without a doubt that he would out me in a heartbeat if I didn't give him what he wanted, and I couldn't let that happen.

"There really isn't much considering to do, Edward," he spoke when I failed to respond. "You don't really have a choice here. You can't say no because if you do, everyone will know all about your little boytoy you're keeping in Seattle. I know how deep that closet is that you stay in, do you really want me to force you out of it? Because I will," his voice hardened with a threatening tone. "I'll drag you out, kicking and screaming."

"Don't you still have classes?" I snapped, hoping to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

Nodding, he stretched his arms along the back of the couch. "I graduate, summa cum laude, in two weeks. Hell, Edward, I will have had more education under my belt than you do. It's not like I'm not qualified and you know it."

"Educationally, you are qualified, but there is a more to this job than sitting in any class can teach you," I took a step toward him, and for one brief moment, considering tackling him for the pictures.

Tilting his head, he watched me approach warily. "Exactly what I am expecting you to teach me," he grinned. "Deal?" he asked, patting his jacket pocket.

Hanging my head in defeat, my shoulders slumped and I sighed. "Fine, you have a deal. I'll speak to my father first thing in the morning."

"Good, I'm glad that's settled," he said cheerily as he rose from the couch and made his way toward me.

"I'll take those pictures back now," I reminded him, holding out my open palm.

Smirking, he replied, "No, I think I'll hang onto them for now. When I make my first trip to Seattle with you, I'll give them back."

"Get out," I demanded through clenched teeth.

"Oh, don't be that way," he chided condescendingly, standing so close to me I could smell his cologne. "You know, we could really make the most of this, Edward. This doesn't have to be...strictly business," he said lowly as he brushed the back of his hand over my crotch. "You and I…alone in a hotel suite. Just think of the possibilities."

He took advantage of my shock at his blatant pass and pressed right up against me, continuing to rub my cock through my slacks and leaned forward to whisper in my ear. "You'd be amazed at all the things I'd be up for. Would you like to bend me over and spank me, let me know how much of a naughty boy I've been? Maybe tie me up and fuck me so hard, I'll still feel you in me the next day? I'll make you feel things, Edward, that your boytoy can't even imagine."

The fantasy I'd had of Spencer and I in the bathroom was distant but I recalled it with perfect clarity.

My traitor cock was at war with my brain as I battled between disgust and arousal. Hard and throbbing, my cock strained against my suit pants even as I fought back the bile that rose in my throat. His words and the movements of his hand made my body respond eagerly and I couldn't help the images that were flooding my mind of Spencer bent over my desk, suit pants around his ankle as I spanked his bare ass with my hand.

"I remember the way you looked at me at the last banquet…and the benefit before that. I know you want me. I could drop down and suck you off right now, if you'll let me. This little arrangement could be very beneficial for the both of us, Edward, and not just in our careers." His lips brushed over my ear, close enough so I felt their whisper touches as he spoke.

Swallowing hard, I ignored the ache in my groin and finally managed to push his hand away. "Get out," I repeated, sounding a little out of breath.

Smirking again, he simply shrugged and walked past me to the door. "Think about it, Edward. I'm sure you'll change your mind."

With that, he closed the door to my office.

I barely made it to the couch before I collapsed and began to control my breathing, trying to make my erection disappear and wrap my head around what had just happened. The only thought I could come up with was not one that was at all useful.

I was so fucked.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Poor Edward….


	13. If I Only had a Heart

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Back to Jasper, and the fallout from Edward's sticky situation…epically long author's note at the bottom. Huge hugs to Dannie for her preread/encouragement/beta on this chapter.

Big thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

Thank you, thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, favorited or alerted M&A, seriously, y'all blow me away...you're the best!

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"Harder," he grunted, "fuck me harder."

Growling, I dug my fingernails into his hips so deep he would have crescent marks for days, and thrust into him with more force than ever before. Bent over the back of my couch, in front of him his outstretched arms clutched uselessly at the cushions while his hips bucked forward into my couch as he attempted to fuck it, seeking whatever friction he could.

Every ounce of energy I had went into fucking him, into getting him the release that he craved, and that I needed.

"Yeah, right there, fuck, right there," he moaned in pleasure, pushing his ass back and against me. "Fucking God damn, fucking….close…gonna fucking…come." My fingers slipped on his sweaty skin, but I held him to me and slammed into him again. Letting out a ferocious roar, his cock exploded, short, strong streams of cum hitting the back of the leather couch, running down it in thick, creamy lines. I felt his body tense and release, his ass clenching around my cock so fucking tight I felt the warmth begin to spread throughout my body.

"Fuck," I practically screamed as my orgasm ripped through my body, every muscle tightening in anticipation of the waves of pleasure, of pure physical bliss, that hit me in bursts. Twitching and pulsing inside him, my cock emptied into the condom, filling it with hot cum. Exhausted, I bent over him, my forehead on his back as I panted, my hips continuing to jerk into him without any rhythm. "Jesus…" I moaned, a slight smile coming to my face as I felt him laughing under me.

"Well, no, but I think I've come close to meeting him a few times, right before he banned me from heaven and sent my delicious ass back to Earth for you to fuck," he teased, wiggling his ass against me. My overly sensitive cock sent the last bolts of ecstasy through me as I pulled my hips back, letting my cock slip from his used hole. Chuckling at his comment, I placed my hands on his back to push my worn body upright.

It had been a long fucking week and I was fucking beyond tired.

The sun had just been rising, and I had only been home long enough to take my shoes and shirt off before collapsing onto the couch. The night had been busy, three clients; one blow job, one fuck, and one that just wanted to watch me dance and wank. I hadn't been that used since I had been on the streets, it was a schedule I certainly didn't miss. However, Tanya had warned me that my nights were going to get tougher, word was spreading about me and I was getting more and more requests.

My cock might have protested but my wallet didn't. I needed the money, I was going to take anything and everything I could, from the wanks to the orgies…there wasn't anything I was going to say no to.

I had almost been asleep when I heard my door buzzer. At first, I was going to yell for them to fuck off, but then climbed off the couch and opened the door.

He still looked like shit, but better. For once, he was relatively clean, although his hair hadn't been washed in a few days. He was shaking less than usual, he was either at the very end of a high, or had barely begun the new one. With a sly grin, he pushed past me without an invitation and made himself at home on my couch.

"What the fuck do you want?" I asked, closing the door and turning toward him.

Lazily turning his head the side, he smiled at me. "Can't a guy just come by to say hi to his friend?" he mocked.

"Friend?" I quirked a brow at him.

"Do you prefer the term 'fuckbuddy'?" he asked. Shrugging, I sat down next to him, putting my bare feet on the table.

"If the red ruby shoe fits…"

He gasped, placing a hand over his heart. "That's offensive, we are so much more than that," he mocked with a chuckle.

"Are we?" I turned my head toward him. "Isn't what you're here for? A fuck?"

"And shower, and food," he filled in the rest for me. Quickly he moved so that he was straddling me, his cock already hardening as he sat on my lap, his hands in my hair, pulling my head back so he could have access my neck.

His lips felt delicious on me.

It felt even better when he bit down.

"You better not fucking mark me," I warned him, but leaned my head back giving him more room. "Last time you did that shit, I had to wear fucking make up for a week." Moaning against me, he shoved his hips forward. "You used to just let me fuck you, now I have to give you food and a shower?" I snickered and felt him smile against my skin.

With one exaggerated thrust, his large cock rubbing mine, he mumbled, "But I'm worth it…"

Yes, yes, he was.

Minutes later, he was naked and bent over the back of the couch while I fucked him.

Taking a step back, I almost stumbled in my exhaustion but he had stood and caught me. Wordlessly, I led him to the bedroom, pulling him down with me as I lay on top of the blankets.

"Don't fucking try to steal from me again," I warned him as I put an arm around him and he lay his head on my chest.

"I won't," he promised, and although I didn't quite believe him, I pulled him closer. Seconds later, his breathing evened out. My body was satisfied and at peace, every muscle ached with a pleasurable burn, my cock was limp and finally sated, but my mind was unsettled.

I hadn't heard from Edward in a week.

No texts, no messages, no calls…fucking nothing.

The day he had left, I had paced my living room, debating on whether or not to call or text him. We had sent a few messages back and forth during the week, but had had no real contact. Pausing, I had looked out my window, the city below me bustling in the early morning rush. Glancing at the sidewalks, I had seen a couple kissing by a car, hugging before the man got into the car and left, waving goodbye.

I needed to see him again.

Grabbing my jacket, I had left my apartment in a sprint down to the lobby, calling for a cab as soon as I exited the doors. The second he answered his door, I knew I was there for more than goodbye hug, but it didn't matter. What mattered was the way he had pulled me to him, clutching me as he sighed in relief. What mattered was the pull had lessened, easing the tight hold on my heart as long as he was near. I left him satisfied with promises to stay in touch throughout the two weeks, but I hadn't heard from him since his first night home.

The first few days, I hadn't thought much of it, I was sure he was busy with work, and I had been busy with clients. The days went fast and I had barely noticed. Then Aro was driving me to an appointment near the beach and we passed the arcade that had the photo booth in it and I suddenly felt a tightening in my chest, not quite a pain but the pull that had lightened up during out time together instantly came back and took my fucking breath right out of my lungs. Panting in the back seat, Aro had looked up into the rearview mirror and asked if I was okay. I nodded and he kept driving.

Since then I had been almost fucking counting the hours until we would see each other again, and wondering why the fuck I hadn't heard from him. Religiously, I had checked my phone, even sending myself a test message to be sure it was working. I had told myself to not worry, to not care, that it didn't matter, he was just a fucking client.

But it did matter.

And he wasn't just a fucking client.

Although I couldn't tell what he was, what _we_ were, even though I had tried to put a name to it, I had failed miserably each and every fucking time. I had figured out one thing and one thing only…whatever the fuck we were, it wasn't anything normal.

Of course, my biggest concern had been that he had found out I had been a hooker, that I had worked the streets, been homeless for two years, and that I had been fucked and used beyond anyone's imagination, including his. What rich, educated guy would want a street hooker whose only education was in surviving the streets?

It didn't matter. It was a past I couldn't change, no matter how many times I had wished it away.

My thoughts raced, trying to reason the lack of contact, but always returned to Edward knowing about my past. Riley sighed in his sleep and I leaned my head and kissed his hair, my hand stroking his back as my eyes drifted closed.

At least Riley accepted me for who I was.

Seconds later, a pitiful sleep pulled me into its darkness.

"_No one will want this ass when I'm done with it," he groaned into my ear, the stench of his breath washing over my face as he thrust into me. The bed squeaked with each of his movements, the iron legs scraping along the tiled floor in short, jerky movements. My legs were spread wide; my betraying cock was getting hard from the friction of being pressed into the mattress. His weight was heavy; his body odor filled my lungs with each breath I tried not to take. "Tell me, tell me," he demanded. _

"_I love you fucking me," I lied through gritted teeth as I turned my head to the side and gasped for air. He had gotten into the habit of wanting to hear me beg for him, beg for him to rape me. It didn't matter if I said it or not, he did it anyway but if I had refused to say it, not only would he fuck me but he would make sure he left a little something extra behind. _

_Like pissing on my back after he came, or putting a hickey on my neck so huge I couldn't hide it and had to tell the nurse I had been bitten by something during the night so I could get a bandage to cover it. One time he had even threatened to loan my ass out to his new friend, a kid from the gulf coast like myself. That was the worst thing, to be raped by one kid was bad enough but to be passed around to others was a far worse fate. _

_He had also taken to having me completely naked. It wasn't good enough anymore to pull my pants down and my shirt up. He would warn me during the day of his visit that night, and my instructions were to be 'naked and hard'. _

_The first night, I was neither, but he had fucked me anyway. Then he beat me in the bathroom the next day as his friend held me, all of his punches landing on my stomach and ribs so has not to be visible to anyone. _

_The next time he came to me, I was naked and hard. _

_As he got closer to coming, I opened my eyes and saw the boy in the bed next to me staring at me, there was no shock in his eyes as he witnessed my rape, in fact, I could make out his hand under his sheets as he stroked himself. Coming with a contained moan, he gave me a slight smile before turning over and falling asleep. _

_He was actually one of the few people in there I considered a friend, at least during the day, at night, I was apparently nothing more than his personal porn show. _

_The Home did not have an 'all for one and one for all' attitude, it was a 'look out for yourself and don't give a fuck about anyone else' kind of place. _

_Grunting, Ian pushed into me, his thrusts slow and steady, trying to be as quiet as possible but as he neared his climax, he began to lose control and started pounding into me, not caring who heard or saw us. _

_I didn't care anymore either. _

"_Your ass is going to be so fucking used by the time you leave, you won't be good for nothing. No one will want such a fucked up whore. You hear me, Jasper, no one will ever want you…or your ass." Just as he finished, he came hard, his cock bursting, his cum filling me as his body seized and shuddered above me. Slipping out as soon as he was done, I felt his cum leak from my hole, my legs still spread as he kneeled between them. "Feel that Jasper? My cum in your used hole? That means you're a whore and nothing else," he paused and I felt his fingers in my ass. "A fucking good whore though." Pulling on my shoulder, he forced me to roll over and before I could protest, stuck his cum-covered finger in my mouth. "Suck it," he demanded._

_I did as I was told. _

"_Remember what I said," he smirked as he got off the bed and grabbed his clothes from the floor. _

_Rolling over to my opposite side, I felt his cum seep from me, I tasted it in my mouth, I felt his sweat on my back…and I remembered what he had said. _

'_No one will want such a fucked up whore.'_

_He was right. No one would ever want me. _

"Jasper?" The voice was gentle, but insistent. Then I felt a hand on me, trying to pull me over, to shove cum-covered fingers into my mouth. Instinctively, I struck out with my arm to protect myself, pushing the body off me and onto the bed. "Jesus, it's me, it's me," the voice tried to explain. I opened my eyes and found Riley next to me, looking down at me with confusion. "You alright?" he asked with genuine concern.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded. Sitting up, he put one arm over me, bracing himself up on his palm while he laid his other hand over my racing heart.

"Scared the shit out of me," he began, "I was sleeping all fucking peaceful like, then you started thrashing around, saying some shit about how 'he was right'. Took me forever to get you to wake up."

"Sorry," I mumbled, rubbing my face with my hands.

"You been having them again?" he asked, his fingers absently stroking my chest. Riley knew about my nightmares. I had gone through times where they were more frequent than others and he had witnessed a few of those times. On the streets, we would sometimes find a place to lay, to close our eyes and feel relatively safe so we could rest. Although neither of us ever felt completely safe, so we would watch each other sleep, a lookout of sorts. Riley had seen my past torture me in the form of nightmares firsthand, although it had been months before I had told him what the nightmares were about.

Confirming with another nod, I sighed.

"A lot?"

"I don't know, a few a week I guess," I said with a non-convincing shrug. He raised an eyebrow. "Almost nightly," I admitted.

I knew why I was having them, but there was no way to stop them. Until I was free and clear with James, my past was going to haunt me nightly.

With the exception of the rare nights I didn't have them.

When I had been with Edward, wrapped in his protective embrace, I had spent my nights in a sound, peaceful sleep. Somehow, Edward had kept my demons at bay, granting me a quiet that I hadn't had known since my early childhood. A calm settled over me with Edward, the nearness of his body eased that pull and ache, but also sent a charge through my system that felt like I was pumping adrenaline with each beat of my heart. It was a tug of war that raged inside me every time I was with him, one I gladly suffered through.

I felt Riley's fingers on my nipples, teasing them with not so gentle tugs. Tired eyes behind black waves watched for my reaction.

"Do you believe in love?" I blurted out to him unexpectedly. Not stopping his fingers, he thought for a moment, his brows knitted together as he considered my words carefully, like I had just asked him to solve the federal fucking deficit or something.

"Like at first sight? I've heard of that shit in the movies but-"

"No, not first sight, just…love, do you think people can fall in love?"

Shrugging, he replied, "I guess so. I don't know," he paused, then smirked. "Are you in love with me, Jas?"

Rolling my eyes, I smiled. "You're a good fuck, Rile, but that is far from love."

"Is it?" he countered seriously.

"Yeah, I think so."

Suddenly, his fingers stilled their teasing, and I moaned at the loss of the sensation, my back arching into his touch in hopes he would continue.

"Wait, are you saying you're in love with someone?"

"Fuck no…I was just…wondering what it felt like," I explained, but even as the words left my mouth, I felt like I was lying.

"Just happy I guess. Like really good sex but you don't have to even be in bed for it," he replied honestly before, thank fucking God, his fingers began moving again. I smiled up at him and reaching up, pushed his hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. Riley might have been drug-addicted whore, but from what I could tell, his interpretation of love was sweet, honest and fucking dead on.

His lips replaced his fingers on my nipples and my hand weaved into his dirty hair to keep him to me as my hips bucked up. Suddenly, he stopped and looked at me.

"You saw James yesterday," he stated, and I knew he was making the connection to my nightmare. On my way to find James, I had seen Riley getting out of a car, and he had nodded as I passed. "How much is left?"

"Let me deal with that," I said firmly, wanting the subject dropped. The less he knew the better, James had already threatened him if I didn't pay and honestly, I didn't trust Riley, not completely anyway. I had been making slow progress with James, he will still upping it two thousand a week, and I had been consistently paying one, though the day before I had been able to hand him four grand, and it had broke my heart to do it. I had been able to keep my head above water and keep James satisfied but it was only a matter of time until he wanted a lump sum.

Or worse.

Knowing I wasn't going to give him any more details, Riley returned his mouth to my nipple, his hands freely roaming my body, quickly awakening it from the hazy sleep I had been in. With leisurely kisses, he covered every inch of my chest and abs. It was something different for us. We were all about the fucking, not the foreplay. When his lips reached the 'v' on my left hip, he left wet kisses along the scar there. It was the one area on my body, besides my cock, that he always paid attention to, always with a kiss or feather light touch.

"Sorry," he muttered against my heated skin.

"Doesn't matter," I reassured him, as I always did when he apologized for it. With a sigh, he lifted his head, but his hands continued to travel over me, fingers brushing over my hipbone and through the dusting of hair above my cock, which was throbbing inches from his face, eager to have his skilled lips around it.

I loved fucking his face.

"But you got it because of me, if I hadn't gotten into that car-"

"Rile, don't worry about it. You did what you had to do, and so did I. They guy was just looking for a reason to fuck anyone up, we're lucky it wasn't worse."

I had known Riley for about four months, but we hadn't begun fucking yet, and I felt like he was the only friend I had on the streets. We had an unspoken pact to watch out for each other. Before he was constantly fucked up, it was a pretty even trade, but after his drug use got heavier, I began to watch out for him a fuck of a lot more than he watched out for me. One night, I had just climbed out of a car after giving head to some forty-year-old overweight married man and had heard grunting coming from the alley we all used to fuck in when a car wasn't available. The grunting itself wasn't unusual, it was the moans of pain that went with it. Sprinting down the alley, I saw Riley on the ground in the fetal position, his face bloodied and bruised, his arms wrapped around his middle trying to protect himself from further blows. A john was standing above him, kicking him with force.

"Teach you to use your teeth on my cock you fucking whore," he spit down at Riley. I grabbed the guy from behind but not before he was able to reach into his pocket and pull out a switchblade. Reaching behind him, he sank it shallowly into me, dragging it before pushing me down and running off. Holding my side, I kneeled by Riley and checked him over. I was pretty certain he had a few fractures, and his ribs were at the very least bruised but he was breathing pretty steadily, although not without pain.

"You okay, Rile?" I asked him, helping him sit up. Leaning against the wall, he nodded and began to check over his injuries.

"Fucking asshole," he yelled down the alley to the john that was long gone. "Didn't even fucking pay me for the blow job." Forcing open his swollen eyes, he looked at me. "Did you beat him up, Jas?"

Weakly, I shook my head and leaned back to show him my shirt. There was a rip, about four inches long, on the lower left side and the shirt was beginning to soak with my blood.

"Holy shit," he exclaimed, lifting the shirt to see the damage. "You need help, Jas, that looks bad."

"No, no hospitals." He nodded, understanding completely. Hospitals asked way too many fucking questions, and none of us liked questions.

"Wait here, I'll be back in a few minutes," he said, placing me against the wall before he stood up. Breathing heavily, I attempted to nod, but felt weaker by the minute. The last thing I remember was seeing him running down the alley in the same direction the john had.

When I woke up, I was laying on a dirty mattress on the floor of a rundown building. The place reeked of piss, sex, and body odor but I could have cared less. A sharp pain tore through my abdomen when I went to move and my hand immediately went to my left side.

"Try to stay still," a quiet, shaky voice instructed me. "The stitches need some time to set."

"Stitches?" I asked, confused. Unless I was in a pretty fucking unsanitary one, I knew I wasn't in a hospital, so how the hell had I gotten stitches? Focusing my eyes, I saw a guy squatting next to the mattress, medical supplies scattered at his feet as he nervously puffed on a cigarette. Riley appeared in my line of vision and sat down on the mattress next to me. His face was cleaned of blood, but he was sporting two black eyes and a swollen lip.

"Blondie," Riley used my nickname on the streets, "this is Ricky." Ricky gave me a curt nod and inhaled his cigarette deeply. "Ricky," he continued, "is a med school dropout. He told me what to get and he stitched you up."

"Thanks," I mumbled to Ricky, pushing myself up with one hand while my other held my side to prevent my insides from coming out. I fucking prayed his stitches would hold.

Ricky shrugged. "No big deal. Not very pretty though. It's been awhile and I've only done stitches on pig skin before. I'd say your nude modeling days are over," he smirked, shaking his long, dark hair from his face.

Riley chuckled and gave me smile. "How will you make your millions now?"

I didn't want to, but I laughed, and the pain shot through me. "Fuck," I hissed, lying back down. "It fucking hurts."

"Yeah, it's going to hurt for awhile. He missed vital organs but the blade still went in pretty deep. Nice long gash. You were lucky," Ricky explained.

I didn't feel very lucky.

"Thanks, Ricky," Riley said to him, effecting dismissing him. "I'll watch him."

"Okay," Ricky said, standing up. "You know where to find me if you need me." Riley nodded and mumbled another thanks as Ricky sauntered off, weaving back and forth off balance.

"Med school?" I asked after he had left.

"Yep, was top of his class too, fucking brilliant. Then he got a bit to used to the uppers he was using to stay awake to study, began using downers to counteract it and well… one drug led to another. One of his professors caught him stealing and they expelled him. Parents kicked him out and he's been on the streets ever since."

"What a waste," I sighed, rolling over onto my uninjured side. "Drugs just fuck up your life." Riley agreed completely, even as his hands dug into his pockets for another hit. "I can't believe you let a fucked up med school dropout stitch me up."

"Would you rather I had done it? Or let you bleed to death? Trust me, his fucked up med school skills are way better than half the ERs around here. Just rest, man. I'll watch out for ya," he promised.

Whether he would or wouldn't, it didn't matter, I passed the fuck out anyway.

"I should go," Riley sighed, his warm breath washing over my cock pulled me from my memories. Thinking about Riley, and what had happened later that night after I had felt better, made my erection throb.

It had been the first night I fucked him.

"Not until you suck me," I said, looking down at him. Dark eyes flashed up to me before he obediently opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around my cock. "Yeah…such a good whore," I murmured, my hands going to his head to guide him. "Mmmm," I moaned as he tightened his lips and I fucked his face.

His mouth on my cock forced the bad memories and nightmares aside, even easing the sinking feeling of why Edward hadn't contacted me.

"**~~**"

"We're here," Aro said as he put the car into park. Seconds later, he was opening my door and I was climbing out, pulling the long jacket around me to ward off the drizzle that fell continuously. "One hour?"

"Yes," I answered and headed up the walkway to the huge house. After I rang the doorbell, he answered much like he had the first time, in nothing but an unbuttoned white dress shirt. His already hard cock bouncing as he moved.

"Take off your coat and shoes," he told me as I stepped inside. Undoing the buttons, I slid the coat off my shoulders, satisfied when I heard him gasp at my shirtless chest. Per the instructions, I was dressed in nothing but a pair of tight, black leather pants with a panel in the front. Taking my coat, he hung it on a hook by the door and then turned back to me. "Follow me."

Doing as he asked, I followed him up the stairs but instead of leading me to their bedroom, he walked past it and led me into another room. It was dim, and mostly empty of furniture except for the equipment in the center of it and the shelves that lined the walls.

"Spank her," he said as he walked over and sat in a chair against the wall. That's when I saw her, strapped face down to a bench about waist high, she was naked and already writhing just from his words. Silently, I walked over to her, running my hand down her back and feeling her shudder under my touch. Straining against her bonds, she turned her head, giving me a small smile when she recognized me. Without hesitation or apology, I swung my hand back and let my open palm strike her right on the flesh of her ass. Her entire body jerked forward under the force of my blow, and without him telling me to do it, I reached back and spanked her three more times consecutively, each time the handprint I left behind becoming redder. Ascending moans escaped from her as her body accepted my blows. Alec rose from the chair and walked behind me, pressing his body to mine as he looked at his wife over my shoulder, his almost bare chest against my back.

"Beautiful," he commented on my work before walking around me and expertly undoing her bindings. She rolled onto her back as soon as she was freed and Alec leaned over and gave her a deep kiss, his fingers seeking out her folds. Breaking the kiss, he stood up and moved around the bench, cuffing her wrists and ankles again. She was now on her back, her blond hair splayed beneath her, her legs spread and bound in front of me. I could see her sex glistening as her juices flowed liberally from her.

"Go down on her," Alec said, stepping off to the side. As I lowered myself in front of his wife, my cock hardened against the confining leather pants, not because I could smell her arousal, but because out of my eye I saw him remove his shirt, letting it fall to the floor before he reached for his cock and began languidly stroking himself. Reaching up, I spread her folds with the fingers of one hand, darting my tongue out to taste her for the first time. Her whimpers and the way she desperately attempted to grind herself against my face went straight to my cock and it began to throb. I pulled away, teasing her with the very tip of my tongue and she released a long groan of frustration. Feeling in control, my cock loved the rare dominant position I was in, I realized how much I enjoyed having her at my mercy. Unable to resist her quiet pleas, I lapped her from top to bottom, even teasing her asshole with my tongue before licking my way back to her clit, which was practically pulsing with the need for release. Rapidly flicking the tip of my tongue over her clit, I reached up with my other hand, easily slipping two fingers into her hot sex.

Going down on a woman was something I excelled it. It was the most common request on the streets from the woman johns. Most were happily married but had husbands that had something against eating out their wives.

I, on the other hand, enjoyed it.

The taste, the softness of their skin, the wetness they produced and fuck…the sounds they made drove me insane.

Still, a slick pussy was nothing compared to a hard cock.

"Fucking hot," Alec murmured from beside me, his cock level with my mouth as he stroked it and I was tempted to bail on her and turn to take her husband's cock into my mouth. "How's he feel?" he asked his wife. She answered with a long wail of pleasure, and I smiled into her pussy as my fingers pumped in and out of her, curling them on the inside in hopes of hitting that magical spot deep in her. On either side of my head, I felt the muscles of her thighs tightening with effort of reaching her released. When she began to squirm, I pulled away.

"Hold still," I said before leaning forward and taking her clit between my lips, sucking on it. Grinding wantonly against my face, she moaned, and I returned it, knowing the vibrations on her clit would feel amazing. Beside me, Alec took a step forward and put his hand in my hair, weaving his fingers tightly. He didn't guide my head, rather just rested in his hand there while I worked his wife into a frenzy.

Briefly, while I sucked on her clit and shoved my fingers into her, I wondered if watching someone else pleasure your soul mate was love. Was it generous to hire someone to do things to your wife that you didn't enjoy, or was it perverse? Was it cruel to have someone else spank her, even though she clearly enjoyed it? Was it love to know what your partner needed and provide it, no matter how bad it made you feel? Was love the ultimate sacrifice?

"Make her come," he told me. Nodding, I pumped my fingers faster a few times before pulling them out, enjoying her exasperated sigh at the loss of contact. Instead, I used my fingers to spread her wide and alternated strokes, flicked and sucked her clit until I felt it tighten, her entire body tensing as her orgasm hit her.

"Alec!" she screamed in her euphoria and once again, I had done all the work while he received all the credit.

While the ecstasy flowed through her, I prolonged it by nipping her clit between my lips, enjoying the way her hips bucked and twisted against my face.

"Very good," Alec said, but I wasn't sure if he was complimenting me or her. His hand was still in my hair and he tugged on it sharply, urging me to my feet. As soon as I was standing, he spun me to face him, his lips crushing mine. His tongue entered my mouth without asking, seeking out his wife's unique taste as it tangled with my own. Moaning into the kiss, I put my hands on his naked hips and pulled him to me, forcing our cocks to rub together, his erection teasing mine though the leather.

Now that was more like it.

Breaking the kiss, he let his lips travel over my jaw and down my neck, pausing to suck on my Adam's apple, the entire time thrusting his hips toward mine. With one hand still in my hair, he reached down between us and unsnapped the panel of the leather pants, freeing my erection. I sucked in a breath when our cocks met again, skin on skin. My hands traveled over his body, enjoying the full, strong muscles under his skin. It wasn't often I had been with someone so built, and I enjoyed the strength he possessed.

There was nothing between us but pure, sexual energy.

Fuck, I didn't even like the guy, but…he was fucking hot.

"I want to suck you," he mumbled against my neck before pulling back. Nodding, I released him and let him lead me to the side of the bench. Jane was still bound to it; her body limp and sated as she stared at us with lust-glazed eyes. "You watching?" he asked her as he slid down my body until he was kneeling before me. The panel on my pants was already open, hanging only by the two buttons on the bottom as he took my cock into his mouth, immediately sucking around me, pulling me deep into his throat.

"Fuck," I cried out, my heading lolling back and my eyes practically rolling back into my head as he began to move. Anxious for more, I moved my hands from my side to his head, holding it as he bobbed up and down my cock with expertise. One of his hands reached down to stroke himself while the other fondled my balls, pinching the loose skin before squeezing between my thighs. Widening my stance, I gave him room as his finger worked its way to my hole. Circling it once, his finger pushed inside and I emitted a guttural moan. Torn between pushing down onto his finger or thrusting my hips forward to fuck his face faster, I gasped in shallow breaths, savoring the feeling of his tongue as it swirled around my head and dipped into the slit before he swallowed around me again. Inside me, his finger impatiently fucked me, bringing me to the brink of an orgasm much faster than I had intended. Sensing I was close, he slowed down both his mouth and his finger to a teasingly unhurried pace and I cried out in frustration as the tingling that had begun to spread waned. My cock slipped from his mouth when he sat back on his heels, but his finger remained in me and I fucked it, moving my hips up and down as he watched me intensely.

"So fucking hot," he growled, watching my cock bounce as I tried to get off on just his finger in me alone.

"More," I begged, "please."

Suddenly, there was a second finger in my hole and I hissed through clenched teeth. Opening my eyes, I looked down at him and saw him stroking himself, precum leaking from his cock and onto the hardwood floor beneath him. Then he stopped and put his hand on my abdomen, his fingertips lightly outlining my muscles as they tensed and quivered. Tearing my gaze from him, I looked at Jane and saw her gasping for breath as she stared at her husband's fingers pumping in and out of me. After his hand explored my abs, his fingers were on the buckle of the pants, undoing it deftly before pulling them down as best as he could with one hand. As soon as they were over my ass, my cock was back in the warm embrace of his mouth and he began sucking me, his lips gliding over me.

Uselessly clutching at his short hair, I wanted nothing else than to hold his head still and fuck his mouth. The sensation stirred low in my body, my balls tightened and I felt the warmth spread. My orgasm didn't hit hard and fast, it had been a slow build, but one well worth it as I came in his mouth, grunting when my cock erupted cum down his throat. After prolonging my orgasm by brushing his fingers against my prostate, he finally pulled them from my hole and stood up.

Wrapping his hand around my neck, he pulled me to him, his mouth on mine, his tongue once again entering my mouth, only this time it was to let me taste myself. His erection rubbed against my overly sensitive cock and I moaned. Beside us, Jane watched, occasionally releasing a pitiful whimper. Pulling away from my lips, Alec turned to his wife, his hand stroking his cock.

"Ready for me?" he asked. Eagerly she nodded and he turned back to me. "Show yourself out, there's money on the table by the door."

And with that, he turned back to her, positioning himself between her legs, teasing her sex with the head of his cock. Just as I pulled up my pants and snapped the panel back into place, I saw him slide into her in one long thrust. She screamed in relief and he began to pound into her.

"So wet, baby, you wet from watching that whore come?"

I didn't stay to hear her answer.

At the front door, I put on my shoes and grabbed my jacket, not even putting it on before taking the money off the table and walking out of their American dream house.

"**~~**"

The rest of the week passed much the same way. I had two appointments almost every night and still no word from Edward. My fear of him knowing about my hooking turned into anger at him not at least having the decency to say something. He was supposedly some important business man and yet he couldn't handle telling me to fuck off.

Perhaps he had found someone else, someone that wasn't a whore.

Or he had found another whore.

I even debated calling Tanya to see if he had contacted her to reserve another escort. Maybe he had grown sick of my unwillingness to open up and share my past. But fuck, if he had been scared off because I had been a hooker, he would have dropped dead if he knew what happened to me before I had hit the streets to sell myself. There was a reason for not telling him where I had come and what I had been through.

Friday came and I spent the day moping around my place, ordering Chinese food for lunch and doing nothing but sitting on my couch and staring into the empty apartment. Late afternoon, I began my routine, taking a shower, thoroughly washing everywhere, shaving, moisturizing, brushing and flossing, and finally getting dressed in a dress shirt and slacks before grabbing my bag and heading down to meet Aro.

When we pulled up to the client's house, Aro opened my door and I got out.

"Sir, you alright?" he asked as I passed him.

"I'm fine," I shot back as I made my way to the front door.

Two hours later, I walked out, my cock spent, but my mind reeling. I might have gotten off as the woman rode me, but my mind had not been on how tight her pussy was or how plump her breasts were, it had been on _him_. After Aro dropped me off, I took another shower and then lay down on my bed. As sick and perverse as it was, I was overwhelmed with the need to know.

I had to know.

Bolting up, I grabbed jeans and a tee shirt and ran out my apartment, hailing a cab and giving the driver the hotel address. My heart raced as I entered the lobby of the Renaissance, using all of my willpower to not run through it. The elevator ride up to the suites was shorter than ever and when the doors opened, I almost didn't move.

I had to know, I reminded myself and took a fateful step into the hallway.

Slowly, like a man on his way to be executed, I walked toward suite five. When I raised my hand to knock, a thousand questions rushed through my mind; what if he wasn't there, what if he didn't want to see me, what if he wasn't alone?

The last question caused a clenching in my chest and I exhaled before rapping twice on the door. I heard muffled noises from the other side and the door swung open.

Fuck, he looked beautiful.

He was dressed, barely, in pajama bottoms and a gray tee shirt. Copper hair stuck up everywhere and I knew from my time with him that he had been running his hands through it constantly. His eyes widened behind the glasses he was wearing.

"What the…" he trailed off, then grabbed my wrist and yanked me in through the doorway. Before he closed it, he stuck his head outside and looked down the hallway. As soon as the door was closed, he locked it and turned to me, tilting his head. "Jasper, what are you doing here?"

"Gee, thanks for the messages letting me know you were fucking in town," I snapped at him, my hands balled at my sides as I resisted the urge to take him into my arms. "What the fuck, Edward? Don't have the courage to tell me to fuck off? That you don't want to see me anymore?"

His brows furrowed and for a second he looked confused, and then shook his head. "No, no, it's not like that, lov-Jasper."

"Then I ask again. What. The. Fuck….Edward?" I spat each word at him, adding his name for emphasis. His shoulders slumped and he hung his head, looking completely and utterly defeated. It was not how I was used to seeing Edward.

"I can't…." he began but sighed and stopped.

"Can't what? Talk to me, Edward," I demanded, taking a step toward him.

What he did next surprised the fuck out of me. Closing the short distance between us, he came to me and placed his forehead on my chest, his hands went my sides, fisting my tee shirt to make sure I didn't move away. Even through the expensive cotton, I could feel his warm breath and my nipples pebbled. His nearness eased the pull that had turned into an ache, and my racing heart calmed more each second he was holding me. Returning his hold, I put my hands on his shoulders, my thumbs stroking the skin below his ears, and kissed his hair, the silky wisps tickling my nose.

"Edward," I started, "talk to me." He shook his head against me and I felt his body begin to tremble. "Baby, please, what's wrong?" Releasing my tee shirt, he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head into my chest while my hands went to his back, moving soothingly up and down.

"Hold me," he begged in a desperate whisper.

We stood like that for an undetermined amount of time. As Edward clung to me, I glanced around the hotel, trying to figure out what the fuck had happened. Everything looked normal, the piano was in the corner, a laptop sat opened on the desk - I assumed he had been working when I knocked - and soft, classical music filtered through the rooms. Listening closely, I didn't hear anyone there with him, and I sighed in relief. The longer I held him close, the more his body calmed, and the trembling eased into an occasional shudder.

Finally, he pulled away, looking up at me with tired, red eyes, he took my hand and led me to the couch where he pulled me down next to him. Turning to face me, he took my hand and held it between both of his, his fingers moving over mine, as if he was reassuring himself I was real, that I was there.

"Something happened," he said quietly, refusing to look at me.

When he didn't continue, I asked, "In Chicago?" He nodded slightly and then gripped my hand tighter. "Did someone out you or something?"

That drew a chuckle from him, but it was not one of laughter, rather irony. "Or something," he repeated.

Placing my fingers under his chin, I forced his jade eyes to mine, reminding myself, even as the words got stuck in my throat, that I needed to know. "Is there someone else?"

He thought about my words a bit too long for comfort before weakly shaking his head. "No, not like that…but I can't see you anymore."

My brain took time to catch up, to register what he had said. There wasn't another man but he didn't want to be with me anymore either.

"Was it somethi-"

"No!" he interrupted angrily. "Don't even think that, it's not you, it's me," he snorted at his clichéd words. "You're…you're perfect."

"Apparently not perfect enough to keep you interested," I retorted, my defenses going up to protect what was left of my heart. I attempted to pull my hand from his grasp but he held it firm.

"Don't go, please," he asked, looking down again. "Now that you're here, please don't go yet."

I yanked my hand from his grip. "Thanks, but no thanks. You just said you don't want to see me anymore but what? You want a goodbye fuck free of charge? I don't think so," I said as I went to stand. Immediately, his hand was on my wrist, his nails digging into the flesh.

"There is someone else, but it's not what you think," he blurted out and for some fucking unknown reason, I let him pull me back down next to him, only I kept my hands in my own lap. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his chin and began. "His name is Spencer. He's the son of one of the board of directors for my father's company. I've known him a few years, seen him around at benefits and shit, but never paid much attention to him until he started flirting with me a few months ago. It was innocent at first, mostly just locking eyes across the room type stuff, but then one night he approached me in a bathroom at one of the events. He introduced himself, we talked about his college. He's very smart, smarter than me, but he apparently doesn't think he can make it our field on intelligence alone because…" he trailed off, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger, his glasses riding up a bit when he did it.

"What do you mean?" I asked, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees.

"He wants to work with me, under me, like an associate of sorts, learn the ropes and then show his father up by moving up the ladder faster than his father did."

Shrugging, I shook my head. "Okay, I don't see the problem, other than a daddy complex and who doesn't have that?"

"I brought the pictures to work," he eyed me, waiting for my reaction. "You know, _the _pictures, and I put them in the top drawer of my desk when someone walked in on me. I left right after and forgot they were there…until I got back to my office later that day and found Spencer in there, with the pictures in his hand," he rushed out at the end as if I would be upset with him.

I didn't give a shit if some random guy had seen my picture. I let random guys fuck me, a picture was no big deal.

But to a closeted man, they would be a big deal.

Not only were they pictures of Edward and another man, but they were pictures of Edward with an escort.

"Oh," I said simply.

"More like 'oh fuck'. Long story short, he told me he that unless I hired him to be my assistant, he would out me, making sure that everyone saw those pictures, my father included."

"He's blackmailing you?"

Nodding, Edward looked down and ran a hand through his hair. "Yep."

"What did you do?"

"What could I do? I gave him what he wanted."

"A job?" Well, that didn't sound so bad.

"Yes, I talked to my father and did what was necessary, but there's more," he said in an exhausted voice. "Not only did he want a job but he's clearly interested in me as more than a business associate," he paused and raised an eyebrow to be sure I understood him correctly. "And he wants to be included on this merger, here…in Seattle," he finished.

"He's here? Right now?" I asked in a strained tone.

"Suite seven," he whispered, nodding.

Fuck, he was only a few doors down.

There was no containing the rage that flooded me then, and I jumped up, my hands already fisting. He finally caught me at the door, his hands on my shoulders urgently tugging me backwards.

"No, no, Jasper, don't, please," he begged. Shaking him off, I slid the lock opened and put my hand on the knob. "Please, it'll ruin me, please," his voice choked up and I stopped.

Banging my forehead against the door, I muttered under my breath, "There's no place like home, there's no place like home." Once calmed, I turned to Edward and saw the relief in his face. "I'm only not going because of you, because it would hurt you more if I went, but Edward, if I ever see that bastard touch you, he's dead."

"I get you're pissed, trust me, I am too, but I need to handle this differently. I want to get him where it hurts, his ego and his job. Besides, I can't have you getting arrested, your profession being made public…" he stopped, letting me fill in the blanks on my own. I nodded and let him led me back to the couch. I sat down and he straddled my lap, just like the day I had come to say goodbye to him a few weeks earlier.

Only the mood was considerably different.

With his hands on my shoulders, he put his forehead to mine and sighed heavily, his sweet breath was tainted with bourbon.

"I'm so sorry I didn't let you know, but I'm paranoid about everything now, sending email, phone calls and text messages. Afraid to send them, like I'm being watched or something. Which, in a way I am. I didn't know what to do and," he took a deep breath. "I missed you so much."

I cupped his face in my hands and pulled him away from me so I could look him in his eyes. "I missed you too. I hated not hearing from you, I thought I'd done something wrong or that you had found someone else."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, nuzzling his cheek against my palm, "but my career has to come first, I had to protect it. I couldn't take the risk."

"I understand why you did it, but what now, Edward? Do you still want to see me?" I asked even though I feared the answer.

He quickly put me out of my misery.

"Yes, oh my God, yes," he replied breathlessly. "But I don't think I can. I mean, I'm not sure I can have you come here. Obviously he knows I've got someone out here but he has no idea it's an escort."

Nodding, I sighed and laid my head back against the couch, my hands falling from his face to his shoulders again. Never had I expected to care about someone, or ever have them feel the same way about me, but I had no doubt I cared about Edward beyond the physical shit - what happened to him, how he felt, what he thought. I needed him in a way that I had never needed or wanted anyone before. If the previous two weeks had been any indication, I would slowly go insane if he weren't in my life. Never had I been so on edge or jittery, bouncing between emotions I had never felt, just fucking uncomfortable but all those horrible feelings had eased the second I saw him and had completely ceased the minute he was in my arms again.

I didn't know what we were going to do, but I knew I couldn't live like that –without focus or even fucking meaning.

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes again and found him staring at me, his eyes full of sadness. The answer to our problem was right in front of me.

"My place."

"What?" he asked, confused.

"We can meet at my place. I mean, it's not as nice as here and it won't be easy but it would be a safe place away from him."

"But…your work?"

"That's going to be a problem. If you can't go through the Service and reserve me, there is no guarantee I will be off the nights you're here, and if he asks, you will have to make something up when you leave here, but it might work for awhile."

The sadness emptied from his eyes and was replaced by a hope, his eyes became bright and shiny even in their exhaustion.

"Are you sure?" he asked, biting his bottom lip.

My heart skipped a beat, warning me of what I was doing. I was moving this…us…and whatever the fuck we were, to the next level, a more personal level. For only the second time in my life, I was going to have a relationship that didn't involve the exchanging of money.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned forward and kissed him, gently and softly. I felt his fingers in my hair, twirling the waves around them as he moved his lips against mine.

"Yes," I whispered. He began to shake, his entire body shivering under my hands. "Edward, you okay?"

"I just…I… I thought I wouldn't see you again and…now…this," he attempted to explain in broken words.

"It's far from perfect, Edward," I sighed, resigned to having to sneak around.

"No, but it'll work," he promised.

"I hope so," I replied wistfully.

Because we were both taking a huge fucking risk.

Not only did Edward have to worry about sneaking out of the hotel but there was another that concerned me… a fucking lot.

Leaning forward, Edward laid his head on my shoulder and placed a kiss on the pulse in my neck as he squeezed his arms around me. Tilting my head, I rested it against his and pulled him tighter to me and then we just held each other, silent except for our breathing.

When my hand traveled under the hem of his tee shirt, I felt him tremble, and I swear he fucking purred when my fingers grazed the skin above the waistband of his pants. Even with all the shit going on, there, in my arms, he was content, and I realized that it didn't matter where we were, a fancy hotel, backseat of a car, or my apartment, there was really only one thing that mattered and that was that we were somehow together.

Fuck, I was beginning to sound like a fucking girl.

And I didn't give a shit.

Snuggling as close as fucking possible, Edward placed another kiss on my neck, then another, and another and it wasn't long after the fourth one that I tilted my head back for him and felt his cock begin to lengthen under his thin pants. I dared to let my hands slide under the elastic, groaning when I realized he had nothing on under them and felt the flesh of his ass.

"Jesus," I moaned when his tongue traced my jaw as he worked his way to the spot below my ear that he knew always drove me insane. Gripping his ass, I forced him toward me at the same time I thrust my hips up.

I wanted him, I _needed_ him.

Suddenly, he released my neck and sat up. "As much as I want to," he began breathlessly, "and oh my God, do I want to, we can't…not here, not now," he said quietly, like someone but me might hear him. Letting go of my hold on his ass, I nodded and leaned forward to take his pouty bottom lip between my own. When he shifted his weight, I groaned and pushed him back to relieve the pressure in my pants.

"Jasper, you okay?"

"I want you, baby," I told him with a small smile and I reached up, brushing his hair off his forehead before running my fingers through it. "Fucking amazing," I said, although I had no idea what I was referring to. I think it was everything, his hair, body, cock, ass, mind…just everything that was him.

"You too," he whispered, leaning his head into my fingers as they threaded through his hair.

"I should go before I can't anymore," I chuckled, knowing the more I touched him, the harder it would be to leave.

Neither of us moved.

"Hey, Jasper?"

"Mmm?"

"Where do you live?"

Chucking, I pulled him into a kiss. "Got a pen?" Nodding, he climbed off me and went to the desk for a piece of paper and pen. When he returned I wrote down my address for him, then pulled him back down onto my lap.

"I can't see you tomorrow night, I've got a work party to go to," he said in between our kisses.

"Okay."

Sadly, he sighed and pulled away. "How can I reach you?"

Thinking, I looked toward the desk. "Blackberry?"

"Yeah," he replied and went to get it. I pulled my own out and when he returned showed him the software that was on mine to protect the files and folders, and the software that wipes it clean if it gets lost…or stolen. "So if I get it, no one can see what these say?"

"Not unless they have the password to sign in with."

"Once I get it, I will text you," he said, almost excitedly.

"Did you get your pictures back?" I asked him, my fingers running up and down his arm, enjoying the goose bumps my touch left behind on his skin. He sighed sadly and shook his head. "Gonna fucking kill him," I muttered under my breath.

"He said he'd give them back, but…" he stopped, letting me assume the worst. After a few more kisses, he crawled off me and held his hand out for me. "It's time."

I let him pull me up and lead me to the door, where he was in my arms again, his face buried in my neck, his hands in my hair, clinging to me.

"Going to be a fucking long few weeks," I mumbled into his hair as I crushed him to me. He nodded against me and then slowly released me. Before he pulled away completely, I kissed his forehead. "Bye, baby."

"Bye…" he hesitated as his eyes scanned mine, "Jasper."

I opened the door and checked the hallway before walking with my head down as fast as I could to the elevators. In the lobby, my phone vibrated and I pulled it out, thinking Edward had been pretty damn quick in getting the software, but it was a message from Tanya, scheduling an appointment.

_Peter Carlson, Saturday night. Formal event/dinner, wear tux. Pick up at 8pm._

My heart raced, not only at the thought of seeing Peter again, but at the word 'formal'. I was the furthest from fucking formal as someone could get.

I was going to need help, and fast.

"**~~**"

Even though I had been expecting him, I jumped when I heard the knock on my door. I put the laptop on the table and went to answer it. When I opened the door, I was surprised at his appearance; I had grown so accustomed to seeing him in a suit and tie that seeing him in casual clothes shocked me. He had on jeans and a button down shirt covered by a gray tweed jacket. In his arms was a large box.

"Thanks for coming, I didn't know who else to ask," I said as I opened the door wide and let him inside my apartment.

It's not like I could turn to anyone else, Riley certainly didn't know the difference between a salad and dinner fork, much less caviar and escargot. I couldn't ask Peter, after all it was because of him I had been spent half the night online searching for formal dinner etiquette, only to get more and more confused-one site said one thing, another said something else. The only other one I felt comfortable enough to ask was temporarily off limits…so that left me one choice.

"No problem, sir, anything I can do to help," he said as put the box down and slipped off his tweed jacket, hanging it on the rack by the door.

"Aro," I began as I closed the door. "We're not on the clock, call me Jasper please."

"Of course, si-Jasper," he corrected himself in midsentence. I led him into my kitchen where I had attempted to put together a formal dinner setting, dishes and silverware were scattered all over my counter and table. He placed his box on the counter and began to dig through it.

"I made a mess," I sighed, slumping into a chair. "I don't know what's what."

Aro shuffled around behind me as I rubbed my face with my hands wondering just how badly I was going to embarrass Peter at the party and if I'd ever see him again after that night.

"We'll clean it up later, tell me what you know about tonight's event?" he asked as I heard him clanking dishes together.

"Not much really, it's at the Pravda, very formal sit down dinner. I need to wear a tux-"

"Do you have one?"

"Yes, Tanya had me get one right after I was hired. I've tried it on, practiced with the bowtie and everything. It's this," I motioned to the pile of plates in front of me, "that I don't understand. At all."

He came up to the table and cleared the dishes in front of me, replacing them with another plate, about twelve glasses and so many forks I lost count.

"Do you know the menu?" he asked as his thin fingers placed an intricately folded napkin over the large plate in front of me. Silently, I pushed a piece of paper in front of him with the menu scribbled on it.

"Took me awhile but I got it off their website." I shrugged when he raised an eyebrow at me. "I can't even pronounce half that shit, Aro," I sighed, defeated. He patted me on the shoulder as he picked up the paper and read it over.

"Six course dinner, very nice. Oh, I love Vichyssoise soup," he sighed and put the paper back down. "Been years since I've had it though." He moved behind me and leaned over my shoulder. "Si-Jasper, there will be six courses of the dinner-"

"Courses?"

"Yes, like parts of a meal. You will be served one item, then after some time, the next, on and on. For this dinner, six parts total. Each one is served with the following in mind, so that not only their flavors complement each other, but their colors do as well."

"Colors?"

He nodded and continued, "I know it sounds odd, but there are certain foods that shouldn't be eaten together. Color is important, but more important is the taste, you don't want two strong things together, they must…blend well."

"Oh," I answered numbly, having absolutely no idea what the fuck he was talking about. He decided to take a different approach.

"Ever have something salty, like a pretzel and then right after it you crave something sweet?"

"I think so?" I asked more than answered.

"Well, it's like that, for some reason those things complement each other like beer and pizza or cookies and milk."

"Beer and pizza, that I understand," I smiled up at him.

"Okay, let's begin," he said glancing down at the menu one last time. "This large plate here is called the charger plate, it will stay throughout the meal, and the servers will put your course plates on it. You're going to take the napkin off and put it over your lap," he said as he leaned over and put the napkin in my lap. "The first course is usually a shellfish, in this case with portabella mushrooms, for that you will use this fork," he explained, picking up the fork on the outside. "Then, you will have salad, so use this fork for that, then the soup course-use this spoon," he continued through the menu, showing me which piece of silverware went with which menu item.

"And what's that for?" I pointed to the small plate to the left.

"That's your bread plate and butter knife."

Sighing, I leaned back my chair. "I'm so confused and we haven't even gotten to all those fucking glasses," I said exasperated, then realized what I had said and apologized "Sorry."

He chuckled. "It's okay, it's not easy, but you'll get it. Here," he said, sitting down beside me. "Remember to work your way from the outside in, each course, different silverware. The charger plate stays until your main course is served, then they will take it away."

Nodding, I listened and tried to absorb what he was telling me. "And the glasses?"

"Those are a water goblet, champagne flute, and wine glass." He pointed to each one as he said their names. "The water goblet will be filled the entire time, the champagne flute will be for a toast and the wine glass, well… it's for wine."

"No bottled beer, huh?" I asked with a raised brow.

"Afraid not," he laughed.

Something occurred to me. "I'm not legal, will they want my ID?"

Shaking his head, he straightened out the silverware. "I highly doubt it, you will be Mr. Carlson's guest, they will not question him, trust me."

"Do you know Peter?" He smiled at my casual use of Peter's name.

Again he shook his head. "Certainly not as up close and personal as you do, but I know of him. He is very powerful and quite influential. Nice to have someone like him on our side."

"Our side?" I questioned.

"For the gays," he clarified. "Mr. Carlson is very out, makes no apologies for being gay, and yet he has still become hugely successful and gained the respect of a lot of the community. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't wear his rainbow pin to business meetings, but he has no problem being with a man in public. Which is why I suspect you are attending this event with him. Dates were probably suggested, they like to mask these business meetings as benefits and they think that if the wives and girlfriends attend, that makes it more social than business. For Mr. Carlson, you are probably the closest thing he has to a steady boyfriend."

"How do you know so much about him?"

He winked at me, giving me a youthful, mischievous smile. "I listen very well."

"How bad am I going to fu-sorry-screw up tonight?"

He ruffled my hair and shook his head. "You will be fine, sir. How about a quiz?" He didn't wait for my answer, instead he began to rapidly fire questions at me about the courses, which fork, which knife and which glass. Then he went over basic table etiquette, keeping my elbows off the table, standing when a woman arrived or left, not being the first to eat, and a bunch of other useless shit I would never need to use again. I thought about teaching him how to dig through a dumpster, how to tell when certain foods had gone bad and would make you sick and how to protect your food when you ate so no one tried to take it from you. After, he helped me put my dishes away in my cupboards.

As he handed me the plates, he spoke up. "I noticed you didn't have an appointment with Mr. Cullen this week," he said quietly. Keeping my eyes in front of me, I remained silent. "It was the week he was due back in town, yes?" I nodded and put the next plate away. "You two seem close," he observed and I shrugged casually but my heart raced in my chest. "Be careful, sir, getting close to someone in your position could make your life difficult."

Sighing, I glanced at him. "Maybe for some but not for me."

Handing me the next plate, he tilted his head. "How so, sir?"

"Jasper," I reminded him.

"How so, Jasper?" he smiled as he put the glasses away.

"I'm different, Aro," I replied as I closed one cupboard and opened another.

"You're a man, sir, a very attractive one, with a heart and brain just as susceptible to love as anyone else."

Sharply, I turned my head toward him. "It's not love," I snapped more than I had intended. He looked away, but not before I saw the hint of a smirk on his face.

"Of course it's not, sir."

We worked in silence for a few minutes before I felt comfortable enough to continue. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How did you get to become a driver for an escort service?"

"It's a rather long story."

"I've got time."

He went to the table and sat down while I got two beers from the fridge and handed him one. "Well, back in the day, I was an escort much like yourself. It was the late seventies, and things were…freer. The sexual revolution was still going on, there were disco clubs and being gay was 'in', as was drugs, especially cocaine. Safe sex…well, it wasn't very safe. Barebacking was acceptable, condoms were few and far between. You met a hot guy at the club, you could take him into these private rooms and, well, get intimate. Some would do this several times a night, and rarely with protection. Some of the boys were high, others just wanted to…get fucked, excuse my language."

He paused to take a drink. "I was young, not even out of high school, and a go-go dancer at a huge gay club in New York City." He chuckled. "I know it's hard to imagine but I was highly desired; men were constantly putting money in my G-string, and trying to get me into one of those backrooms. However, I met a boy there. My God he was beautiful. Tall, long, blond hair, thin, beautiful ruby lips and the darkest blue eyes I'd ever seen. Caius and I fell in love, and he convinced me to leave the club to get a more respectable job. I did, and for awhile it was okay, but then I noticed he wasn't right. He was sneaking around, lying to me." Aro hung his head a bit, the memories of days gone by flooding him quickly.

"At first, I thought he had met someone else, and I guess in a way he had. Only it wasn't a man, he had become addicted to heroin, it was easy to get, you couldn't walk down the street without being approached by a dealer and back then, it was pretty cheap. At least in New York. I confronted him and he finally admitted he had a problem. We moved from New York to Seattle in hopes of getting him away from the temptations of the drugs. In Seattle, he cleaned up, for the most part, he still had times when he would go out and score some drugs, but he got cleaner." Sighing, he took another sip and then closed his eyes.

"Then one day he was sick, really sick, and I took him to the hospital. They found out he was gay and ran an AIDS test on him. It came back positive. All those times he had been generous and shared his drugs caught up with him. We didn't know anything about AIDS back then, it was new and unknown and scary. He began what treatment they had, but he just got sicker. He had to quit work and we were running out of money. His medications were expensive and the hospital bills would outrageous. So, I looked for a part time job and found another dancing gig. The owner of the Service, before Tanya, saw me, and hired me on the spot. Thus began my escort career. I only did it part time so I could care for Caius. His health went downhill so fast, it scared me. I never told him I was an escort; it would have broken his heart. He thought I was waiting tables. Then, about eighteen months after he was diagnosed, he died." He took a few deep breaths. "It happened late at night, I held his hand, told him it I loved him and was okay to go. He smiled at me one last time before the life just disappeared from his eyes."

"That fucking sucks."

"Thanks," he chuckled, looking up at me with teary eyes. "After he died, I had the courage to go and get tested. I was lucky and came back negative. Caius never liked me using a condom, but I refused to have sex without one, and I topped so…." He winked at me knowingly. "Anyway, I stayed clean after that, and once I got past the prime age of being a desired escort, instead of letting me go, they offered me this position and said they would pay me what I made as an escort. Granted, it's a little less fun, but I can live vicariously though you and the hours aren't bad."

"Am I the only one you drive?"

He nodded and finished off his beer. "Right now, yes, your busy schedule doesn't allow me to have another, but in the past, I've driven for two or three at a time." he smiled. "Most of the drivers are retired escorts, being around you boys keeps us young."

"Do you regret it?"

"Caius?"

"No, being an escort?"

Aro shrugged his thin shoulders while considering my words. "I did what I had to do. Do I wish we had had a different outcome? Sure, but I would have done anything for Caius, even if I had to lie to him to do it. I did what I had to do, and in the end, I think that's all any of us can do."

His words seemed wise and honest.

"Thanks for telling me."

"You're very welcome. But, si-I mean, Jasper, take my advice. Trust me, being an escort in love is a difficult situation at best. There is jealousy on his side, guilt on yours. And while that can make for some rather intense sex, it's hard on the heart and soul."

I stood and walked to the counter, pretending to busy myself. "It's not love, Aro, it's not like that at all."

"If you say so, just keep what I said in mind." Facing the counter, I nodded and then turned around when I heard him stand up. "Do you think you are all set for tonight or want to go over it again one more time?"

"One more time, please," I said, returning to the table.

We spent the next hour going over the small details in hopes that I wouldn't fuck up at the dinner. Aro even reviewed some news topics in case I needed to be included in a conversation, although we both agreed I was probably just there to look pretty, or handsome in my case, on Peter's arm.

After he had left, I began my routine to get ready, including a long shower and shaving. I had even gone to the salon early that morning for a manicure and pedicure. My nails were buffed and perfectly shaped, something I never thought a street hooker would have. When I put on the Ralph Lauren tux, I actually felt like I might belong at the party I was going to, but Peter and I would know that I definitely did not belong.

At five minutes before eight, I walked out my door, buttoning up my tuxedo jacket as I went. Aro was next to a black car, but it was not my usual car. Opening the door for me, he tipped his hat.

"You look very handsome, sir," he complimented.

"Thanks," I actually fucking blushed. "A limo?"

"This is a big event, they let me have the fancy car tonight," he answered, closing the door after I got inside. I settled in for the ride and pulled out my Blackberry, hoping for a message from Edward and tried not to feel disappointed when there were no new messages. Resting my head against the seat, I pushed all thoughts of Edward from my mind and focused on Peter.

In a tux.

My cock twitched at the image and began to harden when I let the image get more detailed.

"We're here," Aro said pulling up to the curb in front of a huge brick building. Limousines were lined up in front of us, driver's helping out girls in gowns, their dates then taking their arms and leading them up the steps covered in red carpeting.

I was fucking way out of my league.

When it was our turn, Aro slipped the car into park and looked into the review mirror. "Ready, sir?"

"I can't do this," I whispered, shaking my head as I watched the couples make their way up the steps. "I…I can't…."

"Jasper," Aro began, and I turned my head at the sound of my name. "You _can_ do this, and you will be fine, everything will go fine. Mr. Carlson wouldn't have invited you if he didn't think you could handle it."

Swallowing, I nodded. Aro got out and opened my door for me.

"What do I do?" I asked, motioning to the stairs.

"At the top of the stairs will be a person with a guest list. Give him your name, and then enter."

"Okay," I said in a shaky voice. He put a hand lightly on my arm.

"You belong here, Jasper, you are just as good as any of them, probably a lot better than most of them." He gave me one last smile as he shut my door. "I will pick you and Mr. Carlson up at midnight, sir."

"Thank you for everything, Aro," I said before turning and heading up the intimidating staircase. Slowly making my way up to the top, I stopped in the line where a person was checking off something on a list. I glanced around me, everywhere were people in tuxes and gowns, lots of jewelry and fancy hair. They were probably executives of companies, like Edward, and their wives…or mistresses, I chuckled to myself.

A few men tossed me a casual glance, the women's eyes lingered on me a lot longer, roaming up and down my body but always going back to my lips. I wasn't beyond flashing them a slight dimpled smile. As I neared the man with the list, my heart began to race, I had no idea what to tell him, my name, Peter's name...

"Name, sir?" a young guy in a white tuxedo asked me. My breath hitched in my throat and just as I went to speak, I felt a hand on my back and a presence by my side.

"He's with me," said the smooth voice.

"Welcome, Mr. Carlson, enjoy your evening," the guy said with a polite smile, not even looking at his paper. Peter nodded and led me up the remaining stairs and through the large doors. Once we had entered, he leaned over and placed a lingering kiss on my cheek. Expensive aftershave mixed with his own scent filled my lungs, and I relished it.

"Hello, Jasper," he greeted, and my heart skipped a beat when he whispered in my ear. "You look very handsome."

"Thank you, so do you," I replied, stepping back so I could see all of him for the first time. Bright aqua eyes lined with thick, black lashes return my admiration, his hair was a bit shorter than last time and slicked back. His strong jaw was clean shaven, and I shuddered with the thought of feeling his abrasive scruff in all kinds of intimate places – especially on the inside of my thighs - later that night. Dressed in an obviously custom tailored tuxedo, it hugged him in all the right places, showing off his wide shoulders and trim waist. He reached out and rubbed and hand up and down my upper arm.

"Don't be nervous," he smiled confidently. Once again, I looked around; I was out of my element, not only a fish out of water, but flopping around in the middle the fucking desert. On the streets, in the dark alleys, in the backseat of a car, those were all my comfort zones, but standing in the lobby of the Pravda with Peter surrounded by high class society that looked down at their own employees, much less someone like myself, was not something I was used to.

Leaning toward him, I whispered, "Peter, I don't belong here. I'm a hooker."

"Jasper," he scolded me for using that term.

"Fine, _escort_," I corrected myself.

"And a damn good one," he added with a wink. "Listen, Jasper, you do belong here, trust me. I wouldn't have invited you if I didn't think you could handle it," he echoed Aro's words from earlier. "I promise I won't leave your side. Let's enjoy ourselves, okay?"

Resigned, I nodded. Reaching down, he took my hand in his and led me toward the main room. It was absolutely fucking huge, floor to ceiling windows lined one entire wall and there was a shiny wood floor below us and sparkling chandeliers above us. Round tables were scattered throughout, but not so crowded that you couldn't walk around comfortably. Each table was covered with white linen, a floral centerpiece and at each place sat a formal setting.

Just before we walked in, Peter glanced at me. "Ready?" Nodding, I gripped his hand even tighter and let him lead me into the room, which suddenly felt a whole fucking lot like the lion's den. We had barely crossed the threshold and two men approached us. Peter dropped my hand to hold his own out to them.

"Brent, Will, good to see you both, how are you?" Peter greeted smoothly. They shook hands, and then smiled at me. Peter motioned to me, "This is my date for the night, Jasper."

"Only for the night?" Brent teased Peter.

"Well, he's only paid up until tomorrow morning," I said, joking to them. They both laughed and Peter smirked.

"Jasper, this is Will and his partner Brent. They've worked on a few gay rights fundraisers with me."

I shook their hands and smiled politely.

"He's a looker and a keeper, Peter," Brent said, and Will agreed before flitting off to another group. We made it four steps before we were approached by another couple. The woman eyed me while the Peter and the man talked. I returned her stare evenly, having seen the look on her face many times, I knew exactly what was going through her mind.

_Yes, ma'am, my tongue would work wonders on your pussy, and for the right price, it will. _

When she shook my hand, I brought it up to my lips and kissed it, telling her the color of dress was perfect for her young eyes. Blushing, she shooed me off but glanced at my ass as Peter and I made our way to our table.

There, Peter held out my chair for me and I sat down, staring at the place setting in front of me. Water was already in the goblet and champagne in the flute, and as I looked over the silverware, their names and uses popped into my head. Silently, I thanked Aro.

"You okay?" Peter asked, putting his hand on top of mine at the table. Nodding, I smiled at him when he squeezed my hand. He then introduced me to everyone there, all prominent businessmen and their wives. We sat with people from New York, Texas, California, Japan and England. I tried to catch their names, but missed a few. The first course was served, and I put my napkin on my lap, reviewing Aro's instructions in my head. My breaths were shallow as my heart raced, and I bit down on my lip when I went to reach for the fork, hoping it was the right one.

My heart slowed and my breaths deepened when I felt his hand on running along my thigh in soothing strokes. After closing my eyes for a second, I opened them to see Peter smiling at me, confident and happy, and my cock reacted accordingly. There was no doubt I was aroused by Peter, his touch affected me physically, inciting lust and desire to race throughout my body. But regardless of my body's willing reactions to his nearness, I felt the slight lacking, I felt the pull for another and oddly enough, it got stronger while sitting there.

While Peter talked mostly business with the men, the wives chatted with me, asking me if I was in business with Peter.

"You could say that," I replied with a smirk. The longer we were there, the more comfortable I began to feel.

The next course was served and I ate my salad in almost silence, answering when spoken too, but remaining quiet otherwise. The conversation turned more social than business, talking about vacations and children. Eventually, after several glasses of wine, everyone had loosened up, including myself. The main entrée had just been served and the waiter filled my wine glass for the third time. After I had taken a sip, the wine still beading on my lips, Peter's fingers were under my chin, turning my head toward him. I gasped when I felt his mouth on mine, his tongue tracing my lips, tasting the wine. He let his hand wrap around my neck and I felt it tighten at my nape, and I knew he was fighting the urge to deepen the kiss, to slide his tongue between my parted lips. My cock twitched and I really didn't care that we were sitting at a table with ten others, I moaned softly. Pulling away, Peter smiled at me before turning to everyone else.

"Can't wait to get him back to my place and see him out of that tux," he announced with a wink and everyone laughed. Blushing, my cheeks heated up and I bowed my head and stared at my food, shocked at how open Peter was.

He wasn't just out of the closet, he had blown it to bits and was standing in the fucking middle of the street for everyone to see, and he had absolutely no problem being there. He was not ashamed, just the opposite, he was proud of who he was, of not only his sexuality, but of what he had accomplished at a young age. Only knowing what Aro had told me, Peter had succeeded completely on his own accord, and gay or straight, had earned the respect of his peers.

Peter openly held my hand, kissed me, made sexual innuendos, and didn't apologize for any of it.

I had to admit, I liked it. I liked being there with him, I liked that I seemed to be able to hold my own, I like the way he was able to just be with me and not care what anyone else thought. The lifestyle was tempting; the night was a example of what a normal, regular everyday life could be like.

I'd had one day with Edward where we had been able to freely express ourselves in the safety bubble of Seattle, but now that had all changed. We had been delegated to sneaking around, hiding, and not being able to go out in public.

It was just like I was working the streets all over again. Sure, not the extreme of seedy dark alleys and cars with steamy windows, we would be slightly more comfortable than that, but it was the same thing.

He was ashamed to be with me, too afraid to disappoint his family.

Not that I could blame him. I wasn't exactly the type anyone would be proud to take home to mom and dad.

Sighing, I began to look around the room, watching other couples and their expressions of affection for each other; hands on shoulders when they laughed, loving glances when the other wasn't looking, men kissing their wife's cheeks when they returned to the table. As I scanned the room, my eyes suddenly caught a flash of familiar copper.

He was about six tables away, and sitting at an angle, but there was no doubt it was him.

_Edward_.

He was fucking beautiful in his black tuxedo over a crisp, white shirt with a black bowtie around his neck. Pink tainted his cheeks in his natural blush when his lips curled back over his teeth in as he laughed at something. Even from a distance, I could see his green eyes dancing with energy as he reveled in his element.

Unlike myself, Edward was right where he belonged, among the wealthy and powerful.

Intently, I watched Edward as he nodded and spoke to a brown-haired man sitting next to him. I could tell he was tall, lean, and in good shape. There was something familiar about him, something I couldn't place, but it was an uneasy feeling, and my instinct was never wrong.

_Dates were probably suggested._

The way the other man leaned toward my Edward a bit too much when he spoke, his head tilted toward Edward, his eyes trained on Edward's lips when Edward spoke to him.

The way he looked at him, the hunger in his dark brown eyes, was a look I knew well.

I had seen it in my own eyes many times, and I had felt it in every cell of my body.

It was Spencer, and he wanted Edward.

Gripping my fork in my hand, I used every bit of strength to resist getting up and going over to him and demanding he return the pictures, then I would take him outside and show him what I thought of his blackmail attempts, and of his unwanted advances toward Edward.

A thought hit me, perhaps the advances weren't unwanted. Edward hadn't exactly specified the night before, he had only said that Spencer was clearly interested in more than being a business associate, and Edward had never said he wasn't interested. It made sense, Edward's work in Seattle was going to end someday and with no more biweekly trips, he might turn to someone in Chicago.

Spencer was handsome, he had an affluent air about him that annoyed the fuck out of me, but then again, just about everyone in that room had that same confidence.

He was also well educated and rich.

Swallowing the taste of acid as it rose in my throat, I tried to will myself to look away from them but all I saw was Spencer in a bathroom stall kneeling before Edward as he sucked his cock, his head being held still by Edward's tight grip as he fucked Spencer's face.

I had heard of jealousy of before, something about green eyes, but it wasn't something I had ever experienced. There had never been anything for me to be jealous of, I had never been in a relationship, it's not like cared when Riley was fucked by other guys. I had never even envied what others had what I did not. It was simply an unfamiliar emotion that I had heard about, and never had I expected that a silly emotion would cause such an intense reaction.

While my mind raced with unpleasant images, my body hummed. My chest tightened uncontrollably, stealing my breath as if someone was crushing me. Rushing through my veins, my blood felt heated, almost painful, as it traveled throughout me, leaving no area untouched. I was sure my face was flushed as my entire body tightened with a rush.

Peter gave me a concerned glace. "You alright?" he asked me in a low voice.

"Yes," I whispered, nodding, not looking away from Edward even as my heart pounded in my chest.

It was as if he heard it, for that very second, his head turned and his darkened emerald eyes meet mine.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Riley. Owns. Me.

Js.

My profile has been updated with a few new one shots that were written for Dannie's birthday, "Better than Nothing", a Jake/Edward slash, and "Of Lovers and Whores", a BDSM/forced fem Domsper/subward. Speaking of, Dannie is hosting a BDSM contest, link is in her profile.

Also, a fun little piece of fluffy smut from Dannie and me featuring S&S Perfectward and Landslide Jasper called "When Fantasy Becomes Reality" is in my profile. Finally, I am working on a Jasper/Edward full length I've been dying to do. Researching it has been a bitch, so stick me on alert if you want to know when it goes up-hopefully very soon!

Dannie and I are excited to announce round two of The Slash Awards! Nominations start August 1st, so get ready to pick out your favorite slash kiss, ILY, Domsper, Inkward etc. Details are here http:/ theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com - Follow us on twitter theslashawards

I am going to try to keep up a biweekly update schedule for M&A, but I have other projects I want to work on, so there might be times where the gap is longer, but I will try my best to not let that happen.

We are closing in on 1k reviews (between Dannie and here), so…first outtake is right around the corner. What shall it be?


	14. The Client

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Here's Edward and his take on what's going on. Poor guy is so stressed!

Much love to Dannie for helping out so much with this chapter, the hot smut is courtesy of her. She saved my ass so I could get this done on time.

Big thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

It was one of those surreal moments where everything around you disappears, blurs and eventually stills until only you and the other person exist. In that moment that our eyes locked, it was only him and me for a few precious seconds. At first, my heart halted, excited at seeing him unexpectedly.

Dressed in an impeccably fitted black tuxedo, he looked beautiful. Honey waves cascaded around his face; blue eyes look tired and wary, but still deep and honest. As we stared at each other, I saw the corner of his lush lips pull up ever so slightly - he was pleased to see me as well. Suddenly, the relieved look in his eyes faded, his lips no longer containing a small smile, but instead a tight frown.

"…tastes great, doesn't it?" he asked me, his unwanted hand resting on my forearm.

Then all too quickly, other sounds gradually filtered through my haze and I realized Jasper and I were not alone.

Not even close.

Directly next to me sat Spencer.

_Spencer._

It had been a long few weeks in Chicago. After the night he had found the pictures in my office, I had gone home, only to lie awake in bed all night. My options were few, nil really. I could give him what he wanted, or I couldn't. But the price for not giving in was too costly, and I couldn't afford it.

_My family, my career. _

The longer I considered my choices, the more I realized I had none. I had to remain closeted, I could not, _would not_, shame my father like that, disgrace him in front of his colleagues and competition by announcing I was queer. The press would be all over the fact that Chicago's Most Eligible Bachelor was gay, and it would draw a lot of unwanted attention.

Regardless of the cliché, there was such thing as bad publicity. I've seen many companies stumble as the result of someone's personal embarrassment, an affair, drug use, being caught with a hooker. While some companies managed to recover after some time, others did not. Bad press weakened companies, boards of directors become focused on damage control and decisions are made based how best to handle the publicity, not run the company.

Not only would it endanger the fragile merger in Seattle, but future mergers would also be at risk. Few companies in our field would want to deal with an openly gay Head of Mergers. The progress the gay community had made with equal rights didn't always matter in the private sector. There were still stereotypes when you're dealing with companies that research and make money off HIV and AIDS. I had sat in on my fair share of meetings and heard the crude jokes; how gays were where the money was because they were too stupid or ignorant or horny to worry about fucking without a condom, spreading the virus, thus making them more money in their bonuses because of the amount of their medicines sold.

I loved my job. I might have gone into it unwillingly to please my father, but it was part of who I was, part of my heritage, and I was going to do everything I could to protect it, the company, and ensure my father's happiness.

Which was why I was sitting next to Spencer.

I had gone to my father's office the next day, requesting that Spencer be added to my team.

"Edward?" he had asked, learning forward to put his arms on his large oak desk. "Everything alright?"

Sitting in front of him with his accomplishments advertised on his walls, all ones he wanted me to achieve too, I gave him a wide smile.

"Of course, Dad. I know Spencer will be joining us in a few weeks anyway, and we've talked at a few benefits and while his father groomed him for marketing, that's not his passion, and after some consideration I think he's best suited for the cut throat mentality of mergers. "

My father sat back in his leather chair, his brows furrowed a bit as he thought about what I had said. I could tell from the way his lips pursed and his fingers tented that he wasn't completely opposed to the idea. Perhaps it would be easier than I thought.

It was time to use the skill I had perfected.

Lying.

"He's got a fantastic education, graduating with honors. Technically, he has more schooling than I do," I said, feeling sick at using the same reasons that Spencer had given me. "I think it would benefit us all for him to be in mergers, work under me a few months before we give him something small. We can use Seattle to get his feet wet."

His resolved weakened a bit more and I moved in for the kill.

"I could use him, Dad."

"I trust your judgment, you know that. Hell, I wouldn't have put you in charge of this if I didn't. So if you think he is better suited for mergers, then by all means, of course. I will have one of the attorneys draw up his offer contract and have it to you by the end of the day.

"Sounds great," I said, stifling a groan.

"As for Seattle, everything still going well?"

_It was._

"Perfect. We've got the party on Saturday night, so that will be a great place to network with the CEOs of Eli Marks and Geno Tech, which as you know are ripe for the taking."

That piqued his interest. "Oh?"

Nodding, I leaned in as if someone would overhear me. "Word has it that Bob let a huge deal fall through and they need to replace the money they had anticipated and already spent."

"Ouch," my father said sympathetically, but I could already see the wheels spinning in his head. It would give him something else to focus on for a while. "I'll give Sue a call, see what is going on, perhaps we can benefit from their mistake."

Didn't we always? It was how our business was built, capitalizing on the errors and dirty laundry of others.

"The party…that might be a good time to introduce Spencer as your assistant," he suggested, and I smirked at the term 'assistant'. Spencer would hate being known as the Assistant to the Head of Merger and Acquisitions.

I would have to be sure to introduce him as that as often as possible.

"Yes, it would. I will remind him to bring his tux," I almost smiled. Standing, he effectively ended the meeting, at least the business aspect of it, and walked around the desk. I stood up and walked to the door with him.

"Your mother wanted me to ask you to dinner for next weekend, Saturday I think."

"I should be able to make that."

He shifted his weight, his eyes looking everywhere but directly at me. He was a powerful man who ran a multibillion dollar company, nothing scared him, except for my mother. Something was definitely up.

"Dad?"

"Um, well, she kind of hinted that she thought it would be nice if you, broughtadate," he rushed at the end.

"A date?" I repeated.

Looking down, he nodded. "Date," he confirmed. "She suggested that Kate might be free."

Loudly, I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Dad," I whined, "can't you get me out of this? Tell her I'm too busy or something?"

Then he gave me that look, the one that all dads give their kids when they are being told to do something for their mother's benefit.

"Fine, I will see what I can do," I sighed. Could my week get any worse?

"I'm proud of you, Edward. Keep up the great work, you're an asset to this company and I know I made the right choice putting you in this position."

"Thanks, Dad."

I walked out of his office hoping I hadn't just made the mistake of a lifetime.

Later that night I was sitting in my dark office, only lit by the lights from the neighboring skyscrapers, when there was a knock on my door. Before I said anything, Spencer opened it and entered. Sauntering over, he sat in the chair in front of my desk.

"Is that it?" he asked, motioning to the folder sitting in front of me. Unable to contain his childlike excitement, a smile played at the corners of his mouth. I nodded and slid it across my desk to him. Picking it up, he opened it and flipped through the dozen or so pages before placing it back on my desk. I gave him a pen to use, but as he went to sign it, he hesitated.

"Should I have my lawyer look this over? Make sure you aren't trying to screw me…not that I'd mind of course."

"Sign it."

"You know, I almost feel bad about this," he said, glancing up at me with hard eyes.

I didn't want to hear it. The man had single handedly destroyed my chance with the best thing that had walked into my life.

"Just fucking sign the thing," I spat at him. Chuckling, he did as I said and then closed the folder and leaned back.

"I bet that temper is sexy in bed, huh? I can just imagine you all angry and demanding," he almost moaned.

"Get the fuck out of my office." I held his gaze evenly, my outward appearance the mask of calm and control I always wore while inside my heart raced in anger.

"Mmm, a temper. Hot, Edward, very hot." He stood up and straightened his jacket. Then he placed his palms on my desk and leaned toward me, his dark eyes sparkling in the dim light. "You'll change your mind. I could make you forget blondie. That offer for a spanking is still open." Standing up straight, he glanced down at the contract again. "I'd like a copy of that please."

Another knock on the door and Bella opened it. "I'm heading out, Edward," she said, warily glancing between me and Spencer, sensing the tension. I nodded and she slowly closed the door.

"Can you make sure my assistant is as fine as her?" he asked as he leered at her through the window.

"Get. The. Fuck. Out."

Holding his hands up in a mock surrender, he took a few steps back. Then with a wink, turned and left.

Alone again, I folded my arms on my desk and lay my head on them, my jaw clenching as I struggled to keep my emotions in check. Things were spiraling out of control, and for the first time in my life, I was afraid.

Someone at the table with me laughed, the shrill sound crashing through my memories.

Only seconds had passed but it had seemed so much longer.

Jasper's crystal clear eyes were still on mine. In those eyes I had seen that even as he reassured me that everything would be alright, he wasn't certain of it himself.

He had come to my hotel room the night before, angrily confronting me about why I hadn't contacted him. To be honest, I hadn't planned on contacting him again. I needed a nice clean break and I knew if I had seen him to tell him that, if I had seen those eyes and lips and felt him next to me, I would never be able to walk away.

I had been right.

And from the look in his beautiful blue eyes, I could tell he was just as committed.

His presence washed away my fears, and instead of me telling him I couldn't see him anymore, I confessed what had happened. Sitting on the couch wrapped in his embrace, I had felt safe, assured that being with him was worth the effort of whatever I had to do. When he had suggested meeting at his place instead of the hotel, my pulse jumped. It was something that had never occurred to me, not only were we moving beyond escort/client, but he was going to let me into his very carefully guarded life; one that I knew very little about.

I had thought Spencer would be the end of Jasper and I, yet he had unknowingly drawn us closer together, a united front against him.

The man next to Jasper leaned in, much too close, and said something in his ear. Whatever it was earned a blush on Jasper's cheeks, but he never broke his gaze with me. When the man's comment failed to garner Jasper's full attention, the man's eyes followed Jasper's and landed directly on me.

He was a client.

I was a reasonable man, I knew Jasper had sex with other men; I just hadn't expect to be subjected to witnessing it firsthand.

_The man's large hands undoing the buttons on Jasper's shirt, revealing his perfect skin underneath. _

My fingers clenched the silverware in my hands, my knuckles turning white, I wanted to look away, keep my eyes from the horrors of their show, but they remained trained on them both. The more I watched his 'client' the more disgusted and intrigued I became. The man was openly holding Jasper's hand on the table. Not only did he seem out, but he looked familiar.

_Jasper's lips wrapped around the man's cock, his blue eyes watching the man as his fingers weaved into Jasper's hair, guiding his head while fucking his mouth._

There was something incredibly familiar about him. In my mind, I went through my business associates, concentrating on Seattle ones. We were at the same party, we must be in the same field, or a related one.

Then I remembered.

It wasn't business that I recognized him from; it was the lounge at the Renaissance.

_The man hovered above Jasper as he entered him, a look of pure pleasure on Jasper's face as the cock slid into his ass. Wanting, Jasper pulled the man down for a kiss, whispering words as the man began to thrust into him. _

I had seen him the time I had been waiting for Jacob in the bar. After admiring Jasper, I had been tempted to approach him, but just as I had worked up the courage, a man had walked up behind him and kissed him on the neck.

The same man that was now holding Jasper's hand and my gaze.

The client's eyes, observant and knowing, narrowed at me, and then his fingers were on Jasper's chin, turning his head, forcing Jasper to tear his attention from me. He kept his eyes on me while he drew Jasper's lips to his in a brief but sensual kiss, staking his claim. There was no denying the rapt look he gave Jasper, or the flush on Jasper's cheeks, when their lips parted.

I don't know what shocked me more; the fact that he had unapologetically kissed another man in public or that man he had kissed was my Jasper.

Bile rose I my throat and I took a sip of my wine to wash it down, hoping it would also dull the sharp pain in my chest as well.

"So, Edward, how is your father? I haven't seen him since the college reunion last year," the CEO of Eli Marks asked me.

With great effort, I pulled my eyes from the grim scene a few tables over and without missing a beat, answered the question. "He's great. Working far too much in my mother's opinion, but doing wonderful."

"Good to hear, please tell them hello from me. I have a meeting in Chicago next month, maybe we can all get together for a round of golf?"

"Sounds great," I replied numbly.

"Will we ever get to meet the brilliant Mr. Cullen?" Daniel piped in. He was sitting directly across from me, his back to Jasper's table. Spencer on the other hand, would only have to turn to his left and he would be able to spot Jasper.

Swirling my wine, I kept my mask on as my chest tightened when I refused to look over at Jasper again. "Possibly. He will probably want to come out here when the merger's complete. My father never misses the chance to celebrate a successful merger."

That earned a round of laughs.

"I look forward to it," Daniel said, raising his glass in a slight toast. "Have you seen your friend Jasper this visit yet?" he asked innocently.

Beside me, Spencer raised a knowing eyebrow and mouthed 'Jasper' to himself. Anguish, jealousy and anger all rushed me, each fighting for priority.

"No, not this time, he's busy." _Fucking another client._ "With his wife and kids, the in-laws are visiting. "

It was scary, how easily I lied.

"Maybe next time he can sneak away and we can hit the strip clubs," he reminded me as he set his glass down and pushed his plate away. Next to me, Spencer choked on his food, making little attempt to hide his coughing. "You alright there, buddy?" Daniel asked, not having bothered to learn Spencer's name yet.

"Yes, thank you," Spencer replied, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "Not to crash the party or anything, but I'd love to attend those strip clubs with you all next time we're in town. I'm sure it would be quite," he glanced at me, "entertaining."

"Of course," Daniel replied unenthusiastically. "So how long have you been Edward's assistant?"

"Not long actually. I had to convince him I was worthy of his knowledge, but in the end, he'll realize what an asset I am."

I gave him a not-so-friendly glare. Spencer finished his meal and began looking around a bit more, occasionally joining in the conversations at our table. I was beyond nervous sitting there with two people that could possibly recognize Jasper, one whom I had just lied to and said Jasper was at home with his family.

Glancing across the room, I saw Jasper eyeing me a bit, his looks more fleeting than before. I had a plan and hoped he would see me and catch on. Putting my napkin on my plate, I stood and excused myself before weaving in and out of the tables toward the restroom. After entering, I went straight to a sink, turning on the cold water. Seconds later, the door swung open and I saw his reflection in the mirror.

Damn. I thought he had looked beautiful from across the room, but up close he was downright breathtaking.

And I could smell his cologne mixed with his own scent.

Turning off the water, I spun to face him while he looked under the stalls to be sure we were alone.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I whispered harshly.

"What do you think?" he snapped back. I remained quiet, he didn't answer my question and while I knew why he was there, I wanted to hear him say it. For some sick reason, I wanted to pour salt on the gaping wound. "I'm here with a client," he finally admitted.

"_Client_," I mocked, my lips curling. He didn't defend himself, but his constricting eyes told me that he was holding back. Closing my eyes for a second, I took a deep breath. "Listen, I didn't come in here to fight. I just wanted to let you know that-"

"Spencer and Daniel are here," he cut me off. "Yes, I know. I'm not blind."

"How'd you know it was him?"

"The way he looked at you," he responded, a bit of jealously seeping into his voice. His fists were balled at his sides, his long fingers clenching repeatedly. "Do you know how fucking hard it was to not get up and beat the shit out of that motherfucker?"

"Trust me, I know," I replied, imagining my own fists hitting the very perfect face of a certain _client_. "One of us needs to leave, and it can't be me."

"Why not?" He sounded indignant, but he took a step closer.

"Even if I left and got Spencer out of here, Daniel would still be here. I'm basically fucked."

He softened, and he took another step toward me until we were almost touching. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Then I felt a finger under my jacket just above the waistband of my pants.

"Kiss me," he whispered, a bit of desperation in his voice. I wanted to tell him no, remind him that we could be caught at any moment but when I looked into his eyes and saw the concern there, I couldn't refuse him. "Please, baby," he begged, brushing his lips over mine and I groaned, unable to resist him any longer. I wanted him to have one thing, one last thing from me before my taste was erased by someone else's.

Moaning softly, his fingers tangled in my hair when I pushed my tongue into his mouth, dominating the brief, but passionate, kiss. I didn't grab him the way I wanted to, afraid that if I held him I wouldn't want to let him go. When we parted, I bit back a devastated whimper at the loss; the reality of him really leaving me to fuck someone else hit me hard.

"I can get my client to leave but…" he paused, nuzzling my cheek with his nose and then his lips were at my ear, taking the lobe between them briefly. I shivered when the finger became a hand and moved to my side where it tightly fisted my white shirt. His breath was warm and moist before he spoke. "You won't like it."

Arching my back away from him, I looked at him. "How can you-"

"I have my ways," was all he said before releasing me completely. I then realized I had walked into the bathroom angry and upset and within a minute of being with him, I had calmed and conformed under his spell. Nodding, I straightened my jacket as he looked in the mirror under the guise of fixing his hair should someone walk in.

Quietly, he asked, "Do me a favor and don't watch, okay?"

"Don't watch?"

"Don't watch," he repeated and gave me a sad smile. When I looked at him more closely, I saw the guard that had appeared in his eyes. Similar to the mask that I wore, he had one of his own. As I went to speak, he turned and left, the door swinging closed in his wake. Running my hands through my hair, I waited a few more seconds before heading back to my table.

"Welcome back, Edward," George greeted as I pulled out my chair and sat back down next to Spencer. I gave them a wide, fake smile. "We were just boring the ladies with our talk of whether or not Cullen Pharmaceuticals will make the Forbes list this year."

"Of course we will. We've made it the past five years in a row, this year is no different," I said, almost defensively. Everyone agreed with me of course, and then began talking about the last company to crumble. No matter how hard I tried, my eyes would not remain focused on my table, but kept wandering six tables over.

My skin still heated from his touch.

_Don't watch._

Jasper leaned toward his client, his hand, the hand that had just been under my jacket fisting my shirt, on the man's lower back, as he spoke into the man's ear. Whatever he said got the client's attention, because his eyebrows immediately raised and he shot Jasper a glance.

_Nipples being pinched, fingers seeking heated places, damp hair sticking to sweaty skin._

Smirking, the client glanced around the table quickly before giving Jasper his attention. I saw movement behind the man and realized Jasper's hand was no longer visible, but was moving up and down the man's back under his jacket. Clenching my jaw, I felt my entire body tense when the man ran a finger down Jasper's face before tracing his perfect lips.

_Slickened cocks sliding against each other as hands grasped uselessly at the mattress for leverage. _

Gracing the man with a dimpled smile, Jasper lowered his head and looked up at the man through his eyelashes. The client's eyes closed, and from the look on his face, I knew Jasper had moved his hand from the man's back to his thigh, or worse. Opening his eyes, the man said something to Jasper and a blush crept over Jasper's cheeks, but he nodded.

Sick to my stomach, I began to sweat and wondered how fast I could make it to the bathroom.

_Thrusting into him, the man held Jasper's hips tightly, growling that he belonged to him. _

With the hand that wasn't stroking the man's cock, Jasper picked up his glass of wine and took a demure sip. After placing the glass down, his tongue came out and teasingly licked the wine off his lips. His client watched every move, his attention, and cock, completely ensnared in Jasper's web of seduction. The others sitting at his table were oblivious to Jasper's efforts, each involved in their own conversations. The client's head lolled back slightly, a smile crossing his lips.

My stomach churned as I watched his interactions with the client. Mere moments before, he had made me feel like the most worthy person to have ever been born, his touch reminding me that I was his. Yet, there he was, looking at that man like he was the only soul on the planet, like he was Jasper's entire reason for existing. It made all of my insecurities seem a lot less ridiculous. How the hell could I believe that what he and I had was real when he was looking at someone else almost the exact same way as he looked at me?

"_Fuck me," he begged wantonly, hips meeting each other over and over. _

I shook my head, wanting to empty it of the images that insisted on torturing me.

It was barely noticeable, but I saw the client's hips rock back and forth into Jasper's grip under the table. My own cock twitched at the thought of Jasper's hands even as my heart tightened while I watched Jasper at work.

I knew how good those hands felt, how sweet that breath was, how convincing he could be.

The man's hips stopped and he sat up straighter, giving Jasper a hard look. Jasper had failed. Instead of getting the client to leave, he was being told to stop. Sighing, I hung my head, defeated.

It was only a matter of time before I was discovered.

"Do you think we could go over a few things about the meeting on Monday later? I want to be sure I'm up to date on everything so far. Also, can we discuss my job title? I'm not fond of 'assistant'." Spencer asked me.

"Not tonight," I said, resigned, there was no fight left in me.

Keeping my head down, I looked up at Jasper one last time, wondering just when Spencer or Daniel would spot him. I saw the client stand, Jasper soon following, his hand resting causally on his client's hip. The man's hand went around Jasper's neck and he drew him closer, not to kiss him but to speak to him, Jasper nodded and smiled. Before pulling away, the client kissed Jasper's cheek.

They both spoke to the people at the table, shook a few hands and then turned. The client's hand was on Jasper's lower back, guiding him as they headed for the exit. Jasper's blue eyes glanced over at me quickly, and he frowned when he realized I had been watching.

Stunned, I shook my head. Just a few seconds ago, I thought all was lost but I had clearly underestimated Jasper's talent for persuasion.

I don't even remember the rest of the party, the chatter about a bunch of useless information and gossip that didn't affect me or the company. Nodding and smiling when appropriate, I fumbled my way through the rest of the night and left as soon as I was able to.

In the limousine, Spencer turned toward me, his hands resting on his thighs.

"You're very good at what you do, Edward. I just want to be as good as you," he said quietly.

"And you think blackmailing your way into the position is the way to go?" I sighed.

Looking out the window, he shrugged. "Perhaps not, but it got me here. I know I'm good enough, you know I'm good enough. Give me credit for being ballsy enough to go after what I want." He turned back to me and slid closer, his hand moving from his thigh to mine.

"Not going to happen," I said tersely but didn't move his hand.

"Why not?"

Picking up his hand, I put it back on his own leg. "Because I don't want you."

"Bullshit."

It was hard to deny I had flirted with him at a few events, even imagined a steamy bathroom rendezvous, but that was before I knew what an ass he was. Turning away, I looked out the window and found my mind wandering.

"_Yeah, right there, harder, harder," he cried out, his legs wrapped around the client's waist. _

At the hotel, I was on autopilot as I walked through the lobby to the elevators, Spencer following me like a devoted puppy. The doors opened and we both stepped off, walking toward our rooms, only instead of stopping at his, he kept walking with me.

"Doesn't it ever get exhausting?" he asked, his stride matching mine, his eyes looking straight ahead.

"What?"

"The lying."

_Yes._

"Good night, Spencer," I said as I slid my keycard in and opened my door. He was still staring at me, waiting for his answer, when I closed the door in his face.

For the first time in hours, I felt relief. Not huge weight off your shoulders relief, but enough so that my pulse slowed to a regular tempo. By some cruel, sick twist of fact, Jasper and I had ended up at the same party and yet we had managed to keep anyone from discovering our relationship.

I had to admit that it was mostly due to Jasper's skill. Had he not been able to get his client out of there, I was certain Spencer or Daniel would have recognized him. Toeing off my shoes by the door, I loosened my tie and headed straight for the bar for what would be the first of many shots of bourbon.

The thick, amber liquid flowed down my throat, burning just enough to feel it. After two shots, I grabbed the decanter and glass and brought them to the couch, setting them on the table before taking off my jacket and sitting down in the dark room. Resting my head against the back of the couch, I closed my eyes, savoring the numbness in my throat, wishing the alcohol would work quickly to dull the rest of me as well.

What was he doing to me?

My life had almost been turned upside down for the sake of an escort.

Gulping down another shot, I slammed the glass down on the table, my empty hands going to my hair to fist it.

This wasn't me. I wasn't the weak, unsure person, the one fumbling around trying to make sense of a hidden relationship that never should have happened to begin with. I was Edward Cullen; intelligent, powerful, rich, damn good at my job…and lonely.

I had been so lonely before Jasper. While I had never counted on anything other than sexual gratification when I had called the Service, I had gotten so much more. A beautiful blond boy had walked into my life and somehow between the fucking and moaning, he had burrowed inside me so deep I felt him even when I was two thousand miles away. No matter how long or hard I tried to resist the feelings I had growing for him, and that I knew he had for me, I always failed.

And Edward Cullen never failed.

Yet there I sat, alone again while he was out being fucked, or fucking. While another man's hands touched him, brought him pleasure, _owned_ him, I sat on a couch with a headache and a shot glass.

The more I tried to make sense of us, the more my head hurt. Had everything we had been a ruse? I had opened up to him, revealed things to him that no one else knew, but I knew very little about him, only what he had felt was necessary to keep my attention, to keep me coming back for more.

And I had fucking fell for it.

Pouring and downing another shot, I sighed and lay back on the couch. The silence around me was heavy, weighing down on me as my thoughts grew louder and more clouded by alcohol. When I closed my eyes, I saw him, confused eyes begging me for answers I couldn't provide. He was as confused as I was. I don't think he realized how pure and evident his turmoil was to me.

_Frantic hips thrust seeking the release that had been building after hours of tantalizing and teasing. "Need you," a husky voice declared as Jasper's eyes relayed the same need. _

How could he do it? How could he be that person with me, filling all my desires in every way and then go and do the same thing with another? I had avoided thinking about him with other clients since our first night. In my world, he was mine to be bought and purchased. Slowly, it had dawned on me that if I could purchase him, others could as well. I never did like sharing; I had never had to do it before. If Alice and I had wanted the same thing, duplicates were provided. I had led a spoiled childhood which had led to a spoiled adulthood, having the best of everything within arm's reach was something I was accustomed to.

Jasper was the best.

He was also flesh and blood and not something to be owned, but for the right price, he could be bought.

_Throaty murmurs escaped swollen lips as they met again and again in the candlelit room. "So good, baby," his voice whispered as the man plunged into him one last time, sheer ecstasy on his face as he came inside Jasper. _

"Fuck," I growled. Clenching my eyes shut, I pressed the heels of my palms against them, desperate to rid my mind of the images. It was useless; they flooded me, each one more detailed than the one before it. I could hear his voice, see the sweat glistening on his body, and feel his rapture as he was brought to the height of pleasure.

Downing another shot, I began to feel the effects of the liquor in my blood, my body calming against my will, my eyes drifting closed again, the lids heavy from the bourbon's influence. Finally, a fretful sleep claimed me, dragging me into the darkness.

"**~~**"

It wasn't the hazy morning sun that woke me up, the constant beeping of the alarm on my blackberry, or the throbbing of my head. It hadn't been any of those. I had been startled from my sleep by the image of Jasper lying next to me, naked and wrapped in my arms, telling me everything I wanted to hear, but as I leaned in for a kiss, he was gone. Completely vanished from my arms, only a ghostly shadow of his presence remained.

After climbing off the couch, I ordered a pot of strong black coffee and got into the shower, practically scrubbing my skin raw in an effort to rinse away the night before. I dried off and dressed in an oxford and jeans, having planned to do nothing but work in the hotel room for the day. Just as I walked out of the bedroom into the hall, room service knocked. I let him in and showed him where to put the cart, then handed him a few dollars. As the door closed, I poured myself a cup of coffee, hoping the caffeine would alleviate some of my hangover. The rim of the mug had barely touched my lips when there was another knock at my door. With a sigh, I set the mug down and glanced at my clock. It was only a bit after nine. I opened the door, readying to tell Spencer to fuck off, we could go over the files later.

It wasn't Spencer.

It was him, looking beautiful and wonderful and perfect. His hair was slightly darker, loose, damp ringlets gathered around his face, blue eyes churned with uncertainty. I wanted to take him into my arms, sooth our mutual pain. The throbbing pulse in his neck was exposed by the unbuttoned collar of his white shirt…

He was still in his tuxedo. He hadn't changed. He had been fucking all night.

"Well at least you took a shower this time," I lashed out."So tell me, was he a good fuck?"

His blue eyes narrowed to a cold stare and I saw the muscles in his jaw tense and release as he held his tongue. With a long, exaggerated sigh, he asked, "Can I come in?"

_Limbs entwined in the morning sun, erections stroked until they were unable to resist and Jasper straddled the client, easing his ass down onto the man's cock, his head falling back in pure pleasure. _

I went to slam the door, exactly as I had done to Spencer the night before, but Jasper reacted quicker, his hand snapping up to stop it. Glaring at me with eyes that begged me to listen, to understand, he seemed tower over me. Not backing down, I returned his stare and raised an eyebrow, challenging him to make a move.

He did.

Letting go of the door, he lowered his hand and let me slam it in his face.

Something in my chest clenched, tightening so impossibly strong that my breath caught in my throat, turning it into a weak, raspy sound.

Just a two nights before, I had been thrilled when he had shown up at my room, seeking me out, needing me, wanting me so badly that he suggested we meet at his place. He was willing to see me off the clock, on his own time, and share his home with me. I owed it to him to hear him out before I told him that even though I needed him, for more than just fucking, I couldn't do it, I couldn't be with him anymore.

Opening the door slowly, I saw him standing in the hall, calmly leaning against the wall opposite my room, warily glancing at Spencer's door. His head snapped to me when the door opened and I stood aside, silently inviting him inside.

"What?" I sighed, sounding more frustrated than defeated, as he brushed by me and turned to face me.

"What the fuck is your problem, Edward?" he asked, already defensive. He turned to me, his eyes hard.

"Why were you there last night?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. We hadn't moved past the hallway.

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head disbelievingly. "Because he paid me to be."

"Why are you here now?"

"Because I _want_ to be," he replied quietly. I watched him, his face softening as he stared at me, his mask lifting.

I couldn't help myself. "Is that the only reason?"

"Isn't that good enough? Or should there be another?" he snapped quickly.

Shrugging, I tilted my head to the side, sizing him up. "You could just want to make sure I remain a loyal client."

"I'm not just your dirty little secret, Edward," he snarled, his lips literally curling up over his teeth threateningly. At his sides, his fists clenched as he fought to maintain control.

"No, you're everyone else's too," I scoffed with an evil smirk. I didn't want to admit how dirty I could play.

When he took a step closer I could feel the heat and anger radiating off him, the pulse in his neck was rapid and strong. His scent careened through me quicker than the purest alcohol and was just as intoxicating. I tried not to breath. Fury laced with lust darkened his eyes to a deep sea blue-black. Taking another step, our chests were almost touching, a deep breath by either of us and they would be.

"Fuck you, Edward," he growled angrily, but I saw the flicker of something else in his eyes.

It was spiteful, I knew it. Regardless if the words were true or not, I wanted him to hurt the same way I had been hurt.

"I just might let Spencer do that."

Confusion colored his face for a brief moment before it was clouded by rage. Before I could even feel remorse or formulate an apology, he was pressing me hard against the wall and crushing his mouth to mine.

For the briefest of seconds, I thought about pushing him away, ignoring how wonderful he felt and telling him to leave, to go back to his fucking client. Just minutes before coming to me, he had been with another man, kissing him, touching him...making him come. Feeling his lips on mine, I couldn't help but wonder who else had felt them, had enjoyed their taste and texture. The visions I had struggled with the night before came back; Jasper writhing beneath him, screaming out his name, clawing at his back as he came - and I almost denied him.

Almost.

Then Jasper's tongue invaded my mouth and any thoughts of telling him no left, replaced with the need to claim, to show him that no matter whom or what he'd had the night before, I was better. I would make him forget everyone but me.

I pushed against his tongue with mine and tangled my fingers into his hair, biting at his lips and earning a growl when I thrust my hard cock into his. Ripping his mouth from mine, his eyes were fury and fire as he stripped off his suit jacket, blazing while he reached for the collar of my shirt. The buttons of my oxford scattered to the floor as he yanked the material apart, his lips mashing mine so forcefully our teeth clanked together. When I released his hair, my tattered shirt slid down my shoulders, fluttering to the floor as we rutted against the wall, my bare chest pressed against his clothed one, our grunts and groans swallowed by each other's mouths.

Then his hands were unbuttoning my pants, pushing them over my ass until they bunched around my knees. Urgently, I thrust my bare cock forward, the smooth material of his slacks rubbing me deliciously. When he pulled back, I focused my gaze, his eyes boring into mine, filled with a number of emotions; anger, possession, confusion, hurt… all the things that were coursing through me too.

He spun me around, pressing me into the wall forcefully, my entire body burned with the need to be claimed by him. I braced my hands and arched my back, my body craving and needing his touch even if my mind wanted to say no. I heard the rustling of clothes behind me, a shirt leaving his body, a zipper sliding down, all the while he was mumbling, a long stream of unintelligible words that I strained to make out. I was panting, my own breath fanning over my face as my forehead rested against the wall, simultaneously begging for more of his touch and trying to deny how much it affected me.

Suddenly, his naked body was pressing into me from behind, the heat of chest searing onto my back as he leaned in close, his wet breath tickling my ear as he spoke.

"Could he make you feel like this?"

His words caught me off guard. How could he be the one that needed the reassurance? Before I could really question his line of thinking, his hand wrapped around my cock and I whimpered when I felt his erection slip between my cheeks, wanting to feel him inside me so badly. With every harsh tug of his hand, the head my cock slid along the wall, slickening it with my leaking precum as he held my hips still with his free hand so he could rub against me. His weight was heavy on me in the most perfect way when he pushed me flush with the wall, gripping my hair tightly and pulling my head, his teeth latched onto the junction of my neck and shoulder, forcing a loud cry from me as the pleasure mixed with the pain.

"Could he make you scream?" he panted, his bare cock still teasing my ass. With his hand still in my hair, his other hand left my cock and I nearly growled, ready to tell him to keep going until I heard a wet sucking noise, immediately followed by two of his fingers shoving into me.

"God, fuck," I grunted, my fist slamming against the wall, shaking the expensive artwork hanging there. I arched my back trying to get his fingers deeper.

I couldn't distinguish what I was feeling anymore. I was a jumbled mess of anger, arousal, pain, pleasure…

All I knew was that I wanted more.

"Could he make you beg, Edward?" he demanded to know. His fingers stabbed at my prostate, a guttural moan ripping from my throat as the intense pleasure wracked my body, my toes curling into the thick carpet. Teeth pinched the skin that covered my shoulder blades, the nape of my neck, my earlobe, only to be soothed with his tongue lapping at me right after. I was almost to the brink when his fingers stilled and I bit my lip, determined not to do exactly what he wanted. But my body had a mind of its of own and before I could stop myself, I was wantonly riding his fingers, the wall providing the friction I needed for my cock. Even though I was willingly fucking myself, he remained still, waiting for me to say it.

Impatiently, I spoke through gritted teeth. "Just fuck me, damn it."

"Beg," he said, his voice raw and low.

"Fuck," I spat, pissed that I was about to give in so easily. "Please, Jasper, fuck me."

"Fuck, yes," he exclaimed, his fingers immediately leaving my body. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw him bend and rummage through his jacket, pulling a condom from the inside pocket. The fact that he had one in his jacket pocket made my stomach twist painfully, knowing why he had it there in the first place. I clenched my eyes shut, trying to stop the visions from coming back again. I moaned when I heard him spit into his hand and rub it down his cock. The delicious thought of his hand stroking his dick temporarily pushed away the disgusting feelings of jealousy and hurt.

When the blunt head of his cock pushed at my entrance, I angled my hips back, wanting him in me as deep as he could possibly be, wanting to have him claim me and own me, use my body to erase his actions from the night before.

"Nothing will ever feel this way, Edward. Nothing," he vowed, quickly working his thick cock inside me, "will ever compare… to this, to us."

I knew he was right.

He wasted no time, pulling out and shoving back in forcefully. Every time he withdrew, I pushed back only to be slammed forward into the wall again when he slid deep inside me. We were tangled limbs and panting breath and sweaty bodies, unsure of where he ended and I began. It was raw and feral and greedy. Brutal thrusts had me shaking, biting my lip so hard I thought it might bleed. It was so fucking intense and I struggled to hold off, to fight against my orgasm until he was just as close as I was.

"Just me, Edward," he growled. "Only I can do this to you. ."

He punctuated his last words with hard thrusts, angling his hips to hit my prostate with each stroke, stealing my breath. The wall felt cool against my heated skin as my dick slid against it with each movement of our entwined bodies. While one hand held my hips securely to him, the other freely roamed over my body, leaving red marks from his nails in its wake.

"Only you," I declared, unable to hold it in any longer. "Fuck… only you."

"He couldn't make you feel like this. No matter what, you know I'm the only one that will ever make you feel this way."

His thighs slapped against me as he brutally pounded me, time all but coming to a stop as he used my body to chase his release. I felt something shift through him, fingers easing up, a grip not as tight, thrusts beginning to slow. It was as if all the energy had been taken from him and for a moment, my heart stopped.

I wondered if that was it, if my words had been too much, if I had pushed him away and he was about to leave me.

"So good… please… I fucking can't…" he mumbled in broken phrases, worrying me even further, his hips slowing to a stop as he rested his forehead on my shoulder. Sweaty and shaking against me, his breath washed over my back, worrying and comforting me at the same time.

Confused and scared, I turned my head to question him but the words were caught by his lips as he kissed me hungrily. Heated and desperate, his tongue caressed mine, the whimper he let loose was on the edge of pleading but for what, I didn't know. He pulled his cock out of me and coaxed me to turn around, his hands still on my hips, our lips never separating as I relaxed back against the wall. It was slow, deep, more of the Jasper I knew instead of the anger and possession I had felt before. As his hands roamed my back, shoulders and neck, his mouth left mine only to finally finish taking off my pants and toss them aside. Reversing our position until his back was against the wall, his touch turned desperate and he clung to me, his lips constantly on mine, yielding and demanding at the same time. Sliding down the wall, he brought me down to straddle his lap. I wanted to do more, give more, make him feel more, anything to keep us tied together when we were apart. Selfishly, I ignored the little voice that told me I was only willing because I wanted to keep him, and let him wrap me in his embrace, returning it with fervor.

When the head of his cock pressed against my entrance again, I opened my eyes and pulled my lips from his, his intense gaze ripping the gaping hole in my chest open, filling it with all that he could give me. Something in the way he moved and wanted and looked unraveled me.

And I knew.

No matter what he had done the night before, no matter who he had been with or where he had been, he was still Jasper.

_My _Jasper.

That overwhelming connection was still there, strong and steady and coursing through me until it felt like my body was on fire.

His touch still felt the same. It still made my heart race and my cock harden. It still gave me more pleasure than anything I had ever experienced.

His lips still told me the same thing. That he wanted me. That he cared. That he knew me like no one else ever would.

And when his thighs met my ass, his cock fully sheathed inside me, I knew that he still owned my body. Playing it and manipulating it much like I was an instrument and he was a musician, my body literally singing for him.

Nothing had changed.

"Fuck," he rasped, his voice hoarse with arousal and a number of other things I couldn't identify.

Pulling out smoothly, his hands grasped the skin that covered my ribs and thrust back in slowly, filling me completely for the first time since we had started because it meant something. It wasn't out of anger or retaliation for my hurtful words anymore. It was apologetic and caring and everything I needed.

"Oh my God," I sighed as my entire body tingled.

I lost all track of time after that, it could have been minutes or hours. No words were spoken, we didn't need them anymore, our bodies spoke for us. It was pushing and pulling, our lips in constant contact and our hands everywhere; in each other's hair, clawing at each other's backs, until finally settling for one of his hands in mine covering his pounding heart and his other hand stroking my cock.

I was getting close, my hips grinding hard against him every time he entered me. Graceful fingers gripped my cock, our insistent rocking growing needier. Knowing I wouldn't be able to take much more, I began bouncing on his cock, trying to push him over the edge.

Unfortunately, he stopped me, ceasing my movements by gripping my hips and holding me down, his cock twitching hard as he sat deep within me. Our eyes locked, stormy blue meeting green and I watched, yet again, as a number of emotions crossed his face before finally settling on sadness and my heart clenched at the sight. Slowly, he closed the small amount of distance between our lips, softly brushing his mouth over mine.

"Tell me again," he whispered desperately.

He didn't need to clarify; I knew exactly what he needed.

"Only you, Jasper."

A small noise escaped his throat, something between a whimper and groan, and he swelled and pulsed inside me, filling the condom with come as he captured my lips again. His orgasm seemed to go on forever, his fingers digging into my hips as his hips jerked up into me erratically. It was so beautiful, seeing him so raw, so carnal like that.

When he was spent, his forehead hit my chest; his heavy breaths caressing my skin and making my overly sensitive nipples tingle. My cock was literally aching, Jasper's hand had faltered during his orgasm and I knew the slightest touch would be all I needed. As if reading my mind, he tilted his head and looked up at me through his lashes, his eyes still heavy-lidded and swimming with emotions. When his hand moved over my cock, I twitched in his palm, biting my lip hard as my hips strained toward his touch.

"Come on, baby, come for me."

And I exploded.

My fists tugged at his curls as my head lolled back and a harsh cry escaped me, my cum shooting in strong bursts from my cock, covering his hand and stomach. Still semi-hard, he continued thrusting into me, prolonging my orgasm until I was drained both physically and mentally. After the whirlwind of emotions I had been through, I didn't think I could handle much more, my head and my heart sore from the battle I had been fighting.

When I was able to open my eyes again, Jasper was staring at me, sorrow and regret written clearly on his face. I had caused that, his pain was from me. Shame and guilt overcame me.

"I'm so sorr-"

"Don't," he urged gently, giving me a small, sad smile and using his clean hand to brush the damp clumps of hair off my forehead. I couldn't help but lean into his tender touch.

Wordlessly, I nodded and raised myself off his cock, feeling empty as soon as he slipped from me. Kneeling beside him, I reached for my ruined shirt, wiping off his abdomen and his hand before cleaning my cock. He remained still, intently watching every move I made, nothing escaping his gaze. When I was done, I tossed the shirt aside and pulled the condom off his softening cock, throwing it onto my shirt. He quirked an eyebrow at me and I shrugged.

"It was ruined anyway," I replied to his unasked question.

Then he opened his arms and I moved between his spread legs. Laying my back against his chest, he drew me close and wrapped his arms around my middle. I let my head fell back onto his shoulder and I felt his lips brush my cheek as he gently nuzzled me, my hands went to his, entwining our fingers as the last of my orgasm began to recede from my body.

"I told you not to watch," he murmured softly, but unapologetically.

He was right, he had warned me. He had only been doing his _job_, but some masochistic side of me had needed to see the reality of him being an escort, of him fucking others for money. We could pretend that's not what he was when we were alone, but we both knew better. Whether it be in the form of Spencer, his clients, or the fact that my work in Seattle would eventually be completed and I would no longer be making the biweekly trips, the real world always had a way of crawling back into our lives.

"I can't do this, Jasper. I can't be with you knowing you're…fucking other men," I responded, but even as the words left my mouth, I knew they were a lie.

I would do it, I had to do it.

"It's my fucking job, Edward," he reasoned.

With a heavy sigh, I nodded. "I know…your job is fucking," I whispered, closing my eyes. As he shifted his weight behind me, the rug scratched my tender ass and I knew I would be sore the next day. Tightening his hold on me, he angled his head to so he could see my eyes.

"What do you want from me?" he asked quietly.

I didn't answer him because I didn't know. There was no way I would ask him to quit; I had no right to ask that.

"So," he paused, taking in a shallow breath, "would you rather we end it?"

There was a long moment of silence, his question sitting heavy in the musk-scented air. Even as that possibility threatened both of us, my fingers moved with his, touching and adoring, and my body relaxed against his even more than before. My mind might have warned me about what I was getting into, the reasonable part of me screaming to walk away, he was giving me an easy out, take it and be done. But my heart…that was a fixed point, and it was not leaving him.

Honestly, I had known from the minute he walked into my room that night months before, the minute he had touched me and held me and spoke to me, that he was it. I had never experienced love before. The closest I could come was my relationship with Mason, but we had been so young, curious and inexperienced, it had all felt so new and exciting, it had been easy to mistake it for love.

"No," I finally replied in barely a whisper. The sigh of relief that escaped him brushed over my shoulder and cheek, and I felt his forehead against my temple.

"Baby…" he began but never finished, not able to find the words he wanted to say, the words he felt.

Lifting one of his hands to my lips, I kissed it and then placed it on my chest over my heart. "Can I ask you something?"

He nodded, turning his head so we were cheek to cheek.

"How do you do it? How do you have sex with other men even though we're…we're…" I stumbled for the right word but came up empty.

"Together?"

When I nodded, I felt him tense behind me, his fingers stilling in mine as he considered my question. Perhaps he didn't have an answer, or perhaps thought the answer would hurt, but nothing could have hurt more than having had seen him with a client.

"It's okay, tell me," I implored.

"It's hard to explain, Edward."

"Please try."

He lifted his head from mine, his eyes staring at our hands over my heart, his entire body on edge behind me.

"Every since I was …young, I've been able to separate my body from my mind, disengage it somehow. At first it was to just imagine myself someplace saf-… someplace else. I got very good at it and now my body can experience the physical pleasure, feel everything, but my mind isn't always necessarily there. "

"How?"

Shaking his head, he trembled behind me and I felt the walls of his carefully built fortress beginning to crack.

"I honestly don't know," his voice cracked a bit.

I didn't believe him, there was more, but I let it go, knowing that whatever had caused him to perfect such skill was traumatic and we had already been through enough.

"So you have sex with other men-"

"Women, too."

"And women," I sighed, "and you enjoy it?"

"Not always, but with some, yes, it feels very good. But Edward," he paused, the rough pad of his thumb caressing my nipple. "With them it's just sex. You know it's not like that with you."

I tried to resist the smile, but I felt it pulling at my lips regardless. His wheat curls ticked my cheek as he dragged his nose along my jaw, deeply inhaling my scent.

"Do you cuddle with any of them?"

_Do you hold them, cling to them like you do me_?

There was a pause before he replied, "No."

Snuggling into his grasp more, I began to feel an unquenchable thirst to know more about him, anything, just something his other clients didn't know.

"Is Jasper your real name?" I blurted out, catching him off guard. He had been expecting a sexual related question, not something as mundane as a name.

After considering for a few seconds, he whispered. "Yes." Then he supplied me with what I really wanted. "Jasper Whitlock."

_Jasper Whitlock._

"That's a beautiful name," I smiled. "Jasper Whitlock…."

"Thanks," he murmured, even blushing a bit. The boy fucked others for money and he blushed when I complimented his name? Then I realized it was because his name was more personal to him then sex was, it was something he didn't easily share with others, something he had trusted me with. My heart swelled a bit at the thought.

Greedy, I released one of his hands on my chest and let it fall to his thigh. Slowly, I trailed it up his sweaty muscle to his hip where I blindly felt for the scar I knew was hidden in the crevice there. He flinched when my finger traced the jagged line, but he remained relax and sated.

"And this?" I asked, my finger repeating the pattern of the white line marring his perfect skin. "How did you get this?"

Clearly uncomfortable with my question, he shifted behind me, his arms tightening around me even as I felt his hands move to my hips to push me off. Lifting me, he separated us a bit but then stopped, as if he couldn't decide to continue or give in. I felt the battle raging inside him, his body trembling in fight or flight mode against my back, his heart pounded and I relaxed into his touch, letting him know that he could push me away if he wanted, but I wasn't leaving voluntarily.

It was his choice.

Pulling myself from his embrace, I turned to face him, my body aching with the movements. With my knees bracketing his thighs, I placed one open palm on his cheek, the other low on his left hip over the scar, the current source of his torment.

"Jasper?"

Biting his bottom lip, he stared at me, so uncertain and frightened. In those deep blue eyes, I saw past his defensiveness and confusion, straight into the truth in his soul that struggled to show itself to me.

But he refused, shaking his head, his eyes finally lowering from mine.

"I can't, I…"

There was something naïve and childish in his actions, like a child afraid of a monster under his bed, but I knew it went so much deeper than that. Whatever Jasper kept hidden deep inside him caused his body to quiver and tremble in front of me. Resting my forehead to his, I closed my eyes and wrapped a hand around his neck, burying my fingers into his silky hair. His thin breaths were warm on my face as he tried to regain control.

"Love, it doesn't matter what you're too afraid to tell me. I'm in too deep already. I'm not walking away…I can't."

He nodded, although I wasn't sure if it was for me or him, and then he took a deep breath.

"You're not going to like this."

"**~~**

Thanks for reading~

Lots of news…

First, my profile has been updated with a new multi-chapter J/E slash called "If on a Winter's Night." A story I've been dying to write for 9 months.

Second, Round two of The Slash awards! Nominations are going on, so pick out your favorite slash kiss, ILY, Domsper, Inkward etc. Details are here http:/ theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com - Follow us on twitter theslashawards

Third, M&A has been nominated for a **Golden Lemon Award for Best Slash**, and a **Glove Award for Best Jasper**. You can vote for your favorites here:

http:/www DOT goldenlemonawards DOT com/ (voting until Aug 30th)

http:/thegloveawards DOT webs DOT com (voting until August 13th)

Finally, come join us on the M&A thread on Twilighted…. http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674


	15. Return of the Wicked Witch

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Okay, here it is, and I think I chewed all off my nails writing this one. It might not be quite what ya'll are expecting but it's what Jasper told me….

Big thanks to OfTheDamned for her quick beta.

Huge hugs for Dannie, the hottest girl out there, for talking me down from the edge a few times, and for understanding why Sweet Home Alabama led to…well, you'll see.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

Considering what had already happened between us, he looked so calm sitting between my legs, his forehead resting solidly and comforting against mine. There was no worry in his eyes, only faith, honesty and something else I had never seen before. But I still needed more reassurance from him, for some reason I needed more.

I wasn't ashamed of being a hooker. Peter had taught me it was part of who I was, like having blue eyes and blond hair-there was no changing it. I had done what I needed to do to survive.

_Surviving. _

It was what I had been doing my entire life, even long before I sold my body for money, I had been finding ways to survive. As a kid, I hadn't realized what I was doing when I hid in the closet whenever my father's red-headed friend that liked to touch me came over. It was why I always slept with one eye open at the Home. It was why I had closed myself off from everyone, and why I trusted no one. Being a hooker was just another way for me to survive, take what God had given me and use it to live on. I didn't do it for drugs, or because someone made me, I did it to stay alive.

I still did it for the same reason, though my survival now included designer names, and it wasn't just _my_ survival anymore. There was another unknowingly depending on me.

But while I wasn't ashamed of it, I was still fearful of admitting my past to Edward. Honestly, I was afraid of losing him, of his rejection. I had spent the night before under the weight of him and Peter and it had been exhausting, my entire body was drained in every way. Only two nights before, Edward and I had decided to take…whatever it was we were to a different level, one I had never thought I'd ever reach with someone.

Ever.

And there I was, about to tell the one person that created the fucking hummingbirds in my stomach, the one that caused a pull in me to physically ache when he wasn't around, that I had let anyone with enough money fuck me.

I hoped he'd be as accepting as Peter had been.

"Jasper?" he finally prompted when I hadn't spoken yet. He lifted a hand and caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Love, you're shaking," he said worriedly.

Looking down, I saw my hands on his thighs, my fingers trembling from the unknown.

"Baby, you got to promise…" Closing my eyes, I wanted to fight the sense of complete exposure that made me feel naked and open in ways far beyond sex. Before Edward, I had been lost, but he'd found me, made me feel things that I had only heard rumors of. This was what I needed to do.

Even if he got up and walked away, if he couldn't handle it, I had beautiful memories of him to take with me. I wasn't sure if he'd feel the same way, but I'd never regret him or our time together. The pad of his thumb stroked my lip and I knew what I would miss the most.

His touch.

The one that excited me beyond all others, that created a spark in me so deep and powerful that it caused my heart to skip, and that eased the pull that threatened to steal my breath. My very soul would be uncovered for his judgment. With Edward, for the first time, I had found the person hiding inside of me, and I knew who I was supposed to be.

It wasn't a hooker or an escort, but rather, Edward's man.

I shuddered, frightened to my very core at that unwavering thought.

Patiently, he waited for me to gather the strength I needed.

"Promise not to leave me," I whispered, my lips moving against his thumb as it traced them repeatedly. My nails dug into his flesh as if I could prevent him from going anywhere, and he didn't flinch, even when I knew it must have been painful.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jasper Whitlock," he repeated, smiling when he said my name.

"You might want to," I sighed, finally opening my eyes.

"No, I won't. After what we've just been though, after everything we've been through so far…Jasper, nothing you say could make me walk away. I know after last night and this morning, it's hard to do, but have faith in me, Jasper. Trust me."

_Trust him._

Taking another deep breath, I began. "When Tanya offered me the job, I was on the streets."

Edward didn't respond but his fingers were constantly on my face and neck, stroking, caressing tenderly as he traced my features like he was trying to convince himself that I was really there with him.

"_On_ the streets," I emphasized. A slightly confused look crossed his face and I could only imagine what was going through his mind - an image of me walking down Seneca Avenue with shopping bags in my hands on my way to meet friends when I get stopped and convinced to give being an escort a try. His eyes stared into mine as he tried to put the pieces he was missing together.

"I was a hooker," I blurted out.

His reaction wasn't immediate, his peaceful state was the calm before the storm, before it sank in that he's been having sex with someone off the streets.

"A hooker," he repeated, his hands stilling on my body. Painfully gnawing on my bottom lip, I nodded. "Like Pretty Woman?"

_Pretty Woman?_

"Who's that?"

His hands slipped completely from my body as he sat back on his heels between my spread legs.

"It's a movie," he explained quietly, "about a hooker. Julia Roberts?"

The last movie I had seen was "Wizard of Oz".

"Oh."

Tilting his head, he eyed me curiously. I could practically hear his thoughts. He was starting to wonder, starting to put things together; the inability to skip rocks, never seeing a photo booth before, the way I avoiding talking about myself, always steering the conversation back to him.

"You've never seen it, have you?" Slowly, I shook my head. "Tell me," was all he said but I knew exactly what he meant, he wanted to know why.

There were things that haunted me in my nightmares. Things that I'd never said aloud and only one person knew about, things I rarely admitted to myself. These things I couldn't tell him, but he deserved some sort of explanation.

"I didn't have the same upbringing as most kids," I began. Keeping my gaze on him to judge his reactions, I continued, "I was taken away from my parents by the state of Texas when I was eleven and put into an orphanage." I paused, letting him absorb what I'd said so far.

"But why were you a hooker?" he asked, still confused.

"You have to leave the orphanage when you turn eighteen. I had no place to go and very little money, so I took a bus here, and well, I was standing on a street corner one day trying to figure out where I was going to find food and a guy pulled up and rolled down his window. I thought he needed directions or something, so I walked up to his car and he just looked at me for a minute, like he was waiting for me to say something. Just as I was about to walk away, he said 'ten bucks for head', and after not eating for nearly a week, ten bucks sounded pretty fucking wonderful. So…I did it," I rationalized.

He was silent, his eyes focusing on the racing pulse in my neck.

"After that, it was easy," I finished, almost shrugging.

"Easy?" His eyes darted up to mine. "Easy to sell yourself?"

Yes, compared to what I had already endured for years on end.

"Compared to the way I had been living…yes, it was easy," I confirmed, and then just waited while he processed what I had told him. After a few long silent moments, my heart pounding in my chest the entire time, he lifted his hand and cupped my cheek.

"I don't know what to say," he finally admitted.

"Just tell me what you're thinking," I sighed, my body tensing as I waited.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Jasper," he whispered before leaning toward me, brushing his lips over mine. On his thighs, my fingers clenched and relaxed as he languidly kissed me, never deepening it, just letting me know he was okay. Shifting his weight, he moved until he was straddling me again, our softened cocks touching as he continued to kiss me. Running my hands up the sides of his body, over his muscle-covered ribs; I brought them to his neck and tangled them into his hair, bringing him even closer. When he finally pulled away, his hands were on my shoulders, his fingers playing with the ends of my curls, his sweet breath warming my face.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Honestly?"

I nodded.

"No," he sighed, shaking his head. Confused by the kiss, my heart raced and I began biting my lip again before his finger on them stopped me. "I'm not okay with you being forced into prostitution in order to eat. There are…there are so many people out there like me and then we've got good people like you selling themselves to get food."

I didn't correct him by telling him that most either did it for drugs or had been tricked into it by a boyfriend with the promise of a lot of money.

"I wasn't forced into it; no one made me do it. It was just a means to end, I guess. I needed money and had no way to get it."

"Why didn't you go to college after high school?" he asked innocently. His naiveté about my lifestyle was similar to mine about his. We truly were opposites.

"College?" I snorted. "I didn't even graduate high school, Edward. Once I turned eighteen, I left the orphanage, but I wasn't finished with school."

"You never graduated?" he asked, unable to contain the shock in his voice, his fingers almost tugging on my hair.

"Nope." I almost laughed at the thought of him accepting I was a hooker, but leaving me because I'd never graduated. "Edward?"

He gave me a warm smile and kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry, love. I hate that you had to do that, it's just a lot to take in. I'm angry, frustrated, sad, and so glad you were able to get out."

"Well, I didn't exactly get out."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm an escort, baby, not much of a leap from hooking."

"It's safer, steady income, clients are cleared before you see them," he stated. "It's what led us to each other."

"All of that is true, but I still…I still have sex with people for money." Before Peter I might have said that with shame, but now I held my head up and looked Edward directly in the eye. He leaned back a bit, jealousy flickering in his eyes as the reality of my words hit him fresh and raw.

"That man…he's a…"

"Client," I finished for him.

"Like me."

"Not like you, no, but he is a regular, yes," I offered, probably more than I should have. The service had strict confidentiality rules and for the second time in only a few hours I was breaking several by talking to one client about another.

"How often?" he sighed. While he waited for my reply, his fingers began skimming along my shoulders and down my arms, his light grazing touch awakening every cell in my body.

"Usually weekly," I answered honestly.

"You see him more than me," he realized wistfully.

Immediately, I gripped his hair to get his attention. "He's not you, baby. You know this," I motioned between us with my head, "is different."

"I know," he whispered, putting his forehead back to mine. "It's just hard. I imagine you with other men sometimes and it's just hot and other times it's hard to stomach. After last night, now I have a face to put with the images."

Sitting my lap, his knees on either side of my thighs, he healed us with his acceptance. Relieved, I smiled and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank you," I murmured into his ear.

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me, for not holding my past against me."

What he knew of it anyway.

"Can I ask you a few questions?"

Edward was curious by nature, perhaps it was the businessman in him or maybe it was a side effect from being rich, always wanting to see how the rest of us lived, so I wasn't surprised when he wanted to know more. It was a matter of how much I thought he could handle, and what I was willing to tell him. Releasing him from the hug, I leaned back against the wall and nodded.

"What was it like?"

Not exactly the question I had been expecting.

"Being a hooker?"

He fucking blushed, all pink cheeks and downcast eyes, as he nodded. Suspecting this wasn't his normal curiosity, I put my hands on his hips and shifted them closer to mine, our cocks in constant contact.

"It's not an easy life. I was lucky, I got a lot of repeat business, mostly men but a few women. The women liked me to go down on them the most. Guess their husband's didn't care much for it or something. The men, they liked to…fuck me mostly. Sometimes, I just gave head or hand job. The money wasn't very steady. Winters were horrible and cold and slow."

"Where did you live?"

"When it was warm, I'd sleep in doorways or alleys behind dumpsters. In the winter, there were a few abandoned buildings we all used. No heat but kept out of the wind and rain."

"Jasper," he began but never finished, his voice heavy and thick with sympathy that I didn't want or need it.

"It's okay, Edward. It's over now and I'm here." Lifting his head from mine, I saw his eyes shining with concern. I swiped at them before anything fell from their corners. "Really. I'm okay."

"Did you make enough money to eat?" he asked.

"I was usually able to afford something every day."

Not entirely a lie.

"What about…" he wasn't able to finish, instead he gnawed on his lip nervously.

"Just ask, Edward."

"Your health," he stated rather than asked. It was a legitimate concern, but not one he had to worry about.

"I never let anyone near me without a condom, if they didn't wear one, there was no deal. Tanya had me tested for everything before I could work for her, and we have to get tested every six months."

"And the scar?" he reminded me, his thumb tracing the slight ridge.

"I was trying to help out a friend who was being assaulted; turned out the guy had a knife. Caught me right there when I tried to pull him off my friend."

"The police get him?"

I laughed. "Baby, we didn't go to the police. What we're doing out there on the streets is kind of illegal, we tend to avoid the police."

"But how did you get the hospital?"

"I didn't. My friend brought me to a guy who stitched me up," I shrugged.

"With?"

"Thread, I think. Not sure, I wasn't too with it, I had passed out."

Suddenly, he looked down, the blush reappearing to his cheeks. "Will you tell me about your first time?"

I was shocked by his question, surprised he wanted to hear about me with someone else after the jealousy over Peter. Raising my eyebrows, I silently asked if he was ready to hear the details. The glint in his eye said he was more than ready.

"The guy was mid-twenties with short, brown hair, clean looking, nice clothes, and wedding band on his left hand-"

"He was married?" he interrupted.

"Babe, a lot of them were married. They were trying to get something they weren't getting from their wives- like a cock," I explained. "He seemed harmless enough, so I got in and he drove us around the corner to a parking lot. It was pretty busy but he parked near the edge. I remember his car smelled like a pine tree. He handed me the money, unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down to his knees. I bent over and sucked him off. "

In my hands, Edward shuddered, his entire body responding to my words. I don't think he realized that he had started to slightly thrust his hips, his cock getting harder with each brush against mine. Then I remembered the club, how he had watched the boys dance while I had jerked him off.

Edward was a bit of a voyeur. He got excited by others doing what he felt he couldn't, by their sexual freedom he didn't have. Being a hooker, I'd had the ultimate in sexual freedom, constantly able to express myself sexually with other, doing as they asked or desired.

A freedom Edward had never experienced, certainly not to the extent I was familiar with it.

He wasn't turned off or jealous of me being a hooker, he was fucking aroused.

It wasn't what I had been expecting but I went with it, sliding my hands down to his hips, my thumbs stroked his soft flesh, encouraging his wanton movements.

"So I took him into my mouth, really deep, all the way down into my throat. He got so fucking excited, he started yelling out 'oh fuck, oh fuck,' and I thought we'd get caught. He put his hand on my head to keep me there and I just went to work. Sucking him, licking him…"

Edward's eyes glazed over and his hips picked up speed. Keeping one hand still, I reached for his completely hard cock and gripped it, letting him fuck my fist slowly.

"He fucked my mouth like you are my hand, short quick thrusts. He tasted salty, his cock was so hard and thick. Filled my mouth right up," I said lowly.

"Oh, fuck," he whimpered, his head lolling back. Putting his hands on my shoulders for leverage as he leaned back, pushing his hips forward. "More," he begged.

I wasn't sure if he meant the story or the handjob, so I gave him both. Increasing my speed on his cock, I watched him intently; his face beautiful as he sought his release, his need etched into every feature from his open mouth, to his wet lips, to his closed eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I reached between his legs and took his balls into my hand, rolling them over and over while I licked every inch of his cock. He wasn't cut, so I kept sticking my tongue under his skin, he loved it. Drove him so wild he was almost screaming. Telling me how good I was, how good my mouth felt on his dick. I'm sure someone heard us because he didn't hold back at all. I could tell he was close, his body was clenching, I could feel his cock twitching and his balls tightened in my hand."

Edward groaned, his cock slickened from his precum as he easily slid in and out of my hand.

"He looked a lot like you do now. Are you ready to come too, baby? You want to come in my hand?"

With is bottom lip firmly between his teeth, he nodded and opened his eyes to watch me as I pushed him over the edge.

But I didn't just push him, I fucking shoved.

"When he came, I let him spray it all over my face. It was warm and I could feel it run down my cheek. I kept stroking him until he begged me to stop; his cock was so sensitive after he came."

Much like the dance club, he lowered his head to my shoulder, my lips right at his ear.

"So close…feels so good. Did you ever see him again?" he asked, breathless.

"Yeah, he found me about a week later, wanted to fuck me."

"Did you let him?" I felt his cock twitch in my hand.

"For fifty bucks," I whispered, my tongue edging out to lick his lobe. My stroke never faulted, his climax was only a few thrusts away, and I wanted to get him there desperately.

Suddenly Edward jumped off me, pulling his cock from my fist as he did so. Before I had even registered what was going on, he was standing up, his hands urgently running through his hair.

"Shit, shit, fuck," he murmured under his breath.

"Edward, what the-"

Then I heard it.

An insistent knock at the door.

Bending over, he grabbed his pants and clumsily began putting them on, swaying side to side. Hissing has he stuffed his cock into the pants, fumbling fingers did up the button and zipper, the outline of his erection obvious through the tight denim.

"Edward, calm down, it's probably just the maid," I chuckled at him. Stilling, he glanced between me and the door.

"It's not the maid," he sighed. "It's Spencer."

As if right on cue, "Edward, I know you're in there, I can hear you moving around. Open the door," said a deep voice from the other side of the door.

My blood heated at the sound and I felt my nails digging into my palms as I fisted my hands. I wanted to open the door myself and beat the shit out of him.

"Stay here," he requested as he headed to the door, the musky scent of sex following him. I saw him grab a towel off the couch and drape it across his shoulders before opening the door.

"Fucking about time," Spencer said, his voice clearer. "Oh, did I interrupt your shower?"

"What do you want?" Edward's voice was strained, tense. Certainly a lot different than it had been only a minute before when it had been coated with euphoria. There was a pause and I could only imagine what was happening. Resting my head against the wall, completely naked, my cock hard from Edward's earlier movements, I listened. The hall was directly to the left of the door, I was less than ten feet away.

"Well, what do we have here? Are you glad to see me, or perhaps you were thinking of me in the shower? I certainly thought of you this morning when I woke up with a hard on. Stroked myself until I came to the image of you spanking me."

Rage poured through me, every muscle tensing with the desire to hit something, to pound Spencer to a pulp.

But for Edward, I remained in the hallway, leaving him to handle Spencer.

"What the hell do you want?" Edward asked, ignoring Spencer's earlier comments.

"You're what I want, Cullen."

Closing my eyes, I could practically see him standing there in his all his fucked up glory, his eyes hungrily roaming over my Edward, concentrating on his erection. His hands were probably twitching with the thought of touching Edward, of….

"Give me thirty minutes to finish my shower, then we can go over the files for tomorrow," Edward replied, his voice sounding tired and defeated.

Like he had given up.

I hated Spencer. Not only for having the worst fucking timing in the world, but for taking the life from Edward, for making him feel he had no other choice.

"You sure you don't want my help with that, um, problem you have?" Spencer offered, his voice dripping with lust as his eyes probably glimmered with hope.

I had to give him credit, he was a persistent fucker.

"Thirty minutes," Edward repeated before slamming the door. I heard him sigh heavily before I saw the towel being tossed onto the couch again and then footsteps approached me.

"I suppose you heard," he assumed correctly, slumping down the wall to sit next to me.

Not able to contain it anymore, I ranted, "I want to fuck him up, Edward. Who the fuck does he think is? He's got no right to fucking talk to you like that! You're not his plaything, you're a man, and you're m-" I caught myself before I said the word.

"What?"

"You're mine," I finished quietly. Laying his head on my shoulder, he smiled at my possessiveness.

"Yes, I'm yours," he admitted happily. "And you're mine," he added, "at least most of you."

I turned and straddled his legs, taking his face in my hands, I saw the conflict in his eyes. I pressed my lips to his.

"All of me is yours, baby."

Reaching up, he took my hands from his face and held them in his.

"Thank you for telling me, Jasper. Thank you for trusting me, for believing in me," he said, his fingers tangling with mine. "I know you're still holding back and that's okay, I understand. But I do hope someday you will trust me with the rest of it."

Looking down, I sighed. Perhaps I had underestimated Edward, perhaps he was ready for it all, but it was no longer the time or place. I was naked, he was dressed, and our time was limited.

"Someday," I agreed, and then stood up, bringing him with me. "Right now, I need to get dressed and out of here." I bent over to grab my pants and briefs, pulling them on. After I did them up, I paused and looked at him. "Unless you want me to stay and take care of that asshole for you?"

He actually smiled and shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but I can handle him."

Putting on my shirt, I did the buttons up, and then slipped my arms through my jacket and stuffed my tie into my pocket.

"Two weeks?" I asked as I pulled my shoes on. When he didn't reply, I looked up at him. He was still, looking down at the floor. "You okay?"

Slowly, he brought his eyes to meet mine. "It's such a long time."

Stopping, I reached for him and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I know, but next time we'll be at my place, and we can be alone."

"What if you're…busy?" he asked, his voice muffled by my shoulder.

"We'll have some time together, I promise."

I hoped.

Lifting my head from his shoulder, I kissed him, immediately plunging my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, memorizing him. He moaned into the kiss and pressed his hips to mine. His erection that had waned in Spencer's presence came back, ready for me to ease its ache. My body responded to his desire, my hands diving into his hair, tugging on the thick locks with the constant urgency I always felt with him. I felt his hands clawing at my back, keeping me to him to tightly, the buttons of my shirt imprinting on his bare chest. Groaning, I felt the heat radiate from him, he was ripe for the taking.

Breathless, I broke the kiss, my lips traveling over his jaw and down the corded muscles of his neck.

"Fuck, I want you. I always fucking want you," I panted as my hips jutted toward his recklessly. Edward tilted his head back, ready to give himself to me, and I felt his accompanying moan vibrate through him. "So fucking hard for you, baby, I want to fuck you again."

"Jesus, don't say shit like that, Jasper," he said, already sounding out of control. "But…"

I removed my lips from his the tender skin of his neck and sighed.

"We don't have time to fuck," I stated simply and he chuckled.

"Not the way I want to. The next time we fuck, I want it slow, I want it to last all night," he tempted me.

"Edward, after not seeing you for two weeks, I can guarantee it won't be slow. It will be fast and hard, but we can still fuck all night," I teased him, grinding my hips into his. "Again and again and again…."

He chuckled and grabbed my hips to still my movement.

"Can I call?"

"Definitely."

I finally broke away and headed for the door, Edward right behind me. As I went to open the door, I turned to him.

"To bad there isn't a secret escape route," I joked. Smiling, he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine briefly.

"Do me a favor?"

"Yeah?"

"Watch Pretty Woman," he requested with a blush. Laughing, I gave him one last hug.

"Miss you already," I whispered sadly into his ear.

"Me too."

I opened the door and glanced down the hall toward Spencer's door and then toward Peter's before darting toward the elevator.

"**~~**"

Propped up on my coffee table, my feet moved to the catchy music. Leaning back I took a sip of my beer and a bite of pizza.

This was the life.

I was comfortable, drinking a beer, having a pizza. I had always wondered if a life like this had existed.

Safe, warm, and fed.

And the night off.

For the first time in days, fuck, weeks, I was completely comfortable. My body was tired, sated and used, but all in good ways. The pull had eased while I had been with Edward, but as soon as I had stepped onto the elevator after leaving him, it had come back, sharp and hard. But as I had headed for the limo, I reminded myself that Edward and I were okay, he had taken the news of my days working the streets…in an unexpected, and accepting, way. I had felt Aro's eyes on me as I'd headed toward the limo.

"Morning, sir." He had opened the door and I got in.

"I know I'm late," I had sighed to him he got in behind the wheel. "I'm sorry. I had to… it was unavoidable."

"No problem, sir." He pulled out into the traffic. "I saw Mr. Cullen's driver when I pulled up," he'd said knowingly. "Your appointment last night was with Mr. Carlson, wasn't it?"

Catching his eye in the mirror, I'd nodded, confirming his unspoken suspicion.

_Yes, Aro, I was fucked by one man while another practically watched, oh and then I went back with one, had a fucking amazing night, only to run to the other this morning._

"Mind if we stop somewhere on the way home, Aro?"

"Sure, where, sir?"

"Video store."

"Of course."

At my building, he had opened the door for me, I got out and he grabbed my arm.

"Be careful, Jasper," he warned softly.

"I will," I said, giving him a little smile. "See you tomorrow?"

"Five o'clock sharp," he confirmed.

I had showered, changed into some sweatpants and tee shirt before ordering a pizza to be delivered. As I sat there, I felt a swelling in my chest, not an ache, more of a pleasurable warming with a sweet pressure. It was something I'd never felt before, something foreign and the longer it lasted, the more I enjoyed it. The hummingbirds in my stomach were active, participating in the overall feeling. The pull was ever present, alternately easing and tugging on my heart.

The closest thing I could describe the feeling as was…happy.

I think I actually felt happy.

The knock on my door scared the shit out of me and I jumped, spilling some beer on my shirt.

"Shit," I mumbled, wiping my shirt off. Picking up the remote, I hit pause and went to the door, knowing who it was before I even opened it. Maybe it was my newfound happy feeling but he actually looked pretty good, his clothes were only slightly dirty and there was no scent of sex or body odor that usually followed him around, instead I swear I smelled soap.

"Did you shower?" I asked, sniffing the air with a smirk.

"Fuck you," he greeted with a smile. Not waiting for the invitation he knew he'd never get, he pushed by me, grabbing the beer out of my hand on his way. "And yes, I did. I hit the YMCA on my way here, but I had to jack someone's soap and toothpaste from their locker. They didn't have any shampoo though."

"YMCA?"

"Yeah, ya know, 'you can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal'. It's fun to stay at the YMCA," he broke into song, his arms going above his head, moving as he sang each letter.

Shocked fucking speechless, I stood there and watched Riley,_ Riley_, my drug addicted whore, sing and dance.

It was turning out to be a fucking weird day.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, attempting to look serious, but unable to contain the laughter that bubbled up.

"Dancing, asshole," he chuckled. "Young man, young man there's no need to feel down," he continued in rather nice singing voice.

"Are you high?" I asked. Tilting my head, I studied him, almost tempted to imitate his movements. That shit was contagious.

"Not yet, later," he replied honestly, lowering his arms to take a swig of beer before setting it on the floor. "How about this one, 'toot toot, hey, beep-beep, see them out on the street at night, walkin'  
picking up on all kinds of strangers, if the price is right you can score,'" he sang, swaying his hips back and forth with his arms above his head.

Licking my lips, my eyes hungrily roamed his body as it seductively moved. "What the fuck's gotten into you?"

He sighed, but didn't stop moving. "These are classics, Jas. We've got to go to the club again."

"Because the last time turned out so well?"

He moved to me, putting his hands on my hips, pushing his forward into mine, grinding them together.

"Dance with me," he asked with a wink, and just like that, my hips were moving with his, quickly loosening under his touch. "Mmmm, yeah just like that. You got to admit, we move well together."

Lifting my arms up, he ran his hands up and down my sides, constantly singing for us. Our bodies pressed together, moving to his music.

"A little too well I think. That guy was pissed last time, remember? He said we put on a show and then wanted to take us home for a private viewing."

He lifted his shoulders, his cheeks flushing at the memory I knew he hadn't forgotten. "We took the night off, and he couldn't understand that. Fuck, you feel so good. I don't know what you've been doing but fuck, so hot," he almost moaned as his hands freely skimmed over my shoulders and arms and up my back. Letting me go, he turned his back to me, nudging his ass against me, my hands going to his hips to keep him right where I wanted him.

Then he looked around and saw the pizza and paused movie. "Pizza?" he asked, heading for my couch and leaving me with a semi-hard cock and empty hands.

Sighing, I followed him. "Yeah, I'm off today, so just watching a movie," I said, flopping down next to him and putting my feet back on the table.

"A movie?" he asked, running his hand through his almost clean hair and raising an eyebrow at me. "Well, aren't you Mr. Domestic," he joked.

Learning forward he opened the pizza box and took a slice out. When he took a bite, his eyes almost rolled back into his head. "Oh fuck, Jasper, Jesus, this is fucking good pizza. Do you know how long it's been since I've had real pizza and not leftover crusts?"

"Have as much as you want, we can always get more," I offered, nudging the box toward him with my foot.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. And there's more beer in the fridge," I added.

"What movie you watching?" he mumbled as he chewed. "Wizard of Oz?"

He knew me well.

"Pretty Woman."

"Oh, about a hooker. Julia Roberts, right?" he said, his eyes lighting up a bit.

"Yeah, how'd you know that?" I asked, taking another sip of beer.

"Um, because I didn't grow up under a rock," he snorted. "Start it over, I want to watch." He reached for my remote and I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch, you'll break it," I scolded. Grabbing the remote, I rewound the DVD to the beginning. The music began and my foot started tapping again. Next to me, Riley leaned back, kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the table, eyeing me the entire time, waiting for me to bitch at him. When I let it slide, he snuggled down in the cushions and ate his pizza.

"Comfortable?" I asked, almost laughing.

"Fucking very comfortable," he replied with a nod. "See, that's Julia Roberts, she's a hooker named Vivian. And that guy, his name is Edward I think, he's a fucking rich guy," he explained. "In my opinion his ass is gay, but whatever," he added with a shrug. "No straight man would be so anal about their hair and clothes."

"Edward? He's the main character?"

"Ummm, yeah, he hires her and they hang out."

_Edward._

"No wonder he wanted me to see it," I murmured under my breath. Riley laughed at Vivian as she climbed down the fire escape. Laughter was not a noise I heard often from Riley, moans yes, laughter, no.

"I've so done that before," he added when his laughter had died down. "Actually I think I've had sex on a fire escape."

"Where haven't you had sex?" I smirked.

He actually considered my question. "I haven't had sex on a fire truck, in a police ca-oh wait, no, I did," he chuckled. "He had real handcuffs too," he remembered fondly. I whacked his shoulder and he giggled. "See you and me, Jas, we're like Vivian and Kit," he compared as he took another bite pizza. "But I'm totally Vivian because I'm hotter than you are."

"Bullshit. Besides, I'm taller so I'm Vivian. And Kit uses drugs like you," I added for effect.

"Okay, you got me there."

We were quiet for a few minutes, Riley constantly eating.

"Don't eat so fast, you're go-"

"Make myself sick, yeah, I know. You say that every time and I haven't gotten sick yet," he challenged with a raised brow. "Hey, you got some clothes I can change into? Get more comfortable."

"In the bedroom, the basket on the floor." He got up and headed for my room.

"Hey, am I working it?" he asked, imitating Vivian by swaying his hips back and forth. "I know you're watching my ass."

"You know it." I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "Don't fucking touch anything," I added over my shoulder as an afterthought.

When he joined me again, he was wearing my Tommy Hilfiger tee shirt and sweatpants, and had two more beers in his hand. He looked like he belonged there with me.

"I don't know how you wear this shit, I can't even say this Timmy Huffenlunger guy's name," he complained as he handed me a beer.

I started laughing, full and honest for the first time…in forever. "Tommy Hilfiger," I corrected him.

"Just wear clothes with fucking normal names. Oh, let me try that," he said, placing his beer down and nodding to the television. Leaning over, he measured my foot with his hands and then compared them to my forearm. "She's full of shit, your arm is way bigger than your foot." Disappointed, he sat down. "Fucking Hollywood, making hookers all glamorous. Hundred bucks and hour my ass."

_More like five hundred_.

He motioned to the hotel Vivian and Edward were walking through. "When was the last time either of us was in a place like that, huh? Like fucking never!"

"This morning," I looked at him and winked. Blinking at me, he paused, sizing up my comment to see if I was lying. "Only, the Renaissance is nicer."

"I fucking hate you. You've got to get me a job," he begged, turning his head toward me, he gave me the pouty lip and big eyes.

"Nope. You're not clean. Besides, thought you didn't want to have someone control you? 'We say who, we say when, we say how much'," I quoted.

"More like James says who, when and how much. Fucking asshole." He tipped the beer toward the television. "I dare you do that the next time you are in that hotel and getting on the elevator."

"No fucking way. I need this job, and those clients."

Vivian and Edward entered a hotel room that rivaled my Edward's and she walked out on the balcony.

"Can you imagine sex out there?" he asked, shaking his head unbelievably.

Yep.

"Been there, done that," I grinned at him.

"I really fucking hate you," he sighed. One slice after the other, we watched and ate. I thought of Peter during the scene where Edward works while Vivian sleeps.

Only, the past two times I had been with Peter, he had spent the entire night in the bed with me, even actually sleeping. I had woken up in a warm, possessive tangle of limbs. When I had asked about work, he just shrugged and said he was taking the night off. Not that I minded, I benefited from his time, even though my body might have protested after the fourth time the night of the party, it was in the most satisfying of ways. He always pushed my boundaries. But after a good night's rest, I had been ready for him when I had felt his cock urgently rubbing against my ass. Skilled hands roamed my body, stroking and caressing in all the right places, my cock ached for-

"Hey," his head shot up. "I screwed the debate team in high school too!" he exclaimed.

"You told me it was the chess team," I argued.

"Oh yeah, you're right. Good memory. Three thousand for a week? I'm worth three grand, don't ya think?" he asked, letting loose a loud burp.

"With skill like that, you're worth way more than three grand," I agreed.

_At least twelve grand._

"Thought so," he grinned. "You ever get paid that kinda money for fucking?"

"I don't get paid directly. The Service does and then I get a paycheck from them, a percentage of what I make."

Laying his head back, he rested it on my shoulder and sighed. "Having steady money must be nice. I mean, just think, this winter, you'll be warm."

"I hadn't thought that far ahead, but yeah, I guess I will." He was quiet for a few moments. "Rile, you can come by when you're cold to warm up if you need to."

Lifting his head, he raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?" I nodded and he leaned in for a quick kiss, his lips meeting mine briefly. It was soft and full of gratitude. "Ya know, people stare at me when I walk down the road too, just like they did her."

"Yeah, because they can't imagine what the smell is," I retorted.

"Fuck you," he quipped. "It's because I'm hot."

"The beer has gone to your head, Rile."

"Holy shit," I sat up straight and grabbed the remote, hitting the rewind button. Vivian was sitting at table while some guy went over place settings with her.

"What?" Riley asked, confused at my excitement.

I wiggled the remote toward the television. "I just did that, I had my driver show me forks and shit."

"Life imitating art, huh?"

"I guess so. Fucking weird though. And it's not a shrimp fork, it's a fish fork. The appetizers aren't always shrimp," I scoffed.

"Like I know what the fuck you're talking about. Give you a steady income and you start talking like you know shit." I lifted my shoulders, pushing his head off it, but he put it right back, leaning his weight into me. "Why the hell did you even have to know that shit?"

"I had to go to this function thing as a client's date. Lots of fancy food, rich people."

"Did they know you were a whore?"

I shook my head. "Nope, they had no idea. I was in a tux and everything."

"Do you think I'd clean up good?"

"Yeah, I do." He lifted his head and looked at me expectantly, so I continued. "Fuck, you know you're hot, even smelly and dirty. If you got a haircut, showered regularly, wore clean cloths. I bet you'd look great in Armani."

"Is he a good fuck?"

Laughing, I reached over and ran a hand through his hair. "He's a clothing designer, not a client."

"Designer? Like Huffenlunger?"

"Well, sort of, yeah." Rile shifted, laying down on his side he put his head on my lap and stretched out on the couch. I rested my hand on his shoulder, my fingers moving over the soft cotton of his shirt.

"How is it that you know designers with fucked up names but not 'Pretty Woman'?"

"Priorities. Knowing the clothes is part of my job now. I have to dress the part."

"Ever been treated like shit in one of those fancy designer stores?" he asked through a yawn.

"Nah. The first time I went, Tanya went with me, showed me what to get, had them tailored and shit. Now I order most of it online. It's easier."

"Ya know, those business guys aren't any different than hookers. It's all negotiating, just with more money."

_Negotiating and blackmail._

"Ever been to one of those things?" he asked, pointing to the horses in the movie.

"Nope. But I've been with a guy hung like a horse," I laughed.

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it," I agreed. "Hey, that little guy looks like Mr. Jones."

"Who's that?" he turned his head toward and looked up at me.

"This weird client I have. Likes to dress me up in shit. A kilt, toga…"

His brown eyes widened. "Fuck, I take it back, I don't want your job."

Shrugging, I pushed his hair back off his face. "Gotta take the good with bad. There are some fucked up clients, just like on the streets, only with more money. There are some weird fetishes out there."

"Fuck, yeah there are. Some dude the other day wanted to fuck me, right? So I said, sure no problem, fifty bucks. He gives me the money but then says that he wants to fuck on the roof of his car. The fucking roof! So, there I was, bent over his windshield as he pounded my ass. Thought the glass was going to shatter, cut my cock right off. Fucking weirdos."

"That must have been quite the sight for those walking by."

"We were in an alley, asshole." He slapped my thigh with his hand.

"See, drug dealers are fucking bad news," I commented when Kit's pimp came on.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just hard, Jas. Really fucking hard. The life is hard, the drugs are easy,"

"I know, Rile."

In the movie, Kit showed up to Vivian's hotel and asked about Edward. Vivian tried to deny her feelings, but of course, Kit saw right though her lie. I thought back to the night before with Peter, and wondered, had he been like Kit? Had he been able to see something between Edward and I at the party that no one else had?

"Is he going to ask her to stay after the week is over?" I asked Riley, ignoring the way his head felt against my stomach every time he moved.

"I'm not going to ruin it for you, you just have to watch," he teased. I felt him yawn and he stretched, the tee shirt riding up to expose the skin of his abdomen. "Ya know, I've been on the streets what, three, four years? I never once saw a fucking hooker look like she does."

Laughing, I nodded. "Well, that Marissa girl was kinda hot."

"Yeah, in a Norman Bates Psycho kind of way."

"Who?"

"Forget it. My point is that she was totally crazy. Remember the blade she pulled on Shelley? Damn I thought she was going to take that bitch down. All over what, five bucks? Crazy bitches."

If had ever questioned my relationship with Riley, and what it meant, I knew right then why I kept him in my life.

It was simple really.

He knew me.

He knew the worst parts about me, and it didn't scare him. Not only did he know me, he could relate to me, he understood me in a way that no other ever would.

Even Edward or Peter.

As much as Edward and I…felt something, he would never really understand why I worked the streets, why I was okay with sex for money, what the streets were like. I could tell Edward all the stories I wanted to, but only Riley would be able to relate to them. Fuck, he'd lived through half of the stories with me. There was a bond between us that would only be broken by death.

"Aw, she left him?" I asked as the pull in my chest wavered at their goodbye scene when Edward asks Vivian to stay. Would I accept an offer like that from Edward? If he volunteered to take me off the streets and make me his alone, would I do it? I couldn't see myself pretending to belong in his world, or taking money I didn't earn. It just wasn't who I was.

Not that Edward is any position to offer, considering he wasn't out and he was being blackmailed by a fucking asshole.

"Yep, but it's not over."

"He's going to get her," I sighed.

"Rescues him right back my ass," Riley snorted and yawned again.

"Do you believe in happily ever after?" I asked wistfully. Riley turned in my lap, so he was on his back looking directly up at me.

"What's with all the weird questions lately? What's going on with you?"

"Nothing, just curious."

Keeping a wary eye on me, he shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe for some people that already have shit to be happy about, but people like you and me? Like Vivian said, we live in the real world where shit most definitely does not end happy. Hell, if I make it to thirty without being killed it'll be a miracle, much less a happily ever after. There's no rich guy in a white limo coming to save our asses."

I considered his words, my fingers absently running through his tangled waves. Did people like him and me deserve our happy ever afters? We certainly weren't living a sinless life. Riley was already convinced his ass wasn't getting into heaven, and I wasn't sure there even was one.

Riley reached up and lifted my shirt. Turning his head toward me, he placed a kiss on my abdomen, his tongue staying pressed against me briefly before moving to another spot.

"I can make you happy though," he mumbled against my warmed skin. I leaned my head back, my hands fisting as his tongue darted into my belly button and his fingers edged my shirt up further.

"Fuck," I hissed, my cock twitching under his head. "I can't, Rile," I said, my back arching into his knowing, familiar touch.

"Thought you said you were off today?" He held my shirt up with one hand and reached up to my neck with the other, pulling my chest toward his mouth. Raising his head, he latched onto a nipple.

"I am off."

"Then?" He lapped and flicked his tongue before biting my nipple hard.

"Let's just hang out, okay?" I half begged, attempting to resist.

Releasing my nipple, he looked at me, confused. "Hang out? What the fuck, Jasper?"

"Come one, we'll get more pizza and watch another movie. Your choice, whatever you want," I offered, my body already missing his mouth. Swiftly, he sat up and straddled me.

"What I want is you to fuck me…right now."

Lolling my head back, I ran my hands through my hair as I felt his hips rocking on my thighs. My cock wasn't just twitching anymore, it was hard.

"Don't say shit like that, Rile."

"Like what? Like how much I want your dick in my ass?" He thrust forward for emphasis, his erection brushing against my stomach. Tugging on the hem of my shirt again, he pulled it up to my chest, exposing my nipples again and he leaned forward, capturing one in his mouth. "I'm your whore." His fingers skimmed my sides, tickling them.

My mind told me to reach for his hands, to grab his mouth and pull him off me, to make him stop. What my body did was lean forward so I could pull my shirt completely off, then do the same to his. Once we were shirtless, his mouth explored me more, knowing every line of body, every muscle, every point that drove me crazy with need. And he hit them all, seemingly at once.

"Please," I begged, I think for him to stop. Moving his lips along my jaw, he let his hand fall between us, his fingertips brushing along the top of my cock through my sweatpants. I wished I had put on underwear after my shower…or not as his thumb swiped over the head of my cock.

"Please what? Faster, slower, harder?" he asked lowly as he moved closer so our thinly covered cocks were sliding against each other. I knew Riley, he didn't have underwear on either. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

I tried to open my eyes, I tried to say no, I tried to….

Biting my lip, I nodded. "Gotta stop."

"Not when it feels this good. You know my ass is yours. I need you to make me feel like that, Jasper. Take me, fuck me, own me."

My cock ached, his words enticing it further as he writhed in my lap. While his movements seemed languid and unhurried, I knew he felt otherwise, he was ready for a hard fuck.

He wanted me to make him feel good.

Lifting my head, I opened my eyes to find him licking his lips as he watched me through his lashes. He wasn't making this easy.

"Jesus fucking Christ, I can't," I pleaded as I leaned toward his lips.

"Yeah, ya can. It's what we do, Jasper, we fuck. Come on, I know you want to. Fuck my ass, Blondie, fuck it hard." He resorted to my street name, knowing _that_ person would never say no. Was that who I was anymore? Was I still that blond guy that worked the streets , fucking and sucking in the shadows of alleys?

Yeah, I was. Only the shadows were upscale hotels or houses in the burbs.

"God damn it," I growled as I wrapped my hand around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine. It wasn't the soft, friendly kiss from earlier, it was needy and wanton. Our tongues lashed at each other's, tasting and mingling over and over until we were breathless.

"Fuck me…"

I grabbed his hips, grinding impatiently against him.

"Take me. Make me yours. I can feel you want me," he added, and I nodded. There was no fucking denying it when he was sitting on my erection. "Then make us feel good."

Without waiting for my reply, he stood up and pulled his sweatpants down, kicking them off his feet. I had been right, he wasn't wearing any briefs. Hard, his cock bounced as he moved, fluid already gathering at the slit, as he bent over putting his fingers on the elastic of my pants, his eyes on mine. Slowly, never taking my gaze from his, I lifted my hips and he slid my pants down to my ankles. Standing straight again, he stroked his own cock, letting his head fall back, his curls brushing along his shoulders.

He really was quite beautiful. Sharp features, square jaw and the darkest chocolate eyes I'd ever seen, fucking practically black. Long and lean, his barely-there muscles were taut and lithe. Slim hips, wide shoulders and a beautiful, fuckable ass, it was easy to see why he garnered so much business on the streets, why James wanted to keep his ass owned. If Riley worked for another pimp, James would lose a shitload of money; he was better keeping Riley, even at the cost of his drug habit.

James wouldn't hesitate to fuck Riley up either. Money maker or not, James had no problem sacrificing some money for a lesson learned. And he'd volunteer to be the teacher.

"One last time," I whispered as I imitated his motions with my own, my hand working myself. Reaching his hand toward me, I opened my mouth and took his two fingers inside, swirling my tongue around them, moaning as I tasted salt and musk. Immediately after removing them, he lifted one foot to the edge of the couch and plunged a finger into his ass to ready himself.

"Oh, fuck," I groaned, my eyes watching one hand stroke his cock while the other pumped his fingers in and out of his ass. "Shit, Rile, so fucking hot."

On my cock, my hand moved rapidly, the stirring low in my abdomen as I greedily wanted more of everything…watching him, tasting him, fucking him.

"You can't resist this," he assumed, lifting his head to look at me. "So tight for you, fill me up, slut."

I dragged my eyes from his cock to his face and gave him a wicked grin. Motioning to the desk, I instructed, "Top left drawer."

He practically ran to it, yanking the drawer open, he pulled out a condom and lube and came back. Kneeling, he tugged my sweatpants off the rest of the way and then pulled my knees apart, moving between them. Before putting the condom on, he took my hand off and replaced it with his mouth.

I was fucking good at giving head, Riley was fucking amazing. Physically, he did everything perfect. Instantly, I was deep in his warm throat and he swallowed, deliberately moaning around me.

"Get on, whore," I demanded, grabbing his head and pulling his mouth from me. "Not going to last long if you keep doing that."

With a victorious smile, he wasted no time getting the condom open and onto my cock. Popping the lube, he drizzled it onto me and slathered it around with his fingers before using the same fingers to coat his hole. When we were ready, my body insanely craving his, he stood and then straddled my thighs. Gripping my cock, I held it for him as he slowly lowered his ass onto me. The head of my cock pushed past his tight muscle, eagerly forcing its way into his heat.

Our positioning did not escape me. Closing my eyes, I forced the thought away, instead focusing on Riley and the way he felt around me, the way I made him feel, giving him what he..we, both needed.

"Fuck, yeah," he sighed as he took in every inch of me until he was sitting on my lap, his cock captured between our bodies. Remaining still, letting me fill him as he had requested, he leaned forward and devoured my mouth with his, crushing our lips together savagely, weaving one hand into my hair while the other went to the back of the couch over my shoulder for support. Clawing at his back, my fingers dug into his flesh. I needed him to move, my cock pulsing and aching inside him. Clenching his muscles around me, I emitted a guttural, raw moan.

"Wanna fuck me?" he asked, tearing his lips from mine and licking his way to my ear, nibbling the lobe before moving to my neck where he took the skin into his mouth.

"No marks," I groaned, leaning my head back for him just as he lifted himself on my cock. "Fuck, right there, again."

He repeated his movement so fucking tantalizingly slowly I thought I would explode. I had been teased and edged by Peter, but it was different, he had been fucking me. This…this was Riley on my cock, his ass clamping down around me as he rode me, moving his hips in full circles my cock felt every ridge inside him. Leaning back, he kept one hand in my hair and looked down at us. I followed his eyes, seeing where we met, where his dark, wiry curls blended with my neatly trimmed blond ones, where his cock jutted out, leaving precum on me as he rubbed it against me, where his balls were already tightly drawn up.

When he leaned his back, his Adam's apple popped out and I leaned forward, taking it into my mouth.

Riley and I usually fucked feral and frantic.

But not that time. He was sensuous, erotic and intense. He was going to make it last as long as possible.

And I was going to let him.

"Feel me in you, Rile? Fucking tight, so deep in you," I moved my lips against his neck, working toward his sharp collarbones. "Do you have any idea how fucking hot you are?" I asked him and heard his responding chuckle reverberate though his chest.

Never lifting his hips, he kept up the circular motion, keeping me completely sheathed in him. We must have been like that for at least an hour, constantly forcing ourselves to slow down and make it last. I held on and watched him, my cock deep in his ass as he leisurely rode me, my hands roamed his back, sometimes settling on his hips or in his hair, my lips always in contact with his mouth or neck, seeking anything of him I could reach. My body was driven to the edge and back with his talent, one I knew he had never shared with anyone else. A clear string of precum constantly leaked from him, dripping onto me and I knew he wouldn't be able to hold off much longer. Deep throaty murmurs escaped him as he began moving his hips faster, unable to deny his cock the friction it needed.

"Is this what you wanted, slut?" I asked him as my hand when to his hair to force his mouth back to mine. When his mouth met my lips, I felt him nod. "Shit, you feel so good," I groaned as he shifted his balance and the head of my cock brushed his prostate.

That did it.

He repeated the movement, his body shuddering violently each time my cock tapped him deep inside. His face twisted as he tried to maintain control, keep the slow pace and not give into the demands of his body. After a few more passes across his prostate, he was no longer able to resist and began lifting himself up and down my cock. Aiding him, I put my hands on his hips, my cock fucking throbbing at the need to come.

"Fuck, yes, fuck me, whore. Fuck me," he practically screamed, all the emotions he had to constantly keep contained in the street, he released with me, free to be vocal and mean it.

Growling, I raised my hips off the couch, meeting him thrust for thrust. No more sweet and sexy, it was carnal fucking now, frenzied and vicious, and I was making him mine one last time.

What time we'd used while we had gone slowly, we were making up for. Pounding my cock into him, he rode me with abandon, our bodies slickened with sweat, glistening the afternoon sun. As I sat on the edge of my climax, the coil stirring low in my spine, I pulled him in for a long, slow kiss. Sliding my hand down his chest, I reached for his cock, taking it into my grip. I opened my eyes when I felt his hand covering mine.

He wanted to stroke himself with me.

Resting our foreheads together, we both watched our hands on his cock, his hips has stilled, only slightly thrusting forward into our mutual grip.

"Fuck, Jas," he cried out, and I felt his cock pulse and saw his eyes shut just as the first shot of cum burst from his cock, quickly followed by a several more, all of them warm and thick. Around my cock, his ass tightened and I was pushed. This was it…

"One last time," I whispered, holding his hip with my other hand, I thrust up into him as much as I could, short jerky movements but they worked and my cock exploded forcefully inside him, filling the condom. As he rode out his climax, each wave clenching his ass around me encouraging my own orgasm mercilessly, I grunted desperately. Cupping my face with one hand, he pressed his lips to mine, his tongue entering my mouth, muffling my pleasured cries while I came.

"Holy shit, fuck," he sighed, his breath bathing my face as his hips finally began slow. Our hands still holding him when he smiled, completely relaxed. "That was fucking amazing, you gotta admit."

"It was," I sighed, leaning back against the couch. "I don't know how the fuck you held off so long, that was…wow."

"Think Vivian is as good as we are?" he asked, hissing as he gingerly removed his cock from our hands.

"No one is as good as we are," I laughed. We sat there, his cum settling on us as we kissed and stroked and held, coming down from our mutual highs. He went to move, one last quiver traveling through him and I steadied his hips as he stood on shaky legs. "There's a towel in the bathroom." He nodded and then headed down the hall. I hadn't moved when he returned and wiped down my stomach before slipping my condom off. After tossing it into the empty pizza box, he reached for his sweatpants and pulled them on. I put mine on and then lay on the couch, patting the spot in front of me. Shirtless and grinning he lay down and pressed his back against my bare chest. He handed me the remote and I flipped through the channels until I found a movie.

Turning his head, he reached up and wrapped a hand around my neck, pulling me into a kiss.

"Thank you, Jasper," he whispered as he pulled away and turned back to the television.

I had given him what he needed, to forget his life for a little while.

"Welcome, Rile," I murmured into his hair as my eyes closed. Pressed against me, my arm draped around his middle, Riley feel into a peaceful sleep and I joined him minutes later.

"**~~**"

He walked by my side, close enough so that every now and then our arms would brush. Our strides were evenly paced, and after his nap, he seemed refreshed. We passed stores and restaurants, occasionally Riley's eyes would drift toward the windows of the restaurants as we walked through the scents of their food that flowed from the open doors.

"Ya know," he began, "You should at least buy me dinner after fucking me. It's the polite thing to do," he joked.

Looking ahead, I saw a bar and grill that probably served food Riley would like.

"Deal," I agreed. "Let's go there." I pointed to the sign and headed for it, but he stopped. When I realized he wasn't beside me, I turned. "What's wrong?"

"You serious? Dinner? Out? In a restaurant?"

"Yeah, I am. I don't want you out here all night with nothing but pizza and beer in your stomach."

"Jesus, you sound like my fucking mother. Besides, it's more than I usually have," he chuckled.

I gave him a shrug and we entered the restaurant. After we had woken up, Riley had showered while I washed his clothes. While they dried, Riley lay on the couch with me in a pair of my Calvin Klein briefs and watched a rerun of some show. When his clothes were done, we both got dressed and headed out.

He was going to work and I was going to see James.

The hostess seated us by the windows and we looked at our menus.

"Jesus, this place is fucking expensive," he sighed, shaking his head. Reaching over, I covered his hand with mine.

"Anything you want, get it. Price doesn't matter."

I swear his lip trembled as he heard my words, but then he looked away quickly and swallowed hard. "Thanks, Jas."

"You'd do it for me," I replied, shrugging.

"Yeah, I would. So what are you getting? I can't decide," he changed the subject with the skill of an expert. And I thought I was good at it.

"Definitely the bacon burger with onion rings. Though between the pizza, beer and the burger, I'll have to work out extra at the gym tomorrow."

He rolled his eyes. "Me too. Though my exercise consists of deep knee bends and running from the cops," he laughed, a sparkle back in his eyes. After another minute, he decided. "I'm going to have the same thing. Can I get a Coke too?"

"Fuck, of course you can."

The waiter came and took our orders. I thought Riley was going to drop to his knees and fucking suck him off right there. He was definitely cute, and he had Riley all worked up.

The boy was never satisfied.

"Wipe the drool, Rile," I said as his eyes were trained on the waiter as he walked away.

"Did you see that ass?"

I glanced over my shoulder toward the waiter. "Yeah, not bad."

"Pfft, not bad. Looks like you could fucking bounce a quarter off it."

Right on cue, the hot waiter returned with our sodas and then gave Riley and extra wide smile before retreating to the kitchen.

"Oh yeah, he wants me," he grinned.

"And for fifty bucks, he can have you," I laughed.

"I'd give him a discount."

We watched the people walk by outside, Riley commenting on just about everything from clothes to haircuts. He'd been so carefree since he had stepped into my apartment, but as it got closer to going back to the streets, I saw that easy feeling slipping out of his grasp.

"We've known each other what, a little more than two years now? I think this is the first time we've ever gone out to eat together," he said as he took a sip of soda.

"I think you're right. Well that's actually inside the restaurant anyway and not in the dumpsters behind it."

Our food arrived, the waiter shamelessly flirting with Riley for a better tip. Riley was fucking good, he could flirt, banter, and seduce like no one I'd ever seen. Having been victim to his skills many, many times, I knew anyone that began talking to him was going to be drawn in.

There was only one thing that dimmed his personality, made him nothing more than a piece of ass people took advantage of…drugs.

Which I knew, with a sad sigh, that as soon as he was on the streets alone later, would be flowing through his system, blinding and numbing him to the dangers he was constantly in. It wasn't an easy life, I knew that as much as anyone, but Rile wasn't going to be able to get out if he wasn't clean. As long as the meth or whatever the fuck he was using then, had its hold on him, there was nothing I could do except give him the occasional meal and place to sleep.

Maybe someday.

"Oh my God," he exclaimed as he took his first bite, "this is so fucking good."

"Keep it down," I reminded him, smiling apologetically at the family with small children near us. He just grinned and ate his burger like he had eaten my pizza. I was tempted to warn him about eating too fast, but stopped myself. I really was starting to act like his mother.

Though I don't think his mother ever fucked him on her couch.

We ate and talked, mostly compared client/john stories, who had the most fucked up fetishes and biggest dicks. Conversations I was pretty sure I'd never have with Edward.

After we were done, the waiter cleared our table and we ordered a few more sodas, I know Riley was trying to delay returning to the streets as long as possible.

And I didn't blame him.

I wasn't exactly looking forward to seeing James again.

As he sipped his soda slowly, he looked out the window. "You're going to see James, aren't you? Give him some more money?"

I hadn't told him why I was going with him, I let him think I had places to go, but I should have known he'd know better. Nodding, I set my drink down and stared at him.

His clean hair, soft and shiny, curled at his shoulders, his bright eyes moved constantly over the people and traffic outside, always sizing everything and everyone up – who was a possible client and who was dangerous- a side effect of living on the streets. While he seemed relaxed, his body still sated from earlier, I knew he was tense inside. We all got that way before a night of selling ourselves on the streets.

You never knew when it would be your last.

"Ready to go?" I asked as I tucked the money for the bill into the leather holder, leaving the waiter a healthy tip for the attention he had shown Riley. Slowly, Riley turned toward me and nodded, his eyes having lost some of their gleam from earlier, the boy that had showed up at my apartment singing and dancing had his game face back on.

He stood up and gave the waiter one last glance before silently turning and heading out to where he belonged. Quietly we walked toward his side of town, past the apartment buildings and offices until we hit the broken down abandoned buildings and alleyways.

His home.

"Do you know where he is tonight?" I asked him as he walked with his head up, his eyes scanning around us, just as mine were.

Old habits die hard.

"Yeah, I'm bringing you to him now."

"No, I'll see him alone, just tell me where he is," I snapped. The last thing I needed was James to fucking say something to Riley about the money. As far as Riley knew, I was paying it back to save my ass, not his.

"Fuck you, Jasper. I think I can handle the asshole. He's my fucking pimp after all, I deal with him on a fucking daily basis so don't give me that macho shit," he snarled and I just nodded. "Turn left here," he said, suddenly calmer.

Three blocks later, we were in Riley's district, passing a few familiar faces on the corners.

"Hey, Blondie, you coming back?" I heard someone ask as we walked by.

I shook my head, yelling back over my shoulder. "No fucking way."

"Hey, did you hear about Sully?"

"No."

"Got fucked up by a gang. Some guy picked him up in this van and drove him to that lot by the empty building at dock four. They moved to the back of the van where the seats and shit were gone but just as they began to go at it, these four or five guys opened the door from the outside. They tied Sully up, gagged him, fucked him for hours, over and over again, then beat the shit out of him. I guess it was some sort of initiation because supposedly they weren't gay but had to fuck a guy to get into the gang. They were even rated by each other on their performance."

"That is some seriously fucked up shit. Sully okay?"

Riley lifted his thin shoulders. "He won't be fucking for awhile that's for sure. Lost a few teeth, broken ribs. Ricky took care of him. I think he's still got him at the hospital."

The hospital was the abandoned building on the docks where Ricky frequented. We all called it that because if you needed medical help, you could find him there and he'd fix you up as best he could. It was where they had brought me after I'd been stabbed. The hospital held fond memories for me, it was where Riley and I had first fucked, where I discovered how much different topping was, being in control, having that power.

"There he is," Riley said, motioning with his head ahead of us.

Following his eyes, I saw James, two of his hookers around him, one begging him for more, the other handing him money. He was unshaven, his long blond hair was down and his eyes were hard and cold.

"Rile, really, why don-"

"Shut the fuck up," he demanded and I did.

"Well, if it isn't Tweedledee and Tweedledum," James smirked and pushed himself off the wall as Riley and I approached. I had no idea what he was referencing, but when I saw Riley's body stiffen and his eyes narrow, I assumed it was an insult.

"Fucking asshole," Riley murmured under his breath. Reflexively, my hand skimmed over my jeans pocket, assuring myself the blade was in there. There were many witnesses, but if I needed to defend myself, I would.

"What brings you boys out here on this fine evening, and together even?" James asked, inhaling deeply on his cigarette. "You slumming, Blondie?"

"Fuck off, James," Riley replied before I could answer. James eyed Riley's clean shaven and freshly showered appearance and then glanced over at me, his eyes darting back and forth between us.

"Interesting," he commented with a smug smile. "Are you ready to work?" he asked Riley as he dug into his pocket. "I've heard the cops are doing a sting on the south side, so stay nearby. I'm not bailing your scrawny ass out of jail again."

Riley nodded and then looked up at me sadly, his eyes empty of the life I witnessed all afternoon, the life I knew he had in him. Holding out his hand in front of James, he waited, his eyes staring at the pavement.

"There's my good boy," James snickered, placing a small package in Riley's palm. Frustrated, I watched Riley's fingers greedily curl around the package before he slipped it into his pocket. "Try to get at least two hundred tonight, I don't care how fucked up you are, just get me the money."

Two hundred was at least four fucks, or a shitload of blow jobs.

James reached up and fingered Riley's clean hair. "Now that you're all prettied up, two hundred should be pretty fucking easy."

Riley nodded, his head still down he glanced up at me through his eyelashes. I tried to hide the disappointment in my eyes but I know he saw it, and he looked away.

"Go," James said coldly.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked Riley before gripping his upper arm and practically dragging him down the sidewalk until we were out of earshot from James, though he could still see us. Using Riley's body to shield my movements, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a wad of cash, unfolding several twenties. Crushing a little over two hundred dollars into his hand, I forced his eyes up to mine. "Don't argue, just take it. He's going to get it either way, and this way you get an easier night."

His hardened face softened as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Rile, the shit in your pocket, you don't need it. I know you think you do, but you don't." He lowered his head and nodded, but I knew he was thinking I was full of shit, that he did need it to drown out his reality, to let him get the high he couldn't reach any other way.

Just as I was about to let his hand go, to let him go, he wrapped his arms tightly around my neck. I wanted to push him away but it was too late, James had already seen the way Riley pressed himself to me.

"Thanks for everything, Jasper," Riley whispered in my ears. "I'm sorry," he apologized, referring to the drugs. Nodding, I buried my face in his hair and inhaled its clean scent, keeping my eyes on James the entire time.

"Be safe, Riley," I murmured quietly. He nodded and then pulled back. Leaning in, he tilted his head and kissed me softly on the lips. I shouldn't have, it was dangerous, but I closed my eyes and just reveling in his lingering touch. Breaking the kiss, he gave me one last trademark grin.

"See ya later, Blondie," he said before he turned and headed down the sidewalk. Sighing, I watched him go for a minute before walking back toward James.

He shook his head as I approached and when I saw the knowing look in his eyes, I knew I was fucked. He'd seen it, Riley's hug and kiss had confirmed what he had only suspected for years, and now he had more leverage than before.

Before he said the words, I braced myself, knowing what was coming.

"The price just went up to thirty grand," he sneered with a smug smile, and my heart fell.

My good day had gone to shit.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Peeks out from behind hands…

My profile has been updated with a new multi-chapter J/E slash called "If on a Winter's Night." It's a wee bit angsty!

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	16. Apocalypse Now

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Annnd we're back, well the boys are back (oh great, now I'll be singing that Thin Lizzy song all day). Poor Dannie went through hell to get this chapter out one time, even resorting to write it long hand then typing it on her PHONE in order to email it to me so I could add my part, edit and be able to post this weekend. Fist bump to Dannie!

Yeah, I admit, I giggled when I chose the chapter title. You guys think Jasper can't catch a break? Read on…someone's world is about to implode.

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

"It's for your mother, of course it's necessary."

"No, Dad, it's a hassle." I released an exasperated, dramatic sigh and leaned back into the chair. It was an expensive chair, custom-made leather and stitching and yet, I had never felt more uncomfortable. I was like an animal being back into a corner with a predator stalking me.

Only the predator wasn't an animal.

It was my father.

We had been arguing for the previous half hour about the same thing. My mother insisted that I invite Kate to their home for a family dinner. "She's a nice girl," she had said, but what she had really meant was, "Your pairing would be beneficial for both our family and hers."

Kate would look good on my arm at social functions. Never mind the fact that she was positively dreadful in every aspect outside of her appearance, as long as she brought in good publicity, I should be willing to "make it work".

Inside, I had wanted to scream that it didn't matter what was best for the company, I didn't care what they wanted me to do because the only person that I wanted with me and near me was Jasper, and Kate, or any woman on the planet, could ever make me feel the things he did.

Of course, I couldn't do that. I couldn't show up to my parents with Jasper. How would I explain him, introduce him? _"Hey, Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Jasper from Seattle. His living? Oh, um, well, he worked the streets for a few years but now he's a highly paid escort servicing anyone that can afford him. _

Yeah, that would go over really well.

And I couldn't ever bring him to business functions.

Although someone had been daring enough to show up with him at a business event, even proudly display him with kisses and hand holding.

Suddenly, I felt sicker than I had a few minutes earlier.

When I spoke again, I couldn't stop a bit of my anger from seeping into my words. "This is ridiculous. I don't have time for this shit."

My father looked taken aback at first and I waited for his usual reprimand for my language, but instead, a curious look came across his face and he sat back in his office chair, casually crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why are you so against this, Edward?"

Silently, I cursed myself for allowing my emotions to take over, letting my practiced facade slip, and I swallowed hard, reigning in my anger while I formulated a lie.

"I'm worn thin, dad. I'm trying to stay on top of this merger and keep an eye on Spencer-"

"Spencer was your idea," he reminded me with a well-executed arched brow.

"And it was a good one," I replied quickly, but he's still young and new and needs close supervision. In the long run, it will pay off, but right now, he's a lot of work."

Hiding Jasper from him and fending off his constant advances were definitely a lot of work.

Patiently my father waited for me to continue. "Not to mention how stressful the traveling is. Having to entertain someone who is so very high maintenance is-"

I wasn't sure if I was referring to Kate or Spencer.

"Exhausting?" he finished for me with a chuckle.

_He had no fucking idea._

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief when I realized he had believed me.

"Believe me, son, I know all about high maintenance women. As a matter of fact, if I don't talk you into this, I'll have a one high maintenance woman highly upset with me. So, please, for me, invite Kate to dinner."

I bit back my comment about how everything I did was for him and this was just another unpleasant thing to add to the list.

Resigned, I nodded. "Fine. What time are we supposed to be there?"

With a triumphant smile, he said, "Dinner will be served at seven."

Nodding, I stood and headed toward the door, ready to get back to my office where I could be alone to deal with the blow I had been dealt.

"Leaving already?"

With a slight glare, I looked back over shoulder. "Yes. It appears I have an invitation to deliver."

My father's stifled laugh was the last thing I heard before I not so quietly closed his office door.

"Get Kate Mills on the phone for me, please, Bella," I requested as I walked past her desk and into my office, choosing to ignore the look of 'what the hell are you calling her for?' that was written on her face.

"Yes, sir," she replied hesitantly as she picked up the phone.

Closing my office door, I slumped back against it, wincing when I hit it a bit too hard. Taking several deep breaths, I tried to calm myself, fighting the panic attack that I felt clawing at my already frayed nerves. My office phone rang and I growled, letting out some of my frustration before walking over to my desk and hitting the button for speakerphone.

"Hello?"

Her sugary sweet voice blared through the speaker. "Edward, hi! I'm so happy you called."

Rolling my eyes, I replied in my smoothest voice, "It's good to talk to you. Listen, I hate to be so informal about this but you know how busy I am. I was wondering if you'd like to join me for dinner at my parent's house tomorrow night?"

"Oh my..." she breathed, clearly caught off guard by the request. Recovering quickly, she said, "Absolutely. I would love too."

"Fantastic. I'll pick you up around six." I worked desperately to not sound as pathetic as I felt.

"I can't wait," she purred. "Goodbye, handsome."

I didn't even reply, I just hit the button and fell back into my chair, all but throwing a tantrum like a child. I hated feeling so...stuck.

Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, when I was at my wits end and ready to strike, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

_Can you talk later?_

Smiling widely, I quickly text back.

_Yes, please. I miss you._

_I miss you too, baby. Around 8?_

His pet name for me always made my heart flutter a tiny bit.

_That's perfect. I'll call you then. _

In a matter of a few text messages, my mood had improved considerably. He had single handedly made my day a shitload brighter.

Jasper had a way of doing that.

"*~~~~~~*"

After what had seemed like the longest day of my existence, it was finally time to go home and I only had an hour before I was supposed to call Jasper. Of course, that made my ride home feel more like a cross country trip.

"Thank you, Felix," I said quickly to the driver as soon as he pulled the car in front of my building. "Have a good night."

I barely heard his 'You too, sir' before I was shutting in the door and all but running inside. Trying really fucking hard to not run through the lobby to the elevators, I purposely slowed my pace, making sure I acknowledged the doorman and the boy that held the elevator doors for me. Practically bouncing the entire ride to the penthouse level, I'm sure I garnered some strange looks. When the doors dinged opened, I was so eager to exit, I almost ran into them.

Once in the door, I set my briefcase down, toed off my shoes, and took off my suit jacket, tossing it over the back of the chair near my door. I tossed my phone on my bed before I stepped into my master bathroom. Eager to wash the remnants of the day away, my pants were already unbuckled and I was untucking my shirt as I started the water for my shower. As tempting as it was to stand indefinitely under the hot spray of water, I found myself rushing, not wanting to miss his call. In less than ten minutes, I had finished my shower and dried off. I was stepping into my black silk sleep pants when I heard my cell phone ring.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly, walking into my closet to grab a tee shirt.

"Getting started without me?" His beautiful chuckle warmed me even as his words made me blush.

"I just got out of the shower," I laughed.

"Mmm...wet Edward. My favorite."

Blushing even harder, I pulled the phone away from my ear just long enough to slip into a grey cotton shirt.

"Where'd ya go, baby?" I heard as soon as I had the phone back to my ear.

"Sorry, I was putting on a shirt." I told him as I walked to my bedroom and pulled back the covers.

I could practically hear the pout in his voice. "I take back my previous statement. Naked Edward is my favorite. I like being able to see all the goods."

"I'll remember that for next time," I promised.

My cock hardened at his openness, his lack of a verbal filter and his confidence. That was one of my favorite things about Jasper; he always said what he was thinking, no matter how vulgar or crass it was.

He had told me about his past, or at least part of it, and my initial reaction had been one of confusion and a bit of anger. How someone like him could have ended up selling his body on the streets. While he denied being forced into it, someone had unintentionally put him there. Someone's actions in his past had given no choice but to be homeless and use sex as a survival skill.

But there was another part of his selling his body that had caused a different reaction from me.

A sexual one.

As sick as it made me, I had actually found myself getting aroused when Jasper had told me about his first time with a client. It wasn't really the act so much as the freedom he had, the ability to just give a blowjob to a stranger in a car on a random street without fear of losing everything or being a disappointment simple because he could.

The ability to just... be. Be himself, be gay, be a hooker.

Not that I could ever have sucked off some guy in a car, or get bent over in an alleyway and be fucked, or drop to my knees and swallow a man whole on a crowded street, but to be able to_ if_ I wanted to? That was the real turn on. Jasper's seductive, honey voice as he told me the story had also helped. He recalled it rather clinically, which is probably how he looked back on most of his work. They were all just another blowjob or fuck to him.

All except for me.

I hoped.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned at my silence.

Shaking my head slightly to clear the thoughts, I quickly reassured him. "Yes. I've just had a long, very tiring day." Settling down on my bed, I lay back against the pillows and sighed. "And…and I miss you."

"I miss you too. If you are too tired, baby, we can-"

I quickly cut him off. "No way in hell, love. I've waited for this phone call all day."

"Okay, then, um…" he chuckled. "Want to try out our webcams?" he suggested excitedly.

A nervous flutter appeared in my stomach even as I shared his excitement. "Sure," I paused before asking, "are you off tonight?"

There was a short sigh, and I was certain he was debating on telling me the truth or not.

"I am right now," was his cryptic reply before I heard him shuffling around. "Okay, what's your screen name?"

After jotting it down, he asked me to hang up and meet him online in ten minutes so I could set up my camera. I'd had ordered one online the previous week, but I hadn't had time to set it up yet. I went to my desk and grabbed my laptop, carrying it to my bed and booting it up before reading the webcam installation instructions. Once I had it attached to the top of my computer, I checked the resolution, smiling proudly when a streaming picture of myself appeared on the screen. I placed my laptop on my knees and quickly logged in to my messenger. Immediately, a message box appeared.

_Jasperdenaliescorts: Hello there, gorgeous._

_eacullencullenpharmacueticals: Hi. :)_

_Jasperdenaliescorts: is requesting video chat with you_

I clicked accept. In a few short seconds, his beautiful, smiling face was on my computer and I couldn't contain my joy at seeing him.

"Hey, baby," he sighed happily, skimming his fingers over his screen as if he was caressing my face.

And I wished so much that he could.

"Hey, love," I whispered.

His blond curls, looking slightly damp like he had just showered, were hanging loosely around his face and even though he looked tired, reasons for which I refused to think of, his blue eyes still shone with happiness and excitement as my favorite dimpled grin appeared on his face. It looked like he was sitting at a desk because I could only see from his mid-chest up.

"This is much better than a phone call," he grinned. "How fucking cool are these things?"

Smiling, I nodded. "Yes, it definitely is. Can I ask you a question?"

"Course."

"How did you know how to use these?"

It seemed a legitimate question. Jasper was unique, his knowledge of all things sex was limitless, but he was clueless on everyday things. Where had he learned to use a computer on the streets?

"The computer or webcam?"

"Both."

He shrugged. "When Tanya gave it to me, she asked me a few questions about it. When I had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, she sent over one of her tech guys. He hooked me up, ran me threw the basics, and from there I Googled…a fucking lot."

"She wants to make sure you're prepared for everything, huh?"

"All part of the job," he sighed. "Enough of that, on to the fun stuff. Are you in bed?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows, and I nodded again. "Fuck," he murmured, biting his lip as his eyes rolled back slightly.

"What?" I asked, shifting my weight nervously.

Licking his full lips, he smirked. "Just thinking of all the things I could do to you in that bed if I were there."

Just the thought of it made my stomach clench pleasurably, and my cock immediately reacted to his words, twitching a bit in my pants even as my mind raced with all the reasons as to why that could never happen.

"Show me your room," he requested suddenly, practically bouncing in his seat.

"Um...really?" I questioned, confused as to why he would want to see it.

"Yes, really," he chuckled. "I want to see how you live."

I picked my laptop up and spun it around slowly, showing him my simple bedroom; the dressing area in the corner, the walk in closet, the door to the master bathroom and the sliding glass door onto the deck, and of course, the bed I was sitting on. Once I'd made a full circle, I placed the computer back in my lap and my brow furrowed at the look on his face.

Jaw slack, his blue eyes were wide and bright with awe.

"What?" I questioned.

"That's your fucking _bedroom_? You live alone, don't you?" His voice was incredulous and I thought I heard a hint of doubt seep into his last question.

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"Because that room is fucking huge! Why do you even have a bed that big? That TV should be on display at a store, not sitting in front of a place meant for sleeping or fucking. Where did you get that?"

Chuckling, I replied, "Honestly, love, I didn't request anything in this room. My interior decorator had all of this setup. It was like this when I moved in."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Interior decorator?"

"My mother likes to remodel quite often so when I moved out, she had Marcia in here before I could even look at the place."

Shaking his head, his blonde curls fanned out around his face. "I can't even imagine..." he muttered.

My chest ached when I realized how terrible it must have sounded; flaunting my spoils when he had lived in conditions that they made Lifetime movies about. He had said he couldn't imagine living the way I had, but I felt the same way about him. My mind couldn't even begin to conjure up the things he must have been through.

"Don't do that," he whispered with a concerned look on his face.

Always so observant.

"I...it wasn't-"

"I know that, baby. We just had different upbringings, that's all."

It felt like so much more than that.

"Will you show me your place?" I asked hopefully.

"Baby, you're going to see it in person soon enough." He seemed hesitant.

I looked down at my lap and then strategically lifted my eyes to watch him through my lashes. "Please."

"Aw, fuck, the eye thing is not fair, baby," he complained but shifted his weight to reach for the laptop. "Okay, it was pretty much like this when I moved in."

The camera panned around his room. He was definitely sitting at a desk, which appeared to be on a wall between two large windows. Behind him was a leather couch and glass coffee table and on a stand sat a television, although it was considerably smaller than mine. The room was spacious, plain, a simple elegance to it but it lacked the personality I knew Jasper had. There was nothing that said 'home' to me, for Jasper it appeared to be nothing more than a place to eat and sleep.

Regardless, he was safe there.

Putting the laptop down, he adjusted it to get himself back in view.

"Like I said, probably not what you're used to," he shrugged, "but I like it."

"It's great, very large."

"Oh my God, it's huge. I've got way too much room for one person."

I decided to turn the conversation and hoped he was ready to follow.

"That couch looks like it could use some breaking in, perhaps we could take care of that when I come over?"

His eyes widened briefly, and a split second, he looked like he was going to say something, but then changed his mind. With a groan, he lifted his arms above his head and stretched, leaning back in his chair as he worked the kinks out of his muscles. Instinctively, I licked my lips when his tee shirt rode up a little, exposing a sliver of his tanned, muscular abdomen to me, my mouth watering at the sight of it.

I remembered what that skin tasted like, how smooth it felt under my tongue and the way he would shiver when I grazed it with my teeth. The want that coursed through me was strong enough to take my breath away and I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from telling him, admitting to him how desperately I wanted and needed him.

"Edward?" His amused voice brought me out of my thoughts.

My eyes snapped to his briefly before my gaze fell to my lap, a deep blush coloring my cheeks when I saw his smirk, embarrassed that he had caught me all but drooling over him.

"What's that blush for, baby?" he teased.

"You're just so... sexy," I mumbled, feeling shier than I had in a long while. I knew my vulnerability was irrational, but when he chuckled lightly at my embarrassment, I wanted to make myself smaller.

"Mmm... I love that you enjoy my body."

To emphasize his point, he quickly stripped his shirt over his head dropped it to the floor, skimming his hands up and across his toned abs and chest. Groaning, I palmed my cock through my pajama pants, but the silk material sliding over my aching erection was not nearly enough friction to relieve the growing ache. I pushed harder when he pinched his nipple and sighed, his head lolling back a bit in pleasure.

"Fuck," I whispered.

His eyes snapped to mine and the hunger I saw in them made my stomach twist in anticipation, excited and nervous about where our conversation was headed. I didn't posses the sexual confidence and grace that he did. Hell, just a word or look from him were enough to make my face flush, and no matter how many times he reassured me, I had a hard time believing I affected him in the same way. However, in person, he had the ability to wash away all of my insecurities and awkwardness with his secure touch and whispered words, but over a webcam, I felt vulnerable. There was something about the camera, the limited connection it provided me us made me feel more open, like I was the only thing he could focus on and all of my insecurities were laid out for him to see. It was stupid, I knew, I was in my own home, the place where I should feel the most comfortable, but without his presence, it was beginning to feel less and less like a home.

"I want to see you, too, baby. Please?"

Unable to deny him anything, I pulled my tee shirt over my head and sat it next to me on the bed, a soft smile forming on my face when I saw his blue eyes darken with want. He looked at me expectantly and I gulped.

"I'll show you mine..." He winked.

With stuttering breath, I sat the laptop in between my spread legs and lifted my hips, sliding my silk sleep pants down to my thighs. My hard cock slapped against my stomach, throbbing with the movement and I moaned softly.

"So fucking gorgeous," he murmured almost absently, staring directly at my cock.

"Your turn," I instructed, forcing my hand to not touch my aching erection. With a grin, he stood, putting his hips right at camera level. After he took a step back so I could see him more of him, he unbuttoned his jeans and slowly lowered the zipper before opening the flaps enough so I could see his briefs and the outline of his cock. I saw him slide a hand down his chest and slip under the waistband of his underwear. I couldn't see his face, but I heard the loud moan he released.

He was putting on a show for me.

"More," I gulped. One hand rubbed his abdomen while the other began to stroke himself. "Yeah, touch yourself," I instructed bravely, not even caring about the deep blush I felt heating my cheeks. He kept his hand still and thrust his hips into his fist, letting out a few sexy sounds as he did so.

"So hard for you," he said off screen. With a wiggle of his hips, his loose jeans slipped over his hips and down his legs until he was able to step out of them, leaving him in a pair of tight, black briefs that left nothing to the imagination. Had I been there in person, I could have seen every vein through the tight material.

"More," I repeated. He pulled his hand out from his briefs, the waistband snapping against his skin before he unhurriedly began to slide them down his thighs, seductively moving his hips. His movements were so fluid, so graceful, even the way his cock bobbed took my breath away. He acted the part but I don't think he really any idea how beautiful he was. Once his underwear were all the way off, he sat back down and my view was once again limited to his chest and face. When he saw my pout, he laughed and pushed himself away from his desk, exposing the lower half of his body, including his thick erection, which he immediately took hold of and stroked slowly.

Subconsciously, my hand drifted down as I watched him, my fingers dancing over the head of my own swollen cock, almost purple with need. The cool breeze from my ceiling fan washed over my suddenly overheated skin and I shivered, goose bumps pebbling my flesh as I wrapped my hand around my shaft.

"Yeah, fuck," he growled. "God, I wish I was there. I want to feel you in my throat right now."

Instinctively, my hand moved faster over my cock, his sexy words igniting a flame deep within my stomach that spread upward, warming my entire body even further. I knew I wouldn't last long, not with him watching me like I was his own personal porn show and encouraging me with dirty words. I watched him closely, learning his technique of what made him feel good when he was pleasuring himself, the way he palmed the head of cock as he fondled his balls, then he'd give his cock four or five good tugs before doing it again. He looked so fucking beautiful, his chest heaving, his eyes unfocused and lust-filled, his hands stroking the cock I yearned for deep inside me.

"I'd love to bend you over this desk I'm sitting at," he panted. "Fuck you hard until you sprayed all over the wood."

"Oh my God," I moaned, my body aching and feeling suddenly empty. Desperately, I wanted him in me, filling me, claiming and owning my body. My balls tightened and drew up toward my body, my cock twitching in my hand.

"You look so fucking hot. Want you so bad right now, love. Wish you...were here," I stammered with labored breaths. Before I could reconsider, I pulled my legs up toward my chest and sucked two fingers into my mouth.

"Oh fuck...yeah," he praised when he realized what I was planning to do. Bringing them down to my hole, I circled the tight entrance a few times, teasing myself, before dipping one finger in. Whimpering with want, I imagined it was Jasper finger fucking me as I filled myself as much as possible, pumping my finger in and out smoothly.

"Yeah, fuck yourself, baby," he encouraged through heavy breaths, the rapture in his voice enticing me to emit small moans. It wasn't the same as when he touched me, not even close, but being able to see and hear him would have to do.

"Feel so good, love," I grunted as I added the second finger, pushing deeper to increase the pleasurable burn. When the tip of one of my fingers brushed over my prostate, my hips reflexively pushed into my hand, wanting the action repeated. "Oh God," I groaned. "Fuck me, Jasper." Conflicted on what I desired more, my hips thrust into my own fist before pressing my fingers in deeper.

"One day, I want to watch you...play with a toy. One...one day," he gasped, "one day I want to see you stretch yourself on a fake cock, riding it hard and deep while I watch...fuck, I'm going to come just thinking about it, baby. So fucking hot."

His head tilted to the side a bit, his blond waves falling across his face as his bottom lip stayed trapped between in teeth in a tight grip, his hand flying furiously over his cock. A deep blush spread from his chest up his throat and to his cheeks as he gulped for air, his heavy lidded eyes never leaving the hand on my cock or the fingers in my ass.

"Wanna fuck that ass, want it to be my dick in there," he claimed possessively.

While my body was clinging to the edge, chasing the release while simultaneously holding it off, I was only seconds away from shattering, from letting the orgasm consume me.

Grimacing beautifully, he moaned, "I'm so fucking close, Edward. Can't...can't hold back much longer."

The familiar tingling in my abdomen spread through my groin when I forced a third finger into my entrance, one more swipe across my gland and a hard stroke of my cock and I shook, crying out, "I'm coming, love. Oh, God...Jasper…need you."

Clenching my eyes shut, I felt the first powerful wave of my orgasm hit my chest and stomach, followed by a second and third spurt before the rest dribbled down my hand as my cock pulsed in my fist. My ass tightened around my fingers, the muscle spasms gripping them while I rode out my climax. I pried my eyes open just in time to see Jasper's eyes roll back in his head and his jaw tighten before I snapped my eyes to his cock to watch it twitch and erupt with his cum, shooting long streams onto his chest.

"Jesus, fuck...Edward, baby," he growled as the last of orgasm rocked his body, his hips still rolling forward languidly into his hold. Struggling for breath, I sank back into the pillows and my legs went limp as I pulled my fingers out, shuddering as the post coital bliss settled into my drained body.

"That was-"

"Fucking amazing," he finished for me, looking completely lifeless as he relaxed in his chair and released his cock. I watched it fall against him, nestled in his trimmed curls, sated and slick with cum. We were silent for a few moments, just staring at each other as we came down together and I wished so much to hold him, to be able to bury my face in the bend of his neck as his long fingers skimmed down my back, feel his chest rise with his even breaths, feel his breath on my face.

"I can't wait to be with you again," I admitted. Smiling sadly, he leaned forward and used his clean hand to skim the screen with his fingers once again. I swear I felt his tender caress along my heated skin.

"Me too, baby." We talked for a few more minutes about nothing and everything, enjoying being together in the only way we could right then before he sighed heavily. "I guess I need to go. Someone made me come all over myself."

Laughing, feeling light for the first time since I'd last been with him, I agreed. "Alright, love."

"Same time tomorrow night?" he asked hopefully.

As soon as he said it, my good mood deflated a bit, his request reminding me of the torture I'd be going through the next night. "I can't tomorrow night. I have dinner with my parents."

I wasn't trying to hide my "date" with Kate but I didn't want to reveal any more of my closeted life to him. I didn't want him to know how pathetic I was; that I couldn't say no to my father about dating a woman.

"Oh. Okay, maybe we can talk after?"

I quickly agreed, knowing that I would need to be with him after the hell of a dinner. We said our goodbyes, taking a bit more time that was necessary before I closed the chat window and headed for my bathroom to take another shower.

That night, I dreamed of golden waves and the arms I wished had been holding me.

"**~~**"

The ride over to my parents seemed much quicker than usual and I was more than half way there before I remembered I had to pick Kate up. Sighing, I tapped her address into the GPS and followed the directions.

I still couldn't believe I had actually called her and asked her to join us for dinner. Not that I had much choice after the discussion I'd had with my father. They were backing me into a corner and there wasn't much I could do about it.

However, it wasn't dinner that was on my mind, it was Jasper. How he looked the night before, the words he had said to me, the way his cock looked when he had stroked it in front of the camera, the way he watched me as intently as if I had been in the room with him. Just remembering the way he looked when he came, how he called out my name through lush parted lips, made my cock twitch. Reaching down with one hand, I palmed my hardening cock. It had been my first time doing something like that, and I had felt dirty and naughty and desired.

I also felt guilty. My reasonable mind told me I was insane for agreeing to bring Kate and for feeling like I was sneaking around behind Jasper's back. Not completely comfortable with the idea of telling him those details about the lie I was living, I wondered if this was how he had felt with me, having to hide half of who he was for so long.

Not wanting to show up at Kate's with an erection, I rid my mind of all thoughts of Jasper and focused on the night at hand. Putting the Cullen mask on, I parked in front of her building and took a deep breath. Slowly I walked up to the building and rang the buzzer to her apartment, she replied with a quick 'be right down'. I waited by the door, forcing my racing heart to slow.

It was going to be difficult to eat with my stomach in knots.

The door opened and I smiled at Kate as she walked out. Entirely overdressed for a cook out, she wore a tight black dress and sparkly heels, she had her long, red hair pulled back and large diamond earrings on.

She looked pretty but….

"Hello, gorgeous," she greeted with a kiss to my lips. Jerking my head back to keep it chaste, I smiled and took her hand, hoping the small physical contact would appease her.

"Hi. You look nice," I forced out as I led her to my car. After I opened for the door for her and she climbed in, I got in and started the car, making sure to keep both hands firmly on the steering wheel and out of her reach.

"I was surprised that you called me," she began, adjusting the hem of her dress, inching it up higher to show off even more of her long legs. "I wasn't sure I'd hear from you again after the last hospital benefit."

"Oh?" I could think of nothing else to say.

"Well, you and Bella seemed rather comfortable with each other, so I assumed you two were dating," she explained as she turned in her seat a bit to watch me. Keeping my jaw tight and my eyes on the road, I shook my head a bit. I was tempted to ask if she had thought Bella and I were dating then why the hell had she accosted me at the bar.

"Bella's a _very _close friend, she was just there as my date," I stressed.

"Oh, I think she thought it was more than just a date," she said, a hardness creeping into her voice.

Tensing, I decided I couldn't let her talk about Bella that way. "Then I guess you didn't that see she spent a majority of the night dancing with another man?"

Caught, she shook her head and admitted, "No, I couldn't peel my eyes from you."

I actually had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. When I saw her hand edging toward my thigh, I stepped on the gas and sped the rest of the way to my parents, hoping the police were busy with less desperate people.

The tires on my car practically squealed when I pulled into my parent's long driveway and through the semi circle in front of their house. I groaned when I saw Emmett's tiny sports car in front of me. How he fit his bulky body into such a compact car defied all physics. Next to Emmett's BMW was a Mercedes I didn't recognize and I wondered who else my parents had invited and how much worse my night was going to get. All my confidence went to hell when I was with my family, it was difficult to be the hard ass I normally was when my mother could bring me to my knees with one look. It was a power she wielded with expertise.

Quickly, I parked, got out and opened her door for her. When she held out her hand for help I had no choice but to take it. After she was out, I attempted to pull my hand back but she wouldn't let me have it. Resigned, I walked up to my parent's door hand in hand with Kate.

Knowing everyone was gathered in the kitchen or patio already, we walked inside. I almost dragged Kate, throwing her off balance in her heels a few times. It wasn't like I was eager to be there with her, more like I was eager for the night to be over. The sooner it began, the sooner I could go home and call Jasper, perhaps have another webcam session. I was beginning to think those little cameras had been the best invention to date.

"Sweetheart," my mother called when we entered the kitchen, her eagle eyes immediately going to the joined hands between Kate and me.

"Hey, Mom," I said, giving her a kiss on her cheek.

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen," Kate smiled, "Wonderful to see you again."

"You too, glad you could make it." My mother returned the smile and pulled a few beers from the fridge. "Everyone is already here, why don't you two go join them on the patio? Your father said the steaks are just about done."

Nodding, I turned and headed for the sliding glass doors, forcing Kate to follow me.

What I saw when I walked out onto the stone patio stopped my heart.

I was good at my job, hell, I was great at it, and I knew it. I was confident, some might even say arrogant, and I was rarely caught off guard. A few times in Seattle I had found myself stumbling, but I had quickly recovered. Part of my job was being prepared for anything and everything.

There was nothing that could have prepared me for what I saw.

Sitting at the table next to Bella with his arm slung casually around her chair was Spencer. Leering at me with a shit eating grin, he stood and held his hand out to Kate.

"I'm Spencer Stanley, and who might this angelic vision be?"

That time I actually did roll my eyes.

"I'm Kate Mills," she replied silkily, her hand grasping his. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Oh, trust me, Miss Mills, the pleasure is all mine," he said smoothly before taking his seat next to Bella again.

I greeted Bella with a nod, which she returned with a tight, uncomfortable smile. Just then Emmett walked through the door, already a beer at his mouth as he chugged it down. When he saw Kate next to me and our clasped hands between us, his beer almost came spewing out and he coughed to cover it.

"Okay there, buddy?" Spencer asked with a raised brow.

"Yeah, just went down the wrong way," Emmett lied before giving me a concerned look. Ignoring Emmett, I motioned to the chairs opposite Spencer and Bella, pulling one out for Kate. Emmett sat down next to Spencer, across from Kate, his eyes on me the entire time.

"Hello, Edward," my father waved from behind the grill.

"Hey, Dad, how are the steaks coming?"

"Fantastic," he announced with a grin, waving away the smoke from his face. Even with the heat lamps on, there was chill in the night air and Kate rubbed her arms up and down. The move didn't go unnoticed by Spencer and he stood up, taking off his sweater.

"Why don't you use this?" he offered, handing it to her.

Oh, how very knight in shining armor of him.

She took it gratefully and put it on. Spencer sat back down, scooting his chair closer to Bella. I didn't bother to contain the smile when I saw her counteract his nearness by moving her chair slightly away.

"Bella, how are you this evening?" Kate asked her, sipping her water.

"Wonderful, thank you," Bella replied icily. Bella's demeanor often came across as shy and meek but in reality she was fierce and could hold her own in just about any situation. God knows I had tossed her into some pretty sticky situations before and somehow she always managed to come out unscathed.

She was also loyal and protective.

Spencer raised his eyebrows, intrigued by their reaction to each other. He was an observant fucker, then again, we all were, it was part of the business. We watched, we weighed, we learned.

"Spencer what do you do for work?" Kate asked, trying to make conversation amid the tense stares and fake smiles.

He cleared his throat and glanced at me before speaking. "Actually, I work extremely closely you're your boy Edward, we're practically attached at the hip. He was generous enough to offer me a position in Mergers and Acquisitions. In fact, we just got back from Seattle a few days ago. Beautiful city, have you ever been?"

"No, I haven't," she glanced at me, "perhaps someone will take me out there sometime," she hinted.

Spencer laughed and reached for his wine. "Well, Edward is awfully busy when he's out there, working lots of hours, juggling a lot of balls… in the air, but perhaps after the merger is complete, you could join us for the celebration party. I believe it is expected we bring dates?" he finished, looking at me for confirmation.

I nodded and then looked at Bella, hoping she'd pull me out from in front of the bus Spencer was tossing me under.

"Speaking of, Bella, since you've worked so hard on the Chicago end of his merger, I was hoping you would accompany me to Seattle for the party once it's complete?"

Relaxing back into her seat, she smiled, giving Kate a victorious glare. "I'd love to, Edward. Perhaps I should wear that green dress you like on me so much?"

Catching on to her game, I replied, "That would be perfect."

Spencer actually pouted at her reply and I felt a coldness from Kate. Perhaps I had gone too far, but I needed the distance, I needed to put her in her place. My mother walked out, placing the salad bowl and vegetable tray on the table, slapping Emmett's hand when he immediately reached for the food.

"Ladies first," she scolded him as he rubbed his hand. Katie laughed and spooned some salad onto her plate, her arm purposely brushing mine every time she moved. I heard Emmett's chuckle as he was finally allowed to reach for the food. Sitting down at the end of the table, my mother smiled at everyone.

"It's so great to see you all here, isn't it Carlisle?"

"Sure is," he replied absently, stacking the steaks on a platter. "Ready for the steak?"

He carried them over and served one to everybody, giving Emmett one that was at least twice the size of everyone else's, they knew him well.

"So Spencer, tell us what you think of Mergers and Acquisitions so far, is it everything you hoped it would be?" my father asked as he cut into his steak, a satisfied smile on his face when he saw it was perfectly done.

"More than I hoped for, sir." Spencer was nothing if not good at kissing ass, at least in the non-literal sense. "Your son has been incredibly helpful showing me the ropes, spending a lot of one on one time with me late into the night to catch me up on what's happened so far. We've gotten to know each other quite well."

Narrowing my eyes, I warned him with a steady glare. The asshole was treading a bit too close.

"Great to hear that." My father turned to me. "Edward, how is Spencer doing?"

I glanced at Spencer before speaking, seeing a nervous flash in his eyes. This was my opportunity to tear him apart, to embarrass him in front of my father, and humiliate him in front of Bella and everyone else there.

My eyes never leaving his, I spoke. "He's doing fine. A bit too eager, he needs to understand you can't be a bull in a China shop, that some things need to be handled differently, but I think eventually he will be a positive asset to the department."

Even though it wasn't a complete compliment, Spencer looked relieved, perhaps even a bit grateful as he realized I wasn't going to sink to his level, and finally lowered his eyes from mine.

"Good call on requesting him to join you then," my father added. "How's the steak everyone?"

A round of moans and thumbs up answered his question. Barely able to stomach the food, I ate a few bites before pushing it away. Emmett eyed the remainder of my steak but I wasn't sure if it was out of worry or hunger.

"Not hungry, dear?" my mother asked, motioning to my unfinished dinner.

"Ate a big lunch," I lied.

"Kate, tell us about your work," my mother requested.

Placing her fork down, Kate looked at my mother. "I work for the Chicago Children's Foundation, I'm assistant to the head of fundraising. We approach large corporations for donations, talk to them about allocating funds for our charity. Mostly networking, and getting them to fork over money to help the sick children of Chicago."

She actually made it sounds more glamorous than it was. In fact, she rarely worked, it was for title alone so her expensive college education didn't go to a complete waste and her father could advertise her as gainfully employed to those he wanted her to date.

"Our biggest fundraiser is the charity ball I put together in December. It's wonderful to bring all our benefactors together in one place and celebrate the successes for the year. Although, sadly, I need a date and don't have one yet."

My dear mother chimed in before I could respond. "Oh, I'm sure Edward would love to take you."

Emmett coughed and took a sip of his water.

"You're having a difficult time with food tonight," Spencer smirked, glancing between Emmett and me knowingly.

"It's so good, I'm eating it too fast," Emmett covered quickly. As everyone finished up, Kate leaned back in her seat, her shoulder touching mine increasingly as she edged closer. Emmett couldn't resist a good dig at my expense.

"Edward, seen any nightlife in Seattle?"

It was Spencer's turn to choke, and he began to cough.

"You okay there, buddy?" Emmett imitated Spencer's earlier comment. Not one to back down from a challenge, Spencer nodded and wiped his mouth.

"Actually, Edward and I were invited to a …gentlemen's club the next time we were in town," he informed everyone. My dad smiled and my mother let out a small 'oh'.

"Oh, really?" Emmett replied, raising an eyebrow at me. "That should be interesting, given Edward's…er…reserved nature."

"We won't have time to go, there is enough work to do at night that taking the time to go out would set us behind," I answered.

"Don't be so hasty to say no, Edward, taking the boys out to a …show is a great way to boost morale."

_Thanks, Dad_.

"I agree," Spencer added. Bella sat next to him quietly observing us all, every now and then her eyes would travel over me.

"Well, I hope he behaves himself," Kate said, leaning into me. "Remember, darling, just looking, no touching." Ignoring her own advice, the hand that had been resting on her thigh moved to mine and I tensed, every muscle and nerve was on edge.

Flashbacks of being with Taylor haunted me, the lack of attraction I had felt for her, the failure of our attempts to be physical, the sick to my stomach feeling when she had touched me. Swallowing hard, my heart raced, my gaze fixated on my plate as I debated to what to do. Her hand began to casually caress my thigh; I licked my lips and glanced around the table. Everyone was chatting about sports, even Kate tossed in her opinion on the latest scandal. When her fingertips brushed over the length of my very limp and frightened cock, I almost yelped.

"Edward, why don't you help me get those delicious looking pies your mother baked?" Emmett asked, standing up. I bit back my sigh of relief and quickly stood, forcing myself to lean down a give Kate a kiss on the cheek, hoping to appease her for leaving so suddenly.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" Emmett hissed, turning to me as soon as we were safely in the kitchen. I sighed and leaned back against the counter, rubbing my hands over my face.

"Dad insisted I invite her. What was I suppose to do, Emmett?"

He shot me a look. "Um, I don't know, maybe tell him the truth."

Looking over my shoulder, I made sure the door was closed. Sighing heavily, I shook my head. "You know I can't."

"Yeah, I know in your warped perception of reality it will be all hellfire and wrath if you tell them."

"It's not warped," I defended. "You're not living this lie, you can't know what it's like."

"No, you're right, I'm not living a lie, and neither should you. I'm proud of who I am, and you should be too."

I smirked. "Oh, Emmett, I am proud of who you are."

He rolled his eyes. "Shut the fuck up, you know what I mean."

Lowering my eyes, I nodded. "I do, but you don't know what happens to gay men in this business."

"Oh, do tell."

"There is one guy that came out, and about a month after he did, he was shipped over to head the UK branch. They fucking shipped him out of the country," I explained.

"Yeah, but he wasn't the son of the owner."

"No, he wasn't, but it was ultimately my father's decision to send him there."

"And of course, it could never be that he was the best man for the job or that he actually _wanted_ to go to the UK," he challenged.

I really kind of hated them right then.

Why did the only person that knew about me have to be the one that disagreed with what I was doing?

"It's not that easy," I sighed, trying another direction. Although I knew deep down there was no way to make him understand.

"And having some woman grope you is easy?"

"Fuck no."

Putting on the oven mitts, he grabbed the apple and blueberry pies out of the warmer, putting them on the counter.

"Was she jerking you off under the table or something, man?"

"Close enough," I muttered.

"Thought so, you were starting to look a little green. Which, by the way, is insane," he exclaimed a little too loudly. "She is totally hot, dude."

"It's all wrapping, there isn't much on the inside, trust me."

He shrugged, tossing the oven mitts on the counter. "Who cares?"

"Thanks for saving me."

"Don't you mean, 'Thanks for saving me, again'? You'd be so screwed if it wasn't for me. Probably literally."

Opening the fridge, he pulled out the chocolate pie, actually licking his lips as he placed it next to the other two.

"I get it, I get it. Oh, Emmett, what would I do without you? The light of my life, the stars of my sky, the rum to my coke," I deadpanned.

He tried to glare but he ended up laughing instead. "Now you're beginning to understand. I knew there was more to you than just your looks. And what is the deal with the Spencer asshole?"

I actually smiled. Emmett was a pain in my ass but he was one of the few left that could make me smile.

"Long story. I'll tell you when we meet for lunch on Tuesday."

"You better. I want all the dirty details…" he paused, thinking thoughtful before speaking again. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I like to think my gaydar is up to speed, after all, I've had enough practice with you. Is he…um…"

"Gay?" I whispered and Emmett nodded. "Not sure actually, he might play for both teams. He certainly admires the girls."

"Yeah, a little too much," Emmett growled. "Now go splash some water on your face. You look like shit."

I flipped him off which earned another chuckle.

After Emmett headed back to table balancing three pies, I went into the bathroom and shut the door. Turning on the tap, I splashed cold water on my face as I leaned over the sink. When I looked into the mirror, I realized Emmett had been right.

I did look like shit.

I barely recognized myself with the circles under my empty eyes, paler than normal skin. I looked more than tired, I looked worn.

The stress was taking its toll on me. I was used to professional stress, thrived on it even, but personal stress was new to me. The one comfort I had, the one person I could turn to, was two thousand miles away and probably getting fucked. I clenched my eyes shut and gripped the edge of the counter.

"Jasper, I need you," I whispered to the empty room.

I couldn't remember the last time I had actually needed someone, but right then, no one could sooth me like he could. I imagined his touch, gentle and sure, traveling over my body, lifting me, pulling me. Soft lips on my jaw and neck, reassuring words murmured in my ear, long fingers tugging at my hair and clothing. My jeans tightened as my cock began to harden.

The door open and I jumped, my eyes opening to find Spencer in the suddenly too small space with me. He closed the door and took a step closer, a heavy purpose in his eyes. Before I realized what he was doing, his hands were on my hips pulling me to him, the flat of his chest pressed firmly against mine.

"Don't touch me," I spat at him, grabbing his wrists. He held tight and rocked his hips into mine, feeling my semi hard on I had gotten from thinking about Jasper.

"Mmm, your mouth says no but your body is saying yes," he smirked. Leaning in he took a deep breath and ran his nose my neck. Craning my head back, I resisted his hold and debated on bringing my knee up to meet his groin. "Want me to drop to my knees and suck you off? Relieve some of that stress you're under."

"Fuck off," I sneered, pushing him away. He tilted his head and grinned, eyeing me hungrily.

"You know I love it when you're feisty," he chuckled.

Ignoring him, I asked, "Why the fuck are you here anyway?"

He shrugged and leaned against the vanity. "Your father invited me. How could I turn down _the_ Mr. Cullen," he winked. "Besides, I get to spend more time with you."

I went to walk by him and he reached out and grabbed my hips again, pulling my back to his chest. Quickly reaching around, he palmed my cock, his breath was hot and moist at my ear. I whimpered as he stroked me, my cock not caring where the friction was coming from as long as it was coming.

"Don't tell me you don't want me, Cullen. I read people far too well and I know you're hot for me. What I do want to know is," he paused, his fingers tracing the outline of my cock. I went to move but all I did was put my cock solidly into his grip. "Why do you like to pretend to be straight? Why are you parading a woman around your family when it's never going to happen? What would poor Kate think if she walked in here right now and saw your hips thrusting into my hand?"

Growling, I forced myself from his grasp and turned around.

"You've already got the job, Spencer, what more do you want?"

"I want you, and some day, I guarantee you will come to me, wanting me too."

"That will be a fucking cold day in hell," I snapped before opening the door and walking out.

I took a few deep breaths before I returned the table and sat down under the watchful eyes of Emmett, who by the looks of it was on his third piece of pie. My parents hadn't noticed my absence, and Kate gave me a leering smile when I sat down, her hand immediately returning to my thigh.

Defeated, I sighed and pretended to pay attention to the topic of conversation, whatever the fuck it was.

"Want some pie, sweetheart?" my mother offered, pushing the chocolate one toward me. "Might want to grab it before Emmett takes more."

"No thanks." I gave her a genuine smile. A minute later, Spencer joined us, excited to see desert and immediately cut himself a slice of chocolate pie. Bella watched him with wary eyes, occasionally glancing over at me before turning her attention back to Spencer.

"Mrs. Cullen this pie is to die for, delicious," Spencer complimented.

"It is wonderful, Esme," Emmett agreed, stressing her name and his familiarity with her to Spencer.

Blushing at the attention, my mother smiled. "Thank you, boys."

"Mr. Cullen, Edward tells me that the next big merger is going to be in Japan, is that true?" Spencer asked.

"More than likely, we've got a few small ones we should get done later this year, but we're hopeful the Japan one will happen."

"That's exciting. It will be the first international merger, yes?"

My father nodded. "Yes, it will. Be nice if it is the first of many."

The rest of the night dragged, my body drained in every way, I sat there, barely listening to the chatter around me, barely feeling Kate's hand crawling closer and closer to my crotch. As the night wound down, Spencer offered Bella a ride home, but Emmett jumped on him.

"She came with me," he said possessively. Not that Emmett wanted Bella in any way other than someone to conspire with against me, but he considered her a little sister and there was no fucking way he was letting someone he didn't know near her.

"Next time then," Spencer shrugged at Bella and stood up. Shaking my father's hand, he thanked him for the invitation before giving my mother a quick hug. "Emmett, Kate, pleasure to meet you both. Enjoy your evening. Bella, see you Monday. Edward, don't do anything I wouldn't do," he smiled, and winked at Kate. She giggled and glanced at me with her lust filled blue eyes.

"Oh, your sweater," she gasped. She stood up and put on quite the show, reaching for the hem, she slowly pulled it up, over her tiny waist and large breasts. Once it was over her head, she folded it neatly and handed it to Spencer. Emmett practically drooled, Bella just stared in shock and I think my father had a small heart attack.

"You're very talented, I can see why they have you approach the companies for donations," Emmett mumbled.

"We should go as well," I suggested, liking the idea of getting home and calling Jasper. I knew he was probably out, especially with the time difference, but I could at least leave a message for him to call when he got in. Kate nodded and stood up, thanking my parents for their hospitality, she said goodnight to Bella and Emmett.

After I kissed my mother and gave my father a quick hug, I headed for the car, assuming Kate was behind me but never actually looking to check. However, my manners were still partly intact and at the car, I did hold her door open for her and shut it after she was in. I started the car and turned the radio up, hoping music would deter any conversation.

And it did.

What it did not deter was her wandering hands, one of which found itself on my thigh, the tips of her manicured nails skimming over my cock.

"You are positively delicious, you know that? I bet you taste just as good as you look," she purred, her fingers getting more adventurous, repeatedly brushing over my cock with more pressure.

"Kate," I moaned in frustration but she took it as a response to her touch.

"You like that, don't you?" she said, pressing the flat of her palm into my cock. Not able to take anymore, I reached down and took her hand in mine, tangling our fingers.

"Not while I'm driving, don't want to cause an accident now, do you?" I glanced at her, smiling.

She laughed and, for the moment, seemed satisfied to hold my hand. Finally, we pulled up in front of her apartment building and I parked before getting out. I opened her door, stifling the sigh when she held her hand out for help again. She stood up, eye level with me and leaned toward me. I remained completely still as her lips brushed lightly across mine.

I felt like a deer caught in headlights.

When I felt her tongue begin to trace my bottom lip, I pulled back. Kate dragged one finger down my chest and around my nipple.

I felt sick.

"Thank you for inviting me tonight, gorgeous," she said, "Your parents are wonderful, I had a great time."

Still shocked, I mumbled, "Welcome."

"Now," she whispered, finally pulling back from my lips. "Why don't you come inside so I can show_ you _a great time? Let me find out if you do taste as delicious as you look."

_Oh, fuck. _

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

If all goes according to plan, I *think* the next chapter will actually be our first outtake, the highly requested Jasper/Peter night of the banquet. What was Jasper telling Peter at the table? Inquiring minds want to know…. So we might have two Jpovs in a row (outtake and the regular chapter after that)

M&A has been nominated in nine categories of the Slash Awards (even some non-smutty ones! Go boys!)- AH J/E, WIP, Supporting Character (Riley/Peter), Wish I was a Gay Man, Banner, BJ, Handjob, First time and Toy play. Give the boys some love and vote for your favorites at http:/ theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com

Pst, L&F, If on a Winter's Night and Extreme Measures were all nominated as well.


	17. The Great and Powerful Peter Carlson

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- While this is technically our first outtake, it is also a vital part of the storyline that we were unable to weave into the past few chapters. This is the missing scene between Peter and Jasper at the banquet (previously viewed from Epov in chapter 14, "The Client") and after at Peter's hotel room. Things are a movin' forward…

Our beta is on a well deserved vacation, so all errors in this chapter, grammatical and otherwise, are Touchstone67's.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

Before I returned to my table, I straightened my jacket and glanced at my reflection in the mirror of the men's room, making sure the curls Edward's fingers had been fisting showed no signs of the urgency we had both felt.

I knew Edward wouldn't listen to me.

I knew as soon as the request had left my lips that he would ignore it. It was his nature to not listen, even when the advice was for his own benefit. Hell, I had nothing against him watching, it even excited me a little, but I knew watching me be overly flirtatious with a client would be painful for him to witness.

But being the masochist he is, he watched.

After the kiss the bathroom while my hands twisted his white shirt under his tuxedo jacket, I had tried to comfort him as I assured him I could get my 'client' out of there before I was seen by Spencer or Daniel.

But it wasn't going to be pretty, and he wasn't going to like it.

Edward got jealous, Peter got possessive.

It had been obvious earlier, when Peter had taken my chin in his hand and then kissed me, his tongue sweeping in my mouth briefly before retreating. Even though I was breathless when he pulled away, I didn't miss that look he gave someone over my shoulder.

And I knew exactly who he was giving it to.

As I weaved through the tables on my way back to Peter, I gave courtesy smiles to those around me even as my chest felt heavy having left Edward in the bathroom. Forcing myself to remember I was working, I put my game face back on as I neared the table.

"Everything alright?" his smooth voice asked when I pulled out my chair next to him. Sitting down, I graced with him a dazzling grin.

"Of course. Did you miss me?" I teased playfully, artfully steering the conversation to a lighter tone.

"My side felt empty without you by it," he returned quickly with a chuckle, his aqua eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief.

God, he was beautiful. Peter was one of those few men that looked just as good naked as he did in a tuxedo or jeans and tee shirt. Everything looked better when he was in it.

"Bullshit," I joked, giving him a peck on the cheek. He turned back to the group conversation with a smile and I decided it was time to put my skills to use. As he chatted with the woman across from us, something about stocks, I placed my hand on his lower back, applying just enough pressure for him to feel it. Leaning toward him, I whispered for his ears only.

"Have I told you tonight how much I want you to fuck me? How much I want to feel your cock in my ass."

He stopped talking, his eyebrows rising as he shot me a look. His brief surprise at my comment was replaced with a smirk as he glanced around the table, effectively excusing himself from the conversation. My hand had moved to underneath his jacket, rubbing up and down his back over the satiny feel of his shirt, the heat of his flesh soaking through it. Lifting his hand to my face, he gently ran a finger down my cheek to my lips before he traced them lightly. I resisted the urge to take his finger into my mouth and then tell him where I wanted him to put it.

Having his devoted attention, I lowered my head, but not my eyes, staring up at him through my lashes while I moved my hand slowly from his back, around his hip, to rest on his upper thigh. The expensive material of his tuxedo didn't hide the firm muscle underneath, and I gave it a squeeze before resuming a small caress. His eyes unwillingly fluttered closed when the tip of my finger brushed over the head of his cock, and I silently thanked him for dressing to the right, making his cock easier for me to access.

Watching his handsome face, while keeping an eye on the guests to make sure my actions remained unnoticed, I let my hand travel further to the inside of his thigh, once again skimming his hardening cock. He opened his eyes, the sparkle in them full of lust and urgency. Leaning toward me, his lips were at my ear, his breath warm on my cheek.

"Keep that up, Jasper and I will end up fucking you on this table, guests be damned. They can watch while I strip you, fuck you, and make you come all over their dinner plates."

My entire body shuddered at his suggestion, his words causing my heart to skip at the thought of a public fucking and I felt a heat creep to my cheeks.

"Mmm, that's it, Jasper. You blush at the thought of me fucking you on the table, but you're giving me a handjob under it," he said lowly.

The blush deepened and I picked up my glass of wine, taking a small sip. After putting it down, I lifted my chin a little, my eyes gazing into his as my tongue came out and slowly licked the wine off my lips. Peter watched every move, his eyes darting from my lips to my eyes and back again. His attention was entirely on me, as if there were no guests at the table with us, or even in the room. When Peter's head lolled back ever so slightly, a small smile crossed his lips, and I knew he was picturing us fucking on the table.

I had the same image in my head.

Climbing onto the table, me naked and on all fours while he took me from behind, his shirt on, but undone, his pants around thighs as he knelt, his hands gripping my hips as he slammed into me repeatedly. Our grunts and groans of pleasure would overwhelm their dinner conversation of the latest buyouts, our bodies rocking the table, my cock swaying heavily between my legs as it throbbed and leaked with need.

I was starting to get hard.

Clearing my throat, I glanced around us before leaning even closer toward him, as if I had something important to tell him. "Should I tell you how much the idea of you fucking me on this table in front of all of them is an incredible turn on? How much I love the idea of you taking me, claiming me and making me yours in front of all these people?"

_Except one._

His smile increased and he chuckled. "Such a naughty boy, Jasper," he chided me with a shake of his head, his eyes never leaving mine. I watched their aqua green darken to a deep blue with each suggestive phrase.

"But you like me naughty," I reminded him with a wink.

"This is true. I especially like you naughty when I'm fucking you."

"Me too," I agreed. My attention never wavered, never once did I look toward Edward; I had almost blocked him from my mind, focusing completely on the job at hand, or rather in my hand. At that moment, making Peter feel like he was the only man on the planet was my objective.

And I did it well.

He was putty in my hand.

I continued, "If you fucked me here, owned me on the table, they would hear me cry out your name. See how hard _you_ make me come. Personally, I think they would like it, watching you take me." Shifting the angle of my hand, I was able to grip his cock and with the help of the slight thrusts of his hips, began stroking it. "Come on, take me and fuck me, Peter. I'm so fucking hard. Please. I need you to make me come…now."

His hips stopped moving and he sat up straighter, tossing me a short glare, though he never removed my hand. While my hand slowed, it didn't stop, and regardless of his actions, his cock twitched in my hand. Suddenly, Peter was standing and buttoning his jacket, shifting his weight back and forth a bit. I followed after he glanced down at me, my hand going to his rest casually on his hip as we stood intimately close together. His face softened at the possessive touch, and he turned to me, his hand wrapping around my neck. Drawing me closer, he moved his lips to my ear.

"I don't want to share you with all these people tonight, so I'm going to take you back to the hotel and have my way with you there…over and over."

Nodding, I smiled when his lips brushed my cheek in a soft kiss, a contrast to the promise he had just made me.

"If you'll all excuse us, I believe Jasper and I have some _work_ to do," Peter said to the other guests at the table.

"Is that what they're calling now a days?" one of the older gentlemen joked, followed by a round of laughs.

Peter winked. "Well, it's what we call it when we are in the company of high class people such as yourselves."

A few more laughs and the gentlemen stood to shake our hands. After thanking them all for a wonderful evening, Peter put his hand on my back and guided me toward the exit.

"Will your driver be waiting?" he asked as he directed me through the maze of tables.

"Yes," I said confidently. Just before we exited, I chanced a glance at Edward, my eyes meeting his briefly.

His looked utterly defeated.

He had watched.

As I leaned into Peter's hand, I kept my eyes on Edward, frowning at him. The pull tightened, clenching around my insides as I looked at him across the room. At the same time, Peter increased the pressure on my back, nodding to a few guests as we made our way out.

Once outside, I took a deep breath, relieved to have gotten out of there without being seen by Daniel or Spencer. I spotted Aro across the street and pointed to him. Peter let go of my back and instead took my hand in his as he led us to the limo. Aro hid his surprise at seeing us so early and opened the back door, greeting us both with a nod. I slid into the seat, Peter got in right behind me.

"Good evening, sir, Mr. Carlson."

"Evening. Renaissance, please," Peter requested as Aro closed the door. As soon as he was behind the wheel, Peter raised the window between Aro and us to give us privacy. My heart raced with the thought of the fucking starting earlier than the hotel. Eagerly, I put my hand back on his semi-hard cock and I slid closer. His body stiffened when I went to straddle him and he put his hands on my hips to stop me.

"Don't," was all he said, his eyes staring out the window at the city as we passed it. Confused, I fell back into my seat and slowly removed my hand from his cock. Sighing, I stared at his profile for a minute, his tense, strong jaw and straight nose, his long lashes framing his eyes, trying to will him to look at me.

Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was.

Resting my head against the seat, I stared out my window. A few moments later, I felt his hand covering mine between us, his skin warm as tangled his fingers with mine.

We were silent for the entire ride.

"**~~**"

I kicked the door closed with my foot, watching him as he took long strides toward the middle of the room, his hands already going to undo his black satin tie. Silently, I undid my own tie, letting it hang around my neck while I toed off my shoes. The air was heavy with an unspoken tension and knew I had some explaining to do.

He walked to the French doors that opened to the balcony and stared out over the city's skyline. Lights of every color twinkled in the distance, and I saw his shoulders rise and fall steadily. Barefoot, I moved to stand behind him, but kept space between us, my fingers undoing the buttons on my shirt as I watched his reflection in the glass.

Over time, Peter had gotten easier for me to read, I had learned to listen to his body, from his breathing to the change of his eye color. I knew when he was excited or thoughtful…or upset. I could tell by his furrowed brows that he was concentrating, internally debating on what to say to me, how much of himself he wanted to reveal. Our relationship, while still one of escort/client, had crossed the line of friendship, and as a client, I knew he wanted to get on with the night, but as a friend, he wanted answers.

Silently, I waited behind him. When his eyes met mine in the reflection, I obediently dropped my gaze to the floor.

"Who was he?" he growled.

"Who?" I asked quietly. He shook his head slightly, the anger ebbing at the edge of his calm exterior.

"Don't fuck with me, Jasper," he snapped. My eyes rose to meet his and I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth. Now it was my turn to debate on what to tell him. Talking about clients to other clients was prohibited. "Another client?"

The words stung. The way he said them, the distaste laced on them, the way he referred to Edward as just a client. It was true but….

Keeping my eyes on his dark aqua ones, I lifted my chin definitely before speaking again. "Yes."

"A regular?"

_So much more. _

"I've seen him a few times, yes," I admitted. He turned to face me, his expression softened but his eyes were dark with the storm that brewed in them.

"And?" he asked, his voice hard again.

"And nothing," I replied, narrowing my eyes, wanting to keep Edward out of that room. He didn't belong there, it wasn't his time, it was Peter's. At the banquet, while I had managed to not embarrass Peter in the company of the high class by holding my own in conversations and not fucking up the place setting, I had still failed.

But Peter had not had my undivided attention and he knew it.

"Why the bathroom rendezvous then?" he asked with a raised brow. Gasping, I stared at him. "What? You think I didn't notice how you followed him? That I didn't see the way he looked at you? I told you I'm observant. I also told you that a client wants to feel like he is the most important person in the world. Tonight, Jasper, you failed at that."

I nodded, accepting his tempered words.

"Get undressed," he demanded, his hands going to undo the buttons of his shirt. Obeying, I slid my jacket off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor, my shirt quickly following. Bare-chested I watched as he took off his jacket and shirt. My cock filling at the way his chest was heaving already, the way his muscles were bunched and tense. As my hands went to the belt on my pants, I keep my eyes on his.

"It won't happen again," I promised. The room was silent except for the sounds of us undressing; my zipper being lowered, his belt slipping through the loops and clanging to the ground. Hooking my thumbs into my underwear, I slowly lowered them with my pants and stepped out of them. When his hungry eyes saw me naked, my cock twitched and filled with want instantly. He left his pants on but open, pulling out his own hardening cock, and after a few languid strokes of himself as he watched me, opalescent fluid began to bead on the head of his cock.

"It better not," he finally spoke again. "I don't pay to share you, body, mind or…" he trailed off, his tongue sweeping across his lips instead.

"I'm sorry," I apologized honestly. He took a step closer, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me to him.

"Why the bathroom trip?" he asked again, his lips finding a spot on my collarbone. Tilting my head back, I moaned, not having realized how ready I was for his touch. After our flirting at the banquet, I had been in a semi-erect state for almost an hour and my body buzzed with delight at his touch.

Attempting to concentrate on words and not his hands kneading my ass or his lips traveling around my neck, I sighed. "He's not out. Was worried about seeing me. Just wanted to let him know I wouldn't expose him," I stammered in half sentences. His fingers skimmed my back until they reached my hair.

"Not out. What an awful life. Is that why he goes to you?" he asked, sympathy in his voice. Letting my forehead fall to his shoulder, I nodded.

"Enough about him. It's just you and I now, and I want you, _only you_, Peter."

He took my chin in his hand and lifted my head to look into my eyes. "Very good, Jasper," he whispered before fucking finally letting our lips meet. His tongue plunged into my mouth, demanding my taste as he moaned and pulled our bodies together, my cock rubbing against his own partially clothed one. Hands were in hair, tugging and pulling as our lips met over and over, the kisses never easing in intensity, our lips swelling with each forceful meeting. Gasping, he pulled away, looking at me with an almost surprised expression as his eyes searched mine.

He must have found what he was looking for because he smirked. "Against the doors, hands above your head."

Without replying and a smirk of my own, I took the few short steps forward, the moon lighting the balcony like our own private spotlight. Facing the door, I stretched my arms above my head, placing my palms flat on the cold glass, and spread my feet.

When I heard the buckle of his belt, I knew what was coming and braced myself for the first sting of pain.

It came, swiftly and soundly, against my ass, and my entire body flinched from the sound before the pain registered. Hissing, I dropped my head, resting it against the door, and prepared for the next strike, which came seconds later. Except for his heavy breathing, he was quiet, only the sound of the leather belt hitting my ass and my gasps broke the silence. With each swing of his arm and slap of the belt reddening my ass, I felt the tension around us dissipate. He was back in control, in his element and both our bodies eagerly responded to his domination.

Between my legs, my cock throbbed, my balls heavy as they swayed each of his blows. I lost count of the strikes, but there was at least half a dozen red stripes marring my flesh. Just as the burn began to spread up my back, I heard the belt fall back to the floor and felt his hand between my shoulder blades, the going to my hips, pulling them back toward him. Kicking my ankles gently, he spread my legs further.

"Stay," he demanded. Looking over my shoulder, I saw him step away, his eyes admiring his handiwork on my ass as he lowered his pants. "Forward," he said when he saw me trying to watch him. Doing as he said, I turned and looked out the window, my eyes not focusing on the skyline but rather on his reflection behind me. When he caught me, he teasingly stroked himself a few times.

"I can't decide if I want to fuck that rosy ass or your face," he said thoughtfully.

"Why not both?"

He chuckled and I heard him move again. The next thing I felt were cool, lube-slicked fingers spreading my ass, one deliberately teasing my entrance only briefly before slipping in. There was no denying the throaty groan that escaped me, my body releasing some of the desire it had for him. A second finger joined the first and my body ached with want, blood pounding through my veins.

"Fuck," I mumbled, widening my stance and pushing my ass against his fingers as they readied me. Brushing a tip along my gland, a bolt of ecstasy shot to my cock and it jerked, growing even more rigid.

"Like that, boy?" he whispered, his lips suddenly at my ear, his breath hot and moist.

"Fuck yeah, more," I replied. "Take me, fuck me, Peter. Make me yours again."

"Fucking right," he said as he withdrew his fingers and replaced them with his sheathed cock, rubbing it between my legs, circling my hole as he gripped my hips to steady me. "Going to make you mine," he growled as he pushed the swollen head of his cock past the tight muscle, slowly but greedily entering me. Not pausing to make sure I was comfortable, he pushed forward, forcing his cock until he was seated deep inside me, the sting from his belt long forgotten.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck…yeah," I stuttered, my arms weakening as the burn flowed throughout me. Keeping his hands on my hips, he slid out and then plunged back in again. The force of his weight pushed me flush against the door, trapping my cock to against the glass. His thrusts were controlled, measured, not nearly as frantic as my own were as I tried to rock my hips against him.

"Going to take you," he muttered absently.

"Please," I begged…for anything.

For him to fuck me, forgive me, take care of me.

In that moment there was no one I needed more than Peter. Willingly, I gave myself to him and gradually his pace increased, his cock thrusting into me viciously. One of his hands left my hip and went around my chest, splaying his fingers to help steady me and I felt his mouth on my shoulders, lips taking my sweaty flesh between his teeth.

With each thrust of his hips, my cock slid along the smooth glass, frantically seeking out any friction the glass allowed. His weight kept me pinned, my sweaty body squeaking as it slid along the glass while we fucked. Wantonly, I pushed against him, arching my back as much as I could. The change in angle sent him deeper and we both groaned when his flared head hit my prostate.

"Fuck," he almost sighed when he felt my body tremble. His other hand left my hip and went to my hands above my head. His labored breaths washed over my neck and my head dropped back on his shoulder as his fingers grabbed my wrists. My nails clawed uselessly at the glass as he took me. I wasn't ashamed at my need for him, or the loud guttural moans I let out.

"Mine," he said, his tongue flicking along the corded muscles of my neck. "Mine."

"Yours," I agree, barely nodding. My body craved released, craved the high that only he could give me. Drawn up tight, my balls ached, the familiar tingling beginning to strengthen low in my abdomen. "Need," I began to groan, frustrated at my neglected cock. The window was slippery with my excitement, offering little resistance as my cock rubbed against it over and over. Briefly, I wondered if anyone could see us, see our naked bodies pressed desperately against the window, my cock on display for the world.

It was almost like he was fucking me on the table in front of the guests, only on a larger scale.

The thought excited me impossibly further and I felt the stirring of my orgasm begin.

"Close, baby," I whimpered, not realizing the endearment had slipped from me.

"Me too, boy, your ass is so tight, always so tight," he grunted, every few words punctuated with a sharp thrust.

"Gotta come," I growled. My body was so on edge that it only took the abrasive scrape of his unshaven jaw along my shoulders to push me over. "Fuck," I yelled out, my fingers clenching his as I came without his touch, my cock erupting, shooting bursts of cum onto the glass and my stomach. Every muscle in my body tensed, stilling as the sweet relief flooded me, waves of ecstasy cresting through my body.

He never ceased his movements, but his pace faltered, becoming erratic while we rode my climax together. His hand clutched mine as he pressed me further to the glass.

"Mine," he roared before dropping his forehead to my shoulder, I felt his panting breaths and his wet tongue right before he sunk his teeth into my flesh and claimed me as his. The spasms of my body around his cock pulled his orgasm from him and he fell with me, his cock jerking deep inside me, filling the condom with his hot seed. My body was on too much of a high to even register the pain from his bite, my mind too hazy to realize I would need to cover up his mark.

I hissed as his cock slid from me, and swayed when he let me go to remove the condom. Taking me back into his arms, he slowly slid us to the floor, turning us so he was against the glass. He curled his body around mine, his arms embracing me tightly as we both came down from our climaxes. There were long moments of silence, our bodies reclining into each other, craving the contact. Hands tenderly caressed, lips met in lazy kisses, cocks lay limp and sated, a complete contrast to what had happened only a few minutes before.

My eyes were heavy lidded as my head rested against his chest, his body completely supporting my weight. Next to me, I fingered the belt he had dropped, my fingertips running over the fine leather.

"Does it hurt?" he murmured into my ear, his arms tightening around me more.

"Not really," I said, shaking my head. "But if I can't walk tomorrow it won't be because of a spanking," I teased. "That was some serious fucking."

"Did I hurt you?" he asked seriously as he shifted his body to see my face.

"Does it matter?" I snorted and felt him stiffen behind me.

"Yes, it does matter, Jasper," he paused, gathering his thoughts. "A little bit of pain for pleasure can be a good thing, but I don't want to hurt you, that's not my intention. I want to be with you, have you, enjoy you, but I…"

Leaning to the side, I turned my head so I could see him as he spoke. In a rare moment, Peter looked uncertain; his confidence wavered, showing a rare vulnerability I had never seen before.

"But what?" I coaxed him, my fingers stroking the sides of his thighs.

He hesitated, swallowing before continuing. "I want you to want those things too. I want you to want to be with me, have me, enjoy me."

Forcing him to release me, I turned to face him, kneeling between his spread legs. "Peter, I do. I do all those things already. Can't you tell? Didn't you see how much I wanted you?"

Staring at me, he nodded and then out a heavy sigh. "I didn't like what happened at the party tonight, Jasper. It wasn't that I paid for you, that you were on my time, it was that I wanted you to be there for me, to want to be there for me, paid or not."

Lifting my hands, I cupped his face in them. "Peter, you have no idea what I went through for you tonight. I was so nervous about going someplace so fancy that I…" I felt like a fool for what I was about to admit to him, but for him, I took the chance. Lowering my eyes from his, I focused on a spot on his neck and felt my face flush as I thought about what I had done. "I had to ask Aro for help because I didn't know all the plates and forks and stuff. He came to my place today for a few hours to teach me."

The pensive expression cleared his face and was replaced by a grin and bright, mischievous aqua eyes.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," I confirmed. "Trust me, I owe Aro. He is the reason I wasn't a complete embarrassment tonight. I didn't want to disappoint you…and I did anyway."

"Jasper," he whispered, putting his forehead to mine. "You could never embarrass me. In a way, I was disappointed, yes, but not because of the way you handled yourself in front of others."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. He turned me back around so we were once again resting against the glass. "I'm sorry I made us leave."

He chuckled. "I let you do that, Jasper. We'd still be there if I didn't want to come back here and fuck you. I have better control over my body than that."

I felt his chest vibrate with his small laugh and let myself sink into him further. He felt good, warm, comfortable. After the night of stress and worry, Peter had brought me back down, focused me, relaxing my body to the point of exhaustion. Yawning, I closed my eyes.

"Tired?" he asked, nudging my foot with his. "Ready for bed?"

Pulling away, I stretched and stood up, holding my hand out for him. "Want to shower first?"

He grabbed my hand and let me help him up. "Nah, we're just going to get sticky again in a few hours anyway," he replied with a shrug. I wrapped my arms around his waist, bringing my lips to his.

"I love the way you think," I muttered before letting him walk us to the bedroom. "Do you think the maid will know what that is on the window?"

Peter put an arm around my shoulder and whispered in my ear. "She might figured it out if we leave some on every surface of the room."

We climbed onto the bed, Peter pulling me to him. Wrapping an arm around my waist and throwing a leg over mine, he claimed me.

"Do you have work?" I murmured sleepily.

He hummed as the snuggled closer. "Always, but I'm not leaving your side tonight."

After a kiss to the back of my neck, I felt his breaths even out as sleep fell over him, taking me with it shortly after. There on his large bed, we slept, a tangle of sweaty, sticky, sated bodies.

"**~~**"

"Babe," he murmured in my ear. "Wake up. Need you."

The words were soft, urgent, and slightly demanding. Without opening my eyes, I could tell the room was still dark. Knowing Peter, not more than a few hours had passed since we had climbed into bed.

I felt him, his lips at my ear, his breath on my cheek, his cock pressing against my ass. Instinctively I lifted my leg, not surprised to find the muscles sore from our earlier fucking. Moaning behind me when he realized I was awake, he put a hand under my thigh to support it while his fingers began to explore my ass. They were already slick with lube as he teased my hole before gently inserting the tip of his finger. Less than a minute later, I was pumping my cock and begging for his as he slipped into me, his hips constantly rolling forward as he eased past the resistant muscle.

Kissing along my shoulder, he whispered, "You okay, does it hurt?"

Words eluded me in my semi-awake state, so I shook my head, ignoring the soreness of my body and reaching an arm around behind me to grip his hip and encourage him for more. When I dug my nails into his hips, he groaned and began to thrust, his cock plunging into me in a steady rhythm. The air filled with the cadence of our grunts and moans and the heady scent of our fucking. His nose nuzzled the back of my neck, pushing my hair aside to find the sensitive skin there, taking it into his mouth to suck softly.

"Mmm, feels so good inside you, Jas, so good…" he said and I felt his hips begin to quicken, his hands holding me still as he neared his climax. My own was on the verge of spilling, the burn teetering, just waiting for him to join me.

"Yeah, fuck me, baby," I pleaded, tugging desperately on my own cock. Suddenly, he groaned, his cock exploding inside me as his hips jerked through his orgasm. Feeling his cock pulse inside me, I thrust into my hand one more time and I followed him, my own cock twitching as it released a few steady bursts. A euphoric sensation enveloped me, coating every nerve ending, racing my heart and fogging my brain.

Behind me, Peter slid his cock out and I moaned at the loss, but after taking off the condom, he pulled me to him. Laying a leg over mine, he entwined them and kissed my neck. I was floating, only vaguely aware that I was still lazily pumping my cock or that my cum was covering my hand.

"You called me baby," he said quietly, his hands ghosting over my chest.

I hadn't even realized I had said it. "Sorry," I mumbled apologetically.

"Don't be. I liked it," he sighed, content. Just as I began to escape the haze of bliss, I felt his body completely relax behind me as he fell asleep again. I couldn't help but join him, the warmth and comfort of his body lulling me to sleep.

The next time I woke up, Peter had rolled onto his back, one of his legs still mingling with mine. Watching him sleep used to be something I was rarely able to do, he would always wait for me to fall asleep before crawling out of the bed to work, rejoining me only when he wanted my body again.

Even in the stillness of sleep, he was gorgeous. Thick, black eyelashes fanned over his flushed cheeks, his lips were parted as he took deep, sleepy breaths. Curling into his side, I watched him sleep, occasionally letting my fingers trace his nipples or skim along the muscles of abdomen. With each lingering touch, his cock lengthened, and I watched it grow under the caresses of my hands along his hips and thighs. While keeping one hand on him, I reached behind me to the table and grabbed the lube and a condom, sighing sadly when I saw it was the last one.

Ripping it open with my teeth, I tossed the wrapper on the floor and rolled it down his cock before drizzling some lube into my hand. Slathering it on his cock, I enjoyed the sounds that he made along with the small movement of his hips. After quickly readying myself with two fingers, I straddled him, positioning my entrance over his cock and slowly impaled myself on his erection.

He moaned and his eyes fluttered open, exposing their brilliant blue-green to me. The room was almost completely dark, the moonlight had been dimmed by clouds as a steady rain fell.

"What a nice way to wake up," he chuckled, his arms reaching out to pull me down onto him until I was sitting on his hips.

"I know. You wake me up like this all the time, figured it was time to return the favor," I whispered as I started to roll my hips forward.

"Jesus, Jasper," he hissed through clenched teeth, his body tensing for a second. "So tight."

"Fuck me, Peter," I begged. Putting my hands on his chest for leverage, I began to rock my hips, keeping his cock deep in me as I grinded in circles.

"Oh…yeah…"he stuttered, his voice rough with sleep. He put his hands on my hips, not to guide my movements, but for the contact. Below me, he began to writhe, his body quivering when I dragged my blunt nails along his chest. I threaded my fingers through his hair and he arched his back, emitting a long, carnal groan.

When I had control over him like that, when just the swivel of my hips or caress of my finger on his nipple unraveled him, it was hard to imagine the powerful business man he was. I was surprised that someone as useless as me could make a man like Peter beg for more.

And beg he did.

Pleas of a faster pace flowed endlessly from his lips even as he managed grind up into me repeatedly.

The more I watched him, the more I realized something was different.

The way he whispered my name, the way his thumbs rubbed along the 'V' of my hips, the way his eyes never left mine as our bodies worshiped each other, was different, and I realized we weren't fucking anymore.

I wasn't sure when it had happened, but there was no denying that right then, the meeting of our bodies was anything but making love.

I had only made love with one other person.

It had been a difference I had never understood before Edward. To me, sex had always been fucking, no matter the partner, willing or not, it didn't matter. But as soon as the first time with Edward, when I found out there could be more, I had begun to sense a difference.

In that dark room with Peter, as the thunder cracked around us and the rain angrily pelted against the windows, something had changed.

"Peter, I-"

He put a finger on my lips. "Ssshhh," he whispered, "just be with me, Jasper."

Nodding, I leaned down to kiss him, pulling my ass off his cock a bit, allowing him to steady my hips and thrust up into me. His lips were already parted when we met, his tongue entering my mouth softly, reverently, as we kept the pace sensual and languid. His long fingers weaved through my hair, twisting around my sweat-dampened waves.

It seemed hours later that our pace finally became needy and frantic. His hands finally going to my hips to slam me down onto him as he met me thrust for thrust. Sitting astride him, I leaned back, bracing one hand on his thigh while I stroked my cock.

"Looks so good," he said, licking his hips, his eyes trained on my cock. "Come for me, boy. Come on me; mark me like I did you."

Panting, my head lolled back and I felt my abdomen burn, then tingle as the fire spread low and fast, my cock jerking in my hand before releasing cum onto Peter's chest. My entire body shuddered, the muscles of my ass clamping down around his cock as my orgasm ebbed.

"Fuck," he whimpered, slamming into me one last time before he joined me, shooting deep inside me. "Jasper," he called out, his back arching off the bed as he kept me to him while his cock emptied and his climax faded from his body. Exhausted, I collapsed on top of him, not even caring that my cum was adhering us.

"Wow," I sighed, unable to think of anything more intelligent.

"You can say that again," he chuckled, his fingers stroking my spine. "Thank you for the wake up call." His voice echoed in his chest under my ear.

"My pleasure," I laughed, easing my ass off his cock.

"You must be sore, babe," he said, reaching down to strip off the condom.

"I'm okay," I shrugged. I wasn't going to lie, my ass did hurt, but it wasn't anything I hadn't felt before, or that I couldn't handle. "I'll get a towel."

Rolling off the bed, I padded into the bathroom and wet a towel with some warm water. I turned to the side, looking at the bite mark on the back of my shoulder in the mirror, relieved to see he hadn't broken the skin. It was fainter than it had felt and would probably only last a day or two.

When I returned, his eyes were already closed and his breathing had evened out. Leaning, I dabbed the cloth along his chest before wiping off his cock. I tossed the towel on the floor and climbed back into bed. Stretching out next to him, I put my head on his chest and my arm around his middle.

"I meant to ask you earlier," he began in a hushed voice, "but I got…um distracted."

I smiled against his chest. "About what?"

"What's going on with James?"

Sighing heavily, I lifted my head and eyed him before speaking. He fingered my curls, gently pushing them off my face.

"Tell me," he coaxed.

"I'm working on it, I'm about breaking even," I finally replied. Brushing his finger along my cheek, he gave me a smile, but his eyes turned cold.

"Jasper, it's not going away, please let me do something. I can take care of it for you," he offered.

I was shaking my head before he even finished speaking. "No, I can't. No."

He nodded, the hardness easing in his eyes. "I understand, but you know the offer stands." He cupped my face. "Okay?" he insisted.

"Okay," I promised.

Lifting his head off the pillow, he placed a kiss on my forehead. "Sleep, babe."

"Not like we have much choice, you're out of condoms."

"Ah, dear Jasper, you underestimate me. There are more in the other room," he said, winking. "But no more… fucking, give your ass a rest."

I laughed and lay my cheek on his chest, his heart beating soundly beneath it, the rhythm enticing me into a deep, dreamless sleep.

"**~~**"

"Mmm," I moaned when I felt him dragging his tongue along my collarbone. In our sleep, we had switched positions and I had ended up on my back with his head resting on my chest and one of his legs between mine. My fingers were buried in his thick hair as I stretched beneath his warm, wet mouth. "A little lower," I suggested, bravely pushing his head down toward my morning wood.

He laughed and moved his mouth down to take in one of my nipples.

"Oh, Jesus," I practically shouted, arching up toward him. Lapping and flicking his tongue around my nipple, he reached down and fondled my balls while spreading my legs apart with his own. "You're insatiable, you know that, right?"

Lifting his head, he gripped my balls tightly and tugged on them firmly. "You don't seem to mind."

Groaning, I parted my legs further, giving him even more access. "I definitely don't mind."

"I really want to fuck you right now," he said between kisses along my ribs, navel and hips, "but I know you're probably sore."

"We can fuck, I'm fin-"

"So," he interrupted, ignoring me. "I'm going to do this instead." He had moved lower, his mouth hovering so close to my cock, I could feel his breath bathing over it. He ran his nose along the underside of my cock, inhaling deeply. "Jesus, I love the smell of you after we've fucked. Strong, musky and…mine."

I nodded in agreement, both my hands in his hair, greedily encouraging him to suck me. "Please, baby. Don't tease me."

Which was he precisely did when he flicked his tongue around the head of my throbbing cock, moaning when he tasted my excitement. My hips desperately wanted to thrust up, seeking whatever he was going to offer, even if it was the slightest of touches. He put a finger into his mouth, sucking on it for a few seconds before removing it and pressing it at my hole, caressing the sensitive skin around it.

"Yeah, yeah, more…please," I streamed endlessly. "Need it, come on, please, want it."

"You'll get it when I'm ready," he smirked, his tongue dipping into my slit before tracing the ridge and veins in my cock with a barely-there touch.

"Ugh," I groaned in frustration, my fingers fisting his hair. "Please, I'm begging, baby."

A second later, his finger was knuckle deep in my ass and his lips were around my cock, his head setting a quick, steady rhythm.

"Fuck," I yelled out, probably a bit too loud, at the overload of sensations at once. Just about coming undone when his finger tapped my gland, the thrusts even and timed with the bobbing of his head on my cock.

Peter was fucking coordinated.

My hips thrust up to meet his hot mouth, my hands remaining on his head, guiding his pace but letting him do all the work. Lifting my head, I watched him suck me, his opened eyes watching me through his dark lashes, the corners of his mouth turning up around my cock when he saw me enthralled with the sight. I couldn't see his finger in my ass, but I sure fucking felt it, and I could see the movement of his arm, the muscles sliding smoothly under his tan skin.

"Close," I moaned, letting my head fall back onto the pillow. I had lost all control of my body, it was his, and he manipulated it, bringing me to the edge and back a few times before finally having mercy and taking my cock deep into his throat as he swallowed.

"Fuck, coming," I cried out, my entire body tensing so quick and hard that I thought I might cramp. My cock pulsed in his mouth, releasing the pleasure he had been teasing from me into his mouth. Swallowing around me, he took it all, moaning in satisfaction, until my cock fell from his mouth, clean, limp, and heavy. Panting, my chest heaved as he slid his finger from my ass and slowly crawled up my body until his lips were right above mine.

Staring into his eyes, I saw the change in their color, the flecks of blue fading into the ocean green as his desire crested. My fingers carded through his hair, slightly damp from his effort, as I lay still and caught my breath. Hesitantly, watching me the entire time, he lowered his lips to mine in a tender, caressing kiss, slipping his tongue between my lips, sharing the taste of my orgasm with me. Moaning into the kiss, I kept his lips to mine, requesting them to meet over and over again, the intensity never growing, but the gentleness always remaining.

I felt his cock hard against my thigh as his hips pressed into me, not urgently, but more reflexively. Breaking the kiss, I smiled up at him before kissing the tip of his nose. Chucking, he rubbed it along my cheek to dry it off.

"I love seeing you like this," he sighed, bracing his weight on his elbows on either side of my shoulders.

"Like what?"

"This, relaxed, enjoying yourself. Not so long ago, you were scared to death, remember?"

"I don't know if I'd say scared to death…"

He laughed. "Definitely scared to death. Look how far you've come, Jasper. Not the shy boy that was afraid to enjoy himself, now your wanton, shamelessly begging for a blowjob."

"What can I say, I learned to beg from the best," I teased, shrugging.

"I am definitely the best," he agreed with a nod. "Now time for a shower, and for you to return the favor."

Bouncing off the bed, he held his hand out. Taking it, I let him pull me up and we walked to the bathroom, his hands never leaving my body. He started the shower and turned to me.

"Let's see how dirty we can get getting clean, shall we?" he murmured against my lips as he guided me under the spray of the hot water.

"**~~**"

Peter stood before me, his skin still damp and warm from the long shower, slipping into a pair of dress pants. Sitting on the bed, I watched him, his body moving effortlessly, his eyes glancing to me to offer a wink.

"Enjoying the view?" he asked, stuffing his cock that had been in my mouth only moments before, into his pants before zipping them up.

"Always," I smiled.

As the end of my time with Peter drew closer, reality began to settle over me again, and the pain etched onto Edward's face as I had left the party came back, hurting much more than the sting of Peter's belt had. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, the pull tightening painfully in my chest.

Peter's fingers were on my chin, lifting it, and I opened my eyes to meet his concerned ones.

"You okay?"

"Yes," I smiled. "Just tired."

"Did I wear you out?" he teased lightly. Standing, I gave him a kiss before slipping my arms into my jacket.

"Definitely," I replied, running my hands through his hair one last time.

"Here," he said seriously, holding out a piece of paper. Confused, I took it, realizing it was a phone number. "It's my cell phone. If you need…help between now and the next time we see each other, call me. Anytime. I don't like you taking James on yourself, but I understand your need to. Regardless, I expect you to call me if things get out of hand, understand?"

I took the paper, pulled out my Blackberry and entered his name and number.

"Understand?" he repeated when I hadn't answered.

"Yes. I'll call if I need you, I promise." Just as I tucked my phone back into my pocket, he grabbed my wrist.

"I know you have to, but I don't want you to go." The vulnerability he had briefly shown me the night before hinted through, his eyes lighter as he tried to smile.

"Me either," I said, only half lying. Part of me wanted to stay with him, where I knew what to expect and what was expected of me. I wanted to avoid walking down that hall to face Edward's hurt and anger, unsure if it had eased or gotten worse throughout the night, after he had to lie alone on his bed, knowing I was fucking another man.

But I had to go see him, I had to set things right.

"But I'll see you soon, won't I?" I asked hopefully. Peter was one stable feature in my upturned life.

"Most definitely," he paused, doing up a few of the buttons on his shirt. "In fact, I've got something special planned for next time."

"Oh? More special than a crop or a feather?" I shuddered at the thought of something more playful than either of those. "Let me guess, you seem to have a fascination with my ass being red, so perhaps a spanking bench?" I teased as I pushed his hands away and did his buttons up for him, enjoying the way his body trembled when I took over. "Master," I whispered in his ear.

He laughed loudly. "Not quite, though that idea is tempting." He let me finish his shirt and then wrapped his arms around my waist, keeping me pinned to him. Leaning in, his took my earlobe into his mouth before speaking. "By the way, I like the 'master' thing."

"I knew you would," I chuckled.

"But no, nothing like a spanking bench. I think you'll like it though," he said, pulling me tighter.

"I'm sure I will," I agreed. "But now I need to-"

"Go," he sighed, "I suppose I can get some work done that I put off last night. Though not sure how much I'll get done with the scent of your cum hanging in the air."

"Peter, don't put work off for my sake."

"I don't do anything I don't want to do. Last night, I didn't want to work, I wanted to be with you," he reasoned lowly. "And I was…again and again."

"Mmm…thank you for that. It was amazing." I ran my hands up his chest, resting them on his shoulders.

"Yes, it was," he said, leaning in for a kiss. With one hand firm on my back, his other weaved into my hair, fingering the ends. "Time to go," he announced quietly. He didn't give me a chance to reply before his lips were on mine again, his tongue entering to twist briefly with mine before he broke the kiss with a sigh. "See you soon, Jasper."

"Bye, Peter, see you soon," I returned, kissing his lips once more before turning and heading for the door. With one last smile and wave, I opened it and stepped into the quiet hallway, my eyes immediately glancing down the hall toward Edward's door. I had no idea where the fuck Spencer was, he could be in his own room, or…

Striding down the hall, I walked past Spencer's door to Edward's.

The rush from the night before, of almost being caught, the look of misery on his face, the worry in his voice in the bathroom….the way he had kissed me, as if he wanted to make sure I remembered him when I was with someone else.

As if I could ever forget Edward.

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself, bracing for what unknown was behind his door. No matter what he did or said, I wasn't leaving until we talked.

Raising my hand, I rapped my knuckles on his door and waited.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

*wonders what the surprise might be*

Escortsper and Mergerward have been nominated in nine categories of the Slash Awards (even some non-smutty ones! Go boys!)- AH J/E, WIP, Supporting Character (Peter/Riley), Wish I was a Gay Man, Banner, BJ, Handjob, First time and Toy play. Give the boys some love and vote for your favorites at http:/ theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com

Pst, L&F, If on a Winter's Night and Extreme Measures were all nominated as well.


	18. There's No Place Like Home

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- We're back with a current Jpov after last chapter's outtake. This might be my favorite chapter to date. It was so much fun to write, you'll see why.

M&A has not only breached 1k reviews but over 1k on alert now as well. THANK YOU!

Epic A/N at the end.

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

There were fucking hundreds of them.

Maybe not hundreds, but at least dozens, dominating the space, intimidating not only in quantity but also in their sleek look, black wood polished so much you could fucking see your reflection. To me they all looked alike, as if they had made one and cloned it many times, but as I looked closer, I saw subtle differences.

Overwhelmed, I stood just inside the doorway for a few minutes before slowly walking toward the first one I saw.

"Can I help you?" a gentlemen offered as he eagerly approached me. He was short with thinning brown hair and wire-rimmed glasses shielding dark, beady eyes.

"I'm looking to," I paused, taking a deep breath. I fucking hated being out of my element. "Buy a piano."

His smile was large as he leered at me, a look I knew well. On the streets, people had looked at me a lot; looks of pity, fright, and judgment. There was no doubt this guy was sizing me up, but not for my abilities in bed or the size of my dick. He was much more interested in the size of my wallet. Dressed in my nicest Armani, I looked confident but felt inferior as I stared right back at him.

"Well, I can help you with that, but I must say that we sell only quality instruments here," he said.

"I want quality," I replied, stuffing my hands in my pockets.

"I see then. Will you be financing or purchasing outright?" he asked as he began to usher me toward the biggest piano in the store.

_Financing. _

What the fuck was that?

"I'll be paying cash," I said, swallowing. His smile turned into a bit of a sneer as he stopped us in front of a large, black piano.

"This is one of our best. A grand Steinway, beautiful in quality and sound. A must have for any serious musician."

I walked around it, not knowing the first thing about what the fuck I was doing, I ran my hand along the top and then pressed a key or two. As soon as the low bars sounded through the store, I could imagine Edward sitting at it, his long fingers dancing over the keys as he played me something beautiful.

"How much is this one?" I asked the salesman.

Narrowing his eyes, he glanced at my hand on the keys before answering. "This might be a bit big for your place."

"I didn't ask about the size, I asked how much it was," I retorted, straightening my back and jutting my chin out challengingly.

Reaching out, he closed the cover to the keys, forcing me to move my hands. "It's very expensive."

"A dollar amount," I said, stepping closer to him. In my pocket, my hand wrapped round the three thousand dollars I had brought with me. It was the money was supposed to be paying James that week, but …well, Edward was more important.

"Thirty thousand, with free delivery and set up of course," he smirked.

My heart halted.

Thirty thousand dollars.

For a piano.

Jesus fucking Christ, it had better play its own music and come with a fucking piano player for that price.

"As I said, it's very expensive. You have to pay for quality," he said. "So, that will be cash?" He raised a knowing eyebrow.

I felt like a fucking idiot and scolded myself for not having researched the prices more online. When I'd had the idea to surprise Edward with a piano, I had been so fucking excited, I only checked for local music stores, and not the prices, having no idea they were so expensive.

Who the fuck has thirty grand to spend on a piece of furniture?

Edward Cullen.

I knew my cheeks were red, I knew he could see my embarrassment, but I refused to show him anything else. Glaring at him, I spat, "You can take your pianos and your fucking attitude and stick them up your God damn ass."

Not waiting for this reaction, I turned and walked toward the door, ignoring the astonished looks of his co-workers as I pushed the door open. Once I was in the cool misty air, I took a deep breath, my entire body trembling from the pent up frustration. Being treated like shit had been expected on the streets, but it had been months since anyone not paying for me had treated me like a second class citizen.

I mean, I was dressed in fucking Armani.

As I stood on the sidewalk, sadly realizing my dream of surprising Edward wasn't going to happen, I heard the door open behind me.

"Sir?" a small voice said. Looking over my shoulder, I saw a middle-aged woman heading toward me. In her hand was a small card. "I heard you were looking for a piano," she said kindly. "There's a place on Fourth Avenue that sells and rents used ones. They are all refurbished. He's very nice, his name is Bill. Here's his address and card," she said, handing me the paper in her hand.

After glancing at it, I gave her a small smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she returned my smile and then motioned to the store behind us. "Don't mind him, he's an ass."

"So I see," I snorted. "Thanks." Leaving me on the sidewalk, she turned and walked back inside. Having had enough embarrassment for the day, I was tempted to say fuck it and go back to my apartment. I was just about ready to hail a cab when an image of Edward's beaming smile hit me, his eyes twinkling as he saw the piano for the first time. Briefly, I weighed his happiness against my embarrassment.

I'd had enough dirty looks to last me a life time; I certainly didn't need any more, and definitely not from some sleazy salesman who thought he was better than me.

Sighing, I headed down the street toward the address she'd given me.

The store was much smaller than the other place, with only about a dozen pianos in it, some as shiny and black as the ones I had just seen. An older gentleman walked out of a backroom dressed in a shirt, tie and sweater vest. Tufts of gray hair sprouted from his head and small round glasses were perched on his nose.

"Can I help you?" he asked as he moved to a counter.

"Um, yeah, I'd like to…ah, see about getting…a…piano," I stammered, the confidence I had walked into the other store with had been completely shot to hell by that fucking asshole.

"For yourself?" he asked, tilting his head, his eyes studying me.

"No, for my…"

My what? Client? Lover? Dirty little secret?

"Boyfriend," I settled on proudly.

"Has he been playing long?" he asked, walking out from behind the counter. He was short and the buttons on his vest were straining against his protruding belly.

"His entire life," I answering, beaming.

"Well, I do have refurbished ones for sale, but I would suggest, where he is just your boyfriend, that you rent one instead."

Confused, I shifted my weight on my feet and looked down. "Rent instead of buy?"

He nodded and motioned toward a piano behind me. "It is more cost effective in the short term and if the relationship should…end, then you can just return it."

Even though I realized he was right and just being practical, the doubt in his voice hurt and I sucked in a breath, but I nodded and let him lead me to a piano in the corner.

"This is a refurbished baby grand Steinway. It's about ten years old, completely tuned up and ready to go," he introduced the piano as if it was one of his family. The tone he used was caring as he went into details about the workings of it. He had lost me back at Steinway, but I listened faithfully and nodded when I was supposed to. He might as well be telling me about rocket science.

His chatter made no sense to me, but when he sat and played, and the music soared around us, it was a done deal. He got lost in his music, closing his eyes and swaying to the beats until he pressed the last note.

"How much would it cost to rent this one?"

Standing, he straightened his vest and walked back to the counter. "Let me check for you." He shuffled through some papers and then pulled one out. "Two hundred a month. You get one free tune up and the rest are fifty dollars each. You need to pay for first and last month now."

Four hundred dollars was a shitload more affordable than thirty thousand.

"Deal," I smiled.

"There is also a delivery charge," he added, pushing his glasses up onto the bridge of his nose."Where do you live?"

I told him and he visibly cringed. "That's an apartment building, right?"

"Yes, is that a problem?" I asked. It had never occurred to me how the piano would get into my place, I just knew I wanted one.

"Do you have a balcony?"

"Yes, but it's small."

"Floor?"

"Fifth."

He wrote a few things down, and made a quick phone call where he mentioned cranes and lifts. After hanging up, he looked at me. "It will be about two thousand for delivery, maybe a bit less once we see what we're working with when we get there."

"No problem," I said confidently. "But can it be delivered by Friday?"

He looked over his calendar. "I think so, Thursday morning looks clear, does that work for you?"

I rarely had day clients, but checked my Blackberry anyway, relieved to see my day was empty except for one client later that night. Once I agreed to Thursday, he filled out the rental agreement, explaining all the terms before he had me sign it and hand him four hundred dollars.

"Do I pay for the delivery charge now too?"

"No, you can pay the delivery company that day," he said as he handed me my copy of the receipt. "I hope your boyfriend enjoys it for a long time," he said, smiling.

_Boyfriend._

A word I had said for the first time only minutes before, and yet it sounded so natural coming from him. Admittedly too fucking much like a teenage girl, hearing Edward referred to as my boyfriend warmed my heart and awoke the pull.

I had never even considered the possibility of having a boyfriend. I mean, I was a hooker, I sold my body for money to anyone that wanted it, I had been raped, homeless, and my best friend was drug addicted whore. Who the hell would want to deal with all that shit?

_Boyfriend._

I almost fucking giggled.

"Me too," I agreed. After I put the paper into my pocket, I held out my hand. "Thank you for all your help. I appreciate it."

He shook my hand and then said he would call the next day to confirm the delivery time. With a new bounce in my step, I left the store and headed back to the apartment to make space for Edward's piano.

"**~~**"

"But I can't see," he sighed.

And even though he couldn't see, I rolled my eyes. "I know, that's the idea of a blindfold, baby," I chuckled. I had one arm around his back resting on his waist while my other firmly held his hip. Leaning close, I inhaled his scent, reacquainting myself with his odor of cologne and fresh mint.

Hopefully in a few hours he would smell more like musk and cum.

I had been nervous all day, walking around the piano several times, even sitting on the bench and touching the keys to make sure they all worked. It had been delivered the day before and after a few hours of hoisting it carefully, it was sitting in my living room where my desk used to be. Edward and I had been in touch throughout most of the week, sending a few messages, talking every night and even enjoying another webcam session. Once he had arrived in Seattle, he stayed at the hotel until I had returned home from a client.

After I had showered and dressed in jeans and tee shirt, I tried sitting on my couch to wait for him to arrive. Instead, I paced, drank a beer and cleaned up. Again.

"Jasper," he whined, one of his arms sticking out in front of him to feel his way while his other hand rested on mine at his hip, his fingers gripping my own. "Can I take it off yet?

"No."

"Ow," he cried out as his knee hit the side of my coffee table.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Good thing you're cute and a good fuck, because you won't get a job leading the blind," he teased.

"You think I'm cute?" I asked, grinning.

"Oh, did I say cute? I mean gorgeous, beautif-OW, Jasper!" he yelled when he walked into the leather chair.

"Sorry," I laughed, finally stopping in front of the piano. "So, I have a surprise for you," I began.

"I gathered, considering you accosted me at the door, didn't even let me inside before tossing a blindfold at me, which by the way, I am wondering why you have, and telling me to put it on."

I let the questioning of the blindfold slide. It was just one of many toys I owned for work.

"Jasper, I thought the idea of me coming over to your place was to actually _see _your place?"

"See my place _and_ see this," I said, taking a deep breath. Releasing him, I moved behind him, my hands resting on the silk blindfold. "Ready?" I whispered into his ear and felt his entire body shudder as he nodded.

Slowly, I lifted the blindfold, my heart stopping as I revealed his surprise. As soon as he could see, I heard him gasp. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rested my chin on his shoulder, my bottom lip tucked between my teeth.

He was silent, his chest heaving a bit as he just stood there and stared at it. Did he not like it? Was it not a good enough?

"Baby?" I choked out nervously as my heart began to race. Perhaps it was good thing I had only rented it. "Is it…is it not okay?"

Letting him go, I went to his side and looked at him.

A single tear rolled down his perfect cheek.

"Baby?" I prompted, reaching for his hand.

Finally, he spoke. "Did you, did you get this for me?"

"Well, I certainly didn't get it for me, Edward," I laughed. "Yeah, I got it for you," I confirmed.

"It's beautiful," he sighed and let go of my hand. He walked around the piano, touching it everywhere, running his fingers along the top, the sides until finally he let them dance along the keys, hitting a few notes. "Why?"

Smiling, I watched him. He treated it with such respect and reverence and tenderness, like welcoming an old lover back into his life.

"Because I thought you might want to play when you're here," I shrugged. "I mean you like to play in the morning at the hotel, so I thought when you come here you might want to-"

Taking two strides forward, he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine in a bruising kiss. His hands were on my hips, pulling my body flush to his as his mouth crushed mine, his tongue plunging through my parted lips to explore and taste and refamiliarize. Moaning into the kiss, I reached for his hair, twisting one hand into it while the other wrapped around his neck as I tilted my head and deepened the kiss even more. For long moments, we remained connected like that, the energy our bodies created enveloping us, the pull in my chest easing the longer we touched, the heaviness of his absence fading as hands firmly gripped and held.

He broke the kiss, resting his forehead to mine, his ragged breaths washing over my face. At my hips, his fingers worked their way under my tee shirt, the tips of them grazing along the skin right above my jeans.

"I can't believe you bought me a piano," he whispered.

"Actually, I only rented it. I didn't realize how fucking expensive they were," I admitted shyly.

"It doesn't matter how it's here. I don't care if you stole it, I just can't believe you thought to get one," he replied. "This is the best present anyone has ever gotten me," he sighed, leaning in for another kiss. "Ever."

Our tongues tangled again, he tasted of coffee and liquor, intoxicating me as the heat of him flowed through my body. I pulled away, holding the back of his head with one hand, I forced it to the side and worked my lips over his clean shaven jaw line and down his neck. The small moans he released only encouraged my feasting.

"Love, I think we should," he started, and then stopped, groaning loudly as I reached the spot behind his ear. "I think we should Christian it."

Lifting my lips from his neck, I looked at him. "Christen it?"

I had no fucking idea what he was talking about. Who was Christen?

When he saw my confusion, he reworded his request. "Break it in."

"Oh, you want to play it?" I realized, stepping back. "Sure, I'd love to hear you play."

Shaking his head, he smiled at me and cupped my face in his palms. "I don't want to play it, well, I do, but not right now. Right now, I want you to fuck me on it."

"Oh." The grin slowly spread on my face as I instantly saw Edward on the piano, spread and needy. "I think I can do that," I murmured, pulling him back into my arms and returning my lips to his neck. "Baby, take off your clothes," I instructed as I got the ball rolling my yanking his shirt from his pants.

Breaking my hold, he took a step back and started undoing the buttons on his shirt, shedding it before moving to his the zipper on his pants.

"Kind of hard to fuck me dressed, Jasper," he said when I hadn't started taking off my own clothes yet. I had been too enthralled with watching him, the way he moved so easily and comfortably. In my work, I had seen my fair share of naked men, some I wanted to bleach from my memory, but then there were the rare few like Edward, that possessed something otherworldly about their physical selves.

No one could make me feel the way he did when he was nude before me, giving and vulnerable.

"Jasper?" he said, beginning to feel self conscious as I stared at him hungrily. Seconds later, I was as naked as he was and lifting him as he wrapped his legs around my waist. Pressed against me, his cock captured between our bodies, he leaned in and our lips met again, insistent, urgent and fucking craving as I sat his ass on the top of the shiny veneer. Even though there was a piano in the room, the air was filled with the cadence of moans and groans as we rubbed our engorged cocks together. His arms were slung over my shoulders, his hips moving forward as much as I would allow as he sought out what friction there was. My own hips mirrored his motion, the juices from our cocks mixing as they slid together effortlessly.

There was so much I wanted to do. I wanted to suck him, I wanted to fuck his face, I wanted to finger him and watch him move, I wanted to kiss him and never stop.

But most of all, I wanted to be inside him; I wanted to feel him in every way around me. That undeniable need took control and I released the hold I had on his hips.

"Need you now. Can't wait," I mumbled, but I let him go and moved to my desk. I felt him watching me as I grabbed the lube and a condom, wondering if he would ask why I kept them in my desk. Opening the condom as I walked back to him, I tossed the wrapper on the floor and threw him the lube. Reaching out, he grabbed it from the air and clicked it open to squirt some on his fingers before he brought one foot up and placed it flat on the piano.

"Jesus," I groaned when he let his knee fall to the side, spreading his legs and tracing his hole with his middle finger. Watching me from under his thick lashes, he slowly inserted his finger, releasing a sound of pleasure as he pressed it further inside. Absently, I rolled the condom onto my cock, feeling it throb as I watched my boy ready himself for me.

Edward finger fucking himself on the piano was the single most erotic thing I had ever seen.

Standing out from my curls, my cock twitched when he added a second finger and began to scissor them in preparation. Between his legs, his thick cock seeped liberally, the clear fluid running from his slit, down the head, following the path of a bulging vein.

"So…so…fucking hot," I stumbled over the most basic of words. When he added a third finger and lolled his head back in a long groan, I covered the short distance between us and grabbed his wrist, stopping his motions. "You better be ready because I am going to fuck you now."

My hands gripped his hips, frantically pulling his ass to the edge of the piano, enjoying the way his breath caught in his throat as he lifted his head to watch me enter him. Placing my cock at his entrance, I gently pushed forward, watching his body initially resist, then accept the intrusion.

"Oh fuck," he called out, collapsing back onto the piano. "Feels so fucking good."

Attempting to control my pace, my breaths were already labored. Greedily, I wanted to sink into him, go balls deep, pull out and then do it all again, but instead, I entered inch by inch until his body enveloped and owned mine.

Being with Edward was a blow to my ego. Before him, I had stamina, I could fuck Riley forever, but with Edward, as soon as my cock was in him, the warmth in my body began to coil low and my balls began to draw up tight. As hard as I tried and as much I wanted to, there was no holding back when I made love to Edward.

Especially not like that.

Before me he lay, his lean body almost vampire pale against the black of the piano, needing and wanton. Shameless in his desire, he arched his back, thrusting his hips to meet mine as he stretched his arms above his head, pulling his skin taut across his muscles, defining each crevice and indentation.

"Fuck yes," he almost yelled and I couldn't help but smile. Reaching out, I ran my hands over his chest and abdomen, tweaking his nipples to entice a hiss from his velvet lips. Never stopping my assault on his ass, my hips kept a languid rhythmic pace.

"You like that, baby? You like getting fucked on the piano?" I asked breathlessly.

"I like getting fucked by you," he corrected me before releasing a guttural groan. "Jesus, love, the stuff you do to me…unreal," he stuttered. Keeping one hand on his thigh, I eased my cock in and out of him while I took his into my fist. "Fuck yes, touch me. Fuck me and touch me."

Obeying, I began to pump his dick in long, even strokes, feeling his cock twitch in my hand as his body tried to decide between seeking my fist or my cock. On one particularly deep thrust, he screamed my name and gripped the edge of the piano behind his head for leverage. Stilling, I ground my hips into him, spreading his legs further apart, in order to brush against his gland again.

"Yeah, yeah, right there, yeah," he repeated. The slight sheen of sweat on his body created squeaking noises as he moved against the veneer. I reveled in the sight of him, my own body reacting to each of his cries as I chased both our orgasms. The more urgent the need to come became, the more I reminded myself he was there all night, we could fuck again in a few hours if we wanted to, that I could do this to him until he couldn't walk. Moving in and out of him as slowly as I could possibly manage, I jerked him off, his cock throbbing in my hand as he neared his own climax.

"Feel my cock, baby, so deep in you. Filling up your ass, making you mine," I said lowly, my voice straining from effort. Never before had I ever seen anything more beautiful. I vaguely remembered the Gulf of Mexico, I had seen the skyline of Seattle from a rooftop, and the setting sun over the Texas horizon, but none of it compared to the vision that was Edward.

I stopped moving, Edward gasping and writhing beneath me. Looking down at his beautiful body displayed for me, just for me, I was in awe of everything about him. From the simplest to the most complex, from the way he laughed to the way he literally stole my breath. The grasp he had on my soul, my heart, was overwhelming, and honestly, fucking scary.

I didn't want to be alone in feeling it.

I had to know.

Lifting my hand to his cheek, I brushed the backs of my fingers along his flushed skin as I rocked forward in a long, unhurried thrust.

"Do you feel it too? Please tell me you feel it," I murmured to him.

"I feel it, love," he whispered, setting my soul at ease as he gazed at me with hooded eyes.

Sighing, I kept my hand on his face while my other stroked his cock and I resumed thrusting. I felt his ass clenching around my cock, the contracting of his muscles strong as his orgasm approached.

"You gonna come, baby?" I asked, quickening my pace on his cock and in his ass. "I wanna hear you come, want see you come for me."

"Yeah," he agreed through harsh breaths. "Oh fuck!"

"Look at me," I growled when his eyes drifted closed as his orgasm overpowered him. His cock pulsed, and then erupted in my fist, spraying ribbons of cum onto his abdomen, my hand pumping him through it. Green eyes never left mine, holding me with the swell of emotion in them, lust ebbing to desire and then to passion, finally cresting to something so deep and full and familiar. Something I had been unable to define, name or categorize.

It was a lot more than fucking, even more than making love. It was a connection rare and unique and intense.

It was the pull.

He felt the pull too.

Knowing that, my cock jerked inside him, shooting seed deep in his warmth as my entire body caved to the sweet fire that rolled throughout me. I couldn't even warn him, my heart so enraptured with the boy before me, I thought of nothing else but being with him, of our souls entwining on another level. Falling on top of him, my hips still grinding into his, I felt his arms immediately wrap around me as the last of my orgasm left me.

"Jesus," he sighed, his hands skimming along the curves of my back. "Love, you okay?" he asked after a few moments when I hadn't moved.

My chest heaved against his, my cock began to soften inside him, and my mind reeled with what had just happened. The pulls had met, tugging on each other deep inside us, mingling so much that I could no longer tell where his ended and mine began. Lifting my head, I put my chin on his chest and looked at him. He smiled tenderly at me, his fingers brushing the damp curls from my face before weaving deep into my hair.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I finally replied, my tongue darting out to lick my lips as I watched him do the same. "Do you have any fucking clue how fucking sexy you are?"

The blush that rushed his cheeks was instant and beautiful and raw. "It's the piano," he teased.

"No, it's all you," I argued. Lazily, I reached between us, holding onto my cock as I slipped it, sated, from his body. Without looking, I pulled the condom off and let it fall the floor, reminding myself to clean it up later, before peppering his chest with open mouth kisses. "Most definitely all you."

"It's not me, it's us," he challenged softly. When I reached where his cum lay smeared, I lapped him clean. "Holy shit. Oh God, oh God, holy shit," he repeated, his entire body quivering under my touch until I had licked him clean.

"Mmm, you're right, maybe it is us," I finally agree before moving up him to take his lips with mine. We kissed for a long time, our flesh stuck together with sweat and cum. Realizing I must be crushing Edward with my weight, I braced myself up on my elbows, my mouth never leaving his, our tongues in constant contact.

Finally, I broke the kiss. "Baby?"

"Yeah?" His fingers grazed along my shoulders and over my collarbone. Moaning, I tried to remember what I was going to say.

"I forgot what I was going to say. You make it so fucking hard to concentrate," I sighed.

"I make you hard," he replied, twisting my words. My cock twitched against his and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"That too," I chuckled. "But we can do that later…again and again. Right now, I want to hear you play for me." Pushing up on my hands, I eased myself off him and stood up, holding my hand out to him.

"Can I wash up first?"

"Nope. Washing later, playing for me now," I coaxed him. Letting me pull him off the piano, he stretched. Not even taking the time to dress, he went to the bench and sat down, patting the spot next to him.

"Sit," he demanded and I followed, sitting next to him so that we touched from shoulder to knee. Dramatically, but with a smile, he flexed his fingers over the keys before placing them down. "What do you want to hear?"

"That song that you play every morning at the hotel, that pretty one I like," I suggested. Nodding, he began, his hands moved over the keys with grace and skill and a talent that people rarely have. As his fingers danced along the keys, he became one with the piano; it was an extension of himself as they created the beautiful music together. I watched his body sway back and forth with the highs and lows of the song as it powerfully embraced us both. I felt the muscles in his arms moving as I lay my head on his shoulders. He played from memory, from what he saw in his head, and I wanted to close my eyes and focus on it but I couldn't stop watching his long fingers press the black and white bars. Finally, he finished, punctuating the end of the song with a final note.

There was a silence for a few seconds and then I sighed.

"Baby, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard," I said, placing a kiss on his cheek, loving the way it pinked under my compliment. "What is it called again?"

"Claire de Lune," he answered.

"It's great. You play it beautifully." I motioned toward the piano. "So how is it? Will it be okay?"He shifted his weight and turned toward me a bit before reaching up and tucking a curl behind my ear.

"It's absolutely perfect, love," he whispered before curling his hand around my neck and pulling me to him, brushing his lips along mine. Parting them, he rested his forehead to mine and released a long breath. "Now that you have thoroughly fucked me, I think it's time you show me around your place."

Laughing, I stood up, tugging him with me and then taking his hand into mine. Naked, I showed him around the kitchen and bathroom before practically dragging him down the hallway to my bedroom. He groaned when he saw the king size bed. He walked around the edges of my room, touching a few things on my dresser, even opening my closet before returning to me at the end of the bed.

"You have a really nice place," he commented.

"Probably not as nice as yours," I smirked.

"You're here. That definitely makes it nicer than mine. You know what I want to do?" he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What?"

He nodded toward the bed. "I want to get into that huge bed with you curled next to me and watch a movie," he declared simply.

"That can be arranged," I agree, releasing him and kissing the top of his nose. Excited that I was going to watch the movie, I hadn't had the time to watch it in a few weeks. Suddenly, I felt so…normal, domesticated even.

"Where do you keep your DVDs?" he asked, glancing around my room. My eyes immediately dropped to the floor and I felt foolish. It hadn't occurred me that he might have another movie in mind, that that one movie I owned might not be the one he wanted to watch.

"Um, I…um…"

"What?"

Biting my lip, I kept my eyes on the floor, focusing on his bare feet while I tried to think how to explain.

"Jasper?" His fingers were under my chin lifting and forcing me to meet his gaze. Emerald green eyes sparkled in the darkness of my room.

"I only have one movie," I admitted quietly. It had been one of the first purchases I had made after getting a paycheck. He was probably expecting some action movie, or at the very least, something more recent than 1939.

"Okay, we'll watch that," he shrugged. "What is it?"

Now I was really embarrassed. I had to tell my…_boyfriend_ that the only movie I owned was one geared toward kids less than half my age.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. "The Wizard of Oz."

When he was silent, I opened my eyes and found him trying very hard not to smile but the corners of his lips were twitching and turning up despite his efforts. Sighing, I sat down on the bed.

"Go ahead, say it." I looked up at him.

"Say what?"

"How childish, immature, foolish…"

He sat down next to me and took my hands into his. "How innocent, pure and adorable it is that you own the Wizard of Oz?"

Shocked, I looked at him.

"It's all those things. It's also pretty fucking sexy that you can fuck me on a piano like your life depended on it and then take me to your bed and watch the Wizard of Oz with me. Those two things are such opposites, and yet, so very you."

Grinning, I jumped up. "So we can watch it then? Because it's been a few weeks since I've seen it. Can we have popcorn too?" I asked eagerly.

"Popcorn sounds perfect," he agreed. "Want me to make it?"

"Nope," I said as I popped the DVD in. "I'll do it, but don't start it without me, okay?" Still naked, I darted from the room without waiting for his reply and went to the kitchen, tossed a bag in the microwave, and paced impatiently while I waited for it to pop.

When I returned to him with the big bowl of popcorn, he was sitting against the headboard, his legs apart, ready for me to crawl between. He looked so comfortable, so…perfectly at home on my bed. My heart ached in my chest, the pressure of its swelling painful and warm at the same time. Reaching out, he patted between his legs.

"C'mere," he said. Running, I jumped onto the bed, grabbing the remote off the table and settling in front of him, his legs closing in around me as I lay back against his chest. Pointing the remote to the television, I pressed play and put the bowl next to us on the bed.

The music started and I felt the chill I always did when I watched it, but I felt something else too. Something I almost didn't know, but barely recognized from my past.

I felt happy. Content.

I felt home.

Snacking on handfuls of popcorn, we watched Dorothy fight the evil Mrs. Gulch, save Toto and survive a twister. It wasn't until she had landed in Munchkinland and sang her story that I heard Edward giggle behind me, his chest vibrating against my back.

Leaning, I looked at him. "What?"

"I can't believe I am laying here, naked, eating popcorn and watching The Wizard of Oz with you. You're so cute. I love the way your eyes lit up when she landed and the good witch came." His nose nuzzled along my ear. "Jasper…I…you amaze me."

I wasn't sure what I had done that made me amazing, but I lifted my head for a kiss. It was my turn to giggle.

"I love the lollypop guild," I exclaimed when they came on. When I started to sing along with them, imitating them perfectly, Edward shook his head, laughing.

"Her shoes are so pretty," I said wistfully.

"Yes, they are," he agreed. "Can I ask you a question?" His arm tightened around my waist while his fingers constantly ran through my hair, I swear I was purring under his caress.

"Sure," I said, my eyes firmly on Dorothy as she began her journey down the yellow brick road.

"Why The Wizard of Oz?"

I sighed. Telling him meant exposing parts of my childhood I hadn't told anyone but Riley. It meant breaching a new part of our relationship, one that might cause him to run in the other direction. After I was silent, debating on how to answer his question, he put his lips at my ear.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me," he whispered.

Ignoring him I started. "When I was a kid, it was on every year around Thanksgiving. My mama always took the time to sit and watch it with me. It was a rare few hours that she wasn't…" I wanted to say high, but I opted for lying. "busy. She would make us popcorn and cuddle with me on the couch. I remember her eyes would watch with wonder, she knew all the words to the songs and we would both sing along with them."

I left out the details of how the couch was so worn she had to cover the springs up with a thick blanket, or that the sometimes the popcorn we ate had been my first meal in days, or that as soon as the movie had ended, she would shoo me off to bed so she and my father could have some 'fun'. I neglected to tell him that watching The Wizard of Oz with her was the happiest memory of my childhood.

I felt his lips against my cheek as he placed a kiss there.

"Whenever the wicked witch came on, I always hid under the covers, pressing myself against her chest and she'd wrap her arms around me and remind me it was only a movie, that the wicked witch wasn't real."

Only later, when I had been ripped from my family by the Department of Child and Family Services did I realize my mother had been wrong. The wicked witch did exist and her name was Mrs. Felch.

"We always laughed at the lion and scarecrow, but the tin man was her favorite. She used to tell me that all you needed was a heart, you didn't need courage or brains, just a heart." I sighed before continuing. "She would always tell me that whenever I got scared, no matter where I was, if I closed my eyes, tapped my heels and repeated 'there's no place like home', that everything would be okay. Nothing could hurt me," I finished quietly.

She had been wrong again though. No matter how many times I had mumbled those very words into the thin pillow of my cot at the Home while Ian panted above me, I had still been hurt. No longer did I believe they could save me, but instead I used the words as a way to calm myself down when I felt too out of control.

Somehow Edward knew. Even without giving him the details of what had happened, he sensed some of the pain I had gone through. His arm tightened around me even more, and he wrapped his legs around my hips as he placed kisses along my forehead and cheek.

"Nothing's going to hurt you anymore," he promised. "Not while I'm around, love."

"Thanks, baby."

"Who is your favorite?" he asked, changing the subject.

"The lion," I answered quickly. As a child, my favorite had been the Tin Man like my mama, but over the years, I realized it wasn't a heart that was going to help me survive, it was courage. "What about you?"

"Scarecrow," he chuckled. "In my family, having brains is everything and I went to the best schools to be sure that I had them. But the lion is definitely the cutest."

I nodded and let my body sink into his, letting his arms and warmth keep me safe as my eyes drifted closed before Dorothy had even arrived in the Emerald City. And on my bed, covered in the residue of cum and sweat with the sounds of Dorothy lulling us, we feel asleep in a tangle of arms and legs and hearts full of the pull.

"**~~**

The knocking was loud and instant. Vaguely I heard the title music for the movie playing over and over as I stretched and felt his warm body secured to mine in his sleep. My nose was buried into the crook of his neck, his pulse beating strong as I inhaled his scent, smiling when I realized he no longer smelled like cologne and mint.

He most definitely smelled like musk and cum.

Snuggling deeper into him, I tried to ignore the knocking, but it continued. I lifted my head and listened more closely and realized it was on my door. Rolling onto my back, I glanced at the clock and saw it was just after three in the morning.

_Riley._

Careful not to wake Edward, I climbed out of bed and grabbed my cotton sleep pants from the chair, not bothering to put anything on under them.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm coming," I called out as I stumbled down the hall, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I swung the door open, not surprised to see him standing there, shifting his weight nervously back and forth as he kept glancing down the hallway. As soon as the door was open enough, he squeezed through.

"Come in," I growled, closing the door behind him. Dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans, he actually looked clean. I might have even smelled soap mixed in with the distinct odor of sex as he walked by. Out of habit, I glanced at his hands and eyes for signs of twitching and redness.

And other than the typical bags from lack of sleep, I found none.

For once, he wasn't high.

"A fucking piano?" he asked as he noticed its huge presence in the room. "Didn't know you played. You look comfortable," he said, raising an eyebrow while his eyes appreciatively roamed over my naked torso, until they settled on my barely covered cock hanging heavy between my legs.

He was hyper. It was an aftereffect of working the street some nights. The energy we stored to do the work was hard to burn off, it would simmer until it would start to boil over, and Riley was at that point. Reflexively, I glance down the hall to my bedroom.

Folding my arms across my chest, I yawned. "What do you want, Rile?"

He closed the distance between us, not bothering to disguise the look of want he wore. "Jas, this hot guy just picked me up and I gave him head. You should have seen him; he was built for fucking porn with a long, fucking cock. I wanted him to fuck me, but he just wanted a blow. Jesus, got me so fucking hard." He paused, reaching down he grabbed himself through his jeans. My eyes darted down the hall as I took a few steps toward Riley.

"He wouldn't let me get off, Jas. I even offered to jack off for him for free but he said no, he had to go. I need to cum so fucking bad, Jas. I had him drop me off here hoping you could relieve the ache," he smirked, and before I could stop him, he was already pulling off his sweatshirt. "I need you to fuck me, Jas, please."

"Rile," I started, and he stopped, something catching his eye. When he wasn't high, Riley had the same powers of observation I did and he was fucking observant then. I saw his nose crinkle at the scent of sex still sitting thick in air, his eyes darted around the room…to the scatted clothes on the floor by the piano.

Tensing, I waited for it.

"You're not alone," he stated slowly, almost in disbelief. My bottom lip found its way in between my teeth and I glanced down the hall again, wishing like fuck I had thought to close my bedroom door. "Oh my God, you're not. Who is it?"

"No one," I answered automatically. "You need to go."

"A _client_?" he asked, ignoring my request.

"No," I denied quietly, but it was too late. I saw Riley's eyes widen and then focus behind me. I didn't have to look to know Edward was standing behind me.

"Holy shit," Riley mumbled. Glancing over my shoulder, I confirmed Edward's presence. He must have gone through my dresser because sitting very low on his hips, with glimpses of his auburn hair peeking out from the waistband, were my Tasmanian devil sleep pants. Bare-chested, his hair sticking up in every direction from sex and our closeness during sleep, he looked absolutely fucking delicious. My gaze went to his dick, knowing his briefs were sitting on the floor a few feet from us.

"Everything okay?" he asked in sleepy, husky voice as he self consciously ran a hand over his chest. He moved to my side, standing possessively close but not quite touching, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Jesus," Riley moaned, licking his lips. "He sounds as good as he looks."

"Don't drool, Riley."

He took a step closer to us, his eyes never leaving the bronze-haired god next to me. Edward watched Riley warily, if not slightly confused, as Riley closed the distance between them.

"Fuck, Jasper. He is one fine piece of ass. Nice cock too, I bet," Riley whistled. Next me, I saw Edward's cheeks flush at the compliment and under Riley's intense, hungry stare. Embarrassed, Edward glanced at me, the look in his eyes the same one I had seen at the dance club when the guy had hit on him.

And that guy had been an amateur. Riley was a fucking professional, and very good at the art of seduction. I knew because I had fallen victim to it many times.

Riley was horny was fuck, his cock was visibly straining against his jeans. Edward didn't have a chance.

Walking up to Edward, Riley stood right in front of him, his fingers twitching at his side in effort to not reach out and skim along Edward.

"Jas, are you going to be a good host and introduce me to your boy toy?" he asked me, but his eyes never moved from Edward. "Mmmm, I bet he likes your cock. Not that I can blame-"

"Rile, please go," I interrupted. Even as I said the words, I knew they would be ignored, but I had at least stopped this train of thought. Unable to stop himself any longer, Riley reached up with a hand and ran the tips of his fingers along Edward's collarbone. Edward flinched slightly, his eyes darting to me, but he let Riley touch him.

"What do you say, gorgeous? How about we give you a three way? A little ménage a toi?" His voice dropped even lower, taking on a husky purr. "Ever been DP'd?"

Edward's breath caught in his throat, but he found his voice. "DP'd?"

A slow grin eased over Riley's face as he glanced at me with a quirked brow. "Oh, he is precious, Jasper," he said to me before turning his attention back to Edward. "Double penetration, darling. Two cocks in your ass, double the pleasure and all."

I felt Edward's fingers crawl into my hand by my side as Riley's continued to weave Edward into his seduction.

Honestly, I had to admit the thought of Edward, Riley and I having sex had been an occasional part of my fantasies, but it was never anything I had ever thought would become a reality. Fuck, I had never expected them to met, much less have Edward standing there while Riley openly hit on him.

And I liked it.

In my thin pants, my cock twitched several times. Watching Riley work was always a turn on, somehow he made his eyes sparkle more, his smile brighter and his hair irresistibly so soft you had to run your fingers through it. It was undeniably hot, and the fact that he was using his magic on Edward made it even hotter. Edward wore the same enamored look on his face that everyone did when they met Riley, entranced by the straight lines of Riley's cheeks and nose, the strong curve of his jaw, even the rugged length of his dark hair.

There was something mysterious about Riley, a rebellious aura about him that drew people in. Whether it was contrived or natural, I had yet to figure out.

"Oh," Edward choked out, his blush deepening. "Um, I don't…I don't…I mean, I haven't done that. It sounds painful."

"Always a first time, beautiful. And I promise, we'll be real gentle, won't we, Jasper?"

It wouldn't be the first time Riley and I had fucked the same guy. Hell, it wouldn't even been the first time we had double penetrated a guy, but I knew Edward wasn't quite ready for that yet.

"Riley," I began, coming to Edward's rescue.

"Mmm?" he hummed, never taking his eyes off his target. When his fingers grazed along Edward's chest, his touch feather light, I heard Edward inhale sharply.

"Riley," I repeated, my fingers tightening around Edward's to reassure him. From the way his body was reacting I couldn't tell if he was scared, incredibly turned on, or perhaps a bit of both.

Before I could stop him, Riley's fingers were at the waistband of the Tasmanian devil pants, running along the top of the elastic. Lowering his hand, he brushed the backs of his fingers over Edward's cock. Edward whimpered, his fingers clutching mine.

"RILEY!" I snapped, and his eyes lazily left Edward look at me. If anyone could make you feel like you were the only person that existed, it was Riley. "Stop," I warned him. "Edward doesn't want to."

Although a part of me hoped he secretly did, and that part was growing harder by the second.

Riley sighed, but not in defeat, and rubbed Edward's cock harder. "Edward. What a fucking sexy name. Edward," he said, letting the name roll of his tongue. "What do you say, Edward, you want to enjoy two dicks for the price of one?"

"Um…" Edward began, his lush lips between his teeth as he actually considered Riley's offer, but I felt his hand in mind, saw the muscles where I had licked his cum off tense, his eyes glancing to mine for an answer. For a second, I wondered if he wanted me to make the decision, that if it was something I wanted to do, he would do it, for me.

But I didn't want Edward to do it for me, and I wasn't sure I wanted to share Edward with anyone. The thought of it definitely excited me, but he wasn't ready to be tag teamed.

Gripping his hand firmly, I gave him my answer.

"I don't think so," he finally replied to Riley in the confident tone I was used to hearing. Riley's brows arched at the answer, he had thought Edward was a sure thing.

Riley's fingers worked back and forth over Edward's crotch and he leaned in to Edward, putting his lips right at Edward's ear. "Are you sure, beautiful? I promise it will be a night you won't ever forget."

Edward's eyes drifted closed and he nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

Instantly, Riley's demeanor changed and he backed off a bit, allowing some space between him and Edward. Had it been me, Riley would have persisted, and probably won, but he wasn't going to embarrass himself in front of Edward.

"Okay then, well if you ever change your mind, Jasper knows where to find me," he smiled and winked at my boy. Then Riley looked at me. "You really need to get me a job with you if all your fucking clients are this fucking hot. No wonder you like your job so much."

Regardless of being declined a three way, Riley finished pulling off his sweatshirt and tossed it on the couch before glancing at joined hands between Edward and I. "Edward, it's been a long night and I'm horny as fuck. You don't mind if I borrow our boy here do you? I promise it'll be quick and I'll have him back to you in a few minutes."

I think I actually heard Edward's jaw hit the floor as he gaped at Riley. I had expected an immediate and definite no to fall from his lips, but he said nothing, he just stared at Riley as I watched the color of his eyes change, darkening at the suggestion.

He was actually considering it.

I shouldn't have been surprised, Edward was a voyeur, he got off on watching others, the dancers at the club, the idea of thousands watching while I fucked him on his balcony, giving him a hand job in public, or a blow job in the back of the car while Aro watched, they all turned him on beyond words. Watching others have the freedom of expression he didn't excited him. Watching me and Riley would be like live porn for him.

As he considered it, Riley began to strip, his shirt landing on the couch, his hands moving quickly to his jeans.

"Riley," I began but Edward interrupted.

"Yeah, I do mind actually," he said slowly, as if he wasn't completely sure. Riley's hands halted on the zipper of his pants and he looked up at Edward and sighed.

"It's just fucking, Edward," he said, trying to convince him, and Edward swallowed at the words, images of Riley and I flashing behind his lust filled eyes. Sighing, Riley left his pants undone, the flap open as his cock protruded through.

Underwear was rarely an option for Riley.

"Jesus, Rile," I scolded him. "Put your dick away."

Ignoring me, he took himself in his fist, glancing down at his cock before looking at Edward, who was licking his lips at Riley's motion. My closeted boy hadn't seen much dick, and Riley's was a sight.

"How about you then? Want to suck me off? Let me fuck your face for awhile?" Riley offered, a smirk playing at his lips as he watched Edward fall deeper into his trance.

"Riley," I sighed. "Leave him alone, he said no."

As his hand stroked himself, Riley let his head loll back. "I never heard him say no to that," Riley corrected me. "Whatta say, Edward? Want to taste my cock? I guarantee I taste better than Jas does."

Edward's pink tongue poked out between his lips, but he shook his head.

"There's your no," I smiled at Riley. "Now put your cock away and go."

Instead, he plopped down on the couch, his hand leisurely pumping himself. "Fuck, help a friend out here, boys. Either fuck me, blow me or let me jerk off. How about you two fuck and I watch?"

"Fuck, Rile," I growled. He was a persistent fucker.

"How about he gives me a blow job and we let you watch?" The voice sounded familiar, and it took me a few seconds to realize it had come from next to me. Stunned, I looked at Edward.

"Works for me," Riley said eagerly, lifting his hips to pull his pants down to his ankles. "Don't mind if I get comfortable, do you? Oh, and I want him," he motioned to Edward. "Naked."

"Excuse us," I snarled at Riley as I tugged Edward into the hallway. "Baby, what are you doing?"

"I'm helping your friend out," he said, glancing over my shoulder to wear Riley sat, his cock in his hand, his head resting on the back of the couch. "Or is he a client?"

"No," I snorted. "He's not a client. He's a…colleague of sorts."

"An escort?"

"No, a hooker," I whispered. "A very good one."

"I can tell," he said, blushing.

"You have no idea," I said, shaking my head. "You don't have to do this; I can get him to leave."

Edward cupped my face with his hands. "I want to do this, love. I'm almost as worked up as he is at the idea."

Then I realized why.

He was claiming me.

By having me on my knees before him, while Riley only got to watch, was empowering to Edward, to say nothing of encouraging his voyeurism. He wanted to show Riley I was his.

And I would let him.

"Okay, if you're sure, I'll do it."

He leaned in, placing a lingering kiss on my lips. "Positive. I need this, love, please give it to me."

Nodding, I took his hand and led him back to the living room, ready to give him the blow job of his life. A lazy smile hovered on Riley's face as he watched us walk back in; he knew it was a done deal.

The cocky fucker.

"Him. Naked," he reminded me as I stopped Edward in front of the couch, a perfect view for Riley. While we were gone, Riley had taken off his sneakers and jeans. He sat with his legs spread wide, his cock in his loose fist. This would be one blow job where Edward would not be concentrating on me. His eyes were glued to Riley on the couch, the way he sat so comfortably, so easily, completely naked in front of a stranger. It was a freedom that excited Edward to no end.

Slowly, I lowered myself to my knees in front of Edward and looked up at him one last time. He nodded, the blush spreading down his neck and over his chest.

"Oh, shit, that is beautiful," Riley sighed. Grabbing the elastic of the cotton pants, I pulled them down, letting Edward's hard cock spring free.

"Fuccckkk," Riley groaned next to me. I had positioned Edward so that Riley could see everything, Edward's cock and my mouth about eye level with Riley, and Edward had an unobstructed view of Riley.

I slid the pants down Edward's muscular legs, exposing his sac and ass gradually, until he stepped out of them and stood completely naked before me. With one last wink at Riley, I stuck out my tongue and dragged it up Edward's length, base to head, along the thick vein before swirling it around the reddened head. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Riley's hips lift to meet his hand. Teasingly, I lowered my head even further, taking one of Edward's balls into my mouth, nipping at the wrinkled skin.

"Shit," Edward moaned.

"More," Riley growled at my teasing. Grasping Edward's ass in my hands, I took his cock into my mouth, not waiting for him to adjust before bobbing my head up and down. Edward groaned, his hands resting on my head.

"Move your hands, gorgeous, I want to see your cock in his mouth," Riley instructed. Edward did as Riley asked, moving his hands to the top of my head, his fingers curling into the waves, fisting them tightly, already straining for control. "Yeah, just like that," Riley approved. I looked up through my lashes and found Edward's eyes lustfully staring at Riley.

"He's got a great mouth, doesn't he? He can take it so deep," Riley mumbled, his voice low and drawn.

"Fuck," Edward answered, not sure if he was saying it in excitement or out of the realization that I had given Riley head. Regardless, Edward continued to watch Riley, and I felt his ass clenching with the effort to keep still and let me set the pace.

Riley stroked himself, his breaths were coming in staggered gasps as he rode the edge of his orgasm, enticing it with languid pumps before backing off and letting it retreat. There was a pink flush to his cheeks and neck, his hair was slightly damp and beginning to gather in clumps on his forehead as his body anticipated the released he had been craving for hours.

"You like watching me, gorgeous? You like watching guys jerks off? Play with their cocks?" Riley asked Edward and my eyes closed as I moaned around Edward's cock. He gasped as the vibration, and his hips thrust forward. "Yeah, yeah, just like that. Fuck his face, beautiful. Stick that big cock down his throat for me."

Relaxing my jaw, I opened wide and let Edward do as he wanted. Gripping my hair in his long fingers, he held my head still and began to thrust shamelessly, each one punctuated with a loud, explosive grunt. I heard Riley's labored breaths, the sound of his hand working his cock, skin sliding along skin. I had been privy to watching Riley jerk off many times, usually while my dick was in his ass, and he was fucking hot, the expressions of bliss he wore, each one erotic and wanting. I knew his tongue was between his lips, that his eyes were half closed, that his ears were flushed pink, and that his wrist flicked on every other stroke.

My cock throbbed in my pants, two of the hottest guys I knew were getting off around me, I could hear them, smell them and feel them. It was fucking painful to not touch myself. With each movement of Edward's hips into my mouth, I felt the power growing inside him, circulating through him while his body commanded mine. Doing that for him, giving him that control, was such a fucking turn on. As soon as he came, I was going to kick Riley's ass out and take Edward back to the bedroom for a solid fucking.

"You got a fucking amazing body, I bet you're fucking tight. I'd love to fuck that incredible ass, gorgeous," Riley panted.

I could tell Riley was close, his hips were greedily lifting into his hand, his other hand was lower, tugging on his balls. "Play with your nipples, Edward."

Immediately, one hand released my hair, skimmed along my cheek, and I looked up at Edward as he dragged it up his abdomen to a nipple. He took it between his index and thumb, twisting it until his back arched, digging his cock deeper into my mouth and a carnal cry escaped him.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Riley hissed. "Where the fuck have you been keeping him, Jas? Why didn't you share before?"

My fingers dug into the flesh of Edward's ass, as he savagely fucked my mouth. "Love, close," he breathed. I knew his eyes hadn't left Riley, that he was watching every move Riley made, every twitch, flick and stroke.

"Close, gonna shoot my load for you, beautiful. Wanna see that? Wanna see me come?"

In my hold, Edward's entire body shuddered at Riley's offer.

"Yes," he said through staggered breaths. "Want to see you come hard."

With that, Riley grunted, his body lifting off the couch to meet his fist, his cock twitching before all the tension he had been feeling was released in long streams of milky cum. The sounds Riley made as he worked himself through his orgasm excited Edward even more and I felt him swell in my mouth. Reaching between his legs, I pushed them apart and let a finger trace his hole. Riley hissed as his strokes slowed, cum laying in thin lines along his chest as his eyes glazed over and he watched Edward. In his hand, his cock began to soften, cum still running down the head and his over his fingers.

"Your turn, gorgeous. Wanna see you come now. Shoot down his throat for me."

Edward's hand dropped back to my hair and his hips frantically thrust with no rhythm.

"Holy fuck," he gasped. His body stilled and he let out a strangled cry as his cock jerked and pulsed in my mouth, marking me with finality, his cum quickly coating my throat in short bursts. His fingers twisted in my hair, his back arched, his abs clenched as I pulled and swallowed his orgasm from him. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," he panted each time I sucked on his cock, lapping him until he was clean.

He swayed and I put my hands on his hips to steady him. I felt him tug on my hair and I had barely stood up when his lips were crushed to mine, his tongue plunging into my mouth to sample his taste. Tiny jerks of his hips rubbed his cock along my aching one and I groaned, my hand going to touch myself.

"Oh, now I get to watch him blow you?" Riley suggested.

Breaking the kiss, I looked down at Riley as he lifted a foot onto the couch and let his legs fall apart, displaying his entrance. His fingers were still wrapped around his dick, gently pumping it as he looked up at us.

"No, now I am going to take him to bed and fuck his brains out," I replied, slinging my arms around Edward's neck before drawing him in for another kiss.

"Even better," Riley smirked. "I promise, I can real quiet, won't even know I'm here."

Breaking the kiss, Edward stood next to me with a dazed look, his body completely sated and used.

"You're going to get dressed and leave. I want him all to myself now," I said selfishly.

Rile smiled up at me. "Can you at least get me something to clean up with?"

With one last kiss to Edward's cheek, I went to the bathroom for a towel, listening to them the entire time.

"You're pretty fucking hot, Edward, you know that?" I heard Riley say. "I can see why Jasper wants to keep you all to himself."

"Thanks," Edward mumbled. "You're hot too."

Smiling, I ran the towel under some water and headed back out.

"Someday, Edward, someday," Riley vaguely promised. I tossed the towel to Riley and pulled Edward into my arms again, he went weak against me, letting me support him while Riley cleaned up and then pulled on his jeans and tee shirt.

"Hey, baby, I'm going to say good bye to Riley, meet me in the bedroom?" I asked Edward and he nodded.

"Before you go," Riley spoke up as he tugged his sweatshirt on. Edward stopped and Riley stepped up to him, took Edward's face into his hands and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "Thank you," he murmured. "You ever want a better fuck than him, call me. Until next time." Taking advantage of Edward's satiated state of mind, Riley went to deepen the kiss, but I put a hand on his shoulder when I saw his tongue dart out.

"Just wanted a little taste," he grinned. Edward, still a bit dazed, smiled at me before heading down the hall. Riley and I both leaned around the corner to watch his ass. "One fine ass."

As soon as Edward had entered the bedroom, Riley turned to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. "Finally alone, lover boy."

Laughing, I put my forehead to his.

"So is he your boyfriend or something?"

"Yeah, I think so," I answered honestly, trying to ignore the flash of pain in his eyes. He sighed, his breath washing over my face.

"But I'm still a better fuck, right?"

"Umm, tied," I compromised.

"Then perhaps I need to convince you," he whispered.

"Not tonight, Rile," I murmured. He sighed again, not hiding his disappointment. "But I will get you some food, hold on."

Leaving him there, I went into the kitchen and tossed some sandwiches, a few apples and some sodas into a bag. While I was in there, I laughed when I heard him.

"Jasper and Edward sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage," he sang.

"What the fuck are you singing?" I asked as I returned to the living and went to the desk.

"Ya know, the nursery rhyme," he replied. "You don't know it?"

"Nope."

"I fucking hate your parents," he said angrily. "Fucking stole you childhood."

"It's okay. Here," I said, pressing a hundred dollars into his palm. "Get-"

"Food, not shit. Yeah, I know the drill," he replied, stuffing the money into his pocket. "Thanks, Jasper," he whispered, leaning in to brush his lips along mine. At first, I stiffened, but then softened under his soothing touch. "See ya around, Jas," he said, pulling away and placing one last kiss on my cheek.

"Take care, Rile. Be safe out there."

Moving to the door, he opened it and looked back at me. "Always am," he smiled and shut the door behind him. As soon as it clicked closed, I was jogging down the hall and into my room, where I found a very satisfied Edward sprawled across my bed.

"Do you realize it's four in the morning?" he murmured.

I crawled up the bed over him, placing kisses along his thighs and abdomen as I went.

"And I am going to fuck you now," I mouthed against him, feeling him squirm under me. When I reached his neck, he angled his head for me.

"Have you ever done a three way?" he asked thoughtfully.

_And a four way_.

"Yeah."

"With him?" I kept my lips pressed to him as they trailed along his shoulder.

"Yeah," I replied honestly.

"Do you want one with him and me?" he asked, his hands running down my back and over my biceps.

"Do you?" I lifted my head to look at him, to read his thoughts. Returning my stare, he shrugged.

"Um, I don't know. Maybe," he hedged. "Does that make me a slut?"

Smiling, I retuned my mouth to the wonder of his body. "No, baby, it makes you fucking hot."

"Oh, yeah," he moaned when he felt my cotton covered erection rub along his.

"Now, where was I…"

"**~~**"

The buzzing on my nightstand was almost as annoying as the knocking had been. Pulling away from his warm embrace, I heard him groan as I rolled over and blindly reached for my phone. It was light out, but we had only been asleep for about an hour, completely exhausted after our middle of the night wakeup call and then making love again.

Pressing the button, I opened a new text message from Tanya with a new calendar entry.

"Peter Carlson, Friday the 15th, 12pm Sea-Tac Airport. American Airlines Flight 1230. Return flight Sunday the 17th at 2pm. Pack bag with casual clothing."

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

First, huge thank you to everyone that nominated and voted for M&A in The Slash Awards. M&A won Best AH E/J, Best WIP, Best Wish I was a Gay Man, Best Hand Job, Best Supporting Character (GO RILEY) and Best First Time. You guys own us!

Second, strange story with this chapter. I wrote it during this past week and on Wednesday, wrote the Riley scene where he asks to DP Edward. As much as Riley and I wanted to, it didn't seem appropriate to have such a scene in this chapter. That being said, Dannie and I were too excited to not do it, so it will be an outtake (E/R/J), and will probably be posted later this week. We know not everyone will enjoy that, so if you are NOT interested in reading Edward with Riley/Jasper, you should probably ignore the next M&A alert. If you are interested in reading a DP scene, then by all means….

The odd thing? The day after I wrote the R/J/E scene, CF (Corbin Fisher) posted a video with DP action. It was like they knew!

Okay, so what did you think? Riley and Edward have met, and seemed to get along pretty good! Did you like Edward's surprise? What about Jasper's surprise at the end? I know a lot of you predicted a weekend with Peter, but maybe not one that involved an airplane.

Things are going to start to pick up and move right along now. Make sure your seats and trays are upright and buckle up everyone!

Thank you again!


	19. Jasper, Edward & Riley, oh my!

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- So here it is, the J/R/E outtake. This is NOT part of the regular M&A plot (as the P/J outtake was) this is more a 'what if' outtake. What if Edward had said yes to Riley's offer….While it is not part of the story, I did try to keep them all in character as much as possible given their…er… positions.

The outtake picks up when Riley arrives-there are parts repeated, but also some subtle differences.

**Warning**: This outtake contains sexual relations between **three** men. It also contains double penetration. If neither of those are your thing, then skip this chapter.

Jasper pov written by Touchstone67, Edward pov expertly handled by Domward's Mistress.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

The knocking was loud and instant. Vaguely I heard the title music for the movie playing over and over as I stretched and felt his warm body secured to mine in his sleep. My nose was buried into the crook of his neck, his pulse beating strong as I inhaled his scent, smiling when I realized he no longer smelled like cologne and mint.

He most definitely smelled like musk and cum.

Snuggling deeper into him, I tried to ignore the knocking, but it continued. I lifted my head and listened more closely and realized it was on my door. Rolling onto my back, I glanced at the clock and saw it was just after three in the morning.

_Riley._

Careful not to wake Edward, I climbed out of bed and grabbed my cotton sleep pants from the chair, not bothering to put anything on under them.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm coming," I called out as I stumbled down the hall, wiping the sleep from my eyes. I swung the door open, not surprised to see him standing there, shifting his weight nervously back and forth as he kept glancing down the hallway. As soon as the door was open enough, he squeezed through.

"Come in," I growled, closing the door behind him. Dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans, he actually looked clean. I might have even smelled soap mixed in with the distinct odor of sex as he walked by. Out of habit, I glanced at his hands and eyes for signs of twitching and redness.

And other than the typical bags from lack of sleep, I found none.

For once, he wasn't high.

"A fucking piano?" he asked as he noticed its huge presence in the room. "Didn't know you played. You look comfortable," he said, raising an eyebrow while his eyes appreciatively roamed over my naked torso, until they settled on my barely covered cock hanging heavy between my legs.

He was hyper. It was an aftereffect of working the street some nights. The energy we stored to do the work was hard to burn off, it would simmer until it would start to boil over, and Riley was at that point. Reflexively, I glance down the hall to my bedroom.

Folding my arms across my chest, I yawned. "What do you want, Rile?"

He closed the distance between us, not bothering to disguise the look of want he wore. "Jas, this hot guy just picked me up and I gave him head. You should have seen him; he was built for fucking porn with a long, fucking cock. I wanted him to fuck me, but he just wanted a blow. Jesus, got me so fucking hard." He paused, reaching down he grabbed himself through his jeans. My eyes darted down the hall as I took a few steps toward Riley.

"He wouldn't let me get off, Jas. I even offered to jack off for him for free but he said no, he had to go. I need to cum so fucking bad, Jas. I had him drop me off here hoping you could relieve the ache," he smirked, and before I could stop him, he was already pulling off his sweatshirt. "I need you to fuck me, Jas, please."

"Rile," I started, and he stopped, something catching his eye. When he wasn't high, Riley had the same powers of observation I did and he was fucking observant then. I saw his nose crinkle at the scent of sex still sitting thick in air, his eyes darted around the room…to the scatted clothes on the floor by the piano.

Tensing, I waited for it.

"You're not alone," he stated slowly, almost in disbelief. My bottom lip found its way in between my teeth and I glanced down the hall again, wishing like fuck I had thought to close my bedroom door. "Oh my God, you're not. Who is it?"

"No one," I answered automatically. "You need to go."

"A _client_?" he asked, ignoring my request.

"No," I denied quietly, but it was too late. I saw Riley's eyes widen and then focus behind me. I didn't have to look to know Edward was standing behind me.

"Holy shit," Riley mumbled. Glancing over my shoulder, I confirmed Edward's presence. He must have gone through my dresser because sitting very low on his hips, with glimpses of his auburn hair peeking out from the waistband, was my Tasmanian devil sleep pants. Bare-chested, his hair sticking up in every direction from sex and our closeness during sleep, he looked absolutely fucking delicious. My gaze went to this dick, knowing his briefs were sitting on the floor a few feet from us.

"Everything okay?" he asked in sleepy, husky voice as he self consciously ran a hand over his chest. He moved to my side, standing possessively close but not quite touching, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

"Jesus," Riley moaned, licking his lips. "He sounds as good as he looks."

"Don't drool, Riley."

He took a step closer to us, his eyes never leaving the bronze-haired god next to me. Edward watched Riley warily, if not slightly confused, as Riley closed the distance between them.

"Fuck, Jasper. He is one fine piece of ass. Nice cock too, I bet," Riley whistled. Next me, I saw Edward's cheeks flush at the compliment and under Riley's intense, hungry stare. Embarrassed, Edward glanced at me, the look in his eyes the same one I had seen at the dance club when the guy had hit on him.

And that guy had been an amateur. Riley was a fucking professional, and very good at the art of seduction. I knew because I had fallen victim to it many times.

Riley was horny was fuck, his cock was visibly straining against his jeans. Edward didn't have a chance.

Walking up to Edward, Riley stood right in front of him, his fingers twitching at his side in effort to not reach out and skim along Edward.

"Jas, are you going to be a good host and introduce me to your boy toy?" he asked me, but his eyes never moved from Edward. "Mmmm, I bet he likes your cock. Not that I can blame-"

"Rile, please go," I interrupted. Even as I said the words, I knew they would be ignored, but I had at least stopped this train of thought. Unable to stop himself any longer, Riley reached up with a hand and ran the tips of his fingers along Edward's collarbone. Edward flinched slightly, his eyes darting to me, but he let Riley touch him.

"What do you say, gorgeous? How about we give you a three way? A little ménage a toi?" His voice dropped even lower, taking on a husky purr. "Ever been DP'd?"

Edward's breath caught in his throat, but he found his voice. "DP'd?"

A slow grin eased over Riley's face as he glanced at me with a quirked brow. "Oh, he is precious, Jasper," he said to me before turning his attention back to Edward. "Double penetration, darling. Two cocks in your ass, double the pleasure and all."

I felt Edward's fingers crawl into my hand by my side as Riley's continued to weave Edward into his seduction.

Honestly, I had to admit the thought of Edward, Riley and I having sex had been an occasional part of my fantasies, but it was never anything I had ever thought would become a reality. Fuck, I had never expected them to met, much less have Edward standing there while Riley openly hit on him.

And I liked it.

In my thin pants, my cock twitched several times. Watching Riley work was always a turn on, somehow he made his eyes sparkle more, his smile brighter and his hair irresistibly so soft you had to run your fingers through it. It was undeniable hot, and the fact that he was using his magic on Edward made it even hotter.

"Oh," Edward choked out, his blush deepening. "Um, I don't…I don't…I mean, I haven't done that. It sounds painful."

"Always a first time, beautiful. And I promise, we'll be real gentle, won't we, Jasper?"

It wouldn't be the first time Riley and I had fucked the same guy. Hell, it wouldn't even been the first time we had DP'd a guy, but I knew my boy wasn't quite ready for that yet.

"Riley," I began, coming to Edward's rescue.

"Mmm?" he hummed, never taking his eyes off his target. When his fingers grazed along Edward's chest, his touch feather light, I heard Edward inhale sharply.

"Riley," I repeated, my fingers tightening around Edward's to reassure him. From the way his body was reacting I couldn't tell if he was scared, incredibly turned on, or perhaps a bit of both. Before I could stop him, Riley's fingers were at the waistband of the Tasmanian devil pants, running along the top of the elastic. Lowering his hand, he brushed the backs of his fingers over Edward's cock. Edward whimpered, his fingers clutching mine.

"RILEY!" I snapped, and his eyes lazily left Edward look at me. If anyone could make you feel like you were the only person that existed, it was Riley. "Stop," I warned him. "Edward doesn't want to."

Although a part of me hoped he secretly did, and that part was growing harder by the second.

Riley sighed, but not in defeat, and rubbed Edward's cock harder. "Edward. What a fucking sexy name. Edward," he said, letting the name roll of his tongue. "What do you say, Edward, you want to enjoy two dicks for the price of one?"

"Um…" Edward began, his lush lips between his teeth as he actually considered Riley's offer, but I felt his hand in mine, saw the muscles where I had licked his cum off tense, his eyes glancing to mine for an answer. For a second, I wondered if he wanted me to make the decision, that if it was something I wanted to do, he would do it, for me. I had expected an immediate and definite no to fall from his lips, but he said nothing, he just stared at Riley as I watched the color of his eyes change, darkening at the suggestion. "Okay," he answered meekly.

"Fucking alright," Riley exclaimed with a huge grin.

"Sit down," I snarled at Riley just before I yanked Edward down the hall. Spinning, I faced him, both his hands in mine.

"Edward, you don't have to do this. I don't need you to do this," I told him in a hushed voice.

"But I want to," he returned. I gazed into his eyes, searching them for the doubt I was certain I would find only…I didn't. Their emerald color was glazed over with lust, adding a sheen of moss green to them. "Does that make a slut?"

"Baby," I sighed, taking his face into my hands. "It doesn't make you a slut at all. It makes you fucking hot and amazing, but…"

He tore his eyes from mine and glanced down the hall. We couldn't see Riley but we could hear him singing "It's Raining Men" to himself on the couch. When Edward looked back at me, there was a curiosity about him.

"Have you ever done a three way?" he asked quietly.

_And a four way._

"Yeah," I nodded.

"With him?"

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Is he a client?"

"No," I snorted. "He's not a client. He's a…colleague of sorts."

"An escort?"

"No, a hooker," I whispered. "A very good one."

"I can tell," he said, blushing.

"You have no idea," I said, shaking my head. "You don't have to do this; I can get him to leave."

He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes for a few seconds. Opening them, he exposed a new confidence, a different level of want and need.

One that I would not deny him.

"I want to share this with you, Jasper."

"Are you sure, baby? I mean, we can stop anytime, it's your decision."

He leaned in, placing a lingering kiss on my lips. "I'm sure. I need this, please let me have it."

It was my turn to take a deep breath, and I nodded before placing a kiss on his lips. "Anytime you want to stop, you tell me."

"Okay," he replied with confidence but when I took his hand in mine again, it was shaking. Nodding, I took his hand and led him back to the living room. A lazy smile hovered on Riley's face as he watched us walk back in; he knew it was a done deal.

The cocky fucker.

"Well, fucking alright," Riley said, bouncing up off the couch. "You two, strip."

Edward went to pull down his pants, but I put a hand on his arm.

"Wait, let's go into the bedroom first, we're going to do this right," I suggested and then turned to Riley. "There will be rules for you."

"Aw, fuck, Jasper," he whined but nodded.

"Edward, let me talk to Riley for a minute, meet us in the bedroom," I whispered before kissing his nose. When Edward was out of earshot, I turned to Riley.

"I need you to know that he isn't just another fuck for me, Riley," I admitted. For the first time, Riley was hearing that someone meant something to me.

"Is he your boyfriend or something?" he asked, a teasing flair in his eye.

"Yeah, I think so," I answered honestly. "I mean we haven't like said that out loud or anything, but-"

"I get it, Jas." He leaned in and kissed me. "And if he isn't just another fuck for you, then he won't be for me either."

We headed for the bedroom, his hands roaming my body freely and I wondered if Edward would be okay with seeing the liberties Riley took with me. When we entered the bedroom, Edward was standing at the foot of the bed, his eyes brightening as soon as I walked in.

Riley stripped and grabbed the condoms and lube from my nightstand before sitting on the edge of the bed, his legs lazily spread wide, his cock in his loose fist. Edward's eyes flickered to me knowingly. He was wondering how Riley knew where I kept the supplies. Giving him a sheepish smile, I led him to the bed and stood before Riley. Now that he had permission, Riley's hands were already on Edward, impatiently tugging on the sleep pants.

"Hands off," I scolded, slapping his hand away. While I spoke, I held Edward's hand, my fingers constantly stroking his, reassuring him. "Rules first." Riley rolled his eyes at me before winking at Edward. "You can't kiss him."

Riley looked crushed, his eyes widened and darted from Edward to me. "But those lips…" I gave him a hard look."Fine, no kissing Edward. What about you?"

"Of course I can kiss him."

"No, asshole," he chuckled. "Can I kiss you?"

Caught off guard, I glanced at Edward for the answer. This was his night, his choice. Biting his lip, he nodded slightly.

"Yeah, that's okay-"

"Now?"

"Riley," I snapped him and he rolled his eyes. "Next, if Edward says no to anything, you stop immediately. He is in charge here, he sets the pace. He doesn't want to do something, we stop right away. No questions asked, got it?"

He nodded sharply. "Got it. Anything else, Major?"

"Yeah, you fucking owe me."

Riley laughed. "Let's get the show on the road then, boys."

"We need to get you ready," I said to Edward, positioning Edward so that Riley could see everything, Edward's cock and my mouth about eye level with Riley, and Edward had an unobstructed view of Riley.

"Ready?" he asked, staring down at me. Slowly, I lowered myself to my knees in front of Edward and looked up at him.

"Baby, we need you to be very relaxed, so I'm going to help you…relax," I explained as I ran my hands over his ass. He nodded, the blush spreading down his neck and over his chest.

"Oh, shit, that is beautiful," Riley sighed. Grabbing the elastic of the cotton pants, I pulled them down, letting Edward's hard cock spring free.

"Fuccckkk," Riley groaned next to me.

I slid the pants down Edward's muscular legs, exposing his sac and ass gradually, until he stepped out of them and stood completely naked before me. With one last wink at Riley, I stuck out my tongue and dragged it up Edward's length, base to head, along the thick vein before swirling it around the reddened head. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Riley's hips lift to meet his hand. Teasingly, I lowered my head even further, taking one of Edward's balls into my mouth, nipping at the wrinkled skin.

"Shit," Edward moaned.

"More," Riley growled at my teasing. Grasping Edward's ass in my hands, I took his cock into my mouth, not waiting for him to adjust before bobbing my head up and down. Edward groaned, his hands resting on my head.

"Move your hands, gorgeous, I want to see your cock in his mouth," Riley instructed. Edward did as Riley asked, moving his hands to the top of my head, his fingers curling into the waves, fisting them tightly, already straining for control. "Yeah, just like that," Riley approved. I looked up through my lashes and found Edward's eyes lustfully staring at Riley.

"He's got a great mouth, doesn't he? He can take it so deep," Riley mumbled, his voice low and drawn.

"Fuck," Edward answered, not sure if he was saying it in excitement or out of the realization that I had given Riley head. Regardless, Edward continued to watch Riley, and I felt his ass clenching with the effort to keep still and let me set the pace. Riley pumped himself a few times while he watched Edward, who was licking his lips at Riley's motion. My closeted boy hadn't seen much dick, and Riley's was a sight.

"You like watching me, gorgeous? You like watching guys jerks off? Play with their cocks?" Riley asked Edward and my eyes closed as I moaned around Edward's cock. He gasped at the vibration, and his hips thrust forward. "Yeah, yeah, just like that. Fuck his face, beautiful. Stick that big cock down his throat for me."

Relaxing my jaw, I opened wide and let Edward do as he wanted. Gripping my hair in his long fingers, he held my head still and began to thrust shamelessly, each one punctuated with a loud, explosive grunt. With each movement of Edward's hips into my mouth, I felt the power growing inside him, circulating through him while his body commanded mine. Doing that for him, giving him that control, was such a fucking turn on.

"You got a fucking amazing body, I bet you're fucking tight," Riley panted.

One hand released my hair, skimmed along my cheek, and I looked up at Edward as he dragged it up his abdomen to a nipple. He took it between his index and thumb, twisting it until his back arched, digging his cock deeper into my mouth and a carnal cry escaped him.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Riley hissed. "Where the fuck have you been keeping him, Jas? Why didn't you share before?"

My fingers dug into the flesh of Edward's ass, as he savagely fucked my mouth. "Love, close," he breathed.

"Wanna see you come, gorgeous. Shoot down his throat for me."

Riley's words made Edward even more excited and I felt him swell in my mouth. Reaching between his legs, I pushed them apart and let a finger trace his hole. Edward's hand dropped back to my hair and his hips frantically thrust with no rhythm.

"Holy fuck," he gasped. His body stilled and he let out a strangled cry as his cock jerked and pulsed in my mouth, marking me with finality, his cum quickly coating my throat in short bursts. His fingers twisted in my hair, his back arched, his abs clenched as I pulled and swallowed his orgasm from him. "Oh God, oh God, oh God," he panted each time I sucked on his cock, lapping him until he was clean.

He swayed and I put my hands on his hips to steady him. I felt him tug on my hair and I had barely stood up when his lips were smashed to mine, his tongue plunging into my mouth to sample his taste. Tiny jerks of his hips rubbed his cock along my aching one and I groaned, my hand going to touch myself. Breaking the kiss, Edward stood with a dazed look, his body completely sated and used.

Riley sighed impatiently, his cock almost purple with need, a constant string of clear fluid flowing from the slit. I turned Edward to face Riley and stood behind him, one hand stroking his cock while the other was splayed across his abdomen.

"So what do you think?" I asked Riley.

"Fucking amazing. I can't wait to fuck his ass," Riley smirked. "Come on, beautiful. Let's see how amazing we can make you feel."

Edward was limp against me, letting me support his weight entirely, his eyes were half lidded, his lips parted.

"Jasper," he almost slurred. "Um, how, I don't…"

"What, baby?"

"How do we do it? Like what position?"

"Your choice," Riley answered for me, but I knew what Edward was really asking.

"He doesn't know them," I said to Riley.

Riley scoffed, "Gorgeous, haven't you ever seen porn?"

Edward's blush was thick as it covered his cheeks in a permanent stain. "Yes, but not like… this."

"Fuck, this is going to be even better than I thought," Riley said as he moved toward the head of the bed and then patted it. "Come here, beautiful."

Obeying, Edward moved from my embrace and climbed onto the bed, going to Riley on all fours. Riley's eyes moved from Edward to me as I tucked my thumbs into my pants and slid them off. I watched Edward slip into Riley's loose embrace, settling between his spread legs and moaning when Riley's hand reached up to push some of Edward's damp hair off his forehead. I saw the urge to kiss Edward flash on Riley's face before he remembered.

It was then that I wondered if I could go through with it. Could I watch and let someone fuck Edward? Could I share him?

But I knew if I was going to share him with anyone, it would be with Riley, the one that I had shared everything with.

The one that knew me best.

When Edward pulled back from Riley's touch to turn and reach a hand out for me, I knew it was going to be okay. That no matter what happened in that bedroom between the three of us, Edward and I would walk out of it stronger than ever after having shared something so incredibly intimate.

Smiling, I joined them on the bed, taking Edward's lips with mine as soon as I was close enough, moaning when I felt Edward return the kiss with the same enthusiasm.

"Oh sure, rub it the fuck in," Riley mumbled from next to me as he watched me lavish Edward's mouth before moving my lips along his jaw and down his neck. "Hey, can I kiss him like that?" Riley asked.

I realized I had never specified on where he couldn't kiss Edward. Smiling against the tender, tasty skin on Edward's neck, I nodded to Riley and heard him groan in response.

"Thank, Christ," Rile sighed, leaning forward to take Edward's nipple into his mouth. Instantly, Edward's head fell back, his back arched, and his swollen lips were parted as small breaths escaped him. Edward lifted his hand to Riley's head, finally letting his fingers run through Riley's thick hair, keeping Riley's lips fused to his nipple.

"Oh fuck," Edward moaned. Working my way back up his neck, I took his earlobe into my mouth, nibbling it.

"Are you ready, baby?" I breathed into his ear.

"Yes," he gasped. "Fuck yes."

"Rile," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. When his only response was to move to Edward's other nipple, I tugged on his hair. "Riley," I repeated more firmly.

"Mmm?"

"Move," I said, pulling his hair harder.

"Ow. Jesus, you can't fucking blame me for being a bit distracted, can ya? I mean fucking look at him," he mumbled, pulling away from Edward but leaving his hands resting on Edward's hips, his eyes admiring every inch and curve of Edward's form.

"Been there, done that," I smirked. "Me bottom, you top," I instructed him. He smiled at me and then with a longing look at Edward, moved to the side. With Riley out of the way, I moved in front of Edward so that we were both kneeling and pulled him to me for another kiss, coaxing him even further into his bliss, running my tongue over his lips before entering his mouth to twist with his. Pressing my body to him, my cock was contained between us as it ached with more need than ever before.

"Baby, I'm going to lie down and have you straddle me, okay?" I told him, my lips leaving his, but my hands cupping his face. "After I'm in, Riley will move behind you. Is that okay?"

Edward pulled back a bit, his eyes twinkling. "Fuck yeah," he smiled.

I released him and lay down, my head on a pillow and my legs between Edward's. When my cock brushed between his legs, I just about squealed with delight. As I positioned myself, Edward reached for the lube and tossed it to Riley.

"Get me ready," he instructed a surprised, and really fucking eager, Riley.

"Anytime, beautiful," Riley answered, popping the cap and squeezing some lube onto his fingers. Falling forward onto all fours, Edward exposed his delightful ass for Riley and I heard Riley groan as his hand moved to Edward's hole. Edward's eyes closed and I knew Riley had entered a finger or two.

"Fuck, I knew it would be tight. Jesus fucking Christ," Riley exclaimed, his fingers working to prepare my boy. Reaching over, I grabbed the condom, opened it and quickly slid it on my cock, already slick with my own juice.

"He's good," Riley said, tossing the lube aside and sitting back on his heels to watch as he opened a condom and slid it on before drizzling more lube on his cock.

"Ready, baby?" I asked Edward as he sat back as well, resting his ass on my thighs. As he smiled at me, he stroked my sheathed cock.

"Jasper," he blushed before lifting his ass and positioning my cock at his entrance. At the most tantalizingly slow pace, he impaled himself on me, hesitating only when the flared head met the resistant tight muscle before he pushed it through and was finally sitting on me. My heart pounded as I watched him ease himself down, the expressions on his face as his body accepted mine were beautiful and elemental and carnal. Our bodies met in the most natural of ways, out of want and need, and when his eyes opened and he stared down at me, I saw it all in him too; the amazement, the heart halting seconds when I first enter him, the pull that was once again reaching out to the other, making it even more powerful in both of us.

"Oh, my God, baby," I whispered. Even though I vaguely felt Riley's presence near us, there was something so thick between Edward and me that it didn't matter if it was a crowd of one or a thousand, the bond between us was strengthened. What Edward and I felt was real and tangible and by exposing it to Riley, we proved it.

"Feel so good, love, so fucking good in me, so right," Edward said as he circled his hips sensuously, grinding his ass down, my cock completely embraced tightly by every inch of Edward, and I began to wonder if Riley would fit.

"You do that again and I won't last more than a few seconds," I warned him through clenched teeth as I fought to maintain what slight control I had. With my hands gripping his hips, he braced his on my chest and leaned forward a bit, lifting his ass before dropping it again.

"Holy fuck," Riley murmured from behind Edward and I knew he was watching where our body's met, where my cock was being devoured by Edward's ass. Eager, Riley kneeled behind Edward, between my legs, and I saw him place a hand on Edwards' shoulder, gently reminding him he was there.

A strong shudder went through Edward's body when he felt Riley's foreign touch, and I saw the panic flash in his eyes. My hold on his hips tightened and I stilled, watching him intently, seeing the doubt grow in him.

"That's it. We're not doing this. Rile, stop," I demanded in husky voice. Doing as I had asked, Riley immediately sat back, his hands resting on his thighs as he watched me over Edward's shoulder with a raised eyebrow and a pleading look.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked me, his hips ceasing their movement as his hands left my chest and went to entwine with mine on his hips.

"Edward, I don't think…I'm not sure this…"

His hand on my cheek stopped me and I found myself instinctively leaning into the soft touch. "Sshh. I'm fine. I want to do this, love, I swear. I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous as fuck. I think my ribs are going to be bruised from my heart beating against them, but I want to do this. I _need_ to do this."

"I don't want to hurt you," I murmured, placing a kiss on his palm. "I only want to make you feel good."

He lifted his shoulders casually. "You do make me feel good, love. So, so good. So what if I can't walk tomorrow? It'll be worth it. Trust me on this, okay?"

Bending over, he kissed me, long and deep, his tongue exploring my mouth and while I was lost in all that was Edward, his hips had started to move again and my cock began to twitch deep inside him. Moaning into his mouth, I curled a hand around his neck and buried it in his silky hair, the strands sliding through my fingers before I did it again. With my other hand on his hip, I fought the urge to let my hips rise to meet his by digging into his flesh, bruising his smooth skin. My hand left his hair and slid along his back, skimming over the muscles there. Breaking the kiss, his heavy breaths mingling with my own, Edward rested his forehead to mine.

"I'm all for the lovey dovey shit, but can we please move along before my cock fucking explodes," Riley groaned.

I looked deep into Edward's clear eyes one last time, searching for a lingering doubt I suspected he had, but I was wrong. There was only lust and desire, a yearning for this experience that went far above any doubt. He didn't speak, he didn't tell me he was ready, he just gazed at me, his words lost in the depths of our pull.

"Rile," I whispered and immediately felt the bed shift and Edward's muscles tense. I stilled his hips with my hands. "Hold still, baby, give him some time," I murmured into the air between us. I felt Edward fall forward a bit, Riley pushing on his hips to position himself.

"Oh fuck," Edward moaned. Riley hadn't entered him yet, but was teasing him with his cock, running it along his ass, brushing it along the base of mine every time. "Riley," Edward and I groaned in unison.

My heart skipped. I thought to hear another's name fall so intimately and naturally from Edward's lips would hurt, but instead I felt proud for Edward. My closeted boy was expressing himself in a way he had never thought he'd be allowed, his need to have us both was so visceral that neither of us could ever deny him.

"You ready for me, beautiful?" Riley asked as he ran a gentle hand over Edward's back, lightly massaging the muscles. Edward nodded, his head still lying against mine. I smiled at him, tightening my hold on his hips, steadying him for what I knew was coming.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here," I encouraged with a few passes of my lips over his. "I…I'm here."

Edward flinched, every fiber of him tensing as Riley pushed forward. Instantly, I felt the pressure of Riley's cock against mine. He had barely entered, his head not even past Edward's tight ring, but his cock was already squeezing mine. Edward lifted himself off my chest, placing his hands on my shoulders, his eyes never leaving mine as his body clenched and stretched to fit Riley.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," Edward repeated, his breaths shallow and quick, sweat already beading on his skin, his eyes clamped in pain. Panting, he swayed as he gathered himself, adjusting his body to the intrusion. It hurt like a fucker, I knew the burn that was spreading through his groin and up his back, and how it felt like he was being split in two.

At the same time, I knew the immense pleasure that accompanied the pain, the feeling of being filled to the limit, the pressure and tingling.

"Edward?" I asked, but he ignored me, too focused on his own body, his own needs, to reply. Bringing a hand to his face, I stroked his cheeks with my fingers. "You fucking feel so good, baby. Just feel it, baby."

"Oh fuck," Riley called out, throwing his head back. He had one hand on Edward's shoulder for leverage and to remind himself that Edward wasn't just another fuck, that he was to be handled delicately and with respect. Riley's blunt nails dug into Edward's flesh as he fought to curb his instinct to thrust, to seek the release he had been denied for so many hours.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he repeated as I watched his hips gradually roll forward. Edward grunted and panted above me, his head hanging, but his eyes had opened and were watching me through the tufts of hair hanging in front of them. "J…Jas," Riley stuttered.

"You okay, baby?" I whispered to Edward.

"Pressure…stretching….just…" he panted before taking a few deep, controlling breaths. Then I felt his body relax, loosening up enough to let Riley continue. "I'm okay," he sighed, his voice husky and raw.

Glancing over Edward's shoulder, I looked at Riley. He was euphoric, his eyes were glazed over, giving him the familiar appearance of being high, his face was flushed with effort and a light sheen of sweat covered him. With his bottom lip firmly between his teeth, his eyes rolled back into his head as he entered Edward completely.

In our position, it was up to Riley to do the work. I couldn't move with Edward's weight solid on me, and if Edward moved up or forward, Riley would easily slide out. The pace and control would be set by Riley and he withdrew his hips only to rock them again.

"Fucking God," I yelled when I felt Riley's cock sliding back and forth along my own. Even though the friction was weakened by the condoms, it was the most fucking amazing thing ever.

_Ever._

"Baby, you feel amazing," I said lowly, surprised when I heard twin moans reply. I watched Riley for a few seconds, the strain mixing with pure ecstasy on his face as he began to move his hips. It was achingly slow, steady thrusts, but they were enough to send me reeling, my body already on the edge and ready to take the plunge.

"Fucking not going to last long," Riley warned just as his cock slipped from Edward, and immediately missing the loss, I groaned. "Ugh," Riley grunted.

Then I saw him do something very unlike him.

Leaning forward, he placed kisses along Edward's shoulders, paying close attention to the sensitive skin at the nape of Edward's neck, where he moaned into the kiss. The reaction from Edward was almost immediately, his body quivering from Riley's moist touch and his cock, which had been hanging heavy and limp between his legs began to grow.

Edward was being taken and worshiped by two men. One of his darkest, deepest and most hidden fantasies was coming to life, and his body was enjoying every second of it.

"You're so beautiful, so fucking hot. Such a nice ass…" Riley began, losing his thought as he realigned his dick again. "I'm going to try again, okay?" he asked, but didn't wait for an answer as I felt Edward's ass tighten even more around me when Riley reentered him, even slower than before. Edward's face contorted into a mixture of pain and pleasure, his eyes clenching, his brows furrowed tight.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to burst. I wanted to thrust up into Edward with wild abandon, fucking him until I erupted.

I wanted all those things and more.

And I knew Riley wanted them as much as I did. His control was amazing, in order to stay in Edward, he had to set an agonizingly slow pace when I knew all he really wanted to do was fuck.

There was a warmth low in my abdomen, spreading outward as my cock began to swell even more. My climax was near.

"So close," I groaned. Releasing Edward's body to Riley, I let go of Edward's hips briefly, resisting taking his hardening cock into my hands, skimming them over his chest before returning to rest on his hips.

I knew that as soon as I gripped him, he would thrust forward to meet my fist and Riley would slip out again and right then, I really wanted to do whatever was fucking necessary to keep Riley exactly where he was.

Forever.

Edward's grunts became rhythmic and perfectly timed with Riley's languid thrusts. I felt Riley's hands on top of mine at Edward's hips, his fingers tangling with mine. Without saying a word, I knew he was close; he needed me to get Edward there as well. Peeling my eyes from my boy's face, I glanced down along the planes of his body, I saw his chest heaving, his ab muscles constricting with each breath, and then I saw his cock.

It was thick and hard, angled down toward me, bobbing with each of Riley's movements inside him. Opalescent fluid leaked from his slit, a thin trail dangling from the head and dripping onto my stomach.

"Baby, I'm going touch you," I warned him. "I need you to let me do the work, don't move, okay?"

With the fucking darkest, greenest eyes I'd ever seen, he looked at me and nodded, and I felt him ready himself.

"OH FUCK!" he screamed when I my fingers wrapped around his cock. "Oh, fuck, love, gonna come so hard."

"Oh Jesus," Riley groaned in response.

"I know, baby. Me too. You feel so fucking good. Riley feels so good inside you. I can feel his cock against mine. It's fucking amazing, baby."

"Jasper," he whispered, his body stilling completely.

"Yeah?"

"Fucking shut up and get me off," he moaned in frustration. Riley chuckled as I began to stroke Edward's cock in long, even pumps. Riley took advantage of the loophole in the kissing rule and began to leave opened mouth kisses all over Edward's back and shoulders, anywhere he could reach with his lips, as he let go of Edward's hip and moved his hand to one of Edward's nipples, twisting it as I pumped him.

"Fuck yes," Edward cried out. It was sheer torture for him to not move his hips, to let my hand do all the work for him, his body shook and trembled from the struggle of fighting the innate urge to fuck my fist. "Coming," he hissed as I felt his cock pulse in my hand and then rupture, long, thin streams of cum shooting from him and onto my chest. Around our cocks, his ass tightened impossibly, and I felt my own orgasm approaching like a fucking freight train.

My mind got hazy. I vaguely heard Riley's strangled cries as the spasms of Edward's ass around his cock propelled him toward his own climax, I vaguely felt Edward almost collapse on top of me, only being supported by Riley's arms around his middle. I vaguely heard a stream of obscenities and endearments flow easily from my mouth to the both of them.

I didn't believe in heaven but if there was one, I was most definitely in it.

The sweet fire burst through the haze and I fell into the oblivion of my orgasm, my cock swelling and releasing into the condom, filling it with my hot seed. The friction of Riley's cock along mine as he never ceased his movements prolonged my orgasm, intensifying it to a level I never knew possible. Stroking it back and forth, he rode out both our climaxes while staving off his own. My body convulsed as the tingling warmth of my climax spread from my cock outward, my balls drew up so tight, I was sure they would never come down. Grunts and groans were expelled from both Edward and I as our bodies enjoyed the remnants of our love making.

"Jasper, love, oh my God," he stammered, his forehead resting against my chest.

"Jas," Riley groaned. "Can I borrow him…fucking please, I need him," Riley begged from behind Edward. When I focused, I felt his cock still hard against mine inside Edward.

He still hadn't come.

I could have said no, I could have had him pull out and jerk off. Instead, I nodded and moved my hips so my cock slipped from Edward. Riley withdrew at the same time, hissing at his hypersensitivity.

"Baby, Riley's going to finish in you," I whispered to Edward, brushing his damp hair off his sweaty forehead. He managed a nod.

That was all Riley needed. Once the permission was granted, Riley wrapped his arms around Edward, drawing him up to him, sitting Edward back on his thighs, easily sliding his cock back into Edward's used hole. I watched the ecstasy on Edward's face as Riley held him tight, thrusting wantonly and frantically up to him, desperate for his own release.

"Fucking hot, fuck," Riley panted, his pace wild and erratic. Edward's body, limp and satisfied, rest against Riley, his head dropping back onto Riley's shoulder as Riley's mouth explored the exquisite taste of Edward's flesh. Without my dick in Edward, Riley was free to thrust at will, let loose the careful control he had maintained for so long. Sliding a hand down Edward's sweat slickened chest, he took Edward's cock into his hand, groaning at its weight. Gripping it, Riley pumped the last few drops of Edward's cum from him.

His hips bucked up into Edward, and I saw the pleasure on both their faces. A flush covered Edward's face and neck, his eyes drifting closed only to open again seconds later.

Edward's hands reached blindly for mine and I grasped both of them with mine.

"So fucking hot, baby," I encouraged. "Watching you like this, watching him fuck you."

"You like me fucking you, beautiful? My cock in your delicious ass?" Riley muttered.

"Yeah," Edward gasped. His sexual appetite astounded even me.

Making love to Edward on the piano had been erotic, his body splayed for me, but in my bed, watching him getting fucked by Riley blew erotic out the window. It was primal, carnal and raw, yet there was something else there too.

When a strangled cry escaped Riley between his labored breaths, I knew he was only a few thrusts away from coming. Edward turned his heard toward Riley, his nose nuzzling along Riley's neck, his tongue licking the drops of sweat that ran down his jaw.

While I held Edward's hands, his lips sought out Riley's, pressing along his jaw line until the strain of not turning and accepting showed on Riley's face.

"Please," Riley gasped. His nails dug into Edward's chest, his jaw was tense, and his eyes rested on mine, begging me through his long, dark lashes.

In them I saw his request, a need that I wouldn't deny him any longer.

"Kiss him," I whispered and Riley groaned, his mouth crashing onto Edward's in a deep powerful kiss, his tongue plunging into the depths of Edward's mouth, tasting him for the first time. They both moaned shamelessly, Edward arched his back against Riley's embrace, seeking out more of his mouth.

And I just watched.

Edward's fingers entwined with mine and squeezed tightly, reassuring me that even though his lips were exploring another, they belonged to me. Edward released one of my hands, his lifting his arm up and around Riley's neck, weaving his fingers into his hair, relishing in the softness.

It was an intimate gesture, one of close lovers.

And it made Riley come. His guttural moans were muffled by the kiss, his body stilled but I knew his cock was twitching inside Edward, releasing his long over do orgasm in cresting waves. Violently shuddering, Riley waded through his climax, his cock emptying until there was nothing left. While his grip on Edward loosened, his hand even releasing Edward's cock to graze up his side and into his hair, their kiss never eased. Riley deepened it further, taking advantage of his one and only chance.

"Riley," I murmured.

They both moaned.

"Baby?" I tried a different approach, adding a squeeze of his hand as I said it.

It worked, Edward broke the kiss, his breaths heavy as he slowly turned to me. Riley sensed it and released Edward, who then fell on top of me, his mouth crushing mine as he shared his newfound taste of Riley with me.

A taste I was already very familiar with.

Riley always tasted good, even when he was high; he had a slight sweet taste with a hint of orange.

Riley tasted even better when mixed with the mint of Edward.

Riley pulled himself from Edward's ass, and I felt the bed shift as he took the condom off and got off the bed. My own condom was still on, Edward laying flush on top of me as we continued to make out. When our flaccid cocks rubbed along each other, we groaned into the kiss.

Edward twitched and he lifted his head to turn and watch Riley. Standing at the side of the bed, Riley leaned over and gently wiped Edward's ass with a damp towel.

"There ya go, gorgeous," he said as he spanked Edward's ass with an open palm and then jumped onto the bed, tossing the towel at me. I slipped the condom off and lifted Edward so I could quickly wipe my stomach. Rolling onto his side, Riley perched himself up on his elbow and stared at Edward and I.

We were all exhausted and limp and high from our climaxes and what we had shared. Riley's eyes lazily drifted over Edward and me, our sweaty, sticky bodies, mussed hair and silly grins.

"You two are beautiful," he sighed. Edward blushed and hid his face in the crook of my neck. "You can let us fuck you, but I call you beautiful and you get embarrassed?"

Not lifting his head, Edward nodded, and I kissed his hair.

"I don't think it's the beautiful part, but more the 'holy shit, I just let two guys fuck me' realization," I offered.

Edward nodded again.

Riley chuckled. "Aw, shit, been there, done that, gorgeous. Don't be embarrassed. Nothing wrong with fucking, it's a natural thing."

Edward sighed into my neck, his breath moist and warm. He lifted his head and turned to face Riley.

"Yeah, but is what we just did natural?" he asked quietly.

"Fucking right it was. Wanting someone, having sex, desire, whether it's with one person or twelve, is completely natural. Hedonistic maybe, but definitely natural. Back in ancient Greece, an orgy was a secret gathering celebrated with dancing, singing and drinking," he explained. My hands were running up and down the contours of Edward's back, my lips in his hair as I raised a doubtful eyebrow at Riley.

"Swear to fucking God," he raised his right hand. "Regardless, gorgeous, it was natural and incredible and amazing. Thank you." He glanced at me before leaning forward and kissing Edward softly. Edward's weight shifted on me as he leaned to return the kiss. Sighing, Riley pulled away.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"We should have fucking hooked up your webcam in here and filmed that. Could have made a fortune selling that on the internet," he teased, grinning. Edward smiled at him and laid his head on my chest, my heart beating just under his ear.

"I need to use the bathroom," Edward declared in a sleepy voice. Crawling off me, he got off the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Riley immediately filled the empty space and snuggled against me, his lips brushing across mine. When he leaned back, he looked at me.

"I can feel it, ya know," he admitted.

"What?"

"Whatever it is between you two. I can feel it, it's real, Jasper. I know you doubt it, but don't. He feels it too."

"Rile-"

"Jas, how long have you know me? Twenty, thirty years?"

"Sure feels like it."

He ignored my jab and continued, "And we've been through a lot of shit together, right? Risked lives and all that shit. Just trust me on this, he feels it too and he wants it."

The urge to argue was strong, but there was something in his eyes, something flickering and I believed him. Nodding, I hugged him close, enjoying his warmth against me. Habitually, his lifted his chin, his lips meeting mine, the kiss instantly deepening as his velvet tongue entered my parted lips and he moaned. Crawling on half way on top of me, he tilted his head and returned the kiss with the fervor he always did.

"Fuck, Jas," he murmured against my lips before grazing a hand over my chest to my hair, where he took the damp curls with his fingers, twisting them as our tongues did the same. My arms wrapped around him, resting on his back, feeling the small scars from the streets that marred his skin. I knew how he had received each one; I had even witnessed a few of them. His taste flooded my mouth and I reveled in it. It was so easy to fall back into Riley, to kiss him and touch him and hold him.

"Got room for me?" Edward asked quietly as he walked back into the room and stood by the side of the bed. Riley lifted his head and looked at Edward.

"Beautiful, there will always be room for you," he said, sliding out of my embrace. "Well, boys, it's been wonderful but it's time for me to follow the yellow brick road, head to Emerald City and all that other shit," Riley said as he rolled onto his back and stretched. My heart clenched at the thought of him leaving, going out into the dark. Normally, he would have spent the night in my bed, but with Edward there…

"Where do you live?" Edward asked. Riley turned his head, glancing at me and I knew he was wondering just how much I had told Edward.

"Anywhere, everywhere," he chuckled lightly, but the slight tone of hurt was there. Riley never felt sorry for himself, and he never wanted pity. Even if I had offered to let him stay with me all the time, he would refuse. But that night I felt it, the yearning to want something permanent, something regular and routine. "I gotta go," he said as he began to sit up. Immediately, Edward reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Stay," Edward pleaded, and then looked at me, realizing it wasn't his offer to make. "I mean, if it's okay with you."

"Fine, just don't steal anything," I agreed, winking at Riley and his shit eating grin. His charm had worked once again.

He was a fucking talented boy.

"Damn, because I was going to carry that piano out on my back," he chuckled. Eagerly, Riley climbed under the blankets. "Edward, you're in the middle, and Jas, don't hog the blankets this time."

Edward looked at me and I gave him another, hopefully irresistible, sheepish grin.

Riley and his fucking big mouth.

After climbing back into bed, Edward curled into my side, resting his head on my shoulder as I wrapped an arm around his middle. Riley moved against Edward's back, spooning him tightly before slinging a leg over Edward's, pressing his cock to Edward's ass and burying his nose in the nape of Edward's neck. Riley's hand searched for mine until he found it and then grasped it lightly, his fingers stroking mine.

Edward's cock twitched against my hip.

"Anyone want to watch The Wizard of Oz?" I asked. They both nodded and I hit play.

Before Dorothy had even landed in Oz, we were all asleep, our bodies a mess of limbs and sated cocks, entangled physically and after that night, forever entwined.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

So what did you think? Was it hot enough? I love Riley just a little bit more after this….and I think Edward does too.

Next chapter will resume the regular plot line with Edward pov…and omg I can't wait for it!

M&A has been nominated for Best Slash in the Immortal Sin Awards. Voting ends on October 15th, you can see all nominations and vote here http:/ darksper DOT blogspot DOT com


	20. The Apartment

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- We're back with a current Epov after last chapter's outtake. Huge cheers for Dannie, who once again resorted to long hand and her Blackberry for writing parts of this chapter. How is that for dedication? And thank God for Blackberrys!

This is a long chapter (and I was a nervous wreck writing it). We haven't seen Epov in four chapters, so there is a LOT to cover for him but we didn't want to rehash everything either…so we tried to walk that fine line. Hopefully we accomplished what we set out to do.

As always, huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

Groaning quietly, I wiggled my body tighter against Jasper, feeling his warmth surround me as his heart beat steadily against my back. My body was sore and stiff all over in the best ways from my rigorous, and thorough, fucking and sucking from the previous night. A quick glance at the clock told me it was just past seven and I could see the faint daylight dancing across the walls where it flittered through the curtains. No wonder I was so exhausted, I'd had less than three hours sleep after being woken up in the middle of the night to find Jasper talking to a…colleague.

Though I was relieved to find out he wasn't a client, as I had first suspected when I heard them talking. My stomach had twisted painfully at the thought of Jasper having to leave our bed so he could go 'work' in someone else's.

To say Riley was hooker seemed harsh, although after falling prey to his charm, I could easily see how he made money. The way he had stared at me was more than eyefucking, he was devouring me, and it made me feel a number of things; nervous, scared, apprehensive... aroused. I'd had countless men and women undress me with in their minds before but none of them to the extent, or as well, as Riley had. It was like I could literally feel his gaze on my skin.

And that was before he had hit on me.

The way he'd spoken, the words he had said were so filthy. Jasper, and even my few previous lovers, had talked dirty while in bed but this had been different. Riley's words were so practiced and smooth, his lust-filled brown eyes making his statements so much more intriguing. Worried, I had looked to Jasper for some direction, afraid that he would be jealous, angry even, but he wasn't, not in the slightest. When I'd held his hand, I felt his reassuring squeezes. Riley's words had turned him on as well and when I noticed his cock twitching in his pants and the fond smirk on his face, I knew that he'd experienced Riley's seductiveness as well. There was something between them, perhaps not as tangible as what Jasper and I shared, but I felt them exchange it unknowingly. The casualness in which Riley spoke to Jasper, the way he made himself so comfortable in Jasper's home.

He was a friend.

And if I was reading the signs correctly, one with benefits.

I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that.

But, God, then Riley had pulled out his cock and practically begged for us to have sex with him, give him some relief. With his shaggy chocolate brown hair, dark eyes, and pouty lips beckoning us over to him, he was impossible to resist. Well, almost impossible. I wasn't entirely comfortable with him touching me, and I especially didn't want him touching Jasper but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to give him something. Having someone watch me have sex was one of my many fantasies but certainly nothing I ever thought would come to light.

I was starting to figure out that the more time I spent with Jasper the more he awakened the sexual being inside me...and I was a bit of a slut.

It had been nothing short of breathtaking to have Jasper on his knees for me, seeing him like that was always amazing, but to see him like that while someone watched empowered me like never before. Hell, running the department of a multibillion dollar company didn't compare with the power that Jasper let me experience by doing that. I admit, I sensed something between them, colleague or not, they had clearly been together in some way at some point, and having Riley watch Jasper blow me was a way of taking possession of him. I had long gotten over the idea that Jasper was something to be obtained, to be owned or had, but given his career, there were times I felt the need to claim him, make sure that everyone knew he was mine and mine alone, regardless of whose dick was in his ass.

Watching Riley while he watched us had been one of the most erotic things ever. I'd seen plenty of guys masturbate online, but seeing it live was a whole new world. Riley was lean, maybe even thin, but seeing his hipbones jut out every time he thrust up into his hand, hearing his raspy voice as he directed us, seeing the absolute pure sex in his eyes had been so much better than _any _porn I'd ever seen. His cock twitched while he stroked it, and I loved the way his lips parted and almost curled up as his eyes half closed when he neared his orgasm.

Just thinking about the way he had told me to fuck Jasper's face made me hard.

After Riley had left, Jasper was so worked up when he returned to the bedroom that he didn't even take the time to take off his pants before he was slipping a condom on and slicking my hole with impatient fingers. When I had told him I was ready, his cock urgently slid into me, his thrusts wild and erratic right from the start as he chased the release that had been building in him for the previous hour. With his lips on mine, our breaths mixing as he hovered above me with his fingers gripping my hair, he'd fucked me hard until he'd cried my name out over and over again as his cock emptied its warm seed deep inside me. Part of me wished Riley had been there to hear it, hear the pleasure that I had given Jasper, hear my name fall from his delicious lips.

I knew we still had a lot to talk about. I wanted to the truth on Riley, all of it, but there was no rush. There was time to revel in just us, and that was exactly what I wanted to do.

As gently as I could, I rolled over, careful not to disturb Jasper while still trying to keep his arms tight around me.

God, he was beautiful.

Sleeping peacefully, his eyelashes fanned across his cheeks, casting shadows along the high set bones. His golden hair was partially in his face and I carefully brushed it back, wanting to see his entire face so I could admire it better. Deep, steady breaths left his full parted lips, slight snores escaping him as his chest moved against mine.

Even though his actions and words always stated the direct opposite, he was angelic.

As lightly as possible, I skimmed my fingers down his side, letting my thumb rest on the scar that was right above his hip. Raised and slightly bumped, it marred his perfect skin, cloaking that inch or two of flesh as a constant reminder of his past life. A past life that I would've given the world to be able to take away, erasing it from his mind and memories so it would never plague him again.

Jasper had only given me bits and pieces of his past and none of it was highly detailed, but what I did know was downright horrifying to me. Not even in my worst dreams could I have imagined growing up in an orphanage, without parents, without _love_. My parents were far from perfect, but they had showered me and Alice with love and respect. The childhood I'd led had not only been filled with every material need I could have ever desired but I had been kept safe and warm and healthy.

All things I suspected Jasper had never felt until very recently, until me.

Before the previous night, Jasper had only told me vague details of being taken away from his parents and working the streets as a prostitute after leaving the group home. As much as I wanted to, I didn't push for more, but I hoped and prayed that some day he would trust me enough to bare his complete soul to me. Then while watching The Wizard of Oz, he shared a happy childhood memory, which I feared were few and far between, with me. I had never seen him so innocent, so childlike in his happiness, a contentment had fallen over him and it warmed me as well. The way his eyes had literally lit up when he had come back into our bedroom with the bowl of popcorn, the way he had jumped on the bed and snuggled down into me, the way he had felt in my arms as Dorothy began her journey had been nothing less than heaven.

I had lived in beautiful homes and apartments, but I'd never felt more at home than I did with him laying between my legs, his heart beating just for me. That thought made a warm hum spread through my gut and my heart picked up speed. My cock twitched against Jaspers leg and he stirred slightly, burrowing deeper into the bed as his arms cinched tighter around me.

As I lay there grower harder by his touch, there was no way for him to know that something Riley had said had seeped into my subconscious. His suggestion of double penetration hadn't left my thoughts. As curious as I was, I was embarrassed to tell Jasper that I was actually considering something as brazen and hedonistic as being with two men, as being _fucked_ by two men. I knew an escort wouldn't look down on me for my curiosity, but would the caring man I considered my... well, someone I cared about think less of me for it?

"Baby, I just fucked you a few hours ago," he rumbled, his voice rough with sleep. "What could possibly have you so hard that you're grinding a hole into my thigh?"

Blushing, I laughed awkwardly and cleared my throat, shifting so that I could lean forward and kiss his neck. "Just had a dream about you," I lied as I licked his skin, tasting remnants of sweat and maybe even cum.

"Must have been some dream," he muttered, slipping his hand between our bodies to graze my hard cock without even opening his eyes or lifting his head off the pillow. He lightly stroked me, the small caresses were enough to encourage my cock further but not get me anywhere. The teasing smile on his face gave away his ulterior motive, and I knew he wanted it just as much as I did. Slowly, his eyelids opened, revealing the blue eyes that stole my breath with their depth.

He watched me, that slight knowing smile on his velvet lips, his hand running over my cock and hips, exploring the body he knew all too well. Under his gaze, I felt more exposed than I had standing naked in front of a stranger. There was something about the way Jasper looked at me, something I had given up trying to identify, that made my heart race and tighten at the same time.

The night before he had asked me if I had felt it, and I didn't have to ask him what he meant, because I did feel it.

I felt it every time I was with him, and every time I wasn't. When he was near, there was a calm that settled over me, and when he was gone, an anxiousness that I couldn't shake. All I knew was I wanted more of it, the soothing feeling he brought me, the electricity that hummed through my body, the ache in my chest that only his presence could relieve.

Studying me, he laid there, his body reacquainting with mine after our brief slumber.

"Can I ask you something?" I murmured to him, feeling a moment of bravery. He nodded, placing a kiss on my nose. "Um…have you ever done…what…um Riley was talking about last night?" I rushed at the end, just wanting to get it out.

He hesitated, his mind recalling the previous night's conversation. I knew if he was anything like me, the images he remembered the best were of all the making love and the blow job. The second he realized what I was referring to, his eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Double penetration or a three way?" he asked for clarification.

"Both," I mumbled, lowering my eyes from his.

"Why?"

I felt the blush spreading from my cheeks to my chest, embarrassment creeping in at admitting the real reason why I had asked.

I wanted it.

Logically, I knew that I wasn't ready for anything like that, especially anything involving anyone besides Jasper but the fantasy of it... the thought of having two beautiful men focused on worshipping my body and bringing me to heights I'd never imagined was such a turn on.

"Edward?" he hedged.

"Because," I began, pausing to take a deep breath before continuing, "because I'm curious about it."

Raising an eyebrow, he asked, "Curious about the actual act of being double fucked, about being with two men, or about Riley?"

"Curious about...you know," I mumbled, gesturing with my hands in between us in a roundabout way. Smirking, he pulled me to straddle his lap, wrapping his arms around me to skim his fingers down my bare back as I lay flush on top of him. I shivered under his touch.

"No, baby, I don't know."

I knew he was teasing me. He just wanted to hear me say the words. Far be it for me to deny him.

"About...um, two men at once," I practically whispered, ducking my head down to avoid his gaze. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip and I was surprised to see his eyes darken almost immediately. Pushing off him a bit, I put some space between us.

Shifting his hips up minutely, he replied in a husky drawl, "Is that something you think you'd like to try?"

Still keeping my eyes averted, I shrugged my shoulders and murmured, "I don't know... maybe?"

I was so afraid of his reaction, afraid that he'd think it disgusting or that I was promiscuous, that I found myself struggling to give him straight answers. However, straight answers weren't necessary when my cock twitched against his stomach as I thought about being taken by two men. Of course Jasper felt it and his gaze slowly moved down my naked torso, his eyes hungrily landing on my erection.

Without taking his eyes off my dick, he growled, "That doesn't feel like a maybe."

Lifting my head, I found his eyes with mine, showing him that I wanted it, grinding my hips into his for added measure.

"You never answered my question?" I reminded him, knowing he had cleverly avoided it. His eyes flickered with debate, and behind the blue, a brief storm raged as he considered what to tell me, until he finally settled on the truth.

"Yes, I have."

"Both?"

"Both," he confirmed. Part of me wanted to know details, with who, was Riley involved, was it with a client or for fun, but the more reasonable part of me denied my curiosity and I accepted his answer as is. He was clearly relieved I didn't push, but I still had more questions.

"What did it feel like?"

"Honestly, it can hurt like a motherfucker at first. You need to be really relaxed, and I wasn't. But after awhile, it starts to feel really good. The burn becomes pleasurable and the feeling of being filled takes over. If one of them is in deep enough and they hit your prostate, it can be fucking mind-blowing," he answered quietly, but honestly.

"Have you topped during it too?"

"Yeah. That felt…fucking indescribable. I've never felt anything tighter. It's different than just regular fucking because you have to go really slow or you'll slip out. Everything in you is telling you to just, ya know, fuck hard, but you can't so while it's frustrating, it is the most intense sensation I've ever felt. Just really fucking tight and slick and…" he trailed off with a dreamy sigh.

"Would you ever do it with me?" I asked shyly, pressing my erection further into him. Groaning, he arched his back, the cords in his neck standing out as he strained against my weight.

"Fuck, baby, you can't say shit like that," he whined.

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me as hard as fuck," he replied frustrated.

"What does?" I pressed him for more.

"The thought of you being DP'd."

"By you and who else?" I asked, curious as to who he had in mind. Would Riley be the one he imagined with me or did he have someone else in mind. The storm that brewed in his eyes gave way to pure hunger and need as he his hands groped my ass, spreading it. Lifting his head, he attached his lips to my neck and I tilted my head to give him better access, ignoring the small sounds I made as he sucked his way along my tender skin.

"Baby," he smiled against my skin. "It doesn't have to be a 'who' ya know," he said, reminding me of my sexual naiveté.

"Oh."

"There are ways to DP that don't involve another man," he murmured against my neck. My body buzzed at the possibilities. Sometimes having a professional as your lover had serious advantages.

"Will you," I stopped suddenly, swallowing hard and biting my lip as I fought for the courage to finish my question. "Will you...show me?"

Groaning softly, his eyes rolled back in his head and he took a deep breath to steady himself. When his eyes met mine again, they were darker and glazed.

"Are you sure?" he asked huskily.

"Yeah," I answered, breathless.

He kissed me hard, slipping his tongue into my mouth but before I could really return it, he was moving me off his lap. Rolling onto my side, I watched his ass flex perfectly as he walked over to his dresser. When he bent over to open his bottom drawer, I whimpered and began stroking my cock. Standing up, he turned around and was holding had a gold, medium sized, sleek looking vibrator in his hand. I shuddered involuntarily, knowing that it would soon been bringing me to heights I'd never been before. Watching me intently, he came back to the bed and crawled up to me. There was something predatory in his eyes as he moved toward me with the toy in his hand. Instinctively, I backed up, scooting toward the headboard caught under the trance of his heavy, hungry stare. I was already panting when he moved over me, his hands on either side of my shoulders as he gazed down at me.

"Lay back for me, baby," he requested as he swept his lips across mine briefly.

Complying, I rested back against the soft pillows, trying to ignore the nervous anticipation that was settling deep in my stomach. Lying on top of me, he set the toy aside and pressed his mouth to my throat.

"Now, imagine a set of lips here." He puckered his lips to lightly kiss my pulse point before moving down to my chest. "And a tongue here." The wet ribbon of his tongue glided over my pebbled nipple.

"Unh..." I moaned as my back arched, letting my eyes fall shut so I could focus on his lust-laced voice and teasing caresses.

"Or teeth here," he murmured as he slid down my body to scrape his teeth gently over my hip bone. "And fingers here."

His nails scratched lightly at my inner thigh, my legs immediately opening wider in response. My breathing became heavier as Jasper clouded my mind with his desire and want and need, gradually lowering what inhibitions I was grasping on to. As much as I knew I wanted to try it, my body was conflicted between the impending pain and the guaranteed ecstasy it would simultaneously bring. Sinking deeper into the bed, my body relaxed even as my muscles tensed and coiled in pleasure when he continued placing sweet kisses over my hips and lower abdomen. I gasped when I felt the heat of his breath on the tip of my cock, my pelvis straining upward in an attempt to find the tight suction of his mouth.

"Or a mouth here," he whispered, his lips moving over the flared head, eliciting a moan and a twitch from me. Tugging at my sac with just the right amount of pressure, his fingers skimmed downward to my hole, tracing it with a fingertip. "And a mouth here."

"Jasper," I groaned as the image of what he was describing became all too clear in my mind. Behind clenched eyelids, I could clearly see myself, resting on my hands as knees on the bed as Jasper lay beneath me, his hands spreading my ass wide as I fucked his face. With no real details on the person, I could feel the slick caress of a tongue in my hole, the heat of another body behind me as my cock nestled deeper into Jasper's throat. Unknown fingers prodding at my entrance as Jasper kept my cheeks spread wide for them, his tongue tracing the large vein on my cock at the same time.

"Fuck, love," I whimpered when he deep throated me, making my little fantasy all the more real. I had been so engrossed that I hadn't even realized that he had slicked his fingers with lube until I felt the first one slip inside me.

"I need you as relaxed as possible, baby," he murmured around my cock. One finger became two as he sucked me deep into his mouth, pumping his fingers deep inside me until he hit my prostate. I knew he was trying to get me off, giving me an orgasm would have me sated and relaxed but it still didn't stop the rush of nerves that suddenly hit me. The reality of what I was about to do setting in, leaving me trembling.

"Just breathe, baby, please," he begged, replacing his mouth with his free hand. "I can feel you shaking. Just feel me. Focus on what I'm doing to your body." He stilled, watching me carefully. "We don't have to do this."

"No," I rushed out, lifting my head from the pillow so I could look into his eyes. "I want this, I do. I'm... I'm just nervous."

He smiled softly. "I know. That's okay. Just trust me, baby," he whispered before placing an open mouthed kiss on the tip of my cock, making me shudder in pleasure instead of fear. Nodding, I closed my eyes and took a deep, calming breath, refusing to let my anxiousness get the best of me. I knew I wanted it and I was determined to follow through.

His fingers moved more slowly then, easily gliding in and out of me as he took his time sucking me off, running his tongue around the head before flicking at my slit the way he knew I liked. Once my mind calmed, I was able to enjoy the sensations again and carded my hand through his hair, whining softly when a third finger eased in. My chest rose and fell quickly as my breathing became heavier and my thighs started shaking.

"Feels so good, love," I grunted when he started fucking me faster with his three fingers, the pleasurable burn spreading from the base of my spine around through my groin, excessively warming each nerve and fiber. He growled against me when I fisted his curls, lifting my ass from the bed to bury myself in his throat only to drop back down to get his fingers deeper. Without realizing it, I had propped myself up on one elbow to watch my cock fuck his face eagerly as my hips impatiently rose to repeatedly meet his mouth.

"So beautiful," I mumbled. His hips were shifting against the mattress, rubbing his hard cock into the sheets to get some sort of relief and the image was so fucking erotic. I felt my eyes roll back in my head as my orgasm began to roll through my body."I'm coming, love," I cried.

Taking me deep in his throat, he held me there and sucked hard, literally drawing my orgasm up and out of me, spurt after spurt shooting into his mouth. Bucking hard, I shook and moaned, my muscles locking as the climax washed over me. Gasping, I fell back to the bed, jerking my hips when his lips slid over my sensitive tip as he pulled away.

"So fucking hot, baby," he exclaimed, crawling back up to kiss me deeply. Lazily, I rolled my tongue against him, tasting the traces of my orgasm in his mouth as his heart pounded against my chest. Pulling back, I looked into his deep blue, hazy eyes and smiled, letting him know how grateful I was for what he was about to give me. He nodded with a gentle smile, sliding back down my body to position himself on his knees in between my spread legs.

"Okay, baby, me first," he said and I watched him tear a condom open. A few seconds later, I felt him pushing at my entrance, my body squirming as he breached the initial resistance. He had prepared me well and with one long, even thrust, he was buried inside me, his muscular thighs pressing against my ass.

Pausing, he bit at his lip. "Always feels so fucking good," he muttered, almost to himself as he looked down where we were joined. "Now the toy, baby. Tell me if you need me to stop. I'm going to go very, very slowly."

Taking a deep breath, I nodded, struggling against the panic that was swelling in my chest. Running a soothing hand up and down my leg, he leaned to the side and grabbed the vibrator before applying so much lube that I was shocked it wasn't dripping off and on to the bed. He was trying to make it as easy and enjoyable for me as possible.

My breathing hitched when I felt the tip press against my already stretched hole and Jasper's eyes flew to mine, double checking for any signs of resistance in my eyes. I made sure he found none even though my heart was beating so quickly I thought I might end up in cardiac arrest before it was all over.

"Oh," I whimpered when he pushed tip in. A deep, uncomfortable burn bloomed and I cringed, gritting my teeth against the pain. It was almost more than I could handle, but more than the pain, I trusted Jasper. I knew he was watching me, and while my discomfort was clear, he was pushing the boundaries I had asked him to push. There was no doubt he would stop, regardless of his own pleasure, if he thought it was too much for me. It was that trust and faith in him that allowed him to continue, vigilant in his care of me.

"Fuck," he whispered in awe, his eyes flittering back and forth from the toy to my face. Slowly, so very slowly, he pushed and wiggled it deep inside me as he continued to caress my body with his free hand; playing with my nipples, scraping lightly down my chest and stomach, ghosting over my limp cock.

"Just a... little bit...more," he panted. "Almost there...fuck, baby."

Jesus, I wasn't sure if I couldn't handle anymore, it already felt like I was being ripped in half. Fisting the sheets, I growled and gulped in air, silently begging for the so-called pleasure to show its face. Fucking finally, I felt the base of the toy hit my entrance and a large gust of air left me as I began to work at keeping my muscles still and relaxed. Clenching his eyes shut, Jasper's body trembled as he removed his hand from my chest to reach between us and turn the vibrations on. Immediately, the shockwaves traveled all the way up my body and I instinctively arched, only to fall back down as soon as the searing pain shot through me. My body was on fucking overload and confused, unsure if it was intense pain or intense pleasure that was being inflicted upon it.

I think it was mixture of both.

The buzz from the toy seemed to travel through my entire body and I arched sharply again, a keening wail leaving my lips as my ass clenched and fluttered against the intrusion.

"Stop, stop, stop," Jasper grunted, quickly turning off the toy and falling down on top of me. "Fuck, shit," he cursed through gritted teeth, clamping his eyes closed tightly. Confused, I stayed completely still, becoming more concerned with every second that passed, unsure of what I'd done wrong. Finally, his breathing became normal again and he opened his eyes, staring deep into mine.

"Sorry," he breathed. "I was about to fucking come. You can't even begin to imagine how fucking wonderful this feels. Jesus Christ."

I was really ready for the wonderful part to come because right then all I felt was pain.

"I know, baby," he murmured, almost as if he read my mind as he leaned down to kiss me. "It'll get better soon, I promise."

Rising back up to his knees, it was my turn to grit my teeth in hopes of stopping the pained whimper that threatened to escape me when his cock shifted minutely. Slowly, he turned the vibrations back up and that helped to ease the uncomfortable burn, though I wasn't sure I was ever going to get used to the extreme stretch. I felt his knuckles brush across my skin as he wrapped his hand around the base of the toy.

"Okay, baby, I'm going to move now," he said, taking a deep breath. "If you need to stop at any time, just tell me."

I nodded again and bit my lip, trying to relax my muscles as much as possible. Moving as gently as possible, he held the toy deep within me as he pulled his hips back, his cock sliding along the vibrator smoothly.

I moaned.

Softly.

When he pushed back inside of me, he directed the toy almost all of the way out.

I grunted.

Loudly.

My body felt like it was on fire, walking along the edge of sanity and bliss, each nerve firing off a bolt of pain only to be quickly followed by one of euphoria. Each time he pressed in and pulled out, alternating between him and the vibrator, the burn slowly became a constant pleasurable ache and the stretched feeling eased. Surprised, I spread my legs even further, letting loose a rapid growl that had been building throughout my entire body.

"Good, baby?" he asked through ragged breaths, wrapping his hand around my steadily growing erection.

"So full," I hissed.

"You look so fucking hot. You were made for this, Edward. So feral...so beautiful."

Normally I would've blushed at his compliment, but with my legs spread wide, a toy and a cock stretching my ass at the same time and a hand on my cock, I found myself unable to be embarrassed by his words.

"I'm going to speed up...a bit, okay?" he asked in a strained voice. I'd always admired Jasper's stamina, but I knew it was taking all of his effort to keep from coming. A beautiful flush covered his sweat-slicked chest and working its way up his neck to his cheeks.

"Please," I rasped. I felt like I was sitting on the edge of a cliff and I only needed one more thing to send me over until I was freefalling, the thrilling sensation readying to capture me for a few moments of rapture. Although I wasn't sure what that one thing was. Did I want faster or harder? Did I want him to focus on fucking me or stroking my cock?

I fucking wanted it all.

I gasped when he snapped his hips hard, both him and the toy buried deep inside me as it became more intense, more concentrated. Finally releasing the sheets, I gripped his wrist with one hand, helping him to push the toy as far in me as possible, wanting to feel the vibrations even more.

"Oh fuck," he mumbled, looking down once again at where we were joined.

"Harder," I gritted out.

I just needed a little more.

Unlike our usual love making, where he would take my prostate on every thrust in, this was creating a constant friction, as well as his hand flying up and down my cock and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. There was too much stimulation, too much of everything and I couldn't fight it anymore.

"Oh, please," I whimpered when he started fucking me harder. Raising my hips to meet his every thrust, I felt the sweat beading across my body. "I'm so close, love. So…close…so much…can't take it…so fucking full."

"Yeah," he grunted, holding the toy inside me while he continually rocked his hips in and out, gliding his cock along the toy. I felt everything, every millimeter of him in me, every vibration of the toy. I heard every moan, breath, and slap of skin on skin.

"Come for me, Edward. Let me see you, baby. God, I…" he trailed off, and I wasn't sure if he had lost his thought or had changed his mind. Instead, his eyes held mine, saying what he couldn't put into words. His fingers weaved with mine, holding tightly while he silently spoke to me.

A few more thrusts from him and the world went hazy, everything turning into stars and bright lights as the burn became a sweet inferno, encasing my body in an extraordinary heat that lifted me, carrying me on waves of fire that ebbed and eventually crested.

"Jasper," I screamed, feeling the goose bumps bloom across my entire body. His hand still encased my cock, but his other had abandoned the toy for my hand, clenching it tightly as he rode my orgasm with me.

"I'm here, baby, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he assured me, his presence surrounding me in his warmth and serenity.

"God...fuck...so good, so good, so good!" Incoherent words steadily fell from my lips as my cock erupted so forcefully that I felt a warm splash of cum hit my chin. My torso lifted off the bed as my stomach clenched and twisted, streams of milky fluid still pouring from my slit as he continued to stroke me.

"Oh, baby. Oh my fucking God. Gonna come so hard." His voice was raspy, filled with the sounds of raw sex. When he squeezed my hand, I opened my eyes just in time to his face contort in utter bliss, shudders wracking his body. "Yeah, yeah, oh fuck, yeah," he growled and I felt him twitch deep inside me as he released into the condom. Jasper was beautiful to begin with, but Jasper coming was a sight to never forget. An aura was created around him, one of release and ecstasy. We had made love the night before, but this was pure pleasure seeking, fucking to the extreme, and as much pain as it had initially caused, it had been worth it to see him like that.

With labored breaths Jasper collapsed on top of me, the toy slipping out of me without his hand to hold it in place. As I caught my own breath, I felt his open mouth kisses all over my neck, nipping and lapping at my skin while his nose nuzzled me, burrowing into the bend of my body. Inside me, his cock began to soften and I felt him sneak a hand between us as he shifted his hips and let his cock fall from me. When he had the condom off, he moved his hand from between us and buried it in my hair. Not lifting his head, I heard him sigh before speaking.

"Baby, that was just…"

"I know," I replied before he finished. There were no words.

As if he suddenly remembered, he lifted his head, the backs of his fingers brushing over my cheeks.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" he asked, looking over me for damage. Chuckling, I captured his hand and brought it to my lips.

"I'm fine, love. I won't be running any marathons anytime soon, but I'm fine."

I lay still while his hands examined me, grazing over my body in loving caresses. Satisfied I wasn't permanently damaged, he laid his head on my chest over my heart.

"So strong," he mumbled, but I wasn't sure if he meant me or my heart beat. Running my hand absently up and down his back, I appreciated his weight on me, the comfort he supplied was more than he realized.

I was only strong because of him.

"You're laying in cum, love," I whispered into his hair, almost giggling.

"Mmmm," he moaned, sinking deeper into me. "I can't believe we just did that." He lifted his head and looked at me.

"Me either," I agreed with a lazy smile. "I think when I go to walk I'll believe it though."

He sighed and shook his head a bit. "I shouldn't have agreed to it, it was too soon, you weren't ready-"

"Jasper," I scolded him. "I'm a big boy, I can make my own decisions on what I want to try. You're beautiful and hot and sexy, but you can't make me do something I don't want to."

I really wanted to wipe away his concerns for me. Yes, I hurt, I wouldn't deny it, but I also knew it was something I wanted to revisit again someday, only maybe not with a toy.

Smiling, he leaned toward me, his lips pressing against mine in a languid kiss, deepening it when I felt him moan and his fingers tightened in my hair. Outside, the world went by, completely obvious to what was happening between two boys in an apartment, how caught up in each they were quickly becoming. The day continued as any other while we had changed, we became even closer, the bond between us growing after sharing such intimacy. I had never felt anything like that before, not just the physical part, but the vulnerability and trust it created, and I knew he felt it too. They way he held me after, the gentleness about him, told me I had made the right choice with the right person. No matter what the future brought either of us, we would always have that time, that season in our lives where we lived for only each other.

Long moments turned into an hour as we did nothing but whisper sweet words and kiss, our hands always in contact with each other, leaving shivers in their wake. I felt myself starting to doze off when he nudged me.

"Baby, your stomach's growling," he laughed. Listening, I realized he was right. "Breakfast?"

"Shower?" I countered.

"Shower, then breakfast," he compromised. With one last kiss to my lips, he pushed off me and climbed off the bed. I grabbed his offered hand and let him lead me as I hobbled to the bathroom, where we continued our ministrations of each other under the spray of hot water.

"**~~**"

"I'll have the full stack with a side of bacon and hash browns," I said, handing the waitress my menu. Jasper's eyes skimmed his before he folded it and handed his to her as well.

"Two eggs, over easy, sausage, toast and hash browns," he ordered. She walked off and I felt his foot tap mine under the table. The simple act made me blush. I knew he was playing it cool for my sake, that he really wanted to hold my hand or stroke my cheek. Do all the things that normal couples are supposed to do.

"Do you come here often?" I asked him as I shifted uncomfortably, my sore ass reminding me of the wonderful morning

"First time, but I've walked by it a lot," he shrugged. "I just know I was too fucking hungry after maki-after this morning to have to cook."

Nodding, I sipped the coffee the waitress had brought us and smiled at him. Freshly showered, his hair was still damp, his waves still clinging to each other even after the brief walk do the diner. His eyes were bright even with his lack of a sleep. Then again, looking good on little sleep was probably something had gotten used given his work.

"So tell me, ba-Edward, where does Spencer think you are right now? Does he know you are with me?" he asked in a tense voice with a suspicious raised eyebrow.

It was a legitimate question but had come out of nowhere and caught me off guard.

The surprise of the piano had overwhelmed the night before. Then making love on it, watching the movie, Riley, it had all happened so quickly, leaving little time for us to talk.

And we needed to talk.

"No, he doesn't know where I am, and I have no intention of telling him. Yesterday after we checked in, we were on our way to our rooms and I told him that I had a lot of work to do and didn't want to be disturbed all weekend. No phone calls, no knocking on my door for any reason, nothing. I told him I'd see him Sunday afternoon so we could go over the agenda for Monday's meeting, but until then, I didn't want to see or hear from him."

"And how did he take that?"

"Not well, in fact, I'm sure he was standing at my door with a glass to it all night," I snorted. Jasper's brows furrowed.

"For a drink?"

"Drink? Oh, no, it's this old thing that if you want to hear something on the other side of a door, you hold a glass to it and put your ear against it."

"Does it work?"

"Never tried it."

Jasper looked down at the table, picking up a paper napkin he began to shred it into small pieces. "I still want to fucking kick his scrawny ass, ba-Edward."

Glancing around us, I covered his hand with of mine for a brief second before removing it. "I know, and thank you for that."

His jaw clenched, the muscles twitching, I could almost hear 'there's no place like home' in his head as he worked to calm himself.

"I fucking hate him. I hate that is forcing you to sneak around in the city that you used to feel safe to be yourself in."

Nodding, I hung my head. Jasper there was right, there was no denying it, but there was no way I could make him understand the situation I was in, the life I led. Just like me, he only knew parts of my past, bits of my responsibility to my career and my father. Sitting there in a diner two thousand miles from my home, I was still forcing myself to not touch him even though my body screamed to, and he was corralling his words for me.

All for the sake of someone hearing or seeing us.

It was no way to live and I knew it, but I also knew it was the way I had to live, at least at the moment, and dealing with Spencer was a reality for me. I leaned forward as much as I dared and forced his eyes to mine. There were flickers of anger and resentment there. They were small and brief, and not necessarily directed at me, but there were there all the same.

"Love," I whispered, "please don't be angry."

Sighing, he hung his head and shook it. "I'm not angry, I'm…frustrated. I mean, I fucking loved having you at my place last night and waking up with you this morning, it was amazing, but it fucking pisses me off that you are forced to lie and sneak around here because of that fucking asshole."

I had rarely seen his temper, and knew that this was only a miniscule fraction of what he was capable of. There was a definite hardness to him, his eyes darkened and narrowed, his forehead creased, his lips pursed. We just stared at each other for a moment, and if others had been paying attention, they would have known we were a lot more than friends out for a Saturday breakfast.

Behind us, a mother and child got up to leave, the mother holding her toddler's hand as she dragged him along. As the small boy passed our table, he dropped something near Jasper's feet that caught Jasper's attention. He broke our gaze and leaned down to pick it up.

Instantly, his demeanor changed, the hardness gave way to a vulnerability I'd rarely seen in him. His eyes lightened and a small smile teased the corners of his lips as he held a fluffy teddy bear in his hand. The previous flickers of anger were now ones of suffering and hurt.

"Ma'am," he called out after the boy's mother as he stood up. She turned and saw him with the bear.

"Teddy!" the boy yelled out, pulling on his mother's hand. Jasper squatted to bring himself down the boy's height. He couldn't have been more than four, but he was tall and lean with long blond hair and light blue eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was the spitting image of a young Jasper. The child let go of his mother's hand and ran to Jasper, stopping directly in front of him, his eyes darting back and forth between his bear and Jasper's face.

"Is this yours?" Jasper asked him with a smile. Eagerly the boy nodded, his eyes wanting what he couldn't say. "You know, I had one just like this when I was a boy about your age," Jasper told the boy. Intrigued, I leaned on the table, wanting to hear more. "Mine was named Teddy too, just like yours."

"Really?" the boy asked, his eyes widening. Jasper nodded and held the bear up for inspection.

"Mine was a bit darker, but he looked a lot like this one."

"Do you still got him?" the boy asked. Jasper sighed and shook his head.

"No, I lost him a long time ago. It made me really sad when I lost him, so you be sure to hold on your Teddy really tight, okay? You don't want to lose him," Jasper explained and I swear I heard a tremble in his voice. He held the bear out for the boy, who took it and hugged it to him. Grinning, Jasper reached out and ruffled the boy's hair.

"Thank you," his mother said, standing behind the boy.

Jasper shrugged and stood up. "No problem."

The mother gave him a smile and then took her son's hand again. "What do you say, Austin?"

Jasper just about fell over when she said the boy's name, but he looked down as Austin smiled up at him.

"Thank you," Austin mumbled, the bear so close to his face that it muffled his tiny voice.

"You're welcome, don't forget to hold on to him tight," Jasper said with one last ruffle of Austin's hair before the boy and his mother turned to leave. Jasper sat back down just as the waitress brought over our food and refilled our coffees.

Slowly Jasper began to eat. Every trace of his anger had dissipated, leaving behind an overwhelming sadness that I felt him trying to reel in. I ate, watching him through my lashes, resisting every urge I had to ask him about Teddy. With a heavy sigh, Jasper pushed his plate away and folded his hands on the table.

"Everything okay?" I asked, motioning to his uneaten food.

"I was eight when I lost him," he began, his eyes trained on his folded hands. "Teddy went everywhere with me, I had even brought him to school in my backpack. He was…dark brown with big eyes and floppy ears."

Pushing my own plate aside, I slid my hand over the table to his. Right then, I didn't care if my own father himself walked in and saw me. Gripping his fingers with mine, I held his hand.

"Tell me," I whispered.

"I had gotten him from Santa when I was two or three. It was the only present I got that year, but that was okay because he was perfect. Teddy became my best friend. Stupid, huh?" he scoffed. "We had stayed with some… friends of my parents in Galveston, and my parents had to leave in the middle of the night, so they carried me out the car when I was asleep and drove home. It wasn't until I woke up that I realized Teddy was gone. They had left him behind at their friend's house."

"Did they go back to get him for you?"

He snorted and shook his head. "No, they said they called the next day but that their friends didn't find him."

The idea of his parents not doing everything they could to get Jasper's bear back was unbelievable to me. It went beyond buying a new one; it was their duty as parents.

"I was pretty devastated for a long time. I really could have used him at the Home," he said absently, looking out the window. Suddenly, Jasper wasn't an escort or my lover, he was an eight year old boy missing his best friend, and my heart ached as I watched him remember. He had opened up to me, but I felt a need to know more. Perhaps it was curiosity, perhaps it was because he was someone I had shared so many intimate things with, or maybe it was something else entirely, but I had a thirst for his history.

"And Austin?" My question didn't catch him off guard like I suspected it might. Bringing his eyes back to mine, he gave me a knowing smile.

"Jasper Austin Whitlock," he said quietly. "Named after my granddaddy, or so I was told."

"It's beautiful," I told him honestly. "Just like you."

Rarely did Jasper blush, but his cheeks tinged pink at my words, and I gave his hand a squeeze. Even though the story he had told me was incredibly sad, I felt happy sitting there, in public, holding his hand. I wasn't happy from his story, far from it, but rather that he had trusted me with it.

It was my turn to share something that I had been hiding.

"The last weekend I was home, my parents had a dinner party," I began after taking a deep breath. "And my mother wanted me to bring a date…so I did."

There was no hiding the shock, and hurt, that flashed over his face.

"But I thought-"

"I brought a woman," I sighed. It was no secret, Jasper wanted me out, he thought my life would be easier if I was honest with my family and colleagues. By admitting that I had brought Kate to dinner, I was telling him just how far in the closet I was, just how deep my life's lie ran.

"Oh," he murmured. "What happened?"

"Dinner was a disaster. My father had invited Spencer as well," I admitted further and heard the small snarl Jasper released. "He was fine, an ass, but fine. Kate, on the other hand, was all over me. I swear she was like an octopus, as soon as I removed her hand from one part of my body, it appeared on another part."

Jasper's shoulders shook as he tried to contain his laughter.

"It's not funny," I smiled. "I was scared."

"I bet you were," he teased.

"The worst part? I had to bring her home where not only did she kiss me, but she invited me inside!"

I expected some sympathy, or at the very least a 'poor baby', but all I got was more laughter. Grinning so wide I could see his dimples, his eyes sparkled at me.

"So did you get any?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes, pretending to be aggravated by his teasing but in reality was fucking grateful for…just him.

"Ew, fuck no," I replied with a dramatic shudder. "I told her that I was an old fashioned guy who wanted to protect her virtue."

He laughed loud enough to attract attention. "An old fashioned guy, Edward? Did you happen to mention the old fashioned guy liked to have his ass fucked?"

"No, I most definitely did not," I chuckled.

"Did she believe you?"

"I think so. Although, she was persistent, but I explained the value of my morals, and she finally gave up."

"It's not so bad ya know," he whispered leaning in, "being with a woman."

"Tell that to my dick," I joked. He made no effort to suppress his moan.

"I will tell it later when I am more up close and personal. Something tells me that you might be a bit embarrassed if I did that here." My eyes glimmered with a fantasy. "Or perhaps not," he winked.

Before either of us got too worked up, we both began eating our cold breakfast, the food tasting much better after our mutual reveals.

We left the diner about an hour later, our stomachs full and hearts lightened. Jasper led us to a nearby park and we walked through, enjoying the rare Seattle sun. We walked past a bulletin board full of postings for all kinds of events. One was a classical pianist performance in two weeks. Excited, I noted the place and time.

"Can we go?" I asked Jasper, pointing to it. "I'll be in town."

Immediately, his mood changed, darkening as quickly as it had at the diner and I wondered what I had said wrong.

"Ummm, I don't think I'll be able to make it," he said sadly, shifting his weight.

"Why not?"

"Let's walk," he suggested. We walked for a few minutes in silence before he spoke. "Edward, my job requires me to be, um, what is that word? Like a doctor is?"

"On call," I supplied for him.

"Yeah, on call, all the time. Sometimes things are scheduled and I know in advance, but other times, I might get less than an hour notice."

"Then we can go and if you have to…um leave, then we leave," I suggested, trying to brush aside the thoughts of Jasper having to up and leave me for someone else. He was quiet as we continued to walk, and I assumed he was thinking about my idea, until he spoke again.

"Edward, I won't be in town that weekend," he finally said quietly.

"At all?" Even if I had wanted to hide the hurt in voice, I wouldn't have been able to. He stopped, pulling me as close to him as he dared in public, and I wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him, hold his hand or brush his hair back, anything to tether him to me. Shaking his head, he hung it a bit and I knew he felt awful, but that didn't lessen my own sadness.

"But…" I trailed off as the realization of not seeing Jasper for four weeks began to set in.

"I know, baby. I'm so sorry, but there's nothing I can do," he sighed. "You once told me that you had to put your work first, and now I need to."

There was no denying I knew what it was like to live for your career and nothing else. After all, I had been doing it for years. My work often dictated my vacation time, my down time, my weekends, and just about everything else. There was no way I could fault Jasper for being a devoted employee. With his bottom lip between his teeth he waited for me to say something, to either be pissed off or accept our fates and go about our day. Something nagged at me though, and I had to know more.

"Where are you going?"

"Edward," he mumbled. I didn't give up though; I lifted my chin and raised my eyebrows. He sighed again. "Texas."

Not what I was expecting, but I nodded anyway. Why would someone want to take him to Texas of all places? That was where he was from, but no one knew that.

"Come on," he said. Tugging on my sleeve, he pulled me along until I was matching his long stride. "I'm sorry," he repeated and I knew he meant it, with everything that he was, he meant it, but there was a confusion about him, his eyes were clouded again, something I hadn't seen since the night of…

"It's him," I stated undoubtedly and Jasper just nodded. My heart halted when I said the words and then ached when he confirmed it. Instantly my body tensed as my mind recalled the dinner party and Jasper working his magic on his client.

The way his client had touched him intimately and with such familiarity.

The way Jasper had blushed and smiled and whispered in his client's ear.

The way they had left together to go back to a hotel to have sex.

The way the man must have touched and fucked Jasper.

Anxious, I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to run, tired of thinking about him being with someone else, tired of the ache it caused my heart and the anguish I knew it would cause in the future. I wanted to tell Jasper that I couldn't handle it. It was easier to accept him being with men I didn't know, I could pretend it wasn't what he was doing but I'd seen _that_ man. He was sexy and confident and out and I had _watched_ him touch and kiss my Jasper.

It was too much.

As much as I wanted to run, I didn't.

Instead, I was determined to make sure that Jasper didn't forget me while he was gone; I was going to make sure that while someone else's dick might be in his ass, it was me that would in his heart. Our time was limited and the last thing I wanted to do was argue, or spend it worrying over something that was weeks away.

"I don't like it," I admitted, "but I understand you have to go."

The clouded azure of his eyes cleared and filled with a new emotion, one I had only seen glimpses of but it soothed my aching heart and made it swell.

"Thank you, baby," he whispered. He wanted to kiss me, but he settled for a brief squeeze of my hand. We started to walk again. "So what do you want to do? Want to go to Pike's Market again?"

Shaking my head, I said, "That sounds nice but I've got a better idea. I don't feel like sharing you with Seattle today, so how about we go back to your place, snuggle on your couch, have popcorn and watch The Wizard of Oz?"

Grinning wildly, he nodded. "Sounds perfect."

"Maybe get some pizza and beer later?"

"Um, you'll have to buy the beer," he reminded me with a blush. It amazed me that someone that had lived as much as Jasper wasn't old enough to drink. Laughing, we headed out of the park and hailed a cab. In the back seat, we held hands and kissed during the ten minute drive, and before we knew it, we were getting out and on the elevator to his place.

After getting into pajama pants and tee shirt, we snuggled on his couch and he started the movie. I spent the next two hours wrapped up in his world, surrounded by the warmth of his embrace and the steady beats of his heart. When I felt his lips on my neck and his nose nuzzling my hair just as Dorothy met the scarecrow, I knew without a doubt there was no place I would ever rather be than there with him.

Nothing had ever made more sense to me than being with him.

There were roadblocks in our path, some bigger than others, but it was the small, precious moments like that, when he held me close and breathed me in, that made all the trouble worth it. We didn't make love, or even get naked. Instead we held each other, we kissed and let our hands casually caress and graze. Mine seemed to spend the most time in his hair and under the hem of his tee shirt while his were either on my ass or lightly rubbing my back.

We were laughing at the Cowardly Lion's antics when his phone vibrated on the table. With a muttered, 'fuck', he leaned over me and grabbed it. By his heavy sigh I knew it wasn't good news, I knew he was leaving.

"Don't go," I asked, pleading, keeping his arms around me. "Stay with me, pretend you didn't get the message."

He leaned his forehead against my shoulder his breath whisper soft when he spoke. "I'd love to, baby. Trust me, I want nothing more, but I can't, she knows I got the message, I have to go."

Sighing, I leaned back into him and turned my head, searching for his lips. Kissing him was everything good in the world wrapped up, the simple act did things to me that I never thought possible, and at the same time, it reassured me that it was me that he truly wanted to be with. Finally, he broke the kiss.

"I gotta go get ready," he said regretfully. I moved so he could get up from behind me and watched him as he headed for the shower. Turning back to the television just in time to see the flying monkeys carry Dorothy and Toto off, I put my feet up on the table and sighed.

About twenty minutes later, Jasper reappeared in dark suit and white shirt, looking like he could have walked out of any men's fashion magazine.

"Wow," I whistled. "You look fucking amazing."

"Thanks," he smiled as he grabbed his wallet. "I won't be long, probably a bit less than two hours, between the appointment and the drive there and back." He sounded so…technical, businesslike. Standing, I went to him and straightened his tie for him.

"I don't like that you look so good for someone else," I admitted. He cupped my face in his hands and brought my lips to his, his tongue sweeping over them before entering my mouth where it twisted with mine. Panting, I pulled away and put my forehead to his. "You got to go."

"I do."

"What am I going to do while you're gone?"

"Bubble bath? Piano?" he suggested. "Or, remember this morning?"

How could I forget?

"There's more in the bottom drawer of my dresser, you can play if you want," he offered with a wink and wicked smile. I laughed but I had to admit, the idea intrigued me. Not the playing as much as seeing what kinds of other things he had in there. It was the magical mystery tour whenever Jasper opened that drawer; I never knew what he was going to pull out.

"Hurry back," I told him, my stomach churning and twisting at the thought of sending him off to hurry up and get another guy off so he could come home and do the same to me.

"I will," he promised and with one last kiss, he was out the door.

And I was alone.

Sighing, I turned the movie off, it didn't seem right to watch it without him, and went to the piano. Walking around it, I dragged my fingertips along the smooth, shiny, veneer, touching it like it deserved. Jasper might not have known the first thing about music or pianos but whoever had helped him had great taste. It was beautiful and perfectly tuned. My heart warmed, I still couldn't believe he had thought to get it. In my life, I'd had some thoughtful things done for me, but none of them even came close to what Jasper had done. I know getting a piano into his apartment hadn't been cheap, and the thought of him going out and doing it just because I liked to play amazed me.

It had done it for _me_. Not anyone else.

Sitting at the bench, I tapped the keys randomly, letting my mind settle into the notes, each one calming my turmoil more until I was finally playing a song. There was no sheet music, I played from memory, songs I had known since childhood and others more recently. Closing my eyes, I let my hands float over the keys, instinct taking over as I felt the music as much as I played it. The notes took no concentration, my mind free to wander, and it quickly settled on images of Jasper and another man.

The man from the dinner party.

The one that would be spending an entire weekend with my man. I wondered what they would do in Texas. Two step? Eat barbeque ribs? Rope cattle? I snickered to myself.

The most obvious answer as to what would occupy their time was the one I wanted to avoid the most. Why would someone want Jasper for a weekend besides fucking? I wished I could take him away, some place safe where I could show him that he was so much more than just a fuck for me. God, he was so much more.

Images of someone in a cowboy hat and chaps kissing him assaulted me. I missed a note and sighed.

I need a bigger distraction.

I went to his desk and opened his laptop, knowing exactly what it was a perfect time to do. Opening a browser, I went to one of my favorite places to shop and searched through my options, finally settling on something I thought would be perfect for Jasper. After purchasing it, I went to a site I'd never been to before, but found what I was looking for pretty quickly ordered it. Satisfied, I got up and began to explore his apartment. Since arriving the night before, other than his brief naked tour, I hadn't had a chance to really see it. As I walked around his living room, I noticed something, or rather the lack of something.

There was nothing that said Jasper to me. The furniture, while very nice, was impersonal. The walls were empty except for a few pieces of art in the living room and one in the hallway. Every room was the bare minimum, completely devoid of any and all things personal, except his clothes. It could have easily been mistaken for a model home if not for the toiletries in the bathroom, food in the kitchen and the used condoms in the trash bins.

It was a house, not a home.

There were no pictures of family or pets, nothing about his past whatsoever. It was like he hadn't existed before he had moved into the apartment, and I guess in a way that was true. He had been homeless, and probably had brought very little with him from Texas, but what had happened to the stuff he did bring? Had his life in Texas been that bad that he wanted to wipe it completely from his memory?

I thought about the diner and the look on Jasper's face when he had talked to the boy. The pain that he couldn't hide, the quiver of his voice as he told his story. There was so much about Jasper that I didn't know, from the basics like his favorite color and song to what in his childhood had caused the pain I had witnessed earlier.

As much as I complained about my family, I couldn't imagine my life without them, spending Thanksgiving and Christmas alone, or celebrating my birthday with only a bottle of liquor to keep me company. I was sure I would never survive something like that. When the pangs in my heart increased, I decided to take Jasper's advice. I went to his bedroom. Again, other than basic furniture, the room was empty of him.

Except for one place.

Biting my lip, I eyed the bottom drawer of his dresser, unsure if he was honestly okay with me going through his things, but I was so damn curious that my fingers were twitching with the urge to open it. Determined, I walked over and kneeled in front of it. Slowly, almost afraid someone would walk in and catch me snooping through his things, I pulled out the drawer, my jaw falling open when I looked inside.

"Holy shit," I whispered in awe.

Jasper had his own personal sex shop right in his apartment!

Resting on top of a black mat was an array of toys, ranging from dildos to... well, to things I didn't know the names of. I could tell one thing for sure, Jasper was organized.

Separated and categorized, he had every kind of dildo and vibrator I could think of, from the small, sleek multicolored to very large, flesh-like ones in black and white. I spotted the one he had used that morning, it had been cleaned and was now sitting on the end. Almost afraid to pick them up, my hand hovered over them before picking up the largest one, not even able to wrap my fingers all the way around it. Prior to that morning, to feeling Jasper_ and_ one of the smaller ones in me, I never would have thought that someone could actually fit that in them. Placing it back down with a small shiver, I moved on.

Next were a varying range of cock rings and, from what I had learned from porn, bullets and plugs. Most of the rings were jellied but he had two that were steel and looked rather painful. My cock seemed to be trying to retreat into my body and I adjusted it in sympathy, silently letting it know that I would never torture it with a ring. The bullets and plugs seemed pretty standard, though much like the dildos, he had some plugs that looked like they would be extremely uncomfortable.

"What the hell?" I muttered to myself when my eyes landed on the next object. White and medium in length, it looked like some type of probe or an oversized ear canal cleaner. The base of it was almost bumpy with two slender pieces coming from the bottom, both pointing outward and up. I had absolutely no idea what it was used for. Picking it up, I turned the dial on the bottom, almost dropping it when it started pulsing in my hand.

Note to self: Ask Jasper about its function.

After a few more minutes of inspecting it, more or less trying to figure out what the hell it did, I placed it back in his spot. The next item made my slightly scared cock peek its head out of the cozy nest it had made inside my body. As a boy, I had taken lessons, although it was something I had rarely done since then, I knew what it was and what it was used for. Long and narrow, made of black braided leather with a triangular shaped end, I knew the smack it could deliver.

A crop.

That particular item I had also seen in porn but never in action, always too afraid to open any videos that involved men crawling on their knees and being chained to the ceiling. However, I had seen big, burly men wielding it in the screen caps to certain videos and I knew its purpose. Jasper was not one of those kinds of men, he wasn't into being bound and gagged, and I was curious as to why he had one. Did his job require him to perform such acts on others or was it something he enjoyed and I just didn't know? I picked it up, touching the flat of it with my other hand before skimming it down my chest.

That made my no longer scared cock twitch.

Intrigued, I pulled off my tee shirt before very lightly flicking it over one of my nipples. That single sensation made a low moan form in the back of my throat. It stung a bit, but in a good way, sending tingles that slowly spread down my stomach to my groin.

Note to self: Ask Jasper about the crop.

Reluctantly, I set it back down, fighting the urge to play with it a bit more. I didn't know how to use it or even exactly what to do with it so I decided to wait for Jasper. My cock disagreed with me but I ignored it.

Then, I spotted them.

There was no ignoring my cock that time.

Anal beads.

Immediately, I recalled Jasper using them on me, the way they had felt inside me when they stretched me and vibrated. How he had twist them slightly to brush against my prostate, how deep they had gone.

"Fuck," I whispered as I palmed my hard cock, pushing my hand down and squeezing the sensitive head through my thin sleep pants to relieve some of the ache that was forming. I couldn't resist. I picked them up and felt their weight in my hand, turning them over before pushing the dial, groaning softly when they began to vibrate. God, they had felt so good. A wet spot was forming on my pants from the precum I had begun to leak and I knew there was no way I'd be able to will away my erection.

Shaking my head, I put the beads down and moved onto the next item.

Huh. I wondered why Jasper had two flashlights in his toy drawer. I could understand keeping on in his bedside drawer, but his dresser drawer seemed odd. Picking one up, I instantly realized it was lighter than it should have been and when I tipped it over, saw there was no lens.

It wasn't a flashlight at all.

Unscrewing the top, I gasped when I saw what it was. There was a flesh colored spongy material where the lens would have been, but more intriguing was that it looked exactly like an ass, complete with a hole. My eyes widened as I imagined the possibilities.

Jasper _had_ told me to play...

Biting my lip, I closed the drawer and stood, my stomach already tightening in anticipation as I looked for the lube. After grabbing it from the nightstand, I set down the toy and took off my pajama bottoms before climbing onto the bed. Kneeling, I squeezed some lube onto my cock and then rubbed it all over. Then, holding my cock with one hand and the toy with the other, I placed the head at the entrance and slowly slid the toy down my length.

_Oh, fuck!_

Immediately, my head lolled back and I let out a loud moan. Tightly embracing my cock, the fake flesh was apparently ridged inside and I felt each and every ring as I began to slide it up and down. It was so much better than my hand. My breaths quickly become labored as I maintained an even pace, my hand moving the toy steadily over my cock. As good and realistic as it felt, I wanted more. Pausing, I took the toy off and reached for the pillows, placing them before me. Straddling them, I put the toy in between two of them, angled up toward me and while holding it with one hand, plunged my cock into it with one long thrust.

"Fuck yeah," I moaned, flexing my ass as I began to fuck the toy, my cock easily gliding in and out of its tight hole. The suction was strong every time I pulled out, intensifying the sensation even more. Bracing my hands on either side of the pillows, I began to fuck it in earnest.

I had never topped, and that was as close as I would probably ever get.

Closing my eyes, I imagined Jasper under me on his stomach, his ass up and spread for me as I made love to him with long, deep thrusts. I could almost hear his moans over the sounds my dick made going in and out of the toy. I could almost hear the distinct sound of skin slapping. His body heat surrounded me and my heart pounded with the effort of pleasing him. Each roll of my hips brought me closer to my approaching orgasm. Hanging my head, I concentrated on Jasper's ass, how tight and warm it felt. It had been empowering to fuck his face, I could only imagine what it would feel like to take him completely.

As my thrusts quickened, becoming erratic and losing all rhythm they had once had, I saw Jasper's blond hair darken, his skin pale and his muscle tone disappear. Gradually Jasper's image faded and the body beneath me was wiry and thin as it writhed and begged with dirty words for more.

"_Yeah, fuck me ass, fuck it hard. Feels so good."_

The voice was raspy and seductive, and it was definitely not Jasper's. Alarmed, I shook my head a bit, but the image remained and my cock pulsed in the fake ass. Deciding it was no big deal, it was only a fantasy, I gave in to it, fucking it even harder than before. Gripping the pillow where his shoulder would have been, I wantonly thrust forward, constantly emitting guttural sounds as I got closer to my climax.

"Yeah? You like me fucking your ass, Riley?" I groaned. Just as the tingling that had been hinting all along began to spread through my groin and up my spine, there was a knock at the door. "Fuck," I mumbled through clenched teeth, my entire body stilling, my cock only a few thrusts away from erupting.

"Fuck," I repeated, dropping my head to the pillow. Jasper had never said what to do if someone showed up. Nervous, I pulled out of the toy and grabbed the pants I had tossed on the floor. Padding down the hall bare-chested and bare-footed, I went to the door. I glanced at my erection tenting the cotton pants before looking through the eyehole.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the shaggy hair and mischievous eyes, the very same ones I had just been fucking on Jasper's bed.

"I know you're in there, Jas, I heard you," he said to the door. "Get your dick out of Edward's ass and answer the fucking door."

I wasn't sure if I should answer, but I didn't want him to cause a scene in the hallway either. With a thundering heart and twitching cock, I unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door enough to reveal myself but not let him inside. Keeping my body turned, I concealed my erection, which only seemed to get harder when I saw him.

"Well, fuck me," he greeted, surprised to see me at the door. His eyes raked over my messy hair and naked chest. "You got Jas tied up someplace, beautiful?" he asked looking over my shoulder. "Can I join the party? You can tie me up too."

"He's not here," I answered, suddenly very self conscious. Excitement flashed in his eyes as he reached out and ran a fingertip down my neck to my chest. I couldn't control the involuntary shiver that flowed through me.

"Are you going to invite me in, Edward?" My name sounded like silk when he said it.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I replied.

It was most definitely not a good idea. After falling victim his skills the night before with Jasper by my side, I knew I didn't have a chance against him without backup.

He sighed and leaned against the door jamb. "I need to see Jasper, I can either wait out here alone in the hall or I can wait in there with you. I think with you sounds like much more fun."

Hesitantly I shook my head.

"I promise to be good," he snickered before pouting out his bottom lip. "Please?"

He was harmless, right?

Releasing a nervous sigh, I opened the door wide enough for him to enter and then closed it behind him. Before I even turned around, Riley was sitting on the couch with his feet on the table and the remote in his hand.

"Don't tell Jas," he motioned to his feet. "He hates it when I put them on his table." Smiling, he turned to me and patted the empty spot next to him. "I won't bite."

Covering my dick, I walked over and sat at the far end of the couch, shrugging when he raised a brow at the distance.

He turned off the television and tossed the remote on the table. "Never fucking anything good on anymore."

"Why do you need to see Jasper?"

Lazily, he turned his head toward me. "Just got something to tell him. Now why don't you tell me what's got you so hard? Been watching porn or thinking about me?"

I had hoped he wouldn't notice, but I should have known otherwise. Spotting a hard on for him was probably like me finding the weakness in an opposing board member.

"No, I wasn't watching porn," I answered honestly. He moved closer, curling his leg up under him and resting an arm along the back of the couch, his thumb reaching out to stroke my shoulder. My breath hitched at his touch and the twitching cock in my pants did not go unnoticed by him.

"And the other?"

"I was…I was thinking about Jasper." It wasn't a complete lie. He smirked, knowing damn well I wasn't telling the truth, not all of it anyway.

"You're delicious," he moaned, shifting even closer until his knee was pressed against my thigh. "Everything about you is…I can see why Jasper's been keeping you to himself. He used to be good with sharing too."

Feeling dazzled by his seduction, I stared at him as his eyes traveled over every inch of me. His other hand began to lightly graze my forearm, going further up on each pass. I wanted to ask him so many things, but the words were lost as my mind reeled with each of his touches. I felt powerless and enthralled at the same time. The aura of sex that surrounded Riley was thick and used. Inhaling, I caught the faint musky scent of sex laced with a trace of something burnt around him.

"Where did you go last night?" I blurted out, my cheeks flushing as I remembered what we had done.

"Back to work," he shrugged, his eyes crawling over me, following the path of his fingers along my arm.

"As a hooker?"

"He told you," he didn't ask, but stated, not the least bit embarrassed. He shook his head, making his hair move in all kinds of mesmerizing ways. "Yep, had to pound the pavement until I found someone that wanted to pay to pound me."

He moved impossibly closer, pushing my personal boundaries that didn't seem to exist with him.

"Speaking of pounding, you want me to take care of that?" he whispered, motioning to my cock.

_Yes._

_No._

The hand on my arm grazed over my collarbone before wrapping around the back of my neck and into my hair briefly. His other skimmed over my shoulder and arm until it finally came to rest on my abdomen. His fingers brushed along the soft skin, my muscles quivering as he circled my navel with a fingertip.

Leaning even closer, I felt his breath on my face. "If you weren't Jasper's boyfriend, I would have had you bent over this couch five minutes ago."

"Boyfriend?" I choked out.

It was a term I hadn't really thought about until then. I mean it fit, I guess. We saw each other regularly, we made love, we had even gone out on a date. Would Jasper think of us like that?

_Boyfriend._

I repeated it several hundred times in my head, liking the way it sounded more each time.

Resting his palm flat on my stomach, he licked his lips. "That's what he said."

"_He_ called me his boyfriend?"

"Yep."

"So like, was he serious or did he say it like he was kidding?"

"Why do I feel like I'm at a fucking teenage girl's sleepover gossiping about cute guys?" He sighed, dropping his head onto the back of the couch. "Last night I asked Jasper if you were his boyfriend and he said 'yeah'."

My heart raced and it wasn't because of Riley's hands on me.

_Boyfriend._

"It's a good thing he told me or my dick would be so deep in your tight ass right now."

_Boyfriend._

"Did he say anything else?"

"Umm, just that he was going to marry you someday, and how beautiful you would look in white satin."

Confused, I stared at him.

"I'm joking, beautiful. No, he didn't say anything else."

"Oh."

"You guys want me to pass notes in class too?" he chuckled.

I was still stuck on boyfriend when the door opened and my _boyfriend _walked in. In one hand he carried a pizza box and in the other was a bouquet of flowers. Looking very confused, his eyes shifted warily from me to Riley, and then to Riley's hand resting on my bare stomach just above my very prominent erection.

"When I said you could play, I didn't mean with Riley."

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

M&A won Best Slash in the Immortal Sins contest, huge thank you to everyone who voted! The banner is posted on my profile. You can see a complete list of winners here http:/darksper DOT blogspot DOT com

Also, if you are interested in some Strippersper (PWP/fluff), a J/E slashy one shot The Golden Banana is now posted on my profile.

Chapter title is one of my favorite movies, a great romantic comedy starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine


	21. No Ruby Red Slippers for Me

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Okay, remember those other chapters that I was nervous about posting? Well, really, really nervous about this one! When I started this chapter, I didn't realize how much there was to cover, and when I hit 18k, I told Dannie I thought we should split it up. So this is part one of this chapter, part two is not complete yet, but I am working on it (the entire chapter is over 28k so far).

Jasper pov written by Touchstone67, Edward pov expertly handled by Domward's Mistress.

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

Sweat ran down the cords of his neck as he lolled his head back when I thrust up into him. His head fell forward, his hair sticking to his forehead as he licked his lips and watched me with the darkest, most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.

"Yeah, baby, right there," I moaned when he circled his hips just right. Bracing his hands on my chest, he tweaked my nipples and smirked when, even with his weight on me, my back arched off the bed. I grabbed one of his hands in mine, holding it over my heart. My other hand was on his hip guiding his delicious movements on my cock. From the way his breaths quickened, I knew he was close, his untouched cock bouncing just above my navel with each thrust.

Keeping his hand in mine, he leaned backward a bit, letting me sink deeper into his ass, the head of my cock brushing over his gland.

"Oh fuck," he groaned long and loud. He was shameless in his desperate need for me, in his want to be fucked. I was scheduled to fly out in less than four hours and had been in the middle of packing when he had surprised me by knocking on my door. I barely had the door open, much less time to ask him what was in a bag he was carrying, before he was pushing me against the wall and peeling off his coat, letting it slide to the floor. There was a rawness about him that I'd never seen before, but reveled in. Following his lead, I stripped the rest of his clothes from him, and then my own, leaving them scattered down the hallway as we undressed on the way to my bedroom. I didn't even take the time to ask him how he was there in the middle of the day.

I really didn't fucking care how he was there, as long as he was.

The first word he had spoken was a breathless 'please' when he begged me to fuck him. He needed it; he needed to feel me inside him one last time before I went away with another. Even if he never said it, I knew that's why he was there, because I felt the same way. When he straddled me, he wanted to be in control, he wanted to set the pace, he wanted to watch me while I was in him.

And I gave it to him.

Our lovemaking was slow and sensual and languid, not one touch or kiss was hurried. We were in the moment for only each other, no clients, no business meetings, the rest of the world faded away and our breaths were for only each other.

"Like that?" I asked him, shaking my head trying to move my hair off my face. Reaching up with his free hand, he brushed my waves off my forehead, running his fingers through the dampening curls several times.

"So beautiful," he sighed, completely content. Blushing, I stared at him, stilling while he sat on me, grinding his hips into mine. "Feels so good."

Slowly, we brought each other to the brink and back down again, each time gripping the edge, digging fingers into flesh until we regained control and could continue. There were no toys, no fantasies, just him and I expressing with our bodies what we were reluctant to say with our hearts.

Goodbye.

"Oh Jesus," I murmured, the need to thrust into him growing by the second. I wanted to hold off longer for him but watching him ride me was too fucking erotic, and the rapture I had been staving off repeatedly was threatening with more force than ever. "Baby, I can't hold off anymore, gotta come."

Nodding, he lifted his hips, knowing I needed to thrust and to feel the friction of his entrance along my cock. Still holding his hand tightly on my chest, I used my other to support his weight as I began to frantically buck up into him, my cock gliding in and out of his slick, heated hole. The musky scent of our fucking hung heavily in the air and I breathed it in deep, filling my lungs with our mutual odor. Falling forward, he put his free hand next to my neck for balance as I continued to plunge up into him. Capturing his eyes with mine, I held his gaze. I watched his orgasm build inside him, spreading up from his groin throughout his entire body.

"Baby," I whispered, staring into his eyes.

His untouched cock erupted into my chest, painting me in streams of white cum as his body was lost in his long denied climax. Collapsing on top of me, his grunted into my neck, his body shuddering, the spasms of his ass clenching my cock tightly. His hips jerked as his cock emptied, mine preparing to do the same deep inside him. I felt him take the tender skin of my neck between his lips. I felt the suction and I should have stopped him, it would be hard to explain later, but I didn't, I let him do it.

I let him mark me.

When he bit down, my cock exploded, filling the condom as I gripped his body to mine. Weaving my fingers into his hair, I fused his mouth to my neck, tilting my head to give him more access. At that point what he was doing felt so fucking good I didn't care. I liked that he was making me his, it was a controlling side of Edward I wanted to see more of someday.

My cock twitched inside him as the last shot of cum left me. Panting, I shifted his weight off my hips, hissing when my cock slid out of him. Lying completely on top of me, Edward's sweaty body melted to mine, his cum adhering us to each other while we both came down from our orgasms. We were silent as we kissed and breathed and held each other, our hands not exploring but rather reacquainting after almost two weeks apart.

I felt his fingertip tracing the bruise I knew was forming on my neck.

"I'm sorry," he murmured apologetically. "I shouldn't have."

His head rested on my shoulder and I turned mine toward him. "It's alright."

"No, it's not. I know I'm not supposed to do that, but I just…"

"I know, baby, I know."

I pulled him closer, if that was possible, and just held him. Long quite moments passed, ones we both relished and regretted. Each one moved us closer to the time when I'd be gone.

I wasn't looking forward to going back to Texas. Actually it fucking scared the shit out of me. Nothing good had ever happened to me in that state, and I didn't know what kind of ghosts I might run into once I arrived there. However, I was grateful that Peter would be by my side through it all.

Edward's steady, comforting breaths washed over my chest, his fingers running lightly up and down my arm.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work right now?" I asked.

"Umm…there was a meeting scheduled, but I delayed it. It's no big deal." He began to leave open-mouth kisses over my shoulder and my body responded with quiet whimpers. Gradually he worked his way down my body, paying special attention to my nipples and hips bones. "I have something for you."

"Something besides what you're doing now, because that feels pretty fucking good."

"Umm, a little better." He grinned and pushed himself up. "I'll be right back."

Running from the room, I heard him in the living room and then in the bathroom, where he ran the water. I hadn't moved when he returned, still wearing his cum, a stupid smile on my face, and a hazy look in my eyes. Bending over, he wiped my chest and stomach with the towel he had and then threw it on the floor before climbing onto the bed. He sat next to me, crossing his legs, his gorgeous, sated cock hanging between them.

"Here," he said pulling out a box with a simple blue wrapping paper on it. I sat up, mirroring his pose.

"A present?"

"Open it."

"It's a present," I repeated, flipping it over and over. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had been given a present. We were given some presents at the home on Christmas, gifts donated by local families, but all mine had been confiscated by bigger, stronger kids. I turned the box over, running my hands along the smooth paper. "What is it?" I asked suddenly, looking up.

He tilted his head and smiled. "Just open it, love."

Biting my lip, I hesitantly ripped the paper and exposed a plain brown box. Tossing the paper aside, I put the box on my lap and peeled the tape back. My eyes darted up to his before opening the flaps and looking inside.

It was something dark.

Reaching in, I felt something soft and fluffy.

My eyes widened as I realized what might be in the box.

Before I continued, I looked at Edward.

"Teddy?"

Grinning, he shrugged his shoulders. Slowly, I pulled the bear out of the box and held it up. It wasn't the exact same, the eyes were wider and the thread of his mouth and nose was a different color, but the shade of brown was almost an exact match, as were the floppy ears.

"Teddy," I whispered reverently, my hands petting the bear's cashmere soft fur. Dark eyes looked back at me, and somehow I saw the lost boy in them, each shade of glassy brown holding a different memory from my childhood. I resisted the childish urge to hold him to me and hug him, to bring his plush coat up to my nose and breathe him in. I resisted the urge to let the tears that I felt prickling the sides of my eyes to fall.

"Edward," I began, finally looking up at him. There was a look of sheer joy on his face, complete and utter happiness.

"It's kind of a silly gift, but…"

"It's fucking perfect."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know exactly what color or style. I hope it's close."

"He's perfect," I sighed, almost sadly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, worry instantly creeping into his voice.

How could I tell him that while the bear brought back happiness, it was laced with a sadness as well? Squeezing the bear in my hands, I felt the pull inside me strengthen to a force I hadn't felt before. My heart felt like it might burst, and it kind of hurt and felt warm at the same time. Then the warmth spread outward, throughout my body, following the opposite path of when I had climaxed earlier. That feeling had started at my cock and ended at my heart, this one started with my full heart and ended with my empty cock. It had been years since I had felt anything remotely like that, the feeling of belonging, of being safe and _home_. All things Edward brought out in me, unburying them from the dark places of my soul, bringing them into the light and letting me experience them once again.

I hadn't thought about putting the name of an emotion to the pull. Sometimes it hurt, sometimes it felt good. In a lot of ways it was like fucking. Only I didn't have to be fucking Edward to feel it. In fact, I felt it when we were completely dressed, alone, or in public.

I felt it when he was sleeping next to me in bed or when he was sleeping two thousand miles away.

"Jasper?" his asked softly. "I didn't mean to upset you, I just thought-"

"I'm not upset. Just the opposite actually," I took a deep breath, attempting to control the strengthening pull. "It's the best present ever."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Just wait," he said eagerly before reaching into the bag and pulling out another box. Much smaller than Teddy's, it wasn't wrapped but rather covered in a dark blue velvet.

"What's this?" I asked when he handed it to me.

Rolling his eyes, he motioned to it. "Open it and find out."

He was practically bouncing on my bed. I could feel the excitement emanating from him, his body hummed with anticipation as he tried to remain still. I turned the box over my hands several times before finally opening the top. Nestled in the velvet inside was a beautiful watch. In the center of a shiny silver band was a black, numberless face with two silver hands extending from the center. The face was covered with a flat crystal, and where the twelve should have been was a small, green gem. It appeared to sparkle when it caught the light.

"Wow," I said in awe. Tentatively, almost afraid to touch it, I ran a finger along the outside of the face. "Edward, I don't know what to say. It's…wow."

I was literally speechless, the words stumbled over each other to get out, ending up in stuttered 'wows' no matter how hard I tried to focus. He sat in front of me, smiling and watching me with his intense eyes. When I looked more closely at the gem, I realized it matched the color of his those beautiful intense eyes.

"Babe, this green thing, what is it?"

"An emerald. They normally do gold or a pearl there but I had this one custom made for you. I thought an emerald was more fitting."

"Because it's just like your eyes," I said, glancing up to him. "Not quite as beautiful, but close."

"I was actually thinking more like the Emerald City," he admitted. "But if it reminds you of my eyes, even better. Go ahead, put it on."

Smiling, I looked back at the watch and took it out of the box, feeling its heavy, solid weight in my hand. I flipped it over to undo the clasp and the back of the face caught my attention.

There was something engraved on it.

Glancing up at Edward, I saw his knowing eyes as he watched me. Tilting the watch, I read the inscription.

_There's no place like home._

"There's no place like home," I read. If I thought I was speechless before, I was completely blown away by the engraving, the personalization of it and the meaning behind it.

"I wanted you to have something to remind you of home while you're gone. I want…I hope that maybe you might think of me as your home."

Taking a deep breath, I slowed my racing heart, the pull inside me twisting and burning my insides. My blood was heated as it flowed in my veins, and I could do nothing but stare at him.

_Home._

Edward was my home. I knew that now. I'd never really had a home, not one that I cared to remember, but Edward was giving me a second chance, a chance to experience something I hadn't realized I missed.

"You_ are_ my home, baby," I murmured quietly, the words getting caught in my constricting throat. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to mine, sweeping them back and forth before pulling away.

"Put it on," he requested again. He sat back and I held out my wrist for him. Smiling, he took the watch and wrapped it around my wrist before doing up the clasp. "It's beautiful on you."

The silver contrasted against my skin as I turned my wrist to look it from every angle.

"Why a watch?"

He looked down at his lap, his fingers twisting around each other as he considered his words. "Because when you're away I wanted you to be able to look at it and know exactly how much longer until we're together again. Until you're home with me."

"C'mere," I whispered. We met half way, our lips crushing together. Unlike the kiss we had earlier, this one was demanding and needy. I didn't need a nice watch to remember him, he was with me everywhere I went, and he needed to know that. His tongue plunged into my mouth, seeking my own out, tasting, solidifying what we were. Gasping, I broke the kiss, but kept my hand wrapped around his neck, buried deep in his hair.

"I don't know how to say thank you for these, Edward. No one has ever given me anything like this before. I don't know what to say," I admitted honestly. "I just…" My voice choked and I stopped.

"I know," he said for me, stroking his thumb along my cheekbone. Closing my eyes, I committed it all to memory, his touch, his scent, his voice, all of it. We sat like that for a few minutes, time ticking away on my watch, time that we were quickly running out of. Sighing, I opened my eyes to find him watching me.

"You need to go."

Nodding, I swallowed."I need to shower and then finish packing."

Silently, he got off the bed and waited for me. Taking my hand he led me to the bathroom, stopping just outside it.

"Jasper, don't wash me off," he begged in an urgent voice. His hand clasped mine tightly, almost keeping me from the bathroom. I glanced down at the watch.

"I have to, baby. I promise I'm putting the watch on as soon as I get out and will only take it off for showers."

He wasn't completely satisfied but he nodded in understanding anyway. Undoing the watch, he set it gently on the counter and then led me to the shower.

"If you have to do it, at least let me help."

After the water had heated up, he pulled me inside where he washed every part of me with precision and care, not one spot went untouched by his hands, usually followed by a kiss of his lips. He left a trail of kisses all over me; every spot he thought might be followed by another's lips. When he was done with my hair, he quickly washed himself and then we kissed and held each other for as long as I dared.

An hour later, we were standing at my door while I waited for Aro to arrive. We both felt a bit lost, unsure what to say or do. Our bodies were in constant contact. If I moved to get a drink, Edward followed me, his hand in mine. When he bent over to tie his shoes, I rested my hand on his shoulder. When we kissed, his hands were under my jacket, their heat searing through my dress shirt.

"Let me take you to the airport," he pleaded.

"That's probably not a good idea," I sighed. "What if…"

"You're right," he mumbled.

"Hey," I said sharply, putting my fingers under his chin, I lifted it. "It's not like that. Aro might ask questions. He doesn't know you've been here."

We both jumped when the buzzer rang.

"Mr. Whitlock, you're car is here," a voice said over the intercom.

"He will when I walk downstairs with you," he grinned and grabbed my hand.

Shaking my head, I grabbed the handle of my new suitcase and we headed out down to the car. We held hands in the elevator, but as soon as soon as the doors opened, his grip loosened and he dropped my hand with a sad smile. Wheeling my bag behind me, we walked through the lobby side by side, each of us knowing it was our last few minutes together.

Aiden held the door open and we walked out onto the sidewalk, easily spotting Aro standing next to the black Lincoln. With a polite nod to me, he came over and took my bag.

"Hello, Aro."

"Sir, you look well today," he greeted me with a tip of his hat. "Mr. Cullen, pleasant surprise to see you again," Aro smiled at Edward but winked at me. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you," Edward replied in a polished and well trained manner. Sometimes in the throes of passion, when his body was working in tandem with mine, nothing more than grunts coming from his lips, I forgot what a professional he really was and the important and powerful position he held.

Opening the trunk, Aro put my bag in, and then he opened my door. "I'll be in the car when you're ready, sir."

Once he was behind the wheel, Edward turned to me. Standing close, he reached out with his hand and took mine in his.

"Thank you for coming. Thank you for the watch and Teddy," I said as I weaved our fingers together.

"I'm going to miss you," he admitted, moving even closer. "I wish you didn't have to go."

"I know you do."

Sighing, he leaned forward, resting his forehead on my shoulder. Tilting my head, I nuzzled his hair and put my lips near his ear.

"I'll be thinking of you," I whispered. It wasn't a lie. While I knew my focus would be on Peter, there was no way that Edward would not be in my thoughts. He nodded against me before lifting his head and without looking around, captured my lips with his.

People walked by, some might have looked, others probably didn't care, but it was a busy public street, and Edward kissed me. It was an innocent kiss for us, but it meant everything. The soft caresses of his lips, even the teasing tip of his tongue, were enough for me. My hand went to his lower back and I daringly pressed his body to mine, moaning when he let his hand wrap around my neck. The kiss ended with hushed murmurs of goodbye. Sliding his hand from my hair, I felt his fingers brush over the large bruise on my neck, partially visible just above my collar. A slow satisfied smile crossed his lips, and I couldn't help but feel a little happy at the thought of belonging to him. The fingers of his other hand grazed over the face of the watch, reminding him it was there, and not coming off.

"You promise to return to me?" he asked quietly.

"Promise."

Stepping back, he gave me one last smile as I got into the backseat and he closed my door for me. Sitting back, I waved to him as we pulled away. I turned, watching his image get smaller as our car was swallowed by the traffic.

He never moved, he stood there and watched me leave to go be with another man.

The further away we got, the more the pull began to tighten and ache. Reflexively, my hand went to my chest, my palm flat over my heart when it clenched. I watched until I could no longer see him anymore, then I turned in the seat, staring out the window.

"Sir?"

"I know, Aro. Dangerous game," I quoted him.

I had just left one man to go be with another.

I was beginning to think Aro was right.

Watching the buildings pass by, a fucking anxiousness began to fester in the pit of stomach, and uneasy feeling I had grown used but hadn't felt in months.

"Aro?"

"Sir?"

"So we have time to drive by docks?"

"Yes, sir."

I had to see him before I left. It had been almost two weeks since I had caught him with his hands on my boyfriend, since I had caught them playing house without me. Closing my eyes, I remembered it clearly.

"When I said you could play, I didn't mean with Riley."

Grinning, Riley sat back, leaving one hand on Edward's bare shoulder.

"Jasper...ummm...we...I…" Edward stuttered, fucking blushing like he'd got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Riley's fingers stroked Edward's neck, enjoying watching him squirm.

"Relax, beautiful," Riley said, winking at me behind Edward's head. "He's not upset. He knows I wouldn't do anything to his boyfriend."

I immediately looked at Edward to see if he was offended by the foreign term. I was surprised to find not only was he not offended, but he had a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Do I?" I teased.

_Yes, I did._

"Nothing happened," Edward began worriedly, shifting his weight on the couch.

"I know, baby," I ran a finger under his chin, "but then what's got you so hard?"

"Umm," he muttered glancing between me and Riley. I put the pizza on the table before sitting in the chair across from them.

"You were in the drawer, weren't you?" I smiled knowingly at Edward.

Riley raised an eyebrow at Edward. "Drawer? Is that like being in the closet?"

"His toy drawer," Edward mumbled and Riley looked at me.

"Oh, really? Since when do you need toys? You're pretty well equipped naturally," Riley smirked.

"They're for work."

Riley turned back to Edward, curiosity all over his face. "So what toy were you using?"

Blushing, Edward shook his head. All I had to do was go into my room and I'd probably find evidence of his playing, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"The flesh thing."

"Lips or ass?"

"Ass."

_Interesting. _

"Aw beautiful, you don't need a toy for that." Riley quickly stood, his fingers nimbly undoing the button of his pants. "I've got something way better than any fucking toy."

Hesitant and embarrassed green eyes flashed to mine. As much as I enjoyed watching Edward blush and stammer as Riley teased him, much like a cat batting a mouse, I jumped into to save Edward.

"Keep it in your pants, Rile, and eat some pizza instead."

"Eating pizza is hardly the same as getting fucked," he sighed, sitting back down but not doing up his pants. When he reached for the pizza, I remembered the flowers I was still holding in my hand.

"These are for you," I said to Edward, holding out a bouquet of red and white…something to him. Grinning, he took them from me and held them to his nose, inhaling deeply.

"They're beautiful carnations."

So that's what they were.

Riley cleared his throat. "Where are mine, dear?"

"Damn, I knew I forgot something."

"Haha. Fuck you," he smiled before opening the pizza box and grabbing a slice. "Well, at least I get hot food."

The look of sadness that crossed Edward's face surprised me. I hadn't thought much about Riley's offhanded comment, it was just fact, but to Edward it was a different and unimaginable life.

To Riley, it was just his life, nothing more, nothing less.

We ate pizza and Edward excused himself, I assumed to go clean up the bedroom. Riley wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned to me.

"I've got a message."

Sighing, I rubbed my temples. I knew it was coming, it had only been a matter of time.

"Apparently you're a week behind?"

"Maybe."

"Jas, I don't know what you're paying him, but you can't miss any payments. He'll come after you. Hurt you really bad."

It wasn't me I was worried about.

"I'll be fine. It was just a slow week at work."

"Bullshit. I know what happened," he challenged, looking over at Edward's piano.

"I'll just give him more next week."

"Please don't fuck around with him, Jasper. I don't know what I'd do if you got..." He trailed off unable to finish.

_Ditto._

"I'll be careful. You gotta be too, okay? No unnecessary risks."

"You mean like getting into strange men's cars so they can fuck me?"

"Exactly," I chuckled. "Speaking of risks, I'm going to be out of town in a few weeks."

"With your_ boyfriend_?" he chuckled.

"No. Texas with a client."

"What? Fucking Texas? Are you fucking serious?"

I nodded.

"What the fuck, Jas? Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. It's only for two nights. And it's not Houston."

He shook his head. "Fucking Texas. I hate that fucking state."

I had to agree.

Edward came back in, but instead of sitting next to Riley like before, he came over to me and sat on my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck. I leaned my head into his, running my nose along his scruffy jaw.

"Ew, please, not in front of me," Riley joked, rolling his eyes at our affections. We talked for a bit longer until Riley decided it was time to go back to work. With a kiss to Edward's cheek and a lingering one to my lips, he said goodbye.

"If you want company while he's away, beautiful, I'll be on 4th street every night. Come see me," Riley offered before heading out the door. Edward snuggled deeper into me, laying his head on my shoulder. I knew it was hard for him to know where I had been, that only a few hours before I had been getting fucked by someone else. He needed to just be held by me. Still, holding Edward always led to making love to Edward and I felt my cock stirring.

"Did you really call me your boyfriend?" he asked quietly.

I nodded, my lips running along his neck. "I did. Is that okay?"

"Definitely," he moaned, tilting his head back for me. My cock twitched again.

"Baby," I began, "how about you show me how you used that toy on yourself?"

Hiding his face into my neck, I felt the heat on his cheeks just before he nodded. Getting up, he led me to the bedroom and lay me on the bed. With a constant blush on his face, he went to my drawer and took out a Fleshjack.

"Where do you want me?" he asked, holding the toy in one hand while his other hand palmed his quickly growing erection.

"Right here, baby," I directed, patting the bed next to me. Rolling onto my side, I propped myself on an elbow. He lay on his back next to me. After putting the toy down, he reached down and tugged on the elastic of his pajama pants, pulling them down past his cock.

"So beautiful," I whispered. It wasn't just his physically beauty, which was breathtaking alone, but something else he possessed, something I couldn't name. I only knew it made my heart race and the pull stronger.

It was adorable when his hands trembled as he reached for his cock. He stroked himself a few times, his hips eagerly rising to meet his hand after only a few quick pumps. After one last glance to me, he picked up the toy and opened it. His cock waited for him, twitching and liberally leaking his excitement as it hovered hard above his stomach. He placed the toy at the end of his cock, the fleshy lips poised and ready to suck. Slowly, he slid it down his cock, his back arching off the bed at the sensation, a long moan escaping him.

"Fuck," he groan. "Feels so good."

With one hand, he pumped the toy steadily up and down his shaft, his hips lifting to meet it each time. His bottom lip was pulled between his teeth and his eyes fluttered closed as he rode the edge of his climax, the frustration from being interrupted earlier finally being released. He rubbed his other hand over his chest, pinching and tugging on his nipples before flattening his palm and stroking his abdomen hard. Finally his hand settled on his balls, twisting and fondling them. My eyes widened when he planted his feet on the bed for leverage and spread his legs part. He alternated between holding the toy still with both his hands and fucking it and keeping his hips still and pumping the toy over himself. Slowing his pace a bit, he opened his eyes and let his head fall to the side to look at me. He let go of his sac and bringing his hand up to my cheek, he ran the backs of his fingers down it. I grabbed his hand and brought it to my nose, inhaling his scent on his hand.

"Talk to me," I told him, my own hand unzipping my pants and diving into my briefs for my cock.

His eyes were hazy with lust but remained on mine. "It feels warm, like your mouth. The lips are soft and tight."

"More," I pleaded as I pulled my cock free of my underwear.

"You're on your knees, sucking my cock."

"More."

"I grab your hair and hold your head and you just let me fuck your mouth," he groaned at the last few words. Doing as he had said, he weaved his fingers into my hair and pulled me to him, his lips waiting for mine. Kissing Edward was nothing short of amazing every time. Even the lightest kiss from him was enough to send my heart pounding. Kissing him while we both jacked off was even more amazing. Moaning into the kiss, he writhed next to me, his hands furiously moving the toy over his cock. Our lips rested against each other, sharing our mutual gasps and pants.

"Close," he warned. I desperately wanted to lift my head, to watch his cock when it shot his load, but I couldn't bring myself to leave his face. Gazing deep into the eyes that I got lost in every time he was near, I felt the pull grip and warm my insides.

"Come, baby," I coaxed him. His body was wracked with shudders as he whipped the toy off and flung it aside. Without further touching or prompting, creamy cum shot from his cock onto his stomach, streams landing in lines on his pale skin.

"Oh God, love, oh God," he chanted. One of his hands fisted the bedspread while the other was still deep in my waves. As each swell of his climax hit him, his cried out, my name often floating off his lips while his body enjoyed the euphoria. Long moments later, his body finally relaxed, sinking into the bed.

"Fuck, that was amazing," I muttered, leaning over to kiss him. "Now how about you roll over and let me fuck that fine ass of yours?"

He smiled lazily, opening his eyes slowly. "Mmm, I love it when you talk like that."

Pushing the toy aside, he pulled his pants off and rolled onto his stomach. Not even bothering to lower my own pants, I poured lube on my fingers and inserted them into him briefly before I was pulling a condom on and thrusting into him.

"Fuck, your ass feels so good, so tight," I groaned into his ear. Laying flush on top of him, I slid in and out of him at will, his body held down by my weight. I kissed along his shoulders and neck, wrapping him in me. Moans and murmurs filled the air with the scent of our sex.

"Love," he groaned and sent me over the edge. Only a few thrusts later, I was coming hard deep inside him.

"Only you, baby," I promised him quietly, though I wasn't sure what I was promising. I couldn't promise him my body, for that belonged to many, but there was one part of me that he clearly possessed, whether he knew it or not.

The pull was only for him.

I rested my forehead on his shoulders, gathering the strength to separate our bodies.

Aro coughed and I opened my eyes, almost forgetting where I was after being so lost in memories of Edward. Outside the Lincoln, the buildings faded from upscale skyscrapers to abandoned mills with broken windows and graffiti decorating the bricks. Following my directions, Aro pulled up to the last building on the left. If I knew Riley, it's where he'd be sleeping off the high from the night before.

"I'll be right back," I said as I opened the door before he could even get out. No sense calling even more attention to us.

"Do you want me to go with you, sir?"

"No, I'm good."

I headed for the building, entering through the broken door at the end. Quickly I went up the two flights of stairs and then down the hall. The stench of decay was strong and I held my breath. Sure enough, when I entered the huge open room, I found Riley in his favorite corner, furthest from the door, away from the windows and draft. Curled up on his side, he lay shivering. The thin sweatshirt and jeans he had one weren't enough to keep the chill out. Walking over, I squatted beside him, but out of reach in case he woke up startled.

Nothing more dangerous than a scared junkie.

"Rile."

He stirred but didn't open his eyes. Hesitantly, I reached out and tapped his shoulder before quickly withdrawing my hand.

"Rile."

"Mmmm," he moaned, slowly opening his lids, revealing glassy, bloodshot eyes. Residue from whatever he'd taken the night before was still in his bloodstream. "Jas? You slumming?"

"Came to see you." I looked him over, making sure the rest of him wasn't fucked up in some way. He was dirty and reeked of sex and drugs, but he seemed unharmed. "You okay?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Slowly he sat up, yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Why are you here?"

I shoved my hand into my pocket and pulled out several twenties. "Take this. I'm on my way to the airport, I won't be home all weekend."

"That this weekend?"

"Yeah."

He took the money, stuffing in into his pocket.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"Rile, get-"

"Food, not shit. I know."

Brushing his hair off his face, I smiled and debated on giving him a key to my place, but quickly decided against it. I wanted a place to come home to.

"You going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine, Jasper, really." He flashed me his trademark wicked grin. I couldn't explain why but my heart sank as I stared into those glossy eyes.

"Riley, let me get you to a hotel, get you off the streets for a few nights," I offered quietly.

"And leave this five star place to settle for some cheap ass hotel you'd put me in?" he shot back quickly.

"Rile-"

"Jas, just go, I'll be fine. This is what I do, where I live, it's okay. Go to Texas, I'll see you when you get back."

It was no use arguing with him, he wasn't going to budge, and I couldn't blame him. Regardless of how dirty or used we were on the streets, we had one thing that couldn't be taken away, and that was our pride. Riley was already giving up a piece of his pride by taking the money from me. Leaning in, I kissed him softly, pulling away before he had a chance to deepen the kiss. He tasted like stale cock. Instead, I pressed my lips to his forehead.

"Jesus, you're fucking cold." I shrugged out of my coat. "At least take this."

He raised an eyebrow as I held it out to him. "It's not my size."

"Rile," I sighed. Nodding, he took it and put it on, color instantly coming back to his cheeks. "See you as soon as I get back. Be at my place Sunday night about eight."

"What day is today?"

"Friday."

"Okay."

"Don't forget," I said.

"I'll put it in the calendar on my phone," he smirked.

"Asshole." I stood up. "Bye, Rile."

"See ya, Jasper. Thanks for the coat." Rolling over, he curled back up, his body swallowed by the long wool coat I had given him. Not only would he be the warmest whore on the street, but the best dressed in his Armani overcoat. I jogged downstairs, ignoring the moaning and groaning coming from the different rooms as people got high, or came down from them. Opening the car door, I slid in the seat and exhaled heavily.

"Everything okay, sir?"

"I hope so," I sighed.

"Do you need to swing by your place for another coat?"

I looked at him in the mirror. He's an observant fucker. "No, that's okay. I won't need it in Texas anyway."

"Very good, sir," he said as he turned the car around and headed for the airport.

"**~~**"

There were people everywhere.

"I'm not sure where to go," I said to Aro as he got the bags from the trunk and set them on the sidewalk.

"Mr. Carlson said he would meet you inside," Aro said as he closed the trunk. "Want me to wait here?"

Swallowing, I looked around. "No, I can do it. Thanks."

"Call me if you have a problem, sir."

"I will. Thanks. See you Sunday."

"Have a good time, sir."

Taking a deep breath, I put my smaller bag on my shoulder and grabbed the handle of my suitcase. Pulling it behind me, I went through the glass doors. If I had thought the outside was crowded, the inside was a mass of confusion. People walked around me, brushing and bumping into me. They all seemed to know where they were going, and were in a fucking rush to get there. Standing there in the sea of them all, I looked around.

He was about twenty feet away, his eyes scanning the crowd before landing on mine. With a huge grin and wave, he headed toward me. He looked…incredible. Wearing a light blue dress shirt with no tie and the top few buttons undone, a tweed jacket, jeans and cowboy boots, he looked the most casual I'd ever seen him.

Well, besides fucking naked.

"Jasper," he greeted me breathlessly. Without hesitation or care, he wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me to him, his lips meeting mine in the first time in almost a month. The crowds parted and walked around us as he kissed me, his mouth opened, his tongue running along my lips before briefly twisting with mine. My body molded to his, enjoying reuniting with his strength. I felt his hand cupping my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin as he pulled away. We were surrounded by people, yet I could barely see or hear them. Peter's presence washed them all away, leaving us alone in the busy airport.

"Fucking been waiting a month to do that," he sighed with one last kiss."You taste so good. I've missed it."

Pulling away, he looked me over, his eyes already hungry as they skimmed over my face. They narrowed, growing cold and dark when they reached my neck. Releasing my cheek, his fingers tugged at the collar of my shirt, pulling it away from neck.

"Someone got a little too frisky with you," he growled.

"Causality of the job," I shrugged.

"At least the marks I give you fade quickly."

"But they sting like hell," I smiled.

"I don't like someone treating you like that," he sighed before bending over to pick up my bag.

"It's fine," I assured him.

It was more than fine.

Feeling Edward's lips on my skin, feeling his need, had definitely been more than fine.

"Ready? We need to check in," Peter asked, directing me to follow him. He led us to a long counter where we waited in line until our turn. He handed our tickets to a lady and she typed on a keyboard, asking him questions. I looked around us and saw a lot of people waiting, mostly with bored or annoyed expressions. It seems all their rushing around had only been to wait in more lines. When Peter handed the woman my suitcase, panic began to rise in me.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a hard whisper.

"Checking our bags," he replied calmly. After the woman marked them, she placed them on a belt. I watched my suitcase go through a small opening. Turning, Peter took my hand and we headed down a huge open hallway.

"Jasper, have you been on a plane before?"

Biting my lip, I shook my head; my eyes kept going back to where my suitcase had gone. I almost admitted I'd never even been to an airport.

"Where are they going? Will we get them back?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes, they'll be on the plane. They load them in the cargo area. When we get to Texas, they should be there," he assured me calmly, not pressing any further.

Had I known I wouldn't have my suitcase with me, I would have packed Teddy in the duffle bag on my shoulder instead. After finding out I'd be traveling on a plane, I had asked Riley how to pack. His body contorted in laughter and he promptly told me he 'wasn't a world traveler and had no fucking clue'. Then I resorted to Google to found out how to pack, but I thought both bags would be with me on the plane. I hoped I'd see Teddy again; I didn't want to lose him again so soon after getting him back. Sighing, I let Peter lead me to a long line.

"What's this?"

"Security. You will need to empty your pockets, take off your shoes and put your bag on the belt to be scanned. I'll go first, just do what I do."

Nervously, I watched others go through the motions, some were efficient and others fumbled to do it quickly. Peter went, his shoes were off and he emptied his pockets before walking through an arch, doing it all with a practice ease. I followed his example and made it through the other side where Peter was slipping his shoes back on. I did the same, barely grabbing my bag before his hand was in mine as he led me down yet another crowded hallway.

"Everyone seems to be in such a rush," I huffed as he steadily pulled me along.

"They are trying to catch flights. If one plane is late, they might miss a connecting flight," he explained.

_Connecting flight?_

We fought the wave of people together, weaving in and out of families with strollers and business people with briefcases. Finally, he began to slow down as we approached the end. Guiding us to a row of chairs, he sat down, pulling me down next to him.

"What now?"

"We wait to board, it shouldn't be long. First class boards first."

I sat back in the hard plastic seat, my hand still in Peter's on the armrest between us. Looking around, I saw a few people glance at us. I was used to the scrutiny, the dirty looks and snide remarks, but I wasn't sure if it would bother Peter. The dinner party had been different, it was his element, his people and he felt comfortable being himself around them. Next to me he shifted his weight, and I began to uncurl my fingers from his, assuming he was uncomfortable with the looks we were receiving.

I expected his hand to fall limply from mine, but instead, his grip tightened. Turning to look at him, I saw a confident smile on his face. Then he leaned toward me and kissed me, brief and light, but enough to send a message to all our onlookers. When he sat back, he was still wearing a grin.

"I don't care what they think. In fact, think they'd mind if I fucked you right here?" he asked, motioning to a few disapproving people across from us.

"They might," I replied. Laying my head on his shoulder, I sighed. There was something about Peter, something so freeing that it soared inside me. I was out, I didn't hide that I preferred cock, and that I liked it up the ass, but I also didn't flaunt it either. Well, maybe walking the streets to find dick had been flaunting it, but it was only for money. Even if I wasn't gay, I would have to fucked men to make it on the streets, there weren't enough women looking for hookers to have kept me alive.

But Peter lived it, it was who he was and it touched everything he did. From the charities he supported to his colleagues to something as simple as walking through an airport. The closer the time came to leaving, I grew more curious about him. He had let me see glimpses of his life, into his work and playtime, but in awhile I was going to see so much more of him. A new side to Peter was going to be exposed in the Texas heat and part of me couldn't wait to see it.

There were planes outside the windows, some pretty fucking close.

"It's so big, how can it fly? I don't understand."

"It's all physics," he smiled. I had no fucking idea what the hell physics was, but I trusted Peter did. Still, physics or not, the things were too fucking big to fly.

"Babe, time to go," he said, nudging me with his elbow. Standing, he pulled me up and we headed toward a long thin hall. My hand was still tightly in his when we entered a small doorway and he led us down a thin aisle with rows of seats on either side. He stopped at the last row and reached above him to open a compartment.

"You can put your bag in here." I nodded and handed him my duffle bag. He put both of them in the bin and then motioned for me to sit down. "Since it's your first time why don't you take the window seat," he offered.

I moved around him and sat in the seat near the smallest window I'd ever seen. I had only seen planes from the outside and was amazed at how big they actually were on the inside. A fucking lot of people could fit on that plane. Rows and rows of seats separated by two aisles were behind us. As I sunk into the seat and looked out my window, my heart began to race. Outside, I saw tractors of some kind pulling wagons that had a bunch of suitcases on them. Desperately, I tried to search for mine.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked me in a soft voice, his hand covering mine on the armrest. "Babe, you're shaking."

Was I? I hadn't noticed. I felt my heart thundering in my chest as my blood rushed through me.

"Sorry," I apologized automatically.

"Don't apologize," he murmured. I shifted and glanced around us again. "Jasper, close your eyes."

Doing as he asked, I forced my mind to drift, to ignore the sounds around me of the people as they loaded onto the plane. I sought comfort in Peter's touch, his large, warm hand covering mine, and the faint sound of his steady breaths.

"Just relax, just feel my hand. Don't be nervous." His voice was low and soothing and I felt myself relax even more.

Behind my closed lids, I saw Edward's hands as he ran it through his copper hair and winked at me. He was sitting on my lap, his knees straddling me while he spoke. My heart rate slowed, my breaths became deeper and collected.

A woman in a uniform came by, offering us drinks.

"Just two waters, please," Peter requested. When she returned with the waters, she gave us a few food options. When Peter saw the confusion on my face, he ordered for me. I waited until she was gone before asking.

"They fucking cook on this thing?"

"It's already prepared," he smiled.

Passengers continued to load while we sat and waited. With my hand securely in his, I felt brave enough to look around and actually began to enjoy myself. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. Resting my head against the seat, I turned to the side to watch Peter.

He was truly beautiful. Strong, clean shaven jaw, a straight nose, deep set eyes lined with thick lashes that fanned over slightly flushed cheeks. It was as if he was chiseled from marble, his features sharp and perfectly aligned. I let my eyes roam downward.

Fuck, I loved his neck. It always smelled like him, even if he wore aftershave, his scent was as concentrated there as between his legs, only less musky. The skin there was always tender and pliable, and with just the right amount of pressure from my lips, he would writhe in all the best ways. With the top buttons of his shirt undone, I had a better than usual view and I licked my lips after watching his pulse for a few beats. When he drank his water and his Adam's apple bobbed, I felt my cock twitch. Finally, my eyes worked their way down his body, enjoying his slim waist, the way that even limp, his cock was prominent against his pants. Swallowing thickly, I continued down his long legs until I reached his cowboy boots, dark brown leather peeking out from under the hem of his jeans.

"Cowboy boots?"

Confident, he looked at me and smiled. "Well, we are going to Texas," he smirked. "Actually, I've had them for years, I always wear them down there. Much more efficient to get around in than my loafers."

"Efficient and fucking hot," I added.

"I think you'd look pretty fucking incredible in some yourself. Perhaps we will have time to look for a pair for you. Maybe you can wear them for me….with nothing else on."

Moaning, I tore my gaze from him, not wanting to taunt myself further. There would be no release on an airplane. A man's voice began speaking, he introduced himself and the crew members. I glanced around, trying to find where the sexy, experienced voice was coming from.

"He's in the cockpit," Peter answered without me asking.

_Cock_pit.

"The what?"

I watched his profile as a smile grew on his face. "The cockpit, it's where the pilots sit to fly the plane."

I erupted into uncontrollable giggles, my shoulders shaking as I attempted in vain to gather myself. Peter watched me, his eyes sparkling as he smiled. Taking a deep breath, I regained control, the laughter simmering on the edge for long minutes after.

"Do they realize what they named it?"

He shrugged. "It came from cock fighting."

Another round of laughter.

"Not that kind of cock," he whispered. "Roosters. They put them into small pits and they fight. Eventually the term was used to describe a cramped area."

When I calmed down, I found him watching me intently. I had probably embarrassed him with my laughter, my nerves were getting the best of me. I was just about to apologize when he spoke.

"So fucking adorable," he murmured before leaning toward me, his lips pressing to mine in a gentle, lingering kiss. When he pulled away, the plane started to move. Surprised, I looked out the window and watched as we passed other planes and moved further from the airport.

"Holy shit," I whispered as the front end of the plane began to lift off the ground. My hand clutched Peter's, squeezing so hard my knuckles were turning white. Even though it must have hurt him, he let

me do it, even retuning my squeeze with one of his own. "Oh my God, oh my God," I repeated while I watched saw the ground below us fade further away.

"Relax, Jasper. I'm here," he assured me in his silky voice.

It was true; he was there for me, not only for this first flight but in other ways as well. Peter had come into my life in unusual circumstances, but with his generous heart and guiding ways, he had quickly earned my trust, and was the first person besides Riley that had. The plane continued to ascend and I began to relax, slowly lightening up on grip on Peter's hand.

"There you go," he smiled. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you," I sighed heavily. The food came shortly later. While we ate Peter told me a few facts about the plane and how he'd been looking at chartering his own private jet, but he wasn't sure he flew enough to justify the cost. After we were done eating, Peter reclined his seat a bit and showed me how to do the same. Lying back, I watched him.

He was so much more beautiful than the clouds below us.

His eyes were closed and smile formed on his lips before he leaned toward me a bit. "Want to join the mile high club?"

"The what?"

"The mile high club is when you have sex on an airplane, a mile above earth."

My eyes widen and my cock awoke at the suggestion.

"Oh, sure," I agreed readily, glancing around us. There wasn't much room, but if I straddled him, we could fuck pretty easily, especially with the seats reclined. Reaching down, I began to undo the button on my pants, but Peter's hand stopped me.

"In the restroom," he clarified.

_Oh_.

Well that wasn't nearly as much fun.

"Do you want to?" I asked him, certainly eager to find the nearest restroom and have him bend me over the counter. He raised his brow. It was my turn to clarify.

"Fuck," I whispered, leaning toward him.

"I always want to fuck you, babe, but not on the plane. The restrooms are barely big enough for one."

"Are you a member already?" I asked, curious.

"No. Never found the right guy," he replied, and I saw a faint pink cover his cheeks.

"Can you only join the club if you fuck or do other things count?"

His groan was deep. "It all counts."

When I heard the need coating his words, I took his jacket from the back of his seat and laid it on his lap. I didn't mind showing my cock to the world, but I didn't want everyone to see his. Shifting, I put the armrest up between us and moved closer to him. His body heat seared through the thin fabric of our shirts as I pressed my side to his. Even before I had touched him, his eyes had filled with desire, the greens in the depths of the aqua intensifying while the blues paled. Ignoring his raised brow, I snuck my hand under his jacket and placed it on top of his cock. After only a few grazes of my fingers, his cock was straining against the zipper of his pants.

"Jasper," he warned, but made no move to stop me. I listened to his body, the slight buck of his hips when I pressed on his cock, the way his tongue darted out to lick his lips when I moaned quietly, and the change in his breaths that matched mine, shallow and quick. His arousal was growing quickly, already building powerfully inside him. One of his hands clenched the armrest while the other lay on my thigh, his fingers digging into my leg as I roughly palmed his cock.

"Fuck," he muttered. He was nervous, I saw it when his eyes kept watch on those around us, but he didn't object when I popped the button of his pants. Coughing, I covered the sound of the lowering zipper, and then I groaned when I put my hand inside and found no further barrier between the satin skin of his engorged cock and my hand.

He had gone commando.

He had planned this.

My own cock responded, hardening until it was pressing urgently against my own zipper.

"Hoped, not planned," he smirked with a guilty smile, reading my mind. Lightly, my fingers grazed over his cock, each touch teasing him with the promise of more. Heat radiated from between his legs, and if inhaled deeply enough I could smell his manly scent. His head lolled to the side and he stared at me, baring not only his want, but something else as well, something familiar that I had seen in another set of eyes. Bringing my free hand up, I caressed his cheek with the backs of my fingers.

"What are you doing to me, babe?" he asked lowly. His voice not betraying the tension I know he felt.

"Helping you join the club," I whispered.

"That's not what I'm talking about," he answered, shaking his head and closing his eyes. "Jasper, I …never before…" he trailed off when my fingers tugged on the soft skin of his sac. "Fuck," he muttered, distracted from his previous thoughts. When he opened his eyes, the want in them was still strong, but it was weakened by the other emotion, the unidentifiable one. "The things you do to me."

I cupped his face with my hand and brought my lips to meet his, sweeping across them only once before pulling back. I didn't want to give anyone more reason to look our way and discover Peter's initiation going on under the jacket. Putting my lips at his ear, I let a long breath wash over him.

"I need some lube, can you give me some?"

Squeezing the head of his cock, I felt a drop of fluid form at the slit, and I swiped it with my thumb, rubbing it along the length of him.

"Holy fuck," he sighed when I finally wrapped my fingers around him and pumped him once, hard and fast. Reflexively, his hips bucked up into my grasp and he resisted the urge to call out. My thigh felt cool when he removed his hand, but then I felt it join mine under his coat, his fingers weaving with mine as he took his cock into his hand as well.

"Feel good?"

Nodding, he kept his eyes on mine, letting them speak for him. They revealed the battle inside him, his control shattering as he resisted thrusting up into our hands to fuck them. The green in them sparkled with each movement of our joined hands. Together, we set a languid pace. I knew what he preferred as much as he did, the exact way he liked to flick his wrist or cover his head every few strokes. His cock was greedy, swelling further in my hand, thickening as it hardened even more. The strength he had to not be impatiently thrusting his hips amazed me; it was more than I would ever have. If the roles had been reversed, everyone on that fucking plane would have known the pleasure I was receiving. Not only would I shamelessly be fucking his hand and begging for his mouth, but I'd be screaming his name.

Every muscle in his body was tense, he was practically shaking from his effort, and his release would be explosive because of it. I watched him, his reactions, slowing our hands when I felt he was getting too close to coming. When I saw his lips part and his eyes glaze over, I hesitated my rhythm, throwing him back from the edge, only to drag him right back there with a gentle tug of his sac. Around us, people chatted, read and even walked by, smiling at the adorable gay couple on their way to the restroom.

Little did they all know of what was going on beneath that tweed jacket.

"I wish we could fuck right here," I told him under my breath. "I'd take off my pants, then straddle your lap and have your cock fill my ass. Fuck, it'd feel so damn good."

"Jesus, Jasper," he hissed. His breaths grew more labored as he frantically neared his climax. His fingers over mine gave way, releasing his cock to my complete control. I curved a hand around his neck, threading my fingers into his short hair.

"Look at me," I commanded when his eyes fluttered closed. "Look at me when you come."

Following my orders, his eyelids opened and his gazed fixed on mine. Under the jacket, my hand never ceased, my strokes on his cock steady and sure. Above the jacket, he was the picture of calm as he tried to maintain control. The woman walked by again, stopping to ask if we wanted another water.

"We're good, thanks," Peter replied breathlessly. Either she didn't notice the movement of my hand under the jacket or she didn't care. Either way, I kept going, my fingers embracing his cock even tighter.

"I want to feel you come hard, Peter. Shoot your load into my hand. Let me feel your release."

His lips parted, forming a small 'o' and I knew he was close, I knew the warmth was beginning to spread through him, tickle his spine before it burst and flowed to touch every nerve ending.

"I wish I could suck you off, stick my tongue in your ass," I murmured. That did it, I felt his cock pulse in my hand and I quickly reached over with my other, covering the head just as it erupted with his hot seed into my palm.

"Babe," he moaned quietly. His eyes never left mine, I witnessed the rapture in them as his orgasm crested, his body trembling as he rode it out. Keeping my hands on his cock, I stroked him through it, enticing every last drop before finally loosening my hold. When the last shudder finally left him, his body relaxed into the seat, his eyes hazy as he reached under his jacket. Gently, I removed my hands so he could put his cock into his pants and do them up.

"I need to go clean up," he sighed happily. Nodding, I slid my hand out from under the coat and brought it up to my mouth. Wide, euphoric eyes watched me as I licked his cum off my palm. "Jesus fucking Christ," he groaned.

"I could join you in the restroom?" I suggested, glancing down at my erection.

"No," he replied definitively. "I want you like that for the rest of the flight."

The thought made me even harder.

"Fuck," I muttered as he walked down the aisle to the bathrooms. When he returned, he sat down next to me, his lips at my ear.

"Thank you for that, I needed it," he whispered before picking up my hand that I had lapped clean of his cum and placing a kiss on the palm. "You taste even better than usual."

Sitting back, he stretched his long legs out before him, his body much more relaxed than he had been before the secret handjob. Snuggling into his side, I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes as his hand found mine.

_The woman was dressed in a sharp black suit; her face was harsh and angry as she forced my hand into hers. She led me to a van, opening the back door and putting me inside. The door closed and I watched my mother through the window. She stood in the doorway to our house dressed in her tee shirt and sweatpants. Her hair was unwashed, her eyes sunken and her lips thin and dry. Frantically I waved at her, tears streaming down my cheeks. I willed her to wave back, to acknowledge I was being forced to leave. _

_They were taking me away from the only home I'd ever known. _

"_Mom!" I yelled, my fist banging on the window. _

"_Calm down, Jason," the woman said as she started the van. _

"_It's Jasper," I snapped at her. They had allowed me to pack one small duffle bag of stuff before I had been yanked from my mother's hold. Clinging to her, I had dug my fingers into her flesh, begging her to not let them take me. _

_But she let me go anyway. _

_The van began to pull away from my house, my eyes never left my mother even as she got smaller and smaller. My sight grew blurry, my heart broke and I cried through it all. _

_The woman tried to explain how it was for my own good, how I'd be better off and safer without drug addicts as parents. What she failed to tell me was that after I had been humiliated and examined by a doctor for abuse, that I would be put into a temporary home that would become a living nightmare that would haunt me forever. _

"Mom," I called out as we turned the last corner.

I never saw her again.

"Babe, wake up," the voice was comforting, strong and supportive. I felt a warmth and buried deeper into it, letting it envelope me in its security. Startled by the gentle touch on my face, I jumped. My eyes flew open and I looked around to find rows of seats.

"You're okay," he assured me as he put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Another nightmare?"

I nodded into the bend of his neck. He just held me tighter. I stayed wrapped in his arms for the remainder of the flight, even dozing off a few more times to a dreamless sleep before he was waking me and telling me we were about to land in Dallas.

After rushing through the airport, we caught our connecting flight and after a much shorter flight, the pilot came on and welcomed us to Lubbock, Texas. We got off the plane and Peter held my hand as he led me through the maze of people until we arrived at a giant treadmill.

He leaned into me. "This is baggage claim. It's where the luggage from our flight will come out."

Holding my breath, I waited impatiently for my suitcase to come through, finally breathing a sigh of relief when I spotted it on the moving belt. Peter let go of me and grabbed both our bags.

"Ready?"

I nodded and followed him outside and into the Texas sun and heat for the first time over two years.

I was instantly surrounded by ghosts of my past. Clawing at my feet, they threatened to pull me under, drag me back to the hell I'd barely escaped. They were already attempting to steal my breath from my lungs, even before I had taken my first real breath of the dry Texas air. They came in all shapes and forms, from a woman in a suit promising me safety to a teen boy whose body pinned mine to a stinky cot to a mother who just stood and watched her son be ripped from his life. I felt as if nothing was keeping me together at my seams, that with one good tug, I'd fall apart and never be put back together again.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.

"There's no place like home, there's no place like him," I repeated to myself. I felt Edward's hand on my wrist as he did up the watch, his thumb stroking my pulse afterward. The pull strengthened, and I felt him near me.

"_You can do this_," he whispered in my ear.

"Jasper," Peter's voice reached past the ghosts, and even Edward's touch. "Babe, you okay?"

Squinting in the sun, I gave him a weak smile. It was the best I could do considering the hell I was willingly walking in to.

"Yes," I finally replied. His concerned eyes didn't leave mine until a limo pulled up to the curb in front of us. The driver got out and greeted Peter before taking our bags and putting them in the trunk. We climbed into the back and as soon as Peter sat down, my body curled up into side, wrapping an arm around his middle. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his steady heart, his beats soothing my own. As we left the airport, I grew curious of our surroundings and looked out the window. We drove by some larger buildings that quickly moved into smaller ones spreading further apart. Peter was quiet, his arm around me while he stared out the window. I wondered what he was thinking about, if he had ghosts in his past that he was hoping to outrun as well.

"Home sweet home," he murmured, holding me tighter.

_Hardly. _

"I'd forgotten how brown and flat it was here," I commented as we left the main part of the town and headed toward the outskirts.

"Me too, you just get used to the green hills of Washington," he agreed.

"How long since you've been home?"

"Hmm, about three months I think? I try get home as often as I can to visit my mama."

We hadn't been in Texas for more than a few hours and already his accent had changed, the drawl creeping back in. I asked a few more questions but it wasn't long before we were passing a huge field on both sides of us and I felt Peter straighten up.

"We're here," he said but it was a good fifteen minutes before we pulled up in front of a white two story ranch house. It was probably modest by Texas standards, but huge compared to anything I'd seen. A porch wrapped around at least three sides of the house, complete with a white railing and a swing in one corner. The driver opened out door and we both got out, stretching while we waited for the driver to get our bags.

"Peter!" a woman's voice called from the porch. I looked over my shoulder and saw her coming down the steps followed closely by two happy looking dogs. Peter grinned and put his bags down, opening his arms to accept her motherly hug. With long black hair sprinkled with gray tied back, she was dressed in jeans, cowboy boots and a plaid button down shirt.

"Mama," he sighed, content. He was really home.

"How are you, baby boy?" she asked as she pulled away to look him over in the way that only mothers can.

"I'm good, it's nice to be home," he smiled before nodding to me. "I've got someone I'd like you to meet, Mama. This is Jasper."

"Aren't you a handsome boy. Nice to meet you," she greeted. She turned to me with a welcoming smile and immediately pulled me into the same kind of hug she had given Peter. I looked at him over her shoulders and saw him shrug.

"Nice to meet you too, ma'am," I replied, returning her hug. Apparently the drawl had crept into me as well.

"Jasper. That's a strong southern name, are you from Texas?"

"Yes, ma'am, Houston, but I live in Seattle now."

"Oh shush with the ma'am stuff, call me Caroline."

Behind her, Peter watched us, grinning proudly as he ruffled the dog's coats while they jumped excitedly around him.

"They are happy to see you," Caroline said to Peter, motioning to the dogs.

"They are happy to see anyone," Peter corrected. He picked up a stick and whipped it across the front yard. Like bullets, both dogs took off after it.

"Well, boys, let's go get you two settled, shall we?"

She might have been shorter than Peter's six-foot-plus frame, but it didn't matter, she was definitely the one in charge. I grabbed our bags while Peter held his arm out for his mother. After checking with the driver, he led us both to the house. Glancing around on the way, I saw a few trucks parked in front of a huge red barn. Next to it were a few large green tractors, and behind it was a small silo.

Peter led us up the porch steps and then held the door open for his mother and me.

"Wow," I gasped when I went inside it. The house was almost one large room and the entire back wall was glass that overlooked a grassy field. The ceiling was high with dark wood beams crisscrossing it. Leather couches and chairs were gathered in one area in front of a huge brick fireplace, complete with fur rug in front of it. Tables and lamps were scattered throughout. Along one wall was a built in bookcase full off books and trophies and knickknacks. The living room led right into a kitchen, modern in appliances but like the rest of the house, it had a distinct southern design.

I had never been in a more beautiful house.

"This is amazing," I said in awe.

"It's a nice home," Caroline agreed. "Peter, why don't you show Jasper around while I finish up with dinner?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said kissing her cheek before taking my bag from me. "This way, sir," he grinned. He led us up some stairs, and at the top we could overlook the entire lower level. Turning to his left, he entered a large bedroom.

"Holy shit," I muttered when I walked inside. The biggest four post bed covered in pillows and comforters I'd ever seen was on one wall. A fireplace was on the opposite wall with two large chairs in front of it. To our right was a dresser, and in front of us was a sliding glass door with balcony.

"The bathroom is in there," Peter said, motioning to our left. "Everything you need should be in there, but if you need anything else, don't hesitate to ask, okay?"

Nodding, I put my bag down and wandered around the room. On the dresser were pictures, and after looking closer, I saw a young Peter in several of them. I picked one up. He looked happy and free.

"Right after college graduation, I'd just made plans to move to Seattle," he said without me asking.

"Who's this? He's hot," I asked pointing to the sexy guy with him.

Sighing, he suddenly looked weary. "My ex."

"Oh," I replied, placing the picture back down. "Sorry."

"It's okay, long time ago."

The next picture was Peter on a horse with a bright ribbon on the horse's head.

"That's me and Dusty. I was a junior in high school. I was the grand champion in the rodeo that year. Took first place in all events but one."

"Impressive," I smiled. "Beautiful horse."

"Do you ride?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, I grinned. "Seriously?"

"Horses, Jasper, do you ride horses?" He rolled his eyes but smiled.

"No, I've never ridden…a horse. Fuck, I didn't even have a pet, much less a horse."

"Not even a fish or gerbil?"

"Do the mice that lived with us count?"

He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it. "Someday soon."

He didn't need to clarify; I knew exactly what he meant. Nodding, I kept his hand in mind and continued around his room. He shadowed my footsteps as I walked around, touching everything I could. Peter was everywhere in the room, his scent clung faintly in the air, his pictures were scattered throughout, and his clothes were in the dresser. I was pretty sure if I opened the drawer in the table next to his bed, I'd find lube and condoms.

Finally we came to the balcony and I looked at him for permission. When he gave it, I opened the doors and walked outside. The heat hit me instantly and I took a few shallow breaths to adjust myself. Bracing my hands in the railing, I looked out over the huge field.

It was so vast, never ending waves of tall grass blowing in the breeze.

Texas was bigger than fuck but there was still no outrunning the demons that lived inside me. My stomach churned, twisting uncomfortably as I looked out over the horizon. It hurt to be back, even more than I thought it would, but at the same time I felt that a sense of closure looming near. I just had to be brave enough to grab it. Peter came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me he put his chin on my shoulder. My body gave into his, letting him support me, I leaned against his rock hard body and covered his hands on my stomach with my own. Closing my eyes, I focused on Peter, his breaths and his warm embrace. My stomach calmed, I let his presence ease the ache I felt. There was no way I had the strength to fight my past, it had been difficult enough to survive it once, I didn't want to relive it again, but Peter had a strength I didn't.

But I knew in order for him help me, I had to let him in first.

When my mind began to rush too much, I arched my back a bit, letting my ass rub against his cock.

"Jasper," he sighed.

"Mmmm?" I turned my head, my lips seeking the heat of his neck.

"Babe, don't," he said, tilting his head away from my mouth. Pulling his hands from me, I stepped out of his embrace and turned to face him. Confused, I watched him as he ran his hands over his face and then through his hair before speaking.

"I didn't bring you here to fuck, Jasper. This weekend isn't about sex."

"Then what's it about?" I leaned against the railing and folded my arms across my chest defensively. Sex was all I knew….

He stared me for a moment before answering. The emotion I'd seen in his eyes on the plane returned, even more intense than before. Taking a deep breath, he reached out and took my hands in his.

"Us," he said quietly. "I wanted this weekend to be about us."

"Us?"

"Yeah, us. I wanted us out of that hotel room, someplace different. I just thought it'd be nice for you to get to know the guy whose dick has been in your ass every week for the past few months, and… I'd like to get to know you too."

"But on the plane…"

"That was my fault. It's been weeks since I've been with you and, well, I fucking missed your touch. You were there and felt so good and I was feeling pretty fucking selfish."

"It wasn't selfish, I wanted it too," I reminded. Oh, how I had fucking wanted it.

"I know, babe," he sighed again and released my hands, only to pull me into his arms. Wrapping them around me, he held me tightly to him. I returned his embrace, slinging my arms around his neck and ignoring what he'd said just a minute before, pulled his mouth to mine.

"This okay?" I asked right before our lips met.

The kiss was leisurely and heated, deepening when I angled my head and encouraged his lips to part with the tip of my tongue. Moaning, he pressed me against the railing, his body keeping mine there as he let his hands begin to roam down my back, skimming over the muscles before resting on my ass. The rest of Texas faded away as his tongue continued to eagerly explore my mouth. He tasted of honey and home, and I drank him in. We kissed, our lips parting and meeting several times before he finally pulled away, his erection throbbing against my own. Resting his forehead to mine, he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Ready for dinner?"

I nodded and let him led me from the room and back downstairs. His mother was in the kitchen, pulling something out of the stove and setting it on the counter.

"Just in time, boys. Peter grab plates, Jasper, you can get beers from the fridge."

Glancing at Peter, I grabbed three beers from the fridge and followed Peter to the table. Caroline carried over a platter of fried chicken and potato salad, setting it down before going back to the kitchen for biscuits. Peter sat the end with me to his left and his mother to his right. Just as Peter went to serve us, I heard footsteps in the kitchen.

"Am I late?"

A tall man with long black hair entered. He carried a cowboy hat in his hands and his jeans were covered with dust. "Aw, shit, I am late, sorry ma'am," he apologized to Caroline before striding to Peter.

"How are you, son?" he said pulling Peter into a hug.

His father was nothing like I expected. Younger than I'd imagined, he was shorter than Peter, his presence much less commanding. While their hair was the same color, Peter wore none of his other characteristics. He definitely took after his mother.

"Jasper, this is Sam, he's our foreman," Peter introduced. "Sam, this is my…this is Jasper."

_Foreman, not father. _

"Jasper, great to finally meet you, heard lots about you," Sam said, shaking my hand.

"Nice to meet you too, sir," I replied. Sam laughed.

"Call me Sam." He kissed Caroline's cheek and sat down, putting his hat on the table next to him. "Fried chicken, my favorite."

I followed Peter, taking food off the platter and onto my plate. Biting into the chicken, I couldn't help but moan out loud. Peter raised his eyebrows at me.

"Best fuc-best friend chicken I've ever had," I blushed.

"Don't censor yourself here, Jasper," Caroline told me. "In our home, you can be yourself."

"Thanks, ma'am."

"So," Sam began, "want to hear a story about Peter?"

Grinning, I nodded. Peter hung his head a bit, but I saw a smile grace his lips.

"One day when he was about fourteen I was working out behind the barn on a tractor and I hear his voice inside the barn. So I go in to check it out, figuring if he was around, he might as well make himself useful. I find him a stall with…what was that horse's name?"

"Dusty," Peter reminded him.

"Yeah, Dusty. I find him in Dusty's stall, and poor Dusty has her all legs all bandaged up, from hoof to body. Turns out our Peter had a bit of a crush on the veterinarian, and he'd decided he wanted to be a vet and was practicing on poor Dusty."

"Didn't hurt to know how to wrap her legs," Peter said, shrugging.

"Was the vet cute?" I asked Peter with a smile.

"Totally hot," he replied, fanning himself. "He had the nicest-"

"Okay," his mother interrupted. "I don't think we need to hear _that_ at the table."

"Truck, mama, I was going to say truck," Peter laughed.

"Sure you were, now finish up so you can go show Jasper the barn."

We finished eating, Caroline offering a story of young Peter before we cleared the dishes. Watching Peter with his mother made my heart ache for what I had lost. My memories of my own parents had faded with time until only factures of them remained. Other memories I wanted to block out completely. Peter's relationship with his mother was one I'd never known could exist. She obviously knew he was gay and completely accepted it, even welcoming a strange man into her home with open arms.

Peter took my hand and walked me outside. The sun had set, but the heat still hung in the air even as after night had fallen.

"This way," he said, leading me toward the barn. Inside, he turned the lights on. The barn was as huge on the inside as it looked on the outside. Two rows of stalls lined the aisle and I could smell horses and hay. "I want to show you something." Tugging on my hand, he walked down the row of stalls to the end.

"Look in there," he said pointing to the last stall. Curious, I walked to it and looked through the iron bars. Inside was a foal standing on wobbly legs as he tried to nurse from his mother.

"It's a horse," I observed.

"Two, actually," he chuckled next to me. "Isn't he a beauty? Less than a week old. I was hoping to make it down before he arrived but I was late. Vet had to come out and deliver him."

"The totally hot one?" I retorted quicker than I had intended.

"Do I hear a bit of jealousy in that tone?" he teased. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head, but deep down I knew he was right.

"I was going to name him Jasper," he blushed.

My eyes shot to his. "You were?"

"Yes. It's a beautiful southern name, strong and sure. Just like he will be."

"You don't have to do that."

"Would you like to name him instead?"

"How about we name him together?" I suggested, my eyes going back to the baby horse.

"Sure. Have any suggestions?"

_Cullen_.

"Umm," I stuttered as possible names rushed through my head. "All I can think of are these random ones. They don't make sense."

"Your thoughts always make sense, Jasper."

I shook my head. "No, sometimes my thoughts are too random," I denied.

"I enjoy your random thoughts, as well as everything else," he murmured. My eyes widened at the words and I repeated them to myself as I watched the colt. His dark brown coat was fluffy, his eyes huge as they looked around his mama.

"Random thoughts," I said, looking at Peter. "How about Random Thoughts."

"Random Thoughts," he uttered, looking at the horse. "It's perfect. We can call him Random for short."

Grinning, I fell into him, letting his weight catch me as I pressed my lips to his. It was a corny thing, but I felt proud, having had a part in the direction of a new life.

"Come on," he said, pulling on my hand. For the next hour he showed me around the barn, even the tack room and hay loft. Then he showed me the cattle barn where they kept the sick cattle or those needed extra care. When I yawned, he kissed my cheek and suggested we head back to the house. It was quiet when we walked inside. I followed him to the room we'd been in earlier and he closed the door behind us.

"Get comfortable."

Completely aware of his eyes on me, I toed out of my shoes and took off my jeans and briefs. I stood in front him in nothing but a dress shirt and Edward's watch, my cock hanging heavy between my legs. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he watched me with a hungry gaze.

"More?" I asked before continuing.

"Yes."

Slowly I unbuttoned the shirt and let it slide to the floor. The lust that I had so often seen in his eyes had returned with a vengeance. Lifting his foot, he crooked a finger at me.

"Come help me with my boots, boy."

Obeying, I walked over and turned away from him. I straddled his leg, feeling his other booted foot on the flesh of my ass. Gripping the heel and toe of his boot, I pulled while he pushed against me. His boot slid off and I let it fall to the ground with a solid thud before moving to his other. This time it was his barefoot against my ass as I tugged off his other boot. When it was off, I went to move away, but felt his hands grab my hips, stopping me.

"I swear you have the finest ass I've ever seen…and fucked," he moaned as he pulled me back a step until his face was inches from my ass. Looking over my shoulder, I watched as he leaned forward, his tongue running along the curve of my cheeks before he let it dip into the middle. My head fell back onto my shoulders, my body quivering under the delicate, moist touches.

"Fuck," I groaned loudly as his tongue continued to explore my ass, never going to where I wanted it most, but teasing me with the thought. "Peter," I moaned desperately. Grasping my hips, his short nails digging into my hipbones, he pulled me even closer until I felt the flat of his velvet tongue along the crack of my ass. He danced one hand up my spine and back down again. When it disappeared, I knew what was coming next and braced myself for the sting. It was lighter than usual, but I still felt it when his open palm spanked my ass before groping the mark and gliding back up my spine.

"Over, boy," he demanded, putting pressure on my back. Bending over, I felt his hands spread my ass, making room for his tongue to explore even more. Wetness briefly grazed over my hole before the tantalizing continued over the rest of my ass.

"Peter...please," I begged in a low voice. The frustration I had felt on the plane returned, my cock already aching and weeping fluid. Holding me tightly, he dipped his tongue deeper, letting it trace around my hole before plunging it in. The sensation was incredible. It was enough to get worked up over but not satisfy me.

"Fuck, yeah, more," I said through quick breaths. His tongue darted in and out a few times before it was gone.

"Turn around, babe."

When I stood up and turned around, he placed me between his spread legs. Looking down at his crotch, I saw the outline of his erection against his jeans. I reached for his shirt, my fingers undoing the first button.

"Take them off," I said, unable to even specify what I wanted. Ignoring me, he leaned forward, and before I could object, he was devouring my cock.

"FUCK," I cried out, my hips instinctively thrusting into him. Immediately he released me and ran his tongue along the underside of my cock, tracing every vein before circling the throbbing head a few times. Lifting my cock roughly, he tilted his head and took one of my balls into his mouth, his hand stroking my cock while his mouth fondled my sac.

"Jesus, so fucking good, fucking good," I moaned. I forced my eyes to remain open even thought they kept trying to close to concentrate on nothing but the sensations. I wanted to watch the muscles in his jaw as his lips and tongue worked me. Nipping at the loose skin, he sucked hard, having to steady my swaying body with his hands. The sounds of his slurping, licking and biting only heightened my excitement, my need to feel more. Slowly he worked his way back up my dick. I reached up and removed his hand from my cock. Taking it into my own, I guided it along his lips, outlining them, leaving a slick trail of precum behind.

"I want to fuck your face," I admitted in a rusty voice. "Open," I insisted, tapping my cock on his bottom lip. Looking up at me from under his lashes, he did as I asked, and I shoved my cock into his hot, wet mouth.

When my cock struck the back of his throat, my entire body shuddered uncontrollably. Relaxing his jaw but tightening his lips around me, he let me slide in and out of him at will, his spit slickening my cock with each buck of my hips. His hands rested loosely on my thighs as my cock slipped through his lips, seeking the tightness of his throat before withdrawing only to do it again. Through long, thick lashes, his aqua eyes never left mine as they watched me while I fucked his face. Normally Peter was in control, and that he gave it up to me, that he let me control the pace and use his mouth, ignited a desire in me.

"Your mouth is so beautiful with my cock in it," I told him, watching my cock disappear between his lush lips.

I made no effort to control myself. I was loud and open with my sounds, expressing in throaty moans what I couldn't say with words. Threading both hands through his short hair, I grasped what I could, holding his head still while my hips thrust and I savagely took his mouth. My chest heaved with the effort, my breaths were short and hurried as my hands tightened further in his hair. He moaned around my cock, sending vibrations through me. Building in me, my orgasm started deep in my balls as they drew up and spread low in my groin and up my spine.

"Gonna come," I warned him.

Keeping my eyes on him, I thrust hard and fast, deep into his mouth and throat until I felt my cock pulse. The climax ripped through me, guttural cries escaped as my entire body tensed and my cock exploded in his mouth, long streams of cum shooting down his throat. His friction on me intensified when he swallowed, pulling my orgasm from me and into him. When I could no longer continue to move, he took over, sliding his mouth easily along my cum-slicked cock. A drop of creamy white rested on the corner of his lip and I swiped at it with my thumb as I slid my used cock out of his mouth. Opening his mouth wide, he stuck out his tongue, encouraging me to run my thumb along it. When the pad rested on his tongue, he closed his lips around it and sucked it once.

"Holy fuck," I muttered in awe watching him. Dropping to my knees, I cupped his face and brought his lips to mine, our mouths opening and tongues seeking before our lips even touched. Wrapping his strong arms around me, we made out for a long time, the taste of my orgasm strong in his mouth as he shared it with me. Finally he pulled away and stood up, taking me with him.

"Undress me, boy."

Smirking, I quickly undid his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders before once again going to my knees to undo his pants. Unzipping them, I slid them down his legs until he was able to step out of them. Level with my mouth was his delicious, hard cock. I swear I drooled when I thought about tasting it, but instead I looked up at him and licked my lips. He ran a hand through my hair and then tugged on it for me to stand. He went to his dresser and pressed a few buttons on the stereo there before taking my hand and leading me out onto the balcony. The night air was still warm, but not sweltering, and the moon cast a bright glow over the field below us. I didn't miss Texas at all, but there was no denying the beauty of night.

"Dance with me?" he asked. Not waiting for my answering he gathered me into his arms. Resting my head on his shoulder, I wound my arms around his neck and pressed my naked body to him. His hands remained low on my back as we slowly turned and swayed to the country music drifting from the bedroom.

"This is nice," I sighed, content in his arms with the night wind whispering over my heated skin. While a man sang about looking for love in all the wrong places, Peter pulled me even closer.

"Can I ask you something?" I pulled back and looked up at him.

"Of course."

"Where's your dad?"

He sighed heavily, his eyes growing sad. "He passed away my last year of high school."

It wasn't what I had expected and my heart ached for him.

I knew loss.

It was the one thing I knew well.

Kissing my hair, he pulled me back to him and began to talk quietly. "One morning he was out on the back forty with Sam driving in some cattle for tagging. They were on their way back in when he had some pain in his chest. By the time he told Sam, it was too late and he fell off his horse. Sam tried to give him CPR, called for help, but my dad was already."

"I'm sorry, Peter."

"I miss him every day. It was hard at first. My mother was devastated and Sam felt guilty for not being able to save him. I had to take over a lot of his duties and go to school and keep up my grades. I was getting up at three for chores and work, then I went to school, more work after it, and then homework. I didn't go to bed until after midnight most nights. I think that's why I can function on so little sleep now. When I applied to Princeton, I never expected to get it, but I did. I almost didn't go though, it just didn't seem right to leave the farm when everything was still so up in the air. We were barely making ends meet."

"What changed your mind?"

"My mama. She told me that my father would have wanted me to go, that he would have been so proud of me. He knew I was never going to stay on the farm. It might have been in my blood, but it just wasn't for me, ya know? I had this need to explore the world, or at least outside of Texas. Sam promised he'd stay on and watch over my mother, and I came home every chance I had. When I graduated with my Master's, my mama cried and said she felt my father next to her in the audience, felt his pride in me."

I cupped his face with my hands. "I bet he is still proud of you and what you've become."

"I hope so," he whispered, his voice choking up.

"Did he know you were gay?"

"I never came out to him, but I think he suspected. Sam knew, but he kept my secret. He told me it wasn't his to share. I had planned to tell my parents before I left for college but after my dad died, it just didn't seem like the right time. I didn't tell my mother until I'd been away for a few years. She wasn't surprised. Never once while I was away did I ever mention dating a girl, so she had suspected before I told her. She told me it didn't matter who I loved as long as I did love."

The more he told me, the more curious about him I became, overwhelmed with an insatiable thirst to know more. I realized he was right, I did want to know more about the man who was fucking me. I ran a finger down his cheek and across his lips, stopping only when they puckered to kiss my finger. Looking into his eyes, I sought answers to questions I hadn't asked, about him…about me.

"Have you ever been in love?"

_What's it like, what does it feel like?_

It was a long time before he answered; he was so quiet and holding me so tightly I thought he might have forgotten I asked it. Leaning to me, he lightly kissed me and then put his forehead to mine. His sweet breath fell across my face as he exhaled.

"I think I am right now," he finally whispered, his thumb stroking my cheek.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

So…I know we're horrible for ending it there, but it really made the most sense. Part two will pick up exactly where this one left off. We're not even through their first night together.

Need to rant about what happened? Come join us at the thread on Twilighted

http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674


	22. No Ruby Red Slippers for Me pt 2

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Okay, here we go! This is part two of No Ruby Red Slippers for Me, and it picks up right where part one ended. FYI the entire chapter is 37k. Yes...I have no life. Just editing part two took me 9 hrs before I even sent it to beta. Epically long A/N at the end.

Talk about nervous! We've got Jasper's reaction, revelations, smut and suspense…I'm shaking in my lime green cowboy boots (you'll see). I hope this chapter lives up to expectations!

Warning: This chapter contain graphic violent sex

Jasper pov written by Touchstone67, Edward pov expertly handled by Domward's Mistress.

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this, who went above and beyond the call of duty for 19+ chapter.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"I think I am right now," he finally whispered, his thumb stroking my cheek.

Not even sure I'd heard him correctly, I went completely still, my breath catching in my throat and my heart halting. It couldn't be true, he must be mistaken. I wasn't right for him. I was only someone that made his nights a little less lonely. He deserved much better than me.

How could someone fall in love with me?

A whore.

Up until a few months ago, I'd been homeless and was getting fucked by sleazy people combing the streets for a cheap ass, and now I had a gorgeous, powerful man telling me he thought he loved me. Love, an emotion I didn't even recognize myself, but now was receiving from another.

Talk about not being in fucking Kansas anymore.

My eyes closed and my heart began to pound.

_Love._

I knew nothing about love. I knew one thing, I spoke one language, and that was fucking. My mind raced and swirled, questions and fears bombarding me from every direction. Feeling lightheaded, I clung to him.

"Look at me, babe."

At the sound of his velvet voice, I opened my eyes and found him returning my gaze with honest eyes, full of the emotion I could now identify as love. Their look, the stormy confusion with moments of pure clarity, was the same I had seen in Edward's before I'd left. If the emotion behind Peter's was love, then did that mean…

"Breathe, Jasper," he murmured. "It's okay, babe, this doesn't have to change anything between us, and I don't expect you to say it back, although I admit, one day I hope you will. I just wanted tell you because you deserve to know. I will always tell you the truth, Jasper, and honestly, if it were up to me, you'd be mine and only mine, but I'm not asking you to change your life, Jasper. I never would, I respect you too much for that, but I want you to know, if you ever want…this, what we could have together, you won't have to go far to find it. I could offer you so much, Jasper."

I pressed my lips to his, not to stop his words but to just let him know that I felt it. I felt his desire and lust wrapped in the love, I felt everything he wanted me to.

He pulled back, taking my face into his hands.

"I know you could," I finally admitted.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm just…"

"Surprised?"

_Among other things._

I looked down at his chest and nodded. My fingers slid through the stands of his hair nervously. I had so many questions.

"How long have you known? " I whispered, keeping my eyes on the strong pulse in his neck. When I placed hand over his heart, I felt it thundering beneath his flesh.

My own matched his, beating furiously against my ribs. A warm hum coursed through me, soothing my uneasiness, offering contentment in its place, and I wondered, was that love? There was no…pull that ached when he wasn't near but when he was, my body easily fell into his, craving every touch and yearning for more as soon as we were done. My desire for him was insatiable, equal to only one other. The ease I felt with Peter, the comfort and safety was undeniable, and I realized that I definitely felt something for him that went beyond my body's physical desire to be with him. The longer I was in his arms, the more my heart slowed, accepting his words for what they were, pure, honest emotion. Still, I wondered how he knew it was love, and why me? There had to be better boys than me for him.

"I have felt things growing for awhile, but I think I realized it at the party. When I saw you with…that man, I knew the jealousy I felt wasn't because you were on my time. I didn't like feeling jealous, I hated it actually, but it's what made me realize that you were so much more to me."

"I don't….I don't know what-"

"Then don't, Jasper. You don't need to respond now, this is enough for me right now. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing has to change, okay?"

Sighing, I put my head in the crook of his neck, placing a moist kiss there. His hold around me tightened as he guided us in our simple dance. While the moon rose higher in the sky, we danced even closer, suddenly our bodies uniting in so much more than a dance.

"If I could…"

If I knew how to love, I would.

He stole my words with a kiss, his tongue lavishing mine in long, leisurely meetings. With one arm around my waist, his other brushed the hair off my face as he continued to kiss me, leaving nothing behind. I had never felt so surrounded, so enveloped by someone before. Pulling his mouth away, his breaths deep, he sighed and kissed my nose. Aqua eyes stared deep into mine, searching and seeking. Caught in his trance, I felt lost in what I had known to be true. He smiled when he found what he was looking for.

"I see it in you, Jasper," he whispered. "Let's go to bed," he said, taking my hand.

When I felt his warm hand, I realized it wasn't as simple as handholding anymore, it suddenly meant so much more. He went to the side of the bed and pulled back the comforter, folding it down to the end of the bed, and then he folded back the sheet for us.

"Get in, babe," he whispered. Climbing onto the bed, I lay down and rolled to my side, watching as he crawled in next to me. He opened his arms and I moved into them, wiggling as close to him as possible. When my hand skimmed along his cock, his hips jerked, but he made no other movement to continue.

"Do you want to fuck me?" I asked hopefully as I rubbed my soft cock along his.

"I want to make love to you, desperately, but tonight I just want to hold you," he whispered before his lips crashed onto mine. Moaning, I slung a leg over his and pulled him even closer. Our kisses varied from heated and urgent to lazy and erotic, tongues explored and tasted jaws, necks, and ears. The one area of me his mouth completely avoided was the bruise that Edward had given me. Peter's lips never neared it, although I felt him tempted to give me a similar mark on the other side. When we parted, we were both gasping for breath and my cock had returned to a swollen state.

Gradually our breaths slowed together, his fingers grazed my face as he traced my eyes and lips. I ran mine through his hair.

"You need to let it grow out so I have something to hold," I suggested with a bit of a heat on my cheeks.

"For you, I will," he promised with a smile. Purring under my touch, his eyes closed. "You're so hot when you lose control like that. I've never let anyone else do that do that to me before."

"It was amazing," I sighed. My cock twitched at the memory.

"You're amazing," he whispered, opening his eyes. His hand took mine from his hair, his fingers brushing over the watch. "I noticed this on the airplane. It's very nice, expensive, elegant."

Part of me wanted to pull my hand from his, but I let him hold it.

"Thank you," I replied, unsure what else to say.

"It was a gift," he stated confidently. By remaining silent, I confirmed his suspicions. "I know it's your work, but I am going to admit that I am uncomfortable with someone else marking you and giving you gifts."

"I know," I mumbled. Sighing, he tucked me under his chin, wrapping me in warmth and strength and…his love.

Soon his breathing evened out, his lips parted as he fell into a deep sleep. While my body lay comfortable in his arms, safe and secure, my mind and heart wandered elsewhere. The pull strengthened, clamping down on my heart and stealing my breath. Even if he was thousands of miles away, Edward was with me, the watch on my wrist, the bear in my luggage, but most of all the pull that ached in my chest.

As I gave up the fight against sleep, the body next to me thinned, the hair became longer, the jaw more defined, and the lips familiar as they whispered their love for me.

The bed shifted under his weight and I buried my face deeper into the soft pillow. The sheet whispered down my back as someone pulled it off me and I smiled when I felt a kiss just above my ass. Without opening my eyes, I knew it was still dark out, it had probably only been a few hours since we'd fallen asleep, but Peter was always up for middle of the night fucks. The kisses traveled up the curve of my spine, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Caressing fingers followed the path of the lips.

"Jasper," he whispered gently.

"Time to fuck?" I mumbled into the pillow, sticking my ass in the air toward his awaiting cock. Knowing Peter, he already had the condom on and his fingers were eagerly slicked with lube to ready me.

I heard him chuckle, but never felt his fingers probe my hole. Growling impatiently, I lifted my ass higher.

"Time to feed the horses," he whispered, kissing along the nape of my neck.

"Have fun," I smiled.

"Oh, _we'll_ have fun," he said. Groaning, I buried my face.

"But it's dark out," I pouted.

"I know, and the horses are hungry. Come on, let's go see Random," he encouraged. Slowly, I rolled over and found Peter sitting next to me on the bed, smiling brightly.

And fucking completely dressed.

"How about you fuck me first, feed the horses later?" I suggested as I reached to undo the button of his pants.

"As tempting as that is, the horses need food, and then we've got some work to do. Oh, and good morning, beautiful."

Sighing, I let my hands fall to his thighs. Leaning, he kissed me. His fingers skimmed over the watch on my wrist and his eyes narrowed.

"Might want to take this off, wouldn't want anything to happen to it."

I looked down at the watch, and his fingers tracing the face of it, and sighed. Even though I had promised Edward I wouldn't remove it, I also wanted to keep it safe. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to it. Reluctantly, and with a heavy heart, I unclasped it and let it slide from my wrist onto the bed. I felt even more naked than I was.

I had broken my promise.

With downcast eyes, I looked back at Peter to find his smile a bit brighter. He kissed my forehead.

"I'll meet you downstairs."

I climbed off the bed, grumbling to myself the entire time I got dressed. Not sure what to put on, I wore jeans and a plain gray tee shirt and then put on my sneakers. Glancing at the door, I made sure I was alone before reaching to the bottom of my suitcase and pulling out Teddy. Bringing him up to my nose, I inhaled deeply, hoping to find a trace of Edward's scent on him. Sadly all I smelled was a furry bear. Hiding him back under my clothes, I grabbed my watch from the bed, my fingers tracing the script engraving. Turning it over again, I checked the time.

Almost forty hours until I was back in Seattle.

Sighing, I closed the suitcase before heading downstairs.

After a quick cup of coffee, which Peter made me drink on the walk to the barn, he was showing me how to scoop grain and I delivered it to the horses while he tossed hay in their stalls. When we were done, he led me upstairs to the hayloft to throw down more bales for the night feeding. As we lifted and tossed around bales of hay, the sun began to rise. We heard a few cars pull in and Peter told me it was the other workers.

"So I can go back to bed then?" I yawned.

"Not quite yet," he teased. After a long kiss in the hayloft, we went down to let the horses out. Peter showed me how to lead a horse and I helped him bring them out to the pasture. He left two horses inside plus Random and his mother. Once the horses were out, he grabbed a pitchfork and handed it to me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do I do with this? Poke you with it for waking me up so early?"

His laughter was full, his smile wide. "If I had woken you up for sex, you wouldn't be complaining."

"Sex is different, it's fun," I complained.

"This is fun," he countered as he walked down the aisle. "Come here, I'll show you."

Following him into a stall, I watched as he shifted through the bedding, scooping out the horseshit and tossing it into a wheel barrel.

"See? Easy."

"So is fucking," I sighed as I left to start another stall. A few workers came in and introduced themselves to me and spoke to Peter. Sam came in and he and Peter went over a few things while I continued with the stalls, muttering under my breath the entire time.

"Stupid fucking horses shit too much."

"I can hear you," Peter called out from the other end.

"Good!"

Sam and Peter laughed. About an hour later, we were done and I heard a bell chime.

"What the hell is that?"

"It's my mother, she calls everyone in for breakfast," Peter explained. We headed inside and feasted on scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast. Everyone was friendly, accepting me as one of them immediately even though I was completely fucking clueless around a barn.

One of them teased me, saying I wasn't 'a real Texan if I'd never rode'. Just as I was about to argue, and explain that I did in fact know how to ride, very well in fact, Peter spoke up and said he was going to teach me.

I hoped he meant on himself and not a horse.

After his revelation the night before, I thought things would be different between us, but he was right. Things didn't have to change. Our bodies still gravitated toward each other automatically, the chemistry between us undeniable. He still felt free enough to order me around and I felt secure enough to tease him about it. We were no more physical than usual, maybe even less given we hadn't even fucked yet.

But the sparkle in his eyes that I had previously known as lust took on new meaning. The way he watched me when others talked to me, always hovering protectively nearby, but respectfully letting me tread water on my own. I often caught him looking at me while we worked, a soft smile on his lips before he'd turn away. There were impromptu kisses and brushes of his body with mine, but nothing he wouldn't have done normally.

I felt just as comfortable with him as I always had. What made me uncomfortable was that we were still in Texas. Having Peter around helped, but there was a nagging darkness that kept threatening to claim me, and I felt like I was constantly keeping it at bay. It was like evil was crouching around every corner I turned, and I was on edge waiting for it to jump out and attack.

After breakfast, we went back to the barn and Peter took me into a room where there were a lot of saddles and horse stuff. He looked through a large wooden box before walking back to me with something I recognized.

In fact, I had just worn some a few days before for Mr. Jones.

Chaps.

Without a word, he kneeled in front of me.

Running my fingers through his hair, I smirked down at him. "Just where I like you best," I said bravely.

Quirking a brow at me, he smiled. "Odd, this is where I like to be."

He reached around my waist, placing the chaps low on my hips before doing up the buckle. Then with a smile, he tapped the inside of my thigh to spread my legs. Brushing his fingers along my cock, he zippered the chaps down the inside of my leg. He repeated the action on the other leg, taking extra time to find the zipper between my legs.

"Need help?" I offered.

"Nope, I got it," he smirked as he fondled my balls. "Just enjoying the scenery."

Something on the wall caught my attention and I felt my heart skip a beat at the memory of the braided leather running up the inside of my thighs like his fingers were doing. I could almost feel the smack of it on my ass, how it had stung and burned but aroused me at the same time. Apparently he saw the object of my attention.

"Maybe later," he winked before standing up and eyeing me.

"What?"

"You need one more thing," he said and disappeared. He returned quickly with two cowboy hats in his hands. One he placed on my head, dipping it so low I had to look at him from under the rim.

"Holy shit," he mumbled as he stepped back and looked at me. "You are fucking gorgeous."

Blushing, I reached up and tipped the hat at him. "Yee haw."

Rolling his eyes, he placed the other hat on his head and put on some chaps of his own. When he was finished, we went to the horses he'd left inside. He put saddles on them while I watched.

"Saddles and bridles," he informed me as I stood off to the side with a confused look.

"I know what they are," I huffed. I had done pony play before, I knew exactly what they were. My jaw ached at the thought of a bit in my mouth again. "What I don't know is why you're putting it on two of them?"

"Because _we're _going riding." He paused as he adjusted the saddle.

"The riding part sounds good, but horses?"

"Yes, horses, Jasper," he chuckled. "I told Sam I'd ride the fence today."

"Ride the fence? English please? I don't speak ranch."

He laughed as he did up a belt under the horse's stomach. "We've got a hundred of miles of fences, each day we ride along portions of them, make sure they are in good shape so the cattle don't escape."

When he was done with both horses, he led them outside, expecting me to follow.

Which I did.

I stood next to a dark brown horse. "I don't know about this, Peter. This isn't the kind of riding I'm used to," I said hesitantly.

"You can do this, he's a sweetheart, trust me." After he showed me how to get on, I attempted it myself while he held my horse. Lifting my foot to the stirrup, I swung my right leg over and proudly sat in the saddle.

"Pfft, this is easy," I said, feeling confident.

Until Peter let go and I was on my own.

Peter easily lifted himself onto his own horse. He looked stunning, almost regal, on the back of a horse. "Ready?"

My horse moved and I panicked, gripping the saddle with every ounce of strength I had.

"HOLY SHIT!" I yelped.

"Easy, babe. You're fine, just relax. Use your legs to hold on," he told me. "Watch me."

After I nodded, he continued to explain how to steer, start and stop, all very important things.

"We've got plenty of time, so we'll go slowly," he promised.

He was patient, waiting for me to feel comfortable before urging his own horse forward. He led us through a gate and we headed away from the barn. Being on the back of a horse wasn't unlike being on a man, the rocking motion was natural and my hips easily fell into the rhythm. It was even slightly erotic if I closed my eyes and imagined it wasn't a 1,300 pound creature under me. The saddle squeaked and my hands gripped the reins far tighter than they probably should have. Once I dared to look away from my horse's head, I chanced a glance at Peter.

He was perfectly at ease in the saddle. His back was straight but completely relaxed, his long legs curved around the sides of the horse and his booted feet were in the stirrups. I rather enjoyed watching his hips roll with the movement of his horse. The hat sat low on his head, but I could make out his face and the smile he wore, as well as the blush that began to spread over his cheeks.

"What are you staring at?" he asked without looking at me.

"A hot cowboy."

"I'm not a cowboy," he challenged.

"Close enough," I shrugged.

We came up to the fence and Peter began to explain it to me, how long that portion was, what it was made of and what kind of damage to look for. Then he directed the horses along the fence and we fell into a slow walk. I asked questions about the ranch, what kind of cattle they had and how much work it was.

When he told me that the farm barely broke even, I was surprised and looked at him.

"Why don't you just sell it then?"

His wide shoulders lifted as he sighed. "I can't bear the thought of the farm being run by someone else or divided up and sold off. It would break mama's heart to see all of my father's hard work gone. So I…" he paused, looking out over the open space before us. "I fund the farm. Whatever it doesn't make, I replace with my own money."

If I hadn't already thought he was the most generous person I'd ever meet, his words had just confirmed it. I couldn't even imagine that kind of bond with a family, willing to give up part of yourself for their benefit.

"That's pretty incredible of you," I sighed.

He brushed off my compliment. "She's my mama, and Sam, well, he might as well be a brother. This farm isn't my life, it's not the one I would choose to live, but I have the means to make sure that it stays their life."

We continued to ride in silence for awhile. The further we got from the ranch house and into the open fields, the more apprehensive I became. I had felt safer at the ranch with people around, but out in the vast pasture I felt exposed and vulnerable. Something tightened my throat and sat deep in my stomach, stirring up the breakfast I'd eaten. Peter glanced over at me a few times, his eyes growing more concerned each time.

"You okay, Jasper?"

I shook my head. How could tell him what was wrong when I wasn't even sure of it myself?

"Jasper?" he coaxed as he reached out and put his hand on my thigh. "Babe, what is it?"

"It's Texas," I answered as simply as I could, even though I knew it was so much more than a state.

"I thought you missed Texas?"

"No," I replied sharply.

"No Texas forever?"

Sighing, I looked down, hoping to hide some of my face under the rim of my hat. "Not in a good way."

"Tell me," he requested softly.

Hearing the concern and love in his voice, I decided it was time to take a leap. Besides Riley, Peter was the first person I'd ever trusted, and I knew shit about being a boyfriend, but it might involve sharing your past. If I was going to expose the horrors of my past to Edward, maybe I should test the waters by telling Peter first. If it scared Peter off, then I knew it was something I could never share with Edward.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head and looked into Peter's worried eyes.

It was time to trust him with more than my body.

"My parents…" I stopped; already not sure I could continue.

"Jasper, whatever it is, you can tell me," he assured me. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled it slowly before beginning.

"My first clear memory of my childhood is when I was about three or four. I had woken up in the middle of the night because I had wet my bed and I went to tell my mama. When I walked into the living room I found all these people there. They were dirty and smelled bad. Some were standing, others were sitting and talking, some were passed out. I walked around them and they mostly ignored me. I finally found my mother on the couch. She was just fucking laying there on her back, all limp. Her eyes were half closed and there was white drool coming from her mouth. She didn't respond when I talked to her, so I poked her. She started convulsing and I screamed as loud as I could. I was scared, I had no idea what was going on. Finally some fucking asshole came over and told me to shut the fuck up but when he saw my mother, he panicked and called over a friend. They pushed me out of the way and hovered around mama, pushing on her chest, slapping her face."

"Jesus," Peter muttered. "Overdose?

I shrugged. "Or some bad shit. They used to send me to bed, telling me it was their 'fun time'. I was too young, I had no idea what that meant, but I was used to strangers coming and going from my house and being there at all hours. I woke up more than once to find some addict passed out next to me on my bed or fucking each other on my floor. My mother was high most of my childhood."

"Fuck," he sighed. "What kind of drugs?"

"Meth, crack, E, pills, just about anything she could get her hands on that would get her high. Her shit was always lying around the house. Pipes, needles, mirrors, bags of shit. They told me not to touch it and I never did, but it was always within reach."

"And your father?"

"Just as bad. He supplied it, he dealt it on the side so they could get a discount. He managed to hold down a job at a garage, but his entire paycheck went to drugs. We never had any food. I was used to no heat or lights because they had been turned off. I think they loved me in their own fucked up way, they never hit me or abused me, not on purpose anyway, but they didn't take care of me either. I was never safe. Any of those people could have walked off with me and my parents wouldn't have known. One time, I think I was about five, my mother was high and I was in my room playing. She came in and told me I was a superhero with powers. She'd been watching some stupid cartoon on TV and said that boy looked like me so I must be a superhero too. So she tied a fucking sheet around my neck for a cape and then opened my window."

I hesitated, judging his reaction so far before continuing. His brows were knitted, his lips pursed, his eyes dark and narrow. He cringed before I even said the words.

"She picked me up and stood me on the edge of the window, telling me all I had to do was spread my arms and I'd fly just like the boy in the cartoon. I believed her, she was my mama, she wouldn't lie to

me. So I lifted my arms, she kissed my cheek and then tossed me out of the window. I …tried to fly, Peter, I swear, but it didn't work. I wasn't a superhero after all. " Tears threatened the corners of my eyes, but I refused to give into them.

"Oh, Jasper," he choked out, his hand squeezing my thigh. "I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry, babe."

"Broken arm and collarbone. She told the doctors_ I'd _been watching the cartoon and wanted to see if I could fly. They believed her, didn't even ask me if that was what happened. I started school a year late because they had forgotten to sign me up. I was behind everyone else but I loved school because I got to eat at least once a day. I would even steal extra apples or pears from the lunch line so I could eat them for dinner. I became very good at stealing, even taking clothes from the lost and found box and money from teacher's desks."

It was silent except for the horses' hooves as they trudged through the tall grass and the creaking saddles as we shifted our weight. My heart wasn't beating nearly as fast as I thought it would. Peter hadn't run yet, but I had to know if he wanted to.

"Do you think less of me?"

"Why would you ask that?" he said angrily.

"Because they used drugs."

"Key word, 'they' not you. People use drugs for different reasons, Jasper. Sometimes it's just to forget their lives, step out of their own shoes for awhile."

_Riley._

"Others are purely for sadistic and selfish reasons. Your parents were selfish because they put their need for drugs before you. You were lucky you survived."

He didn't even know the real hell I had survived.

"How did you end up in Seattle?" he asked, curious. "Are your parents in Seattle too?"

"No, they're not. One night the summer I was eleven, I was really hungry. Mama had passed out on the couch and my dad had gone out to score more shit. I hadn't eaten in a few days and I was fucking hungry so I asked him to buy some cereal and milk for me and he promised he would. Well, he came home with drugs for them but shit for me. Said he forgot. I tried to sleep but I was so hungry I couldn't. So I went outside and snuck into the neighbor's backyard. They ate take out a lot and always threw their leftovers away, so I went through their trash. I thought I was quiet; I had done it before and never got caught. I found some pizza crusts and an old can of soup. I ate the crusts right there, not even waiting to get back to my house, but as I was going to leave, their light came on and the guy came out. I lied and said I had seen my cat run into their yard. I didn't even have a cat. I hid the soup behind my back, afraid they'd make me give it back, but they didn't notice, they just smiled and said okay and wished me luck finding my cat. I took the soup back to my house, opened it and then ate it right from the can. I didn't even heat it up."

"They called social services, didn't they?"

"Yep. They fucking showed up the next day to 'check up on me'. Fucking bitch just barged right in. Mama was sleeping and the woman and a cop just came in. As soon as the cop saw my parent's shit on the table, the woman told me to pack a bag."

"Did you go to a foster home?"

"Nope, they didn't have any available. I went to a state home." I sighed. "It was beyond awful."

"How long until you went back home?"

"Never. My parents were arrested and jailed. While they were in there, they gave up their parental rights. They didn't even want me when they got out. I was in the Home until I turned eighteen. Then I left and took the money they gave me to get to Seattle."

"I'm sorry I made you come back here, Jasper."

And he was, I could feel it.

"I admit, it's not easy. I don't like this state, but you're giving me new memories of Texas." I smiled weakly at him, and while he was giving me happier memories to take with me, it wasn't enough to erase the nightmares I had. "Will you move back here someday?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I won't ever sell the ranch regardless, even when mama is gone." He looked over at me. "What about you? What do you see in your future?"

"It's hard for me to imagine a future. Up until recently, my life had been living moment to moment, just trying to survive long enough to see daylight again. So planning ahead is not something I'm good at."

"You've never thought about your future?"

"Never imagined I'd have one. There were a lot of nights as a kid I thought I'd die of hunger, then in the Home, I just wanted to die and then on the streets, I never knew when the next john might be a fucking psycho and do something besides fuck me."

"Jasper," he sighed sadly. As much as I didn't want pity, I reveled in the way his voice softened and his eyes filled with concern.

"What do you want most in your life?"

It was a loaded question with thousands of possible answers. Most people would say money or love or power or respect. I wanted something simple, although not always free.

"I just want to be safe."

"You're safe with me," he reminded me softly.

"I know," I smiled.

"And love?" he questioned casually.

"I'm a hooker, Peter, love isn't for us."

"Jasper, love is for everyone."

"Is it? I'm not so sure."

He pulled his horse to a stop and I did the same, although with more effort. "Why would you say that?"

Keeping my eyes on my horse's neck as I patted him, I shrugged. "Not so sure I deserve love, Peter. What have done to deserve it? Fucked people? Stole money? Food? Clothes?"

"You survived hell, Jasper. You took a shitty life and made something out of it. You could have easily turned to drugs like your parents, and probably at least half the hookers on the streets do, but you didn't because you're stronger than that."

I couldn't help but think of Riley. I definitely wasn't stronger than Riley, but I had seen what drugs did, I had been brought up around them, had been the product of their environment. Riley had led a privileged childhood compared to me; drugs weren't something he had discovered until he began hooking.

"They were easy enough to get. As much as I wanted to forget the shit people were making me do, or that I was fucking starving, I couldn't bring myself to do drugs. I'd rather suffer than touch the fucking shit."

"If anyone deserves love, Jasper, it's you."

Tipping his hat back, he leaned toward me and tilted his head, bringing his lips to mine. Gripping the saddle for balance, I tried to meet him half way. Our lips and tongues touched, and I knew he was trying to take some of the pain away, give me happier memories to leave Texas with. Slowly he sat back in his saddle.

"I wish I could take it all away," he said wistfully.

"I know. Thank you for that."

"Thank you for telling me, Jasper. I know it was difficult for you."

I nodded but remained quiet. I wasn't going to deny it wasn't hard to expose myself, to tell someone besides Riley what I had endured. Riley knew it all, he knew what had happened at the Home, but he never coddled me because of it. He simply accepted it as part of my past. Though he often said he wanted to hijack a bus, drive it to Texas and fuck Ian up so badly that he would never fuck anyone else again.

"Come on, let's try to finish this by lunch," he said before urging his horse forward again. It was still early, the sun had just breached the tree line when I heard Peter humming.

"What are you singing?"

He turned his mischievous eyes to me, a wicked smile on his face. "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys," he sang in a perfect Texas drawl.

I had no clue what the song was, but I laughed at him singing it, each verse sillier than the last. I felt light and free for the first time since we had landed.

"Warm puppies and girls of the night?" I questioned.

"Hey, whatever works," he smiled. "Wanna try a jog?"

"Not if it means going faster than this?"

"I'll race ya?"

"No fucking way," I shot back.

Laughing, he grinned, his eyes sparkling as they looked out over his ranch. I wondered if he missed it, if someday, regardless of what he had said, he would be back to live there.

"**~~**"

"They look hot," he whistled as I stood in front of the mirror in a pair of lime green and brown cowboy boots.

"Are you sure the green isn't too flashy?"

Behind me, he sat on a bench and shrugged. "So what if it is? They look amazing. You have to get them."

I eyed them a bit longer, even turning to check them out at different angles.

"Jesus, Jasper, stop being such a girl and just get the damn things."

"Okay," I finally agreed before sitting next to him to take them off. "Now what?"

"A hat, you need a hat."

We walked over to a wall of hats, and after trying on about fifty, I finally settled on a simple brown one with a braided strip around the band. The cashier rang up my hat and boots, but when I went to pull out my credit card, Peter was already handing her his.

"Peter," I chided.

"My treat," he said and when I rolled my eyes, he continued. "If someone else can buy you that watch, I can get you some boots and a hat."

After signing the receipt, we headed out to his truck. Instead of going straight back to the ranch, he showed me around town a bit, the high school, the park and the restaurant with the best barbeque ribs. In the safety of the cab, he reached for my hand, covering it with his own, his thumb gently stroking my skin.

"Hungry? Want some lunch?"

"Sure."

A few minutes later, he pulled up in front of a diner and we got out. The inside was typical, even down to the red and white checkered tables and curvaceous waitress. However the food was anything but typical. The burger was perfect and I had never had better fries. I asked Peter about his childhood, trying to coax stories from him, but he hesitated.

"What's wrong?" I asked, stuffing another fry into my mouth. He shrugged and sipped his soda.

"I just feel guilt telling you about my childhood after you told me about yours."

"Why?"

"Because mine wasn't anything like yours, Jasper. My parents loved and cared for me. They kept me safe and fed. They taught me how to work hard, and I did, and got myself into Princeton. Sure, I had to work the ranch, but the biggest obstacle I faced was realizing I was gay. My childhood was a fucking fairytale compared to yours."

"I still want to know about it, please tell me," I assured him.

"Why?" he asked, putting his drink down and tilting his head.

"Because I want to know what being a kid was supposed to be like," I whispered, giving him a small smile. Reaching across the table, he took my hand into his, squeezing my fingers.

"It was supposed to be wonderful, babe. Happy and loving. You were supposed to have a crush and a first kiss that made your heart race. You were supposed to be accepted no matter what and have a best friend that was loyal and that you trusted with your secrets. You were supposed to have fun and get a job as a teen to save up for your first car." He paused, staring at me before he continued. "You were supposed to learn about love," he finished quietly.

"I am." Smiling, I slid my hand from his and began to eat again. "I didn't do any of those things, so tell me about yours."

His face softened and he proceeded to tell me a few stories about his childhood. He also told me more about Sam and the other workers at the ranch, and even some romantic stories about his parents. When we were done, he paid and we headed back out to the truck. The sun was high in the sky, beaming down on us.

"Forgot how fucking hot it gets," he complained, taking off his hat to wipe his brow. His tee shirt was sticking to him in all the right places and he looked positively edible. Pushing him against the side of the truck, I pressed myself to him and wrapped my hand around his neck to bring his lips to mine. His hands rested on my hips as his tongue entered my mouth briefly before withdrawing.

"FAGGOTS!" a guy called out as he walked by with some friends.

Immediately Peter released me, putting his hat back on, and with a quiet 'stay here', he was walking to the group of men. They stopped as he neared, smiling and nudging each other as they watched him approach. Torn between helping him and doing as he asked, I took a few steps forward and then stopped.

"Got a fucking problem?" Peter asked them in a calm voice. Even though he was outnumbered, he stood tall, his chin out as he glared at them. His opponent was several inches shorter, but stocky and in shape, he also had four friends for backup.

"Yeah, we don't like faggots in our town," the guy replied. Absently, I felt my pants pocket for my switchblade, my heart sinking when I realized I hadn't even brought it with me to Texas.

"This is my town too, asshole, and I'll do as I damn well please, including kissing my boyfriend," Peter answered back with a surprisingly intimidating voice. The other man's eyes narrowed as he took in Peter. While he was tall and had wide shoulders, Peter's intimidation didn't come from his size, it came from something else, something inside him. It was what often had me kneeling before him, it was what commanded entire rooms of business associates, and it was what scared the group of men in front of him.

"Just fucking keep that shit to yourself. You queers need to learn some manners," the man accused. Apparently the guy thought there was safety in numbers. Peter took another step forward, putting himself dangerously within their reach. His muscles rolled under his damp tee shirt as he shifted his weight causally, but in a steady stance. My body tensed, feeling that familiar jolt of adrenaline as it soared through me. It made me feel sharp and alive.

Looking down at the guy, Peter smiled. "Why don't you take your…friends inside before you get yourself into something you can't handle and embarrass yourself," he snarled. The guy glanced at his four friends for support, but was met with looks of indifference. He was on his own.

Like an experienced predator, Peter had separated the weakest from the pack and was about to pounce.

Taking advantage of the guy's lack of support, Peter leaned in even closer, the brim of his hat edging the other guy's, and spoke in a voice so low I couldn't hear him. When he pulled back, I saw the guy's eyes widened. One of his buddies tapped his shoulder.

"Let's go," he encouraged. They all took a few steps backward before turning and going into the diner. Satisfied, Peter turned and walked back to me with an eerie darkness in his eyes.

"What did you say?" I asked as he walked up to me and without hesitation took me back into his arms. After nuzzling my neck with his nose, he inhaled deeply and then ran his lips along my jaw to my mouth, where he claimed it in a deep, public kiss. Finally, he broke away and glancing toward the diner, he gave the guys watching us a wicked smirk and tipped his hat to them.

"Peter?"

Releasing me, he shrugged and walked toward his side of the truck. "I just said that if he didn't shut the fuck up, I was going to embarrass him in front of his friends by making him piss his pants."

"How were you going to do that?"

As he pulled out onto the road, he looked at me and winked. "I have my ways."

He showed me a few more places and we stopped by a flower shop so he could get some flowers for his mother and then we headed back to the ranch. His mother was cooking dinner when we arrived and when she saw the flowers he brought her, tears welled up in her eyes.

"Forget me nots. The flowers your father used to bring me every week," she cried. "Thanks, baby boy." She pulled Peter into a hug and then kissed his cheek. "Now go finish with work so you can be on time for dinner."

Peter dragged me back to the barn for the afternoon chores of feeding and watering the horses. Then he took me for a ride on the tractor, singing some corny country songs the entire time. We got back just in time to clean up for dinner and meet his mother, Sam, and his wife Emily at the table. Caroline had made some barbeque ribs and I thanked her for the sauce, which I enjoyed watching Peter lick diligently off his fingers.

After helping his mother clear the table, he grabbed two beers and took my hand.

"Come with me," he said, leading me to the porch. Sitting on the top step, he sprawled his legs, patting the lower step between them. Accepting his offer, I sat down and leaned back into him, resting my arms on his solid thighs. He opened the beers and handed one to me. We sat in silence, watching the moon hang low in the sky.

"It's beautiful," he sighed. "It's times like that I think maybe I could live here again."

"But?"

"Work. I need to be in Seattle for it."

"What exactly is your work? I don't know what you do, just that you are always doing it."

He laughed and I felt the vibrations through my back. "It's hard to explain, but I own a company that specializes in advertising and PR for companies in the medical industry. Hospitals, practices, insurance, pharmaceutical companies, and others."

"PR?"

"Public relations. Like making good with the public after you've fucked something up. We come in and fix the problem."

"And with all the shit out there, you're probably in demand?"

"Yes, sir. We keep busy. If there's an emergency, like a scandal or something, it can be a twenty-four hour a day job. I've got four corporate offices nationwide. I'm based in Seattle of course, but I also have ones in New York, Chicago and Los Angles."

"Is that what you went to college for?"

"I got my Master's in business, but I got a dual undergrad in accounting and communication, so I learned a bit about radio, print and television."

"Wow," I said."I'm impressed."

I felt his smile as he pressed his lips to my neck. "Does my work turn you on? Because I want to fuck you pretty hard right now."

"Uhuh, you said this wasn't about sex," I reminded him as I tilted my head and let him roam my neck more freely. Growling, he pulled back. "Tell me more?"

"Um, let's see. After I graduated, I followed Nicolas, my boyfriend at the time, to Seattle. He was a musician and wanted to go there for the music. I didn't care where I went, I just knew I wasn't ready to go back to Texas. The ranch was doing okay on its own and it just hurt too much to be here without my father. In Seattle, I got a job at a hospital in their PR department, completely entry level shit, but it got my foot in the door. I met a great guy who taught me everything I needed to know. My boyfriend and I hit a hard spot in our relationship and this other guy was easy to talk to, we'd go out for beers and stuff."

"Something happen between you?"

His chin rested on my shoulder, his leaning against mine, his arms wrapped around my waist. "One night, he gave me a ride home from the bar. Nicolas was out of town with his band, so I invited Brenden up. We ended up fucking on the couch for hours. I'd like to blame the beer but I wasn't drunk. I knew what I was doing, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted him. He just made me feel something I wasn't getting anymore."

"Did your boyfriend find out?"

"I told him when he got home a few days later, right before I told him Brenden was married with a baby."

"Oh," I murmured. "Ouch."

"Yeah, ouch is right. Nicolas couldn't forgive me for what had happened and we broke up. I was making enough money to support myself by then, so I moved out and got my own place. I was Brenden's boy toy on the side for a bit. We fucked a lot, he got what he wasn't getting at home and I quickly worked my way up the ladder at work. It was mutually beneficial."

"But you loved him?"

"I thought I did, but I don't know now. Maybe. He said he loved me, and in his own way, he did. Regardless, he was married. I felt shitty enough being the other man but if he'd ever left his baby, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. We were together for about a year, then I had to go find my own way. I took my father's inheritance and everything I'd learned and started my business. It wasn't long before I was in demand. I went from one assistant to a company that employs several hundred people. The first contract I got was a new up and coming company that ended up inventing a piece of equipment that helps detect a certain kind of cancer. They became huge, multimillion dollar contracts, and they kept my company on retainer. I worked my ass off for them, and they recommended me to other places and it snowballed from there. I put in some fucking long hours, but I began to earn a lot of money, and started to indulge in the finer things in life along with supporting some charities."

"You work hard, you deserve it all."

"I've always been a hard worker, I like to work. I like the money, I like nice things and being able to help the ranch so my mother and Sam don't have to worry."

I took a long sip of my beer and looked up at the night sky. "It seems like we're in a different world down here doesn't it?"

"Yeah, sometimes it does."

His nose nuzzled along my hair and I hummed in pleasure, closing my eyes and just resting against him. His mother came out and said good night, kissing us both before going to her room.

"Does she know what I am?" I asked hesitantly.

He sighed before replying. "No. I told her you were someone I'd been seeing on a regular basis. But I left out the part about paying for you. She wouldn't understand why I couldn't find a nice guy on my own. She doesn't understand my schedule, or previous lack of interest in a relationship."

"You called me," I began, my fingers lightly skimming up and down his jean clad calves, "your boyfriend to those guys earlier today."

"It was the easiest thing to say. Did that bother you?"

"No."

And it honestly didn't. It wasn't a term I had heard often other than when a john said his boyfriend would kill him if he knew he was out fucking whores, and until Edward, it wasn't label I ever would have applied to myself.

"Jasper, I know we're far from boyfriend status. Hell, I still pay for you. We haven't even gone on a proper date but I bring you home to meet my mother and show you a part of my life outside that hotel room. It's…confusing to say the least. I don't want you to think that I am trying to get you to do something you aren't ready for, I just wanted to…share a part of myself, a part of my life with you." He leaned his head lower, his lips right at my ear. "I'm a very patient man, Jasper. I can wait for what I want."

He kissed my cheek and then leaned back.

"Can I ask you another question?" I waited, continuing when he nodded. "Why did you reserve me for the weekend?"

"Instead of just asking you to come home with me?"

"Yeah."

"Honestly, I thought I would be helping you out," he sighed. "Of course, after today, I realize that is far from the truth."

"Helping me out how?" I leaned to the side to look up at him.

"Well, first I assumed you missed your home state. I had no idea of the shit you went through, and I never would have brought you back if I'd known. I won't forgive myself for not checking with you first."

"It's okay, really."

"It was foolish and presuming of me, and as much as I wish I could change it, I can't. I thought I was helping you out because I know you are trying to pay off James and cash is an issue for you. I thought by reserving you, I was killing two birds with one stone. You'd get to come back to Texas and not have to pay for it, plus you'd get paid for your time here. I thought the money would help you but I know you would never accept it directly from me. If I had invited you to come on your own time, you would have lost whatever money you would have normally made by working the weekend, which I imagine is quite a bit."

Reaching up, I cupped his cheek in my hand. "Thank you," I said sincerely.

"My turn to ask a question," he said, placing a kiss on my forehead. "How is it going with James?"

I sighed heavily and turned away from him. It seemed no matter the thousands of miles between me and Seattle, James was still there.

"Jasper?" he prompted when I didn't reply.

"I missed a payment last week and…"

"And?"

"I think he might take it out on a friend of mine. Another hooker." I cringed when I thought of Riley in Seattle alone. Not that he couldn't handle himself, far from it, but if something happened, there was no way for me to get to him quickly.

"Take it out as in…"

"Yeah. He's put more than one hooker in the hospital and there are a few missing that I think he was involved in as well."

"Not very good business to get rid of the workers bringing in the money."

"He doesn't care. He'll just find more, there are always people looking for quick money or a fix. He can provide both."

"If he doesn't care about the money, why does he want yours so bad?"

"Because he can. He knows I'll pay it. He can't withhold drugs from me, but he can hold a friend over me."

"You're paying him off to protect someone else?"

Wrapped in his essence, I looked out over the front yard and nodded.

"Oh, Jasper, why didn't you tell me?" He draped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me close. I felt a kiss on my temple as he tried to sooth away my worries.

"I can handle it," I replied, leaning into him.

"I know you can. But promise me, if you need-"

"I will call you, I promise."

He squeezed me tighter and I closed my eyes. We listened to the horses whinny in the distance, the dogs barking and the heat bugs buzzing - sounds so far away from the beeping of horns and screeching of tires. Slowly, he began to sway us back and forth, his nose often nuzzling my hair or his lips leaving random kisses.

"It's peaceful here," I mumbled.

"Yeah, it is. A nice change," he agreed. Relaxing further against him, I yawned. "Ready for bed?" he asked me.

Guzzling the rest of my beer, I nodded and stood up. We headed inside and up to the bedroom. Peter closed the door behind us and then leaned against it.

"Take everything off but the boots and hat, boy."

My heart skipped at his tone, I hadn't expected his demand. Biting my lip, I tossed my hat on the bed before reaching for the hem of my tee shirt, slowly pulling it up over my head. Dropping it to the floor, I unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. Shimmying them down my thighs, I let them fall to my ankles, but with the boots on, they were stuck.

Before I could move, Peter was on his knees in front of me, his hands supporting my calf as he lifted it and tugged my pants off over the boot. Then he did the same with the other leg. Glancing up at me, he leaned in and kissed my cock through the fabric of my underwear. Immediately, I was hard as a fucking rock, my cock clearly remembering the feeling of his tight throat the night before. Lapping along the length of my dick, his moist breath soaked through the material. I reached for the hat and placed it back on my head just as his thumbs hooked into the elastic of my briefs.

"Oh shit," I said as he slid them down my legs and helped me step out of them. Then I stood before him in nothing but my cowboy boots and a hat. My cock bobbed only inches from his lush lips and I looked at him expectantly. "Suck me?"

Instead he stood up and put a few steps between us.

"This isn't about sex," he reminded himself.

"Fine," I huffed with a pout. "Then let's go to bed."

Licking his lips, he took off his tee shirt and sat on the bed.

"Boots, boy."

With a smirk, I went to him and straddled his outstretched leg, waiting until I felt his booted foot against my ass before pulling on the other boot. Dropping it with a thud, I moved to his other leg and did the same thing, but before he could grab me like the night before, I stepped out of his reach.

Two could play his game.

Frustrated and with empty hands, he sighed and stood up, undoing his pants and pulling them off along with his briefs. I watched him, unable to deny the craving for him that swelled inside me. My heart beat faster and my cock hardened even more when he sat on the edge of the bed again. He leaned back on the palms of his hands, his legs relaxed and spread open. His cock, framed in trimmed wiry curls, was growing steadily, twitching to life as he stared at me.

"You're beautiful," he murmured so quietly I wasn't sure I was meant to hear it. We tested each other, our eyes hungrily raking the flesh of the other. There was no doubt we both wanted it, I wanted his cock in my ass and he wanted to put it there. I took a few steps forward until I was standing between his parted legs and rested a hand on his shoulder. Looking down at him from under the hat, I took my cock into my other hand and began stroking myself.

"Fuck, boy," he groaned, his resolve quickly weakening.

"Please, Peter?" I whispered. "I need you."

"Jesus, Jasper, this isn't…."

Pouting, I lowered my eyes to his cock, noticing the fluid leaking liberally from the slit and sliding down the head. Any second now….

"It doesn't have to be about sex, we can…make love, and it have still be about us." Hanging my head back, I swallowed hard and let out an open mouth groan, and then I dropped to my knees. "Just a taste?"

"Fuck, I need you too much," he moaned, his hands taking the hat off my head before loosely threading his fingers through my hair.

He'd forgotten I was a professional at seduction.

I smiled in victory and then leaned forward to swirl my tongue around the head of his cock, relishing in the taste of him.

"Fuck, babe," he groaned.

"Trust me?" I asked while stroking his cock with a relaxed grip.

"Yeah, of course."

"Then lay back," I told him. He did as I asked and then I lifted his feet onto the bed. He was completely open and vulnerable before me. I knew it was not a position he was used to. Peter was usually the one in control, the one giving instructions, and it was a turn on when he relinquished some of that power to me. Placing my hands on the insides of his thighs to keep them parted, I felt a shudder pass through him. Pleased with his reaction, I leaned forward the few inches and took one of his balls into my mouth.

"Oh fuck," he cried out, his body tensing for a second, before relaxing into my touch. I sucked on his sac, nibbling on the hot, wrinkled skin before releasing it and moving to the other. I moaned around him, his body jumping in reaction to the vibration. Releasing his sac, I wasted no time before dragging the flat of my tongue along the sensitive skin under his balls and then swirling it around his entrance.

"Holy shit," he gasped, surprised at the wetness between his legs. I could smell his scent, heady and musky, I breathed it in deep through my nose as my tongue lapped at his tight, rosy entrance.

"Oh God, oh God, fuck yeah, fuck…" An endless stream of moans came from him as my tongue worked his ass, circling the puckered skin of his hole before I parted him further with my fingers and teasingly dipped the tip of my tongue in him. His hips bucked up and I put my hands on them to keep him still and on the bed. Unable to move hips, his upper body began to writhe.

"Jasper, please, babe," he called out, grinding his ass impatiently into my face. Alternating between dipping, flicking and lapping, I lavished his hole and the tender, pale skin around it. He tasted manly, tangy and pungent.

"More," he begged quietly. Sitting back on my heels, I watched him, his beautiful body tensing with anticipation, his abs flexing, his thighs trembling. Keeping my eyes on his face, I traced his entrance with my finger. "Yeah, do it, babe," he encouraged breathlessly.

"Has anyone…"

"No, never."

He'd never been fucked, he'd never even had someone else's finger in his ass.

"Are you sure?" I asked, the tip of my finger pressing against him. He nodded frantically. Brining my finger up to my mouth, I sucked on it for a few seconds before putting it back at his hole.

"Need it," he admitted just as my finger slipped inside him. His body reflexively clamped down around the intrusion even as he welcomed it.

"So fucking tight, Peter," I groaned. The thought of how tight he'd be around my cock made it jerk and my hips bucked against the bed. Pushing my finger in a bit more, I paused, letting his body adjust. Only when he groaned in frustration did I continue. My hips continued to thrust against the end of the bed in the same rhythm my finger plunged in and out of him. Shamelessly, his pressed his ass toward my hand, forcing it deeper. Curling my finger inside him, I found his gland and brushed along it several times.

"Oh God, oh fuck," he whimpered. "Oh yeah, fuck me."

Obeying, I fucked his ass with my finger and leaning forward, took his balls back into my mouth, slurping them loudly as I licked and sucked. His breaths were ragged, his body already sitting on the edge of his orgasm. Taking his cock into his own hand, he stroked himself a few times, crying out with each tug.

"Jasper, make love to me, please," he begged breathlessly.

I withdrew my finger, his body instantly coming down from the edge of his orgasm. Letting his hot flesh slip from my mouth, I leaned back. He exhaled heavily, his cock bouncing when he released it, slapping thick and hard against his stomach.

"Peter?"

Lifting his head off the bed, he gazed down his body at me with a lazy smile on his face. "Jasper, I want this. I want you to be my first. I told you this weekend wasn't about sex, and you said we can still make love and have it be about us. You're right, and this is how we can do that. I'm ready. Make love to me, Jasper."

Stunned, and pretty fucking excited, I nodded and climbed onto the bed. Hovering over him, I ran a finger up his chest, along his neck to his cheek.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I asked quietly. His eyes never left mine, they never looked down at our seeping cocks, or even at my lips so close to his own. In the brilliant greens and blues I saw his readiness to give that part of himself away.

To give it to me.

My chest filled, warming with something familiar but still unknown and I heard myself suck in a sharp breath.

"Positive. I want to give this to only you," he assured me, taking my hand from his face and kissing the empty spot on my wrist where the watch had been. I leaned down to kiss him, moaning when I tasted the beer on his tongue when it swept across mine. I felt something sharp cutting into the back of my calves and I remembered the boots. Caught up in his rapture and need, I had forgotten to take them off.

Breaking the kiss, I chuckled, "I still have my boots on."

Wrapping his large hand around my neck, he pulled me back down to his lips.

"Leave 'em on, boy," he murmured before shoving his tongue into my mouth just as his hips thrust up insistently against mine. "I'm ready, Jasper," he breathed into the kiss.

Our slick and needy cocks slid against each other as our mouths lavished necks and collarbones. With one last nibble to his unshaven jaw, I sat back on my calves while he leaned over to the table drawer for lube and a condom. Opening the wrapper, he reached for my cock and slipped the condom on. Then he drizzled lube along my length before spreading out. I was still between his legs, watching the foreign movements as_ he_ readied _me_. I was good at fucking, I knew it, those that bottomed for me knew it, but this was…_Peter_.

A confident, intimidating, gorgeous,_ top_.

A virgin.

Lifting his legs for me, he held them under his knees while I poured some lube over his hole and spread it around. Easily slipping in two fingers, I moved them in and out, eyeing his reaction, watching him go from tense to begging for more. I withdrew my fingers and placed the flared head of my cock at his entrance. Rolling my hips forward, the head of my cock pressed at his puckered entrance.

I looked at him one last time.

"I'm sure, babe," he answered my unasked question.

"I'll go slowly," I promised.

I should have watched his face to judge his pain, but I couldn't resist watching my cock as it slid into him, his body stretching to accommodate my size. It was beyond amazing. He was even tighter than I had imagined, the ring of muscle gripping my cock firmly. As much as I wanted to continue to force my way in, I stopped and glanced up at him. His head was thrown back, his teeth gnawing at his bottom lip, his breaths strained and harsh. Soothingly, I ran a hand up and down his chest and abdomen, waiting for his body to adjust and accept me. Finally, he nodded.

"You okay?"

"More," he gasped. Keeping one hand on his chest, I put my other on his semi-soft cock, pumping it as I pushed in further. Slowly and steadily, I entered him inch by inch. I knew he was hurting, I could feel the way his body tensed; I could see it in his wide eyes as they watched me. Once I was completely sheathed in the hot embrace of his ass, I stilled my hips but maintained my stroke on his cock.

"Relax, baby," I murmured. "Breathe."

"It burns," he hissed, clenching his eyes. His own fingers dug into the tender skin behind his knees as he took deep breaths.

"I know, sweetheart, but it'll get better, I promise. Concentrate on your cock in my hand, and how good it feels."

Quickening my pace, I pumped his cock, feeling it twitch in my fist as it grew. Gradually, his hips began to move, seeking out the friction and lifting willingly meeting my hand. In the dim light, I saw a light sheen of sweat covering his body. The air was heavy with the natural scent of us, from our sex and the work we had done earlier.

"There ya go," I encouraged him. "Feel my hand on you."

"Fuck," he sighed, his body relaxing a bit around me. Opening my eyes, he looked at me. They were murky with desire but there were no clouds of regret.

"I have to move," I warned him, unable to stop myself when my hips bucked forward in a primal need. Sliding my cock out, I reveled in the grip his ass had on me. In my hand, his cock began to pulse and I knew he was already close, the hint of his orgasm overwhelming any pain he was in as it poised around his body, readying to crash over him any second. Sweat ran down his chest when he arched his back and groaned with abandon.

"Let me feel your ass around me when you come," I coaxed, stroking his rigid shaft even faster. "Come on, sweetheart, come for me."

Throwing his head back, the corded muscles in his neck strained against his skin and he released a guttural cry as his climax washed over him, his face contorted in bliss. In my hand, his cock jerked hard before it erupted, white ribbons of cum shooting from the head landed delicately on his chest. The spasms of his ass clamped around my cock, strangling it as I rode out his orgasm with him. Peter's entire body quivered in ecstasy, tensing and relaxing rhythmically with each pulse of his cock.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he muttered, thrashing his head back and forth until his cock was spent and twitching in my hand. Releasing it, I let it fall against his stomach, cum dripping from it and onto his curls. After letting one of his knees go, he blindly searched for my hand, weaving his fingers with mine when he found it. "Babe, make love to me, take me."

With the granted permission, I gripped his hand and let my hips move naturally. No longer being forced to contain the need I had, I thrust wantonly. My other hand gripped his hip, keeping him to me as I moved against him. My cock slid in and out of him hard and fast as my breaths quickly became labored and shallow. I wanted…everything.

I wanted to go slow and enjoy his tight ass.

I wanted to lean down and kiss him.

I wanted to watch his face and my cock as it entered him over and over.

I wanted to be what he needed and deserved.

"Yeah, babe, that's it. Right there, fuck…oh my God, oh fuck," he said through staggered breaths. My pace faltered when I tried to hit his prostate again. "Never knew it could be like this…"

I was giving him something he'd never felt before, and he was sharing a piece of himself with me. My heart twisted in turmoil, a twinge of something pulling at it. Holding my hand, he brought it to his chest, placing it over his own heart, and I could feel it pounding beneath his ribs.

"It's yours," he whispered. Looking up at me with his stormy aqua eyes, he exposed everything to me, physically and emotionally. "Show me everything inside you, Jasper. Show me the most defenseless state you have. Let me see you come for me, in me."

Two more sharp, powerful thrusts deep into his ass and I felt the stirring in my groin. Low and sweet, it spread up my spine and out toward every nerve.

"Gonna come," I cried out. I kept my eyes on his, willing them to stay open and show him what he wanted to see, what I'd been hiding from everyone. The climax rolled through me, hitting in surges of euphoria as my cock exploded inside him. Collapsing onto him, I released his hand and I kissed him hard, our panting breaths meeting between our mouths as our lips met again and again while my cock emptied hot seed into the condom in powerful bursts. Feeling me come inside him, he groaned, lifting his hips to keep me in his ass. My hands were his hair, fisting what I could as my hips jerked and bucked with the last shots of my cum. Laying my forehead on his, I gasped for breath.

I felt everything; my cock twitching with the remnants of my orgasm, his hands twisting in my hair, his tongue swirling with mine…his love surrounding us both.

I also gave him everything I could, all except for one thing.

The piece of me that belonged to another.

Kissing along my jaw, he moaned. "You're so beautiful, Jasper. Especially beautiful when you come." Cupping my face in his hands, he lifted it, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. "I love you, Jasper," he whispered, gazing into my eyes.

I closed my eyes, letting the words gently wash over me, caressing every part of me in ways I'd never experienced before.

In my twenty years of life, it was the first time I'd ever heard them.

Trembling, I let him hold me, my heart swelling and warm in my chest while aching for another.

"Peter, I…I…" I stuttered.

"Ssshh," he murmured, brushing his lips over mine. "It's okay, Jasper, there's no rush. When you're ready."

That was my fear, that when and _if_ I was ever ready to say those words, he might not be the one to hear them.

He continued to kiss me, completely content with what we were. I should have known he would be. Peter never did or said anything he didn't mean or wasn't comfortable with. He never would have expressed his love for me if he didn't feel at peace with not hearing it in return.

Shifting my hips, my cock slid from his ass and I felt him tense, and then relax, at the loss. I laid on top of him, kissing and holding, hands grazing over cooling skin, enticing shivers and moans.

"Are you okay?" I asked him between kisses to his swollen lips.

"I'm wonderful," he smiled. "Let's go clean up and get some sleep. The horses won't wait in the morning."

"Ugh," I groaned as I lifted myself off him. "Don't you have hired hands for that?"

"I do, but I much rather watch your ass in the barn then theirs."

I headed for the shower, looking at him over my shoulder when I didn't hear him behind me. Sprawled across the bed, he was propped on an elbow watching me intently.

"You coming?"

"If I watch you prance around naked in those boots much longer I will definitely be coming…again."

Rolling my eyes, I blushed.

"I think you need to work in the barn just like that tomorrow. Nothin' but boots," he suggested as he climbed off the bed and joined me.

"In your dreams," I laughed. Pushing me into a chair, he tugged my boots off and then dragged me into the shower. Teasing each other with light caresses and wandering tongues on soapy, slippery bodies, we didn't just clean, we got fucking horny as hell. By the time he turned the water off almost an hour later, I was hard and begging for his cock.

"Please, sweetheart," I whined as I lay back on the bed, my bottom lip sticking out in an irresistible way.

"Don't give me that," he moaned as he stood at the end of the bed, stroking himself.

"Then give me that," I said, pointing to his cock.

"You want this?"

"Yes," I nodded definitively."I want it in my ass, please."

"Mmm, such a good boy, so polite. I love it when you talk like that," he growled, climbing onto the bed and up my body. My eyes followed every move he made, my body hummed with anticipation as he held himself over me. With his hands on either side of my shoulders, he stared down at me. "You want this?" he asked, dropping his hips onto me and sliding his cock along mine.

"Oh fuck, yes."

"Hands above your head, leave them there," he instructed just before his mouth fused to my nipple. My back arched off the bed and I groaned so loud his mother probably heard me. He continued to tease me with his mouth, tantalizing me with the tip of his tongue as he flicked it over my nipple before biting down hard. From there his mouth continued to lick and lap everywhere.

Everywhere except where I wanted him most. The frustration was maddening.

"Please, Peter," I begged, lifting my hips toward him. My hands remained above my head, fisting the pillow in frustration. I swear I was going to come without him ever touching my cock. Finally, he lay flush on me, his weight pressing me into the mattress. Rocking his hips against mine, he brought us right to the edge of our orgasms several times by using just the right amount of pressure. When we got too close, he backed off, only to return us seconds later. Every muscle in my body constricted, tightening so much I thought I might be sore the next day. Pressed between our bodies, my cock ached, engorged to the point of pain. Just as his lips met mine in a searing kiss, my phone rang.

It had been sitting on the table next to his bed since I had arrived.

Peter pulled his lips from mine and looked down at me. Keeping his eyes on mine, his cock sliding easily along my own, he reached toward the table. We laughed as his fingers fumbled for the phone, pressing buttons randomly.

"You can call them back when I'm done fucking you," he growled, punctuating it with one long roll of his hips.

"Harder, oh fuck," I grunted.

"You feel so good, so hot," he murmured. Running my hands down his back, I felt his muscles working as his body struggled to maintain control.

"I'm so close, you're gonna make me come, baby," I moaned, digging my nails into his back desperately as my mouth sought out his. Breathing heavy, I felt my entire body tense with my impending climax. When he shifted his weight, his cock rubbed firmly along mine, the sensation heightened by me need.

"Yeah, right there," I whispered.

He listened, and I came.

"I'm coming, baby," I screamed, my cock pouring cum between us as my body finally got the long sought after release it had been teased with.

"That's it, babe, keep coming for me," he groaned above me, his hips speeding up as he chased his own climax.

"Please, I need you," I whimpered. I didn't need to say anymore. A condom was on him in record time, his cock slathered in lube only a second before he was pushing into my ass. With strained breath, he pushed forward, his cock filling me. Cradled between my thighs, he lay on top of me, his mouth covering mine as he thoroughly fucked me in rolling powerful thrusts. Only seconds later, he was coming, his cock emptying inside me while his body gave way to his orgasm.

"Fuck, babe, amazing," he sighed, falling on top of me. My hands ran through his damp hair while I kissed the sweat off his forehead.

"We sure are getting a workout tonight," I chuckled as my hands skimmed over the muscles gliding under his skin as his hips stuttered with the last of his orgasm. Snaking a hand between us, he pulled out and yanked the used condom off. Sliding to the edge of the bed, he grabbed our towel from earlier and wiped my abdomen.

"Fuck, I'll say," he agreed before falling next to me. With his arm slung over my middle and his head on my chest, his eyes drifted closed. "Babe?"

"Mmm?"

"Love you."

Kissing the top of his head, I snuggled him closer. "I know."

"_Strip, they're going to be here any second," Ian told me as he opened the bathroom door and peeked around the corner. It was Sunday during weekly service. Ian had snuck me out the back of the chapel and into the only locking bathroom in the Home. I hesitated, wanting to delay the inevitable as long as possible. When he turned around and saw me standing there completely dressed, he held up his fist. _

"_Do you want me to beat the shit out of you again?"_

_My ribs and nose ached at the memory of the last time I didn't do what he told me to. _

"_I said take your fucking clothes off, slut." _

_Looking down at the dirty tiled floor, I unbuttoned my jeans and let them fall around my ankles. I was naked underneath them, having skipped the underwear I knew would be coming off anyway. When I went to reach for the hem of my shirt, I paused. _

"_Can I leave my shirt on? The floor is dirty."_

"_No, fucking take it all off. I want them jealous when they see the ass I fuck."_

"_Gonna see a lot more than my ass," I snorted under my breath._

"_What'd you say?"_

"_Nothing."_

_Ian claimed this was a rite of passage, although I didn't believe him. I couldn't imagine anyone doing this willingly. I was fourteen, he'd been fucking me for nearly two years and I still fucking hated it. _

"_You better fucking enjoy it too, I want you jerk off and come. If you don't, I'm going to let them all fuck you too, got it?" He glared at me with cold, beady eyes and I nodded. _

"_Oh, they're coming," he said excitedly. Holding the door open, he let four other boys into the bathroom before closing the door and locking it behind them. The boys were laughing and joking, eager for a show, only quieting down when they saw me half naked in front of the row of sinks. _

_When I still hadn't taken off my shirt, Ian walked over and roughly ripped it over my head, leaving me naked and shivering. _

"_Gather around, boys, get a good view." He put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me hard to my knees before undoing his jeans and pulled them down over his ass. "Suck me, faggot." _

_Without a glance at our audience, I leaned forward and took his cock into my mouth. Sucking and slurping loudly, just how I knew he liked it. _

"_Fuck," he moaned. The boys gathered tighter around us and I vaguely heard zippers being lowered. _

"_Pretty fucking hot. How's he do?" one named Barry asked._

"_Sucks so fucking hard, like a motherfucking vacuum," Ian boasted, his fingers curling into my hair so he could hold me still while he fucked my mouth. _

"_We should call him Hoover," one asshole chuckled._

_Ian's head fell back onto his shoulders as his hips moved frantically, gliding his dick in and out of me. My lips were chapped, flakes of skin peeling off them, but he didn't seem to care as long as I sucked hard enough. _

"_Make him take it deep." _

_Ian listened and drove his cock deep into my throat without warning, stabbing the back of it hard. When I gagged, he just thrust harder. Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling over as I tried to control my reflex. _

"_Take my cock, whore, take it all," he growled insistently. _

"_Guess your cock is too big for him," someone hissed through a staggered breath. They were all tugging on their cocks, unabashed at being exposed to each other. _

_When Ian felt he was getting close, he whipped his dick from my mouth and shoved me backwards. I lay back on the tile, naked before them all. _

"_Get ready, boys, here's the good shit. Gonna fuck his ass hard," he said proudly. _

_Ian reached down and yanked my pants off my feet before lifting my legs. Holding them up and out under my knees, he spread me wide, exposing my most private of areas to everyone. Glancing at the pimpled faces of the other boys, he gave them a confident smile before he forcefully thrust his cock into my ass. Grimacing at the burn, I tensed my body, breathing through the pain as he savagely ripped me in two. _

"_Oh yeah, fuck him hard," someone coaxed. _

_My hands were fisted uselessly by my side while Ian took me. If I had looked up, I know I would have seen bliss on the faces of the boys as they watched their live porn show. Ian was fucking me hard, trying to impress them with his abilities. Everything in me ached, but I ignored it, I had to in order to survive until next time. _

_Unlike when he fucked me at night on my cot, there in the bathroom he was free__ to fuck me at will. Instead of limited movements, he was able to wantonly thrust into me, moving my body along the pebbled tile, the dirt and grime scratching at my back. _

"_Fuck, so tight," he groaned loudly. _

_Normally, he would have had to muffle his sounds by biting my shoulder, but there I could see the tendons in his neck strain as he fought for control in front of his friends. I preferred being taken on the cot, at least then I couldn't see his face, and even though I could hear the moans of others doing the same, it was more private than being fucked in front of four other kids. Usually at night he never lasted more than ten minutes, always rushing in case someone heard us or came in. He was in no rush in the bathroom, enjoying the attention the boys were giving him, encouraging him with moans and groans. Each one of them had their cock in their hands, stroking steadily, their slim hips fucking their own fists. _

"_This whore loves it when I fuck his ass, don't you?" Ian snarled. When I didn't immediately reply, he dug his nails into my flesh and I cried out. "Answer me, fucking queer."_

"_I love it when you fuck me," I said quietly. _

"_Look at him, boys. Fucking slut letting me fuck his ass in front of you. He wants it all the fucking time. He loves my cock."_

_When I looked above me, I could see the faces of the boys, along with their cocks as they stroked them. I felt ashamed as they stared at my naked body, at my ass getting fucked and used for their entertainment._

"_Yeah, fuck him harder, Ian," someone cheered. Ian did as requested, his hips slamming into me like a jackhammer. My legs ached with the uncomfortable position and my ass burned as he continued to roughly thrust into me. _

"_Jerk off," Ian snarled at me. Eyeing him, I took my limp cock in my hand and began to stroke it. _

"_Harder, bitch," someone moaned. _

"_You better fucking come," Ian hissed at me. _

_I'd never come when he fucked me, I never even got hard. _

_I knew he'd beat me if I didn't come, I knew later that night not only would he fuck me again, but afterward he'd kick the shit out of me as well. I'd barely healed from the last time. Closing my eyes, I withdrew my mind from my body. I ignored the boys around me, the sounds of their skin rubbing skin as they all jerked themselves off. _

_I dreamed of a place far away, of green grass and flowers instead of dirt and cactuses, someplace where I felt safe and warm, I felt a solid arm around me, holding me close and tight while words of love were whispered in my ear. In my imagination, I saw dark hair and green eyes that shined only for me. _

"_Fuck, yeah, that's it, faster," someone said in the distance. _

_The pace of my hand quickened and I realized I was actually getting hard. The faster I pumped myself, the quicker I'd come and the nightmare would be over. I focused on the boy in my head. I could almost feel him around me, his presence warm and accepting. Beyond the sounds of the groans echoing in the bathroom, I heard the murmurs of another, telling me that I was safe and loved and respected before he kissed me softly. I knew I'd never find such a person in real life, but he was there for me in my dreams. Dreams where he would just hold me and kiss me, run his fingers through my hair while he murmured his devotion. _

_Tugging erratically on my cock, I felt a slight pressure build in my balls, pulling them close to my body as a weak sensation began to spread. Ian had released my legs, letting them fall to cold floor. He gripped my hips instead, holding them steady as he continued to thrust between my legs. My cock twitched in my hand as small, thin streams of cum shot from the head. _

"_Yeah, he's coming, look at that cum."_

"_Fucking hot."_

_Whimpering through my climax, I tugged on my cock a few more times before letting it fall against me. _

"_Fuck, his hole is so tight around me," Ian grunted. "Going to fucking come," Ian cried out and two thrusts later, he did just that. Holding his cock deep in me, he shot his load in my ass, pumping his hips until his cock emptied. He grunted and moaned until he sat back. He let his cock slip from my used hole, and I felt his warm cum run down my ass. _

"_Fuck, look at that."_

_The room was filled with labored, heavy breaths and the stench of their arousal. They had watched me jerk off while I was raped, and they watched each other as they brought themselves closer. _

"_Oh, fuck, yeah," one of them moaned. _

"_Fucking come on him guys, shoot your loads on him," Ian instructed them. I clenched my eyes, not wanting to see them mark me, not wanting to see their cum before it landed on me. _

_Around me, I heard grunting, and one by one the boys came, their hips thrusting into their hands, their backs arching as their orgasms hit. Their cocks emptied onto me, cum landing on my face, chest and stomach. _

_I lay there, humiliated with their cum over me. One by one, they caught their breath and put themselves back into their pants. Ian stood up and wiped his dick off before putting his pants back on. _

"_See you tonight, bitch," he smirked as he ushered the boys from the room. _

_Alone, I lay on the bathroom floor, covered in cum and feeling it seep from my ass along with the tears that fell from my eyes. My mind flashed to the image of the boy, the one who promised me forever, and I sobbed when I realized that it would never happen. _

_Who would ever want a whore?_

I jumped, my heart thundering, heated blood rushing through my veins.

"Jasper? It's okay, babe, it's okay, I'm here," he murmured from behind me, his lips at my ear as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I felt the warmth and acceptance I had imagined, it surrounded me as he pressed his body to mine. Never even opening my eyes, I sank into him, letting him envelope me.

He felt so good, so safe.

Sighing, I tangled my fingers with his hand resting on my stomach.

"Nightmare?" he whispered in the dark and I nodded. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. I'm sorry I brought you back here, forced those bad memories on you. I never would have if I'd known."

"I know," I choked out. "It's not just here; I have them at home too."

"Do you want to tell me about it? Is it James?"

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes again. The more he spoke, the longer I felt his skin against mine, the more my heart slowed, finally returning to a normal pace.

"Okay, I understand, but if you change your mind, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere," he promised. Pushing my curls aside with his nose, he kissed the nape of my neck, leaving his lips there for a long moment. Something inside me stirred, a twinge of something similar to the pull, like a weaker version of it.

"Peter?"

"Hmmm?"

I hesitated, suddenly unsure what I wanted to say.

"Thank you," I whispered, "for…"

_Keeping me safe, understanding me, accepting me…loving me._

"Everything."

I felt his lips curve into a smile against my neck. "You're welcome, Jasper. Try to get some sleep, I promise I'll keep you safe."

Seconds later, I was doing exactly what he asked, my mind drifting to a bright future of possibilities instead of a dark hell of my past. The entire time I slept, I felt protected, watched over. The boy that had imagined someone to care for him had found just that.

When I woke me up a few hours later, he was still holding me, his arms around me, his legs entwined with mine. He had kept my demons at bay, and I felt rested and even more at peace.

"You awake?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Mmmm."

"I'm going to get up and go do the horses, why don't you sleep in. I'll wake you up in a few hours for breakfast," he said through a yawn. Just then I heard sounds in the kitchen downstairs and the front door opening and closing. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Nodding, I turned my head for a kiss. His lips were soft and smooth. Pulling away with a groan, he got up and headed for the bathroom. I noticed a slight hobble to his step. As my eyes drifted closed again, I could heard the water running and him moving around the room as he got dressed, then after one last kiss to my forehead, the bedroom door clicked closed.

Sighing, I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. The bed felt empty, cold.

I wanted to be where he was.

I climbed off and went to my suitcase. Opening it, I pulled Teddy out and kissed his nose before stuffing him back in. Next, I picked up the watch, watching the second hand tick around the face. Flipping it over, I read the engraving, running a finger along the words, mouthing them to myself. The pull gripped my heart, twisting it until I felt my breaths grow shallow. I yearned to put it on, to feel the weight against my wrist, but I was going out to help Peter in the barn. Placing the watch next to Teddy, I covered them both, and then grabbed clothes to wear, dressing quickly before brushing my teeth and heading downstairs.

"G'morning, Jasper," Caroline greeted from the kitchen when I walked through the living room.

"Mornin', ma'am."

"Coffee?"

"Has Peter had some?"

"No, not yet. He was running late, said he had a hard time leaving bed, didn't want to wait for it to finish."

"Then two please," I smiled. She grabbed two mugs and poured the coffee.

"He's very taken with you. You know that, right?"

I lowered my eyes, uncomfortable talking about Peter to anyone, especially his mother.

"Yes, ma'am," I mumbled shyly.

"You're good for him, Jasper. It's been too long since I've seen him interested in anything besides work."

"He works hard."

"Yes, he does, too hard sometimes. He's just like his father," she smiled fondly as she slid the mugs to me. "Two coffees to go."

"Thanks, ma'am." I returned her smile and took the mugs. The horses nickered when I entered the barn, a few even raising their heads from their food as I walked down the aisle looking for Peter.

"Hey," he called out from above me. Turning, I looked up and saw him in the hayloft.

"Coffee?" I held up his mug. "Nice and hot."

"Just how I like everything," he winked. "Come on up."

When I reached the loft, he was tossing hay over the edge. The early heat had already made him sweaty and I admired his clinging tee shirt.

"Hey."

"Hey, come here." He crooked a finger at me. Ignoring the coffee I held out to him, he scooped an arm around my waist and pulled me to his sweaty body. "Kiss me, boy," he grinned just before his lips brushed over mine, teasing me before dipping his tongue between my parting lips. I held the steaming mugs away from us as our tongues swept over each other's.

"Mmmm, you taste like coffee," he said, pulling back.

"That's because I needed the caffeine walking over here," I admitted. Taking a long sip, he hummed in pleasure. "Good?"

"I needed this, thank you, babe." He set it down on a railing. "Not that I'm complaining, but why are you out there? I told you to stay in bed."

Shrugging, I sipped my coffee. "I didn't want you to be out here alone."

"So sweet," he winked. "Since you're here, why don't you start letting the horses out?"

We worked the rest of the morning, our routine similar to the day before. Once the work in the barn was done, we moved to the cattle barn where he taught me how to tag the cattle. We chatted the entire time, about the ranch and Seattle. Our conversations were light and teasing. It was late morning before we headed inside for breakfast, joining everyone at the table where the conversations continued. The ranch workers gave Peter a hard time for being a part time worker, and how he better come back in a few months for their annual party.

"Yeah, and bring Jasper," another commented. Peter smiled and looked at me.

"I'll try," he replied.

"So, Jasper, tell us, is Peter the same workaholic in Seattle as here?" one of the workers asked me. Glancing at Peter for permission, I nodded.

"Very much so. He works very hard."

"He's being polite," Peter chimed in. "I used to leave him in bed to go work, but lately, I've been taking the time to enjoy him."

Looking down, I felt my cheeks heat up under the chuckles.

"Well, he's a handsome boy, who would want to leave that in bed?" his mother asked.

"Mmm," Peter agreed. "I have an especially hard time leaving his-"

"Peter," she scolded.

"Warmth, Mama," Peter laughed. "Speaking of, I am going to take that fine…warmth upstairs to shower with. We've got a flight to catch."

After a round of good-byes, Peter stood and held out his hand. I took it, letting him lead me from the table and upstairs. After he closed the bedroom door, he pushed me against it, his body flush with mine as his lips kissed along my jaw.

"We don't have much time, the limo will be here in an hour. Come shower with me, Jasper, I need you one last time before we go."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I moaned when he moved his lips to my ear.

"I need you too."

We undressed quickly, leaving clothes scattered on the floor. After a pit stop by the table for the lube and a condom, we were in the shower and under the spray of hot water. When I dropped to my knees and took his cock into my mouth, the moan he released echoed off the shower walls.

"They'll hear you," I warned, looking up at him. The water ran down his face, neck and chest, traveling along the defined muscles. Licking along his cock, I swirled my tongue around him.

"I don't care if they hear the pleasure you bring me, babe," he said as he pushed my hair back off my face. "Though it might make them jealous. Touch yourself while you suck me."

Grinning, I took his cock between my lips and my own in my hand, stroking languidly. My head bobbed up and down his cock, his hips moving steadily into me. When he felt himself getting to close, he withdrew and pulled me up, kissing me hard and deep. Not wanting to wait any longer, I broke the kiss and took his hand and poured lube on his fingers. After a long kiss, I turned around and braced my hands against the tiled wall. Hot, slick fingers slid between my crack, easily slipping into my hole, pumping them in and out. When I began to moan and shamelessly push my ass toward him, he removed his fingers, replacing them with the head of his cock.

"Ready, babe?" he mumbled against my wet skin as he kissed along my shoulders.

"Yeah," I sighed. One of his arms snaked around my waist for support, his other hand splayed on my chest, holding me to him as his cock entered me in one long, slow thrust. He wasted no time seeking out my gland, running his cock along it each time, quickly bringing my climax to me. Letting him hold me, I reached for my cock, pumping it in time with the movement of his hips.

"That's it, babe, touch yourself, come for me," he coaxed. The steam circled around us, the hot water ran down my body, but all I felt was his cock in me and his hands on me. Grunting loudly behind me, his breaths were heavy on my wet skin as his hips bucked up into me. Inside me, I felt the bolts of ecstasy on each thrust and my body weakened further. Without warning, my orgasm hit me, crashing over me, not even leaving me time to warn him. He felt me tense, the spasms of my ass around his dick and he stilled for a second.

"That's it, let it go, come on, Jasper," he groaned. My cock barely twitched before it was releasing over the shower wall, spraying cum in streams as it jerked and pulsed in my hand. Immediately, my entire body felt spent, the power of the climax overwhelming.

"Jesus," I moaned as Peter resumed fucking me, his thick cock filling me. It was my turn to coax him, bring him to those heights he'd given me. "Come for me, sweetheart. Give me your cum."

Turning my head, I weaved an arm around his neck and pulled him to me for a kiss, running my tongue along his lips before plunging between them while his body used mine.

"Jasper," he roared, his cock shooting into the condom as his hips ground into my ass, keeping him deep inside me.

If the people downstairs didn't know we were fucking before, they sure knew then.

Slipping his cock from me, he spun me in his arms, his lips crashing onto mine. We stayed under the water as long as we could, rinsing our sex off before getting out and drying off. After putting on my jeans, I pulled my new boots on.

"Something about those boots, babe, so fucking hot on you," he purred while he tugged on his own boots.

With little time to spare we finished packing and were downstairs.

"Mama, time for us to go," Peter announced when the car pulled up. He carried our bags out and then came back to the porch.

"You take care of him for me, Jasper. Don't let him work too hard, you hear?"

"Yes, ma'am." She reached up and hugged me, kissing my cheek. "Thank you for everything. I had a wonderful time."

"You're welcome here anytime," she smiled. Turning, she took Peter into her arms.

"Come back soon, baby boy," she told him.

"I will, Mama."

"He's a good boy," she whispered loud enough for me to hear her. "Keep him."

Smiling at me over her shoulder, he promised, "I plan too, Mama. If he'll let me."

One more goodbye later and we were sitting in the back of the limo on the way to the airport. My head rested on his shoulder as the town passed by outside. His hand was covering mine on my thigh, and I felt his fingers skim along the band of Edward's watch. Sighing heavily, he slid his fingers down to mine and tangled them together.

We rode the rest of the way in silence.

At the airport, he checked our bags again, and while I was still very uncomfortable when my bag passed through the small door, I smiled to myself. Shifting my duffle bag on my shoulder, I patted the bulge on the side and felt better knowing Teddy would be on the plane with me. We passed through security and Peter led us to the place where we had to wait to get on the plane.

Everywhere around us people rushed, some even running to get to wherever they had to go. Peter's hand never left mine while we waited. He even unashamedly leaned in for a few kisses. It wasn't long before we boarded. Peter let me have the window seat again. My hand clutched his as the plane began down the runway.

"You're okay, I'm here," he repeated when I began tensing as the front of the plane lifted off the ground. Once we were in the air, I loosened my grip, giving him an apologetic smile when I saw the nail marks on his hand.

"Fucking strong," he laughed, rubbing it. A woman took our order and gave Peter a very appreciative look.

"She apparently doesn't care that you bat for the other team," I mused, glancing down at our hands.

He shrugged with a smile. "She's just appreciating me like an alcoholic does a fine wine, looking but no touching." He stretched his long legs out in front of him. "Have you ever been with a woman?"

"Yes."

"Oh?"

"For work, not by choice," I explained. "I don't mind it really. It can be kind of nice."

"Ew, they're so…soft," Peter laughed, shuddering. "Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?"

"I bet I can make you laugh with just one word," he challenged.

Just those words alone had me chuckling. "How?"

"Cockpit."

He was right. Laughter rolled through me until tears were streaming down my face. When the person in the seat across from us looked over, Peter lifted his hand to his mouth, motioning to them that I'd had too much to drink. It only made me laugh harder.

Unlike the flight down there, we spent the trip home just talking and holding. The armrest was up between us and I curled into him, using his arm around me to rest my head against. He was warm and solid. I even slept for awhile, letting him keep my nightmares away. The plane landed far sooner than I expected, and before I knew it, we were on our way to pick up our bags.

Peter walked with me outside and helped me find Aro in the maze of waiting cars. Aro waved and smiled as we approached, opening the trunk for my bag. When he reached for my duffle, I told him I'd keep it with me. He nodded and said he'd wait in the car.

"Will I see you soon?" I asked Peter. He gave me a smile and put his hands on my hips, pulling them to his. I put my arms around his neck, letting my hips slightly grind him and running my fingers through his short hair.

"Yes, probably the end of the week if that's okay."

"Perfect."

"Jasper, promise me that if things go south with James, you will call me. You've got my number."

"I promise, Peter."

"I respect you wanting to handle it yourself, but if you need me…"

"If I need you, I will call. I swear."

The words had barely left my mouth and his lips were on mine. His fingers fisted my dress shirt right above my pants while our tongues gently entwined. It was a soft, lingering kiss. When we parted, he sighed.

"You better go, your driver is waiting. I'll see you at the end of the week. Oh, and Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Wear the boots and the hat…only the boots and hat."

"Deal. Thank you for taking me home with you."

"I'm sor-" he began to apologize again, but I stopped him with a finger to his lips and a shake of my head. He nodded and then smiled. "Thank you for coming," he put his lips at my ear, "and coming, and coming…"

Laughing, I shook my head and gave him one last kiss. Finally, he let me go and I turned for the car, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back into a hug.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear.

The words were just as powerful as they had been the first time, they hadn't weakened, and neither did the feeling of it coming from him. If anything, it had grown stronger. Biting my lip, I looked into his eyes and found them swimming in contentment and happiness.

"Take care, sweetheart," I whispered back.

"Someday, Jasper, someday…." He smiled at me as I got into the car.

Someday didn't scare me, what did was that he might be right.

I waved as the car pulled away from the curb, turning to watch Peter wave back with a smile. Once he was out of my sight, I turned forward and unzipped my bag. I pulled Teddy out and put him on my lap, my fingers stroking his furry body the entire car ride home.

"**~~**"

"Fuck," I sighed after glancing at Edward's watch for at least the twelve time in five minutes. It was long past eight, in fact, it was nearing midnight and I still hadn't heard from Riley.

I had arrived home about seven, unpacked and ate a quick dinner. Eight o'clock came and went and Riley never showed up.

"Fuck," I said louder as I stood up, my boots clacking on the wood floor as I paced around the living room. "God damn it," I growled. I had even tried to call Edward to see if he'd seen Riley while I was gone, but there was no answer. After leaving a message, I hung up and made a note to buy Riley a cell phone.

With no choice, I grabbed my leather jacket and keys. The night air felt chilly, my body had quickly adjusted back to the Texas heat. Zipping up the jacket, I put my hands in my pocket, my fingers wrapping around the cold steel of the blade. I caught a cab and gave the address of the docks. The driver pulled up to the curb and I tossed him a twenty and got out. With long strides, I reached Riley's building and went inside. It was empty except for the few addicts shooting up on the second floor and the hooker fucking her john on the stairway. I burst through the doorway of Riley's room, my eyes scanning it in the dark.

It was empty.

"Fuck," I snarled before turning and running down the stairs. When I turned the corner outside, I ran into someone. He bounced off me, losing their balance and almost falling.

"Ricky?"

"Oh, hey Blondie, long time no see," he smiled at me, his half lidded eyes blood shot.

"Have you seen Rile?"

"Um…Riley?" He swayed, letting himself fall against the building. "Riley," he repeated.

Frustrated, I took a deep breath. Fucking addicts.

"Have you seen him, Rick? It's important?"

"I saw him the other day, he was sporting some new clothes. Had on a nice, new coat. He was doing a fashions show for us."

"Have you seen him tonight?" I clarified.

"I saw Jenny."

"I don't give a fuck about Jenny. Have you see Riley?"

His eyes closed and his head fell forward. I grabbed his sweatshirt and shook him. The strong stench of drugs and body odor emanating off him almost made me gag.

"Stay with me, Ricky, tell me where Riley is."

His eyes barely opened, his voice was scratchy. "I saw him on 4th earlier tonight. He had just got done with a john, but was getting into another car with one of James's goons. Said he had an errand to run for James."

My heart skipped about ten beats.

"Are you sure it was Riley?" I shook him again, banging his head against the bricks behind him.

"Hey, man, calm down."

"Are you sure it was Riley?" I repeated.

"Positive, Blondie."

"What time was it at? Have you seen him since?"

"Fuck, I don't know."

"Think!"

"About six, I guess," he shrugged.

Fucking six hours ago.

"Did he say where he was going?"

"Nope, just an 'errand'," he answered. I let him go, his body tilting to the side without my support. "Hey man, you got some smokes on ya? I could sure use some."

Sighing, I pulled a twenty from my pocket. "Here, take this."

"Wow, thanks, Blondie."

"If you see Rile, can you tell him I'm looking for him?"

"Is he late for a date?" he joked.

"Just tell him."

"Okay, okay. Fucking lighten up, Blondie. Stress isn't good for ya."

I turned and headed back to the streets, my eyes habitually scanning the shadows as I passed by the buildings. Turning down the sidewalk, I made my way to 4th street, looking everywhere for Riley. I asked everyone I knew, but no one had seen him since he got into the car. Ignoring the other whores littering the sides of the alley Riley usually fucked in, I walked down it, looking everywhere. At the end, I turned around and headed back toward the street. Just as I was about to step back out onto the sidewalk, something caught my eye behind a dumpster. Jogging over to it, I bent over and picked it up.

Armani.

Clenching it tightly, I looked down the alley again, darkness enveloping everything and everyone in it, only their grunts let me know they were there.

"Where the fuck are you?" I murmured. Guilt stirred in my stomach. I should have never left him on the streets alone. Standing on the sidewalk, I held his coat in one hand and looked around. When my eyes landed across the street, I saw James watching me. Glaring at him, the fingers of my other hand clutched the switchblade in my pocket.

He tipped his head toward me, his thin lips curling up into an evil smile. Lifting his hand, he rubbed his thumb and fingers together, motioning for money right before he menacingly dragged a finger across his throat.

A shiver went down my spine.

"Oh God no… Riley…" I whispered to no one.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

*exhales*

I received a rather interesting review demanding an update. They were anonymous so I was unable to reply but to that person and others, we try very hard to update every other weekend (usually Saturday). As I said above, this chapter alone took me 9 hrs to edit before I sent it to beta (because I tear apart every sentence, just ask Dannie, I drive her nuts.) That 9hrs is editing ONLY, it's not the many, many nights it took to write it, or the time that our beta puts in to reading 19k. We put aside our lives when we write, hell, Dannie even writes longhand then types it on her blackberry to get it to me…that is devoted. For months now we have been successful in maintaining a regular posting schedule, and we are one of the few slash stories that does update regularly. If that isn't fast or good enough for you, then I suggest you find someone else to read. Also, I do discuss the story, the characters (as well as WN) and post teasers while waiting for an update ( I posted 3 teasers for this chapter) on the Twilight thread.

So…need to vent? Rant? Yell at me about not updating quick enough? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674

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	23. Crash

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- I think I can safely speak for Dannie when I say this was by far the hardest chapter of M&A to write to date. There were time constraints and lack of computer for Dannie, and then once I started working on it, Edward got chatty (what?). We spent forever on the phone, going back and forth on how to approach it. *bites nails* As you all know, this is a big chapter….

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this, she got it at the last minute and still turned it around quickly.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

I didn't want to do it.

I didn't want to let him go.

I wanted to grab his wrist, beg him to stay with me, choose me, not work, not _him_.

After postponing a meeting, I had taken a cab to Jasper's, barely getting inside his door before I was stripping my clothes off. His were soon joining mine on the floor as we made our way to his room. We made love, slowly and tenderly and sensually with hands seeking each other out, lips leaving behind wishes of more time. Each second that ticked by us was one less we had together.

Desperate to hold him one last time, I kissed him. Right there on a public street in the middle of the day, I lifted my head until my lips met his in a soft, lingering kiss. His body told me everything I longed to hear. His lips on mine told me he cared for me, his hand possessively on my lower back told me he would be thinking of me, his wanton moan when I wrapped my hand around his neck told me he needed me.

_Me_. Not him.

He'd told me he would be thinking about me and I didn't doubt him. I knew I seeped into his conscious thoughts as many times a day as he did into mine. When I pulled away, completely unaware of the crowds walking by or whether or not they noticed our public and physical parting, I murmured one final goodbye. My fingers wandered along the bruise I'd marked him with and I couldn't help but be satisfied in knowing that_ he_ would see it. My fingers traveled down Jasper's arm, grazing over the face of the watch I had given him.

His reaction to the watch had been exactly as I'd hoped for. My heart had skipped a beat when he had assumed the green was because of my eyes. Then he called me his home and my heart actually stopped, literally pausing while those words had sunk in.

_His home_.

He'd let me into his house and was slowly letting me into his past. I knew it pained him, leaving him open and raw, every time he exposed more of it, but I valued it more than I could express to him. By giving him Teddy, I was trying to thank him for trusting me with his past, to let him know I treasured his faith in me and would not let him down. The look of boyish sadness that marred his beautiful face when he held the bear in his lap made me realize there was more to his past than he'd dared to tell me. Sitting naked on his bed, I saw Jasper the boy, the one that had lost his childhood friend and was now reunited with it after many years.

Later, after he'd packed and his bags were by the door, I had to run back into his room to grab my cell phone and I noticed Teddy was nowhere to be found.

He'd packed him.

When I returned to him, I brushed the backs of my fingers down his cheek and he raised an eyebrow. I just shook my head and kissed him.

On the street, after the kiss and whispered goodbyes, I had asked him what was most on my mind, what I feared above all else.

"You promise to return to me?" I had asked quietly.

"Promise," he'd vowed just as quietly.

I had returned his sad smile with one of my own, silently wondering if he could see my heart breaking at his feet, crumbling into small pieces that only he could pick up and put back together again.

In the end, even with my heart aching with a sharp pain that stole my breath, I had to let him go.

Standing on a crowded street in the middle of the day, I watched him pull away from me, a deep crack forming in my heart with each foot of distance that he put between us, distance that was putting him in the arms of another man for the entire weekend. Three days had never seemed like a long time before, but just then it felt like a lifetime.

I'd never felt the level of anguish I felt in that moment and that was when I knew.

I was in love with him.

I was deeply and irrevocably in love with Jasper.

And he'd just left me to be with another man.

The realization hit me when I was so distraught over him leaving that I barely acknowledged it as I watched until his car faded into a sea of vehicles. Feeling like the ground was shifting underneath me, I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. The edges of my vision blurred as the world around me faded, my eyes only seeing blond curls and an easy smile. Swaying, I bent at the waist and braced my palms on my knees, drawing in ragged breaths through my tight throat as I tried to regain my balance. Clenching my eyes shut, I fought back the waves of nausea that hit me forcefully, churning the pit of my stomach painfully.

Why had he left me, was his job so important, did it come so naturally to him that he could push aside what we had to please another man? I could give him anything he wanted or needed, any amount of money he would have received from his work. I could take care of him, cherish him, provide for him. Was I not enough? Would I ever be? Was it that he needed to be fucked?

Doubled over in agony, I wrapped an arm around my middle.

"Come back," I whispered hoarsely to the cement beneath me. Overwhelmed with irrational questions and pain, my body proceeded to heave, shaking in a dry sob as I tried to hold back the tears.

A small hand on my back startled me from my thoughts.

"Excuse me, young man. Are you alright?"

When I pulled myself upright, I was staring at a feeble old woman, concern written all over her worn and wrinkled face.

I cleared my throat. "Yes...yes, I'm fine, thank you. Just a touch of the flu, I think." I forced myself to look reassuring.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. "That's why I get my flu shot every year." She patted her arm proudly and I had to bite back a comment about how her beloved flu shot was really just a placebo to make companies like mine money. "Have yourself seen about, dear."

"Yes, ma'am. I will. Thank you."

Satisfied with my answer, she gave me a grandmotherly smile and hobbled away. Taking a deep breath, I ignored the tightness in my chest and took an experimental step, testing my equilibrium. I breathed a sigh of relief when I found myself steady and started walking down the street, unsure of where I was even heading.

I knew I needed to push away my emotions and go back to work, back to living my half life for another day. It was already late in the afternoon, I'd only have a few hours before I'd have the entire weekend to stay in my hotel room, keep myself drunk and wallow away in my misery. Whistling, I hailed a cab and went back to the office, hoping I could cover my bleeding heart and broken soul just long enough to get through the rest of the day.

In the cab, I rested my head against the seat and stared blankly out the window as we moved past the buildings and people.

People living their lives.

People in love.

I now had a title for the ache I felt when the miles separated us, the rush I felt when we were reunited, the calm I felt when we were together, just holding each other. I knew realizing I was in love with Jasper should have been a heartwarming a-ha moment, one that I should have been reveling in, but then it just caused pain. The moment of realizing it tarnished by his absence, a moment of pure honesty ruined.

I wanted to be in his arms more than anything right then, I wanted to feel his silky hair, see his dimpled smile, I wanted to share my revelation with him.

I wanted to tell him I loved him.

Then I wanted to show him again and again.

"Sir? We're here," the driver said when I apparently I hadn't moved quickly enough. Throwing a twenty at him, I opened the door and got out. Reluctantly, I strode through the lobby, ignoring the 'Hello, Mr. Cullens' and went right to the elevators. When I turned and the gold doors closed, I gasped.

Shaggy blond hair and a wide smile greeted me in a blurry vision.

Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. Opening them, I saw the image had merged into a naked Jasper pressed against the back wall, his legs wrapped tightly around the waist of a strong man while the man eagerly thrust into my love's ass.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. Squeezing my eyes, I rubbed my temples and exhaled. The door dinged and I was practically run over. Exiting, I turned left and headed down the hall to my temporary office. It was sparsely furnished; a desk, few chairs and a computer were all I needed.

I had also insisted on a corner office with a view.

Before I'd even made it half way to my office, Daniel ran up behind me.

"Cullen," he said as he put a hand on my shoulder to stop me. "Where were you this morning?"

"What do you mean?"

"The meeting? We were going to finalize the announcement?"

"I postponed that meeting until four this afternoon," I replied, completely confused.

"Umm, no you didn't. It was at nine this morning."

"No, that's not possible. I called Susan about seven and postponed it. She said she would take care of letting everyone know."

"Well, apparently she didn't."

"Fuck," I growled. "Fucking people not doing their fucking jobs should be fired."

"Whoa, calm down. It's not that big a deal. It's not like it was a vital meeting, a few months ago we would have done it without you. We were perfectly capable of running the company you know."

I sighed and nodded, realizing I was overreacting to everything.

"We finalized what we wanted to say, all you need to do it approve it. If it works for you, then it's good to go."

"Fine," I snapped. "Bring it by my office."

"Sure," he said hesitantly and then turned to leave but stopped. "You okay, Edward?"

Sighing, I clenched my eyes for a second. "Yeah, just a fucking long day."

"I know that feeling," he said with sympathy before leaving.

I held up my hand when one of my assistants approached. "Not now," I scowled and then opened my office door. Closing it, I went directly to the window, looking out at the sky. In the distance, I saw an airplane as it ascended. Putting my hand on the glass, I reached for him.

"I love you," I whispered, hoping that by some small miracle, he heard me.

In my pocket, my phone rang. Quickly, I grabbed it, hoping it was Jasper telling me goodbye one last time and feeling insanely disappointed when I saw it wasn't.

With a weary sigh, I accepted the call. "Yes, Bella?"

"Well, hello to you, too, Edward," she sighed.

I wasn't in the mood to deal with the bullshit. I was ready for my fucking day to be over so I could go back to my hotel and sulk and her attitude was not helping.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Bella," I snapped. "How are you? Having a good day? Because mine has been fucking peachy."

After a long pause, she spoke quietly. "You know, Edward, I understand that I'm your employee, but I also thought we were friends. So as your friend, I'm going to tell you that you can either talk to me about what has been going on with you or you can fuck off until you get the stick out of your ass. As your assistant, I'm telling you that ULM called and has inquired about setting up a short session with you to train some of their top reps in the basics of a merger. I told them that I'd have you call them. I've already emailed you the number."

Feeling horribly guilty for my actions, I quickly tried to back pedal. "Bella, look, I didn't mean-"

"That's not the point," she interrupted. "You did and that's enough. I'm here for you, Edward. I always have been, but not as a punching bag."

She didn't even let me respond before she disconnected the call.

Bella was one of my closest friends and I had taken my frustrations out on her, effectively hurting her. Then again, it wasn't like I could have vented to her. Bella had no clue about my sexuality and I needed to keep it that way. She was too close, always in constant contact with one or both of my parents, not to mention the other board members. For her to know was just too risky.

Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I sighed.

Missed meetings, snapping at Bella…how much more was I going to fuck up the day?

With my head hung low and my heart heavy, I went to my desk and fell into my chair, resigned to at least get a few hours of work done. If nothing else it would serve as a distraction. Booting up my computer, I opened my emails and began to respond.

I spent the next hour on the phone, answering emails and going over the reports I'd requested. As the day went on, I grew more and more irritable, frustrated at the small things, like my computer not uploading my data quick enough or my assistant taking too long to bring me a requested file. More than once, I had to walk away from my desk and into the private bathroom in my office simply just to splash some water on my face. Once, I had made the mistake of looking into the mirror above the sink, a shocked gasp leaving my lips at what I saw.

Long gone was my typical impeccable appearance, my tie was loose and hung crookedly around my neck. The white shirt under my jacket was wrinkled from the hours it'd spent on Jasper's floor.

Dark, deep purple circles filled in the crevices beneath my eyes and the scowl on my face made me look much older than I was. Standing in every direction, my hair was a mess from my hand constantly running through it and tugging on it.

I looked like shit.

Worn down and more tired than I'd ever seen myself, I dropped my chin to my chest. It wasn't lack of sleep that had taken away my smile or dulled my hair. It was the absence of the man who had become my happiness.

The same one that put a sparkle in my eye was the one who had taken it away.

I just really fucking missed him.

As the door closed behind me when I walked out of the bathroom, I reminded myself to not look into any more mirrors.

When the letters on my computer screen began to blur together, I was just about ready to say fuck it and leave early when I heard the door to my office open and I knew who it was immediately. He was the only one rude enough to come in without knocking.

"You look like shit," he commented bluntly.

Without looking up from my computer, I completely ignored his comment and asked, "What do you want, Spencer?"

I swear I could literally hear his mouth twisting into a smirk. "I want lots of things. World peace. Super powers. You fucking me over this desk."

Finally meeting his eyes, I felt my stomach tighten in his disgust when I saw the smug look on his face. "If you have nothing of importance to say, then get the fuck out of my office."

Faking an exasperated sigh, he lifted his legs and propped them up on my desk, completely disregarding the important documents he was crinkling with his tacky loafers.

"Edward, you know you want me. Why do you continue to fight it?"

Outraged, I quickly stood and roughly pushed his legs off my desk, making papers flutter into the air before they landed haphazardly on the floor. "I am not in the mood for your fucking games. I will not hesitate to have security drag your sorry, skinny ass out of here so I suggest you leave."

"Mmm, you know I love it when you're feisty. I bet you talk so fucking filthy in bed."

I grabbed the phone from my desk, ready to call my makeshift assistant to ask for security. Quickly, he leaned forward and clamped his hand around my wrist, which I promptly snapped out of his grasp.

"Fine. Quit being such a drama queen, Edward. It doesn't suit you. Plus, I hear it'll give you wrinkles."

Raising a brow, I silently warned him that if he didn't start talking, and quickly, I was going to have him thrown out.

"I was coming to talk to you about the Japan rumors I keep hearing."

Sighing, I set the receiver down and flopped back into my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers in hopes of relieving the tension headache I had been suffering with all day. "What about them?"

"Are they more than just rumors?"

"I'm not sure yet," I told him honestly. "My father thinks it may be a done deal but we don't have any official word yet. If it is, I'll be heading there to work out the details as soon as I'm finished with this."

He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek as he considered my words. Within mere seconds, he said, "I want in."

Incredulous, I stared at him in shock, trying to figure out of he was actually being serious. The concentrated stare he gave me was my answer.

"Are you out of your mind? What in the hell makes you think I'd take you with me?"

I didn't even want to think about the possible merger with the Japanese company. The thought of being that far away from Jasper sickened me. It was hard enough to live day to day in Chicago with Jasper two thousand miles away, much less six thousand and on a different continent. My heart stuttered in my chest for a split second as thoughts of being so far away from him rushed through my mind.

"Because, as far as your father is concerned, you're training me and that would be a fantastic learning experience for someone in my position. Beyond that, I have something you want and you know how beneficial it would be to keep me happy, don't you, Edward? And Japan would definitely keep me happy."

Snarling, I leaned forward and gripped the edge of my desk in both hands, needing to occupy them so I didn't reach across it and strangle him. "You can only hold that over my head for so long, Spencer. At some point, you will lose the upper hand. What will you do then?"

He just smiled another smug smile. "Plan on coming out sometime soon then?" At my silence, he continued. "I didn't think so. So, it looks like I still hold that all important upper hand. So if and when the Japan deal does become official, you'll tell the boss man that you need me with you. You can throw in a few comments on how well I'm doing if you'd like."

It took all of my willpower not to punch the evil grin off his face.

"Get out," I growled, feeling what little self control I had slipping quickly.

Still grinning, he stood and straightened out his suit. "Just think of how much fun we'll have. I promise you I can make it the…most pleasurable business trip you've ever taken." Before I could reply, he turned and walked to the door. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you later," he smirked before walking out of the door and closing it behind him.

Relaxing my grip on the wood, I fell forward until my forehead hit my desk, muttering a quiet, "Fuck," under my breath.

Just when I had thought my day couldn't get worse, Spencer had to come in and mention Japan. It had been on my mind for a few weeks and I had been trying to find out all the information I could without seeming to eager to take it on. There was no doubt that if the merger was going to happen, my father would want me on it, and I had no idea how I would tell Jasper.

Fuck, how I would _leave_ Jasper.

Forcing those thoughts away, I attempted to focus for the next hour and actually began to make some progress on the work I'd been delaying in order to spend time with Jasper. A little after six, I called for my driver and had him meet me downstairs. I stepped onto the elevator and turned, expecting to see Jasper's reflection being pleasured by another man, instead I saw something worse. Spencer slithered between the closing doors, grinning at me as he turned.

"Fancy meeting you here, gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes and then pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm not in the mood."

"I can fix that," he smirked, glancing up the security camera in the corner. "Do you think they'd mind if I dropped right here and gave you head?"

"Spencer," I sighed. Leaning in, he put his lips to my ear, his warm breath brushing over my cheek. I quickly stepped to the side.

"Someday, Edward, someday."

"Never," I snarled quickly. Smiling, he stood upright, his eyes catching mine in the reflection of the doors.

"We'll see."

The doors opened and I bolted out and almost ran through the lobby. It didn't matter though, because on the street, I had to wait for Felix, giving Spencer enough time to catch up to me. When the car pulled up, I opened the door and slid across the seat, knowing Spencer was going to follow. He closed the door and then leaned back against the seat, his long legs relaxed and parted in front of him.

"This is the life, Edward. We are masters of our universe. So many people worship us, want to be us, have what we have and yet you're still not happy. Why is that?"

"Don't talk to me," I growled.

"Seriously, Edward. You have a perfect life, money, charm, power and all I ever see you do is mope around all sullen and shit. It's sad really."

"Did you ever think that maybe I'm 'sullen and shit' because of you?"

"Me?" he scoffed. "All I want to do is serve you."

My jaw tightened and I turned away.

"I think it has to do with a certain blond haired boy-"

I glanced at the back of Felix's head and then raised the glass between us. "Shut the fuck, Spencer. I'm warning you."

"Or what, Edward?"

"You don't want to fuck with me," I snapped, feeling my face flush from my anger as it grew powerful in me.

"On the contrary, that is exactly what I want to do. Again and again," he said calmly. I had to give him credit, he was quick and unfazed. His face was serene with large brown eyes full of mischief and kink, and an easy smile spread across his face when I shook my head.

"Can't you just leave me alone," I sighed. The anger was getting me nowhere, maybe begging would work.

"A fine man like you should never be alone. I would never leave you alone for a weekend."

My eyes whipped to his and I glared at him. Flirting and constantly hitting on me was one thing, but going after Jasper was something I wouldn't tolerate. I was just about to open my mouth when the car pulled up in front of the hotel. Without waiting for Felix, I opened my door and went into the hotel, leaving Spencer behind.

Sighing as soon as my room door was closed, I slipped my jacket off and let it fall to the floor before undoing my tie and tossing it onto the couch. Flopping onto the soft cushions, I closed my eyes.

I almost felt him next to me, his strong fingers kneading the muscles on the back of my neck and my upper shoulders, his velvet voice whispering in my ear, asking about my day, telling me he'll make it all go away.

If only it were true.

There I sat with absolutely fucking nothing to do.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. I could work, God knows I had enough of it, but my mind was too focused on Jasper and where he was, what he was doing, to make sense of any real work. I could eat, only I wasn't hungry. I was exhausted, my body desiring sleep above all else, but I knew it wouldn't come to me, and if it did, it would be haunted by my dreams of wheat curls and ocean blue eyes.

Lifting my feet onto the table, I laid my head back and considered my options.

Work.

Dinner.

Dinner with Spencer.

Watch television.

What the fuck did I do before I met Jasper?

Oh, right, nothing. I had no life before him. I was a shell of a man until he breathed life into me with his very presence.

Looking around my room, my eyes landed on the crystal decanter on the bar and I realized getting drunk was the best of my options. At the very least, it would help me sleep. Flipping on the TV, I went to the bar and poured myself a shot of bourbon, downing it quickly before pouring another. Just as I placed the shot glass onto the table top the ad on TV ended and the show returned.

"We say who, we say when, we say how much."

_No._

Walking back to the couch, I turned and looked at the TV, knowing exactly what I would find.

Vivian walking toward a Lotus.

Stunned, I stood and watched her get into the car and flirt with her Edward. They arrived at the hotel and I watched Edward's demeanor change as he asked her to spend the night with him.

I knew the feeling well, the loneliness, the need to feel that intimacy with someone if only for a night.

Turning it off, I grabbed my jacket off the floor, making sure my wallet was still in the pocket and then I walked out my door.

Out on the sidewalk, the doorman called me a cab, opening the door as I shoved a five into his hand and mumbled thanks.

"Where to?"

"Fourth and Pine."

Sitting back, I realized my heart was racing in my chest at what I was about to do.

About ten minutes later, the driver pulled up to an intersection. I handed him the fare and got out, suddenly completely overwhelmed and lost as to where to go. Standing on the corner, I looked down 4th Street, people were everywhere and they all seemed to know where they were going. Guessing on the direction, I headed north and began walking, causally looking at all the faces that passed by me. Keeping my hands in my pockets, I kept my chin up and shoulders back, trying to look like I knew what the fuck I was doing.

Three blocks later, the store fronts faded into empty buildings, graffiti covered the worn brick, and the street lights got fewer and farther between. The couples and business men morphed into teens and homeless begging for spare change.

"Hey, sugar, need some company tonight?"

She was tall, really fucking tall, and skinny as hell with the reddest hair and longest nails I'd ever seen.

"No, thanks," I mumbled and walked faster. When I turned the dark corner, I almost ran into a boy. He couldn't have been more than sixteen, dressed in baggy jeans and a sweatshirt. Hazy eyes looked lazily up at me.

"Hey there, honey, looking for someone?"

I debated on telling him who I was looking for when I realized he didn't mean literally.

"Um…no, I'm good." I went to go by him but he had a friend who came out of nowhere to block my path.

"Aw, that's too bad, gorgeous, because we can give you a two for one," his friend offered. He was older, taller and thinner with really short dark hair.

"No…thanks," I stammered.

"I think he needs more convincing," the younger one said. "Maybe a sample?" he asked as he unzipped his pants and pulled his cock out without even glancing around to see if anyone was watching. Shocked, I glanced at his cock in his hand and then back to his eyes.

"Don't you have a home? Parents?" I asked seriously and he laughed.

"Sure, honey, after working here I go home and kiss my momma every night before I go to sleep in a nice warm bed."

The taller one smirked. "Maybe he needs more than a sample. How about a little display?" he suggested. Without hesitating, he went to his knees and took the kid's cock into his mouth.

"Fuck," I mouthed. Looking around, I saw that everyone was completely oblivious to a boy giving another head on the sidewalk. Nearby there were a group of kids huddled together, passing around something and laughing. In a shadowed doorway further down, I heard distinct grunting. When the boy in front of me moaned, I returned my attention to them. Suddenly, the tall one stopped and then stood up.

"Want some?" he asked, licking his lips. "Twenty bucks and you can come in my mouth."

I looked at his torn and dirty clothes, I smelled the stench coming off him and I wondered if this was the life Jasper had led when he was on the streets before becoming an escort.

"Where do you eat?" I asked, curious.

"Are you for real?" the young one asked and I nodded. "Only at the finest restaurants. Now, did you want some head or not?"

His cock still poked out from his pants, hard and red while he stroked himself.

"I'm not here for that," I began.

"Ten bucks and he'll jerk off for you," the tall one offered. "Fifteen and we both will."

"I'm looking for someone."

"We can be anyone you want," they both replied.

"I'm looking for Riley. Do you know him?"

"What the fuck do you want with Riley?" the young one asked. "My cock is bigger."

I almost told him I knew for a fact it wasn't, but I kept my mouth shut. When I didn't respond, he motioned down the street.

"I saw him get dropped off about ten minutes ago one block down."

"Thanks," I said. I went to leave but paused and reached into my jeans. Pulling out a twenty, I handed it to him and then left, walking as quickly as possible. I passed a girl being fucked in the doorway and a few people sleeping against the cold brick of a building. Hookers, both men and women, were scattered around. The girls were dressed in short skirts and heels with tight shirts, while most of the guys wore skinny jeans and tee shirts. Some were lucky enough to have on sweatshirts.

I reached the block where the kid had seen Riley and I stood on the corner looking around. Behind me was a dark alley with low moans emitting from it. Deciding I was safer in the light, I bit my lip and searched up and down the street.

"Need some help?" The boy was tall and really thin with long, dark hair. Unlike the others, he wasn't overtly sexual, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders slouched forward. When he stepped out of the shadows and got closer, I saw the glaze in his eyes.

He was high.

"Um…" I stuttered as he neared. Casually, he moved until he was right in front of me, his bloodshot eyes appreciating me. "Maybe."

"You either do or you don't," he chuckled. "I've got a great mouth, ten bucks and you can come in it, fifty and you can fuck my ass. Bare."

"Jesus," I muttered. He ran a finger down my chest. "I'm looking for someone. Riley."

His eyes narrowed and he frowned. "What do you want with him?"

"Have you seen him?"

"I can give you everything he can," he offered, stepping even closer. "Fifty bucks," he reminded me. My heart pounded in my chest. I was so far out of my fucking element I felt like I was on a different planet.

His fingers grazed along the top of my pants and I jumped back.

"What are you doing down here, beautiful? This isn't your zip code," a familiar voice said behind me.

Turning, I saw Riley walking out of the alley, his fingers quickly zipping up his jeans, a long, wool coat flowing around him as he approached. Relieved, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. Chuckling he buried his nose in my neck and curved his hands around to my ass, groping it.

Moaning, he lifted his head and looked at the other guy over my shoulder.

"I got him, Rick, thanks."

"You know him?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, we go way back," Riley lied easily. Rick gave him a nod and then turned and walked off. Releasing my ass, Riley's hands went to rest on my hips instead. Slowly, I unwrapped my arms from his neck and leaned back but still remained in his embrace. "You are way out of your league down here, beautiful. We're not the high priced escorts you're used to."

"I had to find you," I admitted.

"Why? Is Jasper okay? Did Texas fuck him up?" His voice deepened with instant concern.

Confused, I furrowed my brows. "No. He's okay. At least I think he is. Why would Texas fuck him up?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, forget I said anything. Why are you here, Edward? It's not safe for you down here."

"I wanted to find you. Get you out of here," I grinned.

"Get me out of here?" he returned incredulously.

"Yeah, come back to the hotel with me. We can get something to eat, you can…shower."

Throwing back his head, he laughed, and I loved the sparkle that appeared in his dark brown eyes. "Beautiful, you really think me going back to your hotel is a good idea?"

"Yeah."

"Mmm," he moaned, jerking my hips forward to his. He thrust into me, using his hands on my ass to keep me there as he ground against me. "I don't think Jasper would like that very much."

"He won't mind."

"I think he'd mind if I fucked you."

Blushing, I looked down the alley behind him. "What were you doing down there?" I asked, curious.

Without glancing back, he replied with a shrug. "Getting fucked."

"Oh," I answered and I felt a hint of churning in my stomach, a much weaker feeling of how I felt when Jasper left to be with someone else. "Are you…um…are you…"

"Spit it out, gorgeous? Am I what? A good fuck? Hard for you?" He put his lips to my ear. "Because I am both of those."

"Shit," I murmured, dropping my forehead to his shoulder. "I was going to ask if you're being safe."

"Safe as in safe sex?"

I nodded against him, slipping my hands under his jacket I felt his warmth through the thin fabric of his tee shirt.

"Always," he replied easily. Feeling the soft wool of his jacket against my skin, I moved my hand to run along the inside of it, feeling the expensive silk lining.

"Pretty nice jacket."

"Jasper gave it to me," his said, his breath barely skimming along the shell of my ear, sending a shudder through my body. I lifted my head.

"He did?"

"Yeah, right before he left…um…shit, what day is it?"

"Friday."

"Oh, good. Yeah, he came by earlier today."

Suddenly there was some loud yelling coming from the street. Riley quickly turned us so his body was shielding mine. Glancing over his shoulder, his eyes narrowed. "Fuck," he mumbled. "Come 'ere."

Pulling away, he dragged me down the alley and into a doorway where we were hidden by the shadows. Pushing me back against a wall, he pressed his body to mine. Cold fingers moved the collar of my shirt, the tips of them dancing along my neck. "The shit I could do to you…" he trailed off, licking his lips. "So fucking tempting."

"Then come back to the hotel with me," I murmured suggestively but he didn't fall for it.

"To do what? Hang out? Keep you company while your boyfriend is away when all I really want to do is fuck your tight ass?" Biting my lip, I stared at him. "Edward, that sounds really nice, but I gotta stay out here. Unlike you, I need to work for my money."

"What if I paid you?" I offered quickly. "Money talks, right?"

He pulled back and returned my stare, searching for something. "Not tonight, beautiful, but thank you for the offer."

"I don't like you out here," I admitted quietly, surprising myself. Since when the hell did I care about a hooker on the streets?

Since he was a friend of the man I loved.

Before Jasper I had never even noticed people living on the streets. They were invisible, just someone else I passed by on my way into a store or coffee shop.

What had happened to my life that in a few months I was standing in a dark doorway in the seedier part of Seattle with a hooker making passes at me?

And liking it.

"It's not so bad," he said casually. "Listen, it's going to start getting busy down here, you need to go."

"Busy?"

"Yeah, as in johns scooping for ass. I need to bring in some cash tonight, I can't babysit you. I need you to go home."

"But-"

"Please, Edward. Jasper would never forgive me if something happened to you. Go home."

Sighing, I nodded. I didn't want to go back to my lonely room.

"Thank you," he smiled. "Now that we're alone…" He pressed harder against me, rubbing his cock along mine as he moved his hips in all the right ways. "Do you know how bad I want to kiss you right now, taste that rich mouth of yours?"

The movements of his hips were languid and practiced, he was a man that knew exactly what he was doing. My fingers dug into the flesh at his waist as I bit back a moan.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. This is what I do. This is what Jasper did," he reminded me, bringing a reality to Jasper's former life. Shaking my head, I cleared the images of Jasper in that same dark alley getting fucked. He pulled his hips back, his hold on me loosening. "Got a wallet on you?"

"Yeah."

"Jacket pocket?"

How the fuck did he know?

"Yeah."

"Move it to the front pocket of your pants, then put your hands in your pockets. Walk fast with your head up but don't make eye contact with anyone, got it?"

"Rile-"

"Damn it, Edward, do you understand?"

"Yeah, I got it," I sighed. "I'm not a fucking kid, I can handle myself."

"Maybe but this isn't a fucking boardroom, they don't follow the same set of rules out there. At the end of this alley, turn left and go three blocks, you can catch a cab there. If anyone offers you shit, just ignore them. If they try to hit on you, toss out my name, they'll back off."

"Okay." I released him and reached into my jacket pocket, pulling out my wallet. Opening it, I pulled out a few fifties and held them out to him.

"I don't want your money," he said shaking his head. I didn't budge. Instead, I took his hand from my hip and shoved the money into it. "Edward-"

"Just take it."

Curling his hands around the cash, he shoved it into his pocket. Leaning forward, he closed the few inches that separated us and brushed his lips across mine. "Thanks, beautiful," he mumbled into the air between us. "Now get your tight ass outta here so I can get back to work," he grinned and shook his head, moving his hair off his face.

"You're going to be okay?"

"Always am. I'll walk you to the end of the alley, then you're on your own." He stepped back, letting me pass by him. Following me closely, I could feel him near as we both walked toward the end of the alley, ignoring the groans coming from behind the dumpsters. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the tall skinny guy from earlier standing against the wall while someone kneeled in front him of, his head bobbing up and down.

"Be careful, beautiful," Riley whispered just as we reached the end and I turned to thank him but he was gone.

Standing there, I looked both ways, squinting to find the long, black jacket he wore, finally spotting him across the street, bending over the driver's side of a car. With a slight nod, I saw him stand up and move around to the passenger side. He looked over to me, giving me a warning glare as he opened the door and got in.

Following his instructions to the letter, I walked down the street with my head up, hands in my pockets, my strides portraying a confidence I didn't have. Three blocks later, I caught a cab. The entire ride all I thought about was what kind of life Jasper had led on the streets. I had so many questions for him. How did he eat, do his laundry or get his hair cut? Did he have to let anyone fuck him? I knew from the scar that he'd been hurt protecting his friend…

I shook my head. _Riley._ He'd been protecting Riley.

Their bond ran deeper than I had suspected.

Jasper and I couldn't have been more opposites. I was spoiled, had the best of anything and everything provided to me by a loving family. Jasper had grown up without parents and had lived on the streets, selling his body for money. And yet, as opposite as we were, we fit seamlessly together.

Except when we were apart. Then it seemed my world came crashing down without him to hold it together.

The cab pulled up to my hotel and I went up to my room, stripping my clothes off on my way to the shower. I let the hot water spray over me, scalding my skin as I stood under it too long. Finally feeling some of the tension roll off my body, I washed my hair and then got out and dried off. With the towel wrapped round my hips, I went into the bedroom suite and clicked on the television before collapsing on the bed. I flicked through the channels and found nothing. Turning it off, I dropped the remote and turned off the light before pulling the towel off. Shivering when the cool air washed over my naked skin, I felt the goose bumps all over me before I warmed. It wasn't long before my fingers were skimming along my soft cock, encouraging it to harden. My mind helped with images of Jasper flashing through it. Wrapping my fingers around my length, I felt it grow in my hand with each new vision of Jasper. Simple images of him naked and touching himself much like I was bombarded me. A few pumps later and I was thrusting my hips up to meet my fist, tightening my hold and groaning loudly when my other hand cupped my balls.

I remembered using the FleshJack for Jasper. How he'd looked when he watched me, his honey smooth voice swelling with desire when he spoke to me, the way his body reacted to my excitement. How he had taken me right after. Writhing on the bed, I spread my legs wide and planted my feet on the mattress, using the leverage to thrust up. Wantonly, I moved, bringing myself to the edge of my climax before slowing down. I imagined Jasper next to me, watching, enjoying. I could almost feel his gaze on me, his hands hovering over me, his breaths hot and heavy for me.

My heart ached from his absence as my body reached for my orgasm. Ready to feel the brief bliss, if only for a minute or two, I stroked myself faster, efficiently, while my other hand tugged and pulled on my sac.

"Fuck, yeah," I moaned as the tingling began low on my spine, gradually traveling up and out before it finally rolled through me, warming every nerve. In my hand, my cock twitched a few times before spraying cum onto my stomach and chest. My hips rocked and bucked through it, my tongue licking my lips as I cried out Jasper's name over and over.

I saw the look of pure pleasure on his face as he watched me come, his own hands wandering over his bare skin.

Breathing heavily, I continued to stroke my cock until it slipped, limp and covered in cum, from my grip. I grabbed the towel from earlier and wiped my cock and abdomen off before tossing it on the floor. Pulling the blanket back, I crawled under it and laid my head on the expensive down pillows. After making sure my phone was on and the alarm was set, I closed my eyes.

Desperately I wanted to feel his warm body pressed against mine, his strong arm around my middle, keeping me safe. I swear I felt his moist breath on the back of my neck.

"I love you, Jasper," I whispered into the dark room.

"**~~**"

Instead of the alarm clock I was used too, it was the shrill ring of the hotel phone that pulled me from my light, fitful sleep. I had tossed and turned the entire night, unable to find a comfortable position without Jasper's body entwined with mine. In Chicago, I was used to sleeping alone but in Seattle, I had grown accustomed to having his arms around me, his steady breaths and soft snores comforting me while I slept.

Twice during the night, I had woken up from nightmares of Jasper, images of him tangled in bed with another, spreading his legs in invitation and expressing his passion with moans and pleas for more. Both times, I'd jolted upright, gasping his name, reaching for him in reassurance that it had been just a dream, only to feel my heart break a little more when I felt my empty bed. Running my hands through my damp hair, I had flung the blanket off my sweaty body as my chest heaved. Grabbing my phone, I'd checked it, desperately hoping for a call or text from him, something to let me know he was missing me.

I had found nothing either time.

Quickly I reached for the phone, thinking that maybe Jasper had lost my cell number and was calling my room instead.

"Hello?" I rushed out, pushing myself to a sitting position, letting the sheets pool around my waist.

To say that I was disappointed to hear my father's clipped voice rather than Jasper's smooth drawl would be an understatement. I was fucking crushed.

"Hello, Edward."

With my heavy sigh, I felt the last of my hope leave me while a deep despair settled in. Jasper hadn't even been gone twenty-four hours and I was already breaking down.

"Hey, Dad. Why are you calling the hotel?"

"Because the way I hear it," his tone was filled with sarcasm, "you're not a big fan of answering your _business_ phone anymore."

I winced as though he had scolded me in person.

After my incident with Bella, I had been letting my work calls go straight to voicemail in order to avoid snapping at the wrong person and causing potential harm. Plus, I lacked the motivation to make decisions objectively and the ability to focus. It appeared that Jasper had taken all of me with him when he left.

"It was just a couple of calls," I sighed. I knew I sounded like a scolded schoolboy but there wasn't much else I could have said. I had made an error and this was my punishment.

"Yes, well, I might be able to understand that if you had been keeping up with the rest of your responsibilities. Besides the meeting you missed yesterday, in the past two months you've missed two luncheons, both of which included potential partners I might add, as well as a dinner party hosted by EuroTech and a black tie charity event." He sighed heavily and I could picture the disappointment drawing his brows to a point. "Was this a mistake, Edward? Do I need to pull you from this merger?"

There was no threat in his words, only a genuine curiosity with a hint of concern. Regardless, his statement made my body seize in panic. I couldn't tell him that I had missed all those events because I was either making love with Jasper, sleeping with Jasper, cuddling with Jasper, or once, just thinking about him. However, I also couldn't let him replace me. That would pull me away from Jasper completely and I couldn't allow that. The thought of never seeing him again made my stomach twist painfully.

"No," I said loudly and firmly before taking a breath to reign in my emotions so that I could speak with a more even voice. "No, of course not. I can handle this, Dad. I know I can," I insisted.

"I know you can too, son," he said sincerely. "That's why I'm so concerned. What's going on, Edward?"

Pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger, I clenched my eyes shut and tried to think of one decent excuse for my behavior.

One single thing that could justify my actions.

I came up empty.

At my silence, he continued in a voice much gentler than I was accustomed to for with him. "Son, talk to me. Tell me what's going on. I just want...you know that you can tell me anything, don't you? No matter what, above all else, you're my son first."

Stupidly, ridiculously, I felt a lump form in my throat as his words sunk in. I was sure he meant them, though I knew that he underestimated, or misunderstood, my level of turmoil. There was no way he would anticipate what was really bothering me, what I was hiding from him. He would never expect me to blurt out that not only was I fucking a high priced escort but I had fallen in love with him, and imagining my life without him literally stole my breath.

Would I always be his son first even when I brought that very man, an ex-hooker, to company functions, instead of a woman from a prominent family? Would he always feel so strongly for me?

I doubted it, but I agreed with him anyway.

"I know, Dad. I'm fine."

Sighing, he said, "Just as stubborn as your mother." When he spoke again, his voice was all business again. "Fine, Edward, I'm going to trust you but you need to know that if this continues, I will pull you from this merger and bring you home. This is my life's work and I won't see one this deal ruined, potentially harming future mergers because you can't keep up with your obligations."

Ah, that was more like the Carlisle I was used too.

"Yes, sir," I replied obediently.

"Have a good day, Edward."

Then he hung up the phone.

Shaking my head, I fell back onto my bed, the phone still in my hand.

"Fuck," I growled out loud. I glanced at the time, groaning when I saw it wasn't even seven. He'd called me before seven on a Saturday morning to bitch me out about work. That was what my life had become.

While other men my age had already fallen in love, gotten married and maybe even had children and were being woken by the pitter patter of small feet, I was laying alone in a hotel bed being woken at an ungodly hour by my own father.

I put the phone on the table and rolled onto my side, hoping to lull myself back to sleep. Burying my head into the pillow, I closed my eyes and imagined Jasper behind me, soothing away the phone call with tender caresses. Eventually, I fell into a light sleep.

It was a few hours later when I finally opened my eyes, blinking away the harsh light of the day. Reaching for my phone, I checked for any missed calls, muttering under my breath when I saw none. I lay there, dwelling in his absence. When he was with me, I saw nothing but him, heard nothing but him, he overwhelmed me in every way but when he was gone I was just as overwhelmed with missing him.

I had an entire day of nothing to do but work. Staying and working in the hotel room meant dealing with Spencer and I didn't have the energy. Deciding I might be more productive at the office, I threw the sheet off me and padded barefoot and naked to the shower.

Ignoring my morning wood, I washed my body and hair before getting out to dry off and shave. After brushing my teeth, I went to the bedroom and threw on some jeans, a polo shirt and a sweater. I called for my driver, grabbed my briefcase and headed out the door. It was sunny out and an early morning chill hung crisp in the air as I waited for a minute on the sidewalk until Felix pulled up. With a curt nod and good morning, he opened my door and I slid into the backseat, settling in for the ride. Yawning, I looked out the window at the buildings and people blurring into each other as we passed by. I wondered where Riley was and if he had made it through the night safely. I wondered if Jasper was awake and how he'd woken up. Work was definitely the last thing on my mind.

Shaking away those thoughts, I sighed. A familiar green signed loomed in the distance and I couldn't help but smile.

_Seattle's pride and joy._

"Stop here, please," I asked Felix and he immediately pulled over. "Wait here," I mumbled as I got out and walked into Starbucks. Standing in line, I imagined Jasper next to me, his hand gripping mine, his freshly washed scent filling the air around me. I remembered asking him what he wanted and the look of confusion on his face. At the time, I'd no idea he didn't know how to order coffee. When I looked back, I was amazed at what he pulled off without knowing how. He had such an innocence about him, and yet, he was most definitely not innocent.

I ordered my drink and then headed outside. Sipping the coffee, I looked toward Pike's Market, remembering walking through there with Jasper hand in hand. Our date had been one the happiest days in my life. Other than the brief run-in with Daniel, I had been able to be myself, hold my lover's hand and even kiss him in public just like every other couple.

I found Felix and walked over the parked car where I opened the passenger side door.

"I'm going to go to the market for a bit, can you wait here?"

"Of course," he replied. Closing the door, I walked toward the market. Alone I wandered up and down the aisles, eyeing the fruit and vegetables before stopping and watching the fish throwing for a few minutes. Couples stood around me, some with their arms around each other, other's holding their children's hands. It seemed everyone but me was with someone, someone they loved and cared about.

While the person I loved was being…

It did me no good to keep imagining what Jasper was doing and it hurt almost as much to retrace our steps that day, to remember his laughter and innocence to it all. As if I was being pulled by his hand as he walked, I found myself heading toward the flower stand where I'd bought him the purple tulips. Staring the flowers, I saw his dimpled grin and wide eyes, I saw his cheeks blush as I told him he was beautiful.

I felt my lips pressing to his, kissing my lover in public had been one of the most daring things I'd ever done. If he had only known how much my heart had raced from joy and anxiousness and how much his touch had brought it right back down to a normal pace. Picking up a bouquet of the lavender tulips, I inhaled their sweet scent and immediately felt him surrounding me, everything about him was in the air and I breathed him, letting him fill me. Grasping the flowers, I fished a twenty from my wallet and paid the man before heading back to the car with the bouquet in my hand.

I opened the door and got inside, inhaling the flowers one more time, the velvet petals tickling my nose.

"The office, sir?"

I was silent for a minute, thinking about his question and how much I didn't want to go to the office.

"The Space Needle, please."

He nodded and pulled out into traffic as I closed my eyes, wishing Jasper was sitting next to me, his head resting on my shoulder. It wasn't long before Felix stopped and was opening my door. Leaving the flowers on the backseat, I got out.

"I'll try to get a spot over there, Mr. Cullen, but if I can't, just call as soon as you're finished," he told me as he closed the door.

"Thanks," I said before heading inside the Space Needle and getting a ticket for the observation deck. I stood in the crowded elevator with the other tourists, all of them eager to see the city on a rare sunny day. When the doors opened, my feet felt heavy and I forced them with effort to take me to the deck. It was cold and I wrapped my arms across my chest as the wind twisted and twirled through my hair, messing it up even more. Looking out over the city, I prayed for his warm body behind me, supporting me as I leaned into him, resting my head against him while he murmured in my ear.

"_Baby, I can't wait to get you back to the hotel room."_

Moist breath brushed over my cheek and I felt myself blushing and looking around to see if anyone caught us in our intimate moment. They didn't of course, because the intimate moment was all in my head.

In my heart.

Each brilliant memory of our date I relived by retracing our steps only brought more ache to my heart, like pouring salt on the wound of his absence, but I reveled in each thought about him, hoping that in some way, I would feel closer to him.

The city life continued below me and I felt small and meek above it all. I looked toward 4th street once again, wondering where Riley was. My body shivered, perhaps from the chill or perhaps from the memory of Riley's body pressed against mine. As much as I loved Jasper, I had to admit there was something irresistible about his friend, something I longed to discover some day but not without Jasper by my side. Looking over the skyline, I tried to see as far as I could, wondering just how far away Jasper really was. Physically a few thousand miles separated us, but I hoped that maybe if he was thinking of me in that very moment, I would know it, feel it. Taking my phone from my pocket, I entered the password I'd set up to protect my files and opened the picture that I had taken of us when we'd been there on our date. My fingers grazed over his smile, the tilt of his head toward me and the way his hair was blowing in the breeze.

Fuck, I missed him.

Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I turned and headed toward the elevator.

I had one more stop.

Climbing into the back of the car, I directed Felix where to go. Goose bumps broke out over me as I remembered what I'd been doing the last time I had been on that same route. How Jasper's lips had felt wrapped around my cock, how sexually free and open he was and how he was willing to let me to be the same way. My fingers tingled from his silky strands threading through them as I kept his head pressed to my crotch and moaned his name.

Felix announced that we had arrived and I shifted uncomfortably, my cock straining against my jeans. I left instructions for him as I hopped out and walked down the boardwalk, knowing exactly where I was heading. Stopping in front of it, I debated on going inside, if for nothing else than to feel him straddling my lap, his tongue in my mouth.

"_The things I'm going to do to you later."_

Clenching my eyes shut, I willed the emotions back, wondering how it was possible for my heart to swell and ache at the same time. Pulling the heavy curtain aside, I glanced inside at the bench where I'd sat next to Jasper, making funny faces at the camera.

The pictures I thought I would have with me for the rest of my life.

The pictures that were now in someone else's hands.

Growling at the thought of Spencer tarnishing my day with Jasper, I let go of the curtain and headed outside and crossed the street.

The sand felt cool and rough against my feet. Holding my loafers in my hand, I walked along the water's edge, darting the waves as they ebbed near me. My eyes scanned the ground for rocks, picking up ones that were good for skipping. Bringing my arm back, I released it, watching it skim across the water, skipping a few times before finally sinking. I could hear the amazement in his voice at my skill and the wonder at wanting to be taught how to do it. My own voice was clear when I recalled asking him how he became an escort and if he liked it.

Now I knew when he had been discovered on the streets, he was already a hooker, selling his body for money. The things he must have been asked to do, the danger he put himself in nightly, were beyond my comprehension.

When I heard his laughter in the breeze, I couldn't stop the tear that rolled down my cheek. I knew there was more where it came from, but I took a few deep breaths. The constriction around my heat grew and I clenched my eyes shut. I knew if I opened them, I would see his footprints in the sand next to my own.

Then I saw him next to another, holding someone else's hand, sharing their laughter, their kisses…their body. Images of him walking a beach with someone else struck me hard, shredding my already damaged heart. I felt pieces of it fall from my chest onto the sand, where I watched them get washed away with the tide.

"No," I whispered. Turning, I walked a few steps with my eyes closed, until I was sure his presence with another was left behind. Satisfied the moment had passed, I opened my eyes and jogged to the car. After settling into the seat, I tossed my shoes on the floor and looked out the window.

The backs of his fingers brushed along my cheeks.

I had never known pain like that before.

I was relieved when I realized it couldn't get any worse.

"**~~**"

Back in my room, I put the flowers in a vase on the coffee table and set my briefcase down before heading straight for the bar and pouring a shot of whiskey. I had never made it to the office. Instead, I'd had Felix bring me back to the hotel, ignoring the confused look on his face when I exited the car and told him I was done with him for the day.

Going to the television, I opened the DVD player and put in the DVD I had bought before leaving Chicago. With a deep sigh, I downed the shot and poured another before sitting on the couch. After toeing off my loafers, I put my feet up on the table and hit play on the remote, a smile tugging on my lips when the music began. I was eager for Dorothy to take me over the rainbow with her. Watching Jasper's movie made me feel closer to him.

Jasper.

The man I loved.

The man I was _in love_ with.

Before Jasper, I had begun to doubt my ability to love. Sure I loved my family, my parents, my sister. I loved Emmett. True love, however... the stuff songs were written about, the all encompassing, burn you to the very core kind of love had always seemed out of my reach.

For a short time, I had thought that I loved Masen, and I'm sure in a certain way I had. He had been my first in a lot of ways, we had learned and experimented with each others bodies, as well as worked our way into each other's hearts during the small amount of time we'd had together. But because of Jasper, I now knew the difference between love and infatuation. One did not compare to the other.

When Masen had been taken away from me, my heart hurt, I shed many tears over his absence and at the time, I wasn't sure I'd ever get over the loss. I could remember lying on the bed in my room back at school, my cheeks stained with my sadness, trying to figure out ways that Masen and I could be together again. I had missed my friend, the only one who had ever truly understood me. More than that, I missed my lover and the way his arms felt around me, the way his fingers tangled in my hair as he scratched at my scalp. I had missed the way he panted into my mouth and moaned my name as I stroked him to orgasm, and the way he would smile at me when I keened in pleasure from his fingers inside me. I had missed everything about him and in the months following his departure I had felt like my world was ending.

Yet all of that pain, all of that hurt and depression, paled in comparison to how I felt when Jasper and I were apart.

When I was away from him, it seemed as if half of me was missing. The pleasurable tug at my heart would fade as the distance between us grew greater, my ability to think clearly about work or life in general completely disintegrated, it even felt harder to breathe properly. I used to know what I was doing, what my next move was going to be but when Jasper had walked into my life, I entered a fog, my mind becoming hazy while my heart fell for him.

I was completely lost without him. Every minute of our time apart I yearned for his touch, his voice, his very presence. Even at work, where it seemed I only pretended to get through my day, I would often replay our previous conversation. At home, I was either waiting for his call or already on the phone with him. The few blissful hours that his face was on my computer screen were the only things that helped me make it through our separation. I had even reached the point where the mere sound of his ring tone floating from my phone made butterflies appear in my stomach.

I never would have imagined that a simple phone call to an escort company would have brought me to the love of my life.

After Masen, I had protected myself, becoming standoffish and distant. It would do no good to fall in love when I was living a lie, and I certainly never expected that the first time I would fall in love it would be with a hooker. Someone I had hired to please me physically, fill a need I wasn't able to do myself, had ended up filling so much more.

Jasper might have been my first love, but he wasn't my first at everything.

In our two years off and on together, Demetri had taught me a lot about sex. He'd been my first, showing me just how good it could feel.

We had met my freshman year at Stanford at a frat party. I had been convinced to go by a friend and had spent the night anxiously standing in a corner, my eyes roaming over the drunken college boys when a junior approached me. He was tall with the broadest shoulders I'd ever seen. Dark, almost black, eyes were confident as he dragged a strong finger down my neck and along my collarbone. He introduced himself with a sexy Italian accent, his voice dripping with sensuality as he leaned in and whispered into my ear. We talked mindlessly until he offered to show me his room.

I accepted, nervously following him up the stairs, having no idea what I was getting myself into.

In his room, he closed the door and guided me to his bed. His mouth pressed to mine while my hands roamed his body, enjoying the way his firm muscles rolled under his tight tee shirt. It had been so long since I'd felt a man's weight on me. After kissing me for a few long moments, I felt his hand under my pants, cupping my erection. One sharp buck of my hips and he moved his lips down my body until he'd freed my cock and sucked me to orgasm.

After that night, we sought each other out on a regular basis, usually once a week. It was a great way to relieve stress. We used each other, but there was respect and chemistry there as well. He was gentle and caring, but we both knew there were no feelings other than lust involved. After a few months of blow jobs and fingering my ass, it happened.

I lost my virginity to him.

It had been just before spring break. Most kids were going to Cancun for the week while I was going back to snowy Chicago to work with my father. I wasn't looking forward to being home and being apart from Demetri. I had just come down his throat when I reached for his cock and he stopped me.

"Do you trust me, Edward?" he asked in his perfect English. I nodded, my body shaking from the smoothness of his voice. "Let me take you. Let my body bring you a pleasure you've never known."

I hesitated, my mind reeling with his offer. I had told him shortly after we'd begun our relationship that I was a virgin. He had accepted it and was willing to wait until I was ready. Thing was, I wasn't sure I was ever going to be ready. I knew the mechanics of anal sex, he'd had his fingers in my ass many times, but never anything wider…or longer. But I was almost twenty, it was time.

Once I nodded, he rolled over and grabbed a condom and lube. He walked me through it, going incredibly slowly, his hands always on my body in gentle caresses, his mouth leaving soft kisses behind. When his slick fingers readied me, I felt myself getting hard again. He had me writhing on the bed when the tips of his fingers brushed over my sweet spot. I was begging for his cock when he withdrew his magic fingers. Placing me on my back, he held my legs up and out, watching my face as he entered me. When I winced, he paused, talking me through the burning pain, stroking my cock to keep me hard and occupied. He waited until I nodded, gasping through gritted teeth before he pushed forward. Slowly, his cock entered until he was seated inside me. I felt his hands everywhere, in my hair, on my cock, along my sides. The soothing accent of his words washed over me as he began to thrust. His moves were deliberate and measured but his desire for me hung on each one. With effort, he maintained his control and resisted slamming into me. Instead, I began to feel the burn fade and the pleasure of being filled take over, even feeling my cock pulsing in his hand. Timing his strokes with the movement of his hips, he brought me to a second orgasm. I came around him, the spasms of my ass strangling his cock until he was stilling deep in me, nails digging into my hips as he cried out, grunting in exertion and filling the condom.

After, he rolled to the side, stripped the condom off and pulled me to him, asking if was okay while his hands examined me. I was sore, my ass burned and I had felt like was going to be split in two, but with Demetri's patience and kind demeanor, I had experienced a new height of pleasure. Laughing in his arms, I slung a sweaty leg over his and drew him into a kiss, joking about how fucking a med student had its benefits.

We continued to see each other the next year and a half, but we never dated and were rarely seen in public together. Most of our time together was either in his bed or mine. With our classes and devotions to our studies, neither of us ever had the time for an actual boyfriend. It wasn't necessary when we had each other anyway. Our bodies learned how to please each other. He taught me positions, letting me set the pace. Even though he was the top, I never felt dominated by him, and while he was more sexually experienced than I was, he treated me as his equal in bed.

As much sex as we'd had, there was so much more to learn. Our sex had been vanilla by most standards. There was never any toy play or scenes. No public sex and definitely nothing even close to double penetration.

Those experiences, those firsts, belonged to one person.

Demetri's and my relationship had been purely physical, but we had talked about love once. After a thorough fucking, we both lay sprawled next to each other. My head lolled to the side and I watched him breathe.

"Do you think we'll ever find love?" I asked seriously.

He turned to his side, his body only inches from mine, but our hands never reached out to touch each other.

"Love isn't for people like us."

"Like us?"

"Driven, successful, determined. We've got better things to go than waste time falling in love."

Hesitantly I nodded in agreement, a sinking feeling he was right settling in the pit of my stomach.

At Demetri's graduation, I approached him in public, giving him a card and wishing him well. In private later I gave him my body until we were both crying out each other's names. I slept in his bed that night for the first time, spending it in his arms. I remembered falling asleep, wondering if that was as good as it got, wondering if sex would ever be different with someone else, wondering if I'd ever feel more for someone else than I did for my Italian lover.

The next morning, wanting to avoid a long drawn out goodbye scene, I left before he was awake. I wrote a note and put it on his pillow, thanking him for his caring touch, for teaching me and for being there when I needed him.

Never once had I said I was going to miss him.

Never once had I mentioned the word love.

Overwhelmed and mentally exhausted from my day and my circling thoughts of Jasper, I sighed, leaning forward to grab my glass. Turning it up, I gulped down the rest of the liquor until there was nothing left. It burned my throat even though it went down relatively smoothly, making my lips peel back at the sharp bite of it. Immediately, I stood up and walked back to the bar, giving up on the glass, instead choosing to just drink straight from the bottle. I had every intention of drinking myself to sleep, hoping that if I was drunk enough, I wouldn't even dream. With everything I was already feeling, a nightmare of Jasper hard at work was the last fucking thing I needed.

As the amber liquid worked its magic, I felt the tension in my body slowly melt away, rolling off my muscles until my legs tingled and felt heavy. When Dorothy had met Glenda, I went to my bedroom and pulled off my clothes, piling them on the floor. Once I was comfortable, wearing only cotton pajama pants, I walked back to the couch. Grabbing the bottle, I tilted my head back as I brought the half empty bottle back to my lips once more.

"Just follow the yellow brick road."

I felt a lump form in my throat, my eyes clenching shut as I tried to hold back my loneliness. He was the only thing that could soothe my nerves completely, make the last two horrible days disappear with a few murmured words of affection and a gentle laugh. I needed the confidence he always gave me, the reassurance he always provided without my asking for it. More than once when I was feeling frustrated or upset about the way my life was going, my inability to live my life the way I wanted, Jasper had talked me down from the metaphorical edge. He never tried to give me false hope or pretend that he understood exactly what I was going through, he would simply let me vent before reminding me that if it hadn't been for my lacking half-life, we would have never met. With a gentle smile he would remind me that I was good at my job and that without me, my father would be stuck with second best.

He reminded me that I was strong and that there was nothing I couldn't handle.

He reminded me that he cared.

I needed that _so much_ right then.

Utterly lonely, completely desperate and more than a little drunk, I didn't even stop to think about the consequences before I was picking up my cell phone and dialing Jasper's number. Even if it was only his voicemail, I could hear his silky voice and know that he was out there for me. Scattered and useless, I knew that if I didn't do something, I'd never make it through the rest of the weekend. Calling him, hearing his affectionate murmur, was the only thing that would save me.

I knew he was _working_. I knew what I was doing was wrong…but I did it anyway.

Bringing the phone to my ear, I held I held my breath when I heard the first ring, my heart beating wildly in my chest with anticipation as I waited to hear his smooth voice flitter through the receiver. With my fingers drumming rapidly against my thigh, I bit my lip when I heard the second ring, feeling the hope that had swelled in my chest begin to dwindle away. When I heard the line click, I nearly leapt to my feet with excitement as I waited for his sweet drawled out 'hello'. My galloping heart stuttered to a halt when, instead of the hushed greeting I had imagined, I heard a sound that I would recognize anywhere.

Jasper's laughter.

He was laughing. We were separated, I was heartbroken and lonely, and he was laughing.

His laughter wasn't alone, a rich chuckle suddenly mixed with my Jasper's.

_"You can call them back when I'm done fucking you."_

The voice was deep, husky with arousal as he spoke in a near growl. Gasping, my hand automatically flew to my chest, gripping hard at the bare skin right over my heart in an attempt to keep the shattered pieces in place.

It didn't work.

And then I heard my lover's voice. The same voice I had needed to hear for the previous two days, the voice that filled my very being with joy, the voice of the man I loved with everything in me.

_"Harder, oh fuck."_

He was _begging_ for another man's touch.

I felt my stomach heave violently and I worked to swallow the bile that was forcing its way up my constricted throat. In the back of my mind, I knew I should have hung up to protect myself from further pain but it was happening so fast and my head was spinning.

The deeper voice mumbled something that was too low for me to make out, though I could imagine a number of things it could have been. Just by the tone, I knew he was expressing his want for Jasper and I didn't need to hear the exact words to feel the tremendous amount of pain that hit me as I continued to listen to their lovemaking, sheets rustling, skin slapping and quiet groans.

_"I'm so close, you're gonna make me come, baby."_

"No," I cried out, my nails digging into my chest harder as I felt the tears well in my eyes and spill down my cheeks, a sob leaving my lips before I could stop it.

_Baby. _

_Baby._

That was me. _I_ was his baby…or was I?

"_I'm coming, baby."_

_"That's it, babe, keep coming for me."_

My stomach churned, the muscles contracting as I tried to control myself but it was useless, I just continued to sob quietly, feeling like my heart was literally being ripped from chest. If I looked down at my hand, I knew I would find it covered in torn flesh and blood, a gaping wound where my heart had once been.

_"Please, I need you."_

My love whimpered his desire for another man.

He needed _him_, not me.

I felt the bourbon in my stomach churn. Disgusted and devastated, I dropped my phone and ran to the bathroom, just barely making it to the toilet before I was throwing up, my stomach heaving up the alcohol as my mind kept playing his words over and over and over again, a never ending loop of agony and anguish. The liquor burned my throat as it mixed with the bile and stomach acid on its way out. With tears still pouring from my eyes, my stomach emptied and I fell backwards onto the floor, instinctively curling into a ball and clutching at my empty chest.

I'm not sure how long I lay there trying to regain a bit of strength, steadily crying as my mind conjured up images of exactly everything Jasper and _him _had been doing. There was no difference in his voice, no underlying tone of casualness or deceit. He had spoken the words to_ him_ the exact same way he had said them to me. Had he meant anything he had said to me? Were his words of affection simply his job, a paid escort playing the part of the attentive, caring lover? Was he so skilled he had known exactly what I needed, the soft touch and tender words?

Did I mean anything to him?

I felt my stomach roll again, the weight of that thought causing me more pain that I'd ever known and I quickly draped myself back over the toilet, waiting for another round of dry heaving. When it didn't come, I slowly pushed myself up, trying to regain the use of my shaking legs as I stumbled to the sink to wash out my mouth.

Looking into the mirror, I saw the shell of the man Jasper had left behind, the now empty body lacking a heart and soul.

I was nothing.

_"I want to do something first."_

_His strong fingers prepping me, spreading me. His cock, so thick and pulsing, pushing inside of me._

_"Look at us. Watch me fuck you, Edward."_

_His warmth surrounding me, keeping me safe, making me feel wanted. Cherished._

_Loved._

"Oh God," I whimpered, clenching my watery eyes shut against the images of our first time together. The marble was cold on my bare chest as I sagged heavily onto the vanity, fighting back the onslaught of once pleasurable memories.

It couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real.

Every worshipping touch, every whispered word of need, every beautiful smile and caring gesture...they had all been fake. They had all been part of a grand charade that I paid him for.

Only I wasn't paying for him anymore. In fact, I hadn't paid for Jasper's time in over a month.

Everyday of my fucking life was a charade, except the days I had spent with Jasper. Every time I walked into my office with a smile on my face, every time I told my father that I loved my job, every time I flirted with the right women or created the right amount of publicity had all been planned, every bit of it. It was _my_ role, the part _I_ had to play. I should have recognized the signs; I should have noticed the lies for what they were instead of relishing in the attention that he gave me.

I had always said that Jasper was good at his job. I just had no idea how true the statement was.

Drawing in a deep, shaky breath, I splashed some water on my face, erasing the evidence of my tears before walking back to the living room. I was ready to drink myself into oblivion, hoping that I'd pass out and when I regained consciousness, I'd see that all of this was just a terrible nightmare, a manifestation of my sorrow and loneliness. When I awoke, I would realize that Jasper still cared for me and I was one day closer to being with my love again.

When I walked slowly back out to the couch and spotted my phone still lying where I had dropped it, I knew that I'd never wake up to a happy existence where Jasper loved me back.

Swallowing down the lump that had formed in my throat once more, I picked up my phone and looked at the display screen, shocked to see that the call was still connected. Slowly, fearfully, I brought it up to my ear, bracing myself for more moans of pleasure and pleas for more but there was only silence.

Having been on the receiving end of Jaspers talents, I could only assume they were sleeping; sweaty, sated bodies entangled together, steady breaths washing over sticky skin, hearts slowing together into a contented rhythm.

That should have fucking been me. It should've been my arms around him, holding him tight and keeping him warm. It should have been my hand resting on his chest, feeling those contented heartbeats against my palm. It should have been my body curled around his, melting with him in ways that went beyond physical desire.

Why hadn't I been enough?

"Why?" I screamed, a heavy sob wracking my body as I threw my phone across the room, barely noticing how the pieces scattered and bounced off the wall as it crumbled. Lacking rational thought, I spun around and grabbed the vase from the coffee table, hurling it at the same spot that had just destroyed my Blackberry.

"God damn it, I fucking love you!" I cried, my desperate noises drowning out the sound of the breaking crystal as the water drenched the wall and the flower petals mixed with shards of my phone. Breathing heavily, I stared blankly at my destruction, a million thoughts racing through my mind and the only one I could grasp was that he didn't feel the same. Frantically, I looked for the bottle of bourbon, needing the burn of the liquor to ease the devastation I felt. Turned on its side, I found the bottle lying on the floor next to the couch and I collapsed to my knees, grasping the bottle to raise it to my lips to gulp down the amber liquid.

The burn from it faded too quickly and I felt the rest of my body's energy leave me in the form of more tears, pouring down my face to drip onto my bare chest.

There was nothing strong enough to dull the pain and sense of loss I felt.

Eventually, I crawled onto the couch, burying my face into the cushion as I curled myself in a ball of agony, waiting for my tears to subside. I knew that at some point they would eventually stop, even if it did feel like they were never ending. The worst part was that, regardless if he had been faking or not, I wanted Jasper so much right then. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, I wanted to feel his lips kiss away my tears and soothe my aching heart. I wanted to feel his love, lying or not.

I wasn't sure how long I lay there, my tears finally diminishing and my face drying, the bottle of bourbon almost empty as it dangled from my fingertips to rest on the floor. I fucking prayed for sleep, a few dreamless hours where I knew nothing of heartache and pain, just a short time of peace.

It never came.

A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts and my head jerked up, almost dropping my bottle in the process. In my drunken state, I foolishly hoped it was Jasper on the other side, coming to tell me he had changed his mind, that he didn't mean any of the things he had said during that phone call, that he loved me the way I loved him and that he was going to stay with me forever.

Jumping to my feet, I stumbled from the quick movement and the liquor, and had to catch myself on the table. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I walked as quickly as I could without losing falling and unlocked the door, throwing it open with a smile already forming on my face.

The smile faded as quickly as it had appeared when I came face to face with Spencer.

"Good evening, Edward..." His voice trailed off into a whisper as his eyes slid down my half naked form, greedily taking in my appearance and I heard a very small groan leave his lips before he raised his lust filled eyes back to mine. "You are so fucking-" He tilted his head slightly, studying my face as he smirked. "Drunk."

Without waiting for my invitation, he pushed past me, his fingertips skimming over my abs as he walked into my suite and stood in the middle of the living room like he fucking owned it. His eyes went to the shattered crystal and phone on the floor, then to the water stains on the wall.

"Rough night?" he asked, raising a brow. He glanced over his shoulder. "Wizard of Oz? Really? Trying to relive a missed childhood?"

Too disappointed and intoxicated to be angry, I simply sighed and picked up the remote to stop the DVD. "What do you want, Spencer?"

"I thought we could go out. You know, since you are actually here this evening." He shot me a look full of accusation and I dropped my eyes to the floor, practically shuffling my feet as I finally closed the door. "Oh, come on, Edward, you didn't really think that you were actually sneaking away were you? Give me more credit than that. I knew you were out with your blond boy toy. Each and every time."

"Not that it's any of your fucking business," I spat, walking a few steps toward him to grab the bottle from the coffee table.

"So...since we don't get to spend much time together," he continued, completely ignoring my statement. "I figured we could go out. Have a little fun while were here." He watched as I lifted the bottle. "Though, it looks like you've already started without me."

Since the bottle was back to my lips, I just rolled my eyes and flipped him off with my free hand.

"Mmm, you know how much I'd love to," he purred, sauntering over until his clothed chest was touching my bare one. "Actually, that sounds like much more fun than going to a club. Will you let me show you a good time, Edward?"

His warm hand palmed my soft cock through my pants as his other hand came up to skim across my chest, his fingers brushing over my nipple and I had to swallow down an interested moan. The liquor was affecting my responses and I felt my cock harden from his attention, my body eagerly accepting the pleasurable touch even as my mind screamed for me to move, to kick him out or punch him or both Shaking my head, I finally pulled myself away from and went back to the couch, plopping down and letting my arms fall limply to my sides. When he position himself right next to me, I remained utterly still, the bottle slipping my fingers and onto the carpet as I tried to ignore him close presence. His lips touched my ear as his warm breathed washed over my neck

God damn it, I didn't want this. Did I?

"Please, Edward?" he breathed, sounding a little desperate as he licked over my pulse point. "I'll make you forget about him, I promise. Just let me... let me distract you."

_That _was what I wanted. What I needed.

Though I knew he could never make me forget Jasper, maybe he could take my mind off of him for awhile. After all, Jasper was down in Texas getting fucked and loving it.

Literally begging for more.

Why shouldn't I be able to do the same thing? Jasper blamed being in Texas on his work. Well, fucking Spencer would be for my work too. Keeping Spencer happy meant that I could keep my secret.

If he could do it, so could I.

The bourbon still ran strong through my blood, convincing my body it wanted something my heart didn't. Encouraged by my lack of movement, he climbed into my lap, his body practically melting into me as he leaned into my neck, grinding his already hard cock against mine in an attempt to arouse me. Kissing his way up my neck, his lips moved across my cheek, lingering at the corner of my mouth before tentatively brushing over mine.

I tried to respond, to enjoy the way his body felt against mine but when he sighed into my mouth, his taste was too sweet, reminding even more that he wasn't the right person, the one I wanted most. Turning my head away, he paused briefly before returning to my neck, placing wet, open mouthed kisses over every inch of my skin he had access to.

It was just too God damn intimate, too soft and sensual and slow. I needed to inflict pain, to feel pain, a physical release to take away my emotional grief.

"Stroke me," I ordered in a whisper, lifting myself, and him, to slide my pants down to my thighs.

Immediately, he licked his hand, coating it in spit before wrapping it around my cock and smiling proudly when I moaned at his touch. Twisting his wrist, his thumbed my slit and fingered the ridge of my mostly hard cock, coaxing it to a full erection with his practiced movements.

It felt good, but it still wasn't enough. His grip was too loose and his hands were too soft, lacking the calloused roughness that I fucking craved.

"Harder," I grunted, letting my head fall back onto the couch as my hands fisted at my sides, clutching for something far out of my reach.

"Jesus," he whispered, his voice filled with awe. His astonished remark worked its way through my drunken fog, leaving me cautious about what he was thinking.

Lifting my head, I looked into his eyes. "This isn't about you," I told him honestly, thrusting into his hand instinctively, my body knowingly chasing the release that my mind craved.

"That's okay, it doesn't have to be," he whispered, his eyes never leaving his hand on my cock. "I'll be whatever...whoever you want me to be."

"I'm using you. This means nothing to me," I said, trying to control my breathing so I my voice didn't sound too strained.

"I don't care," he vowed. "I just want you."

That was all I needed to hear.

Pushing him off my lap, I watched as he landed on the floor, looking for like he wanted to snap at me for my action but he only righted himself, kneeling between my spread legs with his ass resting on his heels.

"Suck me," I commanded.

Licking his lips, he leaned forward slowly, trying to appear less eager than he was. I could see it in his brown eyes; the level of desire, the desperate need. I knew it because I had felt it numerous times.

"Fuck, yeah," I groaned when he sucked the head of my cock into his mouth, slouching down a bit more so I could get deeper into his mouth.

Sighing in pleasure, my head dropped back heavily onto the couch again, my eyes falling shut as I tried to focus solely on the warmth surrounding my cock and not the fact that his suction wasn't tight enough or that his eyes weren't the right color. His tongue traced the vein on the underside of my cock and I shuddered, burying my fingers into his too short hair. Tightening my grip, I pushed his head down slowly, just barely resisting the urge to arch up into his throat when I heard him choke.

Jasper could take all of me.

Quickly, I stood up, my movements jostling him until he his back hit the coffee table. Rising back to his knees, he stared at my cock like it was the only thing keeping him alive. My hands fell to his head, my fingers digging into his scalp as I stared down at him. Looking up at me through his lashes, he put his hands on my thighs for leverage.

"Open."

Complying, his jaw relaxed, waiting patiently for me to give him what he most desired. Slowly, I inched my way into his mouth until I felt the head of my cock tap the back of his throat. Without warning, I widened my stance and gripped his head harder, not even bothering to give him time to take a breath before I forced my way down his throat.

"Unh," I grunted, feeling the surge of power race through my veins as he dug his nails into my thighs.

Fucking his face as quickly and as hard as his body would allow, I chased my orgasm, silently praying that it would come soon.

I felt nothing.

No tingling in my balls, no burn in my groin, no signs whatsoever that it was anywhere within reach. Panting and tired, I ripped myself from his mouth, letting my chin fall to my heaving chest as I all but gave up, pulling my pants back up and concealing my cock from his hungry gaze.

Spencer misunderstood, an excited glint filling his damp eyes as he looked up at me. Quickly rising to his feet, his hands fell to my hips.

"Take me to your room and fuck me. Please?" he begged, quickly stripping off his shirt and letting it fall to the floor.

Hopeful that I would be able to find my release inside of him, I nodded, moaning when he paused to kiss along my neck and pinch my nipples. Unable to handle the sickly sweet scent of his shampoo filling my nose, I pushed him away and grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him toward the bedroom. My blood heated, my heart pounded so hard I could hear it in my ears as I entered my room.

It was only my heart I heard.

I could hear the ghosts of my lovemaking with Jasper. I saw us on the bed, the sheets tangled around us as he took me again and again.

_"Touch yourself." _

_Moaning, pulsing, pushing. Bringing me to heights that only he could. _

_"Fuck, that's it. Come for me."_

_Cursing, grunting, groaning. Encouraging me with dirty words and harsh thrusts. _

_"For you, Jasper."_

_Promising, arching, writhing. Giving myself to him completely. _

"God damn it," I spat, pulling Spencer out of the room and slamming the door.

Confused, he looked at me with apprehension but I didn't bother with an explanation, instead I pushed him face first into the wall of the hallway and draped myself over his back. I kept one hand on the back of his neck as the other wrapped around his body to unbutton his jeans. Panting heavily, he turned his head to the side and groaned, arching his back and spreading his legs in invitation.

"Oh god, please, please, please."

Clenching my eyes shut, I gritted my teeth and took a calming breath, pushing away the desire to cover his mouth with my hand. "Shut up," I growled, ripping his jeans and briefs down to his knees.

Fumbling, I wrestled my own pants down, letting them slide to the floor before thrusting my bare cock between his spread cheeks. When my dry movements tugged at the skin on my cock, I quickly spat into my hand a slathered it over my cock, grunting at my own touch.

"Yeah, fuck me, baby," he moaned.

My heart clenched at the familiar, yet tainted term, and I tightened my grip on his neck, squeezing tight enough that I knew it would leave bruises.

"God, just shut the fuck up," I snarled. Pushing his ass against me, he panted and begged for me.

_He_ wanted me.

_He_ needed me.

Without a second thought, I forced my way inside him, gasping at the strangling grip his ass formed around my cock.

It was so tight.

So hot.

It was so much better than the toy I'd used at Jasper's. The heat from being inside him was so fucking intense that I couldn't help the shudder that ran through me. Ignoring his pained groan, I pulled back until just the head of my cock was sheathed, stilling while I scraped my nails down his neck, following his spine until I reached his ass, enjoying the sight of his blood dotting the scratches I left behind. Forcing my way back inside of him, I grunted in pleasure, completely overwhelmed with what I was experiencing for the very first time.

I tried to ignore the fact that it wasn't with who I wanted it to be.

_"You can call them back when I'm done fucking you."_

"No," I whimpered, biting down on Spencer's shoulder to distract myself from the flood of emotion threatening to break free.

"Yeah, take me. Make me yours," Spencer groaned, his voice hoarse with pain and want.

_"Harder, oh fuck."_

Obeying the phantom command, I thrust harder into the willing, pliable body before me, trying desperately to prove myself to someone who wasn't even there. I could be the dominate, confidant top. I could own Jasper's body, made him writhe and beg for me to fuck him.

I could be everything he needed or wanted.

"Edward," Spencer cried, rotating his hips in a way that would have had any other man dropping to his knees to worship the boy before them.

"You'll never be him," I whispered. "You're nothing compared to him."

_"I'm so close, you're gonna make me come, baby."_

Growling, I gripped his hips in my hands and tried, once again, to shut out the hurtful memories as I forced Spencer's back to arch even further, continuing to assault him with my brutal thrusts. The movement felt natural, the instincts of my body taking over as it sought release. My hips fell into a hard, faltered rhythm. Spencer's moans of enjoyment only angered me further; they were too high pitched, too desperate, too out of control.

Everything was just fucking wrong.

"Jasper, I need you," I heard myself whisper.

_"Please, I need you."_

He needed _him_. Him. Not me.

It wasn't my arms he longed for. He wasn't wishing it was my breath he shared. It wasn't my chest his heart pounded against, his voice wasn't raspy from screams of pleasure I had wrought from him, his body wasn't writhing from my touch. All the times I had felt my chest tighten pleasurably from his nearness, every time I felt my stomach flip from his skin touching mine...I thought it had been mutual. I had thought that when he begged for my touch, or wrapped himself around me after making me love to me, that I was the only one who could illicit such reactions from him.

Clearly, I had been wrong.

He wasn't mine.

My eyes stung behind my tightly closed lids with unshed tears and I felt a deep sob escape my throat, my body collapsing forward until my forehead landed on Spencer's right shoulder blade. Leaking from the corner of my eyes, my tears soaked his skin quickly as all of my emotions came rushing from my body. My cock slipped from Spencer's used hole.

"Edward?" he asked, looking over his shoulder. Just as my knees buckled from the crushing weight of my anguish, I felt Spencer spin around and lock his arms around me."Whoa. I got you," he murmured, sliding to the floor with me. "Breathe, beautiful. I've got you. Sshhh."

I sobbed harder into his chest, hating that he was the one comforting me when all I wanted was Jasper. Keeping me in his embrace, he pulled me to straddle his lap, bringing my head to the crook of his neck before pulling my pants back up over my long gone erection as I continued to cry, harder and harder with each passing second.

The man I loved was being fucked while I was being comforted by the man who was blackmailing me.

Heaving, my stomach twisted and I felt Spencer's arms tighten around me, his hands running up and down my bare back softly. He kept murmuring soothing words in my ear, just loud enough for me to hear him over my own wails of distress.

Was love supposed to feel like this?

I had always heard and read that love was supposed to be remarkable, indescribable, fascinating. My parents had always been so happy. My father's eyes always lit up when he saw my mother and never once in all my years could I remember seeing my mother cry over something my father had said or done. If that was what love was supposed to be, then why did I feel like my heart was being ripped from my chest? Why was I in so much fucking pain it was hard to breathe?

I wanted it to go away. All of it.

I wanted to forget my painful memories of his beautiful smile and caring touches, the silk of his voice when he whispered in my ear, his sweet soul that had somehow embedded itself into mine. I wanted his cries of pleasure from another's hands to disappear, his goodbyes to me when he chose his work over us, his sad eyes when he walked away from me.

I wanted it gone.

When I felt Spencer kiss the side of my neck, my sobbing slowed to a shocked stop and I pulled back abruptly, realizing suddenly that I didn't want him to see me weak. I certainly didn't want him soothing me. I wanted him gone too.

"Get out," I snarled, pushing myself off his lap until I felt the floor underneath me once again.

He looked at me sadly and that just pissed me off even more. I did not want his fucking pity. "Edward, I'm sorry-"

"Just get the fuck out," I screamed. Crawling a few paces away, I finally gained enough strength to stand and stumbled my way to the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it. Still with my pants on, I fell into the shower, reaching up to turn on the hot water, praying it could rinse away everything I was feeling.

Once again, sobs wracked my body when I thought of all the times Jasper and I had shared in that shower. With perfect clarity I recalled his soft hands washing my hair or stroking my cock, or when I looked into his beautiful eyes as I sucked him off or bathed his lean body. I could practically feel my hands scratching at the tiles as he took me from me behind.

I didn't think I had any tears left to give but I had been proven wrong.

I sat there, shaking and sniffling, until the water ran cold. When I noticed I was shivering, I finally pulled myself to my feet, not even recognizing the ache in my legs from staying in one position for so long on such an unforgiving surface. By that point, I was numb. The pain so fierce and unyielding that my body just shut down. I couldn't feel anything.

My sadness, my broken heart, my anger...it had all been stripped from me and I had nothing left.

Trembling, I peeled the wet pants off and grabbed a thick terry cloth robe from the bathroom cabinet. Once the belt was tied around my waist, I slowly walked back to the living room, wanting nothing more than to curl up and watch rest of The Wizard of Oz. I realized quickly that that wasn't an option when I saw Spencer was still there, sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, his entire demeanor screaming defeat.

I couldn't even bring myself to care.

"I thought I told you to leave," I mumbled, sitting down on the other end of the sofa and crossing my arms over my chest.

"I did leave. I just came back. I wanted to make sure you were okay," he said, pointing to the key card I had left on the table when I had come back.

"When I said 'get the fuck out', I thought you understood that I meant for good. Did you come back to humiliate me?" My words held no emotion, they lacked the venom I wanted.

He sighed heavily before reaching into his pocket and throwing something on my table. Curious, I leaned forward and grabbed the envelope, a pained gasp leaving me when I looked inside.

My pictures.

For long moments, I sat there in silence, tracing over Jasper's image with my fingers and trying to feel the anger and sadness I had held earlier. I felt nothing but an intense love filling my chest.

"I see now that he is much more to you than just a fuck and I may be a cold hearted bastard but... I wish I had someone that felt for me even a fraction of what you obviously feel for him."

Still too stunned to move, I just looked at him helplessly, trying to figure out if this was some type of game. Was he going to out me now? Make me think that it was over until I would wake up the next day with these pictures plastered all over the front page of the news?

Looking deep into his eyes, I saw nothing but sincerity and a hint of sadness. A very small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when he realized what I was searching for. Slowly, hesitantly, he brought his hand up to cup my cheek, brushing away the tear that had slipped from my eye with his thumb.

"No tears, beautiful," he whispered, his eyes roaming over my face before finally settling on my mouth. Leaning forward, he kissed my cheek, lingering at the corner of my mouth before finally, briefly, touching his lips gently to mine. Sighing against my mouth, I felt his body sag against mine for only a moment before he pulled back and dropped his hand into his lap.

He cleared his throat. "So, am I fired now?"

Although his voice didn't show any signs of fear or worry, I could see it in the way his shoulders trembled.

"No. No, you're not fired."

His head shot up, wide, surprised eyes staring back at me. "You...you're not going to...? But I gave you the pictures back, and I'm, at the very least, guilty of sexual harassment. You have the upper hand."

"While you may be lacking a general set of morals, you're still good at your job," I told him honestly. "Besides, I don't feel like trying to explain why I fired you to my father."

Relieved, he nodded and whispered, "Thank you." He paused, tilting his head as if debating with himself. "Listen, I don't know what's going on with you and…him, but…" he sighed, unsure how to continue.

We fell into silence again as my train of thought went back, of course, to Jasper. I couldn't stop looking at the pictures, remembering that wonderful day they were taken, seeing his smile and hearing his laugh. The level of freedom I had felt that day was something I knew I'd never experience again.

"As fucked up as this may sound, I'm here if you need someone to talk to," Spencer hinted.

I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to close my eyes and fade away.

"Thank you, but I just want to be alone right now."

Without another word, he stood up, only pausing to caress my cheek once more before he was out the door.

I didn't even pretend to be okay. I simply held the pictures tightly in my hand, placing them over my heart, and lay down, letting the tears fall again as I remembered my love.

I knew that no matter what I'd heard, what he had said, I still loved him.

And I always would.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Just remember...Edward is hurting right now, his fragile world is crashing down around him.

So…need to vent? Rant? Yell at me? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter theslashawards

I'd like to announce the BANC (Blackberries Are Not Computers). It's a fund we started to raise money to purchase Dannie (my BFF and soulmate as well as the brains behind M&A) a new laptop. She has been without one for months now and has been writing M&A longhand then typing it on her Blackberry to email it to me for editing etc. (including this chapter) There is no light at the end of her tunnel and while I'd love nothing more than to just buy her one, I can't afford it on my own. A few M&A/WN readers have begun the BANC fund, and we are taking donations to see if we can get the month to purchase a laptop/netbook for Dannie. We are trying to reach 300-350$ and we've got 225$ so far. No pledge is too small (even 1$ is appreciated!) If you are interested in supporting the cause, please PM me or email me at masterjasperwhitlock AT gmail DOT com. You can also find me on twitter under theslashawards.

If you have any questions, please contact me.


	24. The House Came Crashing Down

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Remember how I said that last chapter was the hardest to write? Umm, this one just took that title. Trying to capture Jasper's emotions, keep them all in character and then the end…. Since so many cried over the last Epov, I will warn you, this is an angsty one as well.

Our next update is due on Christmas day, since we don't want to post an emo/angsty chapter on Xmas, Dannie and I are going to do a short fluffy smutty Christmas outtake with the boys that we will post around Christmas (hopefully before). We will resume with the main storyline again on January 8th/9th. We appreciate each and every reader and review and the support this story gets blows us away each and every time. Thank you all so much! We hope you all have a wonderful and safe holiday!

Now let's find out what happened to Riley!

More A/N at the end!

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this, again, above and beyond the call of duty with a 25k chapter.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"Hey there, gorgeous, looking for some company?" the voice asked from inside the dark car. I couldn't see him, but it didn't matter. Shaking my head, I remained silent. "Aw, come on. You look cold and my car is warm," he offered.

I still wasn't convinced.

"Not tonight," I said firmly, my eyes looking over the roof of his car across the street to my target.

"Fifty bucks, all I want is head."

The old me would have jumped at the chance for such easy cash, but now all I did was roll my eyes. I had been so underpaid when I worked the streets.

"I said no," I repeated. "Maybe another time."

"Your loss," he growled and then drove away, making it all of about twenty feet before stopping to try someone else.

With less than an hour before I had to be at a client's, I pushed off the cold brick, shoving my hands further into the pockets of my leather jacket The streets were busier than usual for a Tuesday night. In the three hours I had been standing there at least a dozen guys had tried to pick me up. Pushing my shoulders back, I kept my eyes on him as I crossed the street, hoping my strides didn't betray my nerves.

Since Riley hadn't showed up Sunday night, I had been scouring the streets for him, trying to find someone that could give me concrete information on his whereabouts. Turns out trying to get solid information from drug addicts wasn't exactly easy. Several people had claimed they had seen him but they couldn't remember where or even when.

I fucking hated fucking drugs.

In my pocket I wrapped my fingers around the handle of my knife, realizing I might have to actually use it. It was mostly for show, to scare someone off, which I had done a handful of times while I was living on the streets. The first time had been about a year after I had started hooking when guy threatened me as I was getting out of his car. He'd given me twenty bucks, I gave him head and went to leave. He decided he wanted more for his money and grabbed my sweatshirt as I got out. While I had one foot out the door, he started to pull away. Rather than get run over, I stayed in the car and closed the door before taking out my knife and telling him to pull over.

He did.

I found it ironic that it had been Riley that had told me I should get some protection, and "not of the latex variety," he'd chuckled, and now I was preparing to actually use that protection on someone.

For the past two hours I had been watching James, hoping Riley would show up to pay him or score some drugs, but he never did. Frustrated, I kept my eyes on James, watching the girls saunter up to him after a trick, giving him his take before he'd hand them shit and send them back to work. Not caring if he was alone or not, I walked down the sidewalk toward him. He turned as I approached, a wicked grin on his face.

"Slumming again, Blondie? If you're looking for some work, I can probably hook you up."

"Where the fuck is he?"

"Who?" he asked coyly.

Taking a step closer, I looked down at him, my eyes narrowing when they met his beady black ones. "Don't fuck with me. Where the fuck is he?"

He shook his head, tossing his cigarette to the sidewalk where he crushed it under the toe of his cowboy boot. Slowly, his eyes took in my appearance as they crawled up my legs, paused at my crotch and then finished by landing on my lips.

"Nice boots," he said, his eyes finally reaching mine.

"Where. The. Fuck. Is. He?" I repeated.

"I honestly have no idea who you're talking about, Blondie."

Glancing around us, I took another step closer, my chest almost touching his. The stench of cigarettes and body odor filled my nostrils when I inhaled. "You know who the fuck I'm talking about." I glared at him.

"Refresh my memory."

"Fuck you. Where the hell is he?" I spat, my hands curling into fists in my pockets. It didn't escape me that one of his hands had disappeared into his own pocket.

With a sigh, he took a few steps back and leaned against the corner of the doorway behind him, bracing a booted foot against the brick. "I thought we were friends, Jasper. You used to trust me."

"I've never fucking trusted anyone."

"Except him."

Clenching my jaw, I looked away for a split second. I needed to control myself. Letting James see me fucking pissed was one thing, but I couldn't let him see the worry and fear I felt for Riley. James would just prey on it, scavenging for anything he could get. If he knew what Riley really meant to me, Riley probably would have been dead long ago just to prove a point. As it was, James had upped the price when he'd seen Riley kiss me.

"I don't understand it, Jasper. He's just a fucking hooker. Worse, he's a druggie. What the fuck would you want with him? Why not keep your hard earned money? No one gives a fuck what happens to him anyway."

I did. I gave a fuck.

I didn't answer him, instead, I glanced around me to make sure none of his thugs were coming up behind me.

"What makes you think I've done anything to him anyway?"

"Because you're a fucking asshole," I replied quickly.

"Ouch. That hurts," he said, placing his hand over his heart. "The way I see it, you're behind a week, almost two now, that's a total of four thousand dollars you owe me just to catch up."

"I'll have it at the end of the week," I growled. I was expecting to get paid from Tanya for the trip to Texas in a few days. He nodded and raised his eyebrows.

"Impressive. But that doesn't help Riley right now, does it?" he chuckled.

"So help me if you've done anything to him-"

"What? You'll hurt me with your big bad knife in your pocket? Please, Jasper," he laughed. My fingers clenched the smooth wood tightly and I ran my thumb along the cool metal of the blade. My heart pounded in my chest, my blood raced, pushing heated adrenaline through my veins, igniting every fiber.

"Jasper, you know I've got people everywhere out here. There are three watching us right now. You even begin to take that piece of shit you call a knife out of your pocket and you will not be around to protect your precious Riley."

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath.

"Fuck is right," he agreed in a snarl. "As for Riley, you're boy is just fine. He's been working a little overtime to pay off some extra shit I gave him this weekend."

"Prove it," I growled.

"I don't have to prove shit," he snapped. "But just to show you some good faith, because that's what we do in the business world, as soon as my little errand boy gets back, I'll tell him you're looking for him."

I had no other choice.

"And if that five grand –"

"You said four," I reminded him.

"After giving me such a hard time tonight, it's five, and if I don't have it by Friday, you _will _have to start worrying about your friend."

"Friday," I confirmed. "You better not fucking touch him."

He pushed off the wall and took two long strides toward me, putting his face right into mine.

"Don't you fucking tell me what I will and will not do. Riley is _my_ bitch, not yours, and if I want to fuck him up, I will. There isn't shit you can fucking do about it."

"Just leave him alone," I answered meekly.

Tilting his head, he studied me for a second before speaking again. "He's a pain in my fucking ass. If he didn't bring in so much money, I would have fucked him up a long time ago. I don't know why you've got such a soft spot for the little shit."

"Because you're an asshole and don't know the meaning the word friend."

His laughter was loud and obnoxious. "Friend? You think Riley is your friend? I thought you just liked fucking his sweet ass." He took a step back, his eyes still trained on mine. "And his ass is sweet isn't it? So tight and hot. I love fucking it. He's such a slut when he begs for it. He loves when I come in-"

"Shut the fuck up," I yelled, drawing the attention of the few johns in the cars and the hookers nearby.

"Jasper, I'm going to let you in on a little secret," he said, slinging an arm around my shoulders and I winced. "Riley isn't your friend. Riley looks out for one person only. Himself."

I wanted to tell him he was wrong. Riley had saved my ass more times than I could count and I wasn't going to let him down. I might not have trusted him with my valuables in my house, but I trusted him with my life.

I hoped _I_ wasn't wrong.

"You're wrong," I snarled.

"Whatever. Fuck off then. Go back to your richy rich house. Just be sure you're here on Friday or there will be hell to pay…and Riley will pay the price."

Taking a deep breath, I furrowed my brows. "If I don't see him, have proof he is okay, you don't get shit on Friday."

"I'll give him the message."

"Friday."

Partially relived I had bought a temporary reprieve for Riley, I was still nervous as fuck as to where the hell he was. I took a few steps backwards, slowly putting some distance between James and I without taking my eyes off his hands. When I was far enough away and satisfied he wasn't coming after me, I turned and walked down Fourth Street, my fingers finally loosening their grip on the knife.

"Call me. We'll do lunch," he called out after me. I didn't look at him, but raised my hand and flipped him off. I heard him chuckle. "Anytime, Blondie, anytime."

Pulling out my cell phone, I pressed Edward's number.

"Please answer," I mumbled to myself when I heard it ring. After three rings, I pressed end. "Where the fuck are you?" Pressing another number, I put the phone back to my ear. "Aro, can you meet me at Fourth and Pine?"

"Of course, I'm on my way."

I hung up without a goodbye, or even a thank you, and slipped the phone back into my pocket. While I walked down the familiar street, I let my mind wander back to Edward. Since I had gotten home and Riley hadn't shown up, I had been preoccupied with finding him. I had spent most of Monday night on the streets, asking around to see if anyone knew where he was. After I got home at about four in the morning, I had gone straight to bed, sleeping until well after noon. Once I was up and showered, I tried to call Edward a few more times and emailed him twice.

Nothing.

I had heard nothing from him.

Not that I was counting, but it had been four days, nine hours and thirteen minutes since I had last seen him, talked to him, _felt _him.

The trip to Texas had gone much differently than I had expected. Being with Peter had been easy and comfortable. There was no denying the desire I felt for him, the passion when we were together, the emotions when he gave himself to me.

But it hadn't always been Peter that I'd been thinking about.

My steps quickened down the streets while my mind reeled with Edward, where he was and what he was doing. Most importantly, why couldn't I reach him? Had the trip to Texas upset him more than he let on? I shook my head. No, he knew it was work, he knew I had no choice.

Near the corner of Fourth and Pine, I came to a halt and looked around for Aro. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out, hoping it was Edward. The calendar reminder for my client flashed on my screen and I hit dismiss.

"Hey, love, come 'ere," I heard a velvet voice call out. My chest skipped as my eyes scanned the people standing around me. He was there, he was near, he was calling for me. My eyes skimmed over the faces, not seeing Edward anywhere. Then I saw him, shocking bronze hair a few yards again getting into a cab. Confused the by the woman standing next to him, I jogged up to him, grinning when I put my hand on his shoulder to turn him around.

"Edward," I said breathlessly. "Wait, don't go."

"Excuse me?" the man replied.

He wasn't Edward.

He wasn't even close. His hair was too short, too dark and his eyes were brown.

"Sorry," I mumbled, releasing his shoulder. He helped his wife into the cab and they left. Standing there, I felt a tightening in my chest, clenching at my heart. Stealing my breath, the pull captured me, claiming my entire body as its own. From the grip on my heart to the dizziness in my head and blurry vision, I was its prisoner. Bending at my waist, my stomach churned and twisted. Putting my hands on my knees for balance, I fought for control over my own body.

Then I felt a hand on my lower back.

"Sir? Are you okay?" Aro asked. Unable to speak, I nodded. "Come on," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist and supporting me as he led me to the car. Opening the door, he guided me into the backseat and crouched down on the sidewalk. "Do you need anything? Some water?"

I gasped, my hand covering my heart. I felt the warmth of my flesh and blood as it ran down my hand while I tried in vain to keep my heart from being torn from my chest. I could even smell the metallic scent of my blood.

"It hurts," I cried out, leaning against the seat and clutching at my chest.

"What hurts, Jasper? Where?" Urgently, his hands were all over me. I felt them grazing my forehead, my chest, even pulling up my shirt to check my stomach. He didn't understand. I wasn't wounded like that. It was all inside.

"My heart," I released in a strained whisper.

"Are you having a heart attack?" he asked and I felt him curl his fingers around my wrist, his middle one resting on my pulse. "I'm taking you to the hospital. You're pulse is erratic."

"No, I'm fine," I shook my head. "I've got a client."

"Fuck the client, sir. I'll call Tanya. I'm at least taking you home."

I didn't argue with him.

He left me in the backseat and got behind the wheel, glancing at me in the rearview mirror before I heard him mumbling on the phone. My head lolled to the side and I looked out the window, not actually seeing anything as we passed through the city. The sharp pain subsided to a dull, throbbing ache, my entire body exhausted and limp from the brief battle. Vaguely I felt the warmed metal and smooth crystal under my fingertips as they traced along the face of the watch I wore.

His watch.

Edward had said he wanted to be my home, and he was. I had never had a home. I had never known what it was supposed to feel like until Edward. It didn't matter where I was, as long as my hand was is in, I would be home. Edward might not have physically been in Texas with me, but I had taken him there anyway. He had been in the Teddy at the bottom of the suitcase, the metal clasped around my wrist, the words engraved into watch that rubbed against my skin. Even when I had taken the watch off, I had felt its weight on me. There was no way to ignore the pull, the tug my body felt when I was with him, and the strength and ache it developed when I wasn't. I had never felt such intensity before, ever, with anyone, but with Edward it had been instant, real and raw. The entire time in Texas I had felt out of place, even when I had been wrapped up in Peter's embrace, his legs tangled with mine, I had felt like it wasn't where I was supposed to be. I didn't belong in Texas anymore. It might have been my birthplace but I would never feel comfortable there. The heat and sun had felt nice, and I had unknowingly missed them, but I would trade them for the rainy days any day. While in Texas, I had realized my home wasn't dry dirt or green grass, it was bronze and copper melding together in silky strands, it was emotions disguised as emeralds, it was a crooked smile shared as the sun streamed across a bare back.

Aro pulled to the curb and stopped, quickly getting out before coming to my door and opening it. Waving off his assistance, I got out on my own. He began to head into the building with me.

"I'm okay, Aro, you can go."

He eyed me warily. "Jasper, I don't know if you should be alone right now."

"Actually, I think that is exactly what I need," I sighed. Looking me over, he put the back of his hand to my forehead.

"You don't feel feverish," he muttered. "How's your heart? Still racing?"

"No, it's fine. I'm fine, really. I just need some sleep," I said, hoping I was right.

"You've got my number, you need anything, Jasper, you call me, got it?" he insisted. I nodded and let him pull me into a loose embrace. "I don't know what happened but I know how much it can hurt. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will. Thanks, Aro," I murmured before pulling away.

"Anytime, Jasper."

With a weak smile I turned and headed up to my apartment. I opened the door and went right to the couch where I sat and took off my boots and slipped off my jacket. I loved my apartment, I loved everything about it, the scent of the candle still hanging in the air, the way the moonlight streamed through the tall windows, and most of all, the food that filled my cupboards.

As I sat there on the couch, I knew it had all of those things and more, but it still felt empty.

And even though the heat was on, it felt cold without him.

It's not like Edward was at my place every day, in fact, he had only been there a few nights but he had fused himself with my apartment in that short time. He was everywhere, from the giant piano sitting in my living room to the cap he left off the toothpaste in my bathroom and the pair of pajama pants still on the floor in our bedroom.

He was still inside me.

Pulling my phone out again, I pressed his number, closing my eyes as it began to ring.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," I chatted to no avail. It didn't even go to his voicemail. I got up and went into my bedroom, stripping off my clothes as I went. After pulling on some flannel bottoms, I tossed my phone onto the table and fell onto my bed, my empty hands automatically reaching for Teddy. Clutching him to my chest, I closed my eyes and buried my nose into his fur hoping to catch the faint scent of Edward. The pull returned with a vengeance, my chest constricting impossibly as a sob finally worked its way up my throat and escaped me.

Riley was missing.

Edward was gone.

Even when I had lived in the Home or on the streets, I had never felt as alone as I did then.

Now I knew what it was like to have a friend, a lover and boyfriend.

I was also learning what it felt like to lose them.

I hadn't cried in years. I had learned to swallow the pain, shut myself off, but there, alone in my bed with Teddy, I let the tears roll down my cheeks, each one only encouraging the pull even further.

At some point, I must have fallen asleep because the banging woke me up. I had thought it was my head pounding, but as I gradually woke up, I realized it was a fist on my door. Jumping off the bed, I ran down the hall, knowing it was Edward.

He'd come back.

He would explain why he was ignoring my calls with some silly story and I would bring him back to my room where I would show how much I missed him by making love to him again and again. My heart raced with joy as I slid along the hardwood and skidded to stop in front of my door. Bare-chested and with sleep hair, I slid the deadbolt aside and opened the door.

The second it took me to realize it wasn't Edward was the same second it took me to realize who it was, and the relief flooded through me.

"Jesus," I cried out before grabbing his hand and pulling him forward into a tight embrace. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I buried my face in his greasy hair, ignoring the strong scent of body odor and sex. Instinctively, he returned the hug, his arms winding around my waist, his hands resting on my ass as he lowered his head to my shoulder.

"Well not quite Jesus, but close," he chuckled into my flesh, his breath moist. I drew him in impossibly closer, pressing my body flush with his. I didn't care about the button on his jeans digging into my stomach or the griminess I felt over the thin tee shirt he was wearing. Nuzzling my hair, he pushed it aside and placed a kiss on my neck.

I pulled him even closer.

"But if you keep holding me like this, Jas, and you can call me whatever you want," he said lightly. Clenching my eyes, I reveled in the teasing sound of his voice and the way he felt against me.

Solid and alive.

"Mmm, you feel so warm," he moaned and began kissing his way up to my ear. Hot breath grazed the shell of my ear and I shuddered. Loosening my hold on him, I lifted my head and pulled back. I looked into his dark eyes, full of mischief and sorrow. Without thinking, I brushed my lips across his, feeling his dry, chapped skin before angling my head and deepening the kiss. His tongue plunged into my mouth, twisting with mine briefly before exploring. He groaned, his hands squeezing my ass and I broke the kiss, panting as I put my forehead to his.

"Where the fuck have you fucking been, you fucking asshole?" I gasped. Smirking, he gave my ass a slap before breaking the embrace completely.

"A minute ago, I was Jesus, now I'm a fucking asshole?" He turned and closed my door. "Was the kiss that bad? Am I losing my touch?" He ambled to my couch and sat down, grimacing as his head fell back and he sighed.

"I've been fucking worried about you. You never showed up Sunday," I scolded, the relief at seeing him turning to anger.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I had to run an errand," he said with a heavy breath.

"What kind of errand?"

"I don't want to get into it," he said with a shake of his head. Folding a leg up under me, I sat next to him, our thighs touching as I leaned into his cold body. He was freezing and I shivered. "Jas, why are you holding a teddy bear?"

Confused, I looked down at my hand in his lap, my fingers still gripping the arm of Teddy. I must have taken him with me when I left the bedroom. Shrugging, I set him on the table.

"Wow, I go MIA for a few days and you resort to a teddy bear to keep you company," he almost laughed. "I can pretty much guarantee I'm a better fuck."

"Have you eaten?" I asked before getting up and going to my bedroom where I grabbed the fleece blanket off my bed. When I returned, his eyes were closed, his head turned to the side. "Rile?"

"Hmmm?" He pried his eyes open, holding his arms out for me.

"Want to go to bed?"

Nodding, he stood up and I grabbed Teddy. Leading Riley to the bedroom, I entered and placed Teddy on the table. Riley stood next to the bed and peeled off his shirt before tugging down his jeans, leaving him naked.

"What the fuck?" I gasped when I saw his nude body. He glanced at me over his shoulder. Tentatively, I reached out to his back, my fingers skimming along the marks. There were long thin scratches running the length of his back with about a dozen scattered small red circles, the skin in the middle of them raised like a cigarette burn. Covering his ass and the top of his thighs were stripes, some thin, some a few inches wide. His skin was raw and bleeding in a few places and I could feel the heat radiating from the wounds. Glancing at his arms, I saw what appeared to be rope burns around his wrists. Immediately, my eyes went to his ankles where I found the same marks.

"Jesus, Rile, babe, what happened to you?" I asked, placing my forehead between his shoulder blades and running a hand up his arm. Guilt over leaving him for the weekend ran through me. I should have made him go to a hotel. I should have let him have my place.

I should have fucking done _something_.

Riley was a lot of things; a whore, drug addict, thief, liar, but he hadn't deserved whatever he'd gone through. I was paying two grand a week to keep him alive, but apparently it wasn't enough to keep him safe.

Raising my head, I turned him around, sighing when I saw the small circles and welts on his chest as well. As I looked lower, I saw nail marks on his hips right where someone fucking him from behind would have held him. The flesh on the top of his thighs was raised and red. "We need to get you cleaned up."

Slowly, he lifted his hand to my cheek. "No. Let's sleep," he mumbled before moving away and crawling into my bed to lie on his side. Moving to the other side of the bed, I climbed under the blanket and mirroring his position, faced him. Reaching up, I brushed his hair off his face and tucked it behind his ear. He tried to smile but his eyes fluttered closed before he could. Moving as close to him as possible, I rested my hand on his hip, my thumb stroking the bone poking through his dirty skin. "Jas?"

"Yeah?"

"How was Texas?"

I sighed and closed my own eyes. "Let's sleep," I finally replied, quoting him. He nodded and nestled his head in the crook of my neck, his breath washing over my chest.

"Jas?"

"Yeah?"

"I lost your coat," he mumbled sleepily. Smiling, I pulled him closer, my eyes drifting shut. I could tell him in the morning that his coat was in my closet.

The sounds reminded me of my childhood. There was laughter and a television playing cartoons. Sinking further into the bed, I stretched and reached my arm out for his warm body and felt nothing but fur. Opening an eye I saw Teddy lying on my bed where Riley had been. Just then a naked body streaked by my door down the hall. Yawning, I sat up and rubbed my eyes before reaching for my phone to see if Edward had called. My chest ached when I saw the only message was a text message from Tanya asking how I was and if would be working that night. Quickly, I replied with a 'fine and yes' and then put my phone back on the table.

Riley appeared in my doorway. He was still naked, his cock hanging limp and heavy between his legs as he gingerly folded his arms across his chest. "I'm going to take a shower. Wanna join me?"

Nodding, I took Edward's watch off and climbed out of bed, dropping my pants to the floor before following Riley into the bathroom. He had already turned the water on and the steam was thick in the air. I held the door for him, eyeing his back and ass as he walked by me. The stripes across his ass had faded a little, but the scratches on his back looked deeper than they had in the dim light of my bedroom the night before. Immediately, he stepped under the spray, smiling as the hot water run down his face and body.

"Fuck, that feels so good."

I got in and closed the door, moving under the water with him. "Doesn't it hurt?"

"Burns like a motherfucker," he replied quietly. With his head tilted back, he wet his hair and then grabbed my shampoo.

I just stood and looked at him, just thankful I was able to watch him do something as simple as wash his hair. His motions weren't practiced, they weren't quick and efficient, but he managed to get his hair lathered and then rinsed it out. He turned to reach for the body wash and I cringed when I saw his back again. The welts were raised and a deep red from the moisture. His ass was completely raw, but unlike his back, the skin didn't appear to be broken.

"Rile, what happened to you?" I whispered, my eyes not leaving his battered body. I was amazed his face was unharmed. No black eyes, no swollen lip or broken nose. He released a long sigh, his shoulders sagging.

"Jas…" he began but stopped, keeping his eyes averted from mine. Instead, he concentrated on running the soapy sponge over his arm. I grabbed his forearm and took the sponge from him.

"Tell me," I insisted as I began to wash him. Slowly, methodically, I ran the sponge over his chest, carefully avoiding the fresh burn marks before running it along his arms and shoulders. Dropping his chin to his chest, he watched me while I kneeled before him, the lathered puff in one of my hands while the other rested lightly on his hip.

"While you're down there…" he smirked. Glancing up at him, I took his cock in my hand, feeling it twitch against my palm. Washing it, I squeezed the sponge behind his balls and down the insides of his thighs. Standing, I turned him around and shook my head.

"I'm going to fucking kill him," I mumbled, not even knowing where to begin. There wasn't one spot of flesh that remained unmarred.

"It wasn't him."

"Then who the fuck was it? Tell me so I can kill him too," I growled, anger rising inside me.

"It…It's not a big deal. It's done. Over," he murmured. I could hear the gratefulness in his tone, but it didn't soothe me.

"I don't give a fuck if it's over, tell me what the hell happened to you," I growled. As gently as possible, I dabbed the sponge to his skin, his body stiffening immediately. "Sorry," I apologized when he hissed. "Tell me," I reminded him.

"It was one fucked up weekend."

"Fucked up how?"

"First, I had this weird guy that wanted me to ride him in the back of his van and yell 'giddy up, cowboy'," he explained, shaking his head. "What kind of fucked up thing is that?"

"You should see some of the shit I have to do."

"Then this woman picked me up, offered fifty bucks for me to go down on her. Now, you know me, I'll do just about anything for money, even _that_," he chuckled. "So she shimmies out of her skirt and undoes her shirt. She's got these huge tits, I mean poke your fucking eyes out big. She moves so she is sitting sideways in the seat and spreads her legs. I lean over and close my eyes, kinda preparing myself, and a cock hits me in the face. She wasn't a woman at all, she was a fucking dude. With tits!"

"The marks, Rile?"

"I'm getting there. Don't fucking rush me, you wanted to know," he scowled. Kneeling again, I stared at his ass, trying to figure out a way to wash the wounds without having to touch them. It was going to sting no matter what I did.

"After her, um, I mean him, I had a regular, good ole fashion fuck in the alley. Just as I'm walking out, I hear this familiar voice, right? I mean, I couldn't fucking believe he was there."

"Who?" I asked, looking up.

"You know who," he laughed, looking at me over his shoulder.

"No, I don't."

"He didn't tell you?"

"Who tell me what? You're not making any fucking sense," I said, growing frustrated.

"Fuck, that fucking hurts," he yelled, jumping forward out of my reach when I touched the sponge to his ass. Grabbing his hips, I pulled him back to me.

"Try to hold still."

"Jesus," he said through gritted teeth. I saw his hands fist at his sides and he let out a long hiss.

"Just a bit more," I apologized, barely touching his inflamed skin. "So who did you see?"

"I figured he would have told you when you guys talked," he said, almost shrugging. I furrowed my brows as I finished with his thighs and moved to his calves.

Riley only knew one person I talked to and that was…

"Edward went to see you?" I asked, my body bolting upright. Riley turned to face me.

"Yeah, didn't he tell you?"

"When?"

"I don't know. Whenever you two fucking talk I guess," he said, shaking the water from his hair.

"No, I mean, when did you see him?"

"Oh, um…what's today?"

"Wednesday."

He thought for a minute. "Um…Fr-no, Satu-no, definitely Friday night."

"Was he okay? Was he hurt? How did he find you?" I blurted out.

"Why do I feel like I'm on one of those fucking trivia shows where you have to answer the questions really fucking fast?"

I just stared at him.

"Right, you don't know what the fuck I'm talking about," he sighed. "He was fine, not hurt and I don't fucking know. I told him I worked Fourth Street, guess he remembered. My question is why didn't you know already?" I closed my eyes and dropped my chin. "Jas?"

"I haven't talked to him since the day I left. He came over that morning and we made love, but I haven't seen or talked to him since. I've tried to call him but he won't answer. No emails, webcam. Nothing."

"Oh." He paused. "Well, that sucks. I thought he was your boyfriend?" he asked with a tilt of his head.

"Me too," I sighed. "I don't know what the fuck is going on, Rile."

When I looked up at him, I know he saw that the water on my face wasn't entirely from the shower because his eyes softened and he wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling my head to his shoulder.

"Why won't he answer my calls?" I began to cry on his shoulder. I felt his hand in my tangled hair, patting it down. I wanted to cling to him, pull him tightly to me, inhale his fresh scent and warmth and let him make it all go away, but I didn't want to hurt him anymore than he already was.

"I don't know, angel. Work maybe?" he mumbled into my hair.

"How was he when you saw him?" I asked, my lips moving against his wet skin.

"Honestly? He was fucking lost. And I don't mean just literally. There was something desperate about him, Jas. He was there to rescue me, wanted me to go back to his hotel with him. Keep him company." His shoulders rose when he laughed. "He offered to let me shower."

That almost made me smile.

"Did you go?"

"Nope. I resisted. Just about fucking killed me though. God damn, he's got a great ass. I just wanted to… well," he trailed off and cleared his throat, "ya know."

That time I actually did smile, my lips curling up against him.

"Yeah, I know." I lifted my head and looked at him, his hands still resting on my shoulders. "Did he say anything about me?"

He shook his head. "No. I said I didn't think you'd like it if I went with him and he said you wouldn't mind. When I told him I had to stay out there to make money, he offered to pay me."

"And you refused?"

I didn't give a fuck what James said, Riley was my friend. He was proving it to me there in my shower.

"Yeah," he sighed, but I saw the smirk teasing his lips. "Aren't you proud of me?"

"Very. What else?"

"Um, not much. He asked a few questions. Wanted to know if I used a condom when I fucked." Riley stepped back under the stream to rinse the soap off him before he moved to the side and let me wash. Much quicker than Riley, I washed and rinsed my hair before moving onto my body. I saw the naked hunger in his eyes as he watched me bend over to run the sponge down my legs.

"Fuck, I love watching you move," he murmured and my cock twitched at the uncontained need in his voice. Even if I wanted to fuck him, there would be no sex for Riley until his wounds healed. I gave him a small smile and finished up before opening the door. I handed him a towel and watched him flinch when he ran the terrycloth over his body. My body was heavy, stuck in one spot while I gazed at him, my heart thick with the pull and guilt. "It's not so bad," he said, trying to relieve the guilt I unashamedly wore.

"I'm going to kill whoever the fuck did that you to you, Rile," I said, the venom pouring into each word.

"No, you're not. You're going to leave it alone, Jas. Don't make it worse, it won't help. You know this shit happens. I'm here, I'm fine. You need to just forget about it."

Clenching my jaw, I finished drying off and threw the towel in the laundry basket before walking out of the room, leaving Riley alone. Back in my bedroom, I pulled on the flannel pants I'd slept in and then sat on the bed, pulling Teddy into my lap.

When had things gotten so fucked up? Getting off the streets was supposed to make my life easier, not harder. I was warm, I had fresh food anytime I wanted only a few steps away. Fuck, I even paraded around in designer clothes. I knew the difference between the clean lines of Armani versus the flashy look of Dolce and Gabbana, and I could spot Ralph Lauren's distinct style a mile away.

Along with this new useless knowledge, I had learned that fucking wasn't always just fucking. Even when clients wanted something kinky like bondage or dress up, they wanted it for a reason. There was something missing their lives, a void, and they were paying me to fill it.

That was my job. I filled voids.

I had done the same thing on the streets, only I had been paid a lot less for it.

Is that all I had done for Edward? Had I only been someone that filled a void in his life? His closeted life in Chicago left him hungry for a man's touch. With me, he got that touch, and so much more. It had never dawned on me that maybe he didn't want more. Maybe my touch, my cock, was all he'd ever wanted and everything else had been cunning words and actions to get it. Edward was a businessman, a manipulator of his world to get what he wanted, to get others to do what he wanted.

He was a professional.

After all, he wasn't paying me anymore. He was getting it for free. Perhaps the gifts, the sweet words, were only to keep me around. Shaking my head, I brought Teddy up to my face.

_Teddy. _

_The watch._

_I hope that maybe you might think of me as your home._

But I'd seen it in his eyes, the same thing I saw when I stared into the mirror, the reflection of us looking back at me. I knew it was the only the pull, me missing his presence, but I known I'd seen it in his eyes too.

I fucking knew he felt it. He had to.

But if he did, then why hadn't he called?

My mind raced in circular logic, the pain in my chest surely matching the pain Riley felt from his wounds.

_Riley. _

He had been the one that had shown me how to survive on the streets, never once turning his back on me when I needed him. Even after I had exposed my past to him, he just hugged me and said 'I'll take care of you', and he had kept his word. Where had his friendship with me gotten him? My leaving the streets had put his life in danger. I lived off fine restaurant food while he lived off the leftovers they threw away and soup kitchens. I slept in a warm bed every night while he curled up in a ball in an abandoned building. I was working to pay off a debt I didn't owe to keep him alive. Some might say that was loyal.

I disagreed.

If I'd never left the fucking streets to begin with, if I hadn't been so selfish to jump at the chance to have it all, Riley's life wouldn't hang in the balance.

Then there was Peter.

In Texas, I'd felt his love. A security, a promise of a future with everything I'd ever desired and more. In his arms, I felt safe. He gave me a confidence I had lacked my entire life. In bed, I knew I was good. I had learned my trade well, but beyond sex I was clueless. I had to learn simple things like how to get a cab or what to do at an airport, even ordering takeout food for me the first time had been an experience. Peter was willing to take the time to show me all these things, to teach me and let me learn at my own pace. He had promised no pressure, but I knew he was waiting for me to express the feelings he hoped I had.

And if I was being honest with myself, I did have them.

I enjoyed being with him, I enjoyed his body and mind, the way he read me so well and took control of any situation only if he felt I needed it. In no way could I deny the way he made my body yearn for his, my heart raced at his touch, my cock hardened with just a word or craving look from him. I would never want for anything with Peter. Life would be easy, simple and pleasurable in just about every way.

He was giving and caring and generous…and he loved me.

There was only one thing Peter wasn't.

And that was Edward.

But Edward didn't want me.

Peter did.

"Jas?" Riley said from the doorway. I looked up, a fresh round of tears freely rolling down my cheeks. Without another word, he walked over and sat next to me, putting his arm around my neck and pulling me to him. Silently, not even with comforting sounds, he moved us so we were lying on the bed, our bodies pressed together with Teddy squished between us. Riley's naked body was still damp, his hair dripping and running down his jaw and onto my cheek as I buried my face into the bend of his neck. His hands ran up and down my back as I sniffled and whimpered against him. He didn't make a sarcastic comment or try to turn it sexual.

He just held me.

I don't know when I woke up, but I was still in his warm embrace. There were heavy, steady breaths on my forehead and I snuggled even closer, pulling a flattened Teddy out to do so. Next to me, Riley stirred, releasing a slight moan of pain when his body remembered its punished state.

"Do you have to work tonight?" he mumbled, his eyes still closed.

"Yeah. I have a client at ten."

"What time is it?"

Sighing, I rolled onto my back to look at my clock. "One."

"Hungry," he stated. "Pizza?"

With a sniffle, I nodded and reached for my phone and ordered a pizza.

"C'mere," he groaned, reaching for me again. He turned me so my back was pressed to his chest and he slung a leg over mine. Brushing my hair aside, he kissed my neck. "Ya know, I don't think we've ever been in bed and not been fucking. Must be a record or something."

"We've slept together before," I corrected him.

"Sure. After we fucked," he corrected me right back.

"True," I smiled.

"Jas?"

"Hmmm?"

"You can fuck me if it'll make you feel better," he offered quietly. "If it'll help you forget."

My heart swelled, and if his arm hadn't been wrapped around me, if his hand hadn't been resting over my heart, it would have fallen from me.

"Thanks, Rile, but I don't think it'd help," I told him honestly. For the time in my life, fucking couldn't solve my problem.

"Sure? I hear I'm pretty good," he hedged, his breath soothing me as it brushed over my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I sighed.

"Well," he moved his lips to my ear. "It's an open offer, angel. Anytime…"

My body responded to his words, his touch, his cock hardening against my ass long before my mind had wrapped around his offer. All I had to do was close my eyes, just feel his body melding to mine, feel his needy breaths, inhale his heady scent and let my cock sink into his tight ass.

He was right. For a few moments, I could forget it all.

Edward. Peter. Texas.

Everything but the willing, writhing body next to me.

I was tempted.

My body was more than tempted when his hand brushed over my cock, palming it briefly through the thin material before moving to settle on my hip. Riley's seduction was strong, a powerful force that engulfed me.

But he let me decide. He put the offer on the table and then stepped back from it. The kisses he was leaving all over my shoulders were just a reminder of what he was willing to do for me. Turning my head, I captured his lips in a long, lingering kiss. Our lips met repeatedly as I rolled onto my back and curved a hand around his neck, keeping him to me. His tongue didn't tease me, rather it hesitantly entered my parted lips, only seeking out mine when I moaned into the kiss. Moving his body partially onto mine, he deepened the kiss even more, his hips grinding against me. Aware of his back, I kept my hand on his side, my fingers dancing along the goose bumps my touch created. Fisting his hair, I groaned when I felt his hand run down my chest and rest on my growing cock.

"Fuck," I muttered into the hot air between us, pulling on him, desperately needing him even closer than he already was. I needed his body, his heat, to fuse with mine, to erase the ache I felt, to fill that void that I filled so often for others. My hips thrust up to meet his hand and I didn't stop him when he pushed my pajamas aside and took my cock into his grip. Leaving my lips, he moved his mouth over my jaw, down my neck, forcing my head to angle away from him. I shuddered, trembling with the want of more.

"Make me forget," I begged. I felt him nod against me before he tugged on my cock harder. Responding to his skilled touch, my cock pulsed when his hand began a steady rhythm. My body felt good, my cock was hard, my heart was racing, my muscles craved the release he could provide them. Crying out when his mouth found my nipple, I arched my back, my hands tugging at his hair, begging for more.

"Let me make you feel good, Jasper."

I nodded slightly, my body encouraging him further with groans and labored breaths. I knew in a second I would feel his lips around my cock and the tight suction of his throat bringing me the pleasure my body sought. I felt his own erection against my thigh as he thrust against me, and I reached between us to take him into my hand.

"So fucking good," he sighed when my hand grazed over the head of his cock. "Take me." He released me and sat up to pull my pants down my legs and off. He reached for the drawer, opening it and pulling out lube and a condom. As he straddled my thighs, I began to shake my head but he rolled the condom onto me. I watched him, the abuse he'd sustained for the past few days marking his chest. I wanted to reach out and stop him, tell him no.

Instead, I licked my lips while he prepared himself.

Instead, my hands fell to his hips to guide him as he impaled himself on me.

Instead, I threw my head back and groaned as his ass swallowed my cock until he was grinding on me.

He was right.

He could take it all away.

But when we were done, after I had used him and pulled out of him, it would still be there.

The pain, the emptiness, the pull. It would all be there, just waiting to haunt me again.

Clenching my eyes, I closed out the memory of another riding me the same way only a few days before. Digging my nails into Riley's hips, I forced myself to forget the look of sheer happiness and contentment on Edward's face when I had opened his presents. Crying out Riley's name, I made myself not recall the feeling of Edward's hand in mine, our fingers entwining so perfectly.

"That's it," he soothed, running a hand through my hair. "Just feel me, baby."

_Baby_.

Snapping my eyes open, I looked up at Riley. Sensing something, he slowed his movements on my cock and brushed his fingers along my cheek, smearing the tear that was running down my face.

"Ssshh," he whispered. "It's gonna be okay."

My chest tightened, agony roaring through me to escape in the form of a loud wail. Immediately, Riley fell forward, his arms wrapping around me as he pulled me up toward him until I was almost upright with him sitting in my lap. My fingers clawed at his injured back in a desperate attempt to crawl inside him, to get closer. I let him hold me while I cried, my softening cock eventually slipping from his ass.

"I wish I knew what to do," he scolded himself under his breath. Like me, Riley thought all problems could be solved with fucking. It could get you food, money, drugs, even a place to stay for the night.

But it couldn't make me forget.

It felt like it was hours before I loosened my hold on him, my fingers finally releasing their grasp on his shredded skin. Lifting his head from my shoulder, he looked at me, taking in my red, swollen eyes and tear-stained face. I had cried more in the last day than I had in two years. I didn't like it, it made me feel weak but I couldn't help it. Every time I thought of Edward I was overwhelmed.

"Did you hear that?" he asked, tilting his head. I was just about to say no when I heard the banging on the door. "Food!"

Climbing off me, he ran out of the room and down the hall.

"Rile, money," I called out after him. I heard him shuffling in the living room, probably getting money out of my desk, and yelling to the pizza guy that he'd be right there. Then I heard the door open and a minute later, Riley appeared in my doorway with a pizza box in his hand.

He was still naked.

"Did you answer the door like that?"

"Yeah,"

I shook my head. "Did you at least tip him?"

"Of course. He got to see my cock, didn't he? That was his tip," he smirked before handing me the pizza. "Be right back."

And he was, with two beers.

Sitting in front of me, he handed me a beer and opened the pizza box, moaning when he inhaled the scent. Without waiting for me, he picked up a slice and folded it, taking a huge bit off the end. His eyes rolled back into his head.

"Oh my fucking God," he mumbled about the food. "Best food ever."

I tilted my head and watched him eat and sip his beer.

Never did I dream that I would be sitting naked in the middle of a kind sized bed watching Riley eat a pizza. It wasn't that long ago we were scrounging for pizza crusts and now we were warm, comfortable and eating full slices.

"Aren't you gonna have some?" he asked with a raised brow. "Cuz if you don't, I'll totally eat the whole fucking thing." Having barely finished the first slice, including the crust, he reached for another.

Hesitantly, I picked up a slice and folded it.

He moaned and licked the sauce from his lips. "So fucking good."

"Don't eat so fast you're gonna-"

"Get sick, yeah, yeah, I know. Don't fucking care right now though."

"Rile, when was the last time you ate?" I finally took a bite of the pizza. He shrugged, purposefully avoiding my eyes by staring at his food. "Friday?"

Finally, he dragged his eyes up to mine. "I ate Saturday night. Edward had given me some money Friday so when I was done for the night, I got my shit and then went to the convenience store and picked up some food."

"And since then?"

Finishing his second slice, he shook his head. "I was busy though, barely noticed." He reached for another slice and I put my hand on his wrist, immediately letting it go when I felt the raw skin of his rope burns.

"Rile, that was days ago."

"Not a big deal."

"Tell me what happened to you."

Sighing, he took a long gulp of beer. "Can we wait until after I've eaten?"

"That bad, huh?" In defeat, his shoulders lifted and then fell. "Gonna fucking kill him," I growled.

I finished one slice to Riley's five, and had barely finished my beer before he was getting a second. I smiled when I heard him belch in the kitchen, followed by a loud 'excuse me' before the refrigerator closed. When he came back, he crawled onto the bed and moaned.

"Full?"

"Nah, I just made room for more, didn't ya hear me?"

"You're stalling."

Lying on his stomach, he folded his arms and buried his head in them. I sat next to him, my eyes never leaving the marks on his back. Some of the wider ones had faded a bit, but his ass was still pink and welts still covered the length of his back. The cigarette burns looked like they were beginning to heal, but I noticed there were some wider burn marks as well.

"Jas," he murmured, his voice was muffled but I could hear the tremor in it. "Promise you won't do anything stupid?"

"No," I answered quickly. Lifting his head, he put his chin on his arms and looked up at me.

"Why do you insist on protecting me? You know I can handle myself."

"I know you can, but sometimes the odds aren't even or fair, Rile. You know that. He takes advantage of you, of your…"

"Addiction."

I nodded and looked away from his sad brown eyes. He'd been with me for almost ten hours and he'd been clean the entire time. Sometimes I wondered if he could quit on his own, but I knew the lure of the drugs, I had witnessed it firsthand for years.

Riley used them to forget.

And who could blame him.

But instead of getting high to forget the awful shit that had gone down over the past few days, he had to come to me. He was letting me be his drug and all I was doing was making him relive whatever had happened.

Staring at the bed, he sighed and then began. "I sent Edward home and got a trick as soon as I crossed the street. I got into the guy's car and had him drive down Fourth Street."

"Why?"

"So I could follow Edward for a few blocks, make sure he got out of the red light district okay. Anyway, once Edward caught a cab, I had the guy pull over in a parking lot, gave him a quick blow job and then got out and walked back. Rest of the night was fine until I went to see James. Turns out someone gave him some really good shit. Expensive, pure, uncut. He had it on him and showed it to me. Jas, I swear I wanted it so bad that my body just started fucking convulsing right there. Course, he gives me the shit and I give him the money I had. What I'd made and some of Edward's. He said it was enough, so I left, got some food and went to the docks. The shit was…aw, man, it was fucking incredible. I was fucking flying high for hours, and when I came down, it was like I hadn't been high at all. There were no shakes, no getting sick, nothing, I just came down. So of course, I wanted more. Saturday I tried to pick up some johns during the day and ended up running into James again. I told him how good the shit was, he said he had more and I…took it. I couldn't resist."

Reaching over, I pushed his hair back off his face.

"I guess it's costly and I didn't make enough because he said I owed him a grand for it. A fucking grand!" His voice rose. "I mean, he gave me a decent amount, but a grand? Would take me fucking forever to make a grand, but you can't owe James money because he'll beat the shit out of you, so I got a little fucking scared. You weren't around and I didn't know what to do. He offered to let me work it off by doing him a favor. A little trip. He said if I went and did what I was supposed, then he'd call us even."

"Where?"

"I don't fucking know. Some of his goons drove me. I left your coat behind a dumpster and got into their car." His eyes closed and I saw him steeling himself for what he was about to say.

"Where'd they take you?"

"Do we have to, Jas? Seriously, let's just forget it happened, okay?"

"Rile," I sighed.

"Fine, but you need to promise first."

"I promise."

"I don't believe you."

"I still promise, now tell me."

Keeping his eyes closed, he continued. "They drove about an hour to some guy's house in the middle of the fucking woods. Like a cabin or something. I get out and go inside with the goons and there are about eight guys there, all shirtless. Some had pants on, some had just underwear. I thought it was an orgy and I would have been totally been down with that. No a big deal, right? The goons tell me I had to do whatever they wanted and they left to go wait in the car or something. The guys inside seemed alright, offered me some beer, asked my name, where I was from. But after the first ten minutes, it went downhill." Pausing, he sat up. "Jas….really, can we…"

Ignoring him, I lay on my side and faced him. Slinging a leg over his, I pulled him closer, until I could feel his breath on my arm.

"It wasn't an orgy, was it?" I saw the answer in his eyes before he shook his head.

"Some sort of sick BDSM thing. I don't mind the kink, I'm all for some bondage but the shit they did, Jas…"

"The marks?"

"When they led me into this other room, there was a bench there. They had me strip and then tied me to it with ropes. Caned me a few times, whipped me, paddled me. At first, it wasn't so bad, I thought I could handle it but it started to fucking hurt after awhile and I screamed my fucking ass off. They just did it harder. Never fucking once even asked me if was okay."

"Aw, fuck, Rile." I leaned forward and kissed his arm.

"Fucked me. A lot. Every one of them, whenever they wanted. I stayed tied up the entire time. I'd be falling asleep and then feel one of them shoving his dick into me. My ass, my mouth. I lost track how much BJs I gave. I sucked one off while another paddled me until the guy came. They only moved me to flip me over so they could fuck me that way too. Never fucked each other, just me."

"Condoms?"

"Yeah and usually lube."

"The circles?"

"Cigarettes mostly I think. One would fuck me while another burned me. Something about making me move and my ass would get tighter for the one fucking me. They used some sort of electric prod thing too, but I don't know if it made any marks. They didn't feed me, barely gave me water. The goons finally picked me up, brought me back to Seattle. I walked here after they dropped me off at the docks."

"Riley," I sighed, really not knowing what else to say. "Fuck, if I hadn't gone to Texas. If I'd been here…"

"It wouldn't have mattered. I took the shit, I had to pay for it. You being here wouldn't have changed that."

"Maybe I could have stopped you."

Riley snorted but didn't say anything.

I'd failed Riley. He had needed me and I wasn't there for him. As I stared at his full lips and ran a hand over his collarbone to one of the burns, I vowed to never leave him alone again. We'd both seen some pretty fucked up shit on the streets, but what he'd gone through rivaled that of the Home. I hadn't been able do anything as a kid, I had to suffer through it, but I could do something now. I bolted upright and jumped off the bed, heading right for my dresser. I pulled off my pajamas and as quick as I could, I grabbed my jeans and put them on.

"Jas, don't."

I ignored him and opened my drawer for a sweatshirt. Weakened arms wrapped around me, pinning my own arms to my sides in a tight band. He rested his forehead on my back.

"Please, don't. You promised."

I let him hold me even though I could have easily broken free.

"Let me go," I sighed and he shook his head against me. "Rile, fucking let me go. I need to do this. I need to end this."

"It won't end, you know that. It never ends for people like us. This is what we do, Jas. We survive, we just make it from one day to the next."

"If I kill him, it will end."

"And you'll be in jail. Where will that leave me? I need you, Jasper." He loosened his grip and turned me in his embrace. Winding his arms around my neck, he pressed his lips to mine. "I need you," he repeated.

My body gradually relaxed in his hold and I sighed. "I need you too."

"It was one time. A few days, I'll be fine."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," I apologized.

"I know. Speaking of, it's your turn. Tell me about Texas."

There was no getting out of it. He dragged me to the bed, pushed the pizza aside, and then lay me down. He lay next to me on his side, resting his head on his arm. I began to tell him about Peter and the trip, everything from the airport to meeting Peter's mama.

"You met his mother?" he gasped and I nodded. "Shit, Jas, that's some pretty serious shit."

"What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "I forget about your fucked up life sometimes. Meeting the parents is a big step in a relationship. But I don't get it, this dude is just a john, right?"

"Not anymore." He quirked a brow as he ran his fingers through my hair. "He told me he loved me," I whispered.

"WHAT?" I'd never seen his brown eyes get so big. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Yeah."

"Did you say it back?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't know what love is, Rile, you know that. Even if I did, people like us don't fall in love. We survive, just like you said."

"Was he mad?" he asked, curious.

"Nope, said he would be patient and wait for me."

"Holy fucking shit," he mumbled, then leaned back a bit. "Wait, let me get this right. You've got two fucking rich guys after you and I'm alone living on the streets? What the fuck? Fucking share with the rest of the class, Jas. Not like you can handle both of them."

"Oh, and you could?" I almost smiled.

"Hell, yeah," he grinned and reached for his cock, holding it up. "Who wouldn't want me?"

Shaking my head, I chuckled and then exhaled a long breath. "What am I going to do? Edward won't talk to me, Peter wants something I don't think I can give him." I looked at him, all brown hair and dark eyes. Riley was always exactly as he presented himself. He never pretended to be anything but a whore, unlike me.

Simple Riley.

"When did life get so fucking complicated? It wasn't this hard out there," I groaned.

"I think it comes with the money," he guessed. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Do you love someone else?" I furrowed my brow but before I could ask him what he meant, he continued. "Jas, the only shit I know about love is what I've seen in movies. I've never been in love, fuck I wouldn't know love if fucked me hard, but…well, maybe the reason you don't love this Peter guy is because you're in love with someone else." He paused, letting his words sink in before he bit his lip, debating on continuing. "Like Edward."

My eyes snapped to his and I just stared at him, slowly shaking my head.

"Not possible."

"Why not? Because love isn't for us?" he mimicked me. "I don't think love cares where you live or what you job is, angel. It's kinda like cancer that way."

"I…it…"

"Come on, Jas. You let the guy in your fucking home. You get him a fucking piano. You call him your boyfriend. You're fucking crying because he hasn't returned your phone calls. Like I said, I don't know shit about love, but that sounds a lot like fucking love to me."

My hand went to my chest as I felt my heart begin to swell as the pull inside me, the impossibly strong tug toward Edward, grew to an incredible painful ache.

The pull.

The pull was…_love_.

The yearning for him.

_Love._

The desire to know him.

_Love._

The need for him.

_Love._

The tears at his absence.

_Love._

I remembered when Edward and I watched The Wizard of Oz together, I remembered him letting me sit between his legs while we ate popcorn, and the warmth that had spread through me when he laughed and wrapped his arms around me. It wasn't just the passionate heat I always had with him, it was a feeling of…home. It was the same happy feeling I'd had when I'd watched it with my mother as a child. Being with Edward made me happy. Being with Edward made me feel alive, wanted, desired…and every other good feeling I'd ever felt.

I loved Edward.

Swallowing thickly, I stared at Riley, his expression worried as he looked at me. Jumping off the bed, I raced to the bathroom, sliding on the floor as I dropped to my knees and draped my arms over the porcelain just in time for the pizza to come back up. Behind me I heard his footsteps and then felt him kneeling beside me, his hand brushing my hair back.

"You okay?"

I nodded just as my stomach heaved again.

"I don't think love is supposed to do this," he sighed as he watched me. What I couldn't tell him was somehow I knew that was exactly what love was supposed to do when you were separated from the one you loved. I continued to throw up until there was nothing left. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I flushed the toilet and sat back on my heels while sweat ran down my face. Riley shook his head.

"What?" I asked, still breathless.

"Fucking waste of good pizza," he sighed. I stood up and splashed water on my face before brushing my teeth. I left for the bedroom and he followed me. When I fell onto the bed, he joined me, curling his body next to me and putting his head on my chest. Instinctively, my arm went around him and I pulled him closer, my mind still reeling from the revelation.

"Jasper?" he whispered. "If you love Edward, does that change things between us?"

I lifted his head, cupping his cheek. "I don't know," I answered honestly and his eyes closed.

"I don't want it to," he admitted in a low murmur. Leaning forward, I kissed his forehead. He laid his head back down over my heart.

The heart that I now knew belonged unequivocally to Edward.

I felt his soft cock twitch against my jean covered thigh. "Rile?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you ever going to get dressed?"

"Nope," he answered definitively. "I kinda like this."

"Figures."

I felt him smile against me as he burrowed into me further. We both seemed to have this need to crawl inside the other, for protection, comfort, just to be…held close.

"**~~**"

The next few days were a blur. My body went through the motions of life while my heart and soul ached terribly for another. Riley stayed at my place. At first he argued with me, claiming he could go back to the streets but after growling at him and asking if he fucking wanted to sleep on cement with his back all cut up, he sighed and agreed to stay. I woke up to him attempting to cook breakfast two mornings in a row. After burnt eggs and soggy pancakes one morning, he handed me warm Pop-Tarts the next.

"What?" he asked as I smiled. "I had to toast them. That counts as cooking, ya know."

As much as Riley prided himself on his independence, he seemed to enjoy playing house. One night I came home to find him watching a cooking show and taking notes. I sat next to him on the couch and he leaned over and took off my shoes before massaging my shoulders. When I moaned, he kissed my neck.

"I'm just like June fucking Cleaver," he announced proudly. "Just need some heels and pearls."

"Who?"

He sighed when his joke was lost on me. "Good thing you're fucking hot," he said before bouncing up and heading for the kitchen. "Oh, can you buy more DVDS, I'm sick of watching The Wizard of Oz," he called out as he opened the stove to check dinner. "The flying monkeys fucking freak me out. Monkeys with wings are just not right."

When he came back in, I pulled a phone from my pocket and handed it to him.

"What's this?"

"A cell phone."

He sighed. "I fucking know that, but why are you giving it to me?"

"I got it for you today. I want you to have it, use it."

He pressed a few buttons and oh'd and ah'd before leaning over and kissing me. "Thanks, Jas."

At night, we slept naked in my bed. His body was always pressed against me, his legs always entwined with mine, his arms always surrounding me. When he felt my body trembling from the sadness, he only pulled me closer and attempted to soothe away the hurt. I appreciated him trying, but I knew the ache was there for good. Even Riley, with his warm, willing body wasn't going to make it go away.

No matter where I was, or who I was with, Edward was on my mind.

"Ssshhh, it's okay," his soft voice whispered in the dark room. The rain poured outside, thunder crashing as the room instantly brightened with flashes of lightening. Weeping, I clutched at my chest, to keep my heart from being ripped out. My fingers scratched at Riley's as he flattened his hands against me, protecting my flesh from my own hands.

"Hurts," I gasped as he rocked me back and forth. His arms tightened around me. Eventually, I fell asleep to the memory of Edward's smile.

Friday arrived and Riley and I spent the day in the apartment. Riley ordered Chinese take-out for lunch and pouted when I insisted he answer the door with at least underwear on.

"But the tip?"

"They prefer cash, Rile."

"Pfft, yeah, right. My cock is so much better than cash," he mumbled as he went to put on a pair of briefs. I watched him walk down the hall, looking at the marks on his back. The burns had scabbed over and were healing well, though they would probably scar. The welts on his back had faded from hot red to a pale pink, the flesh less swollen. Even his ass looked better. I swore if I ever found the bastards that had done that to him, I'd risk going to jail for revenge.

The food arrived and Riley answered the door, wearing the skimpiest pair of see-through fishnet underwear he could find in my drawer. After he paid the very stunned delivery person, he walked over with the food. I stared at him.

"What? You said wear underwear, so I did," he shrugged. Spreading the feast he'd ordered on the table in front of us, he sat down and grabbed a carton of Lo Mein. As he shoveled it into his mouth, I started to play the DVD I'd bought on my way home the night before. He laughed when the Pretty Woman title flashed on the television. Sitting next to him, I began to eat some sweet and sour chicken, only getting through a few bites before putting the carton down with the others covering my table. He must have ordered fifty dollars worth of food for two people. Eating whenever he wanted was still a novelty to Riley. It was habit to stuff ourselves when we found food because we didn't know when we'd get the chance to eat again. He finished the Lo Mein just as Vivian began to seduce her Edward. He was eating even more than usual.

That only meant one thing.

He was going to leave me.

"Jas?" he asked, nudging my foot with his. "I'm thinking about heading out tonight. I think it's time."

"No," I answered firmly.

"Jas, I can't stay here, you know that. It's too risky. Plus, I need to get out, going kinda crazy locked up."

"No," I repeated, more firmly. "Is it because you need to score some shit?"

His eyes dropped to the carton and he played with his food. "I have to," he finally replied quietly.

"Fine. See ya soon," I snapped and got up and headed for the shower. I was standing under the spray of hot water when the door opened and he entered. Silently, he moved behind me and put his head on my shoulder. I refused to face him. "What if something happens to you? What am I supposed to do without you or Edward?"

"Nothing will happen to me. I'll be fine," he assured me.

"Yeah, right. You didn't look fine when you showed up here. You didn't look fine curled up in a ball on the floor before I left for Texas."

"Jasper," he sighed. "I promise, I'll check in every few days, okay? I will even shower and let you feed me, but I can't stay here. It's not safe. If he…" he didn't finish. We both knew what he was trying to say. If James found out where I lived, all bets were off.

Finally, I turned and took him into my arms, letting my worry for him fall from my eyes. In a matter of days, I felt like my life was collapsing from under me, and I had to get ready to go see Peter.

After our shower, we got out and went to my room to dress. Riley put on his tee shirt and jeans I'd washed for him and I got dressed in a simple Dior suit. I sat on the bed to pull on my cowboy boots, almost smiling when the scent of leather reached my nose.

"Open the closet," I told Riley. He did and turned the light on. "On the left." He reached in and pulled out the Armani wool coat still hanging in the dry cleaner plastic.

"You found it? How?" he asked, shocked.

"Behind a dumpster. I was trying to find you, went down the alley and on my way out, saw that near the end."

"Yeah, I thought I was only going to be gone for a few hours, not a few days."

"Take it, it's yours."

"No, I can't. I'll take a sweatshirt though."

"Rile, a sweatshirt isn't going to keep you warm," I growled and he nodded, slipping the jacket off the hanger and tossing it on the bed. When I was dressed, I stood up and checked myself in the mirror. On the outside, I looked the normal, same blue eyes and tawny waves, same define muscles and long legs.

It was the inside that had changed.

"You look nice," he smiled at my reflection, but then his smile faded. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "I have no fucking idea what I'm doing. And when I get home, you're not going to be here."

"Not tonight, but I swear, I'll come by this weekend, okay?"

I couldn't answer.

We left my apartment together, him in his tee shirt and wool coat, me in my suit. Aro met us on street, eyeing the hands clasped between Riley and me.

"It's pretty fucking cool that you have your own Lurch," Riley smirked when Aro greeted me and opened my door.

"Riley, Aro, my driver. Aro, this is Riley my-"

"Whore," Riley finished for me.

Aro put his hand out and smiled. "Always good to have one of those handy, nice to meet you. I'll wait for you inside, sir." He walked around the car and Riley looked up at me.

"Sir? Well, well, how fucking fancy is that?"

"He comes with the job."

"Yeah, I got one too. He's just taking a few nights off. Good help is so hard to find," he deadpanned.

I laughed despite myself. Then I pulled him in to a hug. We'd been doing a lot of that lately; hugging, hand holding, and even some kissing.

What we hadn't done was fuck.

Since that first night when I'd broken down during sex, we hadn't touched each other like that. Even though we slept together nude, our bodies always pressed together, hands wandered but things never went further than a moan before we stopped. Somehow Riley knew it wasn't what I needed, that it would only make it better for a few minutes before I would come crashing back down again. Although he teased me about it, complaining how he had to take care of himself in the shower, groaning something about 'fucking him was the least I could do for the pleasure of his company', but I knew that beneath the joking, he understood.

My need for him was different now.

Which was what scared the shit out me as I held him and whispered goodbye.

He promised to be safe, to call and check in.

"If you're not here by noon on Sunday and I haven't heard from you, I'm going to find him."

"I promise, Dad," he grinned. "Now stop worrying and tongue fuck me," he chuckled before kissing me, deeply and thoroughly. When he pulled away, he tucked my hair back behind my ear. "Try to get some rest, okay? Think of me behind you, keeping you safe."

"Thanks, Rile."

"Bye, Jasper."

He turned and whistled as he walked down the road. When I went to get into the car, I realized he was whistling Follow the Yellow Brick Road. Glancing up one last time, I saw him do a skip like Dorothy.

Flying monkeys my ass.

Getting in the car, I closed the door and sat back. Aro shifted and pulled out into traffic.

"Aro, I need to run an errand. Fourth and Pine, please." Inside my pocket, my fingers gripped the five thousand dollars.

Aro pulled up to the curb and parked. "Need help?"

"No, I got this. I'll be right back." I got out and quickly walked the three blocks until I hit the district. James was easy to spot, standing on his usual corner surrounded by his girls. He was handing one of them a few pills when I walked up. He saw me and shooed his harem off. I stopped in front of him and he narrowed his eyes, taking in my designer suit and freshly showered appearance.

"Well, well, looks who is back all fancied up."

I took a step closer, putting me within his reach. My eyes never left his as I looked down at him.

"You keep your fucking hands off him. If you ever fucking pull shit like that again, I will fucking kill you," I snarled, my lip curling up to bare my teeth.

"Ah, I see the bitch has run home to daddy. How sweet. You two must look adorable playing house together. I've got news for you, this isn't Walton mountain, asshole. I call the shots. He does whatever the fuck I tell him to. If he takes coke, he needs to pay for it. Personally he got off easy, a few hours entertaining some friends of mine was worth it."

"Entertaining?"

"Yeah, entertaining. They were entertained by his tight ass and watching him squirm while they had their fun."

"Fucking asshole," I muttered under my breath, my eyes glancing around behind him for any of his goons.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, I recall you own me some money." He smiled, fucking smiled, at me. Reaching into my pocket, I took out the money and handed it to him. He couldn't hide the surprised look as he quickly flipped through the bills.

"I'm impressed. Maybe you're not the idiot I thought you were. Then again, you keep paying for that bitch rather than just kick his ass to the curb. Does he know what you're doing for him? I hope he's giving you something in return."

I was tempted to tell him Riley's friendship was all that I needed, but he'd never understand the meaning of the word.

He finished counting and put the money in his pocket. "You just bought him another week. I'll see ya next Friday."

I nodded curtly and then turned and headed back down Fourth Street to the car. When I got in, my heart was still racing, my legs still bouncing from the adrenaline rush.

It was time to put my game face on.

I would be with Peter again in less than twenty minutes.

Looking out the window, the city lights above me, I wondered where Edward was…and what he was doing that exact moment.

Was he missing me as much as I was him?

When Aro pulled up in front of the Renaissance, I took a few deep breaths. My body had calmed over the short drive, but my mind was still racing. Aro opened my door and I got out, giving him a small smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," he said as I headed for the lobby. My feet walked along the well known marble floor to elevator and up to Peter's floor. The doors open and I walked to his room, purposely keeping my eyes down and off Edward's room just down the hall.

For the first time since I'd met Peter, I wasn't looking forward to seeing him. As I stood at his door, the watch on my wrist felt exceptionally heavy, the engraved words on the back boring into my flesh like a brand. Reaching up, I knocked and then waited. The door opened with a whoosh of air and I lifted my eyes to meet his. They were as bright as always, the shades of blues and greens melting to a stormy sea of aqua. The emotion that had been swimming in them in Texas was still there, tangling with his body's desire for mine. It'd had been almost a week since I'd seen him, but the love he had for me was clear and evident and strong.

"Jasper," he said breathlessly before engulfing me into his arms, his lips seeking out mine in a long, deep kiss. Immediately, my body melded to his, easily and habitually conforming around his muscles and embrace. His fingers buried themselves in my hair and he moaned into the kiss and began to guide us into the room. Without any further words, his skilled fingers were unbuttoning my jacket and loosening my tie. My own body responded automatically, feeding its hunger for the pleasure it knew he could provide. Kissing along my jaw, he pushed my jacket off my shoulders to the floor before working on my shirt, which soon followed. I heard his sigh when his fingers skimmed over the watch on my wrist, but he didn't cease his movements. Finally pulling away, he took a step back and began to unbutton his own shirt while walking backwards to his bedroom. His eyes never left me as I sat on his bed and held up my leg for him. With a smirk, he turned away from me and straddled my leg to tug my boot off. He proceeded to do the other and then pulled me up to him for another searing kiss. When my hands reached for the zipper of my pants, I found his already there, pushing the material to the floor.

I was thankful for his need, sex meant we didn't have to talk.

"Been too fucking long," he groaned when he felt my growing erection through the briefs I was wearing. "Need you, babe," he sighed as he broke the kiss and removed his own pants and underwear. Standing naked and hard before me, his eyes devoured me right before his body did. One hand wrapped around my neck while the other went to my ass, kneading the flesh. When his fingers hooked into the elastic of my briefs and he tugged down the last barrier between us, I found myself thrusting toward him instinctively, my cock begging for his touch. His mouth and hands were everywhere as he guided me onto the bed, hovering over me as he placed kisses along my shoulders, neck and collarbone. Moaning beneath him, I vaguely heard myself pleading for more, my body humming with electricity. When his tongue flicked over my nipple, I arched up, crying out his name, my legs parting for him to settle between.

"So damn responsive," he murmured into my chest before moving lower, his lips leaving a damp trail of kisses. He spent time at my naval, his tongue darting into it before I felt his warm breath brushing over my erection. Lifting his head, he ran the tip of his tongue along the bulging vein in my cock, then swirled it around the flare of the head. I moaned, writhing. Then my cock was in his mouth, hot and wet, he took me deep. Closing my eyes, I let my body talk to him, my hands gripping his hair to hold his head, my lips mouthing his name over and over, my cock pulsing inside him. They all spoke of my desire for him, his body. I'd never felt more conflicted in my life than I did as I moved toward him, needing and wanting. My heart and mind were with another, but right then, my body wanted Peter.

Just as he took me to the edge of my orgasm, he backed off and shifted his weight from me. I lay there waiting, my eyes closed, while he reached for the condom and lube. My heart ached when the bottle clicked open, but my body relaxed when his slick finger slipped into me.

"Fuck," I whimpered, grinding my ass onto his finger. He inserted a second and third, moving them in and out of me while his other hand ran up and down my chest, stopping only to stroke my cock or tweak my nipples. Within minutes, I was thrashing my head back and forth, spreading my legs further in invitation.

Maybe he could make me forget bronze and green. Maybe he could make me forget pain and ache. Maybe he could make me forget _him_.

Opening the condom, he pulled it over his cock before drizzling lube over himself and spreading it with his hand. Kneeling between my legs, he watched me, his eyes roaming over me, taking in my quivering state. When he reached my eyes, I swear he paused, tilting his head, he gazed at me.

Could he see it in me like I could him? Could he see the love I felt and know it was for another or would he mistake it for himself?

"Jasper," he said reverently, brushing the hair off my forehead. "So beautiful." Positioning himself at my entrance, he waited patiently for my nod before he began to push forward. Pressing my head into the mattress, I lifted my ass to meet him, urging him deeper. Slowly, he entered me, his hands resting on my thighs until he was seated deep inside me.

"Fuck, babe, feels so good," he murmured just before he began to move in and out of me at a leisurely pace. I couldn't deny he felt good inside me, but when I clenched my eyes shut, it wasn't aqua eyes and black hair I saw, it was fire and emerald. Falling forward, he braced himself on his hands, his hips moving at a steady, rhythmic pace while he lowered his mouth to mine. With parted lips, our mouths met, his tongue teasing mine, enticing it to taste him. Never faltering his rhythm, he continued to kiss me greedily. One of my hands went around his neck, my fingers searching for the long silky strands they knew so well. He broke the kiss, moving his lips along my jaw to my ear.

"Touch yourself for me," he whispered in a lust laden voice. Obliging, I reached between us and gripped my cock, stroking myself to match his thrusts. "That's it, babe. Fuck, so beautiful," he said as he looked down my chest to watch me touching myself. My body responded to my touch, to his cock in my ass, and I felt the stirring low in my groin. Eager for those few seconds of nothing but bliss, but euphoria, I tugged on my cock faster. My breaths became labored, almost panting, when his lips covered mine again. Above me, he began to tremble, his body shaking as he fought to maintain control and wait for me to come before he did. My balls drew up tight as my pace quickened.

"Gonna come," I warned him just as I felt the warmth spread up my spine. One more stroke and my cock jerked, cum shooting in long streams onto my chest. The sweet fire I had wanted hit me quick and weak, but I felt my muscles tense and relax with each small wave.

It felt good, it felt empty, it felt horrible.

Guilt wracked my body as much as my orgasm did. Peter's lips were on mine, inhaling my cries. Digging my nails into his back, I tried to force the agony from me. He arched into me, sinking deeper, his cock striking my gland with each roll of his hips.

"Coming, babe," he grunted right before I felt him tense above me, his orgasm flooding his body with the euphoria I had wanted. Inside me, his cock emptied into the condom, his hips rocking through it. Collapsing on top of me, I felt his moist breaths on my chest as he laid his head on my shoulder. My finger threaded through his hair while his body rode out the remainder of his orgasm. With one last, deep kiss, he reached down and pulled himself out, tugging the condom off before climbing off the bed. When he returned, he had a damp towel in his hand and he wiped me clean before tossing it on the floor and returning to bed. Lying on his back, he took me into his arms, pulling me close. I rested my head on his shoulder, my fingers absently grazing over his chest, my eyes resting on Edward's watch, the emerald sparkling even in the dim lighting of the bedroom.

"How was your week?" he asked, his nose nuzzling my damp hair. I shrugged, keeping my eyes on my fingers. I felt his hand running along my side as he slid a leg between mine. "You okay, babe?"

"Yeah."

He put his fingers under my chin and lifted my head, his eyes studying me. I held his gaze for a few seconds, then looked away.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.

Then I felt even guiltier.

"Nothing," I gave him smile, hoping it looked genuine. "Just tired."

It wasn't a complete lie.

He stared at me before pulling me closer.

"James," he sighed, assuming he knew the problem. He wasn't completely wrong. James was still on my mind, as was Riley being back on the streets, but it was thoughts of Edward that plagued me. Before Edward, I had always prided myself in my ability to close everything off, to fuck or get fucked without involving any emotions or sometimes even conscious thoughts.

Edward had changed that.

With him, all I did was think.

Without him all I did was think.

"Has he threatened your friend again?"

I was going to lie, take the easy way out and shake my head no. Then I remembered it was Peter.

_Peter._

The first person I'd ever trusted besides Riley. The first man who respected my body, revered it, fucking worshipped it. The first person that had taken care of me in every way.

The first man that had ever told me he loved me.

"Riley," I said quietly, lifting my head to look at him.

He quirked a brow.

"My friend, his name is Riley. I'm not sure of his last name."

"Riley," he repeated. "How old is he?"

"Nineteen I think. He's been on the streets since he was fifteen. Got kicked out of his house when he came out. He hitchhiked to the nearest city and has been on the streets every since."

"How long have you known him?"

"Since my first few weeks on the streets, so a little over two years. He saved my ass. A cop tried to pick me up, Riley stopped me. We've been friends every since."

"You looked out for each other."

I nodded, lowering my eyes as the concern over Riley's safety overwhelmed me. "I'm worried."

"More than usual?" When I didn't reply right away, he tucked my hair behind my ear. "Babe, tell me."

"He's an addict," I murmured.

"Like your parents."

"I guess. He's not always high like they were though. In fact, when he's not, he seems fine. I mean, sometimes he gets the shakes, but other than that he seems okay."

"So he turns tricks to pay for the drugs his pimp supplies him with."

"Pretty much."

"Does he have a place to stay?"

"Um…he stays with me sometimes, but usually he sleeps in an abandoned building on the docks."

"Jesus," he mumbled, shaking his head. "Is that where you stayed too?"

"When I wasn't hooking, yeah, mostly. It's not so bad, but kinda sucks in the winter. The wind comes right off the water."

"So why are you more worried about Riley now?"

Biting my lip, I debated on how much to reveal. I knew Riley wouldn't care, he wouldn't see it as a betrayal of his confidence. He was what he was, he accepted it, he wasn't ashamed of it.

"James gave him some really good shit. Rile loved it, went back for more. James gave it to him, Riley used it, or most of it, and then James told him he owed him a grand."

"For how much?" he asked, curious.

"I don't know. Probably not nearly what it should have been for a grand, but Riley had to pay him off. James said if Riley did him a favor, he'd call them even."

"What kind of favor?"

I went to speak again, but my voice caught in my throat. The pad of his thumb wiped at my cheek, taking the tear with it. Closing my eyes, I relished in his soft touch and swallowed before speaking again.

"He went to this cabin and there were these guys. They…um…tied him up, caned him, paddled him, burned him with cigarettes…raped him repeatedly for two days."

"Fuck," he sighed, pulling me closer. "Babe, I'm so sorry. Is he okay?"

"He was hurting for a few days, but he's better now. He's been with me since Wednesday morning, but he left tonight."

"Right before you came here," he assumed. "That's why you were so distracted earlier. You're worried about him on the streets again."

Half lying, I nodded and opened my eyes again.

"You could have told me when you got here, Jasper. We could have talked instead of making love."

"I didn't want to bother you with it."

"Jasper, knowing about your life and what's going on in it is not a bother to me. I want to know you, everything about you. If your friend is in trouble and you're worried about him, I want to know."

I nodded.

"That's what love is, babe. You're my first concern."

"I know," I sighed.

"Speaking of, I haven't said it since you arrived. I was a little, ah physically overwhelmed by seeing you again. I haven't jerked off in two days because I was saving up. My apologies for not telling you the second I saw you, but…I love you, Jasper." He pulled me into a kiss before I could reply. My heart pounded with remorse, but I returned his kiss with as much desire as he did. When we parted, he cupped my cheek and smiled at me. "Feels so good to say that you."

"It's nice to hear," I admitted quietly, honestly.

"Good. Now tell me about James. Do you think he will do something tonight?"

"I don't think so. I paid him five thousand right before I came here. He said I bought Riley another week. If he's true to his word, then Riley should be okay."

"Except for the drugs, the johns, the sleeping in an abandoned building…"

"Yeah, except for those."

"Has he thought about trying to get off the streets somehow? Shelter? Rehab?" I rolled my eyes and he nodded. "I know, I know, just thought I'd mention it. I know it's not easy."

"What?"

"Addiction."

"You do?" Intrigued, I lifted my head from his chest and eyed him.

He nodded. "Witnessed it firsthand."

"Well, I know it wasn't your parents. I can't imagine Caroline doing that. And you're an only child, so that leaves a friend?"

"Boyfriend actually."

"Nicolas?" I remembered the story he'd told me in Texas.

"Yep. He started using our last year in college. Mostly casual shit, stuff to keep him awake though classes after he'd been up all night playing music. One thing led to another and eventually, he was using a few times a week. He quit a few times, said he could handle it on his own and he did…for a few weeks. Then he was right back at it. He tried to hide it from me but I learned the signs. The red eyes, nosebleeds, shakes."

"But you moved to Seattle for him."

"I did. He promised it would be different out here. That he could just play his music and he wouldn't need the drugs anymore."

"Did it get better?"

"Worse actually. Doing gigs gave him more access to more shit and he started trying heavier stuff."

"You said you hit a hard spot, was that it?"

"Yeah, his addiction got to out of control. I found relief in Brenden, he gave me the strength to leave Nicolas. I'd cheated on Nicolas, so the break up was going to happen anyway, but it was because of his drug use that I had gone to someone else."

"I'm sorry," I said, not really knowing what else to say. I leaned forward and brushed my lips across his.

"So I can understand the lure of drugs. I saw Nic fight, and usually lose, the battle every day. Your friend Riley has a rough road ahead with two choices."

"Choices?"

"Rehab or death."

"Which did Nicolas choose?"

"Rehab. About a year after we broke up, he was arrested for possession. They put him in rehab."

"Is he still clean?"

"Yep, he's doing pretty well. Still plays his music. Has had a boyfriend for the past few years. I went to see him play at a bar about six months ago."

"How was it? Seeing him again?"

"Hard at first, those old feelings resurfaced pretty quickly, but it also freed me from the guilt I'd felt for cheating on him. Gave me some closure. I saw he was doing well and realized I could move on too." He paused, stroking my cheek. "To you."

Looking at his chest, I gnawed the inside of my lip. Drawing me closer, he kissed me, his lips moving softly and gently against mine, never demanding more than I was willing to give.

"Are you hungry? Did you have dinner?" he asked when he pulled away.

"Yeah, I'm a little hungry."

"Well, then let's get some food," he smiled and moved out from under me. "You go start the shower and I'll order the food?"

"Sure."

"What do you want?"

"Chinese," I answered quickly as I climbed out of bed.

"Chinese it is," he chuckled as he picked up the phone. "You like sweet and sour?"

I couldn't help but smile a little. "Yeah."

He joined me in the shower after he placed the order and he washed me with as much care as I had washed Riley a few days before. After getting out, we dried off just in time for the food to arrive. We spent the rest of the night on his couch watching a movie, the boxes of food on the table in front of us. I lay on the couch, my head in his lap, his fingers twirling my hair. His body shook when he laughed, almost forcing me to laugh too. When the movie was over and our stomachs were full, he took my hand and led me back to his bed. He folded back the blankets and I got in. Lying behind me, he pulled my back to him, his nose nuzzling my hair as he inhaled deep breaths.

"You smell so good," he sighed, content. Slinging an arm around my middle, he kept me close. I felt safe.

I felt cared for.

Just before his breaths evened out, he whispered, "Love you, babe."

If it was possible, my heart broke even more.

Closing my eyes, I tried to focus on his arms around me, but all I could think of was where Edward was. Was he alone? Had he sought pleasure in someone else's arms? My mind raced with reasons for his absence. Had something happened at work, had Spencer outed him? Had Edward's father or someone he works with found out about his secret life? Had they found out he was seeing a hooker?

Or was it me?

Was I the reason he'd walked away? Had I done something wrong? Had he decided he couldn't handle my work anymore and left? I knew Edward, I knew he wouldn't just up and leave without a reason. If it was my job, then he would have told me, explained to me that it was too much for him to handle. He would not have just left without letting me know unless something terrible had happened. My stomach churned, my thoughts spinning from my own heartache to worrying about Edward and what trouble he might be in. Clenching my eyes closed to stave off the tears, I took a deep breath. A tear rolled down my cheek and dripped onto Peter's arm. Instinctively, his embrace around me tightened and I forced myself to relax. Sleep, when it eventually came, was fitful at best.

The morning light streamed through the gauzy curtains, cutting harshly across my eyes. Behind me, Peter moaned, his morning erection pressing eagerly against my ass. My own cock was half hard at best. Sleepily, Peter kissed my shoulder while his hand wandered up and down my side. Minutes later, my cock was buried in his mouth, my hands grasping uselessly at his too short hair as his head bobbed up and down my length. It felt good, my body craved any release, no matter how brief, it could get. It wasn't long before my cock was emptying down his throat, my hips bucking up against his hands as he held me down. Quickly he moved up my body, kissing me while he reached for the lube and condom on the table.

"I want you so much," he murmured lovingly into my ear as he nuzzled my cheek. Cool, wet fingers prodded me, stretching me for him. Reaching up, I drew him into a kiss.

"Then take me," I returned before breaking the kiss and rolling onto my stomach, reaching my arms out toward the headboard. He spanked my ass lightly before rolling the condom onto himself. Straddling my thighs, he pressed his cock between my legs and began to pushing slowly into me before he began to thrust. Lying flush on top of me, I felt his lips kissing along my shoulders, the abrasive scruff on his jaw sending shivers down my spine when he dragged it along me. His arms moved under my chest and along my own. His hands reached mine and our fingers entwined tightly. We were touching everywhere, his weight pressing me into the mattress. Hot breaths washed over me as he grunted and thrust.

Trapped between my body and the bed, my cock began to harden again, enjoying the friction being created from the movement of our bodies. His thrusts were unhurried, his sounds sensual as he continued to make love to me. Each time I began to feel him, to be in the moment with him, the pull strengthened and Edward entered my mind. Moaning as Peter's cock barely brushed my gland, I clenched my eyes.

Peter felt lighter, his grip weakened and his hips slimmed. The timbre of his voice turned velvet and my heart quickened with happiness.

One sharp thrust and my body gave way to its need and want and I came, my cock spewing cum onto the rumbled bedspread below me. The spasms of my ass encouraged the beginnings of Peter's orgasm and he stilled above me. While my mouth was filled with quiet groans of my weak pleasure, Peter turned my head for a kiss. Just as our tongues met, he came, moaning into the kiss as his climax emptied from him and into the condom. Sated, he rolled off me, keeping a leg and arm over me. Stretching his arm straight up, he laid his head on it and stared at me. I returned his stare, and even gave him a smile. His other hand left my back and brushed my sweaty hair off my forehead.

"You're amazing," he said softly.

"Hardly," I countered quickly. If I was amazing, then why was Edward gone?

"You've got no idea, Jasper."

"Of what?"

"How wonderful you are."

"And you are full of shit," I joked, trying to lighten the serious tone the talk had suddenly taken. He smiled but shook his head.

"It's true that love is blind, but I see very well."

"You wear glasses," I reminded him.

"Only when I'm on the computer or reading for a long time. Other than that, I see perfectly." He batted his eyelashes for effect. "I see_ you_ perfectly."

I rolled my eyes and then looked at the bedspread, my fingers plucking at some nonexistent lint. The metal on my watch caught a glimpse of daylight and shined brilliantly.

"I see an intelligent, humorous, fiercely loyal, sexy, wonderful, generous man."

Biting my lip, I moved my gaze to him. "You're right, love is definitely blind."

"No, it's not, you just don't see yourself how others do. Why do you think clients give you gifts like this?" he said, his fingers brushing over Edward's watch. "Why do you think Riley befriended you? Given what he does, I'm sure he's very good at reading people, much like I am. He knew you'd be loyal. Perhaps he didn't have any idea how loyal, but he knew you'd be a good friend."

"He made a lucky guess," I shrugged.

"Jasper, you've came from a shitty childhood and made something for yourself."

"Peter, I'm a fucking hooker," I scoffed.

"Who got off the streets, makes his own money and is using it to help a friend."

"Riley wouldn't even be in this position if I hadn't left the streets to begin with," I countered.

"Regardless, Jasper, you could have easily washed your hands of him. To most, he wouldn't have even been a second thought. He's a drug addict."

"He's my friend," I murmured.

"Who might die any day from any number of ways."

"I have to try to save him."

I couldn't save my parents or my own childhood, I had to try to save Riley.

"Exactly my point. To you, he is worth saving. A homeless drug addicted whore is all anyone else would see, but not you."

"He's…funny and smart."

Peter smiled, his eyes lighting up. "Tell me about him."

"He can't cook for shit, but he tries. He loves to eat take-out when he comes over and answers the door nude just to shock the delivery person. He's can pickpocket just about anyone. He's resourceful and very…umm…open."

"Sexually open?"

"Yes. He has no shame where sex is concerned. He knows so much shit that I don't, like these stupid sayings and songs and TV shows. One time he came over and did a dance using his arms as letters. He's hot too, not as tall as me but close, and when his hair is clean, it's so shiny and his eyes are really dark but you can see him in them…." I trailed off, my eyes meeting Peter's.

Leaning forward, he closed the gap between us and kissed me.

"You just described him without using the words drugs or hooker once."

I thought about what I'd said and he was right. While Riley was a whore and an addict, there was so much more to him.

He had potential.

It was just covered up in the shadows of alleys and the white powder he snorted and smoked.

"That is what he saw in you, someone that would see beyond his job and addiction."

"He hasn't always been an addict. When I first met him, he was clean but over time the streets got to him and he couldn't resist anymore."

"You could because you'd seen it, lived it."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"See? Amazing." His finger reached out and traced the shell of my ear before running down my cheek and along my unshaven jaw. "I want to tell you something."

I nodded, but inside my heart skipped a beat. Fears of just about every kind raced through my mind.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, sensing my apprehension. "In Texas, I told you that I am a patient man and am willing to wait for what I want, especially when I think it is worth the wait."

"Pet-"

He put his finger over my lips. "Listen first. You are worth the wait, I know that. Even more so after last night, and because of that, I want to get to know you better, someplace more personal. I don't want to see you here anymore." He let his words sink in before continuing in a whisper. "I want you to come to my house."

"Your house?"

"I'm going to give you my address. You already have my number. The next time I schedule you, come to my house instead of here, okay? You can come over, see my place. I'll cook you dinner, I make a mean fettuccini alfredo," he offered with a smile.

The smile was weak, but I gave it to him anyway. Then I pulled him to me for a brief kiss before whispering, "Thank you. I'd like that."

Fuck, I wanted Peter, his friendship and support. Edward was gone, Peter was not. He was there, holding me, caressing me, loving me.

"You're welcome. I've got to make a quick call overseas. Why don't you shower and I'll meet you in there in a few minutes? I'll order breakfast too."

"Sure," I replied as he pressed his lips to my forehead and climbed out of bed. Warm, I rolled onto my back and closed my eyes. Reaching for my phone, I glanced at it for messages and saw none. It was like pouring salt on a wound every time I looked at it but couldn't help myself. Sitting up, I got out of bed and headed for the shower.

After a quick shower, Peter washing me tenderly and thoroughly, we got out and dried off and ate breakfast. Peter was leaving to head for the office and I had to meet Aro downstairs. Once he was dressed in his suit, the gray jacket resting perfectly on his wide shoulders, he packed his bag while he waited for me to finish. I tugged on my boots and grabbed my tie before following him to the door. He walked me down to the lobby, stopping briefly at the desk. I smirked at the way the workers, men and women, tripped over themselves to wait on him. Peter's voice was soft yet commanding, and they were eager to serve him. With a smile and goodbye, he turned and took my hand in his. He winked at me and then led me toward the doors.

"They sure like you," I commented.

"They like money and I have it," he corrected me. I glanced at his profile, the strong jaw and straight nose, his hair perfectly styled, eyes shining.

"I think it's more than your money they like," I chuckled. With a roll of his eyes, we walked through the door and outside. I spotted Aro a few cars down.

"Is your driver here?"

"Yes, right there," I said, pointing to the black Towncar. For the second time in twenty-four hours I walked up to Aro holding a man's hand. I saw his eyes drop to the clasped hands but he quickly looked back at Peter.

"Pleasure to see you again, Mr. Carlson," Aro greeted.

"Nice to see you, too," Peter returned. After opening my door, Aro excused himself to wait in the car.

Peter turned me, resting his hands on my waist.

"You going to be okay, babe?" he asked seriously. His concern warmed me and I nodded. He pulled me closer, leaning toward me until our lips met in a tender kiss. When he broke away, he sighed and closed his eyes as he rested his forehead to mine. "Think these fine people would mind if I took you right here?" he asked in a husky growl.

"Probably wouldn't even notice," I returned. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kept him to me and looked into his eyes, saying the words I knew he was waiting to hear. "You never gave me your address."

Smiling happily, he blushed. "I thought you'd never ask." With a peck to my cheek, he pulled away and I took out my Blackberry. After clicking on his name, I went to edit and added his address as he told it to me. After saving it, I put the phone back in my pocket.

"I should go," I murmured. Sighing, he pulled me to him one last time, his arm wrapping possessively around my middle before his lips brushed over mine. His body was so solid and strong, like nothing could ever get through him to me. Peter would protect me like no one else could. With him, I would be safe.

From James.

From heartache.

I closed my eyes when his lips went to my ear. Leaning my head into his, I shivered when he spoke.

"I'll see you soon, Jasper. I love you. Don't forget that," he whispered before releasing me and stepping back. I gave him a smile as I got into the car. He closed the door for me, his hand staying on the glass for a few seconds. I put mine up to it, our fingers the exact same length.

It was a perfect match.

In every way but one.

As Aro pulled away and Peter faded from view, I put the hand that had been on the window over my heart and felt it beating inside my chest.

Beating in hope for another.

"You okay, sir?" Aro asked softly.

"No," I sighed. "Not sure I ever will be."

Laying my head against the seat, I closed my eyes, shutting out the city and its people. There was only one person I wanted to see.

And he wasn't in Seattle.

At home, I pulled off my boots and stripped my clothes off one by one, not caring if they landed in a wrinkled pile on the floor. Once I was naked, I pulled the blanket back and climbed into bed. Reaching out, I pulled Teddy close, inhaling his scent just as the first of many tears began to fall.

They fell in worry for Riley.

They fell in guilt for Peter.

They fell in love for Edward.

"**~~**"

Every day dawn broke, regardless of how little sleep I'd gotten the night before. Nightmares plagued me every time I closed my eyes, although they were not always memories of the Home. In one, I was making love to Peter, his voice low as he moved above me, in me. Just as he came, he cried out his love for me and I said it back, my heart full of it until he move off me and I saw Edward standing at the foot of the bed, the anguish he felt rolling down his cheeks. He'd watched us, seen and heard everything.

"I thought you loved me," he whispered, fading away before I could explain. I reached for him, called out for him, but was held down by Peter's weight.

In another, I was walking down an unknown street, long shadows crawling toward me as I passed by them. I could hear screams of agony and sex coming from the darkness. A chill ran up my spine as I turned a corner and found James. His back was too me, his dirty blonde hair tied back as he had someone pressed against a wall. Lifting and turning his head, he sneered at me, a growl forming deep in his throat. The sound wasn't what scared me, it was the blood that dripped from the corner of his lips. When they curled back in an evil grin, I saw long, white fangs.

"No," I murmured as my eyes fell to the person he was holding. Riley's head was tilted limply to the side, his chocolate eyes open wide and empty of life. Two puncture wounds on his neck seeped blood liberally as his heart continued to pump while James drained his life from him.

"Isn't this what you want for him? Free him of his addiction?" James laughed before turning away and sinking his teeth back into Riley's still warm flesh.

Each nightmare had me bolting upright, screaming and gasping for breath as sweat ran down my face. Once I realized I was safe, that the visions had only been dreams, I flopped back and sighed, sleep eluding me for the remainder of the night.

Every morning, I reached for my phone and checked it. Riley had figured out how to text and sent me a few short messages letting me know he was okay.

I heard nothing from Edward.

After climbing out of bed, I would shower and then fall onto the couch, staring blankly at whatever shit was on television.

I functioned…barely. I kept my appointments with clients and satisfied them all but I felt lost. Sex with strangers was not distracting me from his absence, from the loss I felt without him in my life, even though it had only been a little over a week. It was like I was back on the streets with no direction or use. I was empty, my body going through the motions of my life while my heart was in his hands, sitting with him in Chicago.

It was Monday morning before Riley finally showed up at my door, Armani and all. He was dirty and reeked, but when he removed his clothes for a shower, I saw the wounds on his back were healing well. The red color had faded to a pale pink and the swelling had gone down. After his shower, he joined me in the kitchen and wrapped me in a damp embrace.

"There's nothing like the feeling of a hot shower," he mumbled into my shoulder, "except maybe your dick."

I kissed his forehead and then fed him, watching him inhale the soup and sandwiches I'd made for him. When I went to speak, he held up his hand.

"Don't even say it. I'm not going to get sick by eating too fast," he mumbled around his food and rolled his eyes. I tried to smile. A second later, he reached across the table and took my hand in his. "How are you doing?"

"I'm breathing, I guess that's something," I shrugged.

"Could be worse," he chuckled. He might have been right, although I wasn't sure.

When he was finished eating, he led me to the couch where he lay on it and then pulled me down in front of him. Wearing only a pair of my underwear, he wrapped his arms and a leg around me and I felt him kiss my neck.

"You want to watch Oz?"

"You hate Oz," I reminded him.

"But you don't." He reached around me and grabbed my remote, smiling when I didn't take it away from him. He hit play and then put it down. "Just protect me during the flying monkey scene."

I didn't have to worry about him being scared by the monkeys because he was asleep before Dorothy even arrived in Oz.

Riley stayed with me that night. I had missed having him behind me in bed, his presence and arms around me. Late the next afternoon, he dressed in his clothes and gave me a long kiss before he took the money I handed him. He put on his coat and gave me a smile, promising to text me every day.

Without Riley to keep me distracted, to keep me together, I found myself wandering lost around my own place. More than once I found myself sitting on the piano bench, my fingers pressing random keys, filling the air with low, depressing notes. I knew nothing about music, or the skill needed to play it, but I knew when Edward sat there and played for me, I'd never heard a more beautiful sound. When I remembered him sitting naked next to me, his body moving to the music he created, my stomach clenched, twisting painfully. Ignoring it, I kept hitting keys, not in any attempt to actually play anything but rather just to touch something he had touched. My mind wandered to Peter and I sighed. I remembered the way he looked at me before I had left, his emotions displayed in his eyes as he said goodbye. I saw everything he felt, including love. As my fingers spread to press a few keys at once, Peter's image morphed into Edward's. Everything about him changed, his shoulders thinned, his hair reddened, his nose narrowed, his jaw sharpened. Everything changed but his eyes. While they darkened to Edward's emerald, the emotion in them remained unaltered.

It was the same.

I gasped.

In Texas, when Peter had admitted his love for me, I had stared into his eyes, seeing their storminess marred with flecks of clarity and finally put a name to the emotion I saw in them. I remembered thinking I'd seen that same look before. It had been love in Edward's eyes as well. When he said goodbye to me on the street, when he'd risked kissing me, when he'd marked me, held me, made love to me.

It was love.

Edward loved me.

I stood so fast I knocked the bench over. Running down the hall with my hand clamped over my mouth, I made it to the bathroom before lowering myself before the toilet and emptying my stomach. With each wave that hit me, my heart shattered more, falling into pieces on the marble floor. My mind reeled with new thoughts, but reach realization brought me back to the same place.

If he loved me, why was he gone?

A lot of people had come and gone from my life, few of them mattered, but the thought of Edward being gone from my life brought on a new round of nausea. When I was finished, my body drained of every ounce of energy I had, I collapsed onto the floor, curling up into a ball on my side. The cool marble felt soothing against my heated skin as I wrapped my arms around my middle and drew my knees up just as the first sob traveled through me.

There on my bathroom floor, I longed for his touch, a simple caress of his hand down my back or his fingers along my cheek. I yearned to hear his voice, his quiet laugh or throaty murmurs in my ear. I craved the feel of his body along mine, his back arching as he writhed and begged for me. I coveted the taste of his lips and his scent of forest and musk.

I hungered for him.

More than anything I desired his heart. The look of love in his eyes when he woke up and saw me next to him or the way he would tilt his head when I spoke, like whatever I was saying was the most important thing he'd ever heard. Lifting myself to my hands and knees, but lacking the energy to stand, I crawled to my bedroom. I made it onto the bed and reached for Teddy. For the fourth night in a row, I soaked his fur with my grief. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I begged for Edward, for his presence to keep my nightly demons at bay with the power only he possessed.

My days blurred into each other, my body moving me through from morning to night without any real direction from me. It was a lighter than typical week at work and I was home by ten almost every night. Riley stopped by on Wednesday to check on me. After he showered, he ordered us subs and ended up eating both of them. He didn't spend the night, claiming he had to get back to the streets to work, but I knew he was leaving to get more shit. He hugged me, his fingers running through my hair as he whispered in my ear.

"Angel, you need to get over him," he advised.

"I can't," I sighed. "I've tried. It hurts to remember him but it hurts worse to try to forget him."

He caressed my cheek before he grabbed his jacket and left, promising to be back over the weekend.

When Friday arrived, I could barely move.

Edward was due back in Seattle in only a few hours. It seemed every few minutes I was looking at his watch to check the time or checking his flight status on my phone. My heart raced when it changed from 'On Time' to 'Landed'.

He was back.

I gave Teddy one last squeeze before I dragged myself to the shower and went through the motions. The first thing I did after drying off was check my phone. Maybe now that he was back in Seattle, freed from the scrutiny of his father and work, he would contact me.

I _knew_ he would.

The rest of my day was spent alternating between checking my email and messages on my phone and waiting for the ping on my laptop for a webcam session.

Neither arrived.

By five o'clock, I was beginning to lose hope. Perhaps he was at work in the office, being watched by Spencer and unable to get away for a minute to let me know he was back. I decided I would give him a few more hours, let him arrive at the hotel after work and then I knew he would call.

Eight o'clock and not one fucking word.

Discouraged, frustrated and fucking scared as hell, I went to get ready for my client.

Aro nodded at me as I silently got into the car. He drove me to the client's, where I knocked on the door, was welcomed inside and fucked.

On the way home, I sat in the darkness of the car, the tears running freely and without shame down my face. Aro parked in front of my building and opened my door. When I went to walk by him, he grabbed my wrist.

"It gets better," were his only words before he let me go. Trudging up to my apartment, I entered and rushed out of my clothes. I took a shower, wanting to wash it all away, the client's touch and scent and Edward's absence. Still damp, I numbly climbed into my empty bed. Staring at the ceiling, I willed myself to face my new reality, a harsh reality without Edward in it.

I'd never felt more alone.

"**~~**"

If my heart pounded anymore it was going to break a rib. It actually ached from the force at which it was racing in my chest. My heels clacked on the marble as I walked to the elevators. The waiting was killing me. For two weeks, I'd been slowly withering away, my mind always on him while my body had gotten me through the day out of habit. Gradually my emotions had moved from grief and sadness to numbness, with brief moments of anger in between. I had woken up that morning, determined to find him, to find out what the fuck was going on. If it wasn't me, if it wasn't my fault, then why hadn't he contacted me once he was in Seattle? If it was me, then what had I done?

As much as it was going to kill me, I had to know. I had to hear him say it. I needed him to tell me he didn't want me anymore. I needed him to take away the hope that I had been clinging to.

I paced in the elevator, the walls closing in on me as I waited to arrive at the penthouse floor. They dinged and my heart stopped. Gnawing on the inside of my lip, I kept my eyes on the patterned rug and stepped off and walked right into someone. When I dragged my eyes up from the tacky loafers over the too tight jeans to his face, I glared at him. Instantly, my entire body tensed, my hands fisted at my sides to avoid punching him.

"You," he said, as shocked as I was. "Fancy meeting you here."

Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to remain calm, not let on that I knew who he was or what he was doing to the man I loved. I swear he smiled as he eyes looked over me appreciatively.

"I can certainly see why you kept him so busy. If I had you tucked away some place, I might not get much work done either."

My eyes narrowed as my mind wondered what the fuck he was talking about. I wasn't surprised he recognized me. I was surprised he was talking to me.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized with a fake tone. "We haven't officially met. I'm Spencer Stanley, a colleague of Edward's." I ignored his hand and he retracted it. "And you are?"

"What the fuck do you care?"

He shrugged. "I don't, except it'd be nice to put a name with the face of an idiot."

"Excuse me?" I felt my blood heating up, rage building from my toes, ready to rupture from me.

"You must be a fool for doing whatever you did. I don't know the details, but I can't believe you had him, all of him, and you treated him like shit."

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about," I replied, shaking my head and confused.

"I would have given just about anything to have him like you did, just once, and you just fucking trashed it. You _ruined_ him."

"Listen, Spencer," I spat his name. "I don't know who you think you are, but you don't shit about Edward or me."

"I know more than you think I do," he said wistfully. "I know he hurts and you're the reason."

I was the reason.

It _was_ me.

Stupidly, I stood there, in the hall between him and the elevator and just stared at him, my feet too heavy to move past him and toward Edward.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go meet someone for lunch. Edward's in his room. I hope you make it right, because seeing him broken like this…" Sighing, he reached around me and pressed the call button for the elevator.

I was still there when the doors opened and Spencer stepped on. I was still there when they closed.

It was all I could do not to sink to the floor in a mess of anguish and tears.

_I know he hurts and you're the reason._

…_broken…_

"Edward," I mouthed. Finally, I lifted my eyes toward his door and somehow my feet moved. By the time I reached his door, I was almost running, suddenly anxious and eager to fix it, to make right whatever the fuck I'd done wrong. Although I had no clue how I was going to do it.

Taking a deep breath, I reached up and tapped lightly on his door. If I thought my heart had been racing before, it was fucking exploding then. I heard shuffling, then a muffled 'Just a minute'. The pull…the love in my chest strengthened with each step he took toward the door, my heart recognizing that he was so close. My knees felt weak and my body swayed as I closed my eyes. When I heard the lock slide, I opened them and readied myself.

"Spencer, I told you we could talk later," he grumbled as he opened the door, his attention on aiming the remote to turn off the television. When his head turned and he saw me, his entire body visibly tightened.

Nothing could have prepared me for how he looked. His hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere and I knew his long fingers had been running through it constantly. His face was pale and there were deep, dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. But it was what I saw in his eyes that stuck me the hardest.

They were barren.

The love I'd seen in them so many mornings, so many times when he moved above me or begged for my touch, that I'd seen when he reached for me and held me and wanted me, was gone. Erased by something I'd done.

I had to fix it. I didn't know how, but I had to. I reached for him and he jerked backwards.

"Baby-"

"Don't you fucking call me that," he spat at me, his empty eyes quickly filling with rage. "Doesn't mean shit anymore."

Stunned, I stared at him. Reflexively, my hand stopped the door when he went to close it.

"Edward," I said slowly, hesitantly, testing the waters.

"It's too late, Jasper. Just go," he sighed, the rage had given way to a sadness that easily matched my own.

"Please let me inside. We obviously need to talk. I've tried to call you but never answered."

"I smashed my phone," he replied flatly.

"Smashed?"

"Yes, fucking smashed it. I got pissed and threw it against the wall," he growled, the anger resurging in him again. "I couldn't stand to see it anymore."

"Can I come in?" I asked, pleading him with my eyes.

"I'd rather you didn't. This has been a fucking shitty enough week as it is."

"I know." We stood there staring at each other, weighing our options. Talking with each other or being alone. "Please, Edward."

Out of habit, I reached for him again, my arm falling to my side before I had even lifted it half way. He held my gaze and I felt my eyes water, the tears sitting on the rims but I swiped at them before they fell. Lowering his eyes, he moved to the side and opened the door. Stepping inside, I glanced around quickly, noticing the complete disarray of the place. Empty cartons of food and papers everywhere, dirty laundry scattered on the floor. He closed the door and then stood in front of it, never moving closer to me.

"How was Texas?" he sneered, folding his arms across his chest. Turning, I eyed him, his defensive stance and narrow, suspicious eyes.

"I missed you," I admitted easily.

"Bullshit."

"It's true."

"Sure didn't sound like it," he scoffed, shaking his head. "Sounded like you were having a fucking good time without me to hold you back."

"Edward, what the fuck are you talking about?" Exasperated, I threw my hands up.

"I heard you," he snarled. Emeralds turned to stormy forests of pitch black, his lips curled up, baring his teeth as anger poured from him.

"Heard me what?" I choked out, swallowing the lump that had formed my throat.

"I heard you," he repeated, his voice barely audible. His shoulders slumped and his eyes closed. "With _him_," he added in a broken voice.

I felt like fate had cut my chest wide open and then reached in and ripped my heart from me, holding it beating in its hands while my blood ran from it. It couldn't be true, he must be mistaken. There was no way he could have…

_You can call them back when I'm done fucking you._

The phone call.

_I'm so close, you're gonna make me come, baby._

Edward had heard us.

_Please, I need you._

He'd heard everything.

_Love you._

Lightheaded, I took few steps backwards, my heart still dripping in fate's hands in front of me. My breaths became shallow and quick. I reached for something to stabilize me, but found nothing.

"The phone rang and I went to silence it, I must have hit accept by accident," I half lied.

"Well, it's to be expected, you were a little preoccupied with his dick in your ass," he snarled.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"Your sorry doesn't do me a lot of fucking good now, does it?"

"I don't know what else to say."

I wanted to ask how much he heard, had he only heard us making love or had he heard Peter professing his love to me.

"Made me sick to my stomach, hearing you like _that_. No matter what I fucking do, I hear it in my head every fucking minute. I was under the impression I was the only one that made you feel that way. How fucked up was that? Me thinking that I made a whore feel special? I guess I know better now, huh? Any guy with a dick can make you come and call out 'baby'."

Wincing at his cruel words, I lifted my eyes to his, feeling strength return to me under his attack.

He continued with a sad edge to his voice. "It used to mean something to me. Fuck, Jasper, it meant the world to me, being your 'baby', knowing that I had a piece of you that they didn't. A piece of you that you didn't share with the fucking world. Instead, I find out it's just another generic fuck name for you."

"That's not true," I argued.

"Oh? So then he is your baby too? I only have to share you with one man? Well, that makes a huge difference," he said bitterly. He shook his head, his hands clenching by his sides. "I can't believe I fell for your act."

"What do you want me to say, Edward? That you're the only one I've ever called baby? Because you're not," I struck back with the need to defend myself. A flash of hurt enveloped his eyes briefly before he covered it up, but the glimpse of his emotions gave me a faint hope.

"It doesn't matter. I don't care anymore," he pretended with a long sigh as he ran his hands through his hair, probably for the hundredth time that day.

"Bullshit," I said calmly. He brought his eyes up to mine, then looked away quickly when he realized what I'd seen in them. "I can see it in your eyes, Edward. I've always seen in your eyes. You do care…just like I do."

His arms fell by his sides and he dropped his gaze to a random spot on the floor. Weary, he took a step toward me and then stopped, as if he had done it unconsciously. His body craved mine, needed mine, but his mind had stopped him.

We stood there, only a few feet separating us, our bodies humming with the nearness of each other. My fingers twitched by my sides, yearning to reach out for him, to run along his smooth skin. I wanted to make it all go away, I wanted to touch him, taste him, kiss him, remind him of what we were, of what we could be again.

Long, silent minutes passed until he finally brought his eyes to meet mine. The dark forest was gone, they had returned to the familiar emerald I loved so much. I saw his love there and I saw him forcing it away, hiding it from my knowing gaze. In its place, I saw hurt, the agony he'd suffered since that night.

"I can't believe you left me…that you went there with _him_," he said in a whisper before tearing his eyes from mine.

"I had to. I need to keep my job," I reminded him. "Just like you."

His eyes snapped back to mine and they hardened. "That excuse only works for so long, Jasper."

"Exactly." We were at another impasse. I needed to fuck men to keep my job and he needed to stay in the closet for his. I ran my hands through my hair. "Edward, what do you want me to do? Tell me."

Tilting his head, he stared at me, his expression worn. "Quit."

"I can't. It's my fucking job. I need the money. I need to survive, eat. Are you going to pay for my apartment? My food? Clothing?" He looked away, chewing on his lower lip. His silence was my answer. "I didn't think so."

He motioned to his watch still on my wrist. "So tell me, did you ever take it off?"

Ashamed that I had broken my one promise to him, I stared at the floor, unable to look at him when I spoke. "I had to."

"Why?" his voice cracked with the one word.

"I did some work on a ranch and it would have killed me if anything happened to it." I saw him roll his eyes and scoff at my words. "I held it and read the inscription every day, and wished I was…home with you."

"You sounded pretty at _home_ with him," he growled before clenching his eyes closed for a second. "I was supposed to be your boyfriend," he whispered.

"You_ are_ my boyfriend," I stressed, "but I've never had a boyfriend before, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

"You're supposed to be faithful," he challenged quietly.

"How, Edward?" I challenged right back. "How the hell can I be faithful? This is what I am, you know that, either you accept or…you don't."

Then he said the words I was least expecting.

"I don't think I can anymore."

The pain in my chest was immeasurable as it strangled my already shattered heart. Air forcibly rushed from me and I gasped for breath when my throat constricted. I didn't swipe at the gathering tears that time, I let them fall, I let him witness my pain. I showed him what he meant to me. He looked away, his gaze falling somewhere on the floor near the couch. Standing there, I waited for him to say more, to change his mind, to take it back.

I saw us hugging and kissing, even smiling when we realized how foolish we were both being.

But there were no hugs, no kisses, and sure as fuck no smiling.

There was crying. There were broken hearts. There was anguish.

"Edward, please, don't do this. Please," I begged him, almost dropping to my knees and clasping my hands. "We can make this work, I know we can."

He never replied.

It was over.

We were over.

Somehow, I moved toward him until he was within reach. Clouded emerald eyes held fast on the floor.

"So this is it then," I murmured, willing him to look at me. I saw the tiny muscles in his jaw flex as he fought for the control I had already lost. "Edward, I…" I stopped and reached up to him, expecting him to bolt away from me at any second. When he didn't, I cupped his face and dragged my thumb along the soft velvet of his cheek, wiping away the tear that had fallen. Breaking the gaze, he closed his eyes and I felt him relax into my touch for the briefest of seconds. Any other time it would have filled me with joy to feel him give himself to me like that, but right then it just crushed me even more.

_I love you_, _Edward._

I thought it, I felt it, but I couldn't bring myself to say, to risk any more agony than I already knew. The words would forever be inside me, buried deep in my soul where they would remain hidden where no one would ever know it again. My hand dropped to my side and just as I went to move past him, he opened his eyes and let them settle on mine.

He let me see it, the love was back in his eyes. He let it shine one more time before I left. I wanted to do so much right then. In those few precious seconds I saw the light in his eyes, I wanted to tell him to have a good life and that I hoped he would find love again. I wanted to kiss him, tell him I would do whatever he needed to make it right between us. I wanted to tell him that I felt it too, that I had finally figured out that all along the fucking pull was love.

I wanted to tell him that I loved him with everything I was, that I had suffered through my life just to find him, to let him save me, even if it was only for a few months.

Instead, I looked away and did the single hardest thing I had ever done.

With a soft click of a door closing, I walked out of Edward's life.

"**~~**"

I had ignored the stares from the strangers on the streets as I walked back to my apartment, the tears flowing down my cheeks with absolutely no shame or control. My vision was blurry and I felt myself sway a few times. I debated on going to try to find Riley at the docks, to let him comfort me and absorb some of my hurt, but ultimately, I wanted to be alone.

After all, it was something I was going to have to get used to.

I entered my apartment and stumbled to my bed before collapsing on it. Staring at the ceiling, I reached down and unclasped the watch, letting it slide from my wrist onto the blanket. I felt naked without it.

I felt empty without him.

Reaching down, I grabbed it and then leaned over to put it in my drawer, the sound of it closing a sense of finality. I knew I should have put Teddy away too, hidden him in my closet out of my view, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I blindly reached out for him, pulling his furry body close to me.

I wasn't sure how long I lay there, completely devastated.

Alone.

Perhaps I should have been thankful that I'd had the chance to feel love when so many didn't. I knew it now. I had felt the warmth, the uncontainable joy when he was near.

The pull. The tug.

But I wondered if I would have been better off I had never met Edward, if I'd never felt the emotions that were now breaking me apart. I rolled onto my side, closing my eyes, not surprised when there were no tears left to fall.

The knock on my door roused me from my half sleep.

"Riley," I mumbled to myself as I climbed out of bed and headed for the door. I ached, every fucking single part of me, from the loss. I knew as soon as the door was open, as soon as I saw Riley, I would fall into his arms, holding him tight and ask him to make it go away. I needed him so fucking much.

Sliding the lock, I pulled the door open and looked up.

It wasn't Riley.

"Edward?"

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Deep breath everyone, Riley is alive…seriously though, I lost track of how many reviews said "I love Riley." That boy has been busy seducing you all! Yes, I realize that some of Jasper's actions mirrored Edward's from the last chapter…that was done on purpose.

You guys freaking rock! We received enough donations to purchase Dannie a full size laptop. She received it yesterday and was on it all night. We are planning a little something special for those that donated because we can't begin to thank you all enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Dannie and I are holding a contest, you can check it out there http:/www DOTfanfiction DOT net/~twoisbetterthanonecontest

Dannie and I are also taking part in the Big Gay Story, details can be found here: http:/www DOT fanfiction DOT net/~theslashtastics Go check it out, it's going to be epic!

made a banner for M&A. You can see it on my profile. Thank you so much Cerebella!

So…need to vent? Rant? Yell at me? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter theslashawards


	25. Christmas in Oz

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

**A/N- Many people have read this outake thinking it is the eventual outcome of M&A. IT IS NOT. This is NOT a futuretake outtake, it is just pure fluff we did for Xmas. These events in NO WAY affect the main storyline of M&A. **

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta on this, especially during a busy week!

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"I can't believe how fucking cold it is," I complained as I pulled my leather coat tighter around me. When the wind crept through my scarf, I flipped up the collar to protect the back of my neck. Bringing my hands up to my mouth, I cupped them and exhaled a long breath to thaw them out. It helped for about three seconds and then they were fucking cold again. "Most wonderful time of the year my ass. More like fucking coldest time of the year."

I'd been living there in the north for well over two years but it had not prepared for the brutality of winter in Chicago. There was snow everywhere and the wind just did not fucking stop.

It was like hell…only colder.

Standing next to me in his long Ralph Lauren wool coat, Tommy Hilfiger scarf, and leather gloves, he shook his head, ignoring my ranting. Instead, he took my hands between his and rubbed them really fucking hard. It worked, they warmed up and I could actually feel the tips of my fingers again.

"Thanks," I smiled at him and he nodded.

"I told you to dress warmer. I specifically recall saying 'don't forget your gloves, Jasper'," he reminded me and I shrugged. I had lived on the streets for two years and never had gloves, but apparently my body had adjusted to the balmy seventy degrees we kept the apartment set at and was no longer tolerant of the anything colder.

"Please tell me you got me a trip someplace tropical for my Christmas present?" I hinted with a slight smile. I'd been trying to get him to tell me what he had gotten me for a few weeks. I had even seduced him, asking right in the height of his passion what my present was, but he never divulged. He would just mumble something about being very good at keeping secrets.

I had to agree.

After all, he'd hidden his sexuality from all but two people for his entire life.

However, the not knowing what the present was killed me. I was so damn curious, I watched him all the time, more than usual even, to see if he would give anything away. He would catch me and just shake his head and kiss me, then say 'you know what curiosity did to the cat'.

Actually I didn't.

He flashed me a knowing crooked grin at my tropical trip comment. "Seeing you in nothing but a bathing suit for a week would be nice."

"Who said I'd wear a bathing suit? I want to sunbathe nude."

Just as my mind started to wander to Edward's sun-kissed skin and moonlit beaches, he tugged on my sleeve.

"Which one?" he asked as he surveyed the dozens of evergreen trees lined up against the makeshift wooden stands. I bounced up and down. Now it was my feet that were cold, my cowboy boots were nothing against the snow and bitter wind.

"Baby, they all look the same to me," I chuckled.

Seriously, they did.

Every fucking last one of them. They were all green and had branches, did they need anything else? I decided to ask.

"What else do they need?"

He sighed, exasperated with my lack of knowledge when it came to Christmas tree selection. "They need that something…extra, ya know? Something that just makes you look at it and go 'that's the one'."

"Ummm…okay," I said seriously. I really did want to learn how to pick out the right one. After all, it was a new experience for me and I was sharing it with Edward. I'd hadn't had a tree since my dad had piled up some branches in the corner of our house and declared it our tree.

Even though he hadn't had one in his own apartment in years, he was letting me pick out our very first Christmas tree.

"Let's do this," I said, holding out my hand. With a proud grin, he took it and we walked hand in hand up and down the rows, stopping every few trees to inspect one more closely. Christmas music piped through the outside Musak system and I swore I heard Edward humming along with it.

"Deck the balls?"

"Halls," he corrected as he looked at one tree more closely.

"Oh, that makes more sense, but who is Holly and what are her boughs?" I asked him seriously. He chuckled, but failed to answer my question. I wasn't sure I would ever understand Christmas songs.

I stopped at the end of the second to last row and pointed to a tree in front of us. "What about that one?"

Releasing his hand, I jogged over to the tree, as if I had to beat the rest of the crowds there on Christmas Eve to get it. There were only two other people crazy enough to be tree hunting on a frigid Christmas Eve with us. We had passed them a few times, apparently they hadn't found the tree that spoke to them yet either.

I reached into the center of the tree, gripping the trunk. When standing straight, it was about my height. "So, what do you think, baby?"

Tilting his head, he eyed the tree with a practiced skill. I fluffed the branches, primping them for his inspection. Edward walked around the tree, looking at up and down. I watched him as he checked it over. Maybe it was the moonlight beaming down on him or the colored lights hanging above us that gave the extra sparkle to his already beautiful eyes, or maybe it was the cold that provided the flush to his cheeks, but whatever it was, he looked positively breathtaking. His breath escaped from him, meeting the cold air in frosty swirls.

"Love, you know this is a Charlie Brown tree, right?"

I smiled at the endearment. He'd been saying it in public for a few months now, but it still warmed me every time he let the world know I was his.

And he was mine.

"Charlie Brown? Who's he again?"

"The short, bald boy with the white dog," he reminded me.

"Oh, right, and the bird."

"Woodstock," he supplied. "Charlie Brown had a tree that looked an awfully lot like this one."

He pointed to the areas where the branches were missing and a few on the bottom were completely bare of any needles. The top was scarce of anything other than a few stubby branches. It was nothing compared to the seven-foot full trees that surrounded us but it had that something extra Edward had been trying to tell me about.

I sensed it.

"There are dozens of trees here, Jasper. Why this one?" he asked me, curious.

"Because no one else will take it," I answered quietly. "If we don't give it a home, no one will and it would be a shame to be a Christmas tree and not have a home."

Leaning up, he kissed my cheek. "You're amazing," he murmured in my ear. "I love you."

They were words I had heard before. Actually, several times a day, but for some reason they never got old. Hearing him say them so freely, openly and with others nearby, heated my chilled body.

"I love you too, baby," I whispered back, tilting my head against his for a second. "Can we get the tree?"

"Of course."

Grinning, I called over the attendant. He came running over in his heavy canvas coat and Santa hat.

"We'll take this one," I told him proudly.

"You sure? I was going to run that one through the wood chipper tonight."

What exactly was he trying to say? He was going to destroy our tree?

"No! We want it," I said firmly, my hand gripping the trunk just a bit tighter. I could already feel the pitch between my fingers. "How much?"

Edward stood back, letting me barter for the tree, hands in his pockets as he swayed back and forth to the music.

"Well, it was fifty, but considering it's Christmas Eve and that is a pretty shitty looking tree, I'll give it to you for twenty-five."

"Done," I said, not bargaining any further. Reaching into my pocket with my free hand, I pulled out my wallet and then handed it to Edward. "Can you get the money out, baby?"

He took my wallet and pulled out two twenties and handed it to the man. "Do you need any help loading it into your car?"

"No, we've got it," Edward said as he put the change into my wallet and handed it back to me.

"Have a merry Christmas," the attendant said before walking off.

"You too," we called out after him. Smiling, I looked over at Edward and found him staring intensely at me, his breaths quicker than usual as his tongue ran languidly along his lower lip.

"What's wrong?"

"You're beautiful," he said simply.

Even though he told me that almost daily, I still blushed at the way he said it so openly, so honestly.

"Thanks," I smiled, cheeks still flushed.

"Even more beautiful when you blush," he teased. "Let's get it to the car."

I laid the tree down, ignoring the sound of the needles as they fell to the ground, and grabbed the bottom of the trunk. Edward grabbed the top and we lifted it and headed for the navy blue Mercedes parked near the fence.

"Now what?" I asked, looking from the tree to his too small car. "Baby, this won't fit in the backseat."

"It goes on the roof," he chuckled. Popping the trunk, he pulled out some twine and a blanket, and then directed me to the side of the car. I dragged the tree over and waited for him. He opened the door to the car and stood on the floor of it as he spread the blanket over the roof. "Protects the car," he answered without me asking. "Can you lift it up?"

Bending over, I gripped the tree and heaved it onto the roof. Then he threw the twine over and showed me how to put it through the doors and around the tree so it stayed tied down. I was concentrating on tying a knot when I felt Edward move behind me. I was standing on the floor in the open door, his hands on my hips steadying me unnecessarily. It was just an excuse to touch me and I loved it. I tugged on the end of the rope to make sure it was tight and then leaned back into him, letting him guide me down. Turning in his arms, I found his lips pressed to me in a brief, but public kiss. Just as my tongue went to search for his, he pulled away.

"Love, it's snowing," he whispered. Looking up, I saw the small white flakes falling by the millions from the sky. It was light, probably just a flurry, but it was magical all the same. They fell everywhere, on the streets and buildings, but they looked the most beautiful on Edward's hair.

"So pretty," I sighed. I would never get tired of seeing the snow. Well, at least not until the next day when snow banks blocked my path on the sidewalk and I had to walk through the brown slushy mess on the streets. It was too bad it couldn't stay a perfect blanket of unmarred white.

"Come on, let's get home and decorate it. The maybe we can rock around it," he chuckled to himself.

"Rock around what?" I asked as I got into the car and closed the door. He put the key in and started the car. "Heat, heat, heat," I said, rubbing my hands and he turned the heat on full blast.

"Brenda Lee's song Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree?"

I just stared at him. He broke into song.

_Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
Let the Christmas Spirit ring  
Later we'll have some pumpkin pie  
and we'll do some caroling_

"Baby, that was lovely, but I can think of way better things to rock around than a tree." He quirked a brow at me. "Just saying."

"Do we need to stop for anything on the way home?" he asked. "Hot chocolate to warm up?"

"Mm, sounds good."

He expertly pulled out into the busy Chicago traffic. He had offered to get me driving lessons so I could get my license but after living in the city for a few months and seeing the way they drove, I had decided to let him drive me everywhere. I had told him he could be my new Aro.

I missed Aro.

He called every few weeks to check on me, make sure I was doing okay. Wanting to give me privacy, Edward would usually leave the room when I talked to Aro. We would talk for a few hours and catch up on the latest gossip at the Service, but the conversation would usually turn to Peter at some point. Aro would see him around town at different events and told me that Peter always made a point to talk to him, and that Peter was never alone, there was always an attractive boy on his arm at every event.

As much as I missed Aro, I missed Peter more.

He had been such a presence in my life and I felt his absence. He had taught me, loved me and showed me what life could offer me if I was brave enough to chase after it, but while Peter had offered me the world, it was Edward who I wanted to see it with.

More than either Aro or Peter, I missed Riley. I couldn't believe it had been four months since he'd-

"Love?" Edward interrupted my thoughts. "You okay?"

I reached for his hand and entwined our fingers. "I'm perfect."

"You miss him, don't you?"

How did he always know? Sometimes I would be sitting on our couch staring out the window and he would come sit next to me, wrapping his arms around my middle before whispering in my ear that he missed him too.

"Yeah, sometimes I just expect him to show up at the most unexpected moments, just like he used to," I sighed.

"I know, me too. Remember the time he walked in on us when we were in the shower?"

I began laughing. "And then he said he needed to get clean too and proceeded to tell me I needed a bigger shower built for three."

Picking up my hand, he kissed it.

"We'll put something special on the tree just for him, okay?" he promised. We stopped at the coffee shop a block from our building and Edward ran inside to grab us two hot chocolates. When he returned, he handed me my cup and then pulled back out into traffic.

Minutes later, we reached our building and got out, leaving the car running for the valet attendant. Edward cut the twine and I pulled the tree off while he put the blanket back in the trunk and tipped the attendant. We lugged the tree through the lobby and into the elevator. When the doors opened, Edward stepped off holding the top of the tree while I followed behind him. He led us down the corridor to our place. After unlocking the door, he pushed it open and walked inside.

"Where's Toto?"

"Over there," he said nodding to the sleeping cat on the couch.

Edward and I had been walking around the city one day about a month after I'd arrived and had somehow ended up at the local animal shelter. Next thing we know, we were the proud owners of a Siamese mix with light blue eyes and the softest fur. She quickly became an important part of our lives; we even fought over whose lap she got to sit on while we watched TV. She had remained unnamed for about week while Edward and I tried out different names to see which one fit. We finally settled on Toto.

I kicked the door closed so Toto wouldn't escape and then followed Edward over to the huge wall of windows. Before we had left, he had set up the tree stand so we just had to put the tree inside it. Standing the tree up, I lifted it and guided it into the stand while Edward slipped off his jacket and pulled off his cashmere sweater. Then he lay down on the hardwood floor and reached under what was left of the bottom branches.

"Fuck," he grunted. "Fucking screws are hard to turn."

"What festive language," I teased him. Growling at me, he continued to turn the screws into the trunk until they held the tree up. "I have to admit, I like the view from up here."

Edward's legs were slightly parted, one straight while the other was bent, pulling his pants tight across his crotch and pressing on nicely on his cock.

"There," he said, standing. Then he sighed. "Jasper?"

"Hmm?" I stepped back from the tree next to him.

"It's crooked."

I angle my head to the left. "Not if you tilt your head this way."

He tried to glare at me, but when he saw my grin, he couldn't help but return it. "Before we start, let's get a fire going. Oh, and music. And we need dinner. Suggestions?"

I walked over the fireplace and crouched in front of it. "Pizza."

I knew he would know why I wanted pizza. It was the food that always reminded me of Riley and if he couldn't be with us, I wanted to remember him anyway I could.

"The usual?" he asked as he picked up his phone and I nodded. I heard him ordering while I stuffed some paper under the logs of wood in the fireplace. I grabbed the lighter and held it to the edges of the paper until they caught. Blowing on the flame, I waited for it to spread and a minute later, the logs were smoking and beginning to burn. Standing, I straightened the two velvet stockings that hung from the mantel and then went to the Bose stereo and turned on the Christmas CD we'd bought few days before.

"Come on, let's get the lights," Edward said as he put the phone down.

Over the next hour, while we sipped our hot chocolate and hummed to the songs while Edward showed me how to check the lights before you put them on the tree. He claimed he learned that lesson the hard way. Then we strung them around the tree, weaving around each other and laughing when we got tangled.

It was foolish and childish and utterly perfect.

After the lights were on the tree, he handed me the plug.

"You do the honors." He turned off the overhead light.

Bending over, I plugged the tree in and immediately saw the glow of hundreds of twinkling lights.

"Wow," I said, staring at. I had seen decorated trees in the shops we'd been to, but ours was so much prettier. "It's beautiful."

Even if it was a little bare and crooked.

He moved behind me, putting his chin on my shoulder and I leaned back into him, letting my head fall back against him.

Life couldn't get any better.

I was warm, safe, and standing in the arms of the man I loved in front of our first Christmas tree.

"Ya know, there was a time I never thought this was possible," he admitted quietly. "I thought I'd lost you forever."

We had been through so much to find each other.

Edward was true love.

Turning my head, I kissed his jaw. "I'm here now, baby, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

He nuzzled my neck, his tongue licking the same spot he'd marked so many months ago. Over time, his possessiveness over me had lessened, but there was still the occasional flare of jealousy. Honestly, I found it fucking sexy as hell when he would get domineering. I loved when he brought the side of him that he usually saved for the boardroom into our bedroom. The way he would tell me what to do and throw me around.

"I love you. You know that right?" he reminded me again.

"I do. I love you, too. Now, what's next?"

"Garland, then the ornaments." He released me and got the box of garland. Carrying it over, he opened it and handed me the gold trim. "You start."

Turning, I began to string the garland at the top and worked my way down in the same pattern we had done the lights. Edward followed me around the tree, holding the bunched gold string in his hands, reaching out every now and then to grope my ass or kiss my cheek. We had just finished hanging the garland when 'White Christmas' began to play. Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms.

"Dance with me," he demanded softly.

I placed my hand on his shoulder like he'd taught me, and then let him lead me in a waltz around the lit tree. It was sweet and romantic as he guided me around, the lights giving us both an ethereal glow. I was still new to dancing and was proud of myself for only stepping on his toes once. The feeling of his hand on my waist, the gentle stroking of his thumb through my shirt, made my heart soar.

It still amazed me how the simplest of his touches could bring my body such pleasure, such comfort and release.

The song ended and he drew me in for a lingering kiss, his velvet tongue entering my parted lips just as I moaned to beg for more. I released his hand and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer until our bodies were flush and pressed head to feet. His hands were in my hair, buried in the curls at the nape of my neck, and he angled his head to deepen the kiss. Our lips met repeatedly, our hands desperate to find something to hold onto, to tether us even more than we were. It seemed I could never get enough or close enough, and each time I tried, I only wanted more. He pulled away first, his breaths shallow as he rested his forehead to mine.

"We need to finish the tree," he sighed. With one last kiss, I broke free of his embrace. "The ornaments are by the couch."

While he caught his breath and adjusted his pants, I got the boxes of ornaments. Edward and I had bought them together a few weeks earlier when he had taken me shopping. As soon as we saw them, we knew we had to have them. They had been expensive, but the meaning behind them was priceless. I carried the boxes over to Edward and put them down on the chair near the tree.

I went to open the first box and the doorbell rang.

"Food," Edward grinned and headed for the door. He buzzed the delivery person up and paid for the pizza. When he returned, he set the pizza down on the table and went to the kitchen for beer. It had been a busy day of shopping and tree hunting and I was starving. Unable to wait, I opened the box and picked up a slice of sausage and onion.

Riley's favorite.

Edward came back into the living room just in time to find me moaning and licking sauce off my lips.

"It's really good," I mumbled around the bite in my mouth. He handed me my beer and we clicked our bottles before taking a sip. We always toasted before drinking, and it was always the same toast.

"To finding each other," he whispered.

"To finding each other," I smiled and then downed half my beer in one long gulp. We each inhaled a slice before starting on the ornaments. Edward opened the box and pulled the first one out. Holding it up in front of the tree, he grinned.

"These are perfect," he said as he searched the tree for just the right spot. We continued to hang the ornaments, finding the perfect spots for the different shapes. Edward opened the last box and then looked up at me as I hung the small dog on a branch.

"I think you should hang this one," he said as he picked up a heavy ornament. Taking it from him, I walked around the tree, settling on a branch near the top where it would be seen by everyone, maybe even Riley himself. I stepped back and stared at the perfect rendition of the Witch's flying monkey, complete with little gray and blue hat and wide wings.

_The flying monkeys fucking freak me out. Monkeys with wings are just not right._

I couldn't help but smile.

Every ornament on the tree was from the Wizard of Oz. There were glass bulbs with images from the movie on them, and others were porcelain, handcrafted and painted exactly like characters and scenes from the story. There was Glinda, the Lollipop Guild and of course the Wicked Witch of the West and her soldiers. Also hanging from the branches were the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and Lion, Dorothy, her ruby red slippers and Toto too.

But it was the flying monkey that made a tear roll down my cheek.

I felt Edward behind me and I leaned back, knowing he'd be there to catch me, just like he always was when I missed my friend. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall as he kissed each one away with his soft lips.

"I didn't mean to make you cry," he apologized and I shook my head.

"It's okay. I just miss him sometimes." I gazed at the tree, perfect in its imperfection. "I think it's the most beautiful tree ever."

"It is, because it's ours," he murmured. "C'mon, let's sit and eat and enjoy our time alone before tomorrow."

He led me to the bedroom where we changed into some flannel pajamas. Edward's had little reindeers all over them while mine had little dancing snowmen. When I'd had seen them at the store and squealed with delight, Edward rolled his eyes but indulged me by buying them for us. After he'd paid for them, he shook his head mumbled something about how he 'was wrapped around your damn finger'. When I kissed him, he then mumbled that maybe being wrapped around my finger wasn't so bad. I had assured him that being anywhere near my finger was a very good place.

Shirtless and with bare feet, we went back to the living room and Edward brought the pizza over to the couch before getting more beer. I turned off the overhead lights and put more wood on the fire and then we sat on the couch eating pizza by the glimmering glow of our tree. The reds, blues, yellows and greens lit up the room in a dim rainbow. The city sparkled through the windows behind the tree, but Chicago's lights paled in comparison to the ones in our living room.

After a few more slices of pizza each, Edward moved back on the couch, patting the couch between his parted legs. I leaned my back against his chest, resting my head on his shoulder, my hands on his calves. After kissing my hair, he wrapped his arms around my chest and laid his over my heart. As soon as we were comfortable Toto jumped onto my lap and I moved a hand from Edward's leg to scratch her head. The fire flickered warmly to our left, the sounds of the crackling wood cutting through the air.

"This the best Christmas Eve ever," he said softly. Leaning to the side, I looked at him.

"You must have had some pretty good ones," I assumed. After all he had a picture perfect childhood.

"I did," he admitted, "but none of them compare to having you here with me, in our home and in my arms in front of our own tree."

"I love you," I purred as I nuzzled his neck, my tongue licking along the tender flesh. I felt him shudder and his breath hitch.

"Love you, too," he barely finished before his lips were covering mine, his tongue tasting the pizza and beer. "Delicious," he said as he pulled away. Settling back against his warm body, I stared at our tree, and felt my heart swell so much it hurt.

It was so much more than a crooked Christmas tree.

It was our struggle to find ourselves and each other.

It was the friends and lovers that were gone from our lives.

It was a love so pure and true, we couldn't deny it.

It was hope and joy for a long future together full of laughter.

It was making love and connecting in the most special way two people could.

Sighing, I covered his hand over my heart, swearing it was the only thing that kept it from bursting through my chest. After all the pain and ache it had endured, Edward had healed it. He'd healed me and my life.

He had been my savoir.

And I had been his.

"So, have you been a good boy this year, Jasper?" Edward chuckled in my ear.

It had been early December when we had run into our first Santa Claus on the streets begging for spare change. When I asked Edward to tell me about Santa, he took me into a coffee shop and proceeded to tell me about the man in red and his list of those who had been naughty and nice. I had known only a little of Santa Claus as child even though we had received a few presents each at the Home, they were from the workers, not Santa. My parents had told me about him, and I had remembered the red suit and that I had to behave all year in order to get presents from the large man, but I had forgotten about the reindeer and sleigh and the elves that helped him make the toys.

As Edward sat across the table from me, holding my hand, he explained it all thoroughly. My eyes grew with each new thing he told me and when he was done, I blushed and looked down at our hands.

"What?" he had asked.

"Do you believe in him?" I had asked shyly. Because I was beginning to think he was real, and that finding Edward had been my early Christmas present. Maybe Santa was making up for all those years he'd missed when I was a child.

"Define good," I returned with a smirk while my fingers laced with his on my chest. "Baby, when did you discover that Santa wasn't real?"

I felt him sigh and then he rested his cheek against the side of my head. "I think I was eight or nine. My parents had taken Alice and me to a party at my uncle's. While the grownups talked, Alice and I played hide and seek with our cousins."

"The game where the person that's it has to get everyone before they get back to base?"

"No, that's tag. Hide and seek is when everyone but one hides and that person has to find everyone else."

"Oh, right."

"So we were playing hide and seek and the house was huge but certain rooms were off limits. Of course, I wanted to win, so I tried to find the best place to hide. I went into their basement and hid in this little alcove under the stairs. I bumped into some wrapped presents and being the curious kid I was, I read the tags."

"And?"

"They were addressed to my cousins and they were from Santa."

"Maybe they were?"

"It was two weeks before Christmas."

"Oh."

"Yeah, it sucked. I was so shocked I just walked back upstairs and told my dad I wanted to leave. I never told him why."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"It's okay. I was sad and it made me look twice at those presents from Santa I got a few weeks later, knowing my parents had bought them all along. Do you remember finding out?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I had been told some stories about Santa from my mom and I studied my list every night to make sure I was asking for just the right things. I changed my mind a lot."

"What did you ask for?"

I sighed. Over time I had told Edward about my dysfunctional childhood, exposing everything from the drugs to the rape. He knew it all. Being held in his arms made the memories easier to bear but they still ached.

"Cans of soup and a jacket."

"Aw, love," he sighed and kissed my cheek. "I'm so sorry."

"The soup was a good choice because I could hide the cans under my bed in my room and I could eat them without having to heat them up. I asked for a jacket because even in Texas, it can get cold and all I had were some tee shirts. I had been good all year, I had gotten really good grades in school and helped around the house. I had done everything I thought I was supposed to and when I went to bed the night before Christmas, I put the list next to my bed with a half eaten cookie. I had gotten hungry and had eaten some of it. I even put that in the note. When I woke up the next morning, I was so excited but then I saw the cookie and list still on my table. I went out the living room to our tree and…it was empty. There was nothing under it. I cried because I thought I'd done something bad and then I remembered the cookie and I thought maybe he was mad at me because I'd eaten it."

I felt him tense, I knew he the anger was building in him, anger toward my parents for steeling my childhood from me.

"When my dad woke up and saw me crying, he asked what was wrong. I told him what had happened. He just stared at me and then he left. He came back a few hours later with a carton of eggnog and doll he'd found on the streets. He tried to tell me Santa dropped it outside our house but I hadn't asked for a doll."

"I'm going to make it up to you, Jasper. I swear, I am going to make up for every last bad memory you have, replacing them all with good ones," he vowed into my ear.

"You already have, baby," I assured him. I felt my body relax into him even more, letting his arms hold me tighter as my head lolled to the side and my lips found his neck and jaw, leaving light kisses along them. "Thanks for listening."

"Jasper, I hope I don't ever meet your parents because I _will _kill them." His tone had deepened, taking on an ominous timbre and I felt his body begin to tremble as the anger in him grew.

"It's was a long time ago." I turned his head and kissed him on the lips. "I have you now."

"Yes, do you."

Once he had calmed under my touch, I lay back down and pulled the fleece blanket off the back of the couch and covered us with it. Toto moved on top of it, still between my legs. Edward's fingers ran lightly up and down my arms, over the heavy watch I still wore every day until I was almost asleep. I heard A Christmas Song playing softly as my eyes fluttered closed and I burrowed into Edward.

"Baby?"

"Hmm?"

I could tell he was close to sleep as I was.

"What the hell are chestnuts?"

His laugh rumbled under me and his hand moved to my hair. "I'll show you tomorrow."

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you," I said with a warmth and joy I only felt with Edward.

"I love you, too."

It was the last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep, free of nightmares just like they had been since I had been back in his arms.

"**~~**"

"Shouldn't we get going?" I asked as he locked the door behind him.

"No, they aren't expecting us for a few hours and I wanted to spend Christmas morning with just you," he said with a beaming smile. He took my gloved hand in his and we headed for the elevator.

After falling asleep on the couch, I had woken up at about midnight and shook Edward awake. We both stumbled sleepy-eyed and yawning to the bedroom where we fell into bed. I curled my body around Edward's, slinging a leg over his and breathing onto his neck as I fell back asleep. In the morning, Edward had woken up first and I opened my eyes to my cock in his mouth. Threading my hands into his hair, I moaned and thrust up into his perfect mouth until I was crying out. When I had caught my breath, I returned the favor, enthralled with the way he writhed under me. Eventually we crawled out of bed and made breakfast, Edward cooked the eggs while I did the toast, coffee and set the table. We ate in our pajama bottoms, our feet touching under the table as we leisurely ate our eggs and toast.

"Where are we going?" I asked when we exited the building and didn't ask the valet for our car. The snow had fallen through most of the night and there were still some flakes falling, adding to the six inches already on the ground.

"I want to take a walk with you in a winter wonderland."

Our hands were clasped between us, as they usually were when we walked around the city. Edward was bundled up in his long coat and maroon scarf while I was in my leather jacket and wool hat, the ends of my hair sticking out from under it. We received a few questionable looks from others, but nothing Edward hadn't begun to grow accustomed to. Almost everyone we passed smiled and wished us a merry Christmas and we greeted them the same way. Edward led me across the street and then into the park. We strolled down the snow covered paths, hand in hand, stopping every now and then for a kiss. Edward's nose and cheeks were a deep red and I told him he looked a lot like Raindolph.

"Rudolph, love."

"Right," I nodded and then thought. "And how many again?"

"Eight, excluding Rudolph.

"Got it," I smiled. We stopped at a manmade ice pond and watched a few kids ice skating in their new Christmas presents. "Have you ever thought about having kids?" I asked Edward as he watched one little boy fall down.

"Not really. I know my mother wanted me to have them. I was expected to carry on the Cullen name, but I never thought about actually having any. What about you?"

"No. I don't think I could ever have children."

"Why not? I think you'd make a great dad," he said, nudging my side.

I shrugged, leaning against the wooden fence surrounding the ice rink. "I had such a fucked up childhood, and hell, even my adulthood, that I can't possibly be a good influence on a kid. What kind of stories would I tell? How I fought off a guy trying to hurt Riley or how much meth my parents bought instead of buying me food? There are just some things best left in the past."

"I understand, love." He leaned his head on my shoulder.

"Should we head back?"

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked me with a raised brow.

"Definitely. How bad can it be?"

"That is a loaded question," he scoffed. He kissed my cheek and then took my hand again. "Can we walk really slowly?"

I laughed and then swung our hands. "Come on, baby, do it with me."

"No, Jasper, not in public," he said lowly as he looked around.

"Please," I begged, pouting my lips the way he couldn't resist.

"Jasper, no," he said again, less firmly. He was beginning to cave. I pounced.

"Baby," I whispered in his ear. "Please, baby, just a little bit. It'd make me really happy."

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "You play dirty, Jasper Whitlock."

"Duh," I laughed.

He looked around for witnesses. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Practically bouncing in excitement, I grinned. "Okay, which one are you?"

"Scarecrow," he mumbled, but I could see the corners of his lips turning up.

"Why am I always Dorothy?"

"You look better in a dress."

"Good point. Okay, ready?" I stood next to him, our hands together between us.

"As I'll ever be."

"One. Two. Three!"

With perfect synchronization, we moved forward, skipping just like Dorothy and Scarecrow. Our feet kicked up the snow and we laughed so hard my sides hurt, but we kept going until we reached the street where Edward slowed to a walk. Bending over, he gasped for breath.

"I can't believe I did that in public. I feel like an idiot."

"Much more room here than in the apartment," I said, laughing as he stood up straight. Reaching out, he curved a hand behind my neck and pulled me to him for a kiss. I fell against him, my hands landing on his chest for balance as our lips pressed together. His breaths were warm when I felt them wash over my lips as we parted.

"Jasper," he choked out and I saw the emotions in his eyes. The love that he had for me, the passion and desire, the need and want, it was all there in the shades of emerald green. Bringing my hand to his face, I cupped his cheek.

"I know, Edward. Me too," I whispered before kissing him again. "We should go." I took his hand and without skipping that time, we walked slowly back to our building, the snow falling steadily around us as we reveled in our time together.

At our apartment, we changed and then packed up a few bags and carried them down to the lobby where we waited for the car to be brought around. We stuffed the bags in the trunk and then got inside. Edward put on some Christmas music and we headed north.

We pulled up ot his parent's house about thirty minutes later. I had been there every few weeks since arriving in Chicago. Edward and I usually making a point to eat dinner with them a few times a month, but we hadn't been there since early December. We usually preferred to hang out at home rather than go out a lot, but my tuxedo had been well used in December with all the parties we attended.

The outside of the Cullen house was covered in holiday cheer. Wreaths were hanging on every window and door, lights lined the front of the house and a few of the bushes near the porch. Someone had already shoveled the walkway up to the steps.

"Ready?" he asked me as he shut the car off in the driveway.

"Yep," I nodded. We got out and unloaded the trunk, lugging the bags up the steps of the huge porch before Edward set his down and opened the door, holding it while I walked in.

"Mrs. C, we're here," I called out and immediately heard her footsteps as she ran from the kitchen through the dining room and into the foyer where Edward was closing the door and stomping the snow off his feet.

"Jasper, merry Christmas, how are you?" Before waiting for my reply, she pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. As I stood up straight, she reached up and rubbed the lipstick off my face.

"Merry Christmas," I finally got out. I stepped aside and she repeated the process with Edward, brushing the snow from his hair. Mr. Cullen came around the corner, then paused and called back into the kitchen.

"Yes, they're here, Em." Mr. Cullen came over and hugged me. "How are you doing, son?"

"Very good, sir."

He sighed. "Jasper?"

"Right, sorry, Carlisle," I corrected. He nodded at me and then embraced Edward.

"Merry Christmas, boys," he said. "Emmett has been here since eight, chomping at the bit for you two arrive."

"Why?" Edward asked as he took off his coat and hung it up on the coat rack near the door.

"I have no idea. You know Emmett."

Edward helped me off with my coat and hung it up for me. Carlisle picked up our bags and motioned toward the living room. Edward took my hand and we followed Esme and Carlisle into the living room.

Their house was decorated like it was going to be on a postcard or in a magazine. There was a huge tree in the corner by the fireplace, covered in ornaments and lights and velvet bows. Live garland curled around the banister of the large staircase and poinsettias sat on almost every table. Above the fireplace was a large berry wreath with thick white candles lining the mantel under it. Hanging from the wood mantel were five stockings, each with a name on them; Alice, Bella, Emmett, and hanging next to Edward's on the end was one that said Jasper.

When I saw it, I felt my heart skip a beat. Edward sensed it and squeezed my hand. "You okay?"

I nodded and returned his squeeze.

They had thought of me.

It had been less than five months since I had showed up unannounced on their doorstep and kissed their son in front of them. Being welcomed, accepted into their family had meant more to me than I could have ever imagined. It was like I had parents again. They cared about me, about how I was, what I was doing. Esme would buy me random things when she was shopping, and Carlisle had even offered me a job at his company.

I hadn't taken it, but he had offered.

Carlisle ushered us all into the living room and then emptied our bags, putting our presents under the tree and Esme scurried back to the kitchen to finish whatever she was working on. Edward and I stood in the threshold of the living room and I felt him tug on my hand.

"Look up."

I did and saw some green ivy with red berries hanging from the archway. When I looked back at Edward, I saw him smiling.

"Mistletoe. It's a symbol of peace and love. You're supposed to kiss under it."

"I like that tradition," I murmured just as I leaned toward him for a kiss. I assumed it would be chaste, but Edward's fingers wound into my hair and I felt his tongue tracing my lips, encouraging them to part. I could never refuse him, so I let him in and then moaned when his moist tongue flickered along mine.

Fuck, the things that man could do to me.

Wrapping an arm around his middle, I pulled him closer and groaned when his fingers tightened in my hair.

"Get a room," a deep voice boomed.

"Keep going," a smaller, lighter voice challenged.

I liked her suggestion and tilted my head more, chuckling into the kiss when I heard Emmett sigh. Edward began laughing and pulled away.

"What's wrong, Em?"

"I think you two should move and let us straight guys have a chance. Bella?" He held his arms out.

"In your dreams," she smirked as she pushed passed him. "Merry Christmas, boys." She hugged us both, holding onto Edward just a bit longer.

"You didn't fly home for Christmas?"

"No, my dad's working anyway. I'll see him in a few weeks. Besides, how can I miss a Cullen Christmas?"

"Edward," a high pitched voice squealed. She came bounding down the stairs and practically jumped into Edward's outstretched arms. "I've missed you!"

"You too, sis. How's college?"

"Same sh-"

"Alice!"

"Sorry, dad. It was good," she settled and then turned to me. "Jasper!"

She might have been as tiny as a mouse, but she was as strong as an ox and crushed me in a hug.

"Hey, Alice, merry Christmas," I said as she released her death grip on me.

"You too." She turned to Emmett. "I'll take Bella's place under the mistletoe."

"No, you won't," her father chided from where he was crouched on the floor straightening out the presents. Once everyone had greeted each other, we all found seats in the living room and while Esme finished up in the kitchen, we all talked.

Edward sat on the couch and I sat on the floor in front of him, leaning between his parted legs. I often felt his fingers lightly twisting my hair or his hand resting on my shoulder. His subconscious touches were affectionate and open. There was no more shame in who he was and what I was to him. He was proud to be sitting behind me and call me his boyfriend.

Emmett sat in leather chair to our right and Bella in a smaller chair next to him. Alice folded her legs up under her on the floor by the tree and began to look through the presents Carlisle had just organized. When he was finished, Carlisle moved to a loveseat across from the tree. Reaching to the tray on the table next to him, Edward picked up a small, almost round, brown nut.

"Chestnut," he whispered and I nodded. They definitely didn't look like anything I'd want to roast on an open fire. Give me S'mores any day.

Esme came in with a glass of wine and offered us all some spirits while we opened presents. Edward, Emmett and I each took a beer while Bella opted for the wine. After the crackers and cheeses and dips were set out, Esme sat next to Carlisle, giving him a quick kiss.

Edward held his beer toward mine. "To finding each other."

"To finding each other," I repeated, tapping my bottle to his.

"You two are adorable," Alice sighed. Edward's laughter was muffled as he brought the bottle to his lips.

Carlisle sipped his wine. "So, Edward, enjoying your week off?"

Edward nodded and grinned. "It's been wonderful. We've slept in late every day, have done a ton of shopping and last night we got our tree."

"Oh," Emmett chimed, "so is it true that gay men decorate their trees with nicer balls?"

I snorted and then started giggling no matter how hard I tried to stifle it. Carlisle almost spit his wine all over his wife and Bella reached over and slapped Emmett's knee.

"What?" he asked, looking around. "It's true, right? They decorate better? Some extra chromosome or something."

"Yes, the Martha Stewart gene is in the DNA of all gay men," Edward smirked and Emmett rolled his eyes. Edward took out his phone and passed it around to show everyone a picture he'd taken of our tree. When the phone got to Emmett, he stared at it and tilted his head.

"Huh. I guess it's not true," was all he said.

"You know, Jasper, Edward hasn't taken a day, much less a week, off from work since he began over two years ago."

"Wow," I leaned to the side and looked up at Edward. "Really?"

"I had no reason to," he smiled down at me.

Alice sighed. "Are we ready yet?" she almost bounced in eagerness to get the presents started. While holiday music played softly in the background Carlisle handed us all our stockings and I held mine between my legs, completely unsure what to do. I looked around and watched as Emmett and Bella began to open their presents. Edward squeezed my shoulder and leaned forward.

"You can open them, they're for you."

Nodding, I pulled out the first of many small presents. As I opened each one, I grew more astonished. The presents ranged from gold cuff links to tickets to a Chicago Cubs game. When I was done and my presents were piled next to me, I looked up at Carlisle and Esme.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "That's the first stocking I've ever had."

Esme smiled but I saw her dab her eyes and Carlisle just nodded at me with smile of his own. "You're welcome, Jasper. It's the first of many stockings with us. You're part of our family now."

I nodded and lowered my head, overwhelmed with their thoughtfulness they had for a former whore and homeless kid. Never had I felt so loved by so many people.

Behind me, Edward finished opening his presents. Among other things, he received a pair of cufflinks that matched mine and tickets to a Bears game. I'd never been to any sporting event, although Emmett had dragged us to the bar to watch them enough and had been very patient about explaining it all to me, even if he had gotten exasperated a few times. When our stockings were done, we hung them back up on the mantel and then Alice began to dig through the pile of presents under the tree. She handed one to everyone and they each opened them one at a time. Bella received a cashmere sweater from Carlisle and Esme while Emmett got an autographed photo of the Bears quarterback. He was so happy I thought he might actually cry.

"HOLY SHIT!" he exclaimed and Carlisle just laughed, saying the quarterback was a friend of a friend. Alice opened a book she wanted, Carlisle opened a pen set, and Esme a bottle of rare wine. Edward opened his and I turned to watch. He peeled back the paper to reveal an ornament. It was in the shape of a Christmas tree with two faces on it. Each face was wearing a Santa hat and on the white of the hat was written our names. He laughed and held it up for everyone to see.

"It's great, thanks, Alice. We'll hang it on our tree when we get home."

She grinned and then told me I had to open mine. Biting my lip, I unwrapped the box and lifted the lid. Inside was a pair of soft black leather gloves that matched my jacket perfectly.

"Wow, thank you, Esme," I said as I lifted the gloves out and tried them on. They fit like they were custom made, the expensive silk lining caressing my skin. "They're beautiful."

"You're welcome, Jasper."

Alice handed out the next round of presents and Edward tapped my shoulder when his parents started to open our gift to them. Carlisle let Esme open it and when she lifted the cover off the box, I heard her gasp. Inside the tissue paper was an eight by ten thick silver framed photo of Edward and me. The photo had been taken about a month before at one of their dinners. Edward and I were helping decorate the banister and Bella had been walking around taking pictures. When she called our names, we turned and posed. Edward's arm was around my shoulders, our heads tilted toward each other and we were smiling. My dimples even showed.

The picture showed the pure joy we felt.

At the bottom of the frame was an engraving.

_There's no place like home._

She ran her fingers over the words and smiled. "Boys, this is incredible, thank you."

"It's a great picture, Edward," his father agreed.

"You look so happy," Bella smiled when Esme held it up for everyone to see.

"Because we are," Edward replied before leaning down and kissing me. It still surprised me when he felt so free to give kisses in front of his parents, but never once did he hesitate. Alice continued to hand out the gifts to everyone and soon there was a pile of presents in front of me larger than I could have ever imagined as child. Each gift was thoughtful and from the heart. Bella had given us a gift card to our favorite restaurant and Emmett got us Bears jackets to wear the game we had gotten the tickets for.

When I held up my jacket for everyone, he chuckled, "I was going to get you a lap dance the gentlemen's club, but that'd just be a waste of money." Bella promptly slapped his knee again. If Emmett kept it up, she was going to bruise him.

"Not if it was the right kinda club," Edward quipped.

"Alice, give Jasper that present there," Edward instructed her. She handed it to me and I read the tag.

It was from Edward.

Biting my lip, I looked up at him and he grinned. "Just open it."

The box was small and I unwrapped it quickly, tossing the shiny red paper aside before opening it. I pulled out a note card with Edward's handwriting on it.

"Read it," he said.

Taking a deep breath, I began. "My dearest love,"

Already there were sniffles and aws.

"As we celebrate our first of many Christmases together, I wanted to give you something meaningful that we would remember forever.

I love you always,

Your baby, Edward."

I set the note down and pulled out the picture under it. It was a small photo of Dorothy and the Scarecrow, under it were the words 'Now on Broadway' and behind that were two first class airplane tickets.

Confused, I looked up at Edward.

"A trip to New York city and two tickets to see The Wizard of Oz on Broadway on Valentine 's Day weekend."

My lip began to quiver and I couldn't stop it as I put the box down and turned around. Kneeling I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me in a long kiss.

"Thank you, baby," I murmured when we parted. "I love you so much."

"Welcome, I love you too," he whispered in my ear but I knew everyone heard our declarations.

After wiping a stray tear from my cheek, we finished opening presents. Or so I thought. Carlisle stood up and got one last present from the back of the tree.

"Merry Christmas, Jasper and Edward," Carlisle said when he handed it to me.

"Do you want to open it?" I asked looking up at Edward.

"You open it."

I didn't know if he knew what it was or not, but I ripped the paper off and took the top off the box. Inside was an envelope and some brochures for a place called Turtle Island. I had no idea where it was but I could tell from the photos of a sandy beach and aqua water that it was tropical.

"Open the envelope," Esme encouraged. I glanced at Edward and then did as she said. There were two plane tickets inside. The departure date was in early March and the return date a month later. Stunned, I lifted them and showed them to Edward. He looked them over and then turned to his parents.

"A month in Fiji?" Edward asked, his voice betraying his surprise. Fiji? Where the hell was Fiji? I had some Googling to do.

"Yep," Carlisle grinned. "We rented Turtle Island for you. It's yours for a month, the staff is yours, all your food and activities are included. It's very private and the cottages are right on the beach, completely open."

"Wow, Carlisle and Esme, I don't know what to say…" I glanced at Edward for help but he was just as surprised as I was. "I've never…"

"Jasper, we waited a long time for Edward to find someone special and now that he has found love, he has some lost time to make up for. He's never taken any time off work, it's about time he relaxes and enjoys himself…and you."

Edward stood up and went over to his parents, hugging and kissing them both. "Thank you so much."

I followed him and did the same thing.

"You make him so happy," Esme whispered in my ear.

"I guess you got your wish of a tropical getaway," Edward chuckled to me.

"So Jasper, what did you get Edward?" Emmett asked. Edward looked at me with curious eyes.

"I got him something very special, but I'll give it to him later," I replied coyly.

"I bet you will," Emmett snorted, wiggling his eyebrows and Bella whacked his knee again.

"Is that all you ever think about?" she scolded.

"Hell, yeah. I'm a young, healthy, virile man who is always looking for a way to get la-"

"Emmett!"

"Sorry, sir," Emmett apologized.

"I need to go finish a few things in the kitchen," Esme said standing up. Bella and Alice offered to help and followed. Emmett turned to Edward and me.

"Snowball fight?"

"Hell, yeah," Edward replied. Carlisle shook his head.

"Boys will be boys," he sighed.

"Even gay ones," Emmett added.

Edward went to get his coat and I grabbed his wrist and shifted my weight back and forth. "Baby, I don't know what to do in a snowball fight."

"You just hit Emmett with snowballs. I'll show you how to make them," he replied softly and without judgment. Sometimes I thought he would get frustrated with me and having to explain the simplest things, but he never did. He always explained them respectfully and with adoration in his eyes.

We got our coats and gloves on and went outside with Emmett. After Edward showed me how to make a hard packed snowball, they allowed me a few test throws. When my first snowball smashed against a tree trunk, I felt oddly satisfied.

"Ready?" Edward asked, grinning. The cold had flushed his cheeks and his eyes were bright and clear.

Perhaps it was my street smarts, or my innate ability to survive, but I kicked their asses in the snowball fight. After my last snowball smacked Edward, he stood up, brushing the snow off his coat, and laughed. Emmett eyed me suspiciously and asked if I'd ever had any military training. Bella appeared on the porch in her jacket and hat.

"Got room for one more?" she asked and Emmett laughed.

"Bella, snowball fights are a boy's game. You go back to the kitchen," Emmett laughed. Bella promptly hit him in the head with a snowball. Emmett stopped laughing, and eager for revenge on me, said we should do teams.

"Me and the Major against boss and employee," Emmett suggested.

"No way, Jasper and I are a package," Edward argued.

"Fine, you and the Major against me and Bella," Emmett agreed. Bella looked me up and down. "Don't let his gayness fool ya, Bella, he's lethal."

Bella laughed and we made up some new rules and safety zones. After a good sport handshake, Edward and I took off for the side of the garage. The snowballs flew back and forth for a few minutes, Emmett hitting us from his spot behind the woodpile next to the porch while Bella ducked behind Edward's car in the driveway.

"Don't hit my car," Edward growled at me when I step out to throw. When I took cover behind the garage, I nodded toward Emmett.

"His backside is weak, if we flank around this way I think we can get Emmett here," I said as I drew a diagram in the snow to show Edward where to go. "Bella will probably take cover about right here," I pointed to another spot. "But if I come up from here, it'll be her blind side and she won't expect me. I'll cover you while you go for Emmett."

Satisfied my plan would work, I looked up to find Edward staring at me.

"What?"

"Where the hell did you learn this? You can't even blame it on too many action movies."

I shrugged. "I don't know."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you."

Before he moved, I palmed his dick and whispered in his ear. "Protect your cock, baby, you're going to need it to fuck me later."

His entire body shuddered and I hear a soft moan escape him.

"Are you trying to distract me?"

"No, I need you to focus," I said.

"Come on out, boys," Emmett challenged.

"Okay, got your balls ready?" I asked Edward as I peeked around the corner at our enemy. Edward started laughing.

"Yes, love, my balls are ready anytime you are." I raised an eyebrow. He kissed me. "Good luck, love. If I don't come back, I love you," he smiled right before he took off. Stepping out behind him, I covered him with snowball after snowball to keep Emmett and Bella hidden. The plan worked perfectly, Edward executed it just as I had showed him and we had Emmett and Bella begging for the pummeling of snowballs to stop. My boardroom whiz sexy boyfriend had an arm on him, repeatedly pounding Emmett with snowball after snowball. When they had had finally surrendered, Edward and I kissed in victory.

Emmett looked down at Bella. "We should kiss too."

Tilting her head back, she looked up at Emmett. "Maybe if we'd won."

"Damn it," Emmett huffed.

"How about a snowman?" Edward suggested with a mischievous flare in his eyes.

"I'm in," Emmett said, rubbing his hands together.

"Me too," Bella agreed. After arguing over the best way to start the snowman, Emmett and Bella worked on the bottom ball while Edward and I rolled the other two. We laughed, giggled, teased and joked, Emmett's dirty mind entertaining us all. With Edward and his family and friends, I felt a completeness I'd never known before, an acceptance for who I was. In the Cullen's front yard, my cheeks reddened from the cold and my hair damp from the falling snow, I had realized I was leading a life I had never known existed or had dared to dream of.

I was in love.

I was loved.

We were almost done with our work of art when Esme appeared at the door and called us in for dinner. Still laughing over Emmett's placement of the carrot in the snowman, we walked inside and took off our coats. After shaking off the snow, Bella and Emmett headed for the kitchen. I went to follow but Edward grabbed my wrist.

"Wait," he murmured just before dragging me under the mistletoe and pulling me in for a kiss. With his long fingers fisting my hair, he brushed his lips across mine. Our lips met again and again, each kiss building in intensity. Finally, I pulled away and stroked his cheek with the back of my fingers, his skin still cooled from the winter air.

"You don't mistletoe as an excuse to kiss me, Edward," I reminded him. "You can kiss me anytime. I'm yours."

"Mine," he sighed.

"Boys!"

Smiling, he freed my hair and took my hand to lead me to the dining room. It was as decorated as the rest of the house, elaborate centerpieces sat in the middle of the table surrounded with platters and bowls of food. Edward and I sat down next to each other with Bella, Alice and Emmett across from us while Carlisle and Esme were at the ends. There was more food on the table than I'd ever seen in one place. Turkey, potatoes, stuffing and just about every other side dish I could imagine were spread across the heavy oak tabletop. We ate and drank, the wine and bourbon pouring liberally. Because he was driving, Edward only had one glass of wine, but finally being of legal drinking age, I indulged in a few glasses. The conversation started off innocent enough, but somehow led to Edward's time in Seattle and how he'd met me.

After coming out to his parents, he had admitted to having an affair with a man in Seattle. However it wasn't until I showed up on his door and he introduced me to them that they knew who I was. We'd been living together in Chicago for a few months before we sat his parents down one night and told them everything. Well, not quite everything. We left out details of my years at the Home and living on the streets. They thought I'd left Texas and gone right to being an escort for Tanya. It was better that way.

Edward was surprisingly calm about telling them. He told me that if they didn't accept me for whom I was, then he'd walk away. He was going to choose me over his family, over his career. Gripping my hand tightly, we had walked into the Cullen house and told them.

They had taken the news rather well. Being the businessman he was, Carlisle had immediately started actions to make sure my former career path never came to light. He said it was no one's business and he wanted to make sure that Edward's and my relationship wasn't dragged through the press simply because I had been an escort. Whatever he did worked, the well known PR firm that Carlisle had hired had somehow managed to keep our secret quiet.

He had done his job and done it well, just like he promised he would.

"So," Esme said as she brought her fourth glass of wine up to her lips. "Jasper, how are you adjusting to Chicago?"

"Yes, it's different from Seattle. Colder, more crowded, but the lake is amazing."

"It's the best reason for living here," Alice chimed in and Bella agreed.

"Nah, best reason for living in Chicago is the women," Emmett added.

"How's work going, Jasper?" Carlisle asked as he served himself another helping of potatoes.

"Really well. I enjoy it a lot."

"You won't have a problem getting the time off for the trip will you?" he asked, a bit concerned.

"Not at all. My boss loves me," I smirked. Edward's hand rested on my thigh and he squeezed it. "He'll give me whatever time off I need."

"Good to know," Carlisle nodded. "Are you still in the PR department?"

"Yes, it's the place I'm most comfortable," I answered and took a gulp of wine.

"I bet," Emmett snorted.

"Emmett!" Bella shoved him and he raised his hands. Blushing, I looked down at the table, I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed about my work, but it still surprised me when it was discussed so openly. I still felt like it was something we should be hiding and I had to keep reminding myself that they all knew. Esme cleared her throat and when I looked up at her, I saw her eyes were starting to glaze over and her cheeks were pinker than usual.

"So, Jasper," she began in a loud whisper. "What's the kinkiest thing you ever had to do?"

"Esme," Carlisle sighed but a smile teased his lips.

"I don't mind," I told him before turning back to his wife. "Kinkiest?" I asked and she nodded. "Well there was this one time I had to dress up in a kilt and ja-…mast-entertain someone."

"Anything else?" she hedged with raised brows.

Well, if she really wanted to know.

"Actually there was this one couple. The guy liked to tie up his wife and then make me have-"

"Anyone want anymore turkey?" Carlisle interrupted with a deep blush on his cheeks.

"Hell, no," Emmett said, leaning forward toward me. "I want to hear more."

"Me too," Alice quipped.

"Me too," Esme raised her hand.

"Another time, perhaps," Carlisle stopped their fun with a shake of his head and they all looked crestfallen. The remainder of dinner went well, we finished desert and then enjoyed a few more glasses of wine before Edward rested his head on my shoulder and asked if I was ready to go home.

_Home._

It still sounded strange to say that word. For the first time in my life, I actually knew what it meant to have a home.

"Ready to go, baby?" I knew he was getting tired and I wanted him fresh for his present later. The things I'd had planned for Edward….

"Yeah, I think so," he yawned. I finished my wine and then we packed up our presents and loaded them into the car. We hugged and kissed everyone goodbye, promising to go to dinner with Bella and Emmett the next night and brunch with Carlisle and Esme the following weekend. Finally, we got into the car and Edward backed out of the driveway. In my pocket, my cell phone vibrated and my heart halted, but I ignored it. I knew exactly who it was.

"I think your mother has a kinky side to her," I grinned.

"Ew," Edward said, rolling his eyes. "If she does, I don't need to know about it."

He drove slowly through the barren streets while I stared at his profile.

He was truly beautiful in every sense of the word.

"So, what did you get me for Christmas, love?"

"You'll see when we get home."

"Mmm…" he moaned and my cock twitched.

I had been planning his present for a few weeks, it had been more time consuming than I had thought but in the end, I knew it would be worth it and that Edward would love it. I had taken great care to keep it a secret from him and never once gave into his begging and pouting for hints.

We pulled up in front of our building and unloaded our presents before giving the keys to the valet. As we stood in the elevator, I was amazed at how nervous I was. My heart literally pounded in my chest when the doors opened and we stepped off. When we reached our door, Edward put his bags down to get his key out and I stopped him.

"Let me do that," I said, taking the key from him. He eyed me warily as I unlocked and pushed the door partially open to shoved our packages inside. Then I turned to Edward.

"Do you trust me?" I asked quietly.

"Of course, Jasper," he replied just as quiet, gazing at me openly. He didn't fear my question, he was curious about it.

Stepping behind him, I cupped my hands over his eyes.

"Okay, you can go inside," I whispered in his ear.

My heart skipped and raced and pounded as he blindly pushed the door opened and stepped inside. I hoped Aro was right.

I hoped it was only one party that Peter would have to attend without his beautiful boy on his arm.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

"Hello, beautiful."

The rich, teasing voice hit my ears and my mouth fell open immediately after, my heart pounding furiously in my ears as my cock twitched in anticipation. No matter how long it had been, I would know that voice anywhere. With a smile stretching across my face, I reached up and grabbed Jasper's wrists, pulling them away from my eyes so I could look at the boy I knew would be in front of me.

_Fuck me._

He was already naked.

And mostly hard.

"What are you...I can't believe you're..." I stuttered, unable to form coherent sentences as I gazed at his slim, toned, very naked body. He had been beautiful when he was underweight and dirty from living on the streets but now, healthy, clean and relatively fit thanks to the personal gym he had twenty-four -seven access to, he was nothing short of breathtaking.

"You're naked," I finally managed to state the obvious and I heard Jasper chuckle in my ear.

"And hard," Jasper piped up from behind me, his hands resting possessively on my hips. "Did you use my laptop to look at porn, again?"

"Oh, please." Riley rolled his eyes, literally _sauntering_ over to his us, completely comfortable with the fact that he was naked while Jasper and I were still fully clothed. "I didn't need fucking porn when I knew you two would be coming home. I just thought of all things I'm going to be doing to your boyfriend." He finished with a smirk.

"Merry Christmas, baby," Jasper whispered, dropping an open mouth kiss to the back of my neck, just above the collar of my coat.

Confused, I looked back at him, feeling butterflies appear in my stomach when I saw the mischief his eyes held. When I looked back at Riley, he simply winked at me, leaning forward to kiss my neck as well.

"This is my Christmas present to you. A night with Riley," Jasper confirmed.

Moaning, I tilted my head instinctively when Riley's tongue licked a thick stripe up to my ear.

"Really?" My voice was octaves higher than usual, unable to contain my excitement and arousal as the possibilities flooded my mind.

"Best present ever, right?" Riley chuckled, pulling back to look into my eyes with a smile. "As much as I'm ready to get to that," he looked at down at his hard cock for emphasis and then back to Jasper, "can I get a fucking 'hello' first? I haven't seen you five in months."

Instantly, Jasper's hands left my hips and he moved from behind me, stepping to the side before wrapping his arms around Riley's waist and pulling him flush against his body. I watched as Riley's eyes glazed even further, his arms encircling Jaspers neck as his entire demeanor instinctively and immediately shifted from the dominate top to the submissive bottom.

"Hey," Jasper murmured huskily.

"Hey," Riley returned as he unconsciously leaned forward, waiting for Jasper to capture his lips in a searing kiss. I watched as their mouths met and met again, tongues flickering to tease and taste, before Riley tightened his hand around Jasper's neck and deepened the kiss. When I saw Jasper's hand leave his waist and travel down to grope Riley's bare ass, I moaned. Watching them so intimate, so comfortable and casual with each other was one of the fucking hottest things I'd ever seen. My cock, which had twitched when I'd first seen Riley, was completely hard as I watched them kiss. I could hear their moans and pants and I shifted my weight.

I wanted some too.

"I thought you were here for me," I pouted breathlessly.

Reluctantly, Riley pulled away from Jasper's lips and they stared into each other's eyes for a long moment before Riley finally looked to me with a smirk curling his lips.

"No worries, beautiful, there is enough of me to go around."

He'd barely finished before he was kissing me so deep, so forcefully, that my knees weakened and I felt my body give way and I would have fallen to the floor if Jasper hadn't moved behind me for support. It seemed Riley's hands were everywhere. I felt them skimming and grazing over every inch of me, I felt them under my jacket, in my hair, on my ass and running up my sides. Behind me, Jasper's hands returned to my hips to steady me as Riley continued to tongue fuck me. I tasted the beer from our fridge, along with the mint of toothpaste, as his tongue explored my mouth as thoroughly as he had Jasper's. I let Jasper support me while my arms went around Riley's neck and I bucked my hips toward his, already desperate for what I knew he had to offer.

He still had the same affect on me.

Jasper had always teased that Riley was the best when it came to the art seduction, and though I had felt that Jasper was better, there was no denying that Riley was quite skilled in every way.

He had the ability to make a person feel like they were the only one in the room, hell, the only one on the planet. That he couldn't breathe without them, he needed them to exist, and there was nothing more powerful than that.

We continued to kiss until our hips were rocking erratically against each other, my cock hard and throbbing as Jasper used his position behind me to help push my body further into Riley's and I could feel Jasper's own erection pulsing against my ass even through our layers of clothing.

I was literally trapped in between two of the most skilled, attentive lovers known to man. I was never going to survive, let alone hold off my orgasm. As enthralled as I was, one question wormed its way through my lustful haze. Dizzy, I braced my palm against Riley's chest, pushing him away gently, but not far enough to lose contact.

"Wait," I panted. "What about Peter?"

Jasper laughed softly behind me. "You don't really think that Peter could stand in the way of Riley getting something he wants, do you, baby?" His voice was teasing, airy puffs of warm breath bathing my ear as he slowly rubbed his hard cock against my ass.

"Well, no, but..." I shrugged, frowning as I tried to picture Peter willingly sending Riley off to fuck another man.

Two men, actually.

I may not have known Peter well, but I knew that he had a possessive side to him, one that I was sure would make an appearance in an occasion such as this one.

"Beautiful," Riley sighed. "For one, why the fuck are you worried about my boyfriend when my hands are touching you? For two, Peter knows how long I've wanted you, and like Jasper is doing for you, he is doing for me. Giving me a night with you is one of his gifts as well. He also knows that, while I'm going to fucking love everything that happens tonight, I'll be going home tomorrow. Home to _him_."

Jasper must have already heard Riley's speech, or he just understood it on a level that I never could. Riley had the same ability that Jasper had, to keep sex separate from emotions.

One of Jasper's hands had found its way to my ass, kneading and groping while the other was under my shirt, teasing my nipples.

"Besides," Riley continued with a smirk. "Jasper's right. Do you really think anyone could stop me from getting something I want?"

"No," I smiled.

"And I want you. Right now. So are we done with the talking?"

I nodded and took his and Jasper's hands, tugging them through the living room and down the hallways to the bedroom, eager and all but bouncing with anticipation. Riley's sexy chuckle made me flush with embarrassment as I pushed opened the door to our room, quickly flicking the on the light beside the bed. It was a sparsely furnished room, the biggest piece of furniture being the Eastern king size bed against the far wall. Opposite the bed were our dresser and a flat screen television hanging on the wall above it. A chair was in the corner next to the walk-in closet and small table that matched the ones on either sides of the bed stood next to it.

"Damn," Riley exclaimed. "Got a big enough bed?"

"More room to fuck on," Jasper said dryly.

"Good point." Riley turned to me. "Ready to test it ou-"

His reply died in his throat when I wrapped my hand around his still hard cock, stroking him smoothly from base to tip. He reached down and gripped my wrist in his palm, guiding my hand along his length as he captured my lips once more. His other hand was at my waist, undoing my belt and popping open the button to my jeans. While Riley worked on my jeans, Jasper slipped my coat off my shoulders and laid it over the chair. When he returned behind me, he wrapped his arms around me started undoing the buttons of my shirt, letting it fall open before slowly sliding it down my shoulders. He kissed along the exposed skin, murmuring something I couldn't understand.

"You taste so good," Riley mumbled.

Once my jeans were undone, Jasper kneeled behind me, tugging my pants down over my ass, quickly followed by my briefs, guiding them both down to my ankles. While Riley supported me with his hand on my back, I toed off my shoes and held up one foot at a time for Jasper pull off my pants.

"Let me go," Riley murmured against my lips as he tugged on my wrist of the hand stroking him. Confused, I let Riley remove my hand, then felt Jasper sliding my shirt down my arms and to the floor. Riley promptly grabbed my hand and put it back on his cock. They worked together, silently in tandem to undress me.

Jesus, they hadn't even me and I could already feel my legs shaking, threatening to collapse under their attentions. Kneeling behind me, Jasper kissed along my lower back and the curve of my ass and my hips couldn't decide if they wanted to thrust toward Riley or move back to seek out more of Jasper's lips.

Suddenly, Jasper was standing, kissing long the nape of my neck just as Riley drew me to him, pressing our bodies together as he moved his lips along my jaw line. Dropping my head to Jasper's shoulder, I let my eyes drift closed. There was a cool brush of air where Jasper's warmth had been and I opened my eyes to find him stepping backwards away from Riley and me. At first, I thought he was moving to undress, but he turned toward the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked nervously. I didn't know if I could do this without him.

"I'm going to give you two some privacy."

"Don't go far," I pleaded, stretching my hand toward him.

"Yeah, don't go far," Riley added, winking.

Jasper quickly returned to me, his fingers skimming over my bare chest as he leaned in and kissed me, lightly, tenderly, lovingly…possessively. When he pulled away, he looked at Riley.

"Mine," was all he said.

Riley nodded, "I know, I know."

Jasper looked back at me, his blue eyes so full of me, I could see myself in them. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered.

He squeezed my hand and then turned to leave, not pausing when Riley cleared his throat, but instead calling out over his shoulder. "Love you too, Rile."

"I knew it," Riley chuckled.

As I heard the bedroom door shut with a quiet click, I turned in Riley's loose embrace, I kissed him with the freedom Jasper had given me.

"Just the two of us, now, beautiful," Riley grinned evilly when he pulled back.

Goosebumps broke out over my entire body from the promise in his voice, letting me know that this was definitely going to be the best Christmas present I had ever received. Walking me backwards, he pushed me down onto the bed and covered my body with his, rubbing our hard cocks together deliciously, the precome we were already leaking allowed our erections slide against each other effortlessly.

"Feels so good," I whispered, licking the side of his neck.

"Fucking right it does."

He braced himself on his palms above me and I took advantage of the distance and attached my mouth to his nipple, teasing it with the flickering tip of my tongue. He gave a throaty groan and bucked his hips harder into mine, seeking friction. Shaking, he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head, grinning down at me.

"Think Jasper will be pissed if I mark you?" he asked, leaning down to run his nose along the column of my throat, inhaling deeply as he did so. When I arched my head to the side, encouraging him to mark me, he sank his teeth into my neck. Not hard enough to leave a bruise, but enough to make me want more. "Better not risk it," he sighed against my moist skin. "He can be a possessive ass sometimes."

My laughter turned into a whimper when he bit me again, a little harder that time, before letting go of my arms and sitting up.

"Turn over. Give me a chance to truly appreciate that delectable ass of yours that I've heard so much about."

Flushing from embarrassment and arousal, I obeyed his command, even being so bold as to spread my knees a little wider than necessary and arch my back a little more.

"Holy fuck," he sighed and I felt his lips on my left cheek.

Soon, his tongue and his teeth joined his lips, lavishing attention to every inch of my flesh. I felt fucking worshipped. Then his hands joined, kneading my ass, gently slapping at my damp flesh.

"Fuck," I gasped, my entire body jerking forward.

"So God damn sensitive," he exclaimed, nipping at my ass. "I bet you loved being rimmed, don't you?"

I hoped he didn't actually expect me to answer because a strangled whimper was all I could provide. That whimpered turned into a loud, pleading moan when his tongue swiped over my hole lightly.

"That answers that question," he chuckled.

Before I could reply his tongue was back at my ass, flicking over the sensitive nerves quickly while I arched my back and dropped my head to the mattress. His hands were on my inner thighs, spreading my legs further before one gripped my cock and began to rub and tease insistently.

"Oh, God," I cried when his tongue entered me.

Slowly, confidently, he fucked me with his tongue. Sure movements and perfected technique mixing together to create the most wonderful sensation, leaving me panting and pushing back, silently begging for more. Heavy breaths soaked the tender flesh of my ass as he licked and lapped. When he darted the slick muscle in and out quickly, I quickly became a jumbled mess of incoherent words and needy sounds, writhing on the bed and blindly reaching for my cock to relieve the ache that had settled there. My balls were drawn up tight as the tingling began to slowly work its way up my spine. As soon as my hand met Riley's, we began stroking my cock together, bringing me to the edge as he fucked me with his tongue and I fucked his hand. My body was once again torn between thrusting into our joined hands or pushing my ass toward his skilled tongue.

"I'm gonna come," I yelled, feeling my stomach tense in anticipation.

Immediately, everything stopped. His mouth left my ass and his hand fell away from my dick and I had cried out in protest, trembling as my orgasm receded, the sweet fire returning to teasing embers.

"You won't come until I'm fucking you," he told me and I heard the desk drawer on the nightstand slide open, followed by the welcomed sound of lube popping open and the tearing of a condom wrapper. The bed dipped as he position himself behind me.

"Ready for me, beautiful?"

Unable to answer, I only nodded, my head hanging low.

"Say it," he requested and I knew exactly what he wanted to hear.

After all this time, he wanted to hear those four words I had longed to say. Lifting my head, I looked over my shoulder at him, my eyes only half open under heavy lids, my cheeks flushed and my lips bruised from the kisses. In the dim light of the bedroom, Riley looked amazing with his long hair brushing long his jaw, eyes as lust-filled as mine and his cheeks even darker.

"Please fuck me, Riley," I moaned.

"Jesus," he groaned long and loud. "About time, beautiful, about fucking time."

I felt the wonderful burn as the head of his cock pushed at my hole. I felt the delightful stretch as he pushed himself deep into me in one smooth motion.

I felt everything.

And it was fucking phenomenal.

With a growl, he slapped my ass with an open palm, cursing when my inner muscles clenched around him response. For what seemed like hours, he stayed still, simply holding himself inside me.

He was as overwhelmed by our joining as I was.

I knew that he was waiting for me to adjust to his size but I knew it was also so he didn't lose control and pound into me too quickly. I could tell by the strain his breathing and the way his hand was clamping repeatedly on my hip.

"Wanted this for so fucking long, beautiful" he breathed, draping himself across my back. I could feel his chest heaving.

"Me too," I admitted, arching my back almost painfully to convince him to move. I needed to feel him pounding me, making me his in the only way he could. The only way that could be possible for us. Taking a deep, steadying breath, he pushed himself back up and gripped my hips tightly.

"Even better than I imagined," he whispered, slowly pulling out of my body, keeping the same pace as he pushed back in.

After each push and pull, he would still inside me, holding himself deep within me until he started to

shake and whimper. Only then, would he begin the cycle again. I was already trembling as well, struggling to keep myself from collapsing to the bed under the onslaught of pleasure. Eventually, he picked up the pace, not by much, just enough to heighten the experience without pushing us over the edge too quickly.

It was our one and only night together; he was going to make sure it lasted.

Riley being inside me was something I had imagined often and openly. More than once, Jasper had described it for me while I had jerked off but I had never actually expected it to happen. Not with all of the history between all the parties involved. It was something I would never forget and while the emotional bond and connection Jasper and I shared was absent with Riley, the chemistry and intensity rivaled my lover's.

His hands left my hips, one sliding up my bare back to grip my hair with the other reached under me to toy with my pebbled nipples.

I knew by the time the night was over, my throat would be raw from screams of pleasure.

Just as he established a quick rhythm, he pulled out of me. "Turn over, beautiful. I want to look at you."

Moaning at the brief loss of his cock, I quickly flipped onto my back and threw my legs over his shoulders, completely unashamed at my overly eager state. I wanted him to take me, to have me and fill me, and I didn't care how desperate I looked.

"Much fucking better," he mumbled as he pushed back in and we both groaned in unison.

Our bodies rocked, moving together in a beautiful rhythm every time we joined and separated. We caressed and stroked and petted, his fingers playing close attention to my nipples, pinching and tweaking, while I gripped his hips to guide him into me over and over me. Parted lips moaned and groaned, calling out our mutual desire. Riley clenched his eyes and lolled his had back as he began to fuck me harder. Sweat beaded on my skin as the knot in my stomach pulled tighter and tighter, making my muscles clench with the need to come. Riley must have been close too because suddenly his fingers dug into my thighs hard enough to leave bruises and he stilled completely, panting above me.

Slowly, his eyes opened, dark and glazed, and he stared at me for the briefest of moments before they rolled back and he bit into his bottom lip.

"Too close," he breathed, "too soon."

Reluctantly, he pulled out of me once again and I sat up, wrapping my hand around the back of his neck to guide his lips to mine. My fingers found purchase in the damp hair on the nape of his neck, fisting it while our tongues met repeatedly. As we kissed heatedly, his fingers found my hole, thrusting two into me quickly and finding my prostate. I had to break the kiss, letting my head drop back as growls spilled from lips.

"Stop, Riley. I'm close too," I warned, barely managing to stop my hips from rolling to meet his hand.

"God damn, I knew it'd be good but...fuck," he gasped with a look of awe on his beautiful face.

"I know," I agreed breathlessly.

Long minutes passed with his body next to mine as we collected ourselves. We continued to kiss and caress each other softly, keeping the connection even though he was no longer inside me. Eventually our bodies were quivering, each brush of our hands bringing us back to the heated passion and I once again found myself begging for him to fuck me.

"Ride me, beautiful. I want to see you on me so I can remember it forever," he pleaded in a low voice. Moving from me, he turned over and lay flat on his back. After drizzling more lube on his sheathed cock, I straddled him enthusiastically. When our bodies were joined again, he sighed happily and I moaned. I fell forward, my chest on his, my hands holding his above his head as his lips sucked and nibbled on my neck. Hitching my hips slightly back and forth I was able to ride the head of his cock as it slipped in and out of me without having to risk losing the feel of his mouth on my neck.

"More," he pleaded, his hands gripping mine tightly as he fought his own natural instinct.

Wanting it as much as he did, I planted my feet flat on the bed and lifted myself up, grunting when gravity took over and fell back into his lap. Throwing his head back, he moved his hands to my hips. Untouched, my throbbing erection bounced and swung as I bobbed my body up and down on his cock.

"God damn," he said through gritted teeth, digging his fingertips into my flesh.

His reaction made my cock twitch, so I did it again, feeling the power I held over him shoot through me with every needy sound I forced from him. Before long, he was rising up to meet me, twisting his hips just the right way to hit my gland, making me gasp and shudder powerfully.

It was fucking amazing and altering and so much more than I could have ever imagined, even with Jasper's descriptive words. Feeling Riley move under me, feeling his body want and need mine with an intensity that neither of us could control, made me come undone in just about every way. I forced my eyes open to watch him, every lick of his lips, ever twist of his mouth and shake of his head. When his eyes met mine, I showed him everything, all that I had wanted and needed from him for so long. All those months we had danced around each other, prevented from exploring what might have happened by our mutual loyalty to another. Letting go of my hip with one hand, he reached up to my face and brushed the back of his fingers along my heated skin.

"Me too, beautiful, for so long," he whispered.

"Riley, I'm coming," I cried, slamming down onto him one last time before every muscle tensed and locked in place. Without either of our hands on my cock, it pulsed and erupted.

"Fuck, yes," Riley growled when the first spurt of my cum landed on his chest.

Jerking involuntarily, my back arched further and further as each burst of cum shot from my sensitive cock, the coil in my belly slowly loosening as my powerful orgasm washed over me, leaving nothing untouched. Before the last bit of pleasure rolled through me, I heard Riley growl and thrust up into me quickly three times before I felt his cock jerk deep inside me as he finally came. Pulling me down, our teeth mashed together as I kissed him through his orgasm, swallowing his moans of completion. Gradually, our bodies returned from utopia while our lips were still pressed together.

Breathing heavily, I rolled off him and curled into his side, neither of us bothered by the fact that we were covered in sweat, lube and cum. Resting my head on his shoulder as the tension left my muscles slowly leaving me utterly stated. The only movement was Riley pulling the filled condom off his softening cock and tossing it onto the table.

I hadn't thought of him once while Riley and I were together. My mind and body had belonged to Riley during our time, but it was then, when I was lying quietly with Riley, that I closed my eyes and let the fog of happiness shroud me, wanting for nothing except for Jasper.

While I fit perfectly and easily into Riley's side, I needed Jasper's warmth surrounding me, his hard body pressing into mine to be completely comfortable.

Of course, Riley sensed it.

"Let's go check on our boy, yeah?" he murmured, kissing the top of my head.

Nodding against him, I lifted myself up onto my elbow and gazed down at him, noting the often mischievous look in his dark eyes had changed into a glaze of satisfaction. Sweat slickened hair stuck to his forehead and I pushed it away, exposing his eyes even more clearly.

"Thank you," I told him quietly.

A gentle smile formed on his face and he nodded, picking his head up to place a sweet kiss on my lips before he took my hand in his and pulled us from the bed. Wrapping his arms around my body one last time, he kissed my shoulder.

"It was better than I imagined, beautiful," he whispered. "Don't tell Jasper, but before tonight there were times I was tempted to risk our friendship for the chance to be with you."

Dropping my head to his shoulder, I nodded.

"And I would have done it in a second if I didn't…"

"Love him," he finished for me.

I lifted my head. "With everything I am."

"I know, beautiful, but that doesn't change what happened in here. How special and rare it was."

"Rare?"

"I've been with a shitload of men, and what you and I have, this," he motioned between us with his hand, "undeniable chemistry, is pretty fucking rare. I've only felt it with three people."

I knew eventually I would share what had happened in the bedroom between Riley and me with Jasper, but for awhile longer, I wanted to keep it, and him, to myself.

We shared a lingering kiss one last time before he walked us to the door. My body was still relaxed, but I felt the burn in my ass with every step I took.

"Should we clean you up?" I asked, pointing to my drying cum on his torso.

"Why bother? I plan on being covered in a lot more of your cum before I'm done," he replied.

The entire house was silent except for the padding of our bare feet as we walked hand in hand down the hallway and into the living room and I was unable to keep the goofy smile off my face.

As I soon as I spotted Jasper, though, the smile faded.

Sitting on the couch, he stared blankly at the fire he must have started, digging his teeth into his bottom lip while his fists were clenched in his lap. I could practically see the lust and need pouring from him, seeping out of every inch of his tightly coiled body. His hair was mussed from his hand constantly tugging at the ends and at some point he had removed his shirt. His arousal so strong, his nipples were hard and he was already slightly damp with sweat.

I wanted to lick every inch of him.

"Holy shit," Riley chuckled lowly. "Ummm, Jas? You okay?"

Jasper finally turned his head toward us, giving Riley and I a hard glare for a brief moment before his eyes raked over us, drinking in our bare, sweaty state and a thick, husky groan left his lips. Slamming his eyes shut, I watched as his hips rose from the couch repeatedly, chasing a release that he seemed to be on the edge of but couldn't quite grasp. Walking toward him, I could hear a string of profanities spilling from his lips, jumbled with other words I couldn't quite make out. I didn't want him in control though; I wanted to see him come. To give him what he had just allowed Riley to give me.

Straddling his lap, I carded my fingers through his hair and scratched lightly at his scalp, cupping his cheek in my other hand. Opening his eyes slowly, he looked into mine and forced a smile on his face even his hips rose to meet mine.

"Hi, love," I whispered.

"Hey, baby. Have fun?" he asked in a deep voice, rolling his jean covered cock into my bare one, quickly renewing my arousal.

I nodded and kissed him lightly, letting my lips skim over his. "I did. Thank you so much."

"God, you sounded so good. I could hear you moaning...pictured you writhing on the bed and begging. Oh God, so hard," he whimpered, thrusting up erratically.

"He was definitely begging and writhing, Jas. You could've joined us, you know," Riley said, taking a seat next to us on the couch.

"Please," Jasper rasped, ignoring Riley's comment. "Need you so bad, baby."

"What do you want, love?" I asked and then glanced at Riley when he snickered.

"I can give you hint," Riley teased.

Looking back at Jasper, I watched as he glanced at me, then back at Riley, then back to me again, a pained expression on his face. I barely bit back my smile when I realized that he was trying to figure out who he wanted first. While I was thoroughly enjoying his indecisiveness, I decided to put him out of his misery. Leaning into his ear, I teased his earlobe with my tongue for a moment before whispering just loud enough for Riley to hear.

"I want to watch you fuck him."

"Fucking great! You just had to say that shit, didn't you?" Riley groaned, looking deflated and extremely horny all at once.

Confused, I furrowed my brow. "What do you mean?"

Riley sighed. "Beautiful, I only got permission for you. Him," he pointed at Jasper with a jerk of his thumb, "I would never get permission for. I wouldn't even ask, tempting as it is."

So apparently there was a limit to Riley's power.

That's when it dawned on me. He was literally _my _present, not Jasper's. I should've known immediately that given Peter and Jasper's history, he would've never allowed Riley to do that. I wasn't exactly sure of the reason, but I understood it.

"Why do you two suddenly look depressed? I don't actually mind fucking my boyfriend, you know?" Jasper piped in, looking incredulous.

Riley snickered, "Please. I just pounded your boyfriend into the mattress for the past two hours. He's fucking lucky he can walk." He finished with a wink in my direction and I rolled my eyes in response, even though I knew it was true.

Without being prompted, I slid to the floor and positioned myself between Jaspers legs, skimming my fingertips up his thighs until my hands rested at the waistband of his pants. When I freed his cock, I heard dual moans come from him and Riley. Thick and pulsing, his erection slapped against his bare stomach as he lifted his hips so I could slide his pants down his legs and off, throwing them across the room to join his shirt.

"I'm not going to last," he whispered, looking down at me with hazy blue eyes.

"I love you," I told him simply.

Vaguely, I noticed Riley's hand wrapping around his own semi-hard cock. His stamina would never cease to amaze me.

With my hands braced on Jaspers knees, I leaned forward and took his balls into my mouth, nipping at the wrinkled skin before smoothing my tongue over them, smiling when Jasper's hands immediately flew to my hair and a greedy moan left his lips. Lapping at his heavy sac, I let my tongue trail up the underside of his cock, flicking repeatedly at the sensitive spot just under the bulging ridge. When he tugged impatiently at my hair, I gave in and let him stick his cock between my lips, creating a slick tunnel with my mouth for him to fuck. I fought back the strong urge to gag when he thrust a little too eagerly into the back of my throat.

"Fuck."

He and Riley swore in unison, one a breathy approval and the other a throaty praise. Wasting no time, Jasper fucked my face quickly, groaning and growling as his hand slid down to the back of my neck to get a better grip.

"Almost came. Just from...just from listening to the moans coming from...the bedroom. Almost came hands free in my pants. So fucking hot. Wanted…so bad…watch," he babbled and gasped, tightening his hand on the back of my neck every time I deep throated him. "Oh God, baby, gonna come just thinking about it. Stop. Stop, stop..."

I slid off Jasper's cock with a slick popping noise and looked up at him with a smirk on my face as my fingers steadily fondling his balls. Glancing at Riley, I moaned lowly when I saw his dark eyes so filled with lust that the dark brown looked black. Jasper laid his head back against the back of the couch, his eyes clenched, his chest heaving as he tried to regain what little control he had over himself. One of his hands still on my neck and the other rested on Riley's thigh. Flushed from his cheeks down his chest, Jasper looked absolutely stunning as a bead a sweat dripped down from neck to slide in between his pecs. I couldn't resist the urge to lean forward and lick it off, letting my tongue travel over to tease his hard nipple, making him gasp and shudder.

"God, fuck, you are going to kill me," he groaned, pulling me up to smash his mouth to mine.

I felt Riley's hand slide up my back to my neck, gentle fingertips grazing along my damp skin as Jasper and I kissed. When we were both breathless, I pulled back, resting my forehead against his while I cupped his cheek in my palm.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too. So much."

Suddenly, Riley cleared his throat loudly and his hand fell away from me, making Jasper and I both look toward him. "This is sweet and all that shit, but I'd really like to see you swallow his cum now."

With a soft chuckle, I slid back down Jaspers body, letting my tongue trace a path along his sweaty skin, enjoying his heady flavor. I licked away the precome that was dribbling along the thick vein on the underside of Jaspers cock before sucking the head back into my mouth, moaning when he thrusts his hips toward my face impatiently.

Feeling Jaspers passion, hearing his want for me spill from his mouth and pour from his body always brought me the most pleasure. Knowing that I could make him insane with lust and dizzy with need even after all the men he had been with made me feel powerful, and no matter how many times we were together, I would never tire of it. It would always have the same affect on me. That feeling was heightened by Riley's grunts and growls mixing with my lover's whimpers and moans, leaving me with an aching cock and a full heart. Along with my suckling noises, I could hear Riley's hand sliding along his cock, his hand pumping quickly as his heavy gaze made goose bumps pebble my skin.

Closing my eyes and breathing deeply through my nose, I swallowed Jasper to the base, sealing my lips tightly around him the way he liked. I held him there for as long as I could before I had to pull back to take a breath, only to plunge down on him once again.

"Fuck, fuck. So God damn good," Jasper panted, his hips arching up minutely.

"Fucking looks good, too. Such a good cocksucker, isn't he. Shit, I'm gonna come," Riley growled.

Shivering under their praise, I gripped my cock in my fist and started pumping wildly, suddenly desperate to release the tension that had been building in my belly. Bobbing my head, I sucked Jasper's cock hard and fast, wanting to bring him pleasure before I reached the brink of my own. However, Riley and Jasper's constant encouragement made it difficult for me to hold off. It didn't matter that Riley had fucked me so hard I forgot my name and had come not even thirty minutes earlier, sucking on Jasper, bringing him the pleasure only I could, was enough to have me on the edge of another climax no matter how had I'd been fucked.

"Yeah, beautiful, suck his cock."

"Love you. Mouth is so perfect. Never get enough."

"Wish I could take his place right now. Feeling that hot mouth swallowing me whole. So fucking sexy, beautiful."

"I'm getting close, baby. You're so good."

Feeling their eyes on me, hearing their whispered, dirty words combined with Jasper fucking my face and tugging my hair, I couldn't hold off any longer. My scream of completion was muffled by Jasper's cock. Cum shot from my cock and onto the plush carpet beneath me as the strong waves of pleasure rolled through my veins. Jerking, my muscles twitched repeatedly as my orgasm rushed through me until, finally, I felt the last few dribbles of cum slide over my fingers. During my orgasm, I had sucked hard on Jasper's cock and he lifted his hips from the couch erratically.

"Fucking coming, baby. Oh shit," he groaned.

The words had barely left his lips before I felt his warm release flooding my mouth, hard bursts hitting the back of my throat so forcefully that I struggled to swallow it all. Growling, he continued to fuck my face through his orgasm, pulling my hair hard.

"Yeah, fuck," Riley grunted, signaling his own climax. With Jasper's cock still in my mouth, I watched Riley's body give way to his orgasm, his cock pulsing hard in his hand right before it shot a load of cum in thin streams onto Riley's chest and stomach and hand.

When I felt Jasper's body fall limply to the couch, I let his softening dick slip from my lips, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Riley was breathing almost as heavily as Jasper, his head thrown back as his hand still slowly stroke his softening cock, whimpering quietly as he prolonged his own pleasure. I crawled into Jaspers lap, curling into his chest and burying my nose in his neck, inhaling deeply.

I loved the way he smelled after sex.

Sated and exhausted, I closed my eyes and sighed happily, smiling when Jasper finally regained enough strength to wrap his arms around me. As I drew lazy circles on his chest, his fingers toyed with the hair that was matted with sweat to the nape of my neck.

I had never felt so happy.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear, kissing the lobe lightly.

"Mmm. You too, baby. You're amazing," he said lazily, still in his haze.

The room was void of words as we all caught our breath, the crackling of the fading fire creating a soothing backdrop as the lust finally dissipated from the small space. I could feel my body sticking to Jasper's with a natural glue of sweat and cum, but I didn't mind, I was too comfortable and relaxed to be bothered with cleaning up. I wasn't sure how long we stayed silent, just enjoying our embrace with our dear friend, now lover, only inches away from us.

Eventually, I heard Riley groan and I lifted my head from Jasper's neck to look at him. "God, that was fucking hot," he exclaimed.

We all laughed.

"Yes, it most definitely was. Shower?" Jasper asked.

"Is it big enough for three?"

Sighing, Jasper rolled his eyes behind his lust-laden lids. "Yes, Rile, it's big enough for three."

Standing, Riley twisted and turned, working out the kinks in his well used muscles. "Cool, but I'm fucking starving, so food first. What do you have here? I don't want any of that fancy tofu and caviar shit, either."

"Left over pizza in the fridge," I told him, leaning my head on Jasper's shoulder and admiring Riley's ass as he walked toward the kitchen.

"Did you enjoy your Christmas present, baby?" Jasper whispered, staring into my eyes with so much love and happiness, it almost took my breath away.

"I definitely did, love. He was amazing. Thank you so much."

I kissed him softly, a gently pressure against his lip while his arms tightened around me. When he pulled away, he gave me a smile.

"But I'm still better, right?"

"Without a doubt," I confirmed before leaning in for another kiss.

"Jesus, don't you two ever stop, like come for fucking air or food or something?" He flopped back onto the couch, his legs parted, his cock hanging used between them. When he opened the pizza box his eyes widened. "Oh, my favorite!"

Jasper lolled his head to the side and watched Riley pick up a slice and took a bite. "Tell me you washed your hands," Jasper said motherly.

"I'm not a fucking Neanderthal," he mumbled with his mouth full. "I have fucking manners."

"I can see that," Jasper chuckled.

"Fuck you," Riley said, taking another bite. "Want some?" He pushed the box toward us. Jasper picked up a slice and held it in front of me. Leaning forward, I bit the end off and then Jasper took a bite.

"Jesus, you share food too?" he teased. "Nice place you got. Not as nice as mine, of course, but still nice."

"Gee, thanks," I laughed.

Riley glanced over his shoulder at the tree. "Nice tree too," he teased.

"Shut the fuck up," Jasper shot back.

"It was his first time," I whispered to Riley, as if that explained the bare, crooked tree.

"Maybe he should stick to fucking," Riley smiled. "I can't believe you have a flying monkey ornament. Things are creepy as hell."

Jasper grinned. "We got that just for you, babe. Don't you like it?"

"Yeah, fuck you. Oh, and your cat scared the shit out of me when I got here, wrapping around my legs and meowing and shit."

"How'd you get inside?" I asked, pulling Jasper's hand to me for another bit of pizza.

"I have my ways." Riley shrugged and I raised an eyebrow. "Jasper gave me a key," he admitted.

"You've seen him?" I looked at Jasper accusingly. "You were missing him last night and you had seen him?"

"Aw, you were missing me?" Riley sniffed with a smirk. "How sweet."

Jasper glared at Riley for a second. "I didn't see him, I've talked to him. I sent him the key. We've been planning this for weeks, baby."

"Weeks?"

They both nodded.

Riley tossed his second piece of crust into the box and sat back. "I think I'm ready for that shower now."

"You're staying, right?" I asked, suddenly nervous that he would be leaving too soon.

"I'm your present for the night, beautiful, the _entire_ night. My driver won't be here until late tomorrow afternoon. I need to catch a flight to JFK, then we're off to Paris for the week."

Slowly, we all stood and Jasper led us to the bathroom, where we washed and lathered and kissed under the dual shower heads. It was quiet except for the occasional whimper or moan as we moved around each other effortlessly. When we were done, we all got out and dried off. Riley tossed his towel in the hamper and took my hand.

"Ready for bed, beautiful?"

Taking his hand, I nodded. Riley leaned toward me, his lips at me ear as he spoke again.

"Just so you know, I love middle of the night fucks," he whispered and I shivered at the feel of his breath in my ear and his hint that there would be more fucking to come. We took a few steps before I stopped him. Turning, I held my hand out to Jasper, who was standing there watching us leave.

"Coming, love?"

I was surprised when he shook his head slightly. "No. Your present was Riley for the night. Alone."

Glancing at Riley, I found the answer to my unasked question. I knew he wouldn't mind, not after what he and Jasper had been through together. But I also knew that having Jasper naked in bed next to him would test his loyalty to his boyfriend. There was an undeniable chemistry between Jasper and Riley, one that went beyond their bodies, to their mutual suffering and survival. Asking either of them to resist the other was like telling them to not breath. When they were together, they fell easily in stride with each other, their bodies so familiar and needing of the other's. It was something I'm not sure either Peter or I would ever understand.

Riley gave me the slight nod I needed and I turned back to Jasper.

"We want you with us."

"Are you sure? I don't want to get in the way, or make you uncomfortable."

He was so sweet, wanting to make it so that I didn't feel awkward getting fucked in front of him. Although, I'm sure part of his answer was for his own peace of mind. Hearing your boyfriend getting screwed was one thing, actually witnessing it was something else.

"I promise, you won't. As long as you're okay with it, then I am too," I told him honestly. I really did feel that I could be myself with Riley, as needing as I wanted to be even with Jasper lying next to me.

Riley sighed. "Stop your fucking whining and get your fucking ass over here right now."

Jasper moved faster than I ever thought possible, and his hand was suddenly clasping mine.

Hand in hand in hand, we walked to the bedroom. Riley turned on the light and looked at the large bed against the far wall, then looked up and down my body with a hungry as hell stare.

"This is going to be so much fucking fun," Riley smiled as he tugged us both toward the bed.

"**~~**"

Merry Christmas and thank you for reading~

Again, this is **NOT **a future take chapter, it is just some fun.

Wizard of Oz ornaments: http:/www DOT ornament-shop DOT

Turtle Island (can't you just see the boys relaxing on those hammocks?) http:/www DOT turtlefiji DOT com


	26. Return to Me

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Today is the one year anniversary of Dannie and I posting chapter 1 of M&A. It's been quite a year for the boys, and it's not over yet. This chapter was difficult to write for a few reasons, Mergerward is not the pov I typically write and getting his voice wasn't easy. It is also dialogue heavy.

Unfortunately, this New Year didn't start off very well. As some of you may know, Dannie has left the fandom and will no longer be writing. However, she will be still be writing for those that contributed to her computer fund and for the Big Gay Story, but other than those two things, she has decided to not continue writing. I can't begin to express how much this saddens me, more angst than even I can write. She is incredibly talented and the fandom lost a beautiful, fun, creative soul. The M&A one shot was her idea and her creativity is in every chapter here, written by her or not.

M&A will continue, and it will continue exactly how she and I have always intended, I will _not_ veer from that. This chapter would have been hers to write, and I hope I did her beautiful, heartfelt Edward some justice. Dannie, I hope this chapter is in some small way a fraction of what you envisioned for the boys' reunion. I love you.

More A/N at the end!

As always huge thanks to OfTheDamned for her beta and pfchristine for holding my hand when I needed it.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

"Edward, please, don't do this. Please," he begged. "We can make this work, I know we can."

Frozen in a fog of resolve, my eyes gazed at the floor. I was determined to not fall hard again, and I knew looking into those dejected blue eyes would be my downfall. There was no doubt I would have caved if I let myself be engulfed by the pain I knew he was in. Honestly, I wanted him in pain. I wanted him to ache, hurt and be tortured like I had for the past two weeks. I wanted him to feel everything I had felt, and worse.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw him daringly move closer. He wasn't giving up quite yet; there was still some fight in him. He stood dangerously close to me, I could feel the heat of his body, the breaths from his mouth as he willed me to look at him. Every second he was near me, I fought the urge to reach for him, hold him and forgive him. It was strong and ran like a wildfire through me, warming my long cold blood, breathing life back into my weary body.

"So this is it then," he murmured. I clenched my jaw, forcing myself to ignore the desperation in his voice, I needed to focus. "Edward, I…"

He reached up slowly and cupped my face, dragging his thumb along my cheek to wipe the tears I hadn't realized had fallen. My mind screamed at me to move out of his reach, but my heart…my heart yearned for the comfort he was giving me, even as brief as it was. Others could hold me, hug me, kiss me, even let me fuck them, but only Jasper could lift my soul from hell with a slight touch and soft word. My eyes drifted closed under his control, my body relaxing completely for the first time in weeks. It had only lasted a few seconds at most before the walls were reconstructing the barrier around my heart and I opened my eyes to face him.

Right before the last of the mortar and brick was built, I felt a powerful surge of love come from him. It was staggering, breathtaking in its force as it enveloped me in every way, seeping into my pores and cracking the unstable fortress around my heart. I took his unspoken words, the ebb of emotion and buried it behind that wall, keeping it safe and with me for all time. It was something I knew I would never feel again, nor would I share it with anyone else.

I was crushed when he dropped his hand and went to move past me. Dragging my eyes to his one last time, I showed him my heart before it was firmly tucked away. I exposed the pain and love I felt for him, the memories that would haunt me every fucking minute of life, the ache that would grow to be another part of me, like a tumor. The light that I felt for him was fading, an eclipse gradually passing over it until nothing remained but darkness. He hesitated, as if he wanted to speak to me, say something, but he stopped himself before he could. I think my lips moved, wanting to say all those things and more right back to him, but while my mind rushed with every thought, nothing came out. Looking away, he walked past me.

With the soft click of the door, he walked out of my life.

I thought I could shake it off, walk to the couch and continue with my work.

I was wrong.

Dropping to my knees, I released a feral cry of agony. The gaping hole in my chest was back, raw and bleeding my soul as I clutched uselessly at it. Falling forward onto my hands, I let the sobs wrack my body, shaking and shuddering as if I was convulsing. I allowed the pain to revisit my torn and broken heart. I couldn't stop it, it was too powerful, too recent, and I was too weak to fight, my tired body had been hanging onto reality by nothing more than a thread of normalcy. That thread had been severed the second he entered my room again. The tears fell freely and without remorse onto the hardwood beneath me. I saw them drop and puddle with each other and there was nothing I could do to stop them. When I felt my stomach begin to churn, I attempted to stand but only fell again. Crawling down the hallway, I stifled the urge to vomit until I reached the toilet. Dry heaves attacked my body randomly and without much notice as I draped my arms over the cool porcelain and prayed for relief of any kind. Seeing him, hearing his velvet voice hadn't healed me, it had broken me all over again, shattering the fragile life I had only just started to rebuild.

It had only been less than two weeks before that I had returned to Chicago a broken man. Spencer had returned with me, sitting quietly next to me on the plane and the car ride, only speaking when necessary. It was with a silent resilience that he supported me. I don't think he quite knew what to do with the man that often broke down crying for seemingly no reason. Never once did he try to offer more than the comfort of his hand covering mine or a word of encouragement. He took control for me, doing all the talking at the airport and hotel. I honestly I don't know if I would have made it safely back to Chicago without him.

He rode with me to my apartment and offered to escort me upstairs, but I refused, telling him I needed to be alone. When I entered my place, dropping my suitcases by the door and realizing just how alone I actually was, I wished I had accepted his offer. Numbly, I walked to my bed and lay down on it, not even bothering to strip my clothes off before taking some sleeping pills Spencer had given me. I didn't fight the heavy feeling that overwhelmed me, in fact, I wished it would last forever, and my eyes closed. The pills coaxed my body into a sleep, but they didn't prevent the dimpled smile that danced in front of my shut lids.

The following days were strictly habit. I got up, showered, dressed and went to work. Every motion practiced and rehearsed as I went through the day. At work, I felt Bella's stare, her eyes concerned for me as she handed me a new Blackberry.

"I had the other one remotely wiped so if someone found it, your ass is covered," she explained. I hadn't had the heart to tell her I had destroyed the phone and no one would be able to retrieve company, or my, secrets from it.

"The number?"

"It's the same as before."

"Shit," I mumbled, closing my eyes.

"I already put on your last back up, so all your contacts are current. All the software is also installed."

"Thanks," I sighed, picking up the shiny new phone. It was a newer model than my old one and I was almost thankful for the slight difference.

"Edward…"

I couldn't bring myself to look at her, but instead just waited.

"Is…is everything all right?"

No. Nothing would ever be all right again.

I wanted to scream, shout and throw things against the wall.

"Yeah, Bella, I'm fine. Just tired. Long week out there," I lied. Tilting her head, I knew she was watching me, judging my response before accepting it and nodding.

"I know you're my boss, but you know…well, you know you can talk to me, right?" When I didn't reply, she continued. "It's just that for the past few months, you've seem, I don't know, happier, satisfied and it's been great to see you like that. I could be wrong but I think there might be someone special that has been responsible for your happiness but now you look so…lost." She took a big breath, feeling a bit uncomfortable talking to her boss about his romantic problems.

Little did she know.

"I hope it works out between you and whoever brought that happiness. Whether you saw it or not, it was there. You need to fix it with her or…him. Make it right."

I prided myself on my quick thinking, my ability to answer any and all questions from the press or board members with just what the person wanted to hear, but sitting there, I was speechless.

Before I realized what I was doing, my mouth moved. "It would never work…"

Nodding, she turned to leave, accepting my answer, but as she put her hand on the doorknob, she paused. "Often it's things that take the most effort that are worth it in the end."

Closing the door behind her, she left my office.

Picking up the new phone, I entered my password for protected files and then scrolled through the contacts until I saw his name.

_Whit Lock._

I had entered it as such to keep his name hidden. With tears welling up in my eyes, I copied his number and then entered it into my call blocking program. _If_ he called, I would never know it. My phone would automatically hang up on any calls from his number, and his text messages would also be blocked.

I answered a few emails, doing my best to concentrate on work, on getting my life back. It wasn't going to be an easy road, one I knew I would get lost on several times, but I had to try. Work was going to be the only thing that I might be able to salvage of my life.

Day turned to night, night morphed into day and I repeated the process all over again. On the outside, perhaps I had remained the same. No one except Bella and Spencer seemed to know something was wrong. My father had asked me how everything was going and when I lied to his face, he reminded me of my recent irresponsibility, scolding me like a petulant child and sending me on my way. Every night I crawled into bed with a heavy heart and popped two of the pills on my bedside table. Soon the darkness would cover me in its blanket, and I welcomed it.

I'd been home for almost a week before Emmett called and insisted we meet for lunch. I knew he'd talked to Bella, and almost scolded her for it. She had practically run from my office when I had answered his call and his booming voice could be heard through the receiver. It was useless to refuse him, he would just come to my office instead. My driver dropped me off at the sushi bar we liked and I walked inside and found Emmett at our usual table. I sat across from him, pushing my plate aside and nodding when the server asked if I wanted tea.

"Tell me what the hell is going on?" Emmett asked, skipping the hellos.

As always, he was dressed impeccably, his suit custom fitted with a perfectly pressed shirt that matched the slight hue in his silk tie. His brown curls were close to his scalp, he kept them short in order to keep them from getting unruly. Emmett maintained his body, working out almost daily, getting manicures and facials and massages. He was at the spa more than anyone I knew. However, I couldn't help but see the teenager I'd always known hidden beneath the professional demeanor. To me he would always be the kid that hid under the bleachers to look up the girls shirts or that ate five helpings of dinner at my parent's house.

"Nice to see you too," I snarled, not in the mood for the heartfelt confessions he was looking for. He rolled his eyes and sipped his tea. The server returned and Emmett reeled off his order before she turned to me and I waved her off. She left and I looked at Emmett.

"Do you want me to repeat my question?" he asked with a raised brow.

I loved the guy, but sometimes I really fucking hated him. He was my best friend, and knew almost everything about me. He was going to push until I gave in. Rather than end up in tears at the sushi bar, I fingered my napkin on the table and began.

"It's Jasper."

"The escort?"

Nodding, I took a deep breath. "I fell in love with him."

I let the sudden confession hang in the air between us, weighting it down their enormity. In all the years I'd known Emmett, I had never told him I loved anyone.

"Whoa," he sighed, leaning forward and placing his elbows on the table. There was no hiding his surprise as he pawned over the words. After a long moment of processing, he waved his hand. "Continue."

"We've been seeing each other, off the clock, at his apartment for the past few times. It was…amazing," I whispered, my lips almost curling into a smile as I warmed at the happy memories. "He was wonderful, Emmett. Nothing like me, and yet everything I needed. I don't know how to explain it, somehow we just…fit."

"So what's the problem?"

"You mean other than he fucks other men?" I snorted.

"You knew that going into it, hell, it's how you met," he countered righteously.

"Yeah, I knew it but I had planned on some great sex, not falling in love."

"So he's fucking other men and you're jealous?"

"It's more than that."

"Explain," he demanded in the only way Emmett could.

"I was in Seattle last weekend and he had gone to Texas with a client. I'd had a really shitty day and called him, even if just hear his voicemail." I hesitated continuing, hoping that Emmett could use his mind reading abilities and fill in the rest of the story.

"And?"

"The phone call got answered and I heard him."

"Heard him…" He motioned his hands for me to continue.

My heart pounded and I glanced around us quickly before lowering my voice to a growl. "I heard him fucking another guy."

"Ouch," Emmett returned, shaking his head. "Have you talked to him about it?"

"No," I scoffed. "I actually destroyed my phone and didn't leave my hotel room until it was time to fly home."

"Don't you think you should talk to him?"

"Why?"

"I don't fucking know, Edward. Maybe get his side of the story. Maybe what you heard wasn't what you thought."

"Oh, it was definitely what I fucking thought. I_ heard_ them, Emmett," I snapped.

"Okay, fine. He was getting fucked. Big deal. It's his job, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but…I heard him calling the other guy 'baby', the same thing he calls me."

"Maybe it slipped out. Maybe he was imagining the other guy was you, and in the heat of the moment, he said the wrong thing."

I didn't believe a word Emmett said. If I was going to survive, I couldn't believe him.

"Has he called?"

I shrugged. "I've blocked his calls."

"Edward, listen, I don't know shit about being in love. I think with my dick, not my heart, so I am probably the last person to be giving advice but even I can see you need to talk to him. You can't ignore him, if nothing else, you need closure. If this is the end of the two of you, you need to walk away strong and let him know it's over or else it will hang over you for the rest of your life."

His food arrived and after one glace at the raw fish wrapped in seaweed and rice I felt my stomach clench.

"I got to go," I said, wrapping an arm around my middle.

"Will you at least call him?" he asked, stuffing some tuna into his mouth. "Trust me, you need get his side of things and if it ends, do it cleanly. You can't afford to be dragged through the mud right now with a scandal about dating an escort."

I nodded, although I knew as much as I hurt, Jasper would never betray me by exposing our relationship. Without another word, I stood and left the restaurant, stumbling to the car and climbing inside before I felt I could breathe again.

At work, I settled into a routine that my body adjusted to and walked me through every day. Spencer and I were cordial with each other, even having dinner one night when we were stuck late at the office. He was still quiet around me, our conversations mostly around work, but he had strayed a few times, asking how I was and if I needed anything.

Never once did he mention our fucking. I knew he thought about it, hell, I thought about. It was the only time I'd ever topped and I had just…taken him raw and bare. He'd give himself to me willingly, but what I'd done was wrong and we both knew it. Legally, he could have brought sexual harassment charges against me, but I knew he wouldn't. Instead, he offered what little support he could, in what small way he could and surprisingly, I accepted it. In the afterhours darkness of my office, when he sat across from me at my desk with papers scattered between us, and he reached over and took my hand, I let him. I didn't even flinch when his thumb began to stroke my skin. It only lasted a few seconds before he would get scared and pull away.

And I realized I missed the brief warmth.

As the days blurred into each other and it neared the time to return to Seattle, Spencer came into my office and offered to go alone.

"You know I can do it, we're so close to the end anyway, it's mostly just tidying up those loose ends."

It was tempting. He was right, he could handle it, but with a shake of my head I refused. No matter how much it was going to hurt, I needed to face Seattle again. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't as broken as I thought I was.

Although that was a lie.

Friday morning, I packed up my suitcase and shuffled down to my driver, staring out the window on the way to the airport. Spencer met me at the gate, giving me a smile of encouragement as we boarded the plane and took our first class seats. We weren't even taxiing down the runway before I was downing my first shot of bourbon. Spencer sat quietly next to me, his hand only inches away, palm up, just waiting for me to grasp it.

I never did.

We arrived at the hotel and I dragged my bag up to my suite and closed the door behind me, shutting off Spencer in mid sentence. Walking into the room, I felt the air being vacuumed from my lungs. Jasper was everywhere around me, I could practically hear his voice in the air and smell his scent as I walked to the piano and sat down. It was nicer than the one he had rented for me, but it meant nothing to me when my fingers pressed random keys. The music dull and flat, mirroring my life without him in it.

By some miracle, and two blue pills, I made it through the first night and woke the next morning to Spencer knocking on my door with breakfast. I took the steaming coffee from his hands and let him inside. We went over a plan for the day and then he left while I went to shower and dress. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop open on the table in front of me when I'd heard the knock on the door. Assuming Spencer was back already, I answered it absently, shocked to find my ex-lover standing there.

I wanted him gone, I wanted to close the door and shut him out of my life, but Emmett's words sauntered into my thoughts and I decided to listen and hear Jasper out, even if I knew it wouldn't change a thing. After all that had happened, we both deserved it.

I just hadn't realized how much it would hurt. To see him, hear him, fucking _feel_ him so close and force my body to not react naturally to his as it desired. The pieces of my shattered heart weren't even close to mending after only a few weeks apart, and when he stood before me, they shattered all over again.

Agony washed over me in his presence, and I almost collapsed as I fought to keep myself upright and not fall into his willing arms.

It was the only place I wanted to be.

But I had let him leave, let him walk out of my life.

I was only semi aware of the cold tile beneath my cheek and the stench of whatever cleaner they used on the floor in the hotel bathroom. Clenching my eyes shut, all I could see was Jasper, his easy going smile with deep dimples and bright eyes as he shook the hair off his face. I never heard the hotel room door open or the footsteps in the hallway, but there was someone there with me.

I felt him.

"Jesus," he muttered and I felt hands on me, on my wrist checking my pulse, on my forehead checking for a fever, on my chest to make sure my heart was still beating.

"Jasper," I whispered, blindly reaching for the hands that were caring for me.

"Did he fucking do this to you?" the voice growled and I opened my swollen eyes. Spencer frowned at me, his eyes full of concern as he tugged on my body until I was sitting up.

"Spencer," I sighed, the dream of Jasper saving me fading away as Spencer's brown hair took the place of Jasper's blond.

"Come on," he said, slipping his hands under my armpits and lifting me off the floor. Stumbling to my feet, I leaned on him for support and let him guide me out to the couch. He set me down and my head fell against the back, my eyes drifting closed. He left me sitting there while he ran to the kitchen and returned with a bottle of water. "Drink this."

I pushed it away but he put it back at my mouth. Glaring at him, I took the bottle and drank a few sips before putting it on the table. He sat next to me, one hand resting on the couch next to my head, the other on my thigh.

"Edward…" he began but shook his head and stopped. "What did he say?"

"How'd you-"

"I saw him in the hallway. He was getting off the elevator as I was getting on. I got to the lobby and turned around and came back up. I thought you might need some support. I knocked on your door and it opened a bit, so I came in to check on you and…well…"

I closed my eyes again.

Why did the comfort have to come from him? Why couldn't it be Jasper next to me, soothing me with his voice and healing touch?

"He came, we talked. It's over."

The words sounded so…final.

_It's over._

Jasper and I were over.

"Are you sure?"

I almost snorted. "Yeah, pretty fucking sure," I replied harshly. "He left, I didn't stop him. It's done."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offered. He'd offered many times to listen if I wanted to talk and I had always denied him. It wouldn't do any good to tell him and reopen the wound that hadn't even begun to heal. But there on my couch, with Jasper's scent still fresh in the air, I rubbed my face with my hands and decided it was time.

"It used to be so…perfect. Everything was perfect, and then…well, shit happened."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"You could say that," I sighed. Spencer raised a brow and I dived into the deep end, hoping the support he'd for me was legitimate. "He's an escort. I met him because I paid for him."

"Oh," he almost smiled. "Edward, you didn't have to pay for sex, I would have scratched that itch for free."

"It wasn't the sex. Well, yeah it was, but it was more I wanted the freedom to live the life I denied myself every day. Jasper allowed me to do that. I never planned on anything more than sex. It just kind of happened."

"Do you love him?"

Glancing at him quickly before looking away, I nodded. He sighed and squeezed my thigh.

"I'm sorry, Edward," he said quietly and honestly. He slung his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Everyone thinks because we have money, our lives are easy, but you and I know better. We know the stigma that goes along with being gay in our field. Then there are our fathers."

I nodded against him and let myself sink into his side.

"Relationships aren't always perfect, Edward."

"No, but it should be the same for both parties. They both should have the same amount of devotion and loyalty toward each other. Equal," I countered softly.

"Equal like…you're one of the richest men in the U.S. and he's a high class hooker?" He gave me a pointed look with his knowing eyes and I sighed. "How is he supposed be devoted when his job is to please others? We all deserve love, Edward. We can't help who we love, it just kinda happens. If we could help it then, well, maybe I wouldn't..." He pulled me tighter and kissed the top of my head. "Love doesn't come around often. It's worth fighting for."

"It hurts."

"If it didn't hurt, then it wouldn't be true love."

_You need to fix it with her…or him. Make it right._

_Often it's things that take the most effort that are worth it in the end._

_If this is the end of the two of you, you need to walk away strong and let him know it's over or else it will hang over you for the rest of your life._

It was sitting there with Spencer and the advice of Emmett and Bella in my head that I realized they were all right. In their own fucked up ways, they were right.

_Edward, please, don't do this. Please. _

_We can make this work, I know we can._

Jasper had wanted to fight for us. He hadn't given up like I had.

There was hope.

Lifting my head off Spencer's shoulder, I placed my hand over my heart and smiled when I felt it thump solidly in my chest. The muscle that had been hollowed out only beat for one person, the one person who had done the damage was the same one who could restore my soul, mend the fractured shards of my heart and complete me once again.

"Jasper…" I murmured, staring at the floor. I jerked upright and took a deep breath, my lungs filling for the first time in weeks.

I needed to go to him. I needed to see him, even if it was for one last time.

Jumping off the couch, I ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. After weeks of trying to avoid looking in the mirror, I glanced at my reflection and cringed at the image of dark circles, pale complexion, and dry lips. I ran a hand through my hair but nothing was going to help my disheveled appearance. Not even wanting to take the time to clean up, and perhaps convince myself I was doing the wrong thing, I grabbed my jacket off the chair and checked to make sure my wallet and keycard were inside it. My hand was on the door before I remembered Spencer sitting on my couch. Turning, I looked at him guiltily.

He was where I'd left him, his arm still slung over the back of the couch, where only moments before I'd been nestled in. All he had done was want me and all I had wanted was another.

"Spencer," I began but trailed off. I saw it, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, I saw the pain flash in his eyes before he covered it up with a half smile and a wave of his hand.

"Go to him. I'll be fine. Just going to go meet my friend for lunch. I'll lock up."

"I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Edward. Now go, before I change my mind and become the selfish bastard we both know I can be."

Nodding, I left and was barely a foot outside the door before I broke into a run. The nervous energy had me pacing in the elevator and sprinting through the lobby, bursting through the doors until I was outside in the cold air. The doorman hailed me a cab and I didn't even have the door closed before I was giving him the address. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I stared out the window, not even seeing anything we passed.

What if Jasper had changed his mind? Maybe he'd realized we were no good after he left, and didn't want me anymore. There was a sinking feeling that I was fucking it up even more by going to him, but nothing was going to stop me. Jasper's voice echoed inside my head, repeating the words I was grasping to. I had realized, maybe even many months before, that I couldn't be without him. That feeling had been crushed and torn and denied for too long. It was time to –

"We're here," the driver announced and I tossed a twenty at him before jumping out of the cab and running into the lobby. Pressing the elevator buttons, I bit my lip and waited. They opened and I practically knocked a woman over.

"Sorry," I mumbled, turning and pressing Jasper's floor. "Please, please, please…" I chanted to no one in the elevator.

_Please let him forgive me. _

_Please let him love me._

When the doors opened and I realized that was it, I hesitantly stepped off and then stopped. The racing in my chest slowed, almost immediately returning to a normal pace and I felt my entire body relax. Looking down the hall at his door, I wondered how he did it, what kind of power he wielded that enabled him to calm me through walls dozens of feet away. With a new found strength he'd unknowingly given me, I turned for his door and walked down the hallway. Lifting my hand, I took one last breath and then knocked. It wasn't long before I heard the shuffling of bare feet and then the lock sliding open.

He looked like he'd been trying to sleep. His shirt was wrinkled, his hair tumbling around his face in tangled, messed curls. The grief he had felt stained his cheeks and reddened his eyes and I knew then he'd been as equally devastated as I was.

_Equal. _

I made more money.

He had more street sense.

I was possessive.

He was protective.

We were so very different and yet so very much alike, each one of us seeking out the other without every realizing it. What we had was beyond our control, we were magnets drawn together and unable to survive when pulled apart.

He was my compass and I was his North.

Just one look at him told me I had done the right thing. The grief in his eyes gave way to relief and forgiveness.

"Edward?"

His voice was still the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.

"Jasper," I murmured. Reaching up toward his face, I cupped his cheek, just like he'd done in my hotel room not too long before. He began to shake his head and started to pull away.

"You're not real…dreaming…" he mumbled. Moving forward, I closed the distance between us and pressed my body to his, wrapping my arms around his neck. Burrowing my face into the bend of his neck, I inhaled his scent. "Don't want it to fucking end," he said as he pulled me closer, his arms around my waist, his nose nuzzling my hair. "So real…Fuck, I can even smell you."

I smiled against his heated skin as my fingers buried themselves into the hair I had missed so much. "I'm real."

We clung to each other, grasping, clutching, desperate to find ourselves within the other. There were sighs and a few tears, but we didn't speak. I used my hands and body to convince him I was there, that I wasn't an illusion of a misplaced dream. Just when I thought we couldn't get closer, his grip on me tightened further and I felt a rush of air escape my lungs from the pressure of his embrace. I ached, but I remained there, not allowing any space between us. My head rested on his shoulder, my fingers twisting the ends of his waves, my eyes open and gazing at the pulse in his neck as it beat.

For me.

Our bodies were weary, exhausted from the hell we'd both been through. With each sigh and breath he released, the wall I had carefully constructed came crashing down and he barged in, saving me with one simple word.

"Sorry," he breathed into my ear in soft whisper.

Clinging, I nodded against him. I felt alive, I felt tired, I felt everything at once, and yet I felt nothing but Jasper. Long minutes passed and we didn't move, still pressed together from head to feet, the heat of our bodies soaking through the clothing we wore. It was time to tell him.

"No matter who you fuck, I can't…"

Lifting his head, he took my face in his hands, his eyes looking so deep into mine that I was hypnotized.

"What?"

"I can't _be_ without you," I blurted out quickly before I lost my nerve. There was more I wanted to say, more I should have said, but we had time. We needed to heal a little before we could talk. He dropped his hands from my face and once again wrapped them around my waist, pulling me to him in an embrace so tight, a slight breath was painful. Burying his face into my neck, I felt him begin to tremble under my hands as they pressed against him.

"I can't _be_ without you," he echoed my words and held me tighter. Pulling back, I made him lift his head and look at me. I dashed the hope in his eyes with one word.

"But…"

He shook his head to stop me, fearing I was going to put a quick end to us before we'd even begun again.

"No, no, no," he kept saying, snapping his eyes closed. He thought his dream had just become a nightmare.

"I'm afraid," I admitted softly. Slowly, his eyes opened. On my waist, I felt his fingers fisting my shirt, tethering me to him by the threads of some cotton and his own brute strength. He wasn't going to let me go again, not without a fight.

"Me too," he said just as softly, his bottom lip quivering before he was shaking his head again. "I'm afraid of losing you after I just found you."

"I'm afraid I won't be enough for you," I whispered, lowering my head to his shoulder again. My arms ached from their position around his neck.

I tightened my hold even more.

"Edward, you're more than enough, more than I deserve."

We were quiet, holding each other, adhering ourselves to the other by the words we spoke. Bound together by our limbs, the fragile emotions between us began to strengthen. Finally, feeling confident enough to move from him, I took deep breath and said the words we had been both been dreading.

"We need to talk."

He dropped his forehead to my shoulder and I felt his long exhale wash over my chest as he resigned himself to the words. He knew them true. No matter what we did or how much we needed the other, unless we talked, nothing would be resolved. After weeks apart, my body craved his, but making love wasn't going to fix us.

And talking might not either, but we had to try.

Finally, he lifted his head and released my waist, only to reach up and take my hand from his hair. Wordlessly, he led me to the kitchen where he got us two bottles of water and then I followed him to the couch, my hand in his, my other around his forearm, almost as if to keep him from bolting from me in fear of the talk. We sat next to each other, our thighs touching, our hands entwined on them.

"Before you say anything more, I want to do something," he said. Curving his free hand around the back of my neck, he leaned toward me, his eyes pleading. My gaze dropped from his stare to his lips and I nodded just as he kissed me. It was hesitant, uncertain, almost like a first kiss between new lovers, but when I felt the soft brushes of his chapped lips over mine, my body began to shake. Long fingers sought his hair and the fabric of his shirt, holding him to me for as long as he would stay. Never deepening the kiss, he continued to breathe light sighs against me while our lips met over and over.

Dorothy had had to tap her ruby red slippers three times and repeat 'there's no place like home'.

All I had to do was kiss Jasper.

He truly was my home. Whether next to me on the couch or thousands of miles apart, Jasper was where I belonged. Suddenly, it all became so clear.

The love. The fucking. The other men.

Jasper was all of those, and if wanted him in my life, to be the part of me I knew he could, I had to accept all those things about him. And if things got fucked up, I couldn't run away. I wouldn't survive if we led separate lives anymore. My heart skipped a beat and then fell in time with his; perfecting the rhythm they both knew so well. Breaking the kiss, he put his forehead to mine and tried to smile.

"In case things don't go so good, I wanted one last kiss," he whispered.

He was preparing for the worst. How could he not after I'd already said cruel things to him and gave up on us, driving him from the hotel.

I wanted to tell him it was going to be different, but I honestly didn't know.

Sitting back, he kept my hand in his lap and I finally got a chance to look at him. His hair was mussed, and a bit dirty. There were large dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and they highlighted the bloodshot whites of his eyes and the puffy lids covering them. His normally flushed skin was pale and sallow, his cheekbones were more prominent than usual and I knew if I looked at his collarbone, I would find it protruding against his skin.

Jasper's appearance was evidence of what two weeks of hell will do to you.

"Before we start, I need to ask you something." He nodded and I continued. "What do you want, Jasper?"

Tilting his head, he replied softly but with confidence. "You."

It was all I had needed to hear, because after all he had survived, there was a fight in Jasper, and he was going to fight for me, us.

"Jasper, these past two weeks were hell. I haven't eaten or been able to concentrate. I can only think of you, and how much you hurt me."

"I'm sor-"

I put my hand up and stopped him. "Let me finish. I walked into this relationship knowing what you were. I'm not stupid, I knew when we weren't together that you were with other men. Fuck, I witnessed it at the party, but I thought that I was stronger, that I could handle it, and for the most part I did. That night you left me at your place, I sat there seething with jealousy for awhile, but eventually, I got over it because I knew you were mine, and you were coming home to me." I paused, gathering control over my emotions before looking back into his eyes. "The day you left me to be with him broke me. I stood on the sidewalk and realized something, only it was too late. You were gone to be with another man. The night I called you, I just…fucking missed you. I needed to hear your voice because I knew you could make it better and then… I heard you laugh and _him_," I couldn't help the hard edge in my tone, "saying how you could call them back when he was done fucking you."

"Edward, I'd take that back if could."

"I heard you call him baby, I heard you _come_, Jasper."

Defeated, he closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped forward, much like the position I imagined he'd spent a lot of time lately.

"He made you come. He made you laugh and moan." He couldn't deny my words, I had heard him do all those things. Slowly, he opened his eyes and I saw the tears on the rims of his eyes but he refused to let them fall. "Jasper, I want to be the one that makes you feel all those things. Not anyone else. And I thought I was, until that night. It was a huge wakeup call for me and I didn't like it."

"It's my job, Edward," he sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "I can't help my work, or how others feel about me, or how I feel about you."

"I know it's your job, and I thought I understood that. I mean, I don't want to hear about what you have to do, I can't handle that. Trust me, my imagination does a great job of picturing you with other men. I guess I just want to be the only man in your life."

"You are."

"Yeah, right," I snorted. "You get sleep with a different man every night."

It was out before I could stop it and I cringed as soon as the last word had escaped from me.

"I get _fucked _by a different man every night," he corrected me. "But you're here at my _home_, I see you in my off time…"

"I know," I sighed, dropping my head to the back of the couch. "Sometimes it just doesn't feel like enough."

"Take me to Chicago," he suggested easily and with hope.

"You know I can't risk that."

"Right, because Edward Cullen having a boyfriend would single handedly destroy the entire pharmaceutical universe," he said, making no effort to hide his sarcasm.

"Jasper, you don't know what it's like for me. I have my reasons."

He brushed the back of his fingers down my cheek. "I know you do. I didn't mean it like that." Looking down at our joined hands, he frowned.

"Tell me about him," I requested in a moment of bravery, or sheer fucking stupidity.

Ever since the party, I'd had a sick fascination with knowing more about him. He seemed familiar, but with the amount of people I'd meet over the years, I couldn't place him. My business was all about appearances, who you were with, your last name, your bank account. Those that worked in it knew how to sell themselves, myself included. It was also about knowing your enemy, keeping them close so that you could take them down when the time came. Real friendships were rare, actually liking someone even rarer. Respect, greed, and revenge were what keep those in my field breathing. Being with Jasper made that part of me easier to bear because he brought out a better side of me that I had never known existed.

Jasper immediately shook his head. "No."

I sat back, putting some space between us, but letting my hand remain with his. "Why not? I can't get anymore jealous than I was."

"Because it's not right."

"Oh, but leaving me to fuck him was."

"That was work," he repeated and sighed.

"Jasper, I saw you two at the party. I saw the way he was with you, the way he looked at you. He fucking took you Texas. That wasn't work."

"I was paid to go," he argued.

"Tell me," I demanded. His eyes shot back to mine and they were icy blue with the coldness had grown in them.

"He took me to Texas. I helped him on a ranch, fucked him, got fucked and came home."

The words were said without emotion, they were also brutally honest. The space between us was becoming too much so I leaned toward him, closing the distance only slightly before stopping.

Our hands were still on his lap.

He sighed heavily. "He's my friend, Edward. He respects me, he's been kind and caring. Shit I'd never known before him. He took care of me." The words were still honest, but his tone had softened.

"I could take care of you, too," I challenged. "When I asked you to quit earlier, you said you needed the money and asked if I would pay for your expenses. You assumed I wouldn't." I lifted my chin defiantly. "I would if it was what you really wanted, not matter the cost or what happened because of it."

"You would?"

"In a heartbeat. I don't know how, but I would arrange for you to have everything, but I know…I know that's not what you want. You don't want to rely on someone, you want to make your own way and I respect that. I might not like the way you do it, but I respect it."

He closed his eyes. "I can't accept it."

"I know and I understand. My entire life I've had things handed to me. Everything has come easily for me, but I work hard and I know the pride that goes with that. I won't deny you that feeling even if I wished there was another way for you to have it."

He tried to give me a smile, it was weak and small but it was there.

"Why did he take you to Texas?"

Jasper had started to move toward me but stopped when I asked the question. Instantly, his brows knitted and deep lines appeared on his forehead. He'd thought we were done with that part of the conversation.

"He thought I missed Texas and wanted to return. He thought he was going me a favor. He also showed me where he grew up."

"Wasn't that nice of him," I snarled before I could stop myself. Jasper only tightened his hold on my hand. "Sorry." I immediately apologized.

"It's okay," he accepted.

We both knew that even though we were there, touching and talking, emotions and tempers were still going to flare. What I did next surprised us both. Releasing his hand, I stood up and put some distance between us. I was going to need it for what I was about to tell him. He watched me, leery of my nervous gestures as I paced in front of him. We were being honest, and he needed to know everything. Full disclosure my father often called it. Only this wasn't a risky under the table shady deal, it was my life. Running a hand through my hair, I clenched my eyes and took a deep breath. Right before I spoke, I prayed I wasn't ending us.

"I fucked Spencer."

The words were out before I could change my mind. He deserved to know, but I couldn't help but wonder if a part of me wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me, strike back with what ammunition I had.

I expected to see his blue eyes stain green with jealousy as it raged through him uncontrollably, witness his hands fisting as he restrained hitting something.

He did none of those things.

There was a flare of something in his eyes, but not the rage I was expecting. Instead, he rubbed his hands over his face and then leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees.

"What the fuck, Edward? Why did you do something like that? Why him? Did he threaten to out you?" The questions were belted at me roughly, but calmly.

Dropping into the chair across from him, I looked at him. "It was the night I called you. I was hurt and drunk. He showed up at my room, he wanted it. I thought maybe it would help me forget."

"Do you know how fucking stupid that was? He's fucking blackmailing you."

"Not anymore. He gave me the pictures back after I fucked him."

"What if he tells someone?"

"He won't. If he was going to, he would have already."

I wanted to move next to him again, seek the comfort I hoped he was still willing to give. Hesitantly, I stood up and moved to the couch to stand in front him. A heaviness hung between us, our mutual suffering mingled to create a stifling air, and just when I thought I would suffocate in it, Jasper saved me by parting his knees enough for me to slip between them. Reaching up, he gripped my hips and pulled me a step closer, resting his forehead on my stomach. My hands went to his hair, carding through the long waves and holding him to me.

"Edward, I can't imagine how you felt after the phone call. If it had been me…I honestly don't know what I would have done…" he spoke into my stomach, his words somewhat muffled.

"You're not mad?"

He shook his head against me. "I don't fucking trust him, Edward. I'm worried. If you just need to fuck someone, why not Riley?"

"Riley? You wanted me to fuck Riley?"

Lifting his head, he gazed up my chest at me. "No, but if you had to fuck someone, he's a much safer choice. It wouldn't have risked your job."

I told him I had fucked someone and he was worried about my job. It only confirmed how differently he and I viewed sex. Jasper wasn't mad I had fucked someone; he was upset that I had risked everything I'd worked my entire life for to do it.

"Jasper," I whispered. Wordlessly, I swiped the tear from his cheek before pulling him off the couch. Willingly, he stood, his hands never leaving my hips as I leaned forward. The kiss wasn't passionate or deep or intense, but it was everything we needed it to be. My arms curled around his neck, pressing him as close to me as he was before as I parted my lips and let in his tongue. Desperately he gripped my sides, wanting more but not asking for it.

With each touch of our lips, a part of us was healed.

With each ragged breath, a part of us was reborn.

When he moaned and wrapped his arms around my middle, my body melded to his, forever desiring how only he could make it feel. It had been far too long since I'd felt his touch and warmth, and I fell into it. Gasping, he broke the kiss but his lips never left me, they trailed along my jaw.

"Make love to me," I murmured.

Pulling away, he looked at me. The storm I had expected to see in his eyes earlier was there, but it wasn't caused by anger or jealously, his blue eyes were darkened to almost black from desire.

Desire not for another but for me.

"No," he sighed.

His answer confused me. I saw the want and need his eyes, it equaled my own. "I thought…you wanted me," I stumbled clumsily over the words as they spilled from my mouth.

"I do, God I fucking do, more than anything, but I'm afraid, Edward." Failing to keep his eyes on mine, he dropped his head to my shoulder and spoke into my flesh. "I'm afraid of moving too fast. It's like we're balancing on something and one small shift in the wrong direction and we both fall off. I…I can't lose you again."

It was an odd comparison, but he was right. Our relationship was hovering, moving too fast or assuming the wrong thing might sever what we had briefly repaired. He sighed and I felt his heavy breath through my shirt before he lifted his head and cupped my face in his hands.

"Come to bed with me?"

It was only the middle of the afternoon, but I wasn't going to pass up his offer. I nodded and he took my hand and started to lead me down the hallway to his bedroom. We entered his dark room and he turned on a light next to his bed. It was messy, blankets tossed and gathered at the bottom, pillows still wearing the imprint of his head. In the spot where he'd been lying before I'd arrived was Teddy, his fur clumped and darkened from nights of Jasper's sorrow. With care, Jasper picked him up and moved him to the table. When the cuff of his shirt rode up, I saw his naked wrist.

My watch was gone.

He turned and followed my eyes. "It's in the drawer. It hurt too much to wear, to feel it on me. But I couldn't go without Teddy. I needed him," he said, almost laughing at the ridiculous idea that a grown man needed a stuff animal.

He sat on the edge of the bed and dropped my hand. Reaching up, he started unbuttoning my shirt, his fingers working quickly to push the pearl buttons through the holes. He pushed it off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor before he was undoing my jeans. I watched his every move as tenderly undressed me, wondering how I had survived even one minute without him.

When my jeans were at my ankles, I toed off my loafers and socks. I stepped out of my pants and then shed my briefs as well. When I stood naked before him, Jasper gasped, timidly running his hands across my abdomen and over my hip.

"So beautiful," he mumbled as he took off his own shirt and then stood to take off his pants. When he was bare, he climbed into bed, rolling onto his side and opening his arms. I wasted no time crawling into his naked embrace. Warm and secure, he pulled me to him, our chests pressed together as he flung a leg over mine. With one strong arm wrapped around my middle and the other under my shoulder, he lay with me.

"Mmmm," he hummed when his nose pushed around the hair on my forehead, followed by a lingering kiss. Trembling, I lifted one hand and placed it flat over his heart and weaved my other through his hair. "Smell so good." His voice was distant, absent, as if he was back in his dreamlike state. Snuggling even closer to him, I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his sweet scent as deeply as possible. Within only a few minutes, I felt his breaths on my face deepen and even out. Around me, his hold loosened, but he never let go.

He'd fallen asleep.

Tilting my head back, I studied his face. It was peaceful and serene, probably for the first time in weeks. His long lashes rested on his cheeks, his lips were swollen and dry and parted to let out small puffs of air.

He was exhausted, and it was my fault.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to his sleeping form before kissing the pulse in his neck, feeling the blood rush under his sensitive skin. "I will make this up to you, love. I don't know how yet, but no matter what, I will make this up to you."

Even in his sound sleep, his arms tightened around me and his lips teased me with a drowsy smile. Closing my own eyes and settling into him as deeply as I could, I sighed, thankful I was back where I belonged.

In Jasper's arms.

_The sand squished between my toes as I shuffled along the ocean's edge. Next to me, Jasper bent over and picked up a rock, holding it out to me with a grin for inspection. When I nodded my approval, he lifted his arm behind him and expertly whipped it forward, sending the rock skimming over the glassy water top. The waves ebbed over our bare feet as we both watched the rock's progress. The sun's rays reflected brightly off the water, blinding us both. Laughing, Jasper tugged my hand before breaking into a run. Pulling me along, he sprinted through the waves, childishly spraying water up onto our jeans and shirts. When he stopped to catch his breath, he pulled me into a hug and kissed me deeply. I could taste the salt on his lips and feel his sun-kissed skin under my hands._

_It was perfect. _

_Leaning away from me, he studied my expression, my smile and bliss before resting his forehead to mine. _

"_I love you," he murmured for no one else but me. _

_Fisting his spirals, I said the words I'd waited my life to say. _

"_I love you, too."_

I felt cold, empty and alone. Not daring to open my eyes, I felt nothing but sheets and blankets around me. There were no arms or legs or lips. Panicking that our reunion had all been a dream, I desperately reached for some sign of his presence. Relief swept through me when my hand landed on a slightly warm spot next to me. Sitting up, I glanced around the room. I saw Jasper's clothes on the floor, his TV on the stand, Teddy on the table, but no Jasper.

Then I heard the voices, quiet and muffled.

Throwing the blankets off, I got out of his bed and found a pair of pajama pants. Once they were on, I padded down the hallway.

"Not my room. You need to stay on the couch."

"Why the fucking couch? Why not your bed?"

"I'm…I'm not alone."

"Not alone…Oh, I see. He comes back and I'm back to the couch. It's just for a few hours. I swear, scout's honor."

"I don't like it when you're like this," Jasper said defeated. Turning the corner, I saw Jasper dressed only in a pair of sweatpants holding the door open.

"Not like you've never seen me like this before," he replied from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, Rile, but he hasn't," Jasper returned with a sad sigh. Jasper's head jerked to me when he heard me in the hall. Frowning, he turned back to Riley. Opening the door, he allowed him inside.

The scent of urine was what hit me first, and then something else that smelled sour and burnt. The sweatshirt he had on was ripped and covered in dirt, grime and I didn't want to know what the other stains were. His jeans were baggy, barely hanging onto hips as he stumbled through the doorway and toward the couch. When he saw me, he stopped and opened his arms wide.

"Hey, beautiful," he slurred. "Long time no see. How you doing?"

"Fine," I answered slowly. "Jasper?"

"Everything's fine, Edward. I'll be back to bed in a minute."

"Yeah, in a minute after he yells at me cuz he don't want me here like this," Riley laughed.

Ignoring Jasper, I took a few steps closer to them both. Riley's hands were shaking as he held his arms out for me and red almost completely colored the whites of his half closed eyes. His nostrils were pink and raw, and his balance was almost nonexistent. Riley swayed and Jasper caught him, putting an arm around his back and helping him to the couch.

"Such a good whore," Riley tried to chuckle. "Why you such a good boy, Jas?"

Jasper remained quiet, helping his friend sit on the touch. Kneeling in front of Riley, he yanked the dirty sweatshirt off him and tossed it on the floor several feet away. Then he did the same with his even dirtier tee shirt.

"C'mere, whore, let's fuck," Riley mumbled, reaching out to Jasper but grasping nothing but air. I winced at Riley's words, but Jasper didn't seem to notice.

"Can you stand?" Jasper asked sharply.

"Wanna fuck standing?" Riley pushed off the couch and stood in front of Jasper, his body tilting side to side. Jasper quickly undid Riley's jeans, not that he had to, they would have fallen down with one tug. Holding his leg, he helped Riley step out of them. Before Jasper could stand, Riley grabbed his head and pressed it into his naked crotch. "Suck me, bitch."

Forcing his way out of Riley's hold, Jasper stood up. "Lie down." He demanded but then proceeded to help Riley onto the couch. "Edward, can you get the blanket from the end of my bed, please?"

Nodding, I went to his room and grabbed the blanket and brought it to him. He took it and unfolded it, spreading it over Riley.

"Are we having a threesome? Can I fuck beautiful first? Such a sweet ass on him but you're my favorite whore, Jas. I love my whore…" Riley's chatter was endless, babbling as his eyes drifted closed. As he passed out, his body would occasionally jerk, almost throwing him off the couch, but Jasper was there to catch him.

"You go back to bed, I'm going to stay with him for awhile," Jasper told me as he sat down on the floor next to the couch. I don't know if he meant to or not, but he laid his head on the cushion next to Riley's. Lifting his hand, he brushed Riley's hair off his face. "Why, Rile…" he sighed sadly.

I ignored his request and sat on the floor in front of him. Riley's greasy hair fanned out over the leather and drool began to slide from the corner of his mouth.

"What's he on?"

The good friend he was, Jasper hesitated to answer me. "Nothing, just a bad day at work," he lied.

"Jasper, I work in pharmaceuticals, I think I can tell when someone is fucking high."

Jasper rubbed his face with his hands and sighed, resigned. "Whatever he can get his hands on. Usually coke, but he's done meth, crack, heroin. You name it, he's probably tried it."

My eyes immediately went to Riley's arms for the signs of use. "There are no marks."

Jasper almost smiled. "Says he doesn't want to mar his otherwise perfect body. He snorts and smokes only."

"Has he tried rehab?" I asked, resisting the urge to touch Riley as he slept.

"He's a hooker, Edward. He can't afford rehab. He's just trying to survive until the next day, maybe forget a bit of his shitty life every now and then."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, taking Jasper's hand into mine.

"Not exactly the reunion I'd imagined for us," he sighed.

"Doesn't matter. We're together, that's all I care about," I tried to reassure him. Moving next to him, I put my arm around his shoulders and leaned against him, rubbing my hand along his thigh.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, almost perfectly still except for Jasper's occasional sigh and my hand on his leg. Finally, Jasper lifted his head and took Riley's hand, pressing his finger to the bulging vein.

"His pulse isn't racing anymore. That's good."

"Good?"

"Yeah, the shit he takes makes his heart race, he gets all jumpy but when the high starts to wear off, he crashes, but his heart still races. I stay with him until it slows down again. Sometimes his high lasts for several hours, it all depends on how much shit he took. From the looks of him, I'd say this high was at least four hours old."

"How do you know all this?"

He lowered his eyes. "Another time, Edward."

"Don't do this, Jasper, don't close me out," I pleaded.

A battle raged in him, I witnessed it as his went back and forth in his mind until he settled on a decision. Keeping his eyes downcast, his thick lashes shielding him, he spoke.

"My parents were drug addicts. It's why I ended up in an orphanage. My parents were arrested and jailed. I don't know what happened to them after that."

His words were powerful, but his voice was weak, emotionless. He had put a distance between him and that part of his life, and he hid it in his voice but not his eyes. The pain of a child left behind clouded his eyes. Sometimes his strength surprised me. I knew it shouldn't, but there were times when I expected him to bolt rather than deal with what was happening.

But he never did.

"Jesus, Jasper, why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid it would scare you off, that you might think like parents like son," he admitted with a slight shrug.

"No, I don't. I'm only more amazed at how strong you are."

He snorted and shook his head. "Yeah, real strong."

"Strong," I repeated before standing and holding my hand out to him. "Come to bed with me."

With one last long glace at Riley, Jasper stood and before taking my hand, kissed Riley's forehead and made sure he was covered with the blanket. He followed me down the hall, but he looked back at Riley several times before we reached his room. In the dark, we pulled off our pants, eager to feel each naked again. I got into bed, pulling him down with me, holding him the same way he had held me earlier. Once he was pressed against me, his breaths moist on my chest, I held him tight.

"Why didn't you call me, Edward?" he asked into the darkness quietly. "I tried to call you every day."

Closing my eyes, I wished the hurt in his voice away. "I couldn't. It was wrong and childish, I know that, but I needed space. I needed to think and I needed a clean break. I hurt so much, I could think of nothing else."

"I missed you so fucking much," he whispered.

"I missed you too."

"I was so worried about you. I thought Spencer had outed you, or something worse with your father. I didn't know if I'd done something wrong or if it was something else. The not knowing hurt as much as missing you did."

For two weeks, I had ignored his calls, shut him out of my life without one word or explanation. I knew why I had walked away from us, but he hadn't. Each day, he had wondered what he had done wrong and each night he went to bed not knowing anymore than he did that morning. His sleepless nights, the circles under his eyes, the weight he'd lost, were all because of me. I had gone through my own hell, I had even put myself there but I had unwillingly dragged Jasper along with me.

It hadn't been fair.

He deserved better. I knew that, but all I'd heard while I was gone were his moans of pleasure from another man, pleasure I began to wonder if I could ever give him again.

Clenching my eyes shut, I reminded myself I was in his arms.

Me.

Not _him_.

It was _me_ that Jasper was with.

"I'm sorry, Jasper."

There was a soft sigh and then he kissed my shoulder. "Why did you call me that night? Did something happen?"

"Long story," I sighed.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised. Putting some space between us, he raised an eyebrow and waited for me to begin.

"Since I met you, I've been distracted. At first, it was because all I could think about was seeing you again, getting fucked by you again, but gradually it changed from only thinking about the sex to wanting to hear your voice, see your smile and hold your hand. I don't know when it happened, but I began to avoid things at work. Small things at first, things that wouldn't matter, but those small things became bigger, like rescheduling meetings, missing parties and avoiding phone calls because I was with you or on the webcam with you."

As I told him what had happened, my eyes fluttered between his and his lips. Never once did the stroking of his thumb on my shoulder falter, nor did his eyes ever leave mine.

"I had no idea."

"There's no way you would. I didn't exactly advertise it. I'm not proud of it. I got my work done, nothing suffered, but it wasn't the quality of work that is expected from me. I'm better than that. Normally I am the first one at the office and the last to leave. The day you left, I had rescheduled a meeting so that I could come say goodbye to you. There was communication error and the meeting didn't get rescheduled and I missed it. Spencer wouldn't leave me alone and later that day, I snapped at my assistant. After that I was worried at snapping at the wrong person, so I turned my phone off. The next morning, my father phoned me and called me out on my behavior lately. I listened to his rant and when it was over, I realized he was right. I knew I hadn't been putting the effort I normally do into my work, but at the time I didn't care. I spent that day revisiting the places we went to our on our date. Starbucks, Pike's Market, the Space Needle, even the beach…" I stopped there, letting my words rest on him and taking his hand in mine.

"Edward-"

I stopped him when I put my fingers to his lips. "It was my own fault. I missed you, and being at those places helped me feel closer to you while you were gone. It was probably a pretty fucking stupid thing to do, rubbing salt in the wound and all, but it helped for awhile. I imagined you'd never done those things with someone else and it made me feel better."

"I hadn't. You were my first date. Ever."

Sighing, I looked at our hands, fingers twisted and tangled around each other so much I couldn't tell where his hand ended and mine began, much like how I felt our souls were.

"After I got back from walking, I started drinking. A lot. I was drunk, and just really fucking needed you, even just to hear your voice. Guess I got more than I bargained for, huh?" I huffed and shook my head.

"Edward, I thought about you so fucking much. I even brought Teddy with me. At the airport, when I had to give those people my suitcase, I panicked because I thought I would never see him again. I was so relieved when I got him back. Every day I held him and looked at the watch. Texas was…Texas, but you're my home and I wanted to be-"

I stopped him by smashing my mouth to his, kissing away the last of his words. Our hands began to eagerly roam each other, grasping for hair, skin, anything we could hold and remind ourselves that we were really there.

Together.

By the time I lifted my head, my lips were bruised and my heart thundered in my chest. Staring at him, relishing in just having him near, I traced the lines of his face I that knew so well. Silently, with a caress of my thumb over his lips, I asked him to make love to me. Brushing my hair back, he ran his fingers through it, messing it up even more.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I murmured.

I don't think I'd ever been surer of anything before.

Not wasting anytime, he rolled onto his back and pulled me on top of him, letting my hips settle between his spread legs. Our lips met again, tongues explored, hands gripped skin, clawing in an urgent need to be even closer. Between us, our cocks glided along each other as our hips moved in sensuous circles, only taking seconds for our bodies to reacquaint and fall into sync each other. My heart pounded against his, and I knew there was no other place I would rather be, no other place I could ever thrive, than in his embrace.

With my arms hooked under his shoulders, I cradled his head in my hands while we made out, slow and languid. He peppered feathery kisses along my jaw and down my neck, sighing when he licked along my collarbone. As I lay there on top of him, even as he lavished my body, my mind doubted what he wanted, what he needed from me. Did he need something I couldn't provide?

"I'll never be a commanding top like he is," I admitted as I craned my head to give his mouth better access.

"I don't need you to be. All I want you to be is you, Edward. No one can make me feel like you do," he muttered, moving his lips against my flesh. I moaned and bucked my hips. As much as my heart wanted it to last, my body wanted him to hurry, take me and claim me as his again.

"Please," I groaned, punctuating it with a sharp thrust of my hips.

He stopped the kisses and reached toward his drawer, pulling out the lube and a condom. After

drizzling some lube onto his fingers, Jasper snaked a hand between us, grazing along our cocks before he reached my entrance. I thrust my hips forward, spreading my legs as much as I could for him. The shift in position allowed more contact between us our cocks and they smashed against each other with a much welcomed friction.

One slick finger encircled my puckered skin before he slid it inside me. Instantly my hips pressed back into his hand, already wanting him deeper. My hands fisted his hair fiercely as my head fell onto his chest and I rode his finger, moving along it as I would have his cock. The second I paused, he added a second one and began to ready me as he pumped them in and out of me. Below me, his hips began move against me, our cocks rubbing and sliding and leaking.

"Need you so bad," I growled impatiently, lifting my head from his chest to show him just how bad I wanted him inside me. Taking his fingers from me, he ran the wet tips up my side, leaving tiny bumps behind. Reaching next to him, he grabbed the foil, his slippery fingers fumbling with it.

"Let me," I offered. Releasing his head, I pushed up and sat back on my heels and took the squared package from him. I tore it open and pulled the condom out with a satisfied smile. "Easy."

"For you," he chuckled.

Shifting my weight and straddling his thighs, I tugged the condom over his erection. While he held the base of his cock, I positioned myself over him, gingerly lowering myself onto him, the ring of muscles in my ass burning as they stretched to accommodate his cock. One of his hands moved to my hip to gently guide me while the other wound around my neck. I felt his fingers in my hair, the ends spilling through his grasp. Our eyes never left each other as I impaled myself on him, the connection so great that it seemed everything around us had stilled.

Time hadn't passed, the two weeks of separation and anguish had never existed. It was just as it had been before he'd left. Two souls and bodies connecting in the only way they knew how, the only way they knew how to express what went beyond words and comprehension. We both felt it, the enormity of the moment we were experiencing together.

It was in his eyes, his touch and his breath.

Of all the men that had touched him, I was the only one that made him feel that way.

As desperate and eager our bodies were, our hearts were traveling down a path together again, wanting it to last and not be rushed.

Once he was completely sheathed within me, my ass resting on his hips, I splayed my hands on his chest and leaned toward him for a kiss. The second our lips met, our desire overwhelmed what little control we had. Tongues swirled and flickered, lips pressed, teeth nibbled. Moaning, I began to roll my hips forward, shuddering when my ass slid over his cock. Joined everywhere possible, we healed and we forgave.

Lazily we kissed as I rode him. I reveled in every touch he graced me with, greedily devouring every worshipping caress. Pushing off him, I sat up and stilled my movements. Taking one of his hands from my thigh, I gripped it in mine and kissed the back of it.

"What's wrong?" he asked breathlessly. A flush had claimed his cheeks and neck, covering his shallow skin. Sea blue eyes gazed at me through his half closed lids and his lips formed a worried pout.

"Nothing. It's perfect. I just wanted to watch you," I whispered.

Relieved, he slipped his hand from mine and wrapped his heated fingers around my erection, pumping me slowly. My head lolled back and I groaned loudly. Other than the few minutes with Spencer, my cock had been ignored since my last time with Jasper. There had been no morning wood, no quick wanks in the shower or before falling asleep at night.

"Hey," he whispered and I looked down at him. The rough pad of his thumb grazed my cheek, smearing the tears that rolled freely down it. "Edward?"

He quieted beneath me, his hips pausing. I wasn't embarrassed at showing him my weakness, but I shook my head, not wanting him to mistake the tears for something they weren't. Trying to smile, to relieve his worry, I took his hand from my face and tangled our fingers.

"It's just…being with you again…" I tried to explain but fell short.

No words could even begin to express what I was feeling right then, how immersed in him I was. Never had so many emotions surged inside me, enveloping them all into the love I had for him.

"I know, ba-I know." Under me, his hips began to move again, rocking me forward with tiny thrusts.

His hesitation to say the endearment crushed me. Painfully I recalled telling him never to call me the generic term again.

I needed to hear it.

"Say it," I murmured, grinding down on him and clutching his hand in mine.

"Baby," he whispered so reverently, so sincerely and tenderly that it made my heart stop.

I realized then that it wasn't the word at all, but the way it fell from his lips, the way he said it to _me_, _only_ me. It didn't matter what he called me, it was how he said it.

With love.

It was my turn to wipe the tears from his cheeks as he smiled up at me.

"I'm your baby," I agreed.

"Only you," he breathed with devotion.

I wasn't sure when he had done it, but he had begun to stroke me again, using the fluid that had gathered at the slit to ease his hand over my skin. Reflexively, my hips bucked into his tight fist and I began to beg for more. His nails dug into my flesh as he planted his feet flat on the bed for leverage and began to move up into me, easing his cock in and out of my ass unhurriedly and in perfect sync with his strokes. Tensing, I already felt my orgasm sitting low and tight in my belly, preparing to spread throughout my body. Using Jasper's thighs, I leaned back against him and stilled while he stroked me. Undecided which to watch more, my eyes danced been my rigid shaft in his hand and his eyes. Shallow breaths escaped us both as he worked me, his movements erotic and deliberate. Thrusting up, his cock tapped my gland, sending phantom currents of ecstasy up my spine.

"More, love, more," I released in a throaty murmur, wantonly grinding my ass down as he pumped me faster. Shamelessly crying out, I clutched his hand to my chest, over my racing heart.

The heart that would forever belong to him.

Never moving my eyes from his, I watched him watch me as the fire ignited and my climax burned in me. One more stroke and my cock pulsed in his hand, shooting thin jets of cum onto his chest. The tingling warmth spread throughout me, touching my fingers tips and toes, filling me with everything I had been missing.

"Jasper, don't ever stop," I begged.

"I won't," he promised.

Obeying, his hand slowed, but continued to stroke me until my cock was sated. Looking down at him, I saw his cum-painted chest and I realized I had marked him.

It was time for him to mark me.

"Make me yours again, love," I pleaded.

Dropping my hand, he moved his to my hip, and holding me tightly with both hands, he began to ravenously slam up into me. Semi-hard, my cock bounced with his jerky movements, cum still dripping from the tip and running down the side. Digging his fingers into me hard enough to bruise, he frantically chased his orgasm. His thrusts lacked rhythm as he pressed his head back into the mattress, the tendons in his neck straining with every ounce in him. He emitted grunts from his effort and sweat beaded on his chest. Enthralled, I brushed his damp curls from his forehead, running my fingers through to the ends before doing it again.

"I want to see you come for me, Jasper," I whispered.

The words were his undoing and his body unraveled before me. He tried to hold my gaze but his lids shut and he released a whimper and his cock emptied into the condom. Spasms wracked his body, his ab muscles clenching and relaxing with each wave of his orgasm. I had traveled around the world and had seen extraordinary sights, but nothing would ever compare to the way Jasper looked right then. Long minutes passed and he was still holding me to him, his cock still twitching deep inside me as his body attempted to climb back down from euphoria.

"Jesus, baby, that was…" Panting breaths stole the air from his lungs as he gulped quickly.

"I know," I agreed, not even needing to hear the rest.

I adored him while he lay catching his breath, my hands skimming lightly over his sweat-sheened skin. As he regained his senses, his grip on me slackened and his hands fell from my hips. Leaning to the side, I reached into the opened drawer and grabbed his watch. He watched me intently, curiously. Slowly he lifted his hand, holding his naked wrist out to me and I clasped the metal band around it.

"There, back where it should be," I told him.

"I'm never taking it off again," he vowed.

I kept his wrist in my hand, running my fingers over the smooth crystal. I fell forward and kissed him, his lips soft and pliable. When I felt my chest adhering to his with drying cum, I sat up. When I lifted my hips, he reached between us and grabbed his softening cock, holding the condom while I slipped off him.

"I'll be right back," I said, jumping off the bed and heading into the master bathroom. After washing my hands, I wet a towel and brought it back to Jasper. He hadn't moved. Literally. One hand was still by his side while his other still held the base of his limp cock.

"Come to take care of me?" He smiled lazily as he watched me approach.

"Always," I teased as I leaned over and wiped his chest. He tugged the condom off and I cleaned his cock before tossing the towel on the floor. He turned to his side and I got into bed, moving so my back was against his chest, our used bodies easily settling against each other.

"Edward?"

"Mmm?"

"There's no place like home," he murmured.

"No, there's not," I agreed as my eyes drifted closed. "You're my home, Jasper."

"And you're mine," he promised.

We were alone in his room, but we weren't alone. Riley was passed out only a room away, other clients were somewhere in the city, Spencer was a few blocks away, and when I glanced at the cowboy boots by his closet, I realized the man from Texas was even closer. There were too many people in our life, in our relationship. I wanted Jasper for myself, I wanted him to see what we could be like alone, not influenced by work, or interrupted by middle of the night visitors. I needed to show him what he meant to me.

It was how to do it that left me baffled.

Closing my eyes, I imagined us together, and for the second time that day, I fell asleep in my lover's embrace.

_The breeze was blowing his hair across his face. No matter how many times he tucked it behind his ear, the errant waves returned to block his view. He held a quilt around his shoulders, his hands braced on the worn porch railing as he overlooked the morning sun peeking over the ocean, facets of light bouncing off the ocean, white foam gathering as the waves crested before easing over the sand. Naked, I walked up behind him and wrapped an arm around his middle and handed him a mug of coffee. Sighing, he leaned his head on my shoulder and took a sip. _

"_It's beautiful here," he said absently, his eyes never leaving the rising sun. _

"_It is. Peaceful."_

_We stood like that with him in my arms until the sun had completely breeched the horizon. _

"_Is it always like this here?"_

"_No, it's never been as beautiful as it is now with you here," I replied honestly. _

"_You're a sap," he joked. "But I love you anyway."  
_

"_This sap loves you too."_

My eyes snapped open, and I discovered my heart racing in my chest and my breaths short. Suddenly, I knew exactly what I had to do. Careful to not wake Jasper, I climbed out of his bed and grabbed his sweatpants from the floor, throwing them on before practically running down the hall.

"Where's the fire, beautiful?" his voice was drawn and rough, but his signature flirt was still there.

"You're awake." I stopped just shy of the couch.

"Jasper said you were a bright guy. And here I thought you were only pretty."

He pulled himself upright so he was leaning against the arm of the couch. The blanket slid down his chest and he left it there as he ran a hand through his hair and then rubbed his eyes with the heels of his filthy palms. There was still a slight shaking in his hands, but other than that, he seemed relatively normal.

"So I take it that you two kissed and made up?"

"Yeah, I think so."

He moved his legs and patted the couch, but before I sat down, I went to Jasper's desk and got his laptop. Sitting on the edge of the couch, I put the laptop on the coffee table and started it up.

"Sudden urge to check you stocks?" he asked, craning his neck to see the screen.

"Overseas market," I quipped but it went over his head. "Just doing something for Jasper. A surprise."

"A surprise?" He leaned forward and read over my shoulder. "Nice place."

"Yeah, it is. Have you ever been there?" I mumbled.

"Of course, took my last vacation there," he joked.

I tried to stay calm as I clicked through the links and bought what I needed to get, but my heart pounded with each keystroke. It had been a few years since I'd been there and hoped it hadn't changed much. While Riley rested his head on my shoulder, I entered all the information.

"Did you just lick me?" I asked him as I closed the browser.

"Maybe," he chuckled. As I closed the laptop, I felt him sink his teeth into my flesh and I raised an eyebrow. "Hungry."

"Then eat."

"I am."

"I meant food. I'll make you something." I stood and looked down at him. "Eggs Benedict? Blackberry brie omelet? Cinnamon French Toast?"

"Jesus, slow down. I was thinking more like leftover pizza and a beer."

I glanced down his chest, his ribs visible under his pale skin. "Go shower. I'll cook."

"Yes, master," he chuckled as he rose, letting the blanket fall to the floor. My jaw hit the floor next when he stretched his arms above his head and twisted side to side, his cock swaying with his movements. With a smirk, he brushed by me and headed for the bathroom.

I went into the kitchen and searched Jasper's cupboards and refrigerator to see what I had to work with. After finding some cheese, eggs, milk and a few others things, I began to cook breakfast even though it was the middle of the night. I had the toast in, the coffee brewing and the omelet on the stove next to the bacon when Riley returned. He leaned against the door jamb with a dark towel wrapped loosely around his hips. Shaking his wet hair, he sprayed water at me and laughed when I jumped back. Scowling at him, I took the bacon from the pan and onto a plate.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah, a little. Fuck, you can cook too? And here I thought you all rich types had chefs and shit."

"Different chef for everyday of the week," I retorted as I slid his omelet onto a plate. "Actually, my mom loves to cook. She taught me a few things. Sit."

He did as I said and waited while I put a plate of a sausage, cheese, and vegetable omelet with toast and bacon in front of him. "Coffee?"

"Sure," he said hesitantly as he picked up his fork and pushed the food around. "It looks good."

"You sound surprised." I sat down across from him and folded my arms on the table as I watched him begin to eat. He chewed his first bite, his eyes widening.

"Fuck, this shit is tasty."

Proudly, I sat back and smiled.

"You can cook, you're smart, rich, hot, and have a nice ass. Quite the package." After the first forkful, he began to shovel it in a blinding pace.

"Don't eat so fast, you'll-"

"Make myself sick, yeah I know, Mom. Hasn't happened yet though."

Watching him eat, his hair still damp from his shower, his skin clean and smelling fresh, I became curious. Leaning forward, I tilted my head.

"Can I ask you something?" Not stopping, he nodded. "What happened?"

He paused, frowning at his food before he put his fork down. "Just forget it, okay?"

"No."

"Edward," he sighed, already frustrated.

"Tell me."

"What do you want to know? That I had been fucked four times, gave head a dozen times, and hadn't eaten in three days? Do you want to hear about the guy that was so fat, I could barely find his dick to suck? Or the guy that tried to fuck me without a condom? Or the guy that wanted to give me five bucks for a handjob and I did it? You want to hear all that shit, beautiful?" He ranted, his voice slightly hoarse, I assumed from whatever he had inhaled.

"I want to know why you were like…that," I said quietly.

He sat back and sighed. "Not all of us can be as clean cut and wholesome as Blondie in there. Some of us are more fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"He worked the streets, went through the same shit I do, but he managed to stay clean. I'm weak so I didn't. I wanted to forget the nameless faces that stuck their dick in my ass."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't exactly go around advertising it, beautiful. It's not something I'm proud of, but I just need it sometimes. It's no big deal."

He words almost exactly echoed the ones I had said to Jasper earlier when I had been telling him about missing work.

"Why do you need them?"

"For awhile I'm not a fucking homeless hooker. Those faces and dicks fade away…" Looking down at his food, he took a few more bites before putting his fork down. "It's hard, Edward. Some days are not so bad, but sometimes, I just want to escape. They help."

"Don't you want to stop?"

"Not really. Stopping means remembering."

"It means living. They're going to kill you."

He shrugged casually. "Maybe, maybe not. Doesn't really matter, does it? The end is going to come eventually anyway."

"How can you say that? Be so cavalier about death?"

"Because I see it every fucking day, beautiful. Murders, suicides, overdoses. Hell, half the people on the street are walking dead anyway."

"But you're not like them," I whispered. "You're different."

"Why? Because I'm hot?" he scoffed, stuffing a piece of bacon between his lips. "Doesn't matter out there anyway."

"You're smart."

"I never finished high school. I left during my sophomore year." When he finished, I saw him cringe, as if he hadn't meant to tell me. Slowly, he dragged his eyes up to mine. "Don't ask."

"Why did you drop out?"

"Damn, you're stubborn. Good thing you're ass is hot." He stared at me, challenging me to back down. Little did he know some of the tough opponents I had faced in boardrooms over the years. Giving him my best glare, he shook his head and the fight was over.

I had won.

"Fine. You want to know what happened to little Riley Biers? I'll tell you." He pushed the empty dish aside and ran his hands down his face one time to prepare himself. "I grew up not too far from here, but unlike Jasper, I had the perfect childhood. Loving parents and everything I could want, friends, clothes, food. My dad was a minister at a church in town. Adored by everyone, he could do no wrong. They came to him for advice, confessions, even therapy. My mom didn't work, but she was very involved in the church, she sang in the choir, organized all their fundraisers, led a bible study class. They were Mr. and Mrs. Church with their adorable little boy. The picture perfect family."

"Sounds nice."

"It was. Until I turned twelve or thirteen, and I was with a friend looking at some porn mags. He got hard, I got hard. He got hard because of the naked girls, I got hard because he got hard. For months, I denied it to myself. Then I was online and searched for naked men. I got hard again. One thing led to another and eventually, I was getting head from the kid that was supposed to be tutoring me in math."

"How old were you?"

"Just turned fifteen I think. The kid and I kinda sorta dated, more like fucked around I guess. Blow jobs, hand jobs. We even had sex a few times, but we were kids, and lasted all of five minutes on a good day. Every Sunday I sat in church, all dressed up in my best clothes while my father stood before everyone in the town and preached to them about guidance and their sins and spiritual well being. How believing and having faith would save them from hell, forgiving would send them to heaven. I would look next to me and see my mother smiling proudly at my dad and I wondered what I had done wrong, what was wrong with me. I wasn't like them. According to my father, being gay was a sin, an abomination, and every other bad thing there was."

"Jesus."

"He was exactly my problem. So when I sat my parents down one Sunday after service and told them I was gay, they promptly prayed and then threw my ass out the door."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"They let me pack a bag with clothes and shit, gave me a hundred bucks and sent me my way. I stayed with my friend for a few days, but then his mom found out that the queer was hiding in his closet…literally," he laughed. "Once she threw me out, I hitchhiked here."

"How did you start…ya know."

"Hooking? You can say word, beautiful." He chuckled when I blushed. "A guy stopped and offered me a ride to Seattle for free if I have him a blow job. Once I arrived here, I spent a few days hungry and wandering around. Hooking just seemed like the next logical step."

"I'm sorry," I told him, not really sure what else to say. Fifteen years old and selling his body for money.

"Don't be. You didn't put me there." He paused, and then a slow smile spread as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "So I've showed you mine, time for you to show me yours." I glanced down at the sweatpants I was wearing. "Not that. Tell me, how does a rich fuckhot guy like you end up falling in love with an escort?"

My eyes widened.

_Love._

_Love._

I had said the word in my head several times, even said it aloud to Emmett, but Riley used it so easily, freely, as if he had no doubt or hesitation.

"Oh come on, don't give me that wide-eyed innocent shit. You love him, he loves you. Now I want to know how."

"My father isn't a preacher but he owns a large corporation that I worked for. From the time I was in my mother's womb, I was groomed to run his company someday. Everything in my childhood was done in preparation for the day I take over for my father. His lifetime's work, his family fortune, rides on my shoulders. If I come out, it would cause a huge uproar, bad press and lost deals and revenues. I came to Seattle for work, a friend recommended the Service to me. I called and had one guy a few times, then had Jasper."

"And never looked at another man again. Well, besides, me."

I smiled and nodded. "Besides you. At first it was just sex, really fucking good sex, but gradually things changed and here I am."

"Then tell me this, where the fuck were you for two weeks?"

Shaking my head, I stood up and went to the sink to avoid seeing the anger in his eyes.

"That boy was broken, beautiful. I've seen a lot of fucked up shit, but I've never seen anyone like that. I had no fucking idea how to fix him. Everything I tried failed."

"I was broken too," I whispered to the stainless steel sink.

"How come?"

"I called him while he was in Texas. The call got accepted by accident and I heard him with another man."

"So?"

Spinning, I glared at him. "I heard them fucking, I heard Jasper fucking come."

"Big deal. It was fucking. It's kinda his job," he stated matter of fact.

"Yeah, I fucking get that, Riley. This was different."

"How?"

"It's one thing when he goes with another guy and I'm not around. Being subjected to hearing it is completely fucking different."

"Then you shoulda fucking hung up," he snapped quickly.

"You don't understand," I spat, shaking my head.

"Then explain it."

Throwing my hands up, I glared at him, but he just stared at me with a smile.

"He calls me baby, it's his name for me. It means a lot to me and I heard him call the other guy that," I choked out.

"The guy that was fucking him?"

I cringed but nodded.

"Things slip out in those kinda moments. I hate to break it to you, but you're not the only one I call beautiful."

I feigned hurt and he laughed.

"This guy, he's just a client, don't worry about him."

"That's just it. He's not. Jasper said he was a friend. The guy took him to Texas and showed him his childhood town."

"You're worried about feelings?"

"You could say that. More that he could have feelings for Jasper. I'm worried this guy could take him from me."

"Beautiful, Jasper isn't for anyone to 'take'. He knows where he belongs."

Riley might have left school at fifteen, but he knew shit even the smartest people didn't know.

"I feel like I'm competing against this guy. He's handsome and rich and out."

"Doesn't matter. Even if you are, you're winning."

"How so?"

"You're here. He isn't. Though, if he's all those things, I wish he was. I was kinda lonely on the couch."

"I want him to be mine, Riley. Just mine. And I can't."

"Because?"

"He won't let me, and I can't exactly bring him home to my parents." Sighing, I walked over to him and nudged his knees. Not looking at me, he moved sideways and I sat on his lap and wrapped an arm around his neck. He dropped his head to my shoulder and kissed it.

"I could build my world around him, Riley," I whispered to him. He lifted his head and eyed me warily, searching for something so deep and intense, I was forced to glance away.

"Sure there's enough room in your closet for both of you?" he asked. It was an honest, direct question.

"Are you saying he deserves better?" I challenged.

"He deserves love. He deserves to not be left in the dark, to not be broken like he was. You're wonderful, beautiful, and I like you, probably more than I should, but so help me, if you ever make him like that again, I will find you."

"Promise?" I teased to lighten the mood and rested my forehead to his temple. "You're a good friend."

"I was a useless friend, but I tried."

"Thank you for being there for him."

"You're welcome." He leaned back so he could look into my eyes. "Don't fucking do it again," he warned.

I pressed my lips to his in a brief, chaste kiss. No tongue, no moans, just a grateful kiss.

"Why do you always gotta fucking tease me?" he growled when we parted. "Kissing me. Prancing around all half-dressed. I know you don't got shit on under those pants."

"Neither do you," I reminded him.

"Think Jasper would mind?" he asked mischievously.

"Probably just a bit."

"I should let you two get back to playing chess or counting sheep or whatever the fuck you were doing in there."

"Yes, because that's exactly what we were doing."

"I'm smart like that."

"You need clothes. Let me get you some."

Before he could decline, I jumped up and ran to the bedroom. Quietly, I grabbed my jeans and one of Jasper's tee shirts, along with a pair of socks and a sweatshirt from his closet. When I returned, Riley had moved back to the couch, sitting with his legs spread. The towel discarded on the floor.

"Close your mouth beautiful, unless you want me to fill it with my cock," he warned, only half joking.

I put the clothes on the table. "Jeans, shirt, socks and a sweatshirt. Do you need underwear?" I asked, completely unable to prevent my eyes from dropping to his limp cock nestled between his legs. Swallowing, I shifted my weight uncomfortably.

"Nah, never use them. Just one more thing that gets in between us," he teased. Bravely, I moved toward him and shocked him when I sat on his bare lap.

I separated his damp curls with my fingers. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Watch a movie, finalize my plans for world domination, shit like that," he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and brought his forehead to my lips. "Save me a position for when you're ruling the world."

"You're already penciled in as my fuck toy."

"The perfect career."

"A fitting one. I'm probably going to sleep for little bit longer, but I'll be out by morning."

"You can stay. Jasper won't mind."

"I know, but it's better this way. Long drawn out goodbyes wear me out. Now run along, beautiful, we both know it's not my cock you want to be drooling over. Go take care of our boy," he insisted, bouncing his knees so I would get up.

"Bye, Riley."

"Bye, beautiful."

Standing, I gave him one last kiss on the lips and then silently went back to Jasper. After stripping the sweatpants off, I climbed into bed, curling my body in his, slinging an arm around his waist and nuzzled my nose in the wheat hair at the nape of his neck.

"**~~**"

We woke up in a tangle of limbs and blankets. The sheets were twisted around our legs, securing Jasper and I together by a high Egyptian thread count. I felt his thumb stroking my hip and a smile spread across my face. It was one of complete bliss, but in contradiction, my heart pounded anxiously against my ribs. A thin sliver of light crept through the parted curtains as I snuggled even closer to the warmth of my lover.

I knew I should get up, check phone messages, shower, and head back to the hotel to work, but leaving Jasper, even to run to the bathroom, seemed like the most difficult thing in the world. Our reunion was so new that I feared that being separated from him again, even for a few hours, would ruin the progress we'd made.

I had slept well, heavy and deep, next to him. He had done the same, his body relaxed and limp as he had snored throughout the night. Even in my sleep, I had felt him there, next to me, in my heart, close and solid and mine. My fears of another stealing Jasper's heart appeared to be only partially correct. Jasper had admitted to having a friendship with the other man, and there was no denying a bond that he felt for him. I'd seen it in his eyes, a softening flare, one of trust and faith.

While I may have secured a place in Jasper's heart, his body still belonged to many others. I was not the only one that could claim his lean muscle and lithe form. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I forced myself to focus on him there with me, and what I was about to do. I was about to run out to the living room and grab the laptop to show him what I wanted, but he spoke before I could bring my body to move.

"Am I dreamin'?" he asked in a sleepy drawl.

Placing a kiss on his chin, brushing my lips over his morning scruff, I mumbled. "Only if I am too."

"Best fuckin' dream ever," he replied as he tried to suppress a smile as I worked my lips down his neck. "Mmmmm…keep going lower, baby."

Lifting a hand to my shoulder, he began to push me down his body, only letting me pause briefly to lavish his nipples. Rolling onto his back, he folded one arm under his head and kept his other on me, forcing me to keep moving toward his pelvis. After kissing along his trimmed curls, I breathed heavily on his straining cock, already hard and red. Before I touched him where he wanted it most, I looked up his torso at him and saw him smiling down at me, wisps of hair everywhere in a golden halo as he watched me with such…love.

Riley had seen it. Hell, I'd seen it, I had just refused to believe it. The words had never been spoken, or even hinted at, but it was there, clouding his eyes in an azure fog of emotion.

"Jasper, I…"

There were right fucking there, on the verge of being spoken aloud for the first time.

"What, baby?" he asked gently, his hand leaving my shoulder to run his fingers down my cheek.

Gulping, I closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them, I saw his beautiful face, morning mussed and sleepy just for me.

"I want you to go away with me." His eyes widened and his hand fell from face, landing on his hip. Taking a deep breath, I continued. "I can't take you to Chicago, but there is another place I want to take you. It's very special to me and I want to share it with you. Just you and me, no clients, no work, no Riley."

"Just you and me?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. Will you go away with me, Jasper?"

His brows furrowed and his lips pursed before he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth and considered my question. Holding my gaze, he lifted his hand and cupped my cheek.

"Edward…"

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

I am uncertain if I will be able to maintain the biweekly schedule updating, but I will try. Don't bother to send the 'update soon' reviews, just know that I am always working on either this or WN and will post when I can.

To the person that emailed Dannie: I hope you're satisfied. If you intention was to destroy the lives of two people, consider your mission a success. This is not only her loss, but mine and the fandom's. I lost a writing partner of over a year because of some petty issue or jealousy of her talent. If _anyone _has a problem with me, you know where to find me. PMs are on, the thread, twitter etc.

Want to discuss what happened with other readers? M&A thread: http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674


	27. Somewhere Over the Rainbow

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- This chapter was originally a long one, over 26k, but after thinking about it, I decided to split it into two separate chapters. You will see why when part two is up. Both chapters contain vital moments and I wanted you to be able to focus on those moments, rather than feel overwhelmed with too much at once.

Thank you to everyone for the kind words of support regarding Dannie's departure, I appreciate it very much. Again, I am going to try to maintain the posting schedule we had set, but I can't guarantee I will be able to, so please, no 'update soon' comments/PMs. Trust me, I am always working on either this or Winter's Night.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"Don't be nervous," he whispered, his hand squeezing mine gently as it rested on the armrest between us. Tearing my eyes from the small window and the clouds below us, I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

"I'm not," I lied.

"Bullshit," he returned, adding another squeeze. "It's okay."

"I just don't know how you get used to this," I sighed.

He shrugged. "Hell, Jasper, being a mile high in a plane is a second home to me. The hours I've been airborne probably rival the hours I've been on the ground."

The flight attendant walked by, offering us complimentary drinks and snacks. Edward requested bourbon while I asked for a water. She moved on to the person behind us and I glanced down at Edward's hand still on mine.

He hadn't moved it when she'd come by.

Smiling to myself, I rested my head against the seat and stared at his profile. He was scowling at something he was reading in a magazine. Even with his brows furrowed and his lips frowning, he was still beautiful. High cheekbones complimented his strong, square jaw and rosy skin tone. The thickest and longest eyelashes I'd ever seen framed his honest, sincere eyes. They truly were the windows to his soul. With one deep look into them, I knew what he was thinking or feeling. After years of hiding his true self from others, he had gotten talented at disguising his emotions, but with me that mask was off, and I knew him as well as I knew myself.

I still couldn't believe I was sitting next to him on a plane on our way to the east coast. For the second time in less than a month, I was on a plane, only this time it was with the man I loved. Being with Edward was not the kind of life I had imagined for myself. As a child curled up on my bed hugging Teddy, I had hoped to escape my life, to be rescued by someone, to find my own somewhere over the rainbow.

I just never expected it to be in the form of the gorgeous man with emeralds for eyes next to me.

Since Edward and I had left for the airport, I don't think my heart had stopped racing, and it wasn't from the thought of flying again. It was because of Edward, because of the way he held my hand, brushed his body by me so close I could smell him, and the way he led me through the crowds so effortlessly. Finally, he looked up and caught me watching him.

"What?" he asked self consciously.

"You're beautiful," I answered simply, truthfully.

Blushing, he habitually glanced around us to see if anyone had overheard before he replied. "So are you," he said in a quiet, sweet voice. The plane jolted and I jumped, my eyes growing wide looking at Edward. "It's okay, just some turbulence."

Exhaling, I nodded. Even though I wasn't really sure what he meant, his tone told me I had nothing to worry about. Laying my head on Edward's shoulder, I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling of his warm skin covering my hand. When he returned the gesture by entwining our fingers, I sighed, happy, content.

As nervous as I was, anxiousness running deep inside me, I had no doubt I was where I should be.

Beside Edward.

Edward had been anxious about asking me to go away with him, I had seen it in his eyes and the way he bit his lip right before he blurted it out. My heart swelled painfully in my chest as I had let his words sink in. He thought I might say no because of work, but there had never been anything I wanted to do more than be alone, completely alone, with him.

"Will you go away with me, Jasper?"

Holding his gaze, I lifted my hand and cupped his cheek. "Edward…I want nothing more."

The words had barely left my lips before he was kissing me, lying on top of me and pressing me into the mattress. After we made love, I began to panic about my answer. Saying yes to Edward had been easy, it was pushing away the guilt of leaving Riley again and getting the time off work that worried me.

When we got out of bed I looked around for Riley. Edward hadn't seemed surprised he was gone. Instead he pulled me into the shower, where we took our time with each other before finally heading to the kitchen to eat. On the table was a note.

_Beautiful, thanks for the breakfast and clothes. Remember what I said and everything will be fine._

_Jas, I promise to call in a few days. Don't worry about me, angel. You know me, I'll be ok. I always am._

Edward smiled but refused to tell me what Riley had told him, promising it was nothing bad. When Riley called a few days later, I told him I was going away with Edward.

"About fucking time."

"I'm worried about you," I admitted quietly.

"Jasper," he sighed, clearly frustrated. "I can take care of myself."

"I know, but…" I trailed off. We both knew what I meant. Riley could take care of himself, _if_ he wasn't high. Images of his battered and used body rushed through my mind.

"That won't happen again."

"How do you know?"

"Because you won't let it," he replied quietly.

"I'm not going to go, I can't."

"Fucking ass, Jasper. Go. You need to be with him, even_ I_ can see that," he growled at me. I could practically see him banging his head against the brick wall behind him. "I think he needs this too," he quietly added after, but before I could ask he meant, he spoke again. "Listen, I've got a car pulling up, I gotta run, but you have to go. We'll figure something out," he promised before hanging up.

I hoped he was right, because it was going to break Edward's heart if I told him I couldn't go.

The week had gone by fast, the evenings had been filled with clients and then rushing home to be with Edward. Every night but one he had arrived at my place after work, usually with dinner in his hands, and we would sit and eat and talk. Then I would leave for work, but always he was always there with open arms ready to take me back into them when I returned. We held each other every moment we were together, reconnecting on the most basic of levels with kissing and handholding. When things got heated, clothes were stripped and lips explored naked flesh. Often it led to lovemaking, but sometimes it was just more cuddling, our bodies relieved to just be near each other.

The pull in my chest, in my entire body, was strong and sure and steady, never once wavering since he'd showed up on my doorstep the weekend before. It was when he was near that I felt the most safe and comfortable, but beneath it all, there was a slight tear in our tenuously built world for two. We were both aware it was there, ready to crumble the wall we had constructed to protect us from the reality my work and his family. Every night that he was at my place when I returned from work only confirmed how much he was willing to accept what I did and where I had been, and while I don't think he would ever completely comprehend it, he was trying and that was all that mattered.

One night I had an earlier than normal appointment and was relieved when Edward told me he had a business function to attend. After the scolding from his father, Edward had been working long hours every day, not letting anything penetrate his focus and concentration. I had even woken up to find him on his laptop in bed, only to watch him shut it and then wrap his body around mine.

The night of the dinner party, he called and said he would meet me at my place later and then whispered how much he had missed me that day. I hung up with a sinking feeling deep inside my belly, twisting and churning, and I swallowed the lump it created in my throat. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I slipped my cowboy boots on before heading downstairs to meet Aro. Once I was in the backseat, I gave him the new address and he didn't question why we were going to someplace other than the Renaissance Hotel.

We pulled up in front of the gated house and Aro rolled down the window to press the button on the box. The black iron gates slowly opened in front of us and Aro pulled through them and up to the large brick house.

"Are you sure this is it?" I asked him, looking out at the mansion.

"Yes, sir. I've not been here before but I heard he lived out this way." He got out and opened my door. "I'll see you at nine, sir," he said as I adjusted my jacket.

I nodded, gave him the traditional fist bump, and then walked up the steps of the long porch that ran the entire length of the house. Before I could knock, the huge wooden door opened and I was swept up into his tight embrace of warmth and strength. Behind me, I heard Aro close the door as he got into the car.

Nuzzling his nose in my hair, he sighed. "Been too long, babe. Too fucking long."

With my head buried in his neck, I nodded and tightened my arms around his shoulders. Pulling back, he took my chin into his hand, directing my lips to his. We met in an intense kiss, tongues reacquainting as lips moved over each other with the promise of more. My hands went to his hair and I smiled into the kiss when I felt its longer length and was able to slightly fist the silky, black strands. Tilting my head, I let him deepen the kiss further, moaning when the hand on my back lowered to my ass, groping it as he pressed me to his hard body.

That was a language I could speak.

"Let's get inside before we give your driver a show," Peter smiled as he broke the kiss and took my hands from his hair.

"He won't mind," I chuckled, remembering how Aro had admired the blowjob I had given Edward in the back seat of the car.

"Nice boots," he smiled, tugging me through the doorway and into the house. "Let me show you around."

The floor was alternating squares of gray and white marble and there were rooms on both sides and a hallway heading toward the back of the house. In front of us was a winding wooden staircase leading up to the second floor.

"This is the library and my office," he said as he walked into the room to our right.

Three walls were covered with bookshelves filled with books and knickknacks. The remaining wall was actually a sliding glass door that led outside. There were photos of the ranch, Peter and his parents everywhere I looked, as well as him at charity and business events. Releasing his hand, I wandered the room, picking up pictures and fingering the spines of some books as I made my way around. Sitting in the corner was his desk, large and dark and empty except for a monitor and a few files on it. Behind it was a leather chair that matched the one sitting in the opposite corner. As I stood in front of desk, running my hand along its smooth finish, he came up behind me.

"Do you know how many times I've fantasized about fucking you on this desk?" he asked with his lips at me ear, but not touching me. I shook my head and turned, resting my ass against the desk.

"How many?" I teased easily.

"More than either of us can count. I've spent many work hours sitting here imagining you spread for me."

"Jesus," I murmured, trembling at the image he provided. "What did you do instead?"

"Not work, that's for sure. I may or may not have jerked off in that chair a few times to the image," he laughed. "Come on, next room."

He continued the tour through the formal living room and dining room and then to the gym and small indoor pool. Then he led me upstairs and showed me the various guest bedrooms and then finally, his master suite.

While the design was modern, simplistic and masculine, there were touches of his Texas home with pictures and the blanket folded at the end of his bed. The floor was hardwood but covered with a plush rug. A large dresser was against one of the gray walls and a flat screen television hung next to it. Dominating the room was the four post king size bed with a maroon comforter and large maroon and gray pillows. There were French doors that opened to a balcony and two large windows with maroon curtains that matched the bedspread.

"This is the master bath," he said, opening the door to our left.

"Holy shit."

One wall was dominated by a long granite counter housing two sinks with a large mirror above them. There was a huge tub that looked big enough for four and a shower with a tiled ledge running along one side of it.

"I like to soak," he shrugged.

"Apparently not alone," I smiled.

"Hopefully not," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Come on, one more room left."

We went down the stairs and to the back of the house and entered the kitchen. Pots and pans hung from a rigging from the ceiling, an island that matched the granite countertops was in the center under them. The appliances were modern and sleek but not overstated.

"It's really nice. Your house is beautiful, Peter."

"Thanks," he grinned. "I like it, but I admit, it's nice to have someone here with me."

I walked around the island to the stove and looked into the pots there. "What's for dinner?"

Joining me, he lifted the cover off one and let me inhale the scent. "Chicken marsala with linguini, home baked rolls, salad, and for desert, red velvet cake."

"Sounds incredible."

"It should be done shortly. Why don't you pour us some wine, I'll get the salad."

I grabbed the wine and the glasses off the counter and went to the dining room he'd shown me earlier. There were two place settings at the table, I sat at one and poured the wine. Peter joined me a moment later with a huge bowl of salad and a basket of rolls.

"Hope you're hungry," he joked before sitting down. After taking my hand and bringing it to his lips for a kiss, he smiled warmly at me and then released me. "So tell me about your week, babe. Everything okay?"

Everything was okay because Edward was back, but that wasn't what Peter was looking for. I opted for a less painful approach.

"It's been good. Busy, but good."

"Good to hear. Oh, and by the way, you looking sexy as hell tonight," he smirked.

"So do you," I replied, my eyes straying to the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders and the sliver of skin visible at the neckline.

"I need to check dinner, I'll be right back."

He returned with the meal, setting a plate of steaming chicken, pasta and sauce in front of me. My stomach had calmed from its earlier uneasiness and I began to eat. After a few bites, I saw Peter watching me.

"How is it?"

"Delicious," I answered honestly. "You're a wonderful cook. I'm still learning, but I can make pasta pretty good now."

"You'll get there. I've been on my own for years so I've had lots of practice."

"Did your mama teach you?"

"Yes, a lot. She wanted to make sure her baby wouldn't starve. I told her as long as I had a phone to order out, I wouldn't starve."

The conversation was light for the remainder of dinner. Peter told me about a business trip he'd been on to Chicago and Los Angles, and the latest news from the ranch. I laughed when he told me a story about Sam and another ranch hand, and smiled when he said his mother asked about me. When we were done with dinner, he cleared the dishes and while I poured more wine, he cut the cake and brought in two pieces.

"Oh my God, this is good," I moaned as I took a bite.

He grinned proudly and sipped his wine. As soon as our cake was done, I helped him carry the dishes to the kitchen and then he led me into the room off the kitchen. It was less formal and smaller than the living room with a fireplace and television opposite a large leather couch. After starting some music, he sat on the couch, putting one leg up for me to move closer. Turning, I laid my back against his chest and relaxed into his embrace. My head settled on his shoulder and he wrapped one arm around my middle while the other remained on the back of the couch.

"Update me on James."

"I paid him after Texas, and then gave him another grand last week."

"Are you caught up?"

"For the moment."

"And your friend Riley?"

"He's okay now." I cringed as soon as the words were out, knowing I had slipped, and knowing how observant Peter was, he was going to catch it.

He did.

"Now?" When I remained silent, he took my chin into his grasp and forced my eyes to his. "What do you mean _now_? What happened?"

"I can't…" I shook my head free of his grasp and heard his heavy sigh as I looked away.

"Jasper, you can tell me anything, you know that. Remember, this is what people who love you do. They listen and try to help. Tell me. Please, babe."

His voice was soft, but encouraging and confident.

No one knew the shame and guilt I harbored over what had happened to Riley. Fuck, even Riley didn't know the extent to which I condemned myself nightly, telling myself it should have been me instead of him, that it was my fault for leaving him alone in the streets. There was nothing I could do to fix what had happened, I could only try to prevent it from happening again. I hesitated in telling Peter, the fear of exposing the guilt I had contained for weeks held me back. Then I remembered telling him about my parents and the nonjudgmental way he had listened and supported me.

It was what friends did.

Taking a deep breath, I began. "After I got back from Texas, I couldn't find him. He finally showed up three days later. He'd gotten some shit, but to pay James off, he had to do him a favor. Turns out the favor was to be the fuck toy for some sick fucks that tied him up, raped him, flogged him, burned him…"

I didn't feel the movement or hear the flow of obscenities that I knew were leaving his mouth, but I felt his grip around me tighten, his hold allowing me to release the feelings welling to the surface. Turning slightly in his arms, I burrowed my face in his shoulder. I didn't realize I had shed any tears until I felt his wet shirt under my cheek. The guilt I had suppressed since Riley had arrived at my door beaten and raped quickly forced its way up and out of my body in the form of a sob.

"I should have been there," I mumbled into Peter's shoulder. "I shouldn't have left him. I need to protect him. It was my fault that happened to him."

Peter held me until the sobs ebbed to small shudders. "Jasper, it wasn't your fault. You can't be with him twenty-four-seven. He's an addict, it's what they do. They need it so bad, they don' think ahead to the consequences, they only think of how much they need it. There was no way you could have known that was going to happen."

"No, but if I hadn't gone, if I had been in the city, he might have come seen me instead of getting the drugs."

"_Might have_, but there is no guarantee he would have. Trust me, I've been there, I know the guilt you feel right now. I know how suffocating and terrifying it is, but you don't deserve to put it on yourself."

"But-"

"No, Jasper, listen to me. This is his choice, you're not putting the drugs into his hands, you're not telling him to risk his life by doing them. In fact, you're trying to save his ass, but you need to live your life too." His hands constantly caressed my body until I had calmed under his touch. "Near the end of our relationship, Nicolas used to lie to me all the time. I had left him a few times because of his drug use and he swore he'd get help. He went to few meetings, but then he would tell me he was going to a meeting only to come home high. I sat at home all night thinking he was getting help. I'd cook him dinner and plan a romantic night and then he would come home late and high."

Turning my head, I kissed his neck. "I'm sorry."

"Me too. I loved him, I wanted for him to get better so we could be the couple I knew we could. I thought he was the one."

"The one?"

"The one that I would be with for the rest of my life. Before his drug use, we never fought, the sex was fantastic. We meshed perfectly, but the drugs destroyed us. It was hard to give up on that dream. I know it's different for you and Riley, but I know how much you want to help him. I also know how hard it is to sit by while they ruin their lives."

"It's frustrating. I've got no right to tell him how to live his life. Fuck, I can't even blame him for wanting to forget. If it wasn't for my parents, I'd probably be snorting with him."

"I don't think you would. You're stronger than that."

We were silent for a few minutes, only the sounds of our breaths and the music filling the air. His hand on my abdomen had moved under my shirt, his fingers lightly drawing circles right above the waistline of my jeans. Leaning my head to the side, I gave him room to run his nose up my throat and shivered when the flat of his tongue followed in a long lick. While I felt different than I usually did when I was with him, my body responded to his in all the same ways. The attraction between us was undeniable. We were slaves to the chemistry that sparked when we were together. Regardless if my heart felt heavier as he nibbled on my ear, my body wanted him and my cock twitched in my pants. I wasn't sure anyone except Riley could ever understand my job and how I was able to receive and give physical pleasure with someone who I wasn't in love with. While I enjoyed Peter's company, and his touch, that didn't make what I had with Edward any less special or intimate.

Moaning, I turned my head and captured his lips in a kiss, instantly plunging my tongue into his mouth to find his. Strong hands turned my body so that I was lying flush on him with my arms wrapped around his neck. Our hips moved together in rhythm as we rubbed our jean covered cocks along each other.

"Jesus," he groaned as I broke the kiss and moved my lips over his jaw and down his neck. "Babe, this night was supposed to be about getting to know each other."

"It is."

"I didn't mean physically," he chuckled and I lifted my head.

"Would you rather not?"

He stared at me a few seconds while he weighed my words. "I always want to, but I invited you over for dinner, not fucking."

I nodded, my hands working the belt buckle of his jeans as my lips returned to his neck. His hips thrust up as I undid his belt, unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper. When I brushed my fingers along his cock, he whimpered. Sitting back on my heels, I watched him as I unbuttoned my shirt and then did the same to his, opening it to expose his toned body. His eyes ran up and down my body a few times before he settling on mine.

"Aw, fuck it," he groaned, reaching to undo my pants. Smiling, I looked down at him, watching him reach into my open jeans to palm my growing erection.

Lolling my head back, I released a loud moan and moved my hips against his hand. "Mmm, yeah."

It was all the encouragement he needed. Within seconds, my pants were down around my thighs, my shirt was on the floor and my dick was in his mouth as his fingers probed my ass. He moaned around my cock, the vibrations traveling through me as I threaded my fingers through his hair and held him while he bobbed his head along my length. Releasing me, he slid his shirt down his arms, his eyes never leaving my salvia coated cock. He lifted his hips and yanked his pants and briefs off before doing the same to mine. Once we were both naked, he laid me back on the couch, covering my body with his, moving his cock against mine as he kissed everywhere his mouth could reach.

My heart pounded for him in my chest, my blood ran heated through my veins as he worked my body in all the right ways. Writhing under him, I heard myself beg him for more, until he finally removed his lips from me and was gone, leaving me there gasping for breath. Just as I was about to go find him, he returned with lube and condom. Lying back, I admired his body, the way his long muscles rolled under his Texas tanned skin and the way his cock bounced as he moved toward me. Watching him, I let my legs fall open, exposing my entrance for him, silently inviting him in.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," he muttered, his eyes covering every inch of me in a needy gaze.

Kneeling in front of me, he poured some lube on his fingers and then, while watching my face, inserted two slick fingers and began to pump them in and out of me at a steady pace. When the tips brushed my gland, my entire body arched off the couch and I groaned loudly.

"That's it, babe, let me hear you," he encouraged right before he took my cock back into his mouth.

"Fuck, Jesus fucking Christ," I babbled. "Feels so good."

Slipping his fingers from me, he turned me so my ass was on the edge of the couch. Taking his cock into his own hand, he placed the head at my hole. Gently, he pushed forward, letting me adjust before easing himself in further. I clenched my eyes against the burn, reaching up to pull him down to me. Hooking my legs under his arms, he placed his hands on the couch and then let me draw him in for a kiss. Slowly he began to move his hips, unable to keep still any longer. It wasn't long before he was moving in and out of me in short, powerful thrusts, his mouth on mine the entire time. When the kiss was broken, it was only to catch our breath. Our tongues darted out and tasted and teased.

"Touch yourself," he requested as he left kisses along my jaw line. I released my grip on his ass and moved my hand to my cock, wasting no time before stroking myself with a tight fist. Swelling even more in my hand, my cock leaked precum as Peter continued to fuck me.

My heart might have beat for another, but there was no denying that right then my body craved Peter's touch, the tender way he moved above me, the soft grazes of his lips and fingers. His emotions were almost tangible in the air, hanging over us. It was without question that his love for me hadn't lessened during our separation. It was also without question that I felt for him as well. We both knew it wasn't the same, but neither of us mentioned that while he blanketed us in his love, I merely let it cover me instead of returning it.

"In time you'll feel it," he whispered in my ear.

I knew what he meant, but there was no way I could tell him I already did feel it…for someone else.

"Fuck, you feel so good. Look so hot on my couch." His words were deep and hoarse, his voice rough from his effort to hold off his orgasm. Shamelessly, I stroked myself, plummeting further toward my orgasm every time his cock thrust deep into me. When my climax was within reach, Peter sensed the tightening in my body and kissed me hard.

"Come, babe, shoot your load."

Two strokes later, I obeyed him, my cock jerking in my fist before erupting with long streams of milky, warm fluid. The spasms of my body as my orgasm hit me tightened my ass around his cock and he grunted, desperate to hold off until I was done. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, pressing his body to my cum painted one, and put my lips at his ear. Dropping his head to my shoulder, his teeth dug into my skin.

"Your turn, come in me."

"Fuck," he moaned and his cock emptied his release into the condom. He snapped his hips into me until he was spent and collapsed on top of me, his heavy breaths matching my own. "Babe…"

I raked my fingers through his hair and sighed, my body coming down from its high. When he lifted his head and kissed me, his tongue languidly tangling with mine, he let my legs down and pulled his cock from my ass. The haze of my orgasm was still flowing freely through me when I heard him whisper.

"I love you, Jasper."

The sinking feeling quickly returned, settling in my stomach, taking the place of the tingling that been there only seconds before.

The words I had wanted to say, that I had thought I never would, were on the tip of my tongue.

Only they were reserved for Edward.

"I know," I confirmed before kissing him again.

We spent my last hour there in the shower, washing and kissing before drying off and getting dressed. Peter hadn't scheduled me for the night, saying he had wanted me over for dinner with no expectations. I laughed and told him what did he expect when we were both in the same room. He walked me to the driveway where Aro was waiting with the back door open. Pulling me into a kiss, Peter murmured he would see me soon and he'd teach me to cook one of his mom's favorite recipes the next time I was there.

"Have a good week, babe. I'll see you soon, love you."

"Bye, gorgeous, thank you," I returned before breaking free and walking to the car. I ignored Aro's raised eyebrow as I climbed. After a wave to Peter as we pulled away, I closed my eyes and remained that way until I was home.

"Love?"

His voice was soft, barely above a whisper and if he hadn't shaken my arm, I might not have been pulled from my thoughts of the previous week.

"You okay?"

Eyes full of hope and excitement and love gazed with concern at me. Perhaps he thought I had changed my mind, or that I doubted our relationship, neither of which was true, but until I relieved his worry, it would remain there. Sighing, I returned his stare, but he spoke before I could answer.

"You're worried about Riley."

He was right.

"Do you think he will be okay?" I confirmed his suspicions.

"We showed him how to order from room service and he has a full bar, what more does he need?" Edward teased with a smile as the worry in his eyes gave way to relief.

"God, I hope it's a girl that delivers room service."

"Not that it would matter, he'll hit on her too."

I laughed and then glanced out the window again, the clouds beneath us obscuring my view. I couldn't help but wonder if Riley was keeping his word, if he was safe. Irresponsibly, I had boarded a plane and was taking off for parts unknown without having paid James that week. I had been torn between staying for Riley and going with Edward. It had only been after Riley promised me to stay off the streets that I felt better about leaving. Riley refused to stay at my place in fear of someone finding out where I lived, so Edward offered his room, which was already paid through the weekend.

Earlier that day, I had called Riley and had him meet us Edward's hotel. Edward and I were there when he arrived, relatively clean and in good condition. Riley wandered around the hotel room, touching and exploring, probably eyeing everything that wasn't nailed down.

"What's with the looks I got in the lobby? I swear they wanted to eat me up," he said as he walked toward the bar.

"Not sure that's what they were thinking," I snorted, zipping up my suitcase.

He ignored my jab. "Hey, is this bar stocked?"

"Yes."

He continued through the main room before wandering down the hall and into the bathroom.

"HOLY SHIT!" Riley exclaimed. "How many fucking people are supposed to fit in this tub?"

We heard water turn off and on a few times and the toilet flush, then some giggling. Edward looked at me and I shrugged.

"How much do they charge you for one of these robes?" Riley asked Edward, standing in the bathroom doorway with a plush white robe wrapped around his thin body. "Fifty bucks?"

"More like two hundred twenty," Edward answered calmly as put on his jacket.

"Are you fucking serious? Is it made of fucking gold or something?"

"What about all these little shampoos and shit?"

"They're free."

"Sweet. I'm going to indulge in a bubble bath tonight. You do have bubble bath shit right? I want the stuff that smells good and makes all those white suds."

"There should be some on the ledge next to the tub."

"What about one of those pillow things I've seen in the movies?"

"On the counter, you will have to blow it up," Edward replied.

"This is the fucking life, boys. A bar, television, people to wait on you _and _a bubble bath." He walked down the hall, the robe hanging loosely open over his tee shirt and jeans, and investigated the remaining rooms, raising his eyebrow when he saw the size of the bed in the master suite.

"Damn, you two must have fun on that," he quipped.

"We do," Edward blushed as he piled our suitcases and bags by the door.

"This place is pretty nice. Not nearly as nice as the place I stay of course," Riley chuckled. "My view is nicer, lots of fresh air."

"Let me show you how to use room service," Edward offered.

Riley bounded out from the bedroom and plopped the couch. Edward sat next to him and explained the phone system. Like a willing student, Riley listened carefully.

"That's it, just order from the menu, confirm the room number and they will deliver it a little bit later."

"Whatever I want?"

"Well, within reason, yes. I am an important guest, so they will do specialty orders for me."

"Fucking cool. Do they have pizza?"

"Yes, but they're small, you might have to order two. Jasper and I went to the grocery store and stocked the kitchen with snacks and beer, soda and water. There's even some fruit in there."

I pulled out my wallet and handed Riley about two hundred dollars in tens and twenties. "For tips…no-"

"Pft, tips," Riley scoffed. "I'll just answer in this robe, and if I accidently forget to tie it..."

"Riley, people don't tip like that here," I sighed.

"Why the fuck not? Stuck up people could use a good look at prize dick. Might loosen them up a little." The poor hotel worker was bound to get an eyeful. "How did you get the time off work anyway?" he asked, looking up at me.

"I told Tanya I needed a weekend off for some personal business, she said okay. I'm off until Monday night."

"And you?"

"I always have weekends off, they will think I'm still in Seattle."

Except for Spencer. Against my advice, Edward had told Spencer what he was doing and he claimed that we had Spencer's support. I was more leery than Edward.

Riley leaned against on the couch, stretching his arms along the back of it. The position eased his tee shirt up and the delicious space between his shirt and jeans was showing. When Riley saw Edward's eyes drift downward, he smiled.

"So, boys, one for the road?" Riley asked, his body relaxed and looking rather needy.

"We need to get to the airport on time," I said as I checked my duffle bag one more time to make sure Teddy was in it. "Right, Edward?"

Edward licked his lips and then glanced at me longingly. "Yeah…airport…trip."

Rolling my eyes, I walked over to Edward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Baby, can you run the bags downstairs, I need to talk to Riley for a minute?"

Standing, then shifting his weight as his eyes remained on the brown dusting of hair above Riley's dirty jeans, he nodded slowly and then turned for the door. As soon as he left, I sat next to Riley.

"You going to be okay?"

"I can't believe you're locking me up here and not even giving me a farewell fuck. What kind of kidnapping is this?" he complained, ignoring my question.

"The kind of kidnapping where you will be safe for the weekend."

"And fucking bored senseless." Looking down the hallway, he leaned toward me. "Hey, does Edward have one of those magical drawers like yours?"

I grinned and shook my head. "No, but I left a few toys in his room on the dresser. There's lube there too."

"You know me too well, angel."

"I do, which is why I want you to promise me you _will not_ leave this hotel room."

Dropping his head onto the couch, he closed his eyes. "Jas, I'm not a kid, I can-"

"Take care of yourself, yeah, I know. Promise me, Rile," I demanded, taking his hand into mine. "Edward wants to be completely alone with me, so we agreed to turn off our phones for the entire weekend. That's what got us here to begin with. You won't be able to reach me, I need to know you're not going to leave this hotel."

"So, how about a quickie before he gets back?"

"He just went down stairs, Rile."

"It's a lot of flights."

"He took the elevator."

Riley raised an eyebrow and just when he was about to give up, I leaned forward and kissed him. Instantly, his hands were on me, one tangled in my hair, the other curving around my back to pull me even closer to him. When he ran his tongue along my bottom lip, he moaned and I was sure he tasted the remains of Edward on me. With little pleading, my lips parted slightly, enough for my tongue to dart out and flicker along his. His moan turned into a long groan and he began to push against me, wanting more than I could give him.

Neither of us heard the door open and close behind us, but we both heard Edward clear his throat.

Riley slowly broke the kiss, his reluctancy to give me up apparent as his lips returned to mine several times before he finally sat back. My hair was still twisted around his fingers.

He looked up at Edward unapologetically. "If you guys are leaving me alone all weekend, it's the least he could do."

There was a slight blush to Edward as I stood and held my hand out for Riley. He took it and followed Edward and me to the door.

"Promise me," I repeated firmly.

"I fucking promise," he sighed, frustrated.

Satisfied, I picked up my duffle and put the strap on my shoulder. When I looked back at Riley he was grinning at Edward, who was looking pleadingly at me.

"Fine, but make it quick."

"Thank you for the room, beautiful," Riley murmured just before his lips touched Edward's, tenderly at first, but he quickly deepened it. Edward moaned and I saw his hand fisting Riley's shirt. Reaching out, I tugged on Edward's arm.

"Okay, that's enough." They parted and Riley immediately hugged me, his head on my shoulder and my lips at his ear. "Be careful, Rile. Please."

"I will, angel," he mumbled before breaking free. "Go fuck his brains out, at least one of us should get lucky this weekend."

With one last peck to his forehead and ruffle of his long hair, Edward and I left the room, standing outside the door and waiting until we heard the deadbolt slide.

There was a deep voice speaking and Edward nudged me with his elbow, his hand still covering mind on the armrest between us.

"Did you hear that?"

"No, what?"

"We're going to be landing in a few minutes."

"Really?" I sat up straighter, looking out the window, seeing nothing but puffy clouds.

"We didn't even have time to join the mile high club," he whispered as the flight attendant walked by.

Smiling like a fucking school girl from excitement, I almost bounced in my seat. "Maybe on the flight back. Will it be cold there? Is the ocean the same? Are there mountains?" I rattled off the questions I had pestered him with since he had asked me to go, and like he did every other time, he answered them calmly.

"A little, but not too bad. Different ocean, but looks similar, less rough though. There are mountains but not where we're going."

Edward had given me few details on our location, all I knew was that it was a beach in New Hampshire.

The pilot came on and announced our final approach, instructing everyone to sit down and buckle up. Biting my lip, I took Edward's hand in mine and clutched it tightly until the wheels of the plane touched ground and we began taxiing to the terminal. With expert skill, Edward got off the plane and led me to the baggage claim, tugging on my hand the entire way. He weaved his way in and out of the crowds, knowing exactly where he was going.

"How many times have you been at this airport?"

"Logan? Too many to count," he shrugged as he stopped in front of where the bags were expected to come out.

We waited there, standing close to each other, but not touching. People around us were moving fast, impatient to get wherever they were going and I moved closer to Edward, my hand brushing his. Without looking at me, he slipped his fingers into mine and I smiled. Finally our bags came on the belt and Edward and I each grabbed our own. Then he was on the move again, moving us through the people until we were outside, and the chilly air hit me.

"Damn," I shivered. "Where are we?"

"Boston." Edward looked up and down the streets before finally spotting what he was looking for and pulling me along. We approached a limousine, long and black with a driver in a dark suit standing near the trunk.

"Mr. Cullen?"

Edward nodded and greeted him in his professional voice that I didn't get to hear often. The driver put our bags in the trunk while Edward ushered me into the back seat. It was huge, a black leather bench seat on one side with a bar, stereo, and television opposite it. The windows were tinted for privacy, and once we were inside, Edward immediately pulled me to him for a long kiss, not even stopping when the driver's voice came over the intercom telling us the expected travel time and estimated time of arrival. Breaking the kiss, Edward thanked him and then asked not to be disturbed until we were near our destination. He poured himself a shot of bourbon and then handed me a bottled water, but stopped me before I could drink.

"I want to make a toast to us, to being completely alone," he smiled, relaxed and free.

"Completely alone," I repeated, tapping his glass before drinking the water. I set my water down and took his glass from him, putting it on the bar before moving my hands to his shirt and quickly undoing the buttons. "Do you have any ideas on how we should spend the next ninety minutes?"

His eyes watched me as I parted his shirt and started on his pants. "Not at all," he gasped just as I palmed his cock.

"If you give me a few minutes, maybe I can come with something interesting."

"I'm sure you can," he groaned, moving his hand to my hair and holding my head to his crotch while I inhaled his scent and ran my nose along his covered cock. "Jesus, love…"

Glancing up at him through my hair, I smirked and pulled his underwear off his growing erection, licking my lips before I took him into my mouth.

"Oh fuck," his cried out, his hips bucking up toward me.

Edward writhing before me was definitely a good way to spend an hour and a half.

"**~~**"

The limo pulled away, leaving Edward and I standing on the gravel driveway in front of what had to have been the largest house I'd ever seen, although Peter's came close. It was painted a brilliant white and there were windows everywhere.

"Come on," Edward smiled at my dropped jaw and led me up the steps of the wraparound porch to the double front door. He pulled his keys out and unlocked the door before pushing it open with his foot and motioning me inside. I set my bags down and looked around.

The house was simply amazing.

"Wow."

It was about all I could manage as I took in the expansive interior. The floor was marble, as was the huge staircase in the middle. There were several doors lining the bright hallway that I couldn't even see the end of. Edward put the bags down while I wandered around the entry way. A photo on the wall near the bottom of the staircase caught my eye and I walked over to get a closer look. It was casual picture of a typical family, perhaps at a cookout or something. An attractive blond man had a pretty brunette by his side, but it was the boy in front of them, beaming at the camera, that I focused on. His bronze hair and green eyes matched those of the man that had moved behind me, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"That was taken when I was twelve at our neighbor's Fourth of July cookout."

"Edward," I glanced at him. "What is this place?"

"The Cullen family vacation home," he answered. "Well, one of them. There are actually six around the world, but this is the one we use most often. I spent a lot of summers here as a kid, some of my best memories are of my time here. I couldn't bring you to Chicago, but I can bring you here. This is just as important to me as Chicago is."

Reaching up, I ran a finger over little boy Edward.

"You were adorable. You're dad is kinda hot too."

Edward laughed behind me. "Thanks. The picture to the left is of Alice and me the year before."

During our time together, bits and pieces of Edward's life had come out. He had told me about his sister Alice, his years at a private prep school and his first experiences with a boy at the same school.

"Want a tour?" he asked.

Turning in his embrace, I nodded and he took my hand. Room after room, he guided me through the house, pointing out little things in each room, photos or pieces of furniture, attaching a memory to each one. How he skinned his knee when he tripped on a rug or hid behind the couch to scare Alice when she got home from a date, or the fishing hat his dad made him wear whenever they fished together. While the house was absolutely huge, it was filled with memoirs and cozy furniture, clearly a well loved place. He led me through the library and into the living room. There was a brick fireplace surrounded by some chairs and a couch, but what caught my attention was the large black piano in the corner by the window. Walking over to it, I ran my hand along the smooth finish.

"Yours?"

"Yes, my mother didn't want me to go the entire summer without playing, so she bought it for me to keep here for vacations."

"She must have liked hearing you play."

"Every day. She made me practice, but I secretly liked it." He hesitated, then asked something unexpected. "Why did you keep the piano?"

I knew he was referring to the rented piano still in my apartment. Even after not hearing from him for two weeks, I had kept it.

"I was hoping you would come home, and I wanted to keep it in case you did."

"Thank you for having faith in me."

"Always." I began to walk around the room, looking at the pictures on the mantel. Why isn't anyone here now?"

"It's off season. The house won't be opened up until late April, so we've got plenty of time," he winked. "Come on, one more room." I followed him into a bedroom, it was smaller than the others, but still larger than average. "This room where I used to stay. Alice always liked the upstairs bedrooms in the south wing, but I wanted to be down here."

"Why?"

"I'll show you." He led me to a sliding glass door, which he opened. We stepped out onto an empty deck, large enough for a table and a few chairs. The wood was worn and paint was peeling off the railing that I walked over to.

The dark blue Atlantic greeted us with roaring waves crashing over large rocks only a few hundred feet away. Each wave crested with into a white foam before slamming into the rocks and receding slowly, only to come back seemingly more forceful than the one before it.

"We're not in Kansas anymore," I murmured.

"It's low tide now but when it's high, the waves come up to those rocks right there," he said, pointing to some boulders close the deck. "Wait until you see it in the morning, it's breathtaking."

"It's amazing," I sighed, not taking my eyes from the ocean. In the distance I saw an island and several sailboats dotting the rough surf while a seagull squawked and glided on the wind. Edward stood next to me, his eyes scanning the horizon, probably recalling the many times he'd been there before.

"This is why I wanted to this room," he smiled, kissing my cheek. "Let me check a few things in the kitchen, make a list of some stuff we need and then we can run to the store?"

"Sure," I agreed, following him into the kitchen and watching while he checked the cupboards and refrigerator, writing items needed on a list. As soon as he was done, he grabbed his keys. "Ready?"

He led me through a few hallways and into a garage where there were three cars parked. "This one was always my favorite. It's old, but a classic," he grinned, opening the door to a small, shiny red sports car. "Get in."

I climbed into the passenger seat and Edward started it up then pressed a button.

"Holy shit," I yelped when the roof above us started to move, easing its way back toward the rear of the car. "What the fuck?"

"It's a convertible," he explained as he pressed another button and the large door behind us began to rise. My eyes were wide with panic and he covered my hand. "Hey, it's okay, just a garage door opener."

Taking a deep breath, I relaxed into the plush leather seats and then actually smiled as he backed out and then pulled down the driveway.

"This is the first time you've driven me anywhere," I told him as he turned onto the road.

"Someday I'll teach you how to drive."

He smiled before he put on a pair of sunglasses and my breath hitched at the sight. The sun glistened off his copper hair, highlighting every shade of red ever invented, the dark sunglasses rested against his pale skin and his jaw flexed as he concentrated on navigating the curvy road.

"Actually, I much prefer watching you drive," I teased and enjoyed the immediate blush that followed his sidelong glance.

The grocery store wasn't too far away, and Edward parked and turned the car off. We went through the store, picking out the items on his list and getting a few things we hadn't planned. When we were done, we checked out and then Edward drove us home. After unpacking the food and putting it away, he kissed my cheek.

"Want to take a walk before dinner?"

"Yeah," I nodded and took off my shoes.

We were both barefoot as we went down the stairs of the back porch stepped on the sand. With the exception of a few seagulls, the beach was completely empty. Edward took my hand, winding our fingers together as we walked to the water's edge. Our feet left imprints that disappeared as soon as we took our next step, the frigid water washing over our feet as it ebbed back out. We walked slowly, silently, as the sun began to lower over the horizon. Suddenly Edward stopped and bent over, picking up a small, flat rock. Smiling, he held it in his hand and then whipped it out toward the water and we watched it skim along the top a few times before sinking.

"No wonder you're so good at that, you had a lot of practice as a kid," I teased him, remembering him teaching me how to do the same thing on our first date. "Tell me about what it was like here with your family."

He squinted at me, hesitant to tell me happy memories of his childhood knowing mine had not been nearly the same.

"It's okay, I want to know what it was like," I encouraged. We kept walking, but his hand tightened its hold around mine.

"We came just about every summer for a least the month of July. Sometimes my mother, Alice and I stayed longer, even after my dad went back to Chicago. Alice and I spent a lot of our time sailing or swimming. Sometimes my father had business associates here for a few days, so there was usually some other kids to play with. There were parties or cookouts every night. In the summer, there is a staff of about fifteen here, maids, cooks, and landscapers. Oh, and the pool boy." Edward's blush gave him away.

"Pool boy?"

"Yeah, his name was Rico, he was in college when I was in high school. He had the body of a fucking god, tanned and sweaty. I can't tell you how many hours I spent watching him work the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. I swam more that summer than ever," he finished with a laugh.

"Tell me more."

"My father and I fished. We have a boat docked at the harbor about a mile up the coast and we went out a few times a week if he could get the time off. Never really caught anything, but it was some father-son bonding. Sometimes he would remind me of my legacy, of what was expected me, as if I didn't already know."

"That must have been hard. The pressure."

"I got used to it. He meant well. He has devoted his life to his company, and he just wants to leave it in good hands."

"But music is your passion, not pharmaceuticals."

"It doesn't matter," he replied, looking off into the distance.

I stopped walking, forcing him to stop with me. "It does matter, Edward. You should be doing something you love."

"Are you?" he returned quickly.

"No, but I didn't have your life, your options."

"I didn't have a choice. I was the firstborn son, this is what I am supposed to do. It's too late now anyway. I'm good at my job, and I even enjoy it sometimes. I get to see the world, meet all kinds of people, live a life of luxury." He started walking again, his hand still in mine. "It's your turn, tell me about your parents."

I sighed, my eyes trained on the sand and shells beneath my feet. "There's not much to tell. They were addicts."

It was his turn to stop me, almost yanking me to him, to face him. "Don't do that, Jasper. Don't shut me out because you're afraid of scaring me off. Don't you get it, I'm with you, I'm where I want to be. No matter what you tell me, I'm not going to run again."

"Tell me what you want hear," I said, exasperated.

"I want to know everything about you. Good, bad…all of it." Leaning in, his brushed his lips lightly along mine, taking my breath with him when he pulled away. Resting his forehead to mine, he curled his hand around my neck. "I'm not leaving you," he stressed softly.

I closed my eyes as the pull in my chest swelled painfully against my ribs. I could hear the roar of the waves and feel the heat of his body. I could see the love in his eyes.

Nodding slightly, I took a deep breath. "Can we sit?" I asked, my legs feeling numb.

"Sure." He led us to dry spot and then sat down, pulling me with him. Sitting next to him, I kept his hand in mine.

"They used drugs for as long as I could remember. I only have a few memories of them when they weren't high. My mama especially. I would wake up at night and find parties going on in the house, even strange people sleeping in my bed. My first memory is one of waking up one night because I had wet the bed. They were having a party and I found my mama passed out on the couch but I couldn't wake her up. When I cried, some guy came over and panicked when he saw her, but he got her to wake up."

"What had she overdosed on?"

"I don't know. They did pretty much whatever they could get. I grew up with needles, mirrors, bongs, bags of drugs…all of it around the house all the time. I would find shit in the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room."

"Jasper…"

"My dad worked, I don't know how he kept his job but he did. Not that it mattered, we never had any money, whatever he made went for drugs. They had gotten the house from my grandparents when they died, so it was paid for, or else I'm sure we would have been homeless. Hell, we didn't have electricity have the time."

"Did they abuse you?"

"No," I shook my head. "Never hit me or anything. In fact, they loved me, I know they did in their own way. They just didn't know how to take care of me. Simple stuff like feeding me and bathing me, and making sure I got to school slipped their minds. Watching The Wizard of Oz is the one happy memory I have." I smiled to myself, a warmth of Edward's love washing over me.

"The popcorn," he mumbled.

"It was one of the few times I ate. We didn't have much food, I lived off cereal and soup, usually right from the can. I used to steal food from the neighbors trash, and once I started school, I stole from them too. I would take clothes from the lost and found and money from teachers desks. I was pretty resourceful. Skinny, but resourceful."

"I don't know what to say," he sighed, lost.

"The worst was when I was five. I was playing when Mama was high and came into my room. She told me I was a superhero and tied a sheet around my neck as a cape. Then she opened my window."

"Jesus, no," he gasped before I even told him.

"She put me on the ledge, told me to spread my arms and I would fly. I believed her, so I lifted my arms and she kissed my cheek then pushed me."

"Oh, Jasper," his said, his voice catching in his throat.

"Turns out I couldn't fly after all. She'd lied to me. I broke my arm and my collarbone. She told the doctors I jumped, they never asked me."

"Is that how you ended up in the orphanage?"

"No, I was with my parents until I was eleven. The neighbors caught me stealing from their trash, they pretended they didn't know what I was doing, but I know it was them that called social services. DSS came with a cop the next day, saw the drugs on the table and told me to pack a bag. There were no foster homes available for a boy my age, so I went to the Home."

"What happened to your parents?"

"They were arrested and convicted, gave up their parental rights and signed me over to state custody. I haven't seen them since the day I was taken away. I don't know where they are now, if they're even alive."

"You didn't have any relatives to go to?"

"My grandparents are dead, my daddy had a brother that died when he was a teenager and my mom was an only child."

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"Nope, the Whitlock name dies with me."

We were silent for a few moments while Edward absorbed what I had told him. His body never moved from me, his hand never left mine. Actually, it was gripping mine tighter.

"You okay, baby?" I asked, interrupting him as he stared out at the ocean.

He nodded and gave me a small smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. You're the strongest person I've ever met, Jasper. I've never known anyone like you, who has survived so much."

"I didn't have much choice."

"You could have given up, you could have turned to drugs like they did, but you didn't."

"I couldn't, not after what I saw it do to them."

Pulling me to him, he laid us down on the sand, my body half on his as we kissed. It was with his lips that he assured me he was there to stay, that my past hadn't scared him off. The sun had set and the air was cooling off before we finally parted, our lips sweeping over each other one last time before he grinned up at me.

"You're hungry," he laughed.

"That wasn't my stomach," I lied just as my stomach growled again.

"Come on, let's go cook dinner," he said, pushing me off him and waiting for me to pull him to his feet. We brushed the sand off and headed back to the house.

Edward moved around the kitchen like a pro, filling pots with water and putting the lobsters in. He had me cut vegetables to grill and make the salad. Once the lobsters were cooking, he went outside and I followed him, wandering around the enormous backyard while he started the grill. There was a large covered pool surrounded by a stone patio and a small shed at the end.

"Normally the pool is open and the chairs are out," he called out to me as I walked around the patio.

Past the stone was an expansive grassy yard that led to the gate we had entered through. There were a few trees and bushes that lined the fences on all sides, and even without the attention of a landscaper, the yard was perfectly manicured. I could imagine little Edward running around, playing baseball or soccer or some other sport kids played. With a smile, I turned and headed back to Edward.

"Did you play sports?"

He looked at me, surprised but then nodded. "I played little league baseball for several years. I was pretty good, played on a few school teams but when it started taking up too much time, I had to quit. I swam and sailed a lot too."

"I always wanted to play baseball. We did it in gym class once and I was pretty good. They said I had good hand-eye coordination and decent arm. But there was no way I could ever play it."

"We'll play sometime," he promised. "These are almost done, want to check on the lobsters? I'll be right in."

I was staring at a pot of boiling water with two lobsters sitting in the bottom of it when Edward walked in with a plate of grilled vegetables. He laughed at the confused look on my face and took over for me. I set the table instead. Minutes later, there was lobster, salad, vegetables and beer spread before me. Picking up my fork, I poked the lobster's claw, wondering how the hell I was supposed to each such a hard shell.

"It's staring at me," I said worriedly, looking at its little, black eyes.

"It's dead, love."

Sighing, I set my fork down and lifted the claw, the rest of its body hanging from it. Edward grabbed a tool from the table, put it around the claw of his lobster and pressed down. There was a loud crack as the claw split half. Setting my lobster back down, I grabbed the tool, and imitating his motions, I cracked the claw on my lobster. When I saw the fleshy, pink meat inside, I grinned.

"Oh, I get it," I exclaimed.

"Have you had lobster before?"

"Umm, no."

"There's a technique to eating them, let me show you."

Edward proceeded to show me to crack the shell in the right spots to make it easy to peel off, how to get the meat from the tail and warned me to not eat the green string in the middle. He dipped his bites in the melted butter, so I did the same.

"Fuck, this is good," I moaned as the tender meat almost melted in my mouth. "Seems like a lot of work though. How did you know how to do this?"

"You can't live here in the summer and not know how to eat a lobster. It's like tying your shoes, you just grow up knowing."

The entire dinner was perfect, everything tasted better than anything I'd ever had before, even the beer, which was a local brewery. Edward fed me bites of his lobster, wiping the butter from my chin as it dribbled down, and I shared my salad with him. We laughed over stories he told me.

"So I'm trying like hell to reel this fish in, the thing must have been huge because it's taking all my strength. My dad was there, but he let me do it myself. Inch by inch, I pull it in. My heart is fucking racing because I've think I caught Jaws," he paused, his face softening. "Jaws was a movie about a great white shark that terrorized a beach in Massachusetts."

"Not real though, right?" I asked nervously, glancing out the window the ocean.

"No, not real. Anyway, I'm thinking I've got the catch of the year. My dad is encouraging me, telling me what to do and how to keep it on the line. I'm telling him it must be huge, six feet and two hundred pounds. Finally, I'm able to pull it up out of the water."

"What was it?" I asked, almost on the edge of my seat as I imagined a monster fish trying to pull my Edward into the ocean.

"Oh, it was a fish."

"How big?"

"About six inches," he said, the laugher rolling from him as he held up his hands about the size of the fish. "The line had gotten caught under our boat or something and made it really hard to pull up, but it was just your basic trout."

I tried to suppress the laughter, but it was useless and soon I was holding my stomach as it clenched painfully from the laughter.

"Jaws," I giggled. "Your new nickname."

"Go to hell," he teased playfully. Once my laughter had died down, he spoke again. "Let's clean up, I want to show you something."

The table was cleared, dishes in the sink and counters wiped, in minutes and Edward grabbed a sweater from his bag.

"You might want one too, it might be chilly."

Following his advice, I grabbed a sweatshirt from my duffle bag and took Teddy out, setting him on the bed. Edward was at the door holding a heavy blanket. We headed through the kitchen to the porch and down the steps.

"When I was here in the summer, sometimes I wanted to be alone."

"Because you were thinking about Rico and wanted to jerk off?"

"That too," he chuckled. "But mostly just to think. Sometimes I would bring a book and read, other times just stare out at the ocean and dream."

Night had fallen, the darkness so thick I could barely see the ocean, but I could hear the waves crashing nearby. The only light was the dim glow of his house and the moon hanging high in the sky.

"Tide's coming in," Edward said as he led me down the beach. We weren't too far from the steps when we came up to wall of rocks. "It's a seawall of sorts, they used the boulders to shore up the land and keep it from eroding."

When he started to climb on them, I stopped. "Where are you going?"

"You'll see, come on."

Carefully, I followed him, staying close enough to see what rocks he stepped on. He moved quickly, knowledgably, along the huge pieces of granite. Finally, he stopped about half way up and turned to watch me. Holding out his hand, he pulled me up to the large flat rock where he was, immediately wrapping his arms around me. Turning me in his embrace, we both faced the ocean, and I leaned back into his weight.

"This is it, this is my place," he said quietly, proudly.

I looked down at the rock, and then out over the ocean. It had crept up during dinner and was much closer to us, the waves seemed larger as they crested, not traveling back out nearly as far before they were regrouping and throwing another one at us.

"I call it my whale rock because when I was a kid, I thought it looked like a whale. In the daylight, you can see this crack that looks like a mouth and a dark spot that looks like an eye. When I needed a break, I came here, it was my escape where nothing could hurt me. I spent so many hours here daydreaming."

"About what?" I asked, my hands on his at my waist. Gathering his fingers into mine, I tilted my head to look at him.

"Finding someone like you, someone that would accept me, that I could be myself with."

"You found him," I murmured before kissing him lightly.

"I did," he said against my lips, "and he's perfect."

"I'm far from perfect, Edward."

"You are to me."

"Am I as sexy as the boy you imagined?"

"Better," he confirmed. "Let's sit."

Releasing me, he sat down, his back up against the rock behind him, and parted his legs for me to sit between them. I did, settling back into his chest. Edward unfolded the blanket and covered us both with it, then took my hands under it, holding them on his thighs.

"Did you ever daydream about sex when you sat here?"

"All the fucking time, but it was years before I had it."

"How old were you?"

"I was a freshman in college when I met a guy named Demetri."

"Demetri?" I laughed.

"Yes, he was tall, dark, handsome, and foreign. Smart too, he was a med student. He was sweet, took his time with me. We fooled around for a few months with blowjobs and fingers and then right before spring break, he asked if I trusted him, and when I said yes, he took my virginity."

"Did it hurt?"

"Hell, yes. Burned like a bitch, but it felt good at the same time. He was very gentle and went slowly. He took my mind off the pain by stroking and kissing me."

"Was he your boyfriend?"

"No, we didn't date, we just had sex. He taught me positions, how to bring him to orgasm by fingering him. I learned what I liked and didn't like with him."

"Did you ever top him?"

"No, the only time I've ever topped was…"

"Spencer," I supplied and felt him nod.

"How about you?"

"What?"

"Tell me about when you lost your virginity? Was it to some hot cowboy?" he joked.

"Not quite," I sighed, and for only the second time in my life I debated on telling someone what had happened to me.

Riley knew, he'd forced it out of me after waking up many times to my screams and thrashing around next to him. One night, he had woken me from a dream with his arms around me and his mouth at my ear, telling me it was okay, I was safe. As I had gradually relaxed, he asked me what the nightmares were from, what horrors were haunting me in my sleep. While we had lain shivering on the cold cement floor, I told him everything, my parents, the Home, the raping. He had listened without a word, then kissed the back of my neck and held me close in acceptance.

When I had told Riley, I risked losing my best friend, but by telling Edward, I was risking my heart, my future.

But I didn't want to be a fragment of Edward's life, someone he looked back on like Masen or Demetri. I wanted to be by his side for a long time, possibly forever, if there was such a thing. I wanted to share the memories _with_ him, not be one, and it was time to let him know that. It was time to share something so dark inside me that I had only told one other person. I hoped Edward was right, and that nothing could hurt him on his rock, including me.

"_No matter what you tell me, I'm not going to run again."_

"_I'm not leaving you."_

"_I want to know everything about you. Good, bad…all of it." _

"Edward, I know you said it before, but I need you to hear it again," I murmured.

Somehow he understood exactly what I was referring to and his hold around me tightened. Putting his lips at my ear, his softly said, "I'm not leaving you. I won't run again, no matter what."

It was time to take the leap of faith, and trust that he really meant it.

There in the blanket of darkness wrapped up in the safety of my lover's embrace as I watched the moonlight dance along the top of the water, I told him.

"When I was twelve, I was raped by another boy in the orphanage," I whispered. My body tensed, my eyes never leaving the vast sparkling water in front of me.

He was silent behind me, but I felt his warm breath on my cheek and his arms clench uncomfortably around me. I continued when I felt his kiss on my neck.

"I don't know what he saw in me, I was scrawny and probably malnourished. He claimed he liked my hair and my lips. He was a few years older than me and much bigger. It started shortly after I arrived with him forcing me to give him bjs in the bathroom, but as soon as I turned twelve he was fucking me at night. No lube, no condoms, just fucking."

As I heard each word aloud, I felt a lighter, more relaxed, and I sank into his body, letting him support me completely, physically and emotionally.

"It went on for about three years, probably a few times a week. Usually at night, but sometimes he'd drag me into the bathroom during the day for a quick bj. One time during Sunday service, he fucked me in front of all his friends to show me off. They all jerked off on me while he fucked me. I didn't bother to fight him, he would just beat the shit out of me and then fuck me anyway. It was just easier to let him do it."

Another kiss to my cheek as his nose nuzzled my loose waves.

"I was actually one of the lucky ones. Some kids were fucked by a more than one kid, but Ian liked me so much he kept me to himself and wouldn't let anyone else touch me. It wasn't that they were all gay, I mean some were, but most just wanted to be in control and they were horny as hell. They didn't care how they got off, as long as they did. He used to tell me how lucky I was that he liked my ass so much. He would tell me that I was a whore and no one would ever want me when he was through with me because I would be used. I remember laying there with him on top of me, I could smell his breath and body odor and I could hear the kid in the bed next to me jerking off to me being raped. He would watch it happen and the next day, he would never say a word to me. Sometimes I would pretend it didn't happen, but I would wake up with blood on the sheets, or his dried cum on my legs, and I knew it had. When he was on me, my mind would just go someplace else separate from my body. I got sick of crying myself to sleep, so I turned my mind off when it happened. It meant nothing to me, it was just a fuck. If lay there, he would thrust, grunt, come and then leave. I learned that if I lifted my hips just right, or made the right noise, he would come faster. There were other little things too, like I didn't bother wearing underwear because he would just ruin it, and I kept a towel under my mattress to clean up with after so didn't have to feel his cum on me all night."

My voice was quiet, barely qualifying as a whisper. I knew I was crying, I felt the tears as they left my eyes and traveled down my cheeks, but I didn't hide or try to stop them.

"It was no use telling anyone, they kids doing it would just deny it anyway, and then beat the one that told on them. Sometimes I wondered if the adults knew and just let it happen. They were just there to collect a paycheck, they didn't give a shit about us."

Soft, cool lips caressed my temple before leaving a kiss there.

"Right before I turned fifteen, I had a growth spurt and was almost as big as Ian. I thought he was done with me, that he wouldn't want me anymore, and I was right. One day this boy arrived, I think he was thirteen but he was small for his age, and as he walked into the main room, Ian watched him. The kid had shaggy blonde hair and green eyes. I watched Ian as he stared at the kid, practically ready to jump him right then. It'd been a few weeks since he'd fucked me."

Next was going to be the hardest part, admitting when the victim was no longer a victim.

"Ian goes over to the kid, starts talking to him and touching his hair and face. I swear he was fucking drooling. The poor kid was all nervous and shit, the Home was pretty fucking intimidating to the new kids. Ian finally walks off and I watch the kid as he sat on the end of the one of the couches and clung to his Teddy bear. For almost three years I had been taken against my will. I hated every second of my life there and was counting the days until I was eighteen and could get the fuck out. I didn't care about anyone else there, the kids that had ignored it and watched, the ones that were victims like me, none of them. But as I stood there and looked at that kid, I realized he was me three years before, innocent, naïve, ripe for the taking. I couldn't do it, Edward. I couldn't let him suffer the same fate I had, not when I could stop it, or at least delay it. That night, I knew Ian was going to go to the kid, so before he could, I went to him. I seduced him. I talked dirty, I writhed, I pleaded for his cock until he gave it to me. I thought if I could keep his attention on me until he left, the kid might have a chance."

Finally, I closed my eyes, squeezing the remainder of the tears from them. Edward's hold on me had never loosened, his fingers had never stopped stroking mine, his breaths in my ear never quickened or got heavy. He had remained calm and steady.

"Ian left about eight months later, and he had never laid a hand on the new kid. For eight months, I willingly went to Ian's bed, or invited him to mine, so that some kid I didn't even know, that I cared less about, didn't have to suffer through what I had. After Ian was gone, I watched out for the kid, and when I saw someone moving in on him, I let them know he was mine even though I never touched him. Because I'd been Ian's bitch, and Ian had been respected, they respected me. When I left a few years later, the kid hadn't been touched by anyone. Seven years I was there, three of them I spent being raped, the other four I spent trying forget the first three."

Opening my eyes, I sighed into his heat behind me. The blanket was thick and easily kept us protected from the spray of the water and the chilly night air. Turning to the side, I looked at Edward for the first time since I had begun my story and I saw the tears rolling down his face. Releasing his hand, I reached up to his cheek and wiped the tears with my fingers before brushing my lips over his.

"It's okay, baby," I murmured. "It's okay."

He tried to smile, but ended up failing. "I had perfect childhood and yours was nothing but suffering."

"I survived. I'm here."

"I just can't believe what you've gone through. The life you led. Mine was so sheltered, so different," he said with a tremble to his voice.

"I went through it all so it could lead me here to you, baby," I assured him. "I have nightmares about what happened, I have them when I'm alone and when I'm with other people, but I've never had one when I'm with you. You keep me safe from them." Kissing him again, I tasted the salt of his tears. "It was worth it, Edward. Every second of my life was worth it if it meant finding you."

Quivering lips smiled and he shook his head a little as our foreheads touched. Gazing into his eyes, I looked into those green windows, knowing they were open just for me. His soul had penetrated any walls I had ever built around me and I knew that with him, they had never existed. Since the day I had walked into his hotel room, my heart had been his as much as my body had. With him, I was lifted to places I had never known, with him I had discovered emotions besides anger, with him I had discovered what it felt like to love someone.

"I love you, Jasper," he whispered reverently into my ear, "with everything that I am, I love you."

I might have gasped, I might have smiled or even cried, but I know I felt it, pure and honest and full, as it floated around us in the misty air.

I had told him about my parents and their drugs, I had told him about being a hooker and homeless, and finally about being raped. He knew the truth, all of it, and not only was he still there, he loved me.

It was time to tell him the last thing I had been holding back, the most important words I'd ever said to anyone.

"I love you too, Edward," I breathed with joy and relief and love.

The words were barely louder than the rushing water colliding against the rocks, but the grin on his face told me he had heard me. Even in the dark, I could see his eyes brighten, the moonlight catching the different shades of green. The look on his face was almost one of surprise, as if he had never expected to hear those words, or at least not from me.

It was as if the dream he'd had as a boy on that very rock was finally coming true.

He had found love, discovered it, and had let it envelope him in every way.

Just like I had.

We sat like that, me in his embrace, staring at each other. Fingertips grazed cheeks and pushed hair back, eyes blinked away tears of happiness and lips smiled before pressing together for the first of many kisses. They were tender and light until we couldn't stand it anymore, then to the sound of the approaching tide, the kiss deepened. Tongues traced lips before plunging into mouths seeking the other. I could taste butter and beer mixed with his flavor, and I moaned. Turning more in his arms, I angled my head and let him control the kiss, my body shuddering when he ran his hand up my side to cup my neck for support when he leaned into me.

I had kissed Edward countless times, each and every time, no matter how light or brief, my heart would race. That kiss was no different, my heart raced and skipped in my chest, the swelling against my ribs never easing, and I knew it would never lessen. For as long as Edward was in my arms, my heart would ache in a pleasurable way. The pull didn't remain only in my heart, it had traveled to every part of me, from my toes to my fingers, they all needed him.

A huge wave crashed against the rocks below us, spraying salt water at us. My fingers tangled with his damp hair and his gripped the hem of my sweatshirt before letting it go and sneaking under it to touch my skin. He smiled into the kiss when I trembled under his touch. Breaking the kiss, he pulled away, brushing the backs of his fingers down my cheek, and just gazed at me.

Just gazed.

I had never felt more vulnerable, exposed and raw as I did then. I had also never felt safer, or surer that I was in the place with the right person. I was thousand miles from where I had been born and grew up, and three thousand miles from where I lived, but for the first time ever, I was really home.

"Is this over the rainbow?" I whispered softly to him.

Kissing my temple, he sighed happily. "No, Jasper, it's love."

"Love," I repeated.

He nodded and put his head against mine. We sat and looked out over the ocean, the vast blackness unleashed its power every few minutes when the waves rolled in. When the dampness had soaked through the blanket and my sweatshirt, I shivered, but I didn't want to leave. I wasn't afraid that the love would be lost when we left, I knew what we felt was real and going to be with us both forever, but sitting there with him, completely alone with nothing but the ocean was one of the most peaceful moments of my life.

"Come on," he encouraged, "it's getting cold."

Taking the blanket with me, I stood and helped Edward up. I let him lead us down the rocks, stepping exactly where he stepped and avoiding the rocks he did. At the bottom, he waited for me and slung his arm around my shoulders as we headed back toward the steps leading up to his house.

"Did you ever come out here at night as a kid?"

"Sometimes."

"Were you scared?"

"Sometimes. I wasn't scared tonight though."

"Me either," I said quietly.

We both knew we weren't talking about the darkness or the ocean or slipping on the wet rocks.

Once we were inside the house, and realized just how soaked we were, Edward suggested a hot shower to thaw out. Before he had even finished saying the words, I was taking my clothes off and walking toward the bathroom in his room. I started the water and then turned to Edward, smiling when I saw him tugging his jeans down. We entered the steam filled stall and moved under the spray.

"Feels good," he said as the water ran down his head and back.

Stepping close to him, I joined him under the showerhead. We kissed and rubbed and washed and rinsed until our skin was red from the heat. Edward got out first and handed me a fluffy towel, watching me dry off with lusty eyes. As soon as I was done, he grabbed my hand and took me to bed. Folding back the down blanket, he climbed in, rolled onto his side and waited for me. I moved Teddy to the table and then got in next to Edward, pressing myself against him and winding a leg between his. Our cocks smashed together, twitching and jerking as we kissed. When we parted, I leaned back a bit to look at him.

"Have you ever been in love before?" I asked quietly.

"No," he admitted, "you're my first."

"You're mine too. I never thought I ever find love. I didn't even know what it was until you," I replied softly.

"I promise to love you always, Jasper. I'm never going to leave you until my life is done," he vowed.

Smiling, I kissed him again, languidly and lazily with swollen lips and a velvet tongue.

"Mmm, taste so good," I mumbled, my eyes drifting closed no matter how hard I fought to keep them open.

"Thank you for telling me, for trusting me, Jasper."

"Thank you for listening." I nestled into his body, urging him to hold me tighter to keep those demons at bay while I slept.

I felt guilty for craving sleep after all that had happened, but my body quickly fell into a relaxed state. Someplace in the back of my mind, I knew that saying I love you was usually followed by lovemaking, but my body refused. I hoped Edward wasn't mad. Forcing my eyes open, I saw his were closed, his jaw was slack and his breaths had evened out.

He was as exhausted as I was.

"I love you," I whispered into the heat of his neck.

"I love you too," he sighed. "Night, my love."

"Night, baby."

And for the first time in my life, I fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved.

Of the man that loved me.

I had found somewhere over the rainbow.

"**~~**"

Thank you for reading~

So there you have it, the big moment for the boys…it was simple and understated, perfect for Jasper. He doesn't need grand gestures, just Edward and an ocean to find his somewhere over the rainbow.

The whale rock really exists. It used to be my escape when I stayed at my grandparents in Belfast, Maine. I swear it looked just like a whale coming out of from the seawall. I spent many hours there looking out at the water. The mansion also exists on Rye Beach, NH. It's where some of the richest people in the country have summer homes, including the Rockefellers.

M&A was nominated for a GLA for "Best Group Sex" (R/J/E DP chapter), go view all the entries and vote for your favorite here http:/www DOT goldenlemonawards DOT com/

Big Gay Story is posted, details can be found here: http:/www DOT fanfiction DOT net/~theslashtastics

So…need to vent? Rant? Yell at me? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter theslashawards


	28. One Fine Day

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Here is part two of their weekend together. I had intended them to be one chapter, but decided that Edward's experiences need to stand on their down, thus this chapter, like the last, is a bit shorter than usual.

Thank you to OftheDamned for her beta on this chapter.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

The warm body next to me smelled of fresh air and salty brine. Pushing the silky hair aside, my lips found the back of his neck and I placed a kiss there. At some point during the night, he must have turned because his ass was now pressed against my cock. My arm under his shoulder was numb, pins and needles pricking at the nerves when I moved it to hold him even closer.

_I love you too, Edward._

He loved me.

_Jasper_ loved_ me_.

Perhaps it was something I had suspected for awhile, the way he looked at me and touched me like I was the most important thing in the world, but after the phone call, I had doubted every word and touch that had ever passed between us. I shouldn't have, because he had never stopped loving me. Even when he was in Texas, even when he was calling someone else baby and begging for their cock, his heart had been mine.

I just hadn't known it.

Sitting with Jasper on the rock, sharing that place with him, had been something I had dreamed of since I was a teenager. I had spent so many hours staring out the vast ocean, wondering if someone like me would ever find love, what he would be like and look like. The image of my lover always changed, morphing from a dark skinned brunette to a blond god and back again, but the look of devotion in his eyes never changed. My imagined love spoke words of lifelong love as they kissed and worshipped me. Usually these daydreams ended with me taking myself into my hand and jerking off to my fantasy lover.

While I sat there with Jasper, holding him, I realized that no matter how long I kept the words to myself, afraid that saying them aloud made them too real, it wouldn't change the fact that I loved him, and always would. I had fought the feeling, denying it every time it had risen in me, insisting I needed to focus on work, that I couldn't fall in love with an escort, but by the time I was telling myself those lies, it was too late.

I was already in love with him.

Then it became a game of whether or not to tell Jasper, of wondering if he felt the same way. In fact, after the phone call I was certain he had never felt anything for me, much less love. It wasn't until he left my hotel that morning with tears on his face that I realized without a doubt that he loved me. When I had asked him to go away with me, it wasn't some grand plan to confess my feelings, although I was resigned to them by then. I had wanted to show Jasper what we could be like, just him and I alone. I wanted to show him the possibilities of us, of a future with me. Riley had assured me that if I was competing against another, I was winning, and I had hoped he was right.

After last night, I knew he was right.

Jasper was lightly snoring and I couldn't help but grin and bury my nose in his soft curls. I wanted to let him sleep, hold him for as long as I could before the real world invaded the cocoon I had temporarily built for us. He slept peacefully, occasionally sighing or even smiling as the sun rose over the Atlantic outside, sending light wafting through the gauzy curtains. There had been no nightmares he had warned me about. Somehow, just by holding him, I kept his demons at bay.

We hadn't even made love before falling asleep, and for some reason that thought warmed me. We had confessed our love, then he climbed into my arms and settled against me in the most familiar and intimate way, so much more intimate than having sex. It was the intimacy of forever, of a couple long together. He had given me his heart to go along with all the nights I had already had his body.

Part of me wanted to wake him. I had a sudden yearning to know everything about him, from the most mundane facts like his favorite color to the most complex, like how he survived being raped for three years. When he told me about what had happened to him, what he had survived, I had been tempted to ask questions, it was my nature. Then I wanted to do everything humanly possible to fix it, to make it right, to take all the pain and suffering away.

Then I just wanted to listen and be there for him.

Telling him I loved him after all he had confessed to me seemed like the most natural thing in the world. It wasn't contrived or planned, it was effortless and honest and simple. Since we had gotten back together, I had debated on telling him how I felt, but our bond was so fragile, too new, and I had thought it might scare him away. Then he opened up to me, told me the darkest thing in his life, trusted me with his past, and he deserved the same in return. He deserved to know the truth.

When he returned the words, when I saw it confirmed in his eyes, it made me the happiest I had ever been in my entire life.

Jasper made me happy, he made me feel alive and worthy…and now, loved.

Before Jasper, I had been a solitary creature. I lived alone, I ate alone, and I spent my nights in bed alone. I knew everyone's name only because I was required to, I wined and dined with some of the richest and most powerful people in the country, and yet, I was completely alone. It was something I had grown accustomed to, it was second nature to ask Bella to be my date to the functions I was required to attend. It was easy for me to go out to dinner by myself, and spend the weekend in my apartment without talking to a single person that wasn't work related.

Now…now I couldn't even breathe without Jasper by my side.

Our lives couldn't have been more different, one of luxury and always having everything, the other of neglect and never having enough. Maybe Jasper was right, maybe we had both led our lives, gone through everything only so we would end up in each other's arms. I wasn't sure I wanted to give fate that much credit, but the boy lying in my embrace was proof that something more powerful than us was at work. How else would a rich, closeted businessman from Chicago meet and fall in love with a streetwise hooker from Seattle.

Suddenly there were fingers stroking my forearm that lay over his waist.

"You awake?" I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Mmmm…maybe. Is this a dream?"

"Come true," I smiled.

"Then if I turn around I will see a beautiful copper-haired man that loves me?"

"You will."

Loosening my arm, I let him turn over and face me. If possible, he looked even more gorgeous than he had the night before.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Want to go for a walk? I want to see the beach during sunrise," he asked.

"Sure. Then we can get breakfast, and after that I want to take you someplace."

"Where?"

"You'll see."

He reached above him with his arms and his leg muscles lengthened and tightened as he stretched them out before curling back into me and purring when I carded my fingers through his hair.

"We should get up," he suggested.

"Yep."

We didn't move.

I wasn't sure how long we lay there, occasionally kissing, even thrusting against each other a bit, but the motions were unhurried and lazy. By the time we finally slipped out of bed, the sun had been up for a few hours and the seagulls were already calling out as they fought for their food. Jasper dressed in a tee shirt and jeans and I did the same, grabbing a sweater before we brushed our teeth and headed for the beach. Barefoot, we stepped onto the cold sand. The sun's rays were quickly warming up the day, but a slight early morning chill still hung in the air.

The sand squished between my almost numb toes as I shuffled along the ocean's edge. Next to me, Jasper bent over and picked up a rock, holding it out to me with a grin for inspection. When I nodded my approval, he lifted his arm behind him and whipped it forward, sending the rock skimming over the glassy water top. The waves ebbed over our bare feet as we both watched the rock's progress. Laughing, Jasper tugged my hand before breaking into a run. Pulling me along, he sprinted through the waves, childishly splashing frigid water up onto our jeans. When he stopped to catch his breath, he pulled me into a hug and kissed me deeply. I could taste the salt on his lips and feel his sun-warmed skin under my hands.

It was perfect.

Leaning away from me, he studied my expression, my smile and bliss before resting his forehead to mine.

"I love you," he murmured for no one else but me.

Fisting his spirals, I said the words I'd waited my life to say so freely.

"I love you, too."

Quickly, he let me go and was running down the beach again, forcing me to break into a sprint to catch up with him. Once he was within my reach, I jumped, tackling him to the ground in a fit of laughter and sand. He tried to fight me off, but I lay on top of him, pinning him to the ground and holding his hands above his head. Grinning, he looked up at me.

"Oh, I'm scared," he joked. I was sure he could free himself, but instead of trying, he circled his hips under me.

I gave in to the curious side of me and tilted my head. "When is your birthday?"

He stilled under me and bit his lip. "Um, I'm not sure of the exact date."

My heart broke for him all over again.

"I know it's in May. Near the middle I think. At least, that's what the Home told me. That's when they gave me my money and sent me on my way."

"But you didn't go there until you were eleven, didn't you celebrate it before that?"

Had he not had any semblance of a normal childhood?

"Not that I remember. I never got any presents or anything. I think my teachers made the kids in my class sing to me though."

"Cake?"

"No," he replied, looking slightly confused at the question.

I sighed, the urge to protect him from anything bad ever happening to him again overwhelmed me. What he'd already survived was more than anyone should have to suffer through. I couldn't take it away, there was nothing I could do about his past, but I could make his future better. I could give him his birthday.

"We should pick a day for your birthday and celebrate it. Any day you want."

He started to laugh, then stopped when he realized I was serious. The idea quickly settled in his mind, and he smiled mischievously.

"Any day?"

"Yes."

"Does it have to be in May?"

"Nope, any day you want."

"Then I want today to be my birthday. May's not that far away, so what if it's a couple months off."

"You want March thirtieth as your birthday?" I asked, suddenly wondering what I could do on such short notice to make it special for him.

"Yes, today is my birthday," he confirmed.

"Happy birthday, love," I mumbled before leaning down and kissing him.

We made out on the sand, the ocean quiet behind us, the rough surf from the night before having passed on. It wasn't long before the kisses had deepened and my hips were gently thrusting into his in small circles as his hands crawled under my sweater up my back.

"God, I fucking love it when you don't shave," he moaned when I dragged my cheek along his. I felt his cock growing under his jeans as it rubbed along mine and I broke the kiss.

"We should go get breakfast."

"Mmm, we should," he muttered before pulling my lips back to him flesh. "Just how private is this beach?"

Chuckling, I removed my lips from his neck and smiled down at him. "Trust me, you don't want to make love in the sand. It gets _everywhere_."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"Maybe," I winked before pushing up. "You're going to need your strength, so food now, sex later."

"Promise?"

"Definitely."

We headed back to the house, brushing the sand off our clothes as we went. Inside, we put on our sneakers, I grabbed my wallet and we got into the Porsche. I took Jasper to breakfast at a cozy little diner in the center of town. We sat in a booth by the window, holding hands over the laminated red and white checkered tabletop and watching the people walk by. The sunlight bounced off Jasper's hair, giving him a warm glow, made even brighter when he smiled at me. The waitress took our order of coffee, juice and waffles before sauntering off, giving Jasper a longing look before she disappeared behind the black swinging doors.

"Someone thinks you're hot," I grinned and he shrugged.

"Can't blame her."

"No, I can't." My eyes couldn't leave his and when they did, they fell to his lips, and then down his neck to wear his shirt was unbuttoned. Swallowing, I watched his pulse beat and could almost taste his flesh on my tongue. When my eyes worked their back up and I realized had been caught staring at him, I cleared my throat. "So, what do you want for your birthday?"

"What do you mean?"

"For a present, anything you want."

His brows furrowed for a few seconds, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Edward, I already have everything I want. Here, with you," he said sincerely. I actually blushed just as the waitress returned with our juice and more coffee. Her eyes glanced at our clasped hands on the table and I swear she sighed before telling Jasper our food would be out shortly.

"Me too," I replied before picking up my orange juice. Jasper picked up his mug of coffee and the sunlight glimmered off the metal of his watch. He hadn't taken it off once.

"I wear it all the time," he said, noticing my glance at his wrist. Looking at him, I smiled. "So where are you taking me?"

"I wanted to take you sailing, but the boat is dry docked until April." I paused and then explained. "Dry docking is when they take the boats out of the water and store them inside for the winter. But I promise I will take you sailing next time."

His eyes widened. "There will be a next time?"

"There will be many," I promised. "So instead I'm going to take you someplace else. I think you'll like it."

"Where?"

"You'll see." I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. My curiosity peaked as I watched him. There was no way I was going to learn everything about Jasper in a weekend, but I wanted to fill in some of the blanks, some of the basics. "What's your favorite color?"

"Green. Emerald green," he replied without any hesitation or thought. Blushing, I dropped my eyes to the table and our joined hands, wondering how I had gone so long, so many years, without his touch, without his hand in mine. "Yours?"

"Blue, like the Atlantic."

It was sappy, it was girlish, but I didn't give a fuck. Sometimes he made me so giddy I wanted to dance and yell to everyone that he was mine.

His cheeks were still pink when our waitress returned with our waffles and sausage and we began to eat. Jasper asked me a few questions about the town and sailing and by the time I had put my fork down, I didn't think there wasn't a minute of my life he didn't know. It was hard not to tell him everything in great detail when he sat across from me with a smile on his face and love in his eyes. The questions rolled off his tongue, and he listened intently to every word I said. It was as if no one around us existed. We had been sucked into a world where we were alone, and I wanted to do just about anything to keep us there. When we were done I paid the bill and left a tip for the waitress as we stood to leave. We walked to the car, got in and then I looked at him.

"Ready?"

"For anything," he laughed.

Wiggling my eyebrows at him, I pulled out of the space and headed for the coastline. We buzzed along the road, the Porsche hugging the curves as we headed north into the next town. A few minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of a big complex and Jasper looked around, trying to figure out where we were.

"Come on," I said, getting out of the car. Jasper followed me inside where we stopped at a counter. "We'd like an hour in the cages and thirty minutes in a pitching tunnel." I handed the teenager behind the counter my cash.

"Helmets are on the shelves next to the cages, bats in the bin. The balls for pitching are in the bucket outside the net. If you need gloves, there are some on a shelf above the bucket. You're in cage four."

"Thanks," I smiled and then headed down the hall.

"Cages?" Jasper chuckled. "Where are you taking me, baby? I'm not dressed in enough leather for cages."

"Not those kind of cages," I said, stopping and pointing the row of netted rectangles held up by metal pipes. "These kind. Try this on."

I handed him a helmet. Confused, he took it and shook his hair back before putting it on. I reached up and moved his head, making sure the helmet wasn't too loose. Then I looked through the bats for one his size. Jasper was tall with long arms, but he was lean. I picked a middle weight bat for him and then held the netting up, motioning him inside onto the green Astroturf.

"What is this?"

"It's a batting cage. Baseball players use it for practice. That machine down there pitches the ball and you hit it. The net keeps it inside."

"Edward, I haven't held a bat since I was ten."

"Are you a lefty or righty?" I asked, ignoring his worry.

"Excuse me?"

"Not that," I smirked.

"Right."

"Here, I'll show you." I stepped behind him, pressing my body close to his and wrapping my arms around his. I put a hand on his hip and turned him just right before having him bend forward a bit. I felt his body tense and his breath quicken from our position. "These lines below you are the batter's box, that's home plate right there in the center, the ball will be pitched right over the middle of it. You want to make sure your feet are on this line. Put your hands here and here, making sure you knuckles line up, and then hold it about here and when you're ready, swing." I adjusted his hands, making sure they were spaced the correct distance apart and the bat sat over his shoulder at the right height.

"Can we practice first?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Sure." I held the bat with him, positioning us before swinging the bat forward. "Perfect," I whispered sweetly into his ear, smirking at the shiver that I felt run through his body. We did it a few more times before I released him. "I'll set the speed on slow until you get the hang of it."

I left the cage and went down to the pitching machine and adjusted it. "Ready?" I yelled down to him and he nodded, licking his lips nervously. "Okay, here it comes."

The machine wound up and spit the first ball at Jasper. He didn't flinch as it whizzed by him, but he failed to swing too. The next pitch, he swung but was too slow and missed completely. I could see his lips moving as he talked to himself and then I saw him bend a bit more forward, holding the bat high above his left shoulder. There was a look an unmistakable look of determination on his face. The ball left the machine and Jasper readied himself, swinging at the just the right time and making contact. There wasn't much force behind it and it only went a few feet, but he grinned in victory.

"I did it!"

Then he immediately got ready for the next pitch. That time, he swung the bat with more weight, turning his body into it and slamming the ball back at me.

"Pretty fucking cool," he called down to me. The next dozen or so pitches he hit about the same strength, each one easily making it back to me. It was a man that was swinging the bat, but the light in his eyes was that of a boy finding his potential.

Without warning him, I turned the machine on faster. The next ball came out twice as fast as the one before, about sixty miles an hour. His eyes never left it and he swung in perfect time, whacking the ball in a hard line drive. I gave him the thumbs up and he continued to smash one after the other, creating loud cracking sounds that echoed throughout the building. I watched his upper body twisting when he swung, his biceps straining against his shirt, the long muscles of his forearms visible where he had rolled his sleeves up. Instinctively, his left hand would release the bat each time as he followed through with his swing. His long fingers wrapped around the bat and concentration ruled his face, his eyes narrowed and focused on the baseballs as they came at him one after the other. Long curls that almost reached his chin stuck out under the black plastic helmet as his entire body moved in harmony. He might not have played sports as kid, but he had the physique of an athlete and he knew how to move.

And not just hitting a ball.

About half way through the hour, he held up his hand and I stopped the machine.

"I want to see you hit."

I waved him down and showed him how to run the pitching machine, telling him to start off slow. Then, taking his bat and helmet, headed down to home plate. It had been years since I swung a bat, but as I positioned myself over the plate, I felt comfortable. I nodded to Jasper and he started the machine and the first pitch came at me. The ball came at me much faster than I remembered and I reacted too late and missed.

"Nice job," Jasper teased with thumbs up.

"Shut the fuck up. It's been a few years," I retorted, throwing up my middle finger at him. Tossing his head back, he laughed…until he heard the smack of the bat hitting the ball. Then his eyes went wide and he watched me do it again, hitting a fast line drive right back at him. I saw him speed the machine up, and then waited for me to swing. The fast ball came at me, and I swung my entire body, putting all my weight on my right foot as I hit the ball with a thunderous clap.

"Holy shit," he mouthed. "Do it again!"

So I did.

For about the next thirty minutes, I hit one homerun after another, and Jasper watched with awe. When our time was up, we left the cages and I took him to the pitching tunnel. We grabbed two gloves and a bucket of balls. After we entered, I showed him how to pitch a basic fastball, impressed when he picked it up so quickly. His gym teacher had been right, Jasper had a great arm. He was much stronger than he looked and his control and aim were accurate. He would have made one hell of a high school baseball player.

We took turns pitching until our time had run out, then headed out to the car. Jasper never stopped talking, thanking me for taking him there, for playing baseball with him, for teaching him. His voice was animated and excited, and I grinned at the thought of him reclaiming a small part of his childhood. I drove us back into town and parked the car in front of the rows of shops. After getting coffee at a corner shop, we sat at a table by the window, basking in the early spring sun. Walking down the cobblestone sidewalks, we window shopped and went into a few stores, looking at the arts and crafts. I bought Jasper a keychain of a rubber lobster and tee shirt that said "I love lobsta" on it, and he bought me a bouquet of red and white roses from a street vender.

"Do you know what the colors of roses stand for?" I asked him, my nose buried in the velvety petals as I inhaled their fragrance.

"What do you mean?" He was holding up his keychain, watching the lobster dancing around as he bounced it in the air.

"Different colored roses mean different things."

He stopped and grabbed my arm. "Did I buy you a bad color? We can go back…"

"No, love, red and white are perfect. Red roses mean love, respect, courage, and passion, and white means purity, secrecy, and innocence. Together, they mean unity."

He glanced at the flowers and back at me. "You got all that just from colors?"

I laughed. "Yep. You know, different flowers have different meanings too."

"And here I just thought they smelled nice."

We walked a little further, our hands clasped between us.

"You still haven't told me what you want for you birthday?"

"And yet you keep asking. I told you, I've got everything I want. Besides, what more is there to life than this fucking cool keychain?" He laughed, dangling it front of me. I pulled him to a stop, tugging him to me and without warning, kissed him so long he was gasping for air when he pulled away. "What was that for?"

"Because I can."

"Damn right you can, any fucking time you want," he chuckled.

When we got hungry, we grabbed cheeseburgers and fries for lunch, the flowers sitting on the table next to us. Jasper inhaled his burger, claiming that baseball players needed their protein. We laughed and joked and teased, it was wonderful and perfect in every single way. Every now and then, just because we could, we kissed or held hands. Sometimes I would look at him and find him watching me with a slight smile, blushing when he'd been caught. The day was full of laughter and smiles and I couldn't remember the last time I had been so happy, so free.

I wanted him to see what life with me could be like, but I knew it couldn't be like that unless I came out. There would be no hand holding or kissing on the streets of Chicago, no taking him home for the holidays to meet my parents. None of that would happen as long as I was in the closet. Every time I thought I might be able to do it, that the confidence would begin to grow in me, I would get petrified and my mind filled with dark thoughts and doubt. I would remember Tim and how he had been sent to work overseas, or more recently, I would think of fifteen year old Riley being told he was a sin and his parents kicking him out of their home and lives. My father wasn't a preacher, but he wielded the same kind of control over me and my life. I had the advantage of age and money that Riley hadn't had, but the rejection would sting just as bad. After all the sacrifices I had made my entire life, all I had gone through to be sure I was ready to take over the company for my father, I couldn't throw it all away by coming out.

No, I had to stay in the closet, and hoped like fucking hell that Jasper would stay in there with me.

"Ready to head back to the house?" I asked Jasper as we walked down the sidewalk in front of the stores.

"Yeah, I want to go back to the rock later," he replied.

We went to the car and I drove us home, holding Jasper's hand on the gearshift and teaching him how to shift the gears, laughing when he began to panic about finding second gear.

"It's a standard 'H'," I told him.

"I don't know what the fuck that means," he said frustrated.

Patiently, I showed him the gears, and how to listen to engine to know when to shift. By the time we pulled into the gated driveway, he had the hang of it. We went inside and put the flowers in a vase before grabbing a few beers and going to the deck. Jasper pulled his chair right next to mine so that he could hold my hand and laid his head on my shoulder.

"What was the boy's name?" I asked suddenly, but quietly. "The boy you saved?"

Taking a sip of his beer, he looked out over the water, his eyes squinting against the sunlight. He knew he didn't have to answer, I wasn't sure I even expected him to, so when he spoke, my heart skipped with the trust he was giving me.

"Mark. I think his name was Mark."

"You saved Mark," I reminded him softly.

He glanced at me quickly, and nodded slightly. "I didn't save him, Edward, I just…I don't fucking know, I just tried to…"

"Save him."

Eventually, he shrugged and nodded again. "Maybe I did."

Even if he didn't want to admit or take credit for what he had done, I was going to be sure he got it. There was no way for him to know what had happened to Mark after Jasper had left the orphanage. Mark could have fallen victim to someone else, or perhaps, because Jasper had watched out for him for those few years, he'd remained untouched until he left.

"Would you change your life if you could?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"If you could go back and change things, have a different life, would you?"

"Not if it didn't lead me to you. I wouldn't want to risk it."

"You wouldn't change what happened in the orphanage?"

"I don't know. I mean, this is my life, it sucked sometimes, but it's just what I had." He grew silent, thoughtful before he finally brought his eyes to mine. "I guess I would change something. I wished my parents hadn't used drugs. Maybe then they would have known how to care for me better. It would have been nice to do things like play baseball and learn the piano like you did."

"If I could change that for you, I would."

"I know," he sighed, laying his head on my shoulder.

"I can teach you, ya know."

"What?"

"To play the piano, I can teach you."

He sighed and then kissed my forehead. "You don't have to do this, Edward."

"Do what?"

"You've already made all my dreams come true, you don't have to try to take everything wrong from my childhood and make it right."

I forced his eyes to me. "As much as I want to, I know I can't do that. It would take more than a lifetime to right all the wrongs in your life, but I can fix some of them. I_ want_ to, if you'll let me."

For a long moment, he held my gaze, his eyes as blue as the ocean before us, though his eyes were less stormy as a serenity settled in their depths.

"You'll teach me to play?" he asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Thanks," he smiled before looking away.

We were quiet for a few minutes before I nudged him and said we should get dinner cooking. I turned some music on in the kitchen and we started cooking. Jasper made the salad while I began grilling the steaks and potatoes. It was so nice cooking for two after so many years alone and ordering takeout all the time. When I carried the steaks inside, I found Jasper at the sink washing a few dishes, his hips swaying back and forth to the music. He glanced over his shoulder and saw me, winking before he turned back and wiggled his ass even more. I set the food on the counter and grabbed his hips, pulling him away from the counter and to me. Soapy, wet hands covered mine on his stomach and he leaned back against me, his head turned on my shoulder toward me. The beat was a fast dance song, but we moved slow and sensual together, our hips grinding as he wound an arm up around my neck and leaned toward me for a leisurely kiss.

"Dinner is going to get cold," I murmured into the kiss.

He nodded and turned in my arms, wrapping his around my neck and deepening the kiss even more. Our cocks rubbed against each other as we moved, our hips swinging back and forth while our fingers began to undo buttons. I kept shaking my head no as I untucked his shirt and began sliding it down his arms. As soon as his chest was bare, my mouth was on him, taking a nipple into my mouth, steadying him when he suddenly arched into me, throwing him off balance. Quickly I undid his jeans, popping the button and unzipping them before slowly lowering myself to my knees, dragging my body down his. With one last glance up to his darkened eyes, I buried my nose against his cloth-covered cock, running along the underside of it.

"Fuck yeah," he moaned, his hands holding my head as he ground his cock into my face, the flaps of his rough jeans scraping my cheeks. "Suck me."

Pushing against his strength, I looked up and shook my head. "Not now. Later when I can do it properly."

"Tease," he smirked, releasing me.

We ate dinner at the table, Jasper refusing to put his shirt back on or do up his pants. I didn't even taste the food, all I could focus on was Jasper's nipples and the way his cock bulged against his briefs when he leaned back against the back of his chair and stretched.

"Now who's the tease?"

"Payback's a bitch, baby," he chuckled, running his hand down his chest to his crotch.

We finished dinner and Jasper reluctantly put a sweatshirt on and did up his jeans before we headed to the beach and our rock. There was little daylight left, but I showed Jasper the mouth and eye on the rock and he agreed that if he tilted his head just right, he could see how a kid might think it looked like a whale. I shoved him hard and then started climbing up the boulders. The rock had always been big, but I hadn't realized it was more than large enough to hold us both, its oval shape jutted out almost majestically from the others, like it was rising out of the water. I reached the rock and turned to find Jasper right behind me, his cheeks red from the cold. I sat down, and waited for him to sit between my legs before wrapping my arms around his middle and pulling him close.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

He tilted his head and eyed me. "Why did you do it?

"Do what?"

"Fuck Spencer."

"Honestly?" He nodded and I sighed. "I was trying to prove to myself that I could be what you wanted."

"Which was what?"

"A dominant top. After the phone call, after I had heard _him_ speak to you like that, and then you begged for it him…" My voice grew quiet and trailed off. Looking away from his gaze, I continued. "When Spencer showed up, I was drunk and he just had this look in his eyes. Next thing I know, I was pulling his pants down and fucking him against a wall. I thought being like that was what made you excited."

"Edward, just being next to you makes me excited, fucking or not, topping or not. You know I don't need you to be like that, right?"

"I want to know that," I nodded. "It's just after hearing that…I was horrible anyway. I was so drunk and wanted to prove it to myself so bad that I took him dry and bare."

"Jesus," he murmured.

"I didn't even get him ready…"

"You should get tested," he said quietly.

"Spencer's clean, but if you want me to, I will."

He turned back toward the water. "I know of a free clinic on Main that I used to go to when I worked the streets, it's anonymous."

I smiled and kissed his head. "I can afford a doctor."

"Oh, right, sorry."

A quiet settled over us, our bodies relaxed against each other and we watched the moon rise and the boats head to the harbor after a long day of fishing. We kissed and held and talked, whispers of love, along with a few suggestive ones, were exchanged. It didn't take long before the sexual tension from dinner returned and we were grasping at clothing. No matter how many times I had imagined it, I didn't want to get fucked on the cold rock, and I pushed Jasper's body off mine.

"I believe you have some unfinished business to attend to," he reminded me.

"Let's head inside where we can be more comfortable," I suggested and he nodded, breathless.

We climbed down the rocks, careful not to slip on the algae and seaweed, but once we hit the sand, Jasper broke into a run, pulling off his sweatshirt as he bounded up the porch steps two by two. We reached the house and went inside, stripping our clothes off as we headed for the bedroom, leaving a trail of sweatshirts, socks, and jeans behind us. By the time we reached our room, we were naked, the cooled skin of our bodies pressing against each other as we kissed. Feathery touches left goose bumps behind as our hands roamed each other, always coming back to an ass or cock. Backing up until his knees hit the bed, he brought me with him as he lay back on the comforter, our weight sinking into the mattress as I crawled up his body with a hungry stare. Hovering over him, I kissed along his shoulders and down his chest, pausing when I reached a nipple, sucking on it before clamping my teeth around it.

"Jesus," he groaned, his back arching off the bed.

I moaned and kept moving down his body, not leaving an inch uncovered with wet kisses. His fingers sought out my hair, tugging on it and pushing me lower at the same time, his cock strained to be touched. Lifting his head, he watched me work his body masterfully, knowing the spots that made him writhe and squirm and the ones that made him moan. Still without touching him with anything other than my lips, I continued to leave moist kisses along his abdomen, through the blond curls that framed his cock. I concentrated on his scar, running my tongue along the ridged, red line before licking my way down his thigh, working inward.

Gripping my hair, he whimpered, "Please, baby, fucking touch me already."

Stopping, I lifted my head and looked up at him. "I _am_ touching you," I teased with a flick of my tongue on the inside of his thigh. Hot breath bathed his balls right before the flat of my tongue ran up them.

"Yeah, fuck, yeah," he sighed, relieved.

Pulling one of his balls into my mouth, I sucked on it, lavishing before moving to the other. He had spread his legs, and his hips bucked up toward me, needing more. I scratched the pale, tender flesh on the inside of his thighs with my scruffy jaw and earned a long groan.

"Do you want me to suck your cock?" My words were muffled by his balls.

"Fucking yes," he cried out. Panting, he lay flat, one hand remaining my hair, the other on the bed, flexing around the bedspread. "Please, baby, please suck me."

"Mmm, I love it when you beg for _me_," I smiled and with one long lap of his cock, I took it into my mouth, immediately sucking so fucking hard I thought he was going to come right then.

"Jesus, oh fuck yeah."

Taking him deep, until my nose was tickled by his curls, I swallowed around him and he pulled on my hair.

"Close, stop," he growled and I pulled back, letting his cock slide through my lips until only the head remained between them. I teased the head of his cock with flicks of my tongue, dipping it into the slit before swirling under the flared ridge. His body began trembling as he fought for control that he never had. Easing his legs further apart, I settled between them and took his balls into my hand, fondling them lightly.

"Baby, baby," he babbled, his eyes clenched shut and his teeth gritted as I sucked him deep into my throat again. His taste grew stronger in my mouth as his cock leaked fluid, coating my tongue with his heady flavor. There was a musky scent in the air already, one of sex and desire. My cock was thick and hard with excitement, and I pressed it into the mattress to relieve some of its ache.

With needy and wanton motions, Jasper tried to try to thrust up into my mouth, but I held his hips with one hand, and he relaxed. Keening sounds flowed from his mouth and I looked up to find him watching me, his eyes so dark they matched the black of the ocean outside. His cheeks were pink with a flush that traveled down his neck and spread over his chest. The fire within him had grown, igniting with each movement of my mouth over his salvia coated cock. I bobbed my head, my mouth sliding over him with deliberate actions, bringing him to the edge several times before backing off.

"Jesus, please, baby, gotta come so bad," he begged, his entire body shuddering.

On both sides of me, his legs jerked and quivered. I moaned and took him deeper until the head of his cock struck the back of my throat and then I swallowed hard, coaxing his orgasm from him. My fingers tickled his balls, one to neared his entrance, tracing the puckered hole. When the tip of my finger edged its way in, Jasper cried out, his entire body lifting off the bed and tensing.

"Coming," he warned too late, his cock was already pulsing and releasing his huge load down my throat. I took it all, swallowing what I could and letting the rest dribble out from the sides of my mouth. His head fell back onto the mattress, his chest heaving as he gulped in air. "Your lips around my cock is the fucking hottest thing ever."

Letting go of his cock, I kept my finger in his spread hole. It wasn't in far, but I had noticed his ass was pushing down on it. He wanted it deeper. His cock rested against his stomach, a slick sheen to it as cum still dripped from it. Feeling guilty for penetrating him, I remained still.

"More," he whispered.

Listening, I inserted my finger a little more, amazed at the way he responded. His abdomen muscles tightened and I felt his ass clamp around my finger. My cock twitched at the thought of being embraced by something so tight and I reached down to stroke myself while Jasper's sated body worked itself against my finger.

"Deeper."

I hesitated, and he sensed it. Lifting his head he looked down at me through half-lidded eyes. Releasing my hair, he palmed my cheek.

"C'mere," he said. Pulling my finger from his body, I moved up him until I lay flush with his body, my erection mashing his softening one. He looked into my eyes, searching for the uncertainty he had felt in my touch. "I want you to make love to me, baby."

I immediately shook my head. "No, I can't."

"Yes, you can. All day you've asked me what I want for my birthday. Well, this is what I want. I want to feel you inside me, I want you to come in me. I want you to make me yours in every way."

"I don't...I mean, I don't really know what I'm doing. And I know that you've had better and I really, really don't want to disappoint you but I know that I'm going to..." I rambled, my eyes avoiding his.

"Baby, breathe," he murmured soothingly. "It'll be perfect because it's you. Because it's _us_. You won't disappoint me. You own my heart, Edward, now take my body."

He was doing it as much for me as he was for him, I knew he was. He had given me his heart, I had reclaimed him emotionally after everything that had happened when we had said we loved each other the night before. He wanted me to experience what so many others had with him. By giving me his body, he was letting me claim him physically as well. As scared as I was, I knew he was right, I needed it, I needed to know he was mine. I also knew I would do anything for him, even top. Nervously, I nodded. He lifted his head to me, sweeping his lips across mine gratefully. He kissed me gently, pouring confidence that I lacked into me through the movements of our mouths and tongues.

"Thank you, baby."

"How…do you…how, what position…" I stammered.

"Like this, I want to be able to watch you," he said, not taking his eyes from my face.

Biting my lip, I nodded and rolled off him to get the lube and a condom from my bag on the floor. I returned to the bed, sitting on my heels between his legs, and drizzled lube onto my fingers. Once they were coated, I snapped the bottle shut and tossed it on the bed. Jasper eagerly spread his legs for me, inviting me in. Dragging my eyes up his body, I placed my index finger at his entrance.

"Go on," he encouraged when I paused. Slowly, I slipped my finger in, but stopped when I saw his body tensing. "Deeper."

Keeping my finger in him, I shook my head. Jasper had been hurt and used by people that didn't care about him, didn't respect him, and I couldn't help but think I was contributing to his pain. Regardless of his words and his body's reactions, somehow topping him seemed wrong, like I was no better than all the others that had used him before me. But there was no denying that as nervous as I was, my cock ached between my legs, throbbing with the need for release. Fluid beaded at the slit, waiting to be swiped away by a finger or tongue.

"Feels so good," he moaned, contradicting my fear. Lifting his ass off the mattress with what little leverage he had, he cried out when the tip of my finger struck his gland. "More, fuck, I need more," he pleaded.

Pushing my concern aside, I added a second finger, and moved them in and out of his hole. Groans constantly streamed from him as he arched his back and moved his body to get me even deeper into him as I stretched him for me. My fingers readied him until he placed a hand on my arm.

"Need you now," he begged. Easing my fingers from him, I looked at his hooded eyes, hoping they would calm me.

"Are you sure?"

"Fucking yes, baby. Fuck me."

_Fuck me._

The demand resounded in my head, feeding the anxiety that was already coursing through me. Sitting up, he reached for the condom and tore it open while I waited timidly between his parted legs. I worried I wasn't going to be good enough, that surely I wouldn't compare to _him. _What if it was horrible, what if Jasper didn't enjoy it, or worse, what if I hurt him? Questions of uncertainty and doubt raced through my mind at a blinding pace even as his hands attempted to sooth my frayed nerves. I had faced crowds of reporters, irate board members, had saved companies from collapsing and yet I had never been more intimidated than I was with him, alone and in bed, faced with topping him.

"I don't think I-"

"Fuck, yes you can," he insisted, cutting me off. Surprised by his tone, I looked at him, gnawing on my bottom lip until it hurt. "This is right, it's what I want."

"I don't want to hurt you," I finally admitted.

_What if I'm not as good as him?_

_Don't leave me._

The fears compounded each other, clamping around my heart as it tried to race.

"You won't," he assured me, shaking his head, his curls swaying side to side, partially hiding his eyes. He tugged the condom onto my cock, and then slathered it with more lube. Slowly bringing his eyes up to mine, he smiled. "You're so beautiful, Edward," he said with a reverence that made my pounding heart calm and my cock twitch.

Curving a hand around my neck, he lay back, bringing me with him. Our lips met in a bruising kiss, teeth clicking and tongues devouring and my hips instinctively began to move against his pliable and willing body. With one hand threaded in my hair, his other went to my ass, where he kneaded the flesh. Under me, his hips bucked against my weight that lay cradled between his legs. Being with Jasper was the most natural thing I'd ever done, nothing ever felt more right than holding him and kissing him and making love with him.

"Please," he murmured into the breaths we shared. "I want you in me."

Releasing me, he used his hands to bring his knees up, presenting himself to me. I sat back, taking my cock into my hand, and looked at him one last time. When I saw his blue eyes so filled with love for me, I knew everything was right. Being with him there, making love to him, breathing him…

Loving him.

All of it was right.

"I love you," I whispered, reaching to touch his cheek.

"I love you too," he vowed.

With one last breath, I pressed against him, the head of my cock gliding into his entrance. His body stiffened and he inhaled deeply. I waited for his nod before I continued, entering him as slowly and patiently as could. Everything in me screamed for more - deeper, harder, faster- my body already wanting to claim its orgasm. Looking down, I watched as my cock was swallowed by his ass, inch by inch, until my balls were snug against him and my cock was completely sheathed. Tentatively, I rocked my hips, my cock sliding back out, before I tenderly thrust forward again, his body easily welcoming and accepting mine.

"More," he pleaded, his eyes begging me for something I wasn't sure I could give him. The idea of fucking anyone, much less Jasper, was so foreign to me, that it was difficult to even imagine myself taking him like that. "Just listen to our bodies, baby," he whispered. "They want this."

I don't know how he knew what to say, or what I needed to hear, but he did, and I listened. Focusing on nothing but the incredibly hot body beneath me and the fucking amazing way he felt around me, I freed my mind of the guilt and the memories he had told me, and gave into the physical need and desire I had to be with Jasper.

I barely remembered fucking Spencer, but I knew it didn't feel like that. Nothing had ever felt like Jasper did, his ass tight around my cock, strangling it as I gently rolled my hips into him again and again. He let his legs go and reached for me, pulling me down onto him, forcibly capturing my lips with his, crushing our bodies together as he frantically kissed me. My arms were under his shoulders, my fingers tangling in his damp hair as he writhed. With each thrust of my hips, I reveled in the feeling of him under me, relishing in the way his body seemingly yearned for more of mine. Trembling, I continued to push into him, every nerve in me teetering on the edge as my entire body got high from the feeling of being with him that way. Breaking the kiss I laid my forehead on his chest, and his hand snuck between us to grip his erection.

He was hard again.

He was hard because of me, because of what I was doing to him, with him.

Steadily pumping himself, he panted in my ear, his breaths hot as they washed over me, murmuring words of encouragement of how good I felt deep inside him. His body shuddered and his hand quickened on his cock, but with each snap of my hips and cry of want from him, worries of hurting him and being inferior crept back into my mind and I began to hesitate again.

"I'm not going to break, baby. You can fuck me…hard."

Looking down his body, I saw where our bodies joined, and already felt my orgasm fluttering low in my belly. It was bad enough I was nervous about making love to him, now I was going to embarrass myself further by not lasting more than a few minutes. Thinking I could delay it, I slowed my hips, stilling them and leaving only the head of my cock inside him. I lifted my head and looked at him, ashamed.

"I'm not going to last long," I whispered regrettably. I lacked the control over my body that Jasper seemed to have over his.

Brushing his fingers down my cheek, he smiled. "Neither am I." Between us, his hand moved, his wrist flicking as he stroked his cock, and his ass clenched around me. "Take me."

Bracing my hands next to his head, I lifted myself and with the faith he had in me, I began to move again. While I tried to move slowly at first, he felt to fucking good around me, and I soon found myself grunting loudly as I thrust into him desperately. The need to prove something to myself or him was gone, he loved me and he wanted _me_. Sweat trickled down my back and dripped from me onto him as our bodies repeatedly collided. He was everywhere, his legs were wrapped around me, his hand was in my hair, fisting it with need, his mouth was on my lips, my jaw, my neck. Our chests were slick as he ran his tongue up my throat, stopping to suck on my Adam's apple before nipping his way to my jaw. He cried out when I thrust my hips into him, striking him deep inside. Every place he touched on me was a direct link to my dick and it jerked inside him. When he moaned in response, his legs gripping me even tighter, pushing me even deeper, I just about came undone. My body shook with effort as I tried to push my orgasm back, but the tingling at the base of my spine let me know I was failing. I had to hold off until he came first, I wanted to feel the sensation of him coming around me.

"Need you to come," I gasped, staring down into his eyes. "Like right fucking now."

"Harder," he groaned, his hand never stopping between us. "Feels so fucking good, you're going to make me come."

I was going to make him come.

Ragged breaths left me as I began to impatiently thrust into him, hoping to give him what he needed. Two strokes of his cock later, every muscle tensed as the coil inside him sprang and he came. Loud, guttural cries of my name filled the room as his cock emptied onto his abdomen.

"Fuck," I rasped, watching his cock spew cum onto his chest.

Nothing could ever compare to the way he felt around me, his climax crashing though his body which tightened around my cock even more. There was a surge of ecstasy through me, enticing my orgasm. There was no more holding back, and I came. The fire spread out and up, ravaging every part of me right before my cock erupted into the condom, filling it with bursts of warm cum. My hips slammed into him, craving his ass's embrace, and the way it greedily milked me with its spasms. I wasn't sure what I said, the mutterings were beyond my comprehension, but his hands were stroking my back, and his lips were searching for mine, claiming them as my cock finished in him.

Our breaths were loud and staggered, his cum was adhering us, my cock was still pulsing inside him, and we didn't care. We continued to kiss, our hands softly caressing faces and arms and backs. Gradually, his legs loosened their grip on me and fell back to the bed, spread for me to remain in him. I should have pulled out, but I didn't want to break the connection we finally shared. There were times when I felt I couldn't get enough of Jasper, that no matter how much I touched him, I always wanted more. Perhaps it was the spoiled little rich boy in me, or maybe it was the love I had for him, but right then was one of those moments. I couldn't get close enough, or touch him enough. Every kiss led to me wanting another, every brush of his fingers only made me desire more. Jasper indulged me, sensing exactly what I needed, anticipating it before I ever realized it. My body was greedy for him, my heart even more so.

Finally, I pulled away and couldn't help but smile down at him. Dimples and full lips returned my smile, but it faded away and his eyes grew serious.

"That should have been your first time," he whispered knowingly. "Not some quick fuck, but like this with love and…me."

I nodded, and put my forehead to his. "I'm sorry I wasn't very good."

"Baby, you were perfect," he breathed, "absolutely perfect."

"I was nervous and didn't last very long," I sighed.

"You made me come. You shouldn't have been nervous, it's me, it's _us_," he said before kissing me again.

"I was worried about hurting you, after what you… went through."

"Baby, that was years ago. Trust me, you couldn't hurt me if you tried. I promise I wanted it, all of it, and you were incredible, you felt amazing inside me."

Eyeing him, I furrowed my brows, not completely sure if he was full of shit or not.

"Amazing," he reiterated, finally drawing a smile from me.

"It was pretty amazing, wasn't it?" I finally conceded.

"Definitely. You looked so fucking hot above me. The way your face scrunched up when you tried not to come, and Jesus, when your eyes rolled back into your head..."

Blushing, I dropped my gaze. "Did I…was I hitting…did I hit your…?"

Smiling, he nodded. "Mmm, sure did. Several times, it's what made me hard again so quickly."

Relieved, I finally let myself enjoy the fact that I had topped Jasper. I reached between us, and grabbed the base of my cock and the condom as I shifted my hips from his and slipped from his used hole. He hissed at the loss, and I pulled the condom off and put it on the table next to the bed, not even willing to leave him to clean up. I went to roll off him, but he stopped me.

"Stay on me," he murmured.

I moved back to him, my hips still between his long legs, our bodies fitting perfectly together. We kissed some more, lazily and languidly, like we had all the time in the world. It was still pretty early, but our bodies were tired, and I knew from experience, he was sore.

"Do you want to shower, then we can watch a movie?"

"Sounds wonderful," he agreed, still smiling.

I made him smile. I made him happy.

Nothing ever touched me more than that, knowing I brought happiness into his world that for so long had been filled with strife and sadness.

"I love you so much," I blurted softly.

Sometimes I think I could say it every minute and it still wouldn't be enough. Now that the words had been spoken, I wanted nothing more than to scream them to everyone, but most importantly, I wanted to remind him over and over that I was his in every way.

"I love you too," he chuckled, pushing me off him. "Shower."

I got up, and waited for him. "Sore?" I asked when he moved gingerly off the bed.

There was a hesitation, he wanted to deny it, but he knew I was familiar with the feeling.

"A little," he admitted.

He walked by me toward the bathroom, taking my hand on the way to lead me. After turning on the shower, he let it heat up for a minute, using the time wisely to kiss and grope me, his hands on my ass, spreading me. Angling his head, he groaned into the kiss and I felt his hips moving against me.

Sometimes Jasper was insatiable.

But he behaved and broke the kiss to open the shower door, pulling me inside. Under the spray of hot water, he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. Slinging my arms around his neck, I returned his kiss, enjoying every second his body was next to mine.

"We're supposed to be getting clean," I reminded him when his mouth left my lips to move down my neck.

"I'm licking you clean," he chuckled. "Inch by delicious inch."

Laughing, I shoved him away and grabbed the shampoo from the shelf, pouring some into my hand. I motioned for him to turn around and he did, tilting his head back for me. I lathered his hair, massaging his scalp before rinsing him off. He did the same for me, and I think I actually fucking purred when his nails scratched through my hair.

"Feel good?"

"Mmmm…"

He kissed my shoulder and then rinsed my hair, and I felt the sudsy water running down my back. When he was done, he took the body wash and began to wash me with the same care, taking his time to caress everywhere.

"Rinse," he directed, pushing me under the spray. As I rinsed off, he washed himself, smirking at me when I licked my lips. There was something about the way the water ran in rivulets down his chest and over the muscles in his abdomen. When he turned to rinse himself off, I groaned. The water ran down his defined back and over the curve of his ass.

The one I had just fucked.

"Ya know," he began, "I told you how amazing it felt, but you haven't said much. Did it feel good?"

"It was…so tight, fucking tight," I laughed. "It was incredible. The second best thing I've ever felt."

"Second best?" He quirked a brow with a smile.

"The best is when you are in me."

"You're such a bottom, baby," he shook his head, and I nodded.

"I really am. I mean, if you wanted me to do it again, I would, probably have my dick inside you before the words even left your mouth, but I prefer your cock inside me."

I wasn't ashamed that I was bottom, I was comfortable with it, it was what I wanted. I dominated people and companies in my career, but in my bedroom I wanted someone else to take the lead, I wanted to be taken care of, adored and pampered.

And fucked really hard.

He put his fingers under my chin, cupping it, and then drew me into a kiss. "I just want you anyway I can get you," he mumbled right before our lips touched.

Our slick bodies slid together as we made out until the shower ran cold. Shivering, he turned off the water, and opened the door to step out. I followed him, grabbing us a few towels, enjoying the view as he put his foot on the toilet to dry his leg off, his ass jutting out and his cock hanging heavy between his legs. We dried off and then Jasper went to make popcorn while I put the movie in and turned down the covers of the bed. I climbed in and waited for him, laughing when he came bounding into the room with a bowl of popcorn and two beers. Excitedly, he crawled between my legs and settled back against me. I hit play on the remote and the familiar music started, Jasper almost bouncing along with it.

How he had so much energy, I had no idea.

His warm body rested against me and he held the bowl up for me. We drank our beers, ate the popcorn and giggled like munchkins when the Lollipop Guild came appeared. Before the movie was half over, Jasper's eyes were starting to close. I took the bowl and set it on the floor before turning the television off. He startled, his eyes opening as he jumped upright.

"Sssshhh, sleep time," I said to him, and moving to my side I took him with me.

Facing him, I laid my head on the pillow and just stared at the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. I curled my sated body around his, my nose nuzzling his damp tawny waves as my arm rested across his waist. My mind had emptied of the worries from earlier, Jasper had led me through it, giving me the confidence I had needed to make love to him. It had been more than I had ever imagined it could be. It had been tender and hard, loving and desperate.

He was right, it had been perfect, it had been…us.

My heart beat against his chest in perfect time with his, our souls meeting somewhere between the flesh and bone to embrace each other so tightly there was no discerning where one ended and the other began. There was no extricating myself from his life, or him from mine. After that weekend together, all that we had shared, physically and emotionally, we would forever be connected.

Next to me in my arms, my lover stirred and looked at me with hazy blue eye as they fluttered to remain open even as his body was pulling him into sleep.

"Go to sleep, love. I'm here," I assured him with a kiss to his swollen lips.

"I love you," he sighed, his eyes gratefully drifting closed.

"I love you too, Jasper."

He nestled against me, his body completely relaxed as he sank into my hold. Even after a shower, he smelled of us and love. Pulling the blanket over our bodies, I snuggled next to him, my fingers drawing lazy circles on his hip until I could no longer keep my eyes open to watch him sleep. Giving in, my eyes shut and I held Jasper as close as possible.

And for the second time in my life, I fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved.

Of the man that loved me back.

I had found someplace over the rainbow.

"**~~**"

The breeze was blowing his hair across his face. No matter how many times he tucked it behind his ear, the errant waves returned to block his view. He held a quilt around his shoulders, his hands braced on the worn porch railing as he overlooked the morning sun peeking over the ocean, facets of light bouncing off it, white foam gathering as the waves crested before easing over the sand. Naked, I walked up behind him and wrapped an arm around his middle and handed him a mug of coffee.

"It's beautiful here," he said absently, his eyes never leaving the rising sun.

"It is. Peaceful."

We stood like that with him in my arms until the sun had completely breeched the horizon.

"Is it always like this?"

"No, it's never been as beautiful as it is now with you here," I replied honestly.

"You're a sap," he joked. "But I love you anyway."

"This sap loves you too. Are you still sore?" I asked quietly.

"A little, but nothing I'm not used to. It's worth it," he smiled at me. He moved and opened his blanket, letting me slip under it with him as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me to his naked body. He was warm, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I want to stay here," he sighed sadly.

"Me too," I admitted. "It's been perfect."

"I don't want to go back."

Lifting my head, I eyed him, wondering what he was saying, or not saying. Did he not want to go back to Seattle, work, Riley, his clients, or was it that he wanted to stay with me. Not daring to ask, I just nodded in agreement.

I didn't want to go back either, home or Seattle.

Jasper and I had made a wonderful, brief, life together, and the taste of it left me yearning for more. But I knew that once we were back in the real world of work and phone calls and emails, he would still love me. No matter where I was, or who he was with, he was mine.

"Thank you, Edward. For bringing me here, for showing me your rock, and celebrating my birthday. Thank you for making love to me," he whispered.

"It was my pleasure, love. Thank you for trusting me with your past, I know that wasn't easy."

"It's easier now. I'm glad I told you."

"Me too." If possible, I held him even tighter and sighed. "We need to pack, we've got a flight to catch. The limo should be here in about three hours."

Still, we stood there watching the sun until it had emerged from the horizon completely. Finally, I pulled away from his arm, and after a kiss to his unshaven jaw, took his hand and dragged him back inside. We showered and finished packing, going through the food in the kitchen and making sure everything was cleaned up before we brought our bags to the door.

"Do we have time for one last walk on the beach?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, actually I thought we could throw the roses out to the ocean. I can't bring them with me and it seems a shame to put them in the trash, I thought it be kind of nice to let the ocean have them."

"I like that idea."

I pulled the roses from the vase and held my hand out.

Eagerly, he took it and led me to the sand, tugging me to the ocean. We each took a flower and tossed into onto the water, alternating until there was only a single red one left. We watched the flowers bobbed up and down with the calm waves.

"A single red rose means I love you," I told him, holding the flower out to him.

Smiling, he took it and brought it up to his nose, inhaling its fragrance deeply. Then he turned and headed toward the boulders. Curious, I followed him.

"I want take pictures," he announced when he reached the rocks.

"Sure."

Before we climbed the boulders, he took out his cell phone and turned it on for the first time since we had left. Selecting the camera, he took a picture of the rock. "Now I want one of us on it."

When we climbed onto it, we posed for his phone as he held it in front of us. I stood next to him, tilting my head toward his and smiling as he clicked. He took a few more, insisting on getting one of me alone, sitting on the edge, dangling my legs off it. Then I did the same with my phone, taking several of Jasper on it and a few of us together. We turned our phones back off and shoved them into our pockets.

"This has been amazing," he smiled. "Best weekend of my life."

"Mine too. I'll remember it forever."

Sitting on the rock, in what had become our position, Jasper between my legs and leaning against me, we watched the waves, kissing and holding and whispering until it was almost too late. Finally, we stood, but before we made our way down the rocks, Jasper placed the red rose on the rock. Sighing, he turned and began to make his way down to the sand. Jumping onto the sand, we slowly walked toward the house. When we reached the top step, Jasper turned and looked out over the Atlantic one last time.

"I'll see you again someday," he promised the ocean before turning and entering the house.

I locked the door behind us and we headed for the driveway where the limo was already waiting. Jasper loaded our bags while I checked to make sure the garage and car were secure, and then I joined him in the backseat. The driver gave us our departure time, announcing our plane was scheduled on time and that we would be at the airport in about ninety minutes. Jasper and I sat back, his head on my lap as I fingered his loose curls and hoped for a delay back to reality.

"**~~**"

"We'll drop our bags off here and then go get Riley at your place," Jasper said as he waited for the driver to unload our bags from the trunk. "When is your flight back to Chicago?"

"Tomorrow night," I answered, tipping the driver. Once Jasper had agreed to go with me, I had changed my usual Sunday afternoon flight to Monday night so that we could spend one more night together. We grabbed our bags and headed into the lobby of his apartment building.

The flight back had been…interesting. We had barely sat down in the back row of first class before Jasper was pulling the blanket down from the overhead bin and covering our laps with it. I watched him with a raised eyebrow as he pushed the armrest up and moved against me. The plane was just lifting off the ground when his fingers lowered the zipper of my pants.

"Does it count for the mile high club if you are airborne or do I have to wait until we're a mile up? Because not sure I can wait that fucking long to jerk you off and watch you come in front of all these people."

I almost came just from his words alone.

My eyes darted to the backs of all the heads of the passengers around us as my fingers dug into the armrest at my side. When he shoved my briefs down and pulled out my cock, my hand joined his. I wasn't sure if I was trying to stop him or help him. Gasping as he wrapped his fingers around my shaft, my eyes grew wide and I glanced around to see if we were being watched.

Part of me hoped me were.

But everyone seemed occupied with their laptops or cell phones. The flight attendant approached us, and Jasper stilled his hand and smiled at her, politely asking for two bottles of water. She nodded and went on her way. Jasper turned back to me, his hand slowly moving over my cock in the most deliciously teasing pace.

"I can't believe how fucking hard you are already. I barely touch you and your cock is twitching," he murmured. Gulping, I nodded, really unable to think of anything but how good his hand felt.

The guy in front of us coughed and I jumped. Jasper chuckled and gripped me tighter. The attendant delivered our waters and Jasper thanked her with a brilliant smile before setting the waters down next to him. If anyone looked closely, they could clearly see the motions of his hands under the blanket, there was little left to the imagination.

"I want to hear you come in front of all these people."

"Jesus," I muttered, clenching my eyes shut as his pace increased. "Jasper…."

"Yeah, baby?"

I couldn't answer him, but I opened my eyes and stared at him. He looked so calm and sure as he jerked me off. Flicking his wrist, he ran his thumb over the head, spreading the fluid that had gathered there and using it as lube to slicken my flesh as he stroked.

"Remember last night, baby? Remember you fucking me and how amazing it was? Remember how my ass felt around your cock?"

"Fucking hell," I panted, desperately trying to control myself.

"Mmm, you were so hot. I loved feeling your cock in me. I loved you fucking me, making me come for you. Making my body yours," he continued in throaty voice until I was whimpering next to him.

Trying in vain to keep my hips from fucking his fist, I pressed my head into the back of the seat and groaned. Alternating between fast and slow, he continued to stroke me, bringing me to the edge a few times before backing off. The handjob went on for almost half an hour, my body quivering as I pleaded with him to let me come. People walked by, some glancing at us while others paid no attention. Jasper never stopped though, he didn't care if we were caught and he knew that was exactly what was making my heart race, the thrill of it all. With each stroke, I craved more of him. My hand was still on his, holding it loosely and letting him do the work of moving them both along me.

"Want to come?"

"Fuck, yes," I breathed in relief.

The wool blanket scratched the head of cock, only adding to the friction that Jasper was already providing. I was tempted to pull my pants down, longing to feel his fingers in my ass. Instead, I spread my legs as much as I could and looked at him with half closed eyes.

"You're such a slut, baby," he chuckled. Expertly, he switched hands on my cock, and I felt a finger graze the head before moving past my balls to my hole. Heat rose from between my legs and I could smell my excitement as my breath hitched when he traced the needy entrance. "Is this what you want? You want me to finger fuck you in front of the other passengers?"

Nodding, I lifted my hips, giving him as much of my ass as possible. Removing his hand, he pulled my pants down on one side, giving him enough room to move easier between my legs. Above the blanket, we were the picture of complete calmness with the exception of my dazed eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Oh shit," I mouthed when his middle finger slipped into my ass, easing its way deeper until I was almost jumping out of my seat.

"Is that what you want?" he asked as he began to pump his finger in and out of me, matching the pace of his strokes. Overwhelmed, I moaned out load and Jasper smiled, glancing around us with mischievous eyes. "You don't even care that these people are going to hear you come. You want it that way, don't you?"

Blinking, I stared at him, my chest heaving.

"All proper on the outside, and an eager slut on the inside," he whispered in my ear.

My body was shaking, I wanted to come so fucking bad, but I didn't want it to end.

I wanted more.

"Your ass is so tight, I can't wait to get you home and fuck you senseless all fucking night, Edward. My cock in your ass until you can't walk anymore. You want that? Or would you rather I fuck you right here in his seat? See, Edward, I'm a whore, I've got no problem taking my cock out and impaling you on it right here in front of everyone."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I rambled, trying to spread my legs further. "I want you to fuck me here and all night."

"I thought so. That's why you're my slut, baby."

Keeping his finger buried inside my ass, he wiggled it back and forth and there was no more holding back. His pace quickened and I tensed, the stirring of my orgasm sitting low in my pelvis, my balls drew up tight. Releasing his hand, I pulled my shirt up, knowing cum was going to be everywhere.

"I love you," he whispered tenderly.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," I babbled as the burning spread and my orgasm hit me like a fucking freight train. With his finger deep inside me and his hand stroking my cock, I came hard, my cock pulsating as warm cum burst from it, landing on our hands, my pants, the blanket and my stomach. I gritted my teeth as I grunted.

"That's it, baby, come, let them all hear how good it feels," he encouraged, pumping my cock until I was grasping at his hand for him to stop.

He gradually slowed his stroking and my breathing evened out. My entire body was relaxed and sated. He released my cock and slipped his finger from me, wiping his hand on the blanket before using it to clean off my cock. Nimbly, he put my cock away and did my pants back up before pulling the blanket off and tossing it onto the floor.

"Wow," I sighed and he smiled.

"I need to, um, run to the bathroom to relieve some tension. I won't be long," he said as he started to get up.

"Are you going to…"

"Jerk off? Fuck yes. But I practically came from watching you, so it won't take long."

He was gone before I could stop him and I wanted to follow him, help him like he had me, but I knew if I stood, my legs would be unsteady. I rested my head against the seat and watched the bathroom door, knowing what he was doing behind it. I could almost see him with his pants around his thighs, his cock in his hand with his head thrown back as he furiously pumped himself. He would probably come in the sink, shooting his load as he grunted through his orgasm. When the door opened and he walked out, his cheeks were pink and his eyes were dark. He smiled at random strangers as he made his way back to his seat and sat down.

"Better?"

"Much. But I'm still fucking you senseless all night."

Groaning, I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. They didn't open again until Jasper woke me up as we were approaching Seattle.

The elevator doors opened at his floor, and I let him step off first, watching his fine ass as he walked down the hallway. He pulled his keys out and unlocked his door, glancing at me over his shoulder. Pushing it open, he walked in and held it with his foot while I entered. He tossed the keys on the table and set his bag down.

"Home sweet home," he sighed.

Turning, I walked to him and took his face into my hands. "Hey, don't be like that. We're still us, no matter where we are. I'm still madly in love with you."

He smiled and nodded. "I know. I just really liked it there. Reality sucks."

"Yeah it does."

"We should go, the sooner we check on Riley the sooner I can fuck you."

A shiver went up my spine. Jasper smirked and ran to the bathroom, stripping his shirt off as he went. I heard the water running and then he returned with a tee shirt and leather jacket. Seeing me eye him, he strode over to me and took me into his arms, mashing his lips to mine and plunging his tongue into my mouth. When he felt my hands under his tee shirt, he pulled back for a second before kissing me again, even harder.

"Riley can wait," he murmured into the kiss.

"He'll understand," I agreed as I unzipped my pants impatiently. I needed his cock in my ass immediately.

Fingers move quickly, buttons were undone and cotton was tugged over heads. The kisses never ceased, our lips only parted when we had to pull a shirt off. We were shirtless with our pants undone and Jasper took my hand to lead me to his bedroom. By the look of desire in his eyes, I knew Riley probably wouldn't be seeing us at all that night. Just as Jasper laid me on his bed, there was a knock at his door. Hanging his head, Jasper called out over his shoulder.

"Fuck off, Riley. I'll call you tomorrow." Jasper began to pull my pants off. "I want to fuck you so bad right now."

The knocking continued.

"Going to fucking kill him," he sighed. "Riley, tomorrow!" Looking back at me, he palmed my cock and licked his lips. "Now where were we…"

The knocking got louder.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Rile!"

There was a muffled reply and Jasper stilled.

"Fucking hell. I'll be right back," he said and left the room. Standing, I pulled my pants up and followed him, a little excited to see Riley myself. I arrived just in time to see Jasper open the door.

"What the fuck," he gasped.

"Hey, Blondie," a voice replied. It most definitely wasn't Riley.

Jasper leaned out the doorway, looking down the hallway. "What the fuck are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"Um…can I come in?"

Jasper looked at me and then opened the door. The boy that entered was young, tall and thin. He had brown hair and looked slightly familiar. Maybe it was the dirty, torn clothes and greasy hair that they all seemed to have. Jasper didn't introduce us as the kid eyed me suspiciously.

"He cool, man?"

"Yeah, he's cool. How the fuck did you find me?" Jasper's voice had grown urgent, sharp. There was something dark in him that I hadn't heard before, and I felt myself taking a step back. The kid shifted his weight back and forth nervously as his bloodshot eyes darted around Jasper's apartment.

"Don't even fucking think about it," Jasper warned him, but of what, I wasn't sure.

Though I was sure the guy was high.

"Rick, why the fuck are you here?"

"Riley."

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Sorry, I know it's awful to leave it there, but the rest has to be told by Jasper.

M&A was nominated for a Golden Lemon Award for "Best Group Sex" (R/J/E DP outtake). Please support all the slash fics nominated. Let's show the canon peeps that two peens can have fuckhot lemons too!

So…need to vent? Rant? Yell at me? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter theslashawards


	29. There's a Storm Blowing Up

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- My apologies for the cliffhanger last chapter, but this really needed to be told by Jasper. As much as Edward adores Riley, he is Jasper's boy.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story. When we started a year ago, I never expected to have so many on alert or reviewing. It blows my mind, so thank you all!

Thank you to OftheDamned for her beta on this chapter.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"Riley."

I threw my arms up. "Fucking addicts," I mumbled to myself. "What about Riley?"

"He gave me this address a few weeks ago, told me to memorize it. I tried to tell him that I dropped out of med school so I didn't have to memorize shit anymore, ya know? I mean those tests were fucking harder than hell, but I was good at them. Well, until the drugs. Then they just kinda took over and I got all spacey and shit, couldn't remember my own fucking name much less the parts of a body. Those fucking words made no sense, but th-"

Lunging forward, I fisted his shirt and shook him hard. He didn't even react quickly enough to put his hands up in self defense. "Ricky, what the fuck is going on? Why the hell are you here?"

"Jesus, man, don't fuck up the goods. Fuck, you get off the streets and you get all fucking stressed out," he complained, annoyed with me.

"I'm going to kick your ass if you don't fucking tell me why you're here?" I growled impatiently. If something was wrong, I fucking needed to know right then.

"Riley gave me this address, told me that if anything ever happened to him, I was supposed to come tell you."

Immediately, I released my hold on him and stumbled backwards, my chest heaving as it struggled to gulp in air.

_Riley_.

My heart literally stopped.

"What happened?" I asked with a shaky voice, gone was the rage from only a few seconds before.

"I tried to fix him, man, I swear, but there was internal bleeding, I'm sure of it. I couldn't stop it. I mean I don't have the right tools for that shit. He needed surgery, and probably a chest tube. Sutures, I can do, but fucking surgery? My place isn't sterile enough for that shit."

"Internal bleeding?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I mean the surface abrasions I could deal with. But from the discoloring on his side, I think his spleen had ruptured. His lungs were definitely punctured because he had at least two broken ribs and could barely breathe. His jaw was pretty fucked up too, but it wasn't broken. However, there were facial contusions around one of his eyes, pretty sure there was an orbital fracture as well."

Ricky was far from an actual doctor, but he'd completed three years of med school, and drug addict or not, he knew the what the fuck he was talking about it. Which was exactly what scared me.

"Is he dead?" I whispered, my mind already reeling with denial and fury if it was true.

_Riley._

"I tried to stop the bleeding with pressure and shit, but he needed surgery. Like fucking STAT. I've never seen anyone that close to death before. Well, other than someone that is actually, ya know, dead. Pale as a fucking ghost, barely breathing, hardly a pul-"

"IS HE DEAD?" I yelled desperately.

Edward stepped closer and I was vaguely aware of his hands on me, one on my arm and the other on my lower back. His touched soothed some of the fear that readily flowed through my body, igniting a survival instinct I hadn't felt in months. His touch also reminded me that it wasn't a dream, reality had thundered back into our lives, whether we were ready for it or not.

"I don't know," Ricky replied. "When I was taking his clothes off to examine him, I found a phone in his pocket. He probably jacked it off a john. I called nine-one-one and they came and took him."

"Where?"

"The big hospital on ninth."

"Harborview?" I asked as I pulled my tee shirt back on and grabbed my jacket. I had to go, I had to get to him. I had to find out if he was alive…or dead.

"Yeah, I think that's what they said."

"When?"

"When what?" he asked, completely confused.

"When did this happen?"

"Oh. I found him unconscious in the alley about two last night. I had a few guys carry him to the docks where my shit is. He started to regain consciousness so I gave him some sedatives to dull the pain and keep him calm while I checked him over. He was babbling the entire time, kept repeating your name over and over, something about how he should have listened to you and how proud he was of you. I came by earlier but you weren't home."

"Do you need a ride?" I asked Ricky as I grabbed my keys from the table.

"Nah, I'm good. Got my limo waiting downstairs," he joked, heading for the door. "It was good to see you, Blondie. You got quite the place. Riley told me you did, but I didn't believe him. The guy was always making shit up."

_Was._

Ricky was assuming Riley had died, confirming what I already suspected.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I closed the door behind him, and then turned back to Edward.

"Edward," I began, but he put up a hand.

"Let me get dressed. We'll go together." Before I could say no, he ran to my room and returned with his shoes. After they were on, he slipped on his shirt and jacket, doing up the buttons as he looked at me. "What the fuck is going on?"

Slowly I brought my eyes to his. "It's because of me," I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"What's because of you?"

Ignoring him, I turned and walked out the door, knowing he would follow. He ran to keep up with me as I jogged down the hall to the elevator and through the lobby. It was only because I had to wait for a cab to pull up to the sidewalk that he had been able to catch up with me. He took my hand into his, clasping it tightly until a cab pulled up. Not speaking, he held the door for me as I climbed in and waited for him. The cab was cold and dark, and other than Edward telling the driver what hospital, it was completely silent. I knew Edward had questions he wasn't asking. Not that I would have answered them anyway. I was grateful for the touch, even if it didn't make me feel any better, as he held my hand on the vinyl between us, trying to reassure me that everything was going to be okay.

He was wrong.

If Riley was in the hospital, even for an hour, it was because of my selfishness and irresponsibility, and there was nothing okay about that.

Staring out of the window, I watched the lights and cars and buildings go by, not really seeing any of them. No matter what I looked at, how bright or big it was, all I saw was a beaten Riley dying in the alley.

"Hey," he whispered next to me. "He's going to be okay."

The voice was not the one I was hearing in my head, the one whispering to me that I had let everyone down. The voice was deeper, smoother, and full of nothing but love and concern. Not a hint of guilt seeped into the words that Edward spoke, but I felt it regardless.

"You don't fucking know that," I said quietly, keeping my gaze on the city outside the car. He squeezed my hand and I sighed, finally turning to him. "Sorry."

"It's okay," he tried to smile.

Not able to face the fear that clouded Edward's eyes, I quickly turned back to the window. It was hard to believe it had only been a few hours since we had boarded a plane in Boston, holding hands and laughing, since I had given him a handjob and talked dirty to him while people moved around us. The bubble we had lived in for the weekend had been destroyed, smashed by a reality brought on because of me.

The cab pulled up in front of a large building, two actually, attached via a glass bridge suspended over the parking lot. The driver stopped but as I reached for my wallet, Edward handed the driver a twenty then opened the door. He waited for me and we headed into the main entrance through a set of automatic doors. It was one of the most confusing things I'd ever seen. I'd never been in a hospital before and really had no fucking clue where to go. There were signs and people everywhere, some looked like they might be doctors or nurses, others must have been workers of some kind because they had hospital IDs hanging on their uniforms. There were some patients in a room to the side, one holding a towel to his head, another limping to a chair, and a crying baby in the corner. I searched each face, hoping that one would be hidden behind long, brown hair.

But none of them were Riley.

"Edward…" I began, but was unable to continue, growing more anxious with each stranger I saw. He knew what I was asking and squeezed my hand comfortingly.

"Come on," he said, ignoring the circular information desk in front of us and leading me down the hall before stopping in front of an elevator. Confused, I watched him push the button, and then tug my hand as the doors opened and he walked on. Once inside, he pressed another button. We stood next to each other, neither of us saying a word.

All I felt was his hand in mine, his thumb constantly brushing over my skin.

The doors slid open and Edward got off, pulling me with him. He led me down another short hall, passing other visitors and what appeared to be doctors. I didn't know any other than Ricky, but I had seen some on television, and they always wore ties and long, white coats. Habitually, my eyes scanned the surroundings: the shelves of stuff against the wall, wheeled machines of some kind near a corner, and a few chairs with a vending machine between them was in an area with a tall window. What struck me most was the scent. I had smelled some pretty bad shit on the streets, but the hospital was just as potent. There was a bitter, ugly stench of death in the air. It was one I was too familiar with.

I don't know how, but Edward seemed to know exactly where he was going. There was activity all around us, but I barely heard anything, all the sounds had been muffled by my own pounding heart.

"Where are we?"

"ICU," he replied, and then clarified. "Intensive Care Unit. It's where critically injured or sick people go. Also if they've had surgery, sometimes they come here after recovery so they can be closely monitored."

I had absolutely no fucking clue what he said, I had only heard injured and critical. Edward stopped when we came to long counter with several women behind it. A few were standing and looking at papers, another was on the phone, and the one that Edward spoke to was sitting in front of a computer.

"We're here to see Riley Biers," Edward said confidently. I looked at him, shocked that he knew Riley's last name.

The woman typed on the keyboard and then without looking at Edward, spoke. "He's in room five-twenty. Are you family?" Her voice was cold and held no emotion, but I still felt relieved at the words she said.

Riley was there. He must be alive.

"No, friends," Edward answered in smooth, calm voice.

"I'm sorry but only family is allowed to see patients in ICU."

Dropping Edward's hand, I started looking down the different hallways for directions to Riley's room. When I spotted a sign on the corner that listed his room number, I started walking that way.

"Excuse me, where are you going?" the woman behind the desk asked.

"To see him."

"I'm sorry, you can't do that. You're not family."

Stopping, I turned to her. Suddenly enraged, I took two large strides back to her desk, and before Edward could stop me, leaned over it.

"Listen, bitch, he doesn't have any fucking family," I spat at her. "Because his fucking family threw him out at fifteen when they found out he liked dick. I AM his family now, and I am going to see him."

Stunned, she stared at me fucking wide-eyed behind her thick glasses, her double chin hanging slack from her dropped jaw. She went to speak, but I stopped her by slamming my fist on the counter, shaking her computer monitor.

"Not you or anyone else is going to stop me," I threatened her in a low growl.

"Jasper," Edward murmured in my ear.

There were hands on me, one tugged on my coat while an arm curved around my middle. Furious, I fought the hold, pushing papers and other fucking office shit off the counter as his steel arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms uselessly to my sides.

"Cunt," I sneered at the woman, the corner of my lip curling up at her pompous ass even as I was being dragged backwards by Edward. "Get your fucking hands off me."

I thrashed against the solid grasp as I was yanked away from the desk. Regardless of my struggle, I was pulled around the corner where it was dark and quiet. We were alone and Edward pushed me hard against a wall. Forcing his knee between my legs, his hands went to my shoulders to still me. My entire body shook in anger and frustration.

"Ssshhh," he repeated over and over, but I wasn't sure why. In the distance, I heard someone sobbing, almost wailing in agony, and I struggled against Edward's hold. Things around me shifted, moving in and out of my vision as my eyes darted around. Being confined, held down against my will, wasn't something I was comfortable with, and I felt the panic rising inside me.

I had to get to Riley, I had to save him.

"It's my…fault…I…have to…see him…." I gasped, my breaths short and quick, interrupted by my staggered words. The cries had softened slightly, but I still heard the sobs and quiet pleas for help. "Have to….help…Riley…needs me. My fault…all my…"

The words were broken and clumsy, my mind a tangled mess of guilt and fear and images of my friend alone and crying for me. He needed me, he was calling for me and I couldn't get to him.

"I know, love, I know, but you need to calm down first."

When I finally brought my eyes back to Edward, he was watery and unfocused. Squeezing my eyes shut for a second, I tried to clear my vision but it was still blurry when I opened them.

"Jasper," Edward whispered, his fingers brushing the hair back from my face before cupping my cheek. His thumb gently swiped over my skin, just under my eye and I realized it was it damp. There was more sobbing in the distance, and guilt wracked my body with violent shaking.

Riley needed me, he was alone and crying for me.

"It's okay," Edward coaxed me with his voice. "Ssshhh…"

Somehow my hands reached for him and tightly fisted his jacket, desperately keeping him close. My body fed off his touch, his very presence reaching deep inside me to ease the searing pain. As I calmed, so did distant cries for help. Taking a deep breath, I licked my lips, tasting the salt on them.

That's when I realized the sobbing wasn't coming from Riley, but from much closer.

Me.

"Breath, just breathe," Edward told me, his hands moving soothingly over my face and shoulders until my breaths began to even out. Putting his forehead to mine, he held me, staring into my eyes. Gradually, my heart slowed and the sobs faded to silent tears streaming down my cheeks. "Let me go talk to them. It's what I do. Okay?"

I was completely out of my element, and Edward was completely immersed in his. I took in deep gulps of air, absorbing what strength he had to share before I finally nodded.

"I'll be right back," he promised. "Wait right here."

He turned and left me. As soon as he wasn't there to hold me up, my body slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. Bringing my knees up, I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head on them. Without Edward's touch, the sobs returned as my mind churned with what had happened. Pressing the heels of my palms to my clenched eyes, I tried to rid them of the visions behind my closed lids.

Riley's lifeless body lying on the dark, wet ground, a bone protruding from his skin as it was bent backward against the cold brick wall behind him. Open, empty eyes surrounded by blood and bruises as they stared at me, silently asking me why I didn't save him. His neck twisted unnaturally, gaping wounds covering his upper body, blood seeping from the holes left behind, holes I might as well have put in him myself. There were torn clothes, his body exposed for everyone to see.

For years, I had cared about no one but myself. I didn't have to. I had never been responsible for anyone else. I had never looked out for anyone, not even Mark. The only thing I had protected him from was getting raped. I had never stopped the other kids from bullying him, or stealing his food or things from his cot. I didn't give a fuck about him or anyone else, until Riley. There was just something about him. At first, I hadn't trusted him, but then he'd saved me from being arrested and our bond grew from there. I'd never known a friend like him, and after all the times he'd saved my ass on the street, I'd still left him.

I should have fucking known better.

I should have paid James. I should have stayed in Seattle. I should have told Edward no. Riley had told me to go, he had said Edward needed it, he had told me it was okay.

But he'd been wrong.

Bringing my fingers to my mouth, I could almost feel Riley's lips on mine, always willing and surprisingly soft. I could almost feel the heat of his body, hear the flirtation in his voice, see the sparkle in his eyes. The last image I had of him was him standing in the hotel robe as he winked at me when I walked out the door. The image flitted in and out of my mind, warped with the one of him dead in the alley until they merged into one and he was lifeless in the hotel.

"No, no, no…." I muttered into my knees, rocking my body back and forth. "No place like home, no place like-"

"Hey," Edward said from above me, and I lifted my head, unashamedly showing him my pain. He sighed and crouched down next to me, placing a hand on my knee. "Jas, it's okay. I've got some information, but I need you to stay calm."

Wiping my eyes, I exhaled and nodded.

"Riley had surgery and is listed in critical condition. That kid was right, his spleen had been ruptured, and they removed the damaged part. One of his lungs was punctured by a broken rib, and he was having difficulty breathing on his own because the lung was filling up with blood. They drained the blood and inserted a chest tube to help inflate his lung, but they put him in a ventilator to help his breathing. His left wrist was broken in a few places and an orthopedic surgeon was called in to repair it."

I heard every word he said, but I understood very few of them.

"He's alive though?" I asked quietly, my entire body trembling during the second it took him to reply.

Gnawing on his bottom lip, he nodded. "For now. The doctor said surgery was touch and go a few times, he crashed once but they brought him back quickly-"

"Crashed?"

"His heart stopped-"

"Oh, Jesus…no…"

"Jasper, he's okay. He actually seems to be pretty stable at the moment, but he's heavily sedated."

"He's sleeping?"

"Yes. The breathing tube is uncomfortable and they don't want him to panic. He won't wake up until they take him off the medication."

"Can I see him?" I choked out. "I need to see him, Edward."

"I was able to get you five minutes with him, but that's all I could get right now."

Relieved, I began pushing myself up the wall until I was standing. Edward rose with me, his hands on my waist under my jacket supporting me until I was steady.

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"Yeah."

"It's down this way," he said, pointing to the area he had dragged me from. As we walked by the counter, the woman I had yelled at glared at me. Edward led me down the long corridor, past patient rooms, vending machines, and another set of elevators. "Here." He stopped in front of a half opened door with the number five-twenty on it.

"He's in there?"

Edward nodded and I took a deep breath before pushing the door all the way open and stepping inside. It was dark except for a glow coming from the other side of the room. There wasn't much in there, just a bed on wheels and a chair. Hanging from the ceiling was a curtain that shielded Riley from my view, but I could hear beeping, clicking and heavy breathing noises. Glancing at Edward for support, I walked slowly toward the bed. My feet felt heavy as I dragged them across the shiny floor. Reaching the end of the curtain, I looked at everything but him. There were machines everywhere, on wheels beside his bed, hanging from the wall behind him, and they all appeared to be attached to him in some way, by tubes or wires. Some machines had screens with numbers blinking on them; another was like a balloon that filled rhythmically. I briefly focused on the machines to avoid looking at him, avoid seeing the damage I had caused.

My eyes started at his feet under the plain blanket before slowly moving up his legs to his upper body. He was dressed in a blue and white paisley shirt, but it had fallen down his shoulder, exposing his chest where there were small white disks attached to his skin, the wires from them running back to one of the machines next to the bed. Inserted into his skin just above his right wrist was a needle, the tubing from it leading to a few bags of clear fluid hanging from a rack beside him. Relieved, I watched his chest rise and fall with each breath, realizing the timing matched the balloon machine that was attached to him via a thick tube that went into his mouth, held there by a few pieces of white tape. His parted lips were chapped and puffy. Bruises covered his jaw, as well as around an eye that was swollen shut. The cuts on his face were small and uncovered, except for one gash along the hairline at his temple that was stitched. His hair was dirty and matted, and where he wasn't bruised, his skin was pale, lacking all color of life. There didn't seem to be any part of him that was uninjured or unmarked.

He didn't look anything like my Riley.

He looked like guilt and fear and rage.

I didn't hear Edward move closer behind me but I felt him there. "Can I touch him?"

"Sure."

Standing next to Riley, I hesitantly reached out, touching the back of his right hand with the tips of my fingers before finally laying my hand over his and grasping it. Bowing my head, I closed my eyes and felt the tears fall from my cheeks onto our clasped hands. I waited, expecting him to open his eyes and tell me how hot his doctor was or bitch at me for leaving him.

But he didn't do either of those.

He just lay there, completely still except for his rhythmic breaths.

"You can talk to him. He can't respond, but he might hear you," Edward encouraged.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my eyes, and looked at Riley's closed ones, wanting nothing more than to see those mischievous brown eyes glaring at me. "I'm sorry," I whispered to his battered body.

I swear I could hear his reply, mumbled words of telling me to fuck off and I had nothing to be sorry for. He would never let me take the credit for his condition. He would blame himself even if it wasn't his fault. It was how Riley coped, he knew what he was, he admitted it, he lived it, and almost died it. Distancing yourself from everyone else made dealing with a shitty life easier. It was once you began letting in other people that you gave yourself a reason to live, that you starting wanting something else, some more, better, even if you had no right to it.

I was lost in the turmoil that floated around before me. It shrouded me, cloaking me from my surroundings until I saw and heard nothing but the boy in the bed. I never wavered from his side, standing vigil over him as long as they would allow me to.

"We have to go," Edward said urgently. As quiet as he was, I flinched at the sound of his voice, having forgotten he was there.

"I don't want to."

"I know, love, but we have to or else they won't let you in again later," his velvet voice reasoned.

Nodding, I sighed. "I'll be right out."

I don't know if Edward left or not, and it didn't matter if he was there to hear me, it wouldn't have changed what I said, or what I knew.

It was different than how I felt about Edward, but it wasn't any less powerful. Now that I had recognized the pull for Edward as love, I had also been able to put a name on the urge I had for Riley. It was what made me protective of him, what made me want to help him all that I could.

It was love.

"I love you, Rile," I whispered to him softly before leaning over and kissing the one spot on his forehead that wasn't bruised or cut. "I promise I'm going to fix this."

All his bitching and complaining, all the nights he had held me when Edward had been gone, that he had offered his used body to distract me from my pain, were all proof of what I already knew - that in his own fucked up way, Riley loved me too.

Turning, I saw Edward standing guard at the door, holding his hand out to me. I took it and let him lead me out the door and down another long hallway. Numbly, I followed him, not paying attention to what we passed or where we were going. He turned one more corner and then pushed open a door, pulling me through. It was tiny room with a few chairs and a couch against the wall. There was a lamp on one table and magazines on another. In the corner was a small television, and there were two windows on the far wall. Edward went to the couch, never releasing me even when he sat down, the vinyl creaking under his weight.

"Come here," he said. I joined him, sitting right next to him and laying my head on his shoulder, entwining our fingers tightly.

"What's this place?"

"A waiting room for people with family in ICU. It's a little more private than the hallway."

"Thank you," I murmured. Instead of replying, he squeezed my hand and kissed my temple.

Minutes, maybe hours, passed. There was no comprehension of time, in the end nothing changed, Riley was hurt, I was to blame. We were silent except for the occasional sigh or quiet sob from me. No matter how many times I closed opened my eyes, the image of Riley's injured body haunted me. What I wouldn't have given to have him there next to Edward whispering dirty, suggestive thoughts in his ear.

Every time I thought about what I was going to do, Edward would shift his weight or kiss my head, reminding me he was there for me. More than once I turned my head into his shoulder and let the tears flow. He would curve an arm around my back, holding me to him until my eyes ran dry. Just like on the whale rock, he did exactly what I needed him to do.

He was just there.

He pulled me down to his lap, my head resting on his thighs while I stretched my legs out on the stiff couch. Gently his fingers worked through my curls, patiently separating them before threading through them and starting over again. The movement was soothing and my heart calmed, but the ache was still there. My mind began to clear under his constant reassurance, and questions that I had pushed aside earlier came back to me.

"How did you know he was in ICU?"

"I called the hospital from the cab."

"I didn't even hear you on the phone," I admitted sadly, realizing just how distracted I had been on the way there. "How did you know what to do when you got here?"

"I've dealt with a lot of doctors in my work so I know how to talk to them. They require a certain respect. If you give it to them, they're more willing to give you what you want."

_His work._ I still wasn't exactly sure what Edward did for work, other than deal with other companies that made or sold drugs. He had tried to explain it a few times, but it never made any sense to me.

"Is this a hospital you work with?"

"No, actually this hospital is contracted with a competitor of mine," he almost laughed. "Do you want a coffee?"

My stomach churned at the thought of putting anything in it, but I nodded anyway. I sat up, dropping my head to the back of the couch when Edward got up. He disappeared out the door, and I watched it swing closed before shutting my eyes. The darkness was plagued by flashes of Riley, and I snapped my eyes open before the ache returned. Edward had been gone only seconds and already I was falling apart. He returned a few minutes later with two cups of coffee, creams, sugars and a few things from a vending machine. He handed me my coffee and a bag of cookies.

"Sorry, the cafeteria is closed," he apologized, sitting next to me.

"It's okay, I'm not hungry."

"Love, you need to eat."

"Later," I grumbled as I took the cover off my coffee and poured in cream. "When can I see him again?"

"They said you could have five minutes every four hours. They are supposed to come get us if there is a change in his condition."

"Like if he dies?"

"Or gets better," he countered hopefully.

"Do people like him ever get better?"

"Sure, people recovery from injuries like his all the time."

"Rich people. People like you. Not people like us. Riley's a nobody. No one cares if he lives or dies."

"You do. I do."

Sighing heavily, I sipped my coffee. "We're the only ones. These people here don't know him, they don't care about him."

"You're right, they don't know him, but it's their job to care. They will do everything they can to help him. They won't let him go without a fight," he promised.

"I'm scared, baby. I don't know what to do," I whispered.

"Just be strong, just like you always are."

I finished about half my coffee before my stomach decided it had had enough. I put the cup and cookies on the table and lay back in Edward's lap. Immediately his fingers returned to my hair, and under his tender touch and the warmth of his lap under my head, I found my eyes closing before I could stop them. I swear I saw Riley standing in front of me wearing nothing but a smile.

"**~~**"

The shaking was gentle, but persistent.

"Jasper, wake up."

Prying my eyes open, I looked around and tried to figure out where the fuck I was before panic set in. I felt the roughness of Edward's jeans under my cheek, and I turned to look up at him. He looked down at me sympathetically, his emerald eyes darkened with worry.

Then it all came back and I bolted upright.

"Is he okay? Oh my God, is-"

"Ssh, he's stable. They just said you can go see him for a few minutes."

I sat up and stretched my arms above my head, twisting my body side to side. Standing, I went to the door and opened it. Edward was still sitting on the couch. At some point he had taken off his jacket and it was on the couch next to him, his winkled shirt was untucked. He looked exhausted, his eyes were half closed and his hair was even messier than usual.

"Are you coming?"

He smiled at my question, but shook his head. "Not this time, you go spend some time alone with him. Can you find your way?"

"Yeah, I think so," I answered, but wasn't really sure.

"Five minutes, Jasper," he reminded me. "Any longer than that and they won't let you back in."

Nodding, I walked out and headed down the corridor. The deserted halls were like a fucking maze and I got lost twice before finding Riley's room. Pushing it open, I entered and slowly walked to his bed. Nothing had changed, he was still attached to machines, still beaten, still asleep. Night had fallen and his room was even darker than before. There were large windows and moonlight shined through them, giving Riley an ironic angelic glow. Glancing behind me to make sure I was alone, I covered his hand with mine, my fingers wrapping around his. There was no reaction, no holding my hand back, no twitch of his eyebrow or smirk on his lips.

"Rile?" I whispered. "Can you hear me?"

No sound but the ventilator next to his bed.

"Edward says you might be able to hear me, and I hope you can, because I need to apologize. I'm so sorry I left. It was wrong, I was wrong. I should have stayed here with you. I should have been here. I know you're going wake up and tell me it wasn't my fault, but we both know it was. I never told you…"

Unable to face him, even in his unconsciousness, I looked away from his bruised face, training my eyes on our hands instead.

"I'm not paying James for the missed pay anymore. I'm paying him because he threatened to hurt you if I didn't. He raised the amount because he knows how much you mean to me. I've given him a shitload already, but he still wants more. He knew I'd pay it because he knows I want to keep you safe. I hate to say it, but he's right. I would have paid it all, and more if needed to. But then I left and fucked it all up. You were supposed to be safe at the hotel. I should have known better. It was selfish to go. If you get through this, I swear, I will never leave you again."

Sighing, I hung my head. While my heart ached for Riley, it warmed because of Edward. He had come with me to the hospital, talked to the doctors, and gotten me in to see Riley. He had done it all without questions or hesitation.

He had done it all because he loved me.

"Edward told me he loves me, Rile. Someone loves _me_, a whore. Remember all those nights we talked at the docks? Remember how you told me about fairy tales and how they all had princes? He's my prince. He saved me. I have no idea how," I chuckled, "but he did."

Somehow a business man from Chicago had saved a whore from Seattle. There had been no magic kiss or glass slipper. Instead he had saved me with his heart and words of promise. It was because of him that I realized what happiness and love were. If Edward had saved me so effortlessly, without even trying, I wondered if he could save others. I wondered if he could save Riley.

"I gotta go, sweetheart. They won't let me see you again if I stay too long, but I'll be back as soon as they let me. I love you," I murmured before kissing his forehead and releasing his hand. Turning, I headed for the door, and to talk to Edward.

When I entered the waiting room, I found him asleep. Sitting up, his head was resting against the back of the couch, his mouth hanging open as he snored quietly. The warmth in my chest spread throughout me, touching every single nerve until my entire body was tingling with the sensation of a million little pulls, all guiding me to him. I sat next to him, curling my body to his, feeling the pulls gradually relaxing at his nearness. Laying my head on his shoulder, I closed my eyes. The steady sounds of his breaths lulled me and I drifted off to sleep.

"_Fuck you. There's no such thing," I scoffed, shoving his shoulder with my hand. He handed me the half empty wine bottle and shrugged. Our feet dangled off the edge of the pier as we stared out over the ocean._

"_Swear to fucking God, Blondie. There was one in every fucking story. They swooped in and saved the damsel in distress every fucking time."_

"_How?" I put the bottle to my lips and gulped, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand before handing it back to him. _

"_I don't fucking know. They always rode white horses though. I think it was usually a kiss, like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Oh, but there was one that wasn't a kiss." He laughed. "He saved her with a fucking glass slipper."_

"_A what?"_

"_A slipper. Well, technically it was a shoe. Anyway, she had a bitchy stepmother and was supposed to stay home and clean the house, but her fairy godmother helped her sneak out to go to a party but there was a catch. She had to be home by midnight. She met this dude Prince Charming at the party and they were getting it on when the clock struck midnight. She ran out, but lost a shoe on the way. Prince Charming chased her, but she was too fast. He found the shoe but didn't know her name so he to go to everyone's house to find her. When he did, he took her away from her horrible family and they lived happily ever after."_

"_Bullshit," I chuckled. "There's no such thing."_

"_Sure there is. I think," he challenged weakly. "I mean, if it can work for out Cinderfuckingrella, why not us?" _

"_Were there any hookers in those stories?"_

"_Nope, just some ugly stepsisters and evil witches." He finished off the bottle and put in on the wood next to him. _

"_No evil pimps?"_

_He shook his head, laughing. He was quiet for a few moments, his eyes never wavering from the view, his brows creased as he thought. "Someday, Jasper. Someday we'll meet our princes who will save us from this life." He looked at me and licked his lips. "Until then, we can fuck each other's brains out."_

"_Deal," I agreed, my stomach rumbling loudly. "Was there any food where you found that?" I pointed to the bottle. _

"_No. But I managed to get these from the restaurant on sixth." He pulled out three rolls and handed one to me. "Oh, and I stole these from a vendor for you." He grinned, showing me two apples._

"_Sweet, thanks," I smiled, taking one from him. "Haven't had an apple in forever." We ate the rolls, but I put the apple in my pocket for the next day. _

"_I'm fucking tired," Riley yawned, shaking his head. "Wanna head inside? Get a few hours of sleep before we hit the route?"_

_Nodding, I stood up and waited for him. He brushed the crumbs off his shirt and into his hand before tossing the small pieces into his mouth. We walked into the building behind us, Riley leading the way up the stairs to the third floor where we spent most of our down time. I paid no attention to the few people we passed, instead keeping my eyes on the boy in front of me. Riley went up the last flight and turned the corner, heading into a large, empty room. He went right to the widow in the far corner and kneeled, glancing over his shoulder to make sure we were alone. Pulling a piece of wood away from the wall, he reached into a hole and tugged out a thin blanket, handing it to be me before grabbing another. After, he replaced the wood and spread his blanket on the floor. _

"_Where did you get these?"_

"_Jacked them from a store yesterday, I hid them so no one finds them."_

"_Smart guy."_

"_Fucking Einstein," he said, before looking up at me. "He was a really smart guy. Invented some shit I think. Come here." He lay down, facing the door so no one could sneak up on us, and patted the blanket. Lying down next to him, I laid the other blanket over us both. I pressed my chest to his back, draping an arm around his waist before closing my eyes. He covered my hand with his and moved closer to me for body heat. "See? Happily fucking ever after," he murmured. _

"_I hope my prince is better looking than you," I sighed. _

"_Fuck off. I'm the best ass you'll ever have and you know it."_

_I was still smiling when I fell asleep. _

I felt Edward's hand in my hair before I opened my eyes, almost convincing myself into believing I wasn't in the hospital. My body ached from the position and I turned my head, trying to burrow into his body for a few more precious seconds before facing the stark reality of where we were.

"You awake?"

I nodded and yawned. "What time is it?"

"About three. We should go home for a few hours, love, get some rest and come back after some sleep and breakfast."

"No," I snapped. "I'm not leaving him."

Sighing, he nodded and squeezed my hand. "I'll be right back."

He stood up and left, but was only gone a few minutes before returning with two more coffees and a blanket. After he turned off the light, the room was lit only by the glow from the hallway that filtered in through the window. I took one of the coffees and thanked him as he sat down next to me and unfolded the blanket. The coffee was warm as it flowed down my throat, but even after adding a few sugars, it lacked any taste. When I was done, I put it on the table.

"Lay down," he directed and I did, placing my head on his lap again. He spread the blanket over me, pulling it up to my shoulders. "If you're going to stay, you need sleep."

There was so much I wanted to say to him, to thank him for, but I all I managed was a weak 'love you' before his touch coaxed me into a light sleep.

It wasn't much later that I woke up again because I sensed we weren't alone, and I was right. Jumping upright, I squinted in the dark to see a female figure standing the doorway.

"Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes?" Edward replied, his voice thick with sleep.

"You can go in for another five minutes."

"How are his vitals?"

"Stable."

"What's he listed at?"

"He's still critical."

"Thanks," he replied and she left the room, the door closing behind her. "Go see him."

"Come with me, please."

He eyed me, his head tilting before he agreed. We walked out of the room and headed for Riley's. The hallways were eerily quiet as we passed room after room. Riley's door was partially opened and we entered, going right to his bedside. Edward stood on the opposite side as me, not hesitating to take Riley's casted hand into his.

"Hey, gorgeous," he began. "We're here."

I almost smiled at the tender way Edward moved Riley's hair off his face. He truly cared for Riley, perhaps differently than I did, but somehow Riley had worked himself into Edward's life. Edward risked his career every time he and I were together. If someone found out his secret his world could come crashing down, and I knew the extremes he went to make sure that didn't happen. Hell, I lived it with him. What I was about to ask would put his career in further jeopardy, and for someone he barely knew. I hoped that if he wouldn't do it for Riley, he would do it for me. The plan could backfire in so many ways, but the opportunity for Riley was worth the price. I just wasn't sure Edward would feel the same way.

"Edward?" He looked from Riley to me. "Will you help him?"

His brows furrowed and he glanced back at Riley again. "Jasper, there isn't anything I can do for him. I'm not a doctor."

"No, but you have access to what might help him." I paused, waiting to see if he understood what I was referring to. He thought for a moment before realizing what I meant and he shook his head.

"Not like that I don't."

"You own a drug company, are you telling me that you can get him what he needs?"

Edward sighed and closed his eyes. "It's not that easy. I can't just get them like that."

"But you know what would work, right? You know what would help him," I argued, trying to keep my voice down. Edward opened his eyes and tried to glare at me, but his sympathy won and his look softened.

"We have some that might help with the physical withdrawals, the aches and nausea. The rest would be up to him. But it depends on what he uses, what he's addicted to. The drug would only help for the heroin withdrawals."

"That's a start," I agreed quickly.

"Jasper, even if I can get it for him, and he takes it, it won't do any good unless he gets into rehab where he can get methadone on a regular basis. He needs more than what I can do for him to get clean."

"I will get him off the streets," I vowed. It was going to be my mission in life.

"How?"

"I don't know yet, but I will do whatever I have to. He can live with me," I offered desperately. There had been many reasons Riley didn't already live with me, his pride being one of them, but it was different now. His life had been endangered twice, I wasn't going to let him back on the streets.

"Love, he needs more than that, he needs therapy."

"I can't afford to pay for rehab, but I'll get him into some meetings or something. Just please, Edward, please help me. Help him," I begged. He looked down at Riley again, taking in the battered face, the tubes and machines that made sure Riley remained breathing.

"He's going to be pissed."

"I don't care. Once he's off the pain meds, he's going be in withdrawals, he's going to need something."

Edward slowly lifted his eyes from Riley to me. "He should have clonazepam to start. It'll help reduce convulsions and the shakes. Long term, we can get him on a mixture of buprenorphine and naltrex. They help with long term cravings. As for the coke and meth addiction, he's going to need therapy."

He finished, the knowledge he had spit out only a small portion of what I knew was inside him. Holding my gaze, I saw the conflict waging inside him, between what he knew was the right thing to do and what he was risking to do it. Defeated, he broke the stare and looked back down at our boy, trying to assure himself that he was making the right decision even if everything in him screamed no.

"I'll see what I can do," he said, resigned.

"Will you get into trouble?"

"I hope not."

"Thank you," I whispered in the dark room.

"We should go before they bitch at us." Leaning down, he kissed Riley's cheek before walking around the bed.

I did the same, only I kissed Riley's forehead and whispered, "I love you," before following Edward back to the waiting room. I sat on the couch, but Edward remained standing.

"I need to make a quick phone call."

"It's the middle of the night."

"I know, but if you want me to do this, I need to move fast," he replied, and without waiting for a response, left the room.

I pulled the blanket up over me and waited for Edward to get back. I never felt him return and sit next to me, or put his arm around me as he moved the blanket over us both, but I woke up with my head on his shoulder and his hand on my thigh.

Pulling my arm out from under the blanket, I checked the time. It was nearing six in the morning. Making sure Edward was covered, I got up and stretched before wandering down the hall to find the coffee vending machines. Sleepily, I shoved the money in the machine and waited while it spit coffee into a small Styrofoam cup. I got a second cup before grabbing sugars and cream from the table next to it and heading back to Edward. In my absence he had lain down on the couch, the blanket covering half of him. I put his coffee on the table and sat in the chair next to him, sipping my coffee and watching him sleep.

Part of my heart was lying on that couch, beating inside him. As much as he was mine, he owned me, body and soul.

The door swung open and I jumped, almost spilling my coffee.

"Are you Mr. Cullen?" a man in a white coat asked.

"No, he is."

"Can you tell him that Mr. Biers did well through the night and we're hoping to move him from critical to guarded later today? If he remains stable throughout the day, we will wean him off the sedatives tonight."

"Sure, thank you."

"I'll check in with him after rounds," he said before turning and leaving. Edward stirred at the sound and slowly opened his eyes.

"There was a doctor here, he said to tell you that Riley did well through the night and they are hoping to move him to guarded, whatever that means. If he does okay today, then they will start taking him off the sedatives. Oh, and there's a coffee for you."

"That's good news," he smiled, looking at beautiful as ever even though he hadn't showered and had barely slept. "We should eat, love. I'm hungry and you need food." He took his coffee and sipped.

Reluctantly, I agreed. He got up and worked the kinks from his muscles before folding the blanket and leaving it on the chair. He guided me to the cafeteria, where he ordered some fresh coffee, juice and a muffin. I grabbed a bagel with cream cheese and a glass of juice. We sat in a corner booth and as much as I had complained about eating, the food tasted good. Edward smiled as I practically inhaled my bagel and gulped my juice.

"I'm going to have to leave in a while to run an errand," he announced as he bit his muffin. "I shouldn't be long."

"Where are you going?"

"To get you what you need. I had to ask a huge favor of a colleague, but she pulled it off and the drug is at a clinic over on Broadway but I need to go pick it up. This drug isn't something they will give him here, not without a doctor's prescription."

"Even if he needs it?"

"Even then. They will get him well enough to leave and then send him on his way. You will have to give it to him on your own. I'll give you the directions, it's easy." He took a few more bites of his food.

"What time is your flight?"

"Ten, I think. I should get there about eight, probably have to leave here about six to make it on time. I need to swing by your place and the hotel too."

The hotel. I had no idea what kind of shape Rile had left the hotel in. If he had been discovered by James, the room might have been trashed.

Sensing my concern, Edward shook his head. "I'm sure it's fine, they would have called me if there was something wrong with it. The worst he probably did was drink the bar dry and steal a robe."

Smiling, I nodded, feeling lighter for first time since Ricky had showed up at my door. Though I was already worried about Edward leaving, after having him by my side for over a week, it was going to be difficult to be without him.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah."

"Let's head back upstairs, I want to talk to his doctor before I go."

We went up to Riley's floor and I went into the waiting room while Edward headed for counter to talk to the nurses. By the time he came in I was sitting on the couch with my eyes closed, memories of our weekend flashing through my head. Edward smelling the roses, the look on his face as he topped me, the way he held me on the rock, the way he listened and smiled and laughed.

"Hey." He stood in front of me. "They've definitely upgraded his condition. He's still in danger, but they're optimistic. Once they take out the tube and he is breathing on his own, they will probably upgrade him again. They said you can go in for a few minutes if you want. The clinic I need to go to opens in an hour, I'm going to swing by the hotel and your place before I go and meet you back here."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Probably a few hours, but I'll try to hurry."

I held out my hand. He glanced at it and smiled before taking it and letting me pull him to me, sitting him on my lap. Kissing his neck, I sighed.

"I don't want you to go back to Chicago."

"I don't want to either, but I have to. I'm already a day late."

"I know."

"I promise I'll come back this weekend. I'm going to book a flight for Friday afternoon."

Nodding against him, I closed my eyes, just feeling him close, his weight on my lap, his breath on my face. If I could have held him there forever, never letting him up, I would have.

"Thank you, baby, for taking care of everything here, and for, well, ya know."

He leaned his head to mine, our fingers entwining. "I hope it works." He swept his lips over mine a few times, never deepening the kiss before pulling away. "I have to go. I'll be back as soon as I can. Go see Riley, give him a kiss for me."

Smiling, I nodded. "Not sure his doctors will let me kiss him the way you want to."

"Probably not," he smiled.

Releasing my hand, he stood up and with one last look, left the room. I sat alone for a few minutes before pushing off the couch and going down to Riley's room. There was a nurse in there, and I stood near the door waiting while she finished her work. She touched him clinically, without any emotion or attachment, barely even looking at his face. She folded his blanket down and pulled his hospital robe up. My breath hitched when I saw the bruises surrounding his abdomen around the bandage that covered his incision. Harsh purple and blue covered his hip and thigh. I had been on the streets long enough to know the marks were from a pipe or something similar. He looked worse than he had after the gang rape.

Looking away, my jaw clenched and I felt the rage beginning to build in me again. "I'm going to fucking kill him," I muttered.

"Excuse me?" the nurse spoke up, not looking at me.

"Nothing, ma'am. Just talking to myself."

Absently, she nodded. Covering Riley back up, she wrote a few things down, she read the machines, adjusted some and then finally looked up at me.

"Don't stay long," she warned before walking by me and leaving.

As soon as the door closed, I moved to Riley's side, my hand covering his. His lips looked less swollen, as did the area around his eye, but the bruises were still dark, the colors blending into each other seamlessly. Leaning down, I kissed his forehead.

"That's from Edward. He had to run back to the hotel, but he'll be back later." I glanced behind me, making sure we were really alone. "Rile, we need to talk. You need help, sweetheart, and when you're out of here, I'm taking you home with me and you're staying there. I'm going to get you help."I waited for him to respond, open his eyes and then roll them at me. When he didn't I sighed. "Wake up, Rile. Talk to me, yell at me, do something…anything."

Silence.

The room was thick with it, and I fucking hated it. Without Edward there to keep me calm, my mind reeled with possibilities. What if Riley didn't wake up, what if the doctors were wrong, and his injuries were worse?

What if he died?

I didn't think I could stand not having Riley in my life. When I had been on the streets and thought I had nothing to live for, nothing that made me care whether or not I woke up the next day, Riley would say something that made me smile and things didn't seem so bad anymore. He'd been a staple in my life for the past few years. I'd seen him daily, fucked him every few days, and slept with him almost nightly…until Tanya had found me. My life had changed, and as much as I thought I wanted to leave my life on the streets behind, including Riley, he had forced his way back into it.

Life with Riley wasn't always easy, the scar on my hip was proof of that. There had been nights when he'd screwed me over, taken a john that was mine, or promised to split his take with me only to find out later that he spent it on drugs. I was probably foolish to forgive him when he showed up with a pocketful of meth instead of the food he had promised. He would shuffle his feet, look down at the floor and then shrug his shoulders before mumbling an apology.

Now I would give anything to see him do any of those things.

"I gotta go," I sighed to his still form. "I love you."

It was weak, it might not have even happened, but I swear his fingers twitched under my hand.

"Rile?" I asked hopefully. "Do that again."

Nothing.

"Rile, fucking do it again, move, damn it," I demanded.

Stillness.

Sighing, I squeezed his hand and then released it. Leaving his room, I headed back for the lounge to wait for Edward.

"**~~**"

"Okay, go over it one more time for me," I requested.

His luggage was on the floor while Edward sat next to me on the couch with two bottles of pills in his hands. He had returned almost two hours after he had left. While he was gone I had explored the hospital, even venturing to a floor where I saw a bunch of babies behind a glass window. I wondered what kind of lives they would have, would they be loved by their parents, would they end up on the streets like me or live a life of luxury like Edward? On my way back to the waiting room I found Edward in the hall, and had to resist running up and kissing him. Instead, I settled for a relieved grin.

"He needs to take both of these twice a day, preferably at the same time each day. This one will help with the convulsions and other physical withdrawals. This one," he said, holding up the other bottle, "is for the cravings. He can take them with or without food. If twice a day doesn't seem to help with the withdrawals or the cravings, then we can up them. There's enough here for a few weeks. We will deal with getting more when I return."

"I've got it," I nodded.

"You can call me if you have any questions, okay?"

I was just about to answer when the door opened and the same doctor from earlier entered.

"Mr. Cullen," he said, looking directly at Edward. "We're going to take out the breathing tube soon. If his condition continues to improve, I want to try to lower the sedatives later tonight."

"Great, thank you very much," Edward replied in that professional voice he had. As soon as the door closed, I looked at Edward.

"This is good, right?"

"Very good."

"He's going to be okay," I breathed, releasing the fears that had built up in me. I blinked away the tears of relief before they fell.

"Yeah, I think he is, but now comes the hard part, Jasper. You've got to get him to take these drugs, and into therapy."

"I will," I promised even though I had no fucking idea how I was going to do it. I just knew I had to. Riley's life depended on it. "How long until you have to leave?"

Edward pulled out his phone and glanced at it. "About four hours. Let's get some lunch."

Edward didn't wait for an answer, but took my hand and pulled me toward the door. His carryon was over his shoulder and the handle of his suitcase in his other hand. We went down to the cafeteria and went through the line. The good news about Riley had brought back my appetite and I grabbed a cheeseburger, onion rings, and a soda before trailing Edward to the same booth we had sat in earlier.

"Are you going to be okay this week while I'm gone?"

"Yeah. I'm going to miss you though."

"What about work?"

"I took tonight off when I asked for the weekend. I thought I might need a night to recover," I smiled. "I've got an appointment tomorrow night though." I left out the details, Edward didn't need to know those. "When do you think Riley can go home?"

"Good question. They will probably keep him in ICU tonight, and then move him to a regular room tomorrow. They will want to get him up and moving around and keeping food down before they release him. Probably close to a week."

We finished eating and went back upstairs, our hands brushing as we stood in the elevator. As soon as we stepped off, we heard a beeping, and saw nurses and doctors running down the hall.

"No!" I yelled, breaking into a sprint and ignoring Edward as he called out for me. My heart skipped several beats before settling into a thunderous pace as I bolted around the corner. Skidding to a stop at Riley's room, I burst through the door to find his bed surrounded by doctors.

"No, no, no…" I rambled, my eyes darting around the room. "Please, no…" I stood in the doorway, my entire body shaking with fear, my blood running cold that my thoughts from earlier were coming true. The doctor that had come to talk to us a few times glanced up from Riley's side. He had one hand flat on Riley's chest while the other gripped the breathing tube.

"Jasper?" Edward had caught up to me, his chest heaving as he dragged his lugged behind him. Then his eyes went to the crowd surrounding Riley.

"Then pull steadily. If the patient is awake, have them exhale as you pull the tube out. If they are unconscious, just a nice slow pull will work," the doctor instructed those around him as he did just as he described and pulled the tube from Riley's mouth. Once it was out, the breathing machine stopped, and so did my heart.

"Now you wait to see if they start breathing on their own, making sure you have a bag ready in case they don't."

We all stared at Riley.

There was a long raspy breath from him and a collective sigh of relieve from everyone in the room.

"Watch the patient for a few moments, and set their O2 at ninety percent," the doctor said as he hooked a tube over Riley's ears and placed something just under his nose. A few other doctors asked questions and then, apparently satisfied with Riley's progress, began to file out of the room.

"He's breathing well on his own, strong. I've already begun to reduce the sedatives. He should be awake within a few hours."

"Thank you," we answered and he smiled and left.

Simultaneously Edward and I took a step toward Riley, reaching him about the same time. Edward moved to one side while I stayed on the other. The skin on his face that wasn't bruised had pinked up, his color returning. His lips weren't as swollen, but a cut marred the corner of them, and they were dry and chapped. Edward held the fingers that stuck out from the end of the cast while I kept mine on Riley's other hand, my thumb stroking it.

"Wake up, Riley," I demanded when he remained so still, so quiet except for the rough breaths.

"It's going to be a few hours before he's awake, Jasper," Edward reminded me.

"Will he be awake before you leave?"

"Maybe."

Sighing, I clutched Riley's hand, but my eyes were on my love, watching him as he looked over Riley, watching him for any sign of consciousness even though he had said he wouldn't wake up for a few hours. After several long minutes, Edward brought his eyes to mine.

"We should go."

I wanted to argue, to stay with Riley until he woke up. I wanted Riley to know he wasn't alone, that we were there, but I nodded. Edward kissed Riley's cheek and then walked around the bed.

"I'll wait outside."

Leaning down, I kissed Riley's bruised temple. "Love you," I murmured before straightening and following Edward out the door.

"**~~**"

Edward was on his laptop answering some emails while I sat on the couch staring at the four walls. They were painted off white, probably to promote a soothing environment for those waiting for word about their loved ones. It was the same color as the hallways, but I had noticed that in Riley's room a faint flowered wallpaper covered the walls.

"Why flowered wallpaper?" I blurted to Edward.

Without even looking up from his computer, he replied, "To make the patients feel more at home. Flowers are cheery, they make people happy."

"Like red roses?"

His eyes met mine. "Exactly like red roses." He smiled before returning to his work.

"Why does it smell so bad?"

"It's the cleaners and disinfectants."

"It smells like death."

"Well, there's that too," he admitted. He went back to work and I closed my eyes.

Instantly my mind began race. I only had a few hours left with Edward, and they were being spent in a waiting room at a hospital worrying over Riley. Opening my eyes, I watched him, his brows kitted as he typed furiously on the keyboard. I committed the look to memory, knowing that I was going to need each and every one when we were apart.

I knew I should tell him, it was the right thing to do, but every time my mind breached the subject, tried to convince myself it was the right thing to do, I would quickly push it away. The less I thought about it, the better. Edward needed to go back to Chicago; he needed to continue with his life no matter what happened to me.

Besides, I knew he would try to talk me out of it.

And I would have probably let him.

The door opened and the doctor stepped inside. "Mr. Biers is waking up, he's asking for you," he said, looking at me. "You can go see him for a few minutes."

I think I knocked him over on my way out the door as I rushed out and practically ran down the hall to Riley's room. A nurse was just walking out as I entered, moving quickly to his bedside. His eyes were closed, his head turned to the window. Reaching him, I laid my hand on his.

"Hey," I whispered. I wanted to say so much more, but the words just tumbled in mind, stumbling over each other until that was all that was left. His head lolled to the side and he looked up at me. Dark brown eyes were so full of pain, pain he was trying to hide, and shame he was allowing me to see. Before he could speak, I pushed his hair off his face, smoothing out the greasy locks so they stuck to his head and his eyes drifted closed again.

"I'm sorry," he finally murmured so softly I barely heard him. "I just…"

"Sssh, not now. Just rest," I said quietly. He nodded slightly, already drifting back to sleep.

"Rile, I need to go be with Edward, he's leaving soon, but I'll be back as soon as I can. Thank you for coming back to me. I love you." The words were spoken to his sleeping body, but I swear he tried to smile. I cupped his cheek for a few seconds before I turned.

Edward was standing behind me. I hadn't even heard him come in. The look on his face was unmistakable.

He'd heard me.

Without saying a word, he turned and left.

When I walked into the waiting room, he was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. He looked up when I turned off the light and pushed a chair up to the door, shoving it hard under the knob so that it couldn't be opened. He lay down on the couch and I joined him, squishing my body in front of him on the narrow couch. If his arm hadn't immediately wrapped around my waist, I probably would have fallen off. Nuzzling the back of my neck, he buried his nose in my hair and sighed, his breath warm on my skin. Snuggling as close to him as possible, I put my arm under my head.

"You love him," he said quietly.

I covered his hand holding me to him and tangled my fingers with his. "It's not the same," I whispered in the dark room.

He was quiet for a long time before replying with a simple, "I know."

"Do you?"

A kiss to my nape told me he did, and I felt him nod. "You have a past with him, been through a lot together."

"He's my friend."

"He's lucky to have you."

"I'm lucky to have you."

We were quiet again. Releasing his hand, I turned on the couch, unable to resist the urge to see him for our last few hours together. He held his arm up, waiting until I was still before putting it back down, resting it firmly on my back to keep me against him. I kissed him lightly, moaning when I felt his lips part and I tasted him. His hand moved on my back, rubbing briefly before moving under my shirt and dancing his fingers along my skin.

"Please don't go," I murmured into the kiss. If he didn't leave, then he could stop me from doing what I had to do.

"I don't want to, but I have to. I'll talk to you every day, and I'll be back on Friday."

My heart sank, but I nodded, pressing my lips back to his, we forced our worries away. For almost an hour we held each other and kissed and whispered. Not once did anyone come to the door, and we remained comfortably in each other's arms until Edward sighed heavily and I knew it was time. Fisting his hair, I shook my head.

"Don't," I begged.

_I need you to stay. Don't let me do this._

"Love, please," he pleaded with me just as much, "Don't make this any harder."

"I'm sorry."

With one last kiss, I released his hair and he moved his arm so I could get up. Edward stood and pulled me into his arms again, drawing me for a long, deep kiss. Parting, he put his forehead to mine.

"I'm going to miss you, I love you."

"I love you too," I gasped. "No matter what, I'll always love you."

There was a brief glint of confusion in his eyes before it filled with devotion. He released me and moved the chair away from the door. Slinging the strap of his duffle over his shoulder, he turned to me.

"I spoke to the doctors earlier, they have instructions to keep you updated, but you need to behave, okay? Tell Riley goodbye for me," he requested and I nodded. "I'll call you as soon as I land." His hand curved around my neck and he kissed me one last time. "You can do this, be strong."

"I will," I said, though I wasn't sure I could, not without him. "I love you…always."

"Love you too," he retuned, and then he was gone.

Slumping into the couch, I laid my head against the back and closed my eyes. He was barely out the door and there was already an ache in my chest that took my breath away. How was I supposed to make it another four days? There was one positive thing about Edward being gone. I could do what I had to do without explaining where I was going.

"Mr. Whitlock?"

Lifting my head, I opened my eyes to see a nurse in the doorway.

"Mr. Biers is asking for you," she said as I eagerly stood up.

"Thanks."

I followed her out the door and turned down the corridor toward Riley's room. His eyes were closed when I entered and I thought maybe she had been wrong, but as soon as he heard my footsteps get closer, his eyes fluttered opened, the swollen one only partially, and he tried to smile, but stopped when it caused pain.

"I guess I really fucked up this time, huh?" His voice was louder than before but it was hoarse.

I shook my head as I reached him and took his hand. "No, I did. I shouldn't have left you. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got the shit beat out of me by five guys. My head is fucking pounding, my jaw kills, and my side stings like a mother fucker. Breathing is a bitch, my throat hurts and I've got serious cottonmouth," he mumbled weakly, barely moving his lips or jaw.

"Cottonmouth?"

"Feels like my mouth is stuffed with a dozen dicks, and not in a good way." He sighed, and then closed his eyes. "I should have listened to you. I just…"

"You needed it."

Opening his eyes, he stared out the window. "Yeah. I was doing good too, then I just started to go stir crazy being all cooped up. The longer I was there, the more I needed to get out. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal." He sucked in a few shallow breaths before continuing. "I was just going to find Rick and score some shit. But James found me first."

"Rile," I began, intending for him to stop reliving what had happened, but he shook off my words. He was quiet, his gazed trained on something outside until his lids began to fall, his harsh breaths deepening.

"He said you had missed a payment, he wanted to know where you lived so he could collect. Then he said he was going to finally teach you a lesson. He let me go, let me think everything was fine, but then his goons jumped me about an hour later."

"Do you remember anything?"

"Bits and pieces. They got me in the alley just after a john dropped me off. One had a baseball bat, another had a small knife. Mostly it was fists."

"Did they…."

"Yeah, a few times I think," he whispered. It was the last thing he said before he drifted away from me.

"Why didn't you just tell him, Rile?" I muttered. "Save yourself."

It was what anyone else on the streets would have done.

Not able to face the waiting room alone, I sat in the chair next to his bed, my eyes never leaving the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. I wondered if James knew Riley was still alive. Had he given orders to kill him and his goons failed to follow through, or did James want Riley to live and suffer through the pain to send a warning to me. What happened to Riley could easily happen to me. Beating Riley was only the beginning, next time, there was no doubt he wouldn't survive.

A nurse appeared in the room, barely glancing at me before attending to Riley. I watched her work, admiring her efficiency and the way she moved around confidently.

"The sedatives are still in his system, it will take awhile before he's awake for any length of time, but he's doing well. As long as you're quiet, you can stay in here for a little while if you want," she offered and I thanked her.

Even with Riley lying next to me, I felt alone without Edward's presence. Hospitals were his domain, and I already felt lost and confused without his lead. My phone vibrated and I pulled it out.

_Arrived at airport, miss you already. I will call you when I land._

I smiled and typed a reply.

_I miss you too. I love you. Always._

_Love you too._

Holding my phone, staring at the words of his last message, I thought about the weekend and how perfect it had been. It was a glimpse into a life that I had never known existed, one that I had never realized I wanted. Being with Edward, being open with him, had been amazing and I craved more. I wanted it every second of every day. But it wasn't going to happen no matter how much either of us wanted it. My work kept me in Seattle while Edward's work kept him in the closet.

As much as I wanted that ideal life with Edward, it wasn't reality.

I looked at Riley's battered body.

That was my reality.

My reality was the streets where I had come from. It was dirty and gritty and raw, it most definitely wasn't red roses and romantic walks on the beach. Those things were a dream, they were for people with money, people who didn't know that people like Riley and I existed, or if they did, they chose to ignore us. It was the streets that I needed to go back to once and for all end it. I was tired of my life being run by someone else.

Other than the sound of the machines, and the occasional moan from Riley, the room was silent. It gave me time to clear my head and plan my night. I pushed aside the ache I felt in Edward's absence and focused on the task at hand, keeping Riley safe.

If I couldn't have the kind of life I had lived briefly with Edward, then I was going to be sure I gave Riley a better life, a chance to have what I couldn't. The fairy tales Riley had told me about always had a happy ending, but he and I both knew happy endings rarely happened for people like us. Maybe I was his fairy godmother, maybe I could give him the ending he deserved.

My body was stiff from the uncomfortable chair when he woke up again about an hour later. I smiled as he pried his eyes open and then groaned when he saw me.

"You're still here," he teased, his voice stronger than before. "Where's beautiful? He's prettier than you."

"He had to catch a flight back to Chicago," I said sadly.

"How was the weekend?"

I couldn't help the smile, or sickly sweet infliction in my voice. "Perfect. He told me he loves me."

"Aw, how sweet," he chuckled, then began coughing. "Mother fucker that hurts." His arm went across his middle. "Feel like my insides are going to fucking fall out." Attempting to take a few deep breaths, he winced, clenching his eyes as he rode out the wave of pain.

"Did they give you something for the pain?"

"Yeah, that bag up there has some weak ass shit in it. I could get stronger stuff on the streets. I do have this nifty button here that I press when I need it, but the fuckers regulate it. No matter how many times I press the button, it will only give me a limited amount."

"I want you to move in with me," I blurted it out.

His eyes widened, and then narrowed as his brows knitted together. "Jas-"

"Listen to me. You're going to need a place to recover and you can't fucking do that at the docks. Live with me, you will have food and be safe."

He studied me, weighing my offer for a long few seconds. "You're not going to let me refuse, are you?"

"No."

Looking toward the window, he was quiet again. Each breath he took was labored and weak, his eyes falling closed several times as he fought the sedatives still in his system. "I don't want to be a burden."

I couldn't fault his independence, it ran deep inside me as well. We were used to our freedom, we had little pride, but what we did have, we clung to. "You won't."

"I don't want to get in the way."

"You won't," I repeated.

Slowly he turned his head back to me and opened his weary eyes. "I'm so tired…"

He was talking about so much more than the drugs in his body.

"I know, sweetheart."

Then I saw it. A single tear rolled down his cheek, over his bruised, scarred flesh. Others welled in the corner of his eyes, glistening there before falling from them, each one following in the tracks of the one before it. Even with all the shit we'd gone through, I'd never seen Riley cry.

"Let me help you," I whispered.

He stared at me until his eyes ran dry, neither of us saying word as he released his fear. "I don't know, Jas-"

"You almost fucking died, Rile," I growled at him. "Alone in a fucking alley. If Rick hadn't found you, you'd been dead now. Is that what you want?"

"We all die sometime," he reasoned. He was tired of his life, dying was an easy way out.

"Not this young we don't," I countered.

"What difference does it make, it's not like anyone would care," he sighed, looking away.

"Fuck you, Riley." His eyes shot to mine. "_I_ fucking care. I fucking love you, asshole, I don't know what I'd do without you."

The words were out, half said in anger, before I could stop them. The pain in his eyes softened, and the corner of his lips that wasn't cut curled up.

"Say that again."

"Fuck you, Riley," I smiled. He tried to laugh, but the sharp pain quickly stopped him.

"Jesus Christ, I can't even laugh," he groaned, using his arm around his middle for more support. Once the pain had subsided, he exhaled and laid his head on the pillow.

"Edward gave me some pills for you. They help with the withdrawals and the cravings. I want you to take them. I want you to get clean."

"Methadone?"

"No, something else. He said they will help with the physical addiction but that you need therapy or rehab to get clean."

"No, no fucking way I'm going to some loony bin," he refused. "I'll go to your place. I'll take whatever shit you've got, but I'm not going to rehab."

I glared at him, my hands fisting on the armrests. "What about meetings or something?"

"Like AA?"

"Your life could be different, Rile. You say you use drugs to forget your life, but if your life is better, you won't need to forget. You won't need the drugs."

"You just want me to play house with you," he tried to joke. "Have a hot meal cooked when you get home."

"If I wanted a decent meal when I got home, I'd order takeout," I teased.

"I clean in the nude."

"Is there any other way?"

"What about James? He was pissed when you left the streets, he's going to be even more pissed about me. I bring in a fuckton more money than you did."

"I'll take care of him."

Riley knew exactly what I meant and he glared at me. "Jasper," he warned, raising his voice as loud as he could. "Don't you do it. If you get caught, then this talk won't matter. You won't be around to help me."

"I'll be fine," I brushed off his concern.

Losing the battle against the drugs, his eyes began to close. "Sleepy," he mumbled, trying to squeeze my hand. "Be caref…"

He couldn't even finish the words before sleep claimed him, pulling him back into a painless unconsciousness. Glancing down at my watch, I checked the time and after a kiss to his dry lips, left the room. Right before I opened the door, I turned to look at him one last time. He was already sound asleep, and more importantly, he was finally safe.

"Love you," I said barely aloud before letting the door close behind me. I went to the counter where a few nurses were standing around.

"I need to write a note and leave something for a patient," I told one that looked up at me.

"Sure," she said, handing me a pad of paper and a pen.

Taking it, I wrote down the words and then folded the paper. "Do you have an envelope or something?"

She nodded and handed me one with the hospital name in the corner. I put the note inside, and then took out my lobster keychain and pulled the spare key to my apartment off it and dropped it inside with the note. I sealed it, wrote Riley's name and room number on it and then handed it to her.

"Can you see that he gets this when he wakes up please?"

"Of course."

"Thanks."

She nodded and put the envelope in her pocket. I glanced down the hall toward Riley one last time. I was doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do.

I was leaving him.

Outside the hospital, I hailed a cab and gave him the address of my apartment. I hoped Riley would follow my instructions, his life, and maybe mine, depended on it.

_Rile,_

_I've got to do this, you know I do, it's time. If something happens to me and I don't come back, please call Edward and tell him I love him. My life wasn't complete until he walked into it. Tell him that I'm glad my last memories were of the perfect weekend with him. Thank him for teaching me baseball, showing me his rock, and letting me experiencing what it felt like to be loved. I will never forget him, and he will always be with me no matter where I am. If you need help with anything, please tell him. He proved to me today that he would do anything for you. Please take care of him for me, he's going to need a friend. _

_Then call Peter. Please tell him I'm sorry I couldn't be what he needed, but that I loved him as a friend. I hope he finds the true love he deserves. Thank him for giving me faith in myself, and for treating me with more respect than anyone ever has. _

_Here's the key to my apartment, use it, stay there and stay safe. I will make sure there is food and I'll leave everything you need on the table, including all the phone numbers, my credit card, the pills and the directions on taking them. Please get clean, sweetheart. If not for you, then for me._

_If I get caught, please call Peter, he will know what to do. Also, call Tanya and tell her you can take my place at the Service. _

_Lastly, live your life, Riley. Live it for both of us, enjoy it. Have lots of sex, but then find love yourself. It's wonderful and you deserve it. You're my best friend, I love you._

_Until we meet again,_

_Jasper_

The driver pulled up to my building and I tossed money at him before getting out. The sun had set and I didn't have long before I needed to leave again. Rushing up to my apartment, I entered and began to get everything ready. Stripping my clothes off, I headed for the shower and washed off the hospital stench before getting out and wrapping a towel around my hips. In the kitchen, I went through the cupboards, fridge and freezer, making sure there was enough food to get Riley through a few weeks so he wouldn't have to leave. I wrote down a few things to pick up for him, and then got the pills from my jacket pocket and wrote down the instructions Edward had told me. I left them on the table, along with everyone's numbers and my credit card. Then I went and got dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt before grabbing some cash and my jacket. Leaving, I went down to the corner store, walking through it with my basket, tossing in things from list and other stuff I knew he would want. When it was full, I paid and then walked back to the apartment, lugging the plastic bags of food.

Once inside, I put them away in the kitchen. Every movement I made seemed slow, smooth but stuttered at the same time. Like I was in a dream and couldn't move forward. After everything was unpacked I left all my cash but twenty dollars on the table next to the note and checked to be sure my cell phone was in my pocket. Finally, I went to my desk and opened the drawer, pulling out my switchblade and slipping it into the pocket of my leather jacket.

I walked out the door, not even looking back one last time. If I didn't come back, I didn't want to remember it. There was only one image I wanted to remember.

Edward's smiling emerald eyes.

The night was cold, my breath exiting me in little puffs of crystallized air. I stood on the sidewalk and called a cab, climbing into the backseat when one pulled up.

"Fourth and Bell," I said. He nodded and pulled out into traffic.

Each rotation of the tires, each building and block we passed was another step closer to my destiny. I had told Edward that maybe I had survived my life to reach him and learn love, and maybe that was still true, but sitting there in the cab I realized that maybe I had also lived my life to protect Riley's.

The driver had the radio on, the music filtering into the back as I stared out blankly out the window.

_That long black cloud is comin' down  
I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door._

The ride was quicker than I expected, and my heart raced as the driver pulled up to the corner of Fourth and Bell. I handed him the fare and tip before getting out. Without hesitating, I headed down Fourth Street with my hands in my pockets, fingers curled around the handle of the knife. I didn't know what I was hoping to do. Change my life or save Riley's. Our lives were so integrated, so entwined, that it didn't matter why or for who I was doing it, the outcome would be the same.

James would be gone and Riley would be saved.

One well placed jab to the abdomen and it would all be over.

I jumped when my phone vibrated in my pocket, and almost didn't answer when I didn't recognize the number. I didn't even get out a hello before he was yelling at me.

"What the fuck are you doing you fucking asshole? You come here and bitch at me for fucking up my life with drugs, make me promise you to get clean and then you fucking leave me? You just leave? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" he ranted gravely, his throat not letting him get as loud as he wanted to.

"Rile, you know I have to do this. Just follow the instructions I left."

"No, you want to fuck up your life, go ahead. I'm not making your calls and doing your dirty work. I can't believe you're fucking leaving me."

"I'm trying to make it better," I snapped.

"By going on a fucking suicide mission?" he challenged.

"Damn it, Rile, just do what I asked," I sighed, frustrated.

He was quiet. I heard him sniffling and a few staggered breaths before he spoke again. "You said you didn't know what you would do without me, but I don't know what I would do without you either."

"You'll be fine. You were fine before me and you'll be fine after. I've left everything you need at the apartment. Call Edward if you need anything else. He'll help you. Promise me, Rile."

"What am I supposed to tell him? That you loved him but not enough to stop what you're doing?"

"He'll understand why I have to do this." At least I hoped he would.

Again, he was silent except for his shallow breaths in my ear. "Fine. I'll do what you ask, but I'm not going to like it."

I almost smiled. "Thanks, Rile. Take care of yourself, okay?"

"I never would have made it this far without you."

"Me either," I admitted.

"So, I'll ah see ya later?"

"Sure thing," I said confidently even if I believed the opposite to be true. "Love ya."

"Love you too, you fucker," he mumbled quickly before hanging up.

Hitting end, I shoved the phone back in my pocket and turned the last corner. I saw him immediately, his long blond hair tied back easy to spot as it hung down his back in thin strands. He was talking to a girl and when he saw her eyes flicker to me, his back stiffened and he shooed her off before turning around.

I stopped only a few feet away from him, close enough to smell his body odor and see the dirt on his neck. We appeared to be alone, but I knew we weren't. I knew that as soon as I made a move, there would be three or four guys running at me. I just hoped I could get the job done before they reached me. If I was going down, I wasn't going alone. My entire body was tense, every muscle waiting for the right second to strike.

"I see you got my message," he smirked, pretending to casually lean his shoulder against the building, but his eyes gave away his body language as they darted around us, looking for his back up. "So tell me, did the bitch make it?"

"No," I lied, relieved he expected Riley to be dead.

"Aw, too bad. I told them to go easy on him, but that they could have fun with him for awhile. I bet the bitch was begging for it when they were fucking him. Just like he does with me. He had such a sweet ass. Not as nice as yours of course. I'm curious, how much does fucking you cost now? Four, five hundred?"

I didn't answer. I kept my eyes trained on him while looking around as much as I could. There was no movement near us, but that didn't mean they weren't there, hiding in the shadows.

He shrugged. "I bet you think your debt to me is paid in full now, huh? You think that just because that dirty bitch is dead that you can just ride off into the sunset. Guess what? You're fucking wrong. Riley was nothing to you. Well, at least nothing compared to someone else."

Hiding my confusion, I let him continue, biding my time. My hands were sweaty in my pockets, my fingers toying with the smooth handle as they readied to pull it out.

He grinned, the stench of his breath corroding the air between us. "You know, I bet I could get way more money from you for a better bitch, one that means more to you than some low class street whore. What do you say, Blondie? How does five k a week sound? I'm sure your sugar daddy could afford that. Fuck, it's probably pocket change to him."

"Fuck off. I'm not giving you another cent," I snarled, my hand clamping around the knife's handle.

He threw his head back and laughed. "If you don't pay me, I'll fuck you up…and your pretty boy too. Because…mmmm…what I wouldn't give to fuck him, maybe tie him up, let a few others try him out. Give him a little taste of the street life."

My brows furrowed and I bit my bottom lip. There was no way James could know about …it was impossible.

Seeing my doubt, he shook his head. "Ya know, I thought you were smarter than this, Blondie. I thought you knew not to get involved in with johns. Especially rich ones that have hot bodies and beautiful red hair."

He didn't even have time to react before I slammed him against the building, my arm across his throat cutting off his air. Watching his eyes bulge as he gasped for breath, I pulled out the knife and I held the point against his side.

"You fucking stay away from him!" I snarled viciously, spitting my words at him.

"Him?" He glared at me. "Kinda impersonal, isn't? You mean Edward Cullen, don't you?"

Shocked, I released him and stepped back, almost stumbling."How…"

"What, you think I don't know who you're fucking? You think that I don't know he's more than a john to you? You wouldn't hold hands with just anyone. I saw the looks you gave each other." He straightened out his shirt and glanced down the sidewalk. I followed his eyes and saw two of his thugs heading our way. James put his hand up and stopped them. Like the good puppies they were, they stopped in their tracks and waited.

"See, Jasper, it's like this. You're good at your job, I'm good at mine. What kind of employer would I be if I didn't keep an eye on my employees?"

I shook my head. It couldn't be happening. How the hell did James know who Edward was, how had he seen us together? We were rarely out in Seattle anymore, much less holding hands in public. The only time we had held hands was when we left my building on the way to the hospital after ….

"Ricky," I muttered under my breath.

"I knew you'd figure it out. That bitch is dumber than shit," he chuckled. "Led me right to you. I knew he and Riley were close, it only made sense that if something happened to Riley that Ricky would go to you. It was only a matter of time."

I felt lightheaded, my heart pounded furiously in my chest. My chance to end it was gone. If I died and James survived, it would leave Edward unprotected.

"Seeing you like this, I almost feel bad for you. Almost. Then I remember you're fucking that sweet ass and I don't feel so bad anymore. So, five k a week, every Friday, or I will introduce your Mr. Cullen to some friends of mine that would just to love play with him. Deal?"

"I don't have that kind of money," I mumbled.

"Then I suggest you find it somewhere, or you could always come back to work for me, but something tells me that Mr. Cullen might not like his whore walking the streets at night while he's working late. Wouldn't look very good for his company now, would it?"

I had put Edward's life in danger. Just by being with me, just by loving me, his life was at risk.

And he had no fucking idea.

"How much do you want?"

"Can you put a price on love?"

My eyes narrowed, and I growled in the back of my throat.

"I didn't think so. So how about this, you give me five thousand a week until I say you can stop. Now run along, little boy. I'll see you on Friday, same time, same place. My boys have instructions to leave you and your daddy alone unless I don't get my money."

Rage and fear overwhelmed me and I took a few steps backwards, glancing around us one last time before turning.

"It was good to see you again," he called out, laughing as I burst into a sprint.

My long strides carried me for blocks until my lungs burned and I was panting for breath. Stopping, I leaned against a brick building, my hands on my knees as I gasped for air. Everything was crashing down around me. I had been so sure of what I was doing, and that it was the right thing. Now Edward's life was in danger, James knew where I lived, and Riley would never be safe. It was all beyond my control. I was lost with no fucking idea how to fix what I had fucked up. I had no choice. I needed help, and there was only one person that could help me. Straightening, I took a deep breath, bringing my heart rate back to normal before digging into my pocket for my phone. Through blurred vision, I scrolled through my phone and pressed the number.

"Hello?"

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

You can put the pitchforks away, Riley is alive.

M&A won Best Group Sex the Golden Lemon Awards, (the J/E/R DP outtake) thank you so, so much for those that read, nominated and voted. Riley would be so proud! The banner is on my profile, thank you all again!

So…need to vent? Have theories? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter theslashawards


	30. The Wicked Witch is Dead

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- My apologies for the cliffhanger last chapter, but you will soon see why it needed to end there. Once some of you realize what this chapter is, you might want to skip it, but I would advise against doing so, because it is a very important part to the story. This is _not_ an outtake.

Also, in the first half of this chapter there is very little dialogue, and I realize some of you might skim it, but trust me, there are important details and hints in there that you might miss that may confuse you at the end. So…skim or skip at your own risk.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

Thank you to OftheDamned for her beta on this chapter.

"**~~**"

I shouldn't do it.

I knew I shouldn't.

I was an intelligent man. Put myself through college, ran my own successful business with hundreds of employees, I even got all the answers to the New York Times crossword every Sunday. I was smart, or at least, I liked to think so.

It was in matters of the heart that I seemed to always get a failing grade.

Even as I sat in my car watching the activity across the street through my dark sunglasses, I knew I shouldn't be there. Some might say I was risking my life for a hooker, a whore, but I hardly considered that to be the case. I hardly considered Jasper a whore. He had a job and he did it well, and I certainly wasn't risking my life. I was simply doing someone a favor, someone I loved.

That was what people in love did; they helped the ones they loved. And regardless of what I had heard in his voice, the worry for his _Edward_…I loved Jasper.

And there was no doubt I would help the boy I loved even if he loved another.

_Love. _

When I was young, I used to think it was such a stupid emotion; useless, worthless, a waste of time and energy. Sex was all I needed, give me a tight ass and willing boy and I was all set, but meeting Nicolas changed all that. No matter how hard I tried to deny that I loved him, it had snuck up and bitten me in the ass, and by the time he was using drugs, I was in far too deep to find my way out. There wasn't anything I wouldn't have done for him, including moving across the country, leaving my family and friends behind. Nick had been my life, my _everything_, and giving up on that, on what we had and could have been, had been the hardest thing I had ever done.

We met in college, I was taking a music class to fill my art elective requirement, and was sitting in the auditorium the first day of class when he strutted to his seat in his baggy jeans and grunge band tee shirt. His shoulder length hair tumbled perfectly, swaying with each stride, and he had a few days scruff on his jaw, but it was his eyes that captured me. They were the darkest brown I'd ever seen, almost black, but they had a sparkle to them, something that I couldn't define. When he caught me staring at him, and winked his sparkling eyes, I was completely taken. After class, he stood in front of me, cool and confident as he asked me to go get coffee. I couldn't agree quickly enough.

We spent hours at the coffee shop, he talked about his dreams of becoming a musician, I bored him with my plans of starting my own business. Nicolas was brilliant, attending Princeton to study music, having been accepted on a scholarship like myself. The conversation flowed effortlessly, we laughed and teased, and when we left, he leaned in to kiss me. Our lips met and I swore the air around us ignited. By the end of the night, he was screaming my name with my cock buried deep in his ass.

Before he began using, we had the perfect relationship. Physically our chemistry was unmatched, no one had ever made me feel like he did. A simple look from his dark eyes from across the room, or bright smile when he came home was enough make my heart race and cock twitch. Often I was home before him, studying and preparing dinner, and often our food would burn because as soon as he stepped inside the apartment, we were all over each other. Only minutes after he arrived home, one of us would be on our knees, sucking and feasting on the other's cock instead of dinner. Later in bed, we would laugh about the overcooked meal, and how we had to order out once again. We spent the weekends sipping coffee in the shop on the corner, hitting a club at night, and Sunday mornings were always reserved for sleeping in and sprawling naked on the bed flipping through the New York Times. I always went to the business section first, while Nick would delve over the arts and entertainment, then together we would trudge our way through the crossword.

Life was simple and carefree.

My biggest worry had been getting good grades, which came easily to me.

Living in near New York City was amazing. There was always something to do; art museums, Broadway shows, dance clubs, walking through the park. Everything anyone could ever want was in the city, it was alive with the energy its inhabitants created. It was wonderful in every way but one. There was a seedier side to it, a dangerous hint in the air in certain parts of the town where you held your boyfriend a bit tighter and kept your eyes wide open. It was in those parts that Nicolas played most of his gigs with his band. He wrote most of their songs, but they also covered classic rock songs and some newer grunge ones as well. The band played almost every weekend, and I always went to watch him.

The way Nicolas moved on stage was mesmerizing, breathtaking, and energizing all at once. He was a natural charmer, the perfect front man for a band, working to the crowd by swinging his hair, rocking his slim hips and tugging his full lip in between his teeth while he strummed the guitar. In awe, I would watch in the darkened room, staring at him as his forehead creased in concentration while he played. His voice was rough and magical, and like a pied piper, he led his audience on his journey, promising them everything they wished for.

I had never seen anything more beautiful.

As much as I enjoyed watching him work a crowd, it was when we were alone and he sang for only me that truly stole my heart. His hair would fall over his bare shoulders as he sat cross-legged on the bed, his guitar on his lap as he sang the sweetest love songs for me and only me. Those moments never ended, I carried them in my heart years after our split, using them to warm the cold, lonely nights when I wanted nothing more than to hear him sing again for me.

Music was his life, I was a close second.

Everything was perfect until the winter of our last year of college. His band was more popular than ever and they were playing a gig almost nightly. The schedule of staying up until two or three in the morning and then getting up at seven to face professors and tests began to wear on Nick's body. He began to find it difficult to concentrate in class, his eyes drifting closed as he nodded off. I wasn't sure exactly when it started, but it was after Christmas break that I noticed a slight change in him. Nicolas had gone home to Pennsylvania and when he returned, something was…different, there was something else in his eyes and he had more energy. I figured the month off from school and playing had done him good.

I was wrong.

As the spring semester continued, Nicolas played even more gigs than before, and yet was managing to stay awake through all his classes, even taking notes and answering questions. I complimented him on his newfound dedication to school, and celebrated with him when he aced a test. Then one night, I was at Duffy's watching him play. I sat at the table near the front with some friends of ours while Nicolas moved across the stage and encouraged us all to follow him.

We all did.

Willingly.

After his set, eager to have him come say hi to our friends, I went backstage into the dark hallway. I found him leaning against the wall, his hand cupped up to his nose as he inhaled sharply. Shocked, I stood there and watched as he sniffed the drugs. When he looked up and saw me, he claimed it wasn't what it looked like, it was only to wake him up, keep him going. I shook my head and left, leaving him and my friends behind.

He came home in the middle of the night, crawling naked into bed with me, whispering words of love as he kissed my shoulder. Just like he knew how to work the crowd, he worked me, and soon he was pressed into the mattress as I lay on top of him, thrusting into his tight ass. He had that power over me; my love for him blinded me to all that had started to go horribly wrong. What he claimed was casual usage to keep him awake on long days became steadily using a few times a week. He kept them from me, rarely did I see him actually taking any drugs, and I never saw them around our place, but I saw it in his eyes.

The way they would dart around the room to avoid looking at me, and the light that they used to have began to fade.

I'd always had an innate ability to read people. I don't know if it was something I was born with or if it was a skill I developed over time, but either way, I could smell fear, spot a lie, and knew if someone was holding back. Yet no matter how good I was at it, I had never seen Nicolas turning to drugs. It had taken me by surprise and I began to question my own judgment.

One night I came home from studying with some friends and found him passed out on the couch when he was supposed to be at Duffy's getting ready for a set. After I called in for him, I sat next to him all night, watching over him until he finally woke up. I told him I wanted him to get help, that he was full of shit when he said he wasn't addicted. He listened, rubbing his face with his hands and nodding.

"You're right, sweetheart, but I don't need treatment, I can handle it on my own," he promised.

Foolishly, I believed him.

He was clean for a few weeks, his body going through some withdrawals but nothing he wasn't strong enough to overcome. Then about a month later I was cooking dinner when he came home, stumbling through the door and bumping into the table. When he looked at me, I knew.

He was high.

We repeated the talk and the process. I said he needed to clean up and he promised to. I loved him, he was my life, and I wasn't going to easily give up on him. He was a good person, he deserved my faith and loyalty.

Somehow we made it through the semester and graduated. I received my master's in business and Nicolas received his bachelor's in art. He announced he wanted to go to Seattle to try the band scene there, hoping that he'd get discovered much like Nirvana or Pearl Jam. He promised it would be different, he wouldn't need the drugs out there because he wouldn't have classes, he could play all night and sleep all day. We would have a new life in Seattle, a clean start. I had nowhere to go, I had no ties in New Jersey and going back to Texas and facing the ranch without my father hurt too much. It took very little thought before I agreed to go with Nick.

I would have followed him anywhere.

Seattle was a new start for us. Nicolas's band began to play some larger forums and he quickly started to gain a following. I found myself an entry level position in public relations at one of the teaching hospitals and we began our new lives together. For awhile things were incredible, he played his music, I worked, we made love.

He found a new group of friends, some he met through places where his band played. Occasionally, I met those friends. Nick would take my hand and drag me over to a table in the corner, introducing me to a man named Julian, his girlfriend Irina, and a few other associates of theirs. That's exactly what they were, associates, employees even, because there was no doubt that Julian was a dealer.

And from what I could tell, a very powerful one.

Julian wasn't physically intimidating, though a few of the people he surrounded himself with weren't small. Julian was thin and shorter than myself or Nicolas. He was clean cut, his short hair gelled into spikes, the tattoo that was on his inked on his olive skinned neck was barely visible above the neckline of his cashmere v-neck sweater, and there was a glimmer of a diamond earring in his left ear. When he smiled, it seemed genuine, but there was something else there, something darker and sinister, but it matched the dangerous flare in his caramel brown eyes. He shook my hand, clasping it in his for a second before offering me a seat at his table, telling me any friend of Nicolas's was a friend of his. The people at the bar waited on him hand and foot, tripping over themselves to make sure he had everything he could desire while he was there. He took the attention in stride, thanking them generously with a large tip. He seemed to enjoy Nick's music, his head bobbing through all the songs.

Part of me wanted to bitch at Julian, tell him what an ass he was for supplying Nicolas with drugs, but it was Nick that went to him, not the other way around. If Julian didn't sell Nick the drugs, he would just get them from someone else. I'd seen my fair share of dark alley dealings, but even I was intimidated by Julian, and the aura that surrounded him. He was pleasant enough, respectful, including me in the conversation, and never once did I see any actual drugs. However, I did catch a glimpse of the gun one of his associates had tucked inside the waistband of his jeans when he opened his jacket to get his cell phone. Gulping, I looked back to the stage where Nick was singing his heart out, wondering just what the fuck he had gotten me into.

After that night I only saw Julian a few more times, he was always polite and professional. One afternoon he stopped by our place and Nick left with him, only to return in the middle of the night. Nick never spoke about what happened, but I held his trembling body for hours. Things continued like that, Nick returning home at odd hours, passing out as soon as he fell into bed.

About a month later, I was at work late for a meeting and Nicolas showed up. There was no mistaking his shaking hands or red nose. I ushered him out of the office and sent him home. After apologizing and finishing the meeting, I went home and found Nick passed out, coke streaked on the mirror on the table in front of the couch. My heart ached for him, there was so much I had wanted for us, for him, but it wasn't going to happen as long as the drugs were in his life. Day by day I saw his incredible potential diminish, I saw his life slipping through his fingers faster than he could grasp it.

I had always seen my future so clearly, I knew what I wanted and was chasing it, but during that dark time with Nicolas I felt utterly helpless. Nothing I said or did helped, he was still using and I was still lost. I watched our lives get snorted up his nose. At night I prayed for a miracle, I pleaded with Nick to get clean, and I failed us both.

I felt useless and worthless.

Devastated that I couldn't save us, that I couldn't stop the world we had built for ourselves from crumbling around me, I continued numbly through life. My heart ached every time I saw Nick's hands tremble, or the light slowly fade from his beautiful eyes. Each day I got up, suffered through the day torn between doing what I needed to do and what my heart told me to do. Then I would cry myself to sleep at night, waking the next morning to do it all over again.

It was then that I turned to my mentor at work, Brenden. He was handsome and talented in his job. He liked me and taught me just about everything I needed to know to move up the ranks. I wasn't a fool. I might have only had one boyfriend, but I'd sex with many, and I knew when a guy was hitting on me. The longing looks, the brushes of a hand or arm, the licking of lips when I walked into a room.

Brenden wanted me.

For a long time the gold band around his finger forced us to keep our distance from each other, but he was there with an ear, he listened to my problems and offered advice. We resisted whatever comfort we felt with each other until one night he drove me home from a bar after work. Nicolas was out for the night with the band and I didn't want to be alone. I was tired of coming home to an empty house, wondering what kind of condition Nick was going to be in when he finally arrived home. I asked Brenden up, and he agreed.

We weren't young and foolish anymore, we both knew what was going to happen.

Inside the apartment, we stumbled as we ripped each other's clothes off and made our way to the couch. When my cock pushed into his ass and I gripped his hips and slammed into him, I realized with sex I could forget everything. There were no drugs, no boyfriends, or work; there was nothing but the feeling of a tight ass around my cock. I spanked him, scratched him, pounded his ass, and he cried out for more.

It made me feel powerful and in control.

There was no love, no emotion, it was just pure physical pleasure.

It was exactly what I needed.

After we came, I held him while we both released the guilt we felt. I had a boyfriend, he had a wife and child. Both of us knew it wrong, and neither of us cared.

Brenden left and I took a shower. In the privacy of the running water, I slid down the tiled wall and I let it all out, sobbing when I realized what I had done, and what I needed to do. I went to bed alone, telling myself I better get used to it.

My bags were packed and sitting by the door when I told Nicolas the next day. We cried, we hugged, he begged me to stay and promised to get clean, but in the end, he couldn't forgive me for what I had done and I couldn't live with the drugs. I wasn't sure I wanted the forgiveness. I moved out a few days later, finding my own place and throwing myself into work. Brenden and I fucked on a regular basis, in the bathroom at work, at my place, in his car. It felt…good.

For almost a year, we continued. He cheated on his wife, and I made my way up the ladder at work. He claimed he loved me, but I think he loved the feeling of my dick in his ass. I gave him what his wife couldn't, and he loved that he could be himself with me. I told him I loved him, though I when I look back and compare him and Nicolas, it wasn't really love, Brenden had been nothing more than a rebound. A way for me to realize sex without emotions was exactly what I needed at the time.

Finally I broke up with him, telling him to return to his wife and child, be a good father and if he wasn't able to be happy with his wife, then he needed to get out the marriage and find his own way, but I refused to be the reason they split. I took my father's inheritance and started my own my business, fulfilling my dream. My employees were handpicked by me. They were loyal, hardworking, and brilliant and talented in their chosen fields. I had nothing but the best in the industry working for me, and their long hours and loyalty was generously rewarded. Even in the branches outside of Seattle, I knew all of my employees by name. I was out of the closet, I had never really been in it, and all my employees knew I was gay as did all those I did business with. There had only been a few times that my sexuality had been an issue, a few companies pulled their contracts with me when they saw the organizations I supported. Some places didn't want fags tainting their pristine reputation for fucking over their customers. After getting lucky a few times and working my ass off even more, I built a successful public relations firm and became one of the most powerful men in Seattle. My company was my life, I enjoyed my work, I thrived on the emergencies that arose in the middle of the night, it made my heart pound with excitement. It was more than I had always hoped it would be.

For the first time in my life, I was standing alone on my own two feet, and was in control of my own life and destiny. It was then that I realized it was all about control.

Who had it, how much, and at what cost.

About a year after our break up, I heard Nicolas was arrested for possession. A mutual friend of ours told me Nick was in rehab and I went to see him. It was awkward and tense at first, but when I held his hand and he looked up at me with those eyes, the sparkle finally back in them after so long, I smiled.

He was released, stayed clean and began a new life with a new man.

I went to see him play with his band about six months ago. When he sat next to me at the table, I felt the spark of chemistry that had always floated in the air around us, and by the way he smiled at me, I knew he felt it too. We talked, even shared a few laughs, and then at the end of his sets, he walked me to my car and I kissed him goodbye.

"I'm so proud of you, hon," I murmured to him, he nodded and I wiped the tear off his cheek.

"I'm so sorry I ruined us," he whispered. I shushed him, kissed him again and left.

I finally let him go.

I had to, because even as I was there saying goodbye to him, my heart was already falling for another.

Throwing myself into my work, I told myself a relationship would only get in the way of my career, and I was partially right, the hours I devoted to my career had paid off. I led a wonderful life and wanted for nothing. I had friends, fantastic career, and a beautiful house…everything anyone could ever wish for. My social life mostly consisted of business dinners, meetings, and charity functions. I was on the board of directors for several gay charities, there was barely a weekend that I wasn't required to be at some black tie event. They were all alike; I worked the crowd, smiled, shook hands, gave a donation, and then went home alone to an empty house.

I loved my home, it was spacious and beautiful, but sometimes it was too quiet. I missed having the sounds of another living with me; the sound of waking up to the shower running or bacon cooking, or someone's footsteps coming down the hall to greet you and ask how your day had gone. The simple things were what I missed the most about being in a relationship. Sex I could get anywhere at any time, but having someone care about me, smile at my jokes or hold my hand at dinner, were things I desired late at night when I was in bed alone.

I began using the Service to keep sex casual, safe, and anonymous. There were always strings attached to picking someone up in a bar even for a one night stand. There was the awkward talk after sex, to cuddle or not cuddle, how quickly after coming was too rude to kick their ass out of bed. By using Tanya's service I was guaranteed to avoid all those problems. I always paid for the entire night, never knowing when the urge to fuck was going to strike me, but never once I had fucked any of them more than twice in a night, and I usually sent them home before two in the morning. Even though the time was paid for in advance, I never let any of them spend the night.

For almost a year, I continued through the string of boys, usually having one a week, sometimes more. I paid, a hot man arrived, I fucked him, he left. No questions asked, no awkwardness, no small talk.

It was pure, unadulterated fucking.

Every man that walked into that room was tall, blond and blue eyed.

I figured I was safe with boys that looked nothing like Nicolas.

That all changed the night Jasper came into my life.

It had been a long day, worked had dragged well into the night and I knew the next day was going to be just as difficult. There were a few important meetings, one of which would finalize a contract with a large pharmaceutical firm, and I knew I was going to want some release after the day was over. Calling Tanya, I schedule an appointment for the next night and she mentioned she had a new blond working for her, so new that I would be his first client. Eagerly, I accepted the challenge.

When he arrived the next night, nervous and wary, it wasn't only my cock that stirred in his presence. There was something about him, he had that same indefinable quality that Nick had, only it was darker, more mysterious and leery, and not contained to only his eyes, it was his entire body.

As he stripped for me, pretending to be much more confident then I knew he felt, I watched him, instantly curious about him. The way he moved, spoke, seduced, it was different than any of the other boys, and it was enchanting. There was a tentativeness to him, a naiveté that swirled around him, to say nothing of the pure sexual tension that oozed from him. Not only did I have him three times that night, but he slept in my bed.

Sitting at the desk out in the living room part of the suite, I worked, listening to his deep breaths. More than once, I got up and went to the bedroom door to just watch him sleep. Standing in the doorway watching him led to walking to the bed and waking him. Waking him and hearing his soft moans at my touch led to fucking him.

In hard, long, measured strokes.

After, I encouraged him to sleep while showered. I returned to him with a towel wrapped around my waist and I sat on the edge of bed and just …stared.

He was truly magnificent.

Long legged and lean, his lay on his stomach with the sheets twisted and tangled throughout his tanned limbs. His amber hair fell over his face, hiding the features I had already committed to memory. He was thin, but sinewy muscles rolled under smooth skin, skin that tasted like sunshine and sex. The curve of his ass was barely hidden by the sheet, and I suppressed a groan when my eyes fell to where his ass met the top of his thighs. He had slim hips, his hip bone protruding more than average, but there was a defined 'v' and flat stomach. The expanse of his back was covered in nothing but unmarred skin that led to wide shoulders. Then there was his face, it wasn't model perfection, but it was perfect in its own way. His cheekbones were high and flushed pink from his climaxes, his eyelashes were long and fanned over his cheeks. Behind closed lids were beautiful eyes, a thousand different shades of blue that blended seamlessly together. He had only smiled once since arriving, but I had seen a glimpse of the dimples that framed his full lips. There was only one hint that his life had been more difficult than he wanted anyone to know.

A scar on his right hip that looked to be from a stab wound, one that had not been taken care of by a professional.

As I admired him, the scent of our fucking still hanging in the air, I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him again. The desire to run my fingers along the soft skin of calf as it poked out from under the white sheet was strong, and I clenched my fist to stop myself. Instead, I got up and left the room, and uneasiness settling in my stomach. It had been a long time since I had felt out of control, but something about Jasper made me feel just that.

It wasn't until the next day as I was dressing that I really got to see him. I had told him his hair and eyes were a lethal combination but it was the innocence about him that drew me in even more. I saw a boy inside a man's body, a boy that knew his way around. I had seen the way he took in his surroundings, reacted to certain things like foreplay and a shower, and it didn't take long for me to wonder how much time he had spent on the streets.

We saw each other almost every week, and he spent the night each time. He would sleep after sex, and I would watch him, spending so much time standing in the doorway that I eventually just brought my laptop into the bedroom and began doing work while his sated body rested beside me. Having that warmth next to me again, having _him_ there, brought back feelings I had thought long dead. I would type an email, then watch him stir, often pushing my work aside to wake him with a feather or a kiss. His body was always willing and pliable, his sounds of desire genuine as I entered him. After sex, I sometimes I would put work off to hold him, talk to him, get to know him. I found myself doing this more and more, never seemingly able to get enough of his touch or voice.

Watching Jasper sleep became one of my favorite things, second only to fucking him. I enjoyed it so much that one night he woke up to catch me masturbating as I watched him from a chair. Minutes later, he was impaling himself on me, riding me until we were both grunting and coming.

There was a trust built, tenuous at first, but enough that he admitted he had been a hooker on the streets. One night he had fallen asleep in my arms and I didn't have the heart, or the willpower, to leave him, so I pulled him closer and fell asleep myself. A few hours later his thrashing woke me up, and as I held his shaking body, he told me he'd had a nightmare. I offered to listen, but the concept seemed foreign to him. I asked him to confide in me, to trust someone for probably the first time in his life, and he did. That was when he told me about owing a pimp money for lost wages. His eyes were worried after he told me, his concern for owing the pimp not nearly as high as his fear of me thinking less of him because he had been a street hooker.

Just the opposite was true.

I admired him even more for having trusted me with the truth, and for getting off the streets. I had already suspected he had lived on the streets for some time, and assumed he had sold himself for money, so it came as no surprise when he confirmed it. Immediately I offered to help him, but he refused, the pride surging in his eyes as he told me he could handle it.

Whenever we saw each other, I would ask for an update, and once again offer to help. The ten thousand that he owned was only a small donation to one of my charities for a tax write off. I had the means to pay Jasper's debt, but he refused each time, insisting he had it under control, but it was hard to tell if he really did or if that was his pride talking. I understood pride, I had an abundance of it myself, and Jasper had every right to be proud of his accomplishments. Some people might have looked at him as nothing more than an expensive whore, but he was so much more than that. He was intelligent, witty, independent and selfless. There was sense of self preservation that I had never seen in anyone before. The people I knew defined self preservation by installing an expensive security system for their multimillion dollar homes.

Jasper's concern for paying James increased when a friend of his became involved. I had to admit, it was a smart move on James's part. Jasper might have been out of his reach, but a hooker on the streets wasn't. It was a tactical maneuver, and from the look on Jasper's face, one that worked. I maintained my offer to help, but understood his need to handle it himself. I would have wanted to do the same thing if I had been him.

Our relationship, if I could call it that, grew more every time we were together. I stopped working completely when he was with me, instead spending the night with him wrapped in my arms. He began to open up more, confiding more of his past, but never all of it. I got bits and pieces as he felt comfortable, and I accepted that. I could tell there was a deep pain there, one that would probably never go away.

I wasn't sure when it happened, when my heart started to beat for another for the first time since Nicolas.

Over the course of the months Jasper and I saw each other, I found myself thinking about him more often when he wasn't with me. Sitting at my desk at my office, I would fantasize about him, imagine he was there, bent over the desk, spread for me. Then my fantasies morphed from purely sexual to images of eating dinner with him, dancing, taking a bubble bath, or…taking him home to Texas. The more I thought about him, the more I craved him, everything about him, from his unique mind to sexy body to the huge heart that was sacrificing so much for a friend.

It wasn't love. It couldn't be, Jasper wasn't anything like Nicolas.

At least, that's what I told myself.

Then it happened.

There was a benefit, or roast, or fundraiser for a children's wing of hospital, it didn't' really matter what the event was, I was there with Jasper on my arm as my date. Jesus, he looked beautiful in his black tux. He was anxious to be on my arm, and I was proud to have him there. I showed him off to my associates, beaming as Jasper charmed them all with his quiet wit and stunning looks. Even though he was nervous, it didn't show, on the outside he was collected and calm. He joined in the conversation, adding to it, and working the crowd like the professional he was. The night was perfect except for one thing.

He was distracted.

It was barely noticeable, but I saw it. The glances toward another, glances that sometimes became a stare, the way he hesitated before answering a question, the way his hand left my thigh. It wasn't hard to follow his gaze to see the object of his attention, and when I did, I couldn't blame him

The man was handsome with a unique shade of red hair I'd never seen before.

It was no one I knew personally, but he looked vaguely familiar, I had probably seen him at other events. But it wasn't just attention Jasper gave the man, there was something else there. Jasper wasn't just admiring he man's striking looks.

He knew him.

Jasper covered it well, he divided his attention and certainly made sure my needs were met. Then he got up and went to the restroom. I thought nothing of it until I realized the bronze haired man was gone too. Something swelled inside me, not anger, but a hurt and…jealousy. My mind ran wild with scenarios of what was going on in the bathroom, none of which were probably true, but it didn't matter. By the time Jasper returned, my eyes were three shades darker. Then he tried to seduce me with dirty words and intimate touches, and I was dragging him out of there. I let him think it was his idea, that his plan to get me to leave worked, but I knew exactly what I was doing.

I had assumed the man was a client, and back at my hotel, Jasper confirmed it, claiming the man wasn't out and he feared Jasper outing him. I felt bad for the guy, but I wanted him away from my boy.

Because that was how I viewed Jasper. Somehow, sometime, he had become_ my_ boy.

I wasn't stupid, I knew his job required him to fuck other men, and I was okay with that. I just didn't want it thrown in my face, I doubt any of his clients did. They paid for a fantasy, of having him as theirs for a night, they didn't want to know that as soon as he left them, he was on his way to play out another's fantasy. At first I had been no different than them by paying for sex, but with Jasper it had ebbed into something completely different, something more than sex.

After I reddened his ass with a belt, then promptly fucked him against the window, I took him to bed.

He slept and I watched him.

Reaching over, I pushed the hair back from his face to watch him as he dozed. His cheeks were still a faint pink, his lips still swollen from our kisses. Jasper slept on his stomach, one leg slightly bent, his head to the side on my pillow while his arms were folded under it. The flesh of his ass was still red and hot, and I felt bad when he flinched as he moved in his sleep.

I had lost control, I had let my emotions take over, I had given into jealousy, masking it as something else.

I had hurt him.

I had never wanted to hurt Jasper, I wanted to protect him and when the guilt over what I had done washed through me, I knew it wasn't just guilt over being too harsh. It was so much more.

Jasper looked nothing like Nicolas, but the way he made me feel, making my heart race so much I felt alive for the first time in years, was identical to the way I had felt with Nick. I had never imagined it would be a hooker that would awaken my heart.

I was in love with Jasper.

Deeply, madly, unconditionally in love.

Sighing, I continued to watch him sleep, relishing in my newfound revelation. I hadn't been looking for love in all the wrong places. Hell, I wasn't looking for love at all, but it had found me in the form of a beautiful blond boy with a wide dimpled smile and a pure heart.

The lifetime I had spent looking for him was finally over.

It was then that I decided to take him to Texas. I wanted to be alone with him, no work or interferences with schedules or clients, his or mine. I had wanted to visit my momma for some time and it seemed perfect to take Jasper along with me, bring him back to his home state. Introduce him to the most important person in my life, show him my past, and maybe, just maybe get to know some of his past as well.

The next morning Jasper left my hotel room, looking tired and worn, but satisfied, and I immediately placed a call to Tanya, who was pleased to schedule Jasper for the weekend. Using the Service not only ensured Jasper wouldn't have any conflicts, but that he would get a portion of the money I was paying, enough to pay off a big chunk of what he owed.

At the airport, I began to suspect Jasper's life had been a lot more sheltered than I had first thought. He looked around warily, overwhelmed with all that was going on. Simple things like the checking our baggage or the cockpit were completely new to him, and with a childlike innocence, he followed me. Bringing Jasper to Texas wasn't about fucking him in a different state; it wasn't about sex at all. I simply wanted to get to know him better, and give him the chance to do the same. I wasn't surprised when he seduced me on the plane, and as much as I would have liked to say I could have stopped him, I wasn't so sure of that anymore. What power I had ever felt had transferred from me to him, and I was completely powerless to say no to my boy.

We arrived in Texas, I showed him around the ranch, smiling at his questions and the way he was curious about everything. He met Sam and charmed my mother. And while it still wasn't about sex, I couldn't resist letting him fuck my mouth, feed the urgency we both felt. He looked beautiful, lost in his need, as he stood before me, thrusting his cock in and out of my willing mouth. It was the first time I'd ever given anyone that power over me, and it was freeing. After he came, we danced naked on the balcony overlooking the back forty of the ranch. His body was smooth and warm and perfect in my arms. Then he asked about my father…and love.

Telling Jasper I was in love with him wasn't something I had planned. It just…happened. The moment was right, and before I could stop, the words were out. The second they left my mouth, I was internally berating myself for pushing him, for telling him too soon, but his reaction wasn't one of fear but rather surprise. It wasn't until later that weekend that I realized love wasn't something Jasper had ever considered, with me or anyone else. For him, love was not a real concept, but one of fantasy, like a mythical creature it was something he had heard of but never actually seen.

That he didn't say the words back to me didn't matter. I saw it in his eyes, a feeling growing behind the azure, one he wasn't sure of, that he felt uncomfortable about, and that was fine. I had time, I wasn't going anywhere. Love grows, it wasn't immediate, it wasn't at first sight no matter what the movies and books told you. There was chemistry, physical attraction and cohesiveness, then from those things, love could grow and nurture if given the chance. It was only a matter of time before he realized that what he felt growing inside him was love.

And I would wait until he loved me back.

Lying in bed with him that that first night in Texas, just after I had told him that I thought I was in love with him, I saw something I didn't like, something he wore.

A watch.

He said it was a gift, I said I didn't like it. There was no doubt who it was from, the same person that had possessively marked his neck. The same person I'd seen at the party.

But Jasper spent the night in _my_ arms, embraced by my body and my love.

The next day we rode the fences. I had never smiled as much as I did watching Jasper work around the barn, the way he complained, his eyes groggy in the early morning hours as he fumbled around the horses. Once we were up on the horses, we headed out, and in the openness of the fields, he finally told me about his parents' drug use, the neglect and eventual move to the state home.

Guilt flooded me as I realized what I had done.

I had hoped he would be happy to be back in the dry heat and sun again, but just the opposite was true. He was anxious, he wanted nothing more than to leave as soon as fucking possible. By bringing him to Texas, I had forced him back to a place he had been trying so hard to forget.

When he finished telling his story, I had even more respect, and love, for him than before.

I asked him what he wanted in life, he said to be safe. I asked about love, he said love wasn't for hookers. He said he didn't deserve love, I told him he was wrong.

If _anyone_ deserved love, it was him.

That night, he told me he needed me, that it didn't have to be about sex, that it could just be about us. By asking him to make love to me, I was making it about us. I wanted to share that with him, something I hadn't shared with anyone else. He was gentle, caring…loving. He took care of me better than anyone else would have, putting my needs and comfort well before his own. The way he watched me, so intently, I knew he felt it too, the swell of emotions between us as he filled me and brought me a new kind of pleasure.

Physically he gave me everything he had and more, but emotionally, he held back. I wasn't sure why, perhaps it was too much too soon, or being overwhelmed by his past, but I respected it.

I could wait for him to love me, but I couldn't wait to tell him.

"I love you, Jasper," I whispered, gazing into his eyes.

Hearing them aloud for the first time from me, he was speechless.

"It's okay, Jasper, there's no rush. When you're ready."

Because one day he would be ready.

And I would be there when he was.

The night was only marred by a phone call he received while I was making love to him. Our attention was only on each other, I didn't even take my eyes from him as I reached for his phone, pressing buttons to stop the noise. Jasper came and any interruptions were quickly forgotten as I watched the ecstasy cross his face as he cock shot his load.

The rest of the trip was perfect, but we arrived back in Seattle far too soon. When we said goodbye on the sidewalk, I made him promise to call if he needed help with James. He swore he would, and I kissed him. Then I told him I loved him, and promised him someday he would too.

Standing there, I watched him pull away, unknowingly taking my heart with him.

It was too long before I saw him again, work had been busy with a scandal involving the daughter of Merrick's CEO and her online sex tape. I logged in more hours at the office than usual, doing damage control and media bites to take care of the image of the company. By the end of the week, the media blitz had moved on to the next big thing, just like I said they would, but the company sustained some damage, their stocks plummeted for a few days, never quite recovering all the way.

I called the Service and scheduled a dinner with Jasper. He arrived at my house, complete with cowboy boots, looking beautiful. I wrapped him in my arms, inhaling his scent for the first time in over a week. As I showed him around my house, he did the same thing he had done in

Texas; he picked up pictures and asked questions. We went into the kitchen and I put him to work, watching him as he left to set the table. I walked in and found him pouring the wine, he seemed comfortable…at home. Having him my house made me yearn even more for what I had been missing, someone to come home to, someone to greet me with a smile and hold me after a bad day.

Fucking someone was great.

Making love to someone every night was better.

Having someone to share your life with was amazing.

And I missed it.

I never expected his breakdown when I had asked about his friend. Sitting there, stunned, I held him as he drowned in the guilt of what had happened. Uselessly, I tried to explain that it wasn't his fault, it was what addicts did. Then I told him how I knew that, that Nicolas, the man I had thought I would be with forever, had driven a wedge between us with his drug abuse. I told him I had lived the lies, the deceit, the guilt. They were powerful things, ruling your actions and life more than you would ever want to admit.

That night was supposed to be about getting to know each other more, it was supposed to be dinner and conversation, not making love on my couch. But when Jasper seduced, there was no refusing. When he left, I promised to see him soon, but I hadn't thought it would be quite so soon.

When the phone rang, I answered it, expecting it to be a friend calling about our plans for the following night, but then I heard his broken voice.

"Hello?"

"Peter?" he responded with a shaky voice.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"I need you," he whispered.

I didn't hesitate, not that I ever would for Jasper. "Come right over."

"Thanks," he said just before he hung up.

Anxious, I put my cell phone down on my desk and leaned back in my chair, resting my head against it. I didn't know what was going on, but I had heard it in his voice. It was bad. Getting up, I tucked my phone in my jeans pocket and went to the door. Opening it, I waited for him.

There was an eerie silence when I looked up to the sparkling stars in the clear sky as I folded my arms across my chest to keep myself warm in the chilly night air. Time stopped while I waited for him, resisting the unusual urge to pace along the porch. My heart pounded with the possibilities that went through my head. I knew Jasper, he wouldn't have called if it was urgent.

_I need you._

It wasn't the words that worried me, it was the way he had said them, broken, lost, scared.

S taxi pulled up and I saw Jasper hand the driver money before he opened the door and got out. The cab left and Jasper looked up at me. He came up the steps and I immediately swept him into my arms, wrapping them tightly around him and nuzzling my nose in his hair. He smelled of city air, not the fresh air of the suburbs. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his arms around my neck as he literally clung to me. I felt the wetness on my flesh, soaking the top of my shirt, before he even realized he was crying.

"Babe," I sighed, holding him even tighter. "Are you hurt?"

He shook his head, but didn't let me go.

So I just held him.

Eventually, he lifted his head, unashamedly showing me his tear streaked face. Lifting my hand from his back, I pushed his curls from his face and gazed at him. The anguish was clear, it swam in the blues of his eyes, along with a guilt I had seen in there before.

"Riley?" I asked, assuming he had lost the friend he was trying desperately to save. He nodded slightly, averting his eyes from mine, settling his gaze somewhere over my shoulder.

There was more.

"Come on," I said, guided him inside. I closed the door behind us and led him to the couch where I sat him down next to me and rubbed his back. "What happened?"

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his head hanging low as he shook it disbelievingly. "I fucked up. I really fucked up."

"How?"

He sighed heavily, his mind weighing the words before he began. "I thought he'd be safe, but I was stupid, careless, and I left him alone." Guilt dripped on every syllable. I pulled him to me and he put his head on my shoulder as my arm went around his back to secure him to me.

"Is he…"

"No," he shook his head, "but it was too fucking close. Broken ribs, something to his spleen and lungs…" He stopped, the words too much for him to relive. "Another hooker found him in an alley, called the ambulance. He's in the hospital now."

"Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, he was sedated but he's more awake now."

"He's going to be okay?"

"I think so."

"I'm sorry, babe," I murmured, kissing his head.

He was still for a long time, his body resting against mine, his warmth barely seeping through his leather jacket. His hand rested on my thigh and I saw the silver flash of his watch peek out from under the sleeve of his coat and there was a slight tightening in my chest. When he lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me, there were new tears rolling down his face, and even stronger guilt in his eyes.

"There's more," he said quietly.

"Tell me."

He took a deep breath and clenched his eyes shut. "I left the hospital to go find James."

"Okay," I replied, hoping to coax him when he paused.

"I went to find James," he repeated, "to kill him."

Instantly, my body tensed, and I was sure he felt it. "Damn it, Jasper," I growled. "What the hell were you thinking? Why the fuck didn't you call me?"

Then I embraced him again, a wave of gratefulness cresting in me that I was able to hold him. Holding him even tighter than before, I carded my fingers through his hair, my mind crowded with the thoughts of what I would have done if something had happened to him. I had lost one love, I didn't want to lose another. He sank into me, letting me support him.

"I'm sorry. I had to…"

"No, you didn't. You could have called me, babe. I could have helped. You could have gotten yourself killed," I scolded him with a trembling voice. Then it dawned on me that he might have gone through with it. James might be dead and I might be holding his killer. Finally, I worked up the courage to ask, "Did you…"

"No."

Relief flooded me and I felt some of the tenseness leave my body, focusing on the fact that my boy was still alive.

"I wanted to. I had a knife, I had it all planned. I knew his men would get me the second I did it, but I didn't care. After what he did to Rile… I needed to, Peter, I _had_ to."

"But you didn't?" I asked again, reassuring myself.

"No."

There had to be a reason.

"Why not?"

A long, heavy silence filled the air. Reaching up with his free hand, the one with the watch, he ran it through my hair and gave me a slight smile at its longer length. Then he traced my face, around my eyes, down my cheek, delicately over my lips. I pursed them and kissed the rough pad of his thumb. Reverently, he touched me. Closing my eyes, I basked in his tenderness, the softness in the weight of what he was doing.

"Peter, I wish…I wish I could give you what you want," he whispered.

Opening my eyes, I saw tears brimming on the edges of his and I wiped them away before they fell. "You do, babe. Every time we're together, you do."

He was shaking his head, his curls tumbling loosely around his face, even before I finished speaking. "No, not like that. I…I wish I could love you the same way you do me."

My hand fell from his face to my lap.

"But…" he paused, closing his eyes. "I can't."

A lump rose in my throat, and no matter how many times I tried to swallow it down, it remained, thick and suffocating as I tried to breathe through the intense ache that settled in my heart.

"Why not?" I choked out, my voice barely audible. Had I done something wrong, was it something I could fix?

Cupping my cheek, he opened his eyes and gazed into mine. It was like a curtain had lifted on them. I saw so much more than just beautiful blue eyes; I saw his tormented past, the fractured soul from his life beginning to repair itself, his devotion to his friend, his passion for me and his love…for another.

"There's someone else," I murmured, almost surprised to hear myself say the words.

He didn't need to answer. It was all in his eyes, eyes that he was finally letting me see for the first time. Jasper was always so well guarded, for months and all the times we'd been together, I had never realized there was another.

And I knew exactly who it was.

I felt foolish, stupid and naïve. How could I have not known? It was right there, and I had stupidly chosen to ignore it. It hurt as much as I suspected it would. It was a scenario I never wanted to face, but had often thought about late at night in bed when my mind would race, creating disturbing images in my head to keep me awake. My stomach twisted and churned, and I felt sick as I swallowed the bile that had risen in my throat around the lump.

"I'm so sorry…" he apologized as I pushed him away from me and stood up, not even looking at him as I left the room.

Entering my office, I walked to the sliding glass door and looked out. In the soft blue glow from the moon I saw Jasper and the other man, their limbs tangled in a sated sleep after lovemaking, their hands possessively on each other's bodies, the red head's hair mussed from my love's fingers, Jasper's lips swollen from kisses. In the dark sky I saw two lovers intimate and satisfied in their embrace.

I heard him walk up behind me, I felt his arms wrap around my waist, his forehead press against my shoulder, his breaths wash over back.

I wanted to stay angry, I wanted to be mad and toss him out.

My hands found his on my stomach and I laced our fingers together.

Because even as my heart ached, my body craved his, and I would take every scrap of comfort he offered. Neither of us spoke. He held me and I let him. With every breath he took, every breath that I now knew was for another, a vice clamped around my heart, a physical pain in my chest that stole my shallow breath.

"It's him, isn't it?" Against my back, he nodded, and his arms tightened around me, pressing his chest to my back. "Why are you here?" I asked, confused. He had called, said he needed me, yet when he came over I found out that he was in love with someone else. It wasn't me he needed after all.

"It's not only Riley's life that's being threatened," he answered cryptically. I waited for him to continue on his own. "James…he knows about… him. He wants more money."

I closed my eyes and sighed. He was there to ask me to help save not only his friend, but his lover.

"Details," I demanded. He lifted his head from my shoulder, his eyes looking out the window with mine. Right before he spoke, I took a deep breath, knowing I was going to need it.

"I had just gotten home when Rick-"

"Home from where?"

Steeling himself, he inhaled a shaky voice. "Peter, I don-"

I tore myself from his arms, which fell to his sides as he watched me warily. Putting some much needed distance between us, I moved to my desk and sat in the chair, feeling more secure with a few feet of heavy oak between us. Jasper didn't move, he faced the doors, staring out of them, completely still except for the slight movement of his chest barely visible under his leather jacket.

"I deserve to know," I told him with a bravery I didn't feel as I stared at him. Even though it was like pouring salt on a fresh wound, if I was going to help him, I had to know what I was up against.

Without turning to me, he spoke. "I didn't pay James last week and then I went away this weekend, but I put Riley in a hotel room to keep him safe. He didn't stay, he went out to score and James found him. When I got home, Ricky, a friend of Riley's, came to my place and told me that Riley was in the hospital. I went and stayed there until he woke up. Then I told him he was coming home with me when he got out, he finally agreed. Once I knew he was going to be safe, I went to see James…"

"To kill him," I finished, shaking my head. "What if something had happened to you, Jasper? What would Riley have done then? What would _I_ have fucking done then?"

"I left instructions with Riley," he mumbled.

"What kind of instructions?"

"I told him if I was caught, to call you, that you would know what to do. I told him if I didn't come back, to call you and tell you that I was sorry I couldn't be what you needed, but that I…." he stopped, closing his eyes, shaking.

Unable to stand it, I stood and went to him. When he was within arm's reach, I stopped and waited. It was a long moment before he opened his eyes and looked into mine.

"That you what?"

"That I love you as a friend. That I hope you find the love you deserve," he breathed into the air between us, never taking his gaze from me.

The wound in my chest got bigger

"And to thank you for giving me faith in myself and treating me with respect."

"Jasper, I treated you like you should have been treated your entire life. I didn't do anything special," I sighed.

His eyes narrowed. "Bullshit. You treated a whore like an equal. None of my other clients do that."

"Is…" I exhaled, "he a client?"

"He used to be," he admitted softly. I turned away from him, facing the window again. The torment of seeing his lips mention _him_, seeing the softness in his eyes when _he _was mentioned, was too much bear.

"I still don't know why you're here, Jasper. Is it for money?"

"I need help. I don't know what to do."

"About James?"

"Yeah."

"I don't get the problem. You're friend is alive and will live with you. James isn't an issue anymore," I reasoned.

"Actually, he's more of an issue now than ever," he countered.

Frustrated, I glanced at him over my shoulder. "Just say it."

Clearing his throat, he took a step closer, close enough so I could feel his body heat, but he didn't touch me. "When I went to see James, I realized he thought Riley was dead, so I let him think that. Then he said he wanted more money and I told him to fuck off. Then he told me to ask my sugar daddy for it."

"He knows?" I asked incredulously. I had always thought James was nothing more than a small time pimp and dealer, but maybe I hadn't given him enough credit.

"Rile had given Rick my address and had told him that if something ever happened to him, to come tell me. James followed Ricky, knowing that he would run to me if something happened with Riley. James saw Edward and me leaving my building."

_Edward._

The man who stole the heart of the boy I loved was named_ Edward_. The name had fallen from my boy's lips effortless, easily…lovingly. The acid churned in my stomach and I felt sicker.

"He wants five thousand a week until he says I can stop. He threatened to hurt and expose Edward if I don't pay. Now that he knows where I live, he'll find out Riley is alive and he won't be safe anymore," he finished in a murmur. He put a hand on my arm, squeezing my bicep. "I don't know what to do. I'm in over my head. I need your help."

Closing my eyes, I felt the heat of his hand on me, my body instinctively responding to his wasn't something I could turn off regardless of what was happening to my heart.

"I don't have that kind of money," he whispered.

Turning, I faced him. His head was hanging, tufts of hair covered his eyes, his skin was pale, his lips quivering. Even though he was standing in my office, asking me to help him and his lover, he was still fiercely independent. It was because of that independence that I knew it wasn't just a lover in danger. He stood there, shaken and distraught, completely lost and even without him saying the words, I knew.

There wasn't just someone else.

Jasper was in love with Edward.

Putting a hand under his chin, I lifted it and forced his eyes to mine. I don't know how I had missed it before, it was so obvious in his eyes, the storm raging there surged for someone else.

_Edward._

Surrounding his love for another was fear and desperation, things I'd never seen in him before, even the first night with me when he had been scared, he hadn't been like this. His hands went from his side to my waist, fisting my shirt his breaths became short and panicked while he tried to fight for what little control he had. He was falling apart in front of me, piece by piece his soul was tearing as the life he had tenuously built for himself began to deteriorate.

Leaning forward, I brushed my lips over his, feeling trembling but not sure if it was me or him. He tilted his head, letting me guide the kiss's intensity and duration. It was soft, brief, but I felt his body instantly begin to calm, the shaking gradually fading to occasional tremors. It was cliché, but kissing Jasper truly did feel like home, it was warm, comforting, familiar and passionate. There was no place I would have rather been than in his arms, but as our lips met, I knew I wasn't his home. Pulling away, I curved a hand around his neck and rested my forehead to his.

"I love you, babe" I whispered.

And I did.

With all my heart, I loved him. His telling me there was another didn't change how I felt, it just made it hurt a whole lot fucking more.

A few tears slipped from his eyes and he tugged his bottom lip into his mouth and nodded. We stayed just like until I felt his hands loosen their gasp on my shirt and his breaths began to lengthen and even out. There was a gaping hole in my chest, and I was sure if I looked down I would have seen the blood oozing from the wound, soaking my shirt where my heart used to be. I knew if I looked in his hands I would have found my heart in them, beating strong because it was with him, and it always would be.

Long ago I had promised Jasper I would help him, and I was going to try to save him, and Edward, but as I saw my heart beating in his fist, I wondered…who was going to save me?

Releasing him, I took a step back, inhaling my own breath to make sure I still could. Slowly, Jasper brought his eyes to mine and he reached for me, but then let his hand fall. We both wanted so much that neither of us could provide.

But I had always told Jasper I would be there for him no matter what, and I was a man of my word. I would not go back on that just because there was someone else.

"I need you to go to the hospital and stay there until I come and get you," I told him, my mind already going into damage control mode. "I want you seen by nurses, doctors, anyone that can vouch for you if need be."

He inhaled sharply and nodded. Turning I walked back to my desk and sat down. "Are you going to pay him?"

"No, it won't do any good," I replied, shaking my head.

"Then wha-"

I put up a hand and stopped him. "You don't need to know. Just do what I say, okay?" Again, he nodded. When I saw the relief of knowing I was going to help in his eyes, I closed my own and sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Peter," he murmured sincerely.

I wanted to tell him that I knew he was, that I didn't blame him, I had offered to help, and every other thing that might soothe his frayed nerves. Instead, I just nodded and clenched my eyes as the ache in my chest increased to an intolerable level. We were quiet for a few moments as I regained some of my strength.

"What does he look like?" I finally asked, opening my eyes.

"Short, but muscular with long, blond hair that he wears back. He's usually on Fourth and Pine."

"When?"

"Usually by late afternoon."

"Let's go then," I said, standing.

"Where?"

"I'm bringing you back to the hospital."

"But…" He stopped, remembering what I had said.

"What hospital?"

"Harborview."

I was sure he saw the look of surprise on my face, but he didn't know why it was there. There were a dozen hospitals in Seattle and his friend happened to be at the one I used to work for. A quick image of Brenden went through my mind before I was standing up.

Without another word, I went to the hall closet and grabbed a coat, shoving my arms into it as I grabbed my keys and wallet from the table next the door. Jasper followed me through the kitchen the garage and waited while I set the alarm to the house. Turning, I pointed to the black Audi A6 parked in between the Hummer and Lotus Elite. We got into the Audi and I started it, opening the garage door behind us and backing out. Jasper settled back in his seat but didn't relax as much as I expected he would. Staring out the window, his knee bounced up and down as I pulled through the gate and onto the road, glancing up to make sure the gate closed behind me. After a few miles of his nerves and fisting his hand on his thigh, I placed my hand on his and immediately felt it open up and his leg stopped moving. Under mine, his hand turned upward, his fingers entwining with my own.

I had built a world that I wanted to share with him, one I had imagined someday I would, but on the way to hospital, as he held my hand, it started to sink in that it wasn't my world he wanted to share.

We arrived at the hospital without having spoken a word, and I pulled up the drop off section. I shifted into park and waited but he made no motion to get out, his hand still tightly gripped mine.

"I'm scared," he mumbled, his gaze falling on our hands on his lap.

Sighing, I brought our hands up to my mouth and kissed his. "Don't be."

"What if something happens to you?" he asked, guilt already readily flowing through him.

"It won't," I assured him. "I need to know where you live." He didn't hesitate to tell me, even the apartment number. "Go be with your friend. Stay here until I come to get you. Do not go home," I instructed, and he slowly nodded. "Do you need money or anything?"

When he didn't answer, I pulled my wallet out of my coat and handed him a hundred dollar bill. "You've got my number, call me if something happens, other than that, just wait."

Again, he nodded.

"Promise me, Jasper? I don't want to worry about you."

"I promise I will stay here and call you if something happens," he vowed quietly.

"That's my boy," I smiled weakly, the enormity of the words caressing me only after I had said them.

Jasper wasn't my boy, he was someone else's.

"Go," I said harshly. Jasper had seen me many ways, but I didn't want him to witness the potential breakdown I felt coming on. Looking at me one last time, he pulled his hand from mine and cupped my cheek with it.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Please be careful."

"I always am," I replied.

It wasn't true. I used to be careful, but since Jasper had walked into my life, I had begun taking chances again, and it had made me feel a way I hadn't in years. My chances with him had been a gamble and it wasn't paying off. Leaning forward, he kissed me softly before opening the door and getting out. Pulling away without waving, I looked in my rearview mirror and saw him standing worried and grief stricken on the sidewalk. As he got smaller in my mirror, I growled when I realized he wasn't going inside.

"Damn it, Jasper," I muttered to myself. He stared at the car, and I was about to stop when he finally turned around and went inside. Pulling onto the main street, I stepped on the gas, weaving in and out of traffic all my way home.

_Edward._

The fickle visions of them together refused to leave me alone, plaguing my thoughts that should have been focusing on the problem at hand, not the ache in my chest. Letting my emotions rule me wasn't going to do me or Jasper any good. I needed to purge them, rid my body of the agony that dwelled in it. Just as my life was starting to crumble, I was going to try and save Jasper's from doing the same thing.

Tossing the keys on the table in the foyer, I slipped my jacket down my arms, letting it fall to the floor as I headed down the hallway for the bathroom.

The cold porcelain of the toilet was only slightly comforting as I leaned over it, heaving the contents of my stomach, the steak and potatoes I'd had for dinner with some friends. My body jerked as I gasped for breath. No matter how much I threw up, the agony was still there, tearing so violently at my heart that I swear I felt it rip in two. Panting, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and sat back against the wall, feeling the sweat beading on my forehead and running down my face. I began to feel empty, not only my stomach but my chest as well. The ache remained, but it was only because of the hole left behind. Feeling empty and numb was much better than heartbroken, it was what I needed in order to continue with what I had promised. Reaching into my pants pocket, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his number.

"Hello?"

"I need you…" was all I said, echoing Jasper's words to me.

"Come right over," he replied before hanging up.

The sound of a car backfiring roused me from my memories, bringing my attention back to the current. Blinking, I cleared my mind of all thoughts of Jasper, and the agony that went with him. Glancing down the street, I saw an old Chevy sputtering along, probably the one that had backfired.

The windows on the Audi were tinted, but I kept the sunglasses on just in case anyone walking by decided to get curious about the dark sedan. I'd been parked across from Fourth and Pine since late afternoon, waiting until the sun set and the streets in the seedier part of town came alive with hookers, dealers, and those seeking the aide of either of them. As the sun began to lower behind the horizon of the rundown brick buildings, I watched the few streetlights that worked come on, illuminating the damp sidewalks with a dim, eerie glow. It had been a long time since I had been to that part of town, since Nicolas had been using. The red light district was well known throughout the city, it was where you went for cheap pussy, dick, or tainted drugs. You couldn't get the good shit on these streets, for that you had to go to a bigger dealer. Nick had lived in Seattle for several months before he'd figured out there was better shit than what the street dealers sold him.

I didn't jump when there was a knock on my window, but I turned my head and looked out my passenger side. Standing next to my car was a young guy dressed in dirty, baggy clothes, but his hair was cut close to his scalp and his eyes not yet sunken in.

He hadn't been on the streets long.

Looking at him, I saw Jasper. New and innocent to the streets, unsure of where he belonged, trying to pick up older men for cash to feed himself.

Cracking the window open, I watched him as he anxiously looked inside, taking in the plush leather interior trimmed in wood and gold. I could practically see the dollar signs in his eyes

"Looking for a date?" he asked nervously.

"Not tonight." His face fell a bit, and I sighed. It was going to be a long night for the kid. Popping a compartment on the dash, I pulled a fifty from it and rolled the window further down. "Get some food," I said, holding the money toward him.

He looked it incredulously, "Are you fucking serious?"

I arched my brow to show that I was in fact fucking serious. Tentatively, he reached in and quickly snatched the cash, shoving it deep into his jeans pocket before I could change my mind.

"Thanks, man," he smiled. It was youthful, untainted by the darkness of the street life. A few months from then, he would barely smile, and when he did, it would be a wary, knowing smirk as he tried to pick up a john. "You sure you don't want anything? Blow job?"

"I'm sure. Just get some food."

"I will, thanks," he repeated as he stepped back from the car and I pressed the button to put the window up.

I watched as he turned and headed down the street, a new bounce to his step. He was way too young to be already heading down the road he was traveling, and my already sore heart ached a little more for him. Movement across the street caught my eye, and I tore my attention from the boy to a group of people standing in the doorway of an abandoned building. Narrowing my eyes, I studied the group, skimming over the curves of the hookers to the muscles of the two men, finally settling on the short man with long blond hair.

It was James.

He was talking with one of the girls while two others waited nearby. The girls' clothes were skimpy at best, tight spandex pants and tops, and on their feet were heels that had seen better days. Even from a distance I could see the makeup painted on their young faces, they were clearly no older than my boy, probably even years younger. Runaways or girls James had lured from their homes with promises of fame and glory. Jasper had been one of the lucky ones, the streets were a vicious cycle, and once a person was snared by its life, it was almost impossible to get out. It was a few moments later that one of the girls held her hand out and James handed her something before smirking at her. Turning, she and her friends headed down the street, wobbling on their high heels.

James then began talking to the two men with him. The taller of the two looked like he had been the to the gym, his arms embraced by his tight tee shirt, and I briefly wondered if he was one of the ones that had beaten Jasper's friend. His hair was long, just reaching his chin, but the top part was pulled back behind his head. The second man's muscle wasn't on his body, but rather in the waistband of his jeans where the handle of a gun jutted out. Neither man appeared to be listening to James, one worked out the kinks in his neck while the other smoked a cigarette and kept looking around. After sharing a few laughs, they both ambled off, heading in separate directions at the corner. Glancing in my mirror, I watched one stop about a block behind me while the other turned down an alley to my right. Immediately, my eyes went to the top of the building across from me and then darted to the corner in front of me where a black Mercedes was parked facing me.

For over an hour, I continued to watch the street. The girls were all dressed alike, some tall, some thin, some not, but every one of them was in too tight clothing and heels. Women didn't do anything for me, but I had to give them credit on selling themselves. Their tops and pants displayed their best assets, tits and ass, but left little to the imagination. A few approached my car, not sure if anyone was inside or not, they cupped their hands as they looked into my window. Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I would crack my window and tell them I wasn't interested. When I ignored the 'are you sure, honey?' they finally left me alone.

Cars drove slowly through the four blocks of the district, occasionally pulling over to get a closer look at someone that caught their eye. I watched as one car stopped in front of me, a tall blonde approached it and quickly got in. I saw her say something to the guy, then he shifted in his seat right before she bent over. Shaking my head, I turned back to the corner where James seemed to have set up shop.

He was just as Jasper described, cleaner than I expected, but I supposed with the money from Jasper and his own hookers, plus the sales from drugs, James could afford a dive of an apartment, unlike his employees. There was a steady stream of people coming up to him, mostly women, but a few boys as well. James rarely seemed alone and I knew even when he seemed to be, he really wasn't. He smoked constantly, his foot endlessly crushing the cigarette butts under his worn boots. He was in a white tee shirt with a ratty looking leather jacket on over it, and baggy jeans with a ripped knee. There was a few days scruff on his jaw and throat, and his hair was loosely pulled back. My eyes rarely left him as I watched every move he made, from the evil smiles to the leery glances up and down the blocks to the way he handed his hookers their drugs. To his left was an alley, the one I imagined Riley had been beaten in, and I watched the entrance to it for a while, seeing two guys go down it, only to exit about fifteen minutes later. I saw car after car cruise down the road, boys getting in before the car would speed away. It seemed like a ludicrous business, but competition was high, to say nothing of risking your life every night by getting into cars with people you didn't know with no guarantee you were going to get out of it alive.

My phone vibrated with a text message and I read it, glancing out my window before putting it back into my pocket. It was close to ten before I opened my door and got out, automatically glancing at the rooftops of the building across from me and behind me, then down to the parked Mercedes, before walking across the street. I stepped onto the sidewalk and headed toward the corner where James sat on the steps of a building talking on a cell phone. My heart didn't pound or race, it beat steady as the hem of my wool coat brushed the back of my jean clad calves with each long stride. When I reached the end of the block, and stepped off the sidewalk to cross the last street that separated us, I glanced over my shoulder at the black sedan, then again up at the buildings.

"Hey, sugar, you looking for a good time?" a woman asked, leaning against a wall.

"You need a better line," I grumbled as I passed, keeping my eyes on the man sitting on the steps.

As I approached, he happened to look my way and saw me. His eyes went to the alley and then across the street before they rested on me. When I within about thirty feet, he ended his call and put the phone in his pocket, then he leaned back on the steps, appearing relaxed when I knew he was anything but. I stopped just out of his reach, smirking as I looked down the alley and saw the dark shadows of two guys fucking, their grunts muffled only by the sounds of the streets.

"You're a little dressed up to be looking for a date down here," James commented, his eyes appreciatively starting at my feet and working their way up, pausing at my dick before finally reaching my face. "But I'm sure I've got something that will suit your needs."

"I doubt it," I replied. "I've got better way better taste than anything you could provide."

"Mmm," he moaned. "I can see that. Perhaps I could offer myself then, a discounted rate just for a hot guy like you."

"I'm not here for a social call."

He tilted his head, studying me before speaking again. "Then perhaps I can interest you in some medicinal entertainment?"

"I'm here to talk to your boss."

"You're looking at him," he grinned proudly, holding his arms out by his side.

"Huh," I paused, running my eyes unappreciatively over him. "I pictured someone with more intelligence."

Immediately, his eyes narrowed and his arms fell to his sides. "Fuck off, asshole."

"I don't think so, James," I answered with sigh. He was unable to hide the look of shocked that flashed across his face. Before he could reply, I continued, "See, you're bothering a friend of mine and I'm here to ask you nicely to stop."

Dirty blond brows furrowed as he thought for a minute, and then realized who I was referring to. He shook his head and pulled a cigarette out of a box sitting next to him. Popping it into his mouth, he flicked a lighter and inhaled deeply as he held the flame to the end of the cigarette. Setting the lighter down on the cement step, he looked up at me and exhaled a long stream of smoke up toward me, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"I should have known that bitch would have more than one sugar daddy, but now that I see you, I know he can afford more than what I'm charging," he shrugged and took a drag of the cigarette.

"Actually, you will leave him, and anyone he associates with, the fuck alone," I demanded in an even, confident tone.

"Or what?" he scoffed. "You'll work me over, big guy? I don't think you want to get your designer clothes dirty. Just go back to your suburbs and let me handle my people."

"I'm officially over the foreplay," I sighed, taking a step closer. He resisted the urge to stand in defense, trying to appear in control when we both knew it was slipping through his fingers. "Jasper will no longer be paying you any money, not one cent. In addition, you will leave him and his friend alone."

Finally, he stood, lifting his chin to bring his eyes to mine. Looking down at him, I stood straight and widened my shoulders.

"Listen, I don't talk bitch, faggot, and I don't take orders from you or anyone else. This is my turf, Jasper is my bitch-"

"Jasper is no one's bitch," I growled. "You on the other hand, are. You sit here and pretend to be all fucking that when we both know you are nothing but a two bit whore and low life dealer that can't make it in the real world with the rest of us."

Glaring at me, he inhaled the nicotine and then exhaled the smoke into my face.

I was pushing his buttons, and I knew it. I might have been there to save Jasper, but I was going to have a little fun along the way, and seeing James piss his pants was going to be the highlight of my day. Stepping away from me, he leaned against the corner of the building, not able to hide his glance over my left shoulder and down the street.

"I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you need to leave right the fuck now or I can't be held responsible for what might happen to a dainty bitch like you on the these dangerous streets," he threatened.

"Oh, I'm scared," I chuckled.

"You should be," he agreed. There was a slight flick of his head as he shook a few loose strands of hair off his face. Taking one more drag on his cigarette, he tossed it onto the ground and pressed it into the pavement with the toe of his boot.

"Yeah?" I raised my brows and smiled. "And why is that, James?"

He was unnerved when I used his name again, the corner of his lip twitching up, his upper hand quickly fading away. Pushing off the building, he pointedly looked behind me, making sure I noticed, before dragging his bloodshot eyes to mine.

"Because I've got three me-"

"Two," I corrected him. "One unarmed in the corner building to my left, the other is standing the end of the alley to my right. He's at least a hundred yards away, out of range for the slow forty-five he's got on him, and I'd be willing to bet with his poor aim, he'd miss me by a mile."

"Two is better than none," he smirked confidently, ignoring the fact that I knew exactly what he was working with.

"But not as good as four," I replied with a smile. "One is an ex marine. Sharpshooter. He can have a bullet between your eyes before you even thought about it."

"Yeah, right," he huffed, but then his eyes darted around us.

"You really want to call my bluff?" I challenged before taking a step closer to him. "See, James, I don't make idle threats, they aren't worth my time, and honestly, neither are you. So, you can either do as I tell you to, or…" I shrugged, letting him weigh what I said.

While he had been momentarily thrown by my words, he regained himself and casually pulled another cigarette from the package, bending over with it dangling from his mouth to grab his lighter. Straightening, he lit it and put the lighter in his back pocket, my eyes never leaving his hands as he moved. I hadn't seen if he was armed or not and I wasn't going to take any chances.

"Do we have a deal?" I asked as he exhaled and stared at me.

"I don't make deals," he smirked. "I do things my way and my way only."

"Well, Mr. Sinatra, I'm sorry to hear that." He looked confused at my reference, but shook it off.

"Why?"

"Because it's the only way you're going to survive," I smiled, before he could respond, I explained. "See, James," I spat his name, "I might look like the all American boy from the suburbs, but I happen to have some friends on the streets. While we don't get together for afternoon tea, he owes me a favor, and I've decided to cash in on it."

I glanced down at the Mercedes and nodded. Seconds later, the back door opened and a man stepped out, returning my nod. I swear the second he stepped a foot outside his car, the streets grew eerily silent as everyone held a collective breath.

"You might even know my friend? From what I hear he has a bit of a reputation on the streets," I asked, pointing down the street. James followed my finger, his eyes widening when he recognized the man standing next to the car. "I admit, he didn't know anything about you until I filled him in with all the details, including the threats made to Jasper and Edward, as well as what happened to Riley. You're nothing but a nuisance to him, one he wouldn't normally bother with, but because I asked a favor he is willing to overlook your lack of importance and do a job for me. He wanted to get it over with, the only reason you're still standing here is because I decided to give you a second chance."

Swallowing thickly, James looked back at me, his fear flooding his shit brown eyes.

"Yeah, I thought so. You're nothing but a scared bitch now, huh? So, here's what's going to happen, James. You will leave Jasper, and everyone he has ever spoken to, alone. He will not pay you any money, nor will you ask. Hell, you won't even look in his direction. If you see him walking down the streets, you better fucking cross it or you won't see the next sunrise. I can guarantee my friend down there would have no problem cutting you into pieces so small they will never find them all. The same thing goes for anyone that works for you. He will have someone watching every fucking move you make. You won't be able to take a shit without one of his men knowing what it smells like."

James licked his lips, trying to keep one eye on me, the other on the man by the car.

"So I ask again. Do we have a deal?"

For a long moment James eyed the Mercedes, I could practically hear his thoughts as he bit his lip, nervously flicking the ash from his burning cigarette onto the sidewalk. I noticed that while he looked in the direction of the car, he never actually made eye contact with anyone near it. Finally, he put the cigarette between his lips and nodded slowly.

"I can't hear you," I teased just because I could.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Yes…"

"Yes, sir," he growled.

"Good boy. Now I'm going to leave before your stench seeps into my jacket, because I just had it dry cleaned." I reached up and took the cigarette from his mouth, tossing it on the ground and crushing it. "Smoking causes cancer," I reminded him with a wink. Turning, I walked toward the Mercedes, completely confident in my safety because sitting in the front seat were two the meanest looking men I'd ever seen watching out for me. Smiling as I neared him, he held out his hand and I clasped it firmly, shaking it.

"Good to see you, Peter," he said in a smooth velvet voice, the light above him catching the stud in his ear.

"You too, Julian," I said with a smile. "I really appreciate it this. More than I can say."

He shrugged, leaning against the side of his car. "Not a problem. I admit I was surprised to hear from Nick, but like I told him it was 'bout fucking time he called in the favor."

"It's been awhile," I agreed.

When Nick had been arrested for possession, it turned out there had been more to the story. Julian only cared about one person, his little brother Francis. Their father was never in the picture and their mother had died when Francis was only twelve, leaving Julian, who was only eighteen at the time, to raise him. He had never left his little brother's side.

While Nick was buying from Julian, he and Francis had become friends, and one night they were pulled over by the police. Francis began to panic because he'd already been arrested twice and if he was caught in possession of drugs it would be his third strike, and he'd be facing a long sentence. While the police were calling it in, Nick had Francis hand him the drugs and he proceeded to stuff them into his pockets, thinking the police would just ticket Francis and they would be on their way. He was surprised when the cops came back to the car with their guns drawn and asked them both to get out. Apparently when Francis's record came back, they decided to take a better look at the car. They searched the car and Francis, then finally Nick, finding the several grams he had in his jeans. They arrested him on the spot, and let Francis go after the search of him and car came up empty.

As soon as Julian heard what happened, he sent his lawyer to help Nick, who plea bargained the case to probation and rehabilitation because it was his first arrest. Julian had gone to see Nick shortly after he was released, telling him he owed him for saving his brother, and that he'd never forget what Nicolas had done. When I had called Nicolas the night before, he was surprised to hear from me, but even more surprised when I asked him to cash in that favor he was owed. Julian, being a man of his word, told Nicolas whatever I needed, I had. When Julian and I talked and I told him the situation, he laughed and said 'oh, that's all?' His reputation preceded him, he was feared and respected and no one in Seattle dared to challenge his authority. He was as powerful as me, only in an entirely different, and much more dangerous, way.

"Do you think he's going to listen or do my men get to have some fun with him later?" Julian asked, wiggling his eyebrows and motioning toward James, who was desperately trying not to stare at us.

"I think he's got the hint. Though…."

"What?"

"I really wanted to see him piss his pants," I shrugged, disappointed.

"I can arrange that," Julian offered with a laugh. I considered his offer before shaking my head.

"Nah, thanks though. You sure you're all set? Don't need me for anything else?"

"Nope, we're good. I've got two stationed here and one at your friend's building until I hear from you."

"Thanks again, I really appreciate it. You ever need any public relations consulting, you know where to come," I offered.

"When my squeaky clean image gets tarnished, you're the first person I'm going to call," he agreed. "Take care of yourself, friend." He held his hand out again, and I shook it.

"You too, Julian. Good to see you," I agreed.

"If I see anything, I'll let you know, but I don't suspect he will be a problem."

"He's scared shitless," I chuckled.

"With good reason," Julian smirked. "Take care, Peter."

"You too," I said as he got back into his car and with a wave, it pulled away, slowing down as it passed James before disappearing down the street.

Jasper…and Edward were safe.

My job was done.

"**~~**"

I stepped off the elevator and headed down the hall of the seventh floor of the hospital, stopping at the room number I had gotten from the desk. I knew the hospital like the back of my hand, little had changed since I had worked there, and it felt nice being back, the scent which most intolerable was slightly comforting to me.

The door was partially open and I slowly pushed it with the palm of my hand. Stepping inside, I saw the typical hospital room, bed, machines, bathroom, television hanging from the wall and an uncomfortable arm chair. Sitting in that chair was Jasper with his legs stretched out in front of him, his cowboy booted feet crossed, his hands clasped on his stomach, his head to the side with his hair hanging in his face, his full lips parted in his sleep. My heart leapt at the sight before I remembered he wasn't mine for it to leap at anymore.

Not even looking at his friend, I went to Jasper and kneeled in front of him. Placing a hand on his thigh, I stroked my thumb over the jeans.

"Babe?" I whispered. "It's me."

"Edward?" he mumbled sleepiy. I closed my eyes, forcing out the sharp pain that tightened impossibly around my heart. His eyes fluttered opened. "Oh my God, Peter," he whispered, leaning forward and automatically wrapping his arms around me and burying his face into my neck. "You're okay."

"I'm fine," I murmured, holding him close and inhaling his scent.

"I was so worried about you," he sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner," I apologized. As if suddenly he remembered what had happened, he pulled back and searched my eyes. I answered his unasked question. "It's over. You won't have to worry about James or anyone with him ever again."

He stared at me so deeply and intensely that I had to look away, but he put his fingers under my chin and forced me to look at him.

"Thank you," he murmured before brushing his lips over mine. I should have immediately pushed him away, but fearing it might be the last time I touched him, I found my hands clutching his shirt and my lips moving against his. I felt his fingers in my hair, his body moving closer to mine as he tilted his head.

"None of that here unless I'm included," a weak, raspy voice said to my right. Sighing, Jasper broke the kiss and glanced to the bed before looking back at me.

"Peter, I'd like you to meet Riley Biers," Jasper introduced. Licking the taste of Jasper off my lips, I took his hands from my hair and stood up. Turning to the boy in the bed, I gasped.

While he looked awful, his cuts and bruises on his face just starting to heal, his hair was dirty and he was dressed in a hospital down, it wasn't his condition from his injuries that took my breath away.

It was his long, dark hair.

It was his almost black eyes.

It was the flirty sparkle in them that I had been missing for so long. The sparkle I had never been able to save.

Regardless if Jasper had just told me his name was Riley, it was my Nicolas lying in that bed.

He ran his eyes over my face, down my torso, obviously pausing at my hips before continuing down my legs and then back up again. The weight of his stare was palpable, crawling over me inch by inch as he drank me in at his pleasure. When he was done, I felt like I had been stripped naked and fucked in his mind. Peeking his tongue out, he ran it over his chapped, bottom lip before smirking at me.

The spark that Nicolas had, the one that had set the air around us crackling with energy, was even brighter in Riley. It was frightening, how much he looked like Nicolas, how much he_ felt_ like Nicolas.

I was shaken when I felt exposed under his gaze, when I felt a stirring in my groin just from a look. Next to me, Jasper stood and slipped his hand into mine, and my aching heart racing at the touch.

"Annoying, isn't it?" he said, motioning to Riley. Even without saying the words, I knew exactly what he meant, and I knew Jasper had fallen under the trance more than once himself. Shaking my head, I silently berated myself for being so vulnerable.

"He's got nothing on you, babe," I replied to Jasper.

"Bullshit," the boy argued and Jasper raised a brow. "Alright, well, maybe not now, but any other day…"

"Riley, this is Peter, a friend of mine," Jasper said confidently.

"A friend with benefits apparently," Riley teased.

"Is there any other kind?" I suggested and he shook his head. "So you're the infamous Riley."

"And your next fuck," he quipped, tilting his head.

"Not quite," I chuckled.

"Your loss," he shrugged, trying not to look offended.

"Giving up so soon?" I challenged, and he spoke to Jasper while keeping his eyes on my boots.

"You neglected to mention he was so…manly," he scolded his friend.

"He's a cowboy. He can ride and everything," Jasper boasted.

Riley grinned, boyishly charming. "Well, hell, I can ride too."

"Horses, Riley, he can ride horses," Jasper corrected.

"Then we're perfect for each other, I'm hung like one," he bragged. His voice was still rough from the ventilator tube and he looked like hell, but I had to give him credit, he was more persistent than I had first suspected. I supposed it that was stubbornness that had kept him alive on the streets, that had kept him alive during the attack.

"So," Riley began, his voice growing quiet. "Is…um…"

I didn't want to answer their questions, I didn't want them to know what I had done, or who I had involved. They only needed to know that they were safe.

"Everything's taken care of," I replied before he could finish. "Actually, Jasper, I need to get going."

He nodded, then placed a hand on Riley's leg. "I'll be right back."

Tugging on my hand, he led me to the door and we stepped out into the hall, but left the door open.

"I don't know how to thank you."

"It's not necessary. I would do anything for you, you know that," I said, cupping his cheek.

"What happened?"

"You only need to know that James won't be an issue for you or Riley anymore." Biting his bottom lip he nodded. "Does Edward live in the city? Can you stay with him?" It physically hurt to say his name, almost as much as it did to hear Jasper say it with such reverence. He looked surprised, his eyes widened as soon as I had said the name. He didn't realize he had let the name slip.

He shook his head, finally answering, "No, he lives in Chicago."

"Then I want you to stay with me," I told him.

"No, I'm not leaving Riley."

"Babe, he's safe. You need sleep and food," I sighed.

"I'm not leaving him," he repeated firmly. I searched his eyes for any kind of give and found none. He was just as stubborn as his friend.

"Will you at least eat something?"

"I promise," he smiled, knowing he'd won.

"I'd stay, but I've got to go see a friend. Please get some food and rest."

He put his forehead to mine, then kissed me, briefly, just a hint of what I knew he had.

"I can hear ya smacking," Riley called out from the room.

"He's quite the character," I smiled weakly.

"You have no idea. But…" he glanced toward the dark room, "he's my friend."

I wanted to ask him if that was all I was too, but I was exhausted, and I wasn't sure my heart could take any more.

"I need to go," I said quietly, suddenly needed to be anywhere but in his warm embrace. Releasing me, he tried to smile but failed.

"I owe you."

"You owe me nothing, Jasper. You've given me so much already," I whispered. It was true, he had given me my heart back, and as much as it ached, it once again beat for another. "I'll call you tomorrow to check in."

Before he could say goodbye, I turned and left, my hand reaching up to swipe at the single tear on my cheek. Taking a deep breath, I headed for the elevators and pressed the button impatiently.

"Peter, what are you doing here?" an older man asked, stopping next to me. Glancing up, I saw it was Martin Shaw, one of the hospital's board of directors.

I shook his hand and greeted him with smile. "Martin, nice to see you. You're here late." It had to have been after midnight.

"The devil's work is never done," he laughed.

"True. How's the family?"

"Perfect, how about you, been down to see your mother recently?"

"A few weeks ago, had a great time," I replied.

"What are you doing here? Everything okay?"

"Yes, just visiting a friend transferred down here from ICU," I told him, pointing to a room a few doors down. "He's in room seven-ten."

"Seven-ten. He'll get nothing but the best care from us. Anything he wants," Martin assured me.

"That'd be great, Martin. Actually, I'd like to take you up on that offer. He's got a mutual friend of ours staying here with him. Won't leave his side, and it be nice if-"

Martin put his hands up. "Consider it done. I'll have a cot moved in for him. Just have him tell the nurses if he needs anything."

"Thanks, Martin, I appreciate it."

"Hey, after that mess you got us out of last year, it's the least I can do," he smiled.

"One more thing?"

"Certainly."

"I'll be taking care of the patient's bill, can you make sure that it gets sent to my office?"

"Of course, I'll make note of it at the desk. Give me a call sometime, we'll go out for drinks."

"Sounds great, take care, thanks again."

"No problem," he said as he shook my hand again and turned down the hall. The elevator doors opened and I stepped on.

When I reached my car, I got in and started it up, closing my eyes and resting my head against the seat. It had only been a little over twenty-four hours since Jasper had arrived at my door, looking more distraught than I'd ever seen anyone look.

Twenty four hours since he had told me that he couldn't be what I wanted.

Yet, I had sacrificed my heart and still saved his life.

Because that was what people did for the ones they loved, they sacrificed themselves.

And regardless of what I had seen in his eyes, heard in his voice, the love for his Edward…I still loved Jasper.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

I know some (a lot) of you are hoping for R/P HEA, but don't get excited, they had to meet in order to move the story where it needs to go, but it doesn't mean they are totally meant for each other. Peter _is _still in love with Jasper.

So…need to vent? Have theories? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (we even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter Touchstone_67


	31. Sin City

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- I was trying to be patient and wait out the FFnet alert/update fail but I'm getting PM's like mad about updating. This chapter isn't what you are all expecting, but please bear with me. By popular demand, this was written per request for Fuck Me Friday and was due to be posted in the middle of February, but due to their technical and schedule issues it never got posted. The next chapter is in progress and near completion-it's an important chapter and I want to get it right. Meanwhile, enjoy some fluff and smut before the angst returns.

While this is posted out of order (it wasn't supposed to be, but I kept delaying it because of the FMF schedule) it is _not _an outtake, this actually happened in the M&A universe.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story. I appreciate it very much!

"**~~**"

"Yes, can I have a few extra towels for penthouse five please?"

"Of course, Mr. Cullen, they will be there shortly."

"Why thank you so very much," I snickered as I hung up.

_Mr. Cullen. _

Wouldn't they be surprised if they found out that Mr. Cullen wasn't even in the state, much less the hotel room.

Sitting back on the plush couch, I downed the shot of whiskey I had poured and flipped through the channels on the television. People really took their six hundred and fucking fifty channels for granted. I mean, where else could I watch Lady Gaga's life story, learn about the problems of the real housewives of New York, and a few clicks later, be taught how to cook escargot.

Escargot. Like anyone ever fucking actually ate it. They just ordered it to look rich, not because they actually liked the shit. I mean, it was fucking snails…right? No one should eat snails. Except maybe otters. They were cute little fuckers.

I stared at the screen. Why didn't they have shows on useful shit? Like how to deep throat without gagging, or how to swallow a huge load of cum? Better yet, techniques on how to jack food from a grocery store. Stuff that people needed to know on a daily basis.

Not cooking fucking escargot that no one even liked.

I clicked through the channels at a blinding speed, pausing at a biography of Jim Morrison. Fuck, he was hot. He had the total package, the hair, the eyes, a fuck me body, and of course, the drugs. They showed him singing, throwing his head back, his sweaty hair hanging in ringlets around his face, the tendons in his throat straining as he belted out the song. Oh yeah, I'd would totally fucking light more than his fire. I wondered if he was bi. Wasn't everybody in the sixties bi? With the summer of love and all that other hippie shit? Tilting my head, I sighed, resisting the urge to stroke myself. I totally looked like Morrison. Spitting image actually. I definitely had his hair, though mine was slightly straighter. My eyes were nicer though. My lashes were so long and thick they looked like a girl's. Or so I'd been told.

There was a knock on the door and I bolted upright and tensed, my body instinctively reacting to the noise.

It was show time.

Grinning, I stood and loosened the tie on my robe before sauntering over to the door and sliding the deadbolt. Opening the door, I leaned on it just right, making sure I was showing just the right amount of skin.

A short, young Hispanic woman stared at me with wide eyes as she held three folded white towels. Her dark hair was pulled back and she had brown eyes like mine minus my fucking awesome lashes. But none of that mattered because in the tight uniform her tits looked plump and firm. Tiny waist too. Probably a nice Latino ass. She was cute enough, I would totally do her. I wouldn't go down on her of course, that would be gross, but I would let her ride me and watch her tits bounce. Been awhile since I had played with some nice tits.

"Why don't you put them over there on the table?" I suggested, opening the door further, but partially blocking her path with my body. Swallowing, she brushed past me and rushed to the table.

"Do you need…anything…else, sir?" she stuttered, trying desperately to keep her eyes on mine and not lower.

"Hmmm…" I thought for a moment, putting my hands on my hips, parting the sides of the robe. My cock hung heavy and flaccid between my legs, just waiting to be noticed. "Do you have any really good hair conditioner? See, I've got this thick, wavy hair and I forgot my conditioner at home."

"I can check for you, sir."

"I like expensive stuff," I reminded her, just in case she didn't know. I was in the penthouse suite after all.

"Of course," she agreed.

"That'd be wonderful, thank you," I smiled. Biting her lip, she walked back toward the door.

"I'll be right back," she murmured and scampered out, closing the door behind her.

Laughing, I plopped back onto the couch. I had barely learned about Jim's Ed Sullivan Show appearance when there was another knock. "Come in," I called out, flipping over on the couch so all my goods were on proper display. The same woman entered with four bottles of conditioner in her hands.

Keeping her eyes averted from me, she spoke. "These are from the salon downstairs. They recommended this one," she held up a red bottle, "for wavy hair." Then she held up a white one. "But this one for thick."

Fucking seriously? She had actually gone and searched for conditioner and then brought them back to me. Money really did talk, and apparently it also made people run down to salons. Or maybe it was seeing my cock that had made her do that. Yeah, that was probably it. My cock was definitely way better than money.

"Tough decision…oh, what the hell, I'll take both of those," I said, before standing and walking toward her, my robe flowing open and free behind me. Even under her olive skin I saw the red on her cheeks as she handed the two bottles to me.

"Anything else, sir?"

"No, thanks," I replied with a sigh. Clutching the remaining two bottles to her breasts, she practically ran out of the room. I put the conditioners on the table and went back to the couch. Lying down, I crossed my feet at my ankles, letting the robe fall around me. I fisted my cock loosely, stroking the limp length out of habit more than anything.

God, I was fucking bored.

Getting up, I wandered around the room, opening all the drawers, checking all the cabinets. I even went out onto the balcony and flashed the people in the building across the street, waiting until they waved to me before I went back inside. As soon as I closed the balcony door, I was standing next to the piano and I sighed. Even though it had been about four years, it seemed perfectly natural to sit up straight on the bench. I wiggled my fingers dramatically over the keys, cleared my throat and then played Chopsticks.

It was flawless, not one note was out of place even after all those years.

It had taken me two months as a kid to learn the basic notes. My teacher had gotten so frustrated with me. But once I had caught on, I _really_ caught on. It didn't take long after that before I was playing highly complicated pieces. No one knew I could play, I had never told anyone, not even Jasper. When I had gone to his place and seen the piano he had gotten for Beautiful, I had actually ached to play it. Sitting at a piano and playing seemed surreal, feeling the smooth keys under my fingers after so long. I ignored the twinge of pain in my heart when my fingers seamlessly went from Chopsticks to Beethoven's Fur Elise.

It had been my mother's favorite.

I could almost hear her behind me, scolding me when I missed a note or praising me when I completed the piece flawlessly. I'd lost track of how many times she'd told me I was brilliant, a prodigy, the most talented boy she'd ever seen.

So talented that when I came out, they kicked me out on my ass.

As the last notes faded away, I quickly stood up before I played any more.

It was a useless skill anyway, like knowing how to cook escargot. All those wasted hours of practice I'd had sitting in the dining room on our family piano just so my parents had someone that could perform at the annual church recitals and Christmas pageants. Knowing how to play the piano certainly didn't help me on the streets. Not like those other street performers that could carry their instruments and play on the sidewalks.

I needed a bigger distraction.

It was time for a bath.

Bringing my whiskey, I grabbed the bottles of conditioner and towels and headed for the suite's bathroom, setting them both on the ledge of the tub. After starting the hot water, I poured in bubble bath, grinning when the white suds began to gather on top of the water. Then I grabbed the bath pillow, shampoo, soap, and slid off the robe before stepping into the tub. Relaxing against the back, I put my drink on the ledge and turned on the radio. Closing my eyes, I sank further into the water, the bubbles tickling my chin.

"Riley, you don't have to put on the red light," I screeched along with the song. Sting would rather fuck me than Roxanne anyway. I mean, who wouldn't? Sting was totally bi too. No way straight guys did that yoga shit. "You don't have to sell your body to the night. Walking the streets for money, you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right."

Lifting my hands from the water, I beat my air drums, my foot tapping against the side of the tub. The water splashed around me, some slurping over the edge from my movement, but I kept going, playing my drums and singing as loud as could. When the song was over, I sat up and grabbed the shampoo, pouring a large glob into my palm before bringing it up to my nose and inhaling.

The shit smelled pretty good.

Shrugging, I rubbed it into my hair, lathering it up, making my hair stand on end and twisting it into a Mohawk before holding my breath and ducking under the water to rinse. Popping back up, I grabbed the conditioners and after not being able to decide which one to use, drizzled them both onto my hand and worked the mixture through my hair. Then it was only a matter of waiting three minutes for my 'scalp to be lubricated' and the guaranteed 'head full of thick, soft, shiny, manageable hair'. After all, manageable hair was important on the streets. No one wanted a hooker with unruly hair.

I could have really gone for something else besides my scalp to be lubricated though.

"Ding, ding, ding," I said to myself when the three minutes were up and I sank under the water, running my hands through my hair to rinse out the conditioner. Coming up, I slicked my hair back and settled against the pillow and closed my eyes. "This is the fucking life."

My body was really fucking relaxed, just like I had been fucked really hard by Jasper.

Or had fucked Beautiful. Not that I'd done him yet, but we both knew it was only a matter of time. He wanted me.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, let me know. If you really need me, just reach out and touch me…"

Rod Stewart.

Totally bi.

Maybe I should sing that to johns when then pull up to me.

I sang along with a few more songs, running more hot water in the tub when it started to get cold. When my stomach growled, my first instinct was to ignore it. It was what I usually did. But then I remembered I had an entire restaurant at my beck and call. Opening my eyes, I picked up the phone that sat next to the tub, and following Edward's instructions, ordered room service.

"Hello, yes, can I have two sausage and pepperoni pizzas, please. With extra sauce. Oh, and cheese, extra cheese."

"Of course, sir, can I get you anything else this evening?"

"Do you have escargot?"

"Yes, we do."

"I'll take an order of that."

Might as well take advantage of Beautiful's wallet.

"Two sausage pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese and extra sauce and an order of escargot," he confirmed. "Will that be all, sir?"

"Yes."

"It will be there in about thirty minutes, Mr. Cullen."

"Thank you."

Hanging up, I spent a few more minutes soaking, then climbed out, ignoring the towels I'd carried in, and pulled a one off the rack, surprised when it felt warm. Rubbing the terry cloth all over myself, I tied it around my hips and then went to the counter. Edward had left behind most of his things; there was shaving cream, after shave, cologne, some hair stuff, and a few facial creams. Shrugging, I put a little of each cream on, deciding that if one was good, three must be better. I wasn't really sure what any of them were for, but having good skin was important. Definitely much easier to get a john when your skin was glowing. Picking up an odd shaped can, I read the instructions for the 'hair mousse' and sprayed some of the foam into my hand before running it through my hair, being sure to 'distribute evenly' and 'work through the ends'. I searched through his little bag, but couldn't find any black eyeliner anywhere. What kind of fag was Beautiful if he didn't have any makeup at all? Moving on, I used some of his shaving cream and a razor and shaved for the first time in a few weeks. I wasn't a hairy guy. I could barely grow scruff much less a beard. Watching myself in the mirror, I dragged the blade along the curve of my jaw, throat, and chin until I was smooth. After rinsing, I slapped on some aftershave and then sniffed each cologne before deciding on Bvlgari's Man.

I was a man after all.

Mostly anyway.

I had just walked out of the bathroom when there was a knock at the door. Smiling, I adjusted my towel so the spilt fell in just the right place, and then shook my head, letting my damp hair fall around my face. I liked the gasp when I opened the door.

The room service boy was cute even though he was wearing one ugly ass uniform. Polyester was never a good look, for anyone. He had black rimmed glasses with large blue eyes behind them. His short dark hair was shiny and maintained. He was shorter than me, but heavier with broad shoulders. Probably some college kid paying his way through school, but he was in the wrong profession for quick money. Standing aside, I motioned for him to come in and I closed the door behind him.

"Two pizzas and an order of escargot, sir," he said, his eyes on my face. With one skilled flick of my wrist, the towel fell to the floor.

Jasper did say tip the boy.

"Wonderful," I smiled. "Can you put it over there by the table, please?" Nodding, he swallowed and then pushed the metal cart over to the table. Turning, he looked around nervously. "Oh, hold on one second," I said, walking toward the kitchen where the money was on the table. Grabbing a ten, I returned to find him shifting his weight back and forth. His eyes shot to the money in my hand and I swear he began salivating. "Is this what guests usually tip?" I waved the ten in front of him.

"Any amount is accepted, sir," he swallowed.

"Sir? I'm probably younger than you," I scoffed. Taking a few steps closer, I judged his flight or fright instinct, waiting for him to spring for the door. But he remained still, only his eyes darted around the room. He wanted the money. Standing right in front of him, I put a finger under his chin and forced his eyes up to mine.

"I…I'm…straight," he choked out.

Like_ that_ would stop me. Such an innocent boy.

"And I'm not," I countered. "From the job you have, the dark circles under your pretty eyes and the way you are drooling over a measly ten bucks, I'd be willing to bet you're a college student. Putting in late nights here at the hotel to help pay for school." Pausing, I looked into his eyes. "English major."

"American lit," he mumbled, and I smiled.

Damn, I was good.

Too good sometimes.

"Most college students are at the age where they like to experiment, expand their sexuality, discover new pleasures. I could help you discover some of those pleasures, like how good my dick tastes," I teased in a husky voice.

"I have…a girlfriend," he said, licking his lips.

"So did I…once."

There was curiousness there, I saw it deep inside him, but there was also a strong hesitation, one that was going to eventually win the battle that waged inside him. I would have won the war though. Leaning closer until my lips were almost against his, I felt his shallow breaths. I bet his cock was stirring in his pants too.

"Call me when you're ready to find out how good the dark side can feel, sugar," I murmured. While his attention was on my lips, I reached to his side and took his hand, stuffing the money into it before placing his palm against my soft cock. Gulping, he shook his head and went to step back, but stumbled. I steadied him, and he blushed. I seemed to have that affect on people.

It was a blessing and a curse.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," he muttered, quickly averting his eyes from my gaze and stepping to the side. "Enjoy your dinner."

"Oh, I will," I smirked as I went to the door and closed it behind him. I inhaled the sweet scent of virgin twink that still hung in the air.

Fuck, I was getting horny.

But I had priorities. Food first, getting off later. After grabbing a beer, I sat on the couch, learned about people on living on the Jersey shore, and ate until there were only a few slices of pizza left. I could almost hear Jasper telling me not to eat too fast as I inhaled the slices. Deciding the escargot sounded better than they looked, I left them untouched. Sitting back, I flipped through more channels.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Remembering the toys Jasper had left for me, I practically ran to the bedroom and went right for the dresser. Displayed on top were Jasper's favorites, a Fleshjack, beads, and purple dildo. I picked each up, running my fingers over the pliable dildo and the smooth plastic of the beads. Jasper had some quality toys. Did I want to fuck the ass of the Fleshjack, lube the beads and tease myself, or ride the dildo?

Decisions, decisions.

I put the dildo and beads down and took the Fleshjack and lube to the bed. I wasn't working, I felt like fucking, not being fucked. Lying down on the bed, I put the toy and lube aside and stroked myself, slowly and loosely, imagining Beautiful's sweet ass in front of me. Groaning, I pumped myself faster, my erection quickly growing. When I felt it throb, I grabbed the lube and drizzled some on myself before slipping the Fleshjack down my cock. It felt good, tight and warm and willing, as I began to move it over my dick at a steady pace.

Jasper's lips.

Beautiful's ass.

The rough hands on the john the night.

Each vision made me only want more. I wanted to be kissed, I wanted hands on me, I wanted a real ass to fuck. Turning my head to the side, I opened my eyes and saw one of Edward's dress shirts and ties hanging over a chair. Inspired, I pulled off the Fleshjack and went to the chair.

The white shirt felt like silk as I slipped it on and buttoned it about halfway up. Exploring the room, I found a pair of black pants. Looking through the drawers, I discovered socks and briefs. Edward had expensive taste, even his underwear was designer. I pulled on the Dolce and Gabbana drawstring briefs, stuffing my semi-erect cock into them, pleased when I saw they were too small. Not that I'd had any doubt my cock was bigger than Beautiful's. They hugged my ass perfectly. Grabbing the sweatshirt I had worn there, I reached in the pocket and felt the small piece of hard rock in there, soothed just by knowing it was nearby even if I didn't take use it right then. It'd been several hours since I'd a fix, but the alcohol still in my system had calmed any shakes I might have had. The rock wasn't enough to get me through the weekend, but I had promised Jasper I wouldn't leave.

I knew I could get through the weekend without it.

I left the crack in the pocket and gently laid the sweatshirt on the chair. It would be there when I got back. Then I brushed my teeth, found his shoes, which were a bit too big, and then remembering to grab some cash and the cardboard key thing, headed out to see what kind of boy toys the fancy hotel had to offer.

Walking down the thick carpet of the hallway, I stopped at the elevator, appreciatively eyeing my reflection in the doors. I cleaned up really fucking well, if I did say so myself. An older couple walked up behind me, and I smiled to myself. The doors opened and the attendant nodded to me as I stepped on.

"Well, color me happy, there's a sofa in here for two," I said, turning and sitting on the green velvet bench, my legs sprawled out in front of me. The wife grinned and stepped forward to join me, but her husband grabbed her wrist and yanked her back.

"We'll wait for the next one," he said to the attendant. The door closed and I started laughing. When the attendant looked at me, I shrugged. At the lobby, the doors opened and I got off.

The place was fucking huge, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, paintings framed in gold on the walls and a rug on the floor in a design that would make you dizzy if you looked at it too long. It even smelled like money. It was busy, guests checking in and out, workers in uniforms behind a counter and a few people sitting in the chairs. The revolving door called to me, trying to entice me outside where the walls would stop closing in on me, but instead, I sat in one of the leather chairs and watched the people come and go. Some were impatient, others were rude, some were downright assholes. They were all so uptight. They all needed a really good fuck. I got a few curious looks while I was there, but my favorite was from the boy that had delivered my food as he walked through the lobby. Waving to him, I licked my lips and winked. He started running for the door. I might have watched his sweet twink ass as he left. A gray haired man and his wife sat down on the loveseat across from me, taking cautionary glances at me as they waited.

Maybe I should have done up a few more buttons on the shirt.

Nah.

The man kept his arm protectively around his wife while watching me out of the corners of his eyes.

I'd been cooped up for hours; it was time to have some fun. Tilting my head, I cupped my crotch and groaned. "Fifty bucks, grandpa. For seventy-five the wife can watch."

You can take whore out of the streets but you can't take the streets out of the whore.

They both gasped and the wife's eyes bulged in shock. Immediately, they got up and walked away. I sighed, already a bit bored with the cat and mouse game. I needed bigger prey. I needed to sharpen my claws on something juicy, and preferably also tight and hot.

Then I heard it, faint piano music coming from a room across from me. My ears, and cock, perked. Standing, I undid one more button on the shirt and then headed for the dark room. The piano player was off the side on a tiny stage under a spotlight. The bar was smaller than I expected for such a big hotel, but more importantly, it was crowded.

The place was a buffet of full of lonely, bored, _rich_ businessmen.

Scanning the tables, I looked for the right person, someone that would be a challenge. I needed to brush up on my skills. Most the tables were full of two or three men, and the rare woman. My victim wasn't going to be sitting at a table though, he would be at the bar.

Alone.

Skimming the bar, I found him sitting near the end, his shoulders hunched over as he nursed his drink. It wasn't beer or wine, it was hard liquor.

Bingo.

He a few years older than me, dressed nicely in a dark blue shirt, loose tie and gray pants. He wasn't as hot as Beautiful or Jasper, but he was pretty enough to fuck. And from the look on his face, that was exactly what he needed. Unlike everyone else in that place that need a good fuck to relax, that guy needed to forget.

He was ripe for the taking.

Moving in for the kill, I walked over and stood next to him, leaning my elbow on the bar. He glanced up at me with deep brown eyes, but it was his lips that I noticed most. They were full and soft and would look even better wrapped around my cock. A clean shaven, square jaw, high cheekbones and straight nose helped perfect his metrosexual appearance. He nodded at me politely.

"Hey," I said, tilting my head, and letting my eyes say everything else when he looked up at me. It was all in the eyes. Especially bedroom eyes like mine with long eyelashes.

"Hey," he replied blankly, giving me a quick once over before returning his attention to his drink.

The art of small talk when hitting on someone was lost on me. I saw no point in it when you both knew you were going to fuck regardless. Why waste your time with clothes on? Then again, maybe that was just because in my line of work picking someone up often consisted of nothing more than 'how much?'

"Why don't you take me to your room," I purred, fluttering those fucking long lashes of mine.

"Excuse me?"

"I promise to fuck you so hard you won't remember who you're trying to drown in that drink," I said. He looked at me and raised his eyebrow.

"Is that so?" He took a small sip of his drink just to show me he wasn't that easy, but he was full of shit. I already had him hook, line, and sinker, but he wanted a little more effort before he officially succumbed to my charms. I glanced around us before leaning closer to him. He smelled really fucking good, clean and expensive.

"Look, I don't need to be wined and dined, hell, I'm not even asking for a drink. I'm kind of a sure thing. No romance, no love notes, or awkward morning afters. Whoever you are trying to forget isn't worth your time, but I am." When I finished, my voice was low and seductive, and my hand was on his knee.

"You don't know shit," he mumbled, looking away, but leaving my hand on his knee. He wasn't giving in as easily as I thought, but I had wanted a challenge, right?

"I know that while your mouth is saying no, your dick is saying yes."

Shaking his head disbelievingly, he slowly brought his eyes to mine. He was trying to read me, and he was good, but I was better.

"You're here on business, and from the weight of these pants you're wearing, you're from someplace cold. Your flight isn't until later this weekend and you're wondering if you can sit here all night and drink your sorrows away. You're not married, don't want to be, but someone's recently hurt you. Not rip your heart to shreds, but enough to make you rethink a few things." I paused, letting my assessment sink. "How'd I do?"

Resistance was futile.

Pursing his lips, he considered my offer again as he let his eyes roam over me longer, appreciating what he might have missed the first time. I saw it flash in his eyes seconds before he put his drink on the bar and nodded to the bartender.

Like I said, hook, line and sinker.

Sometimes I even amazed myself.

"Penthouse eight," was all he said to the bartender before standing and walking out, not even looking back to see if I was following him.

When I reached the elevators, he was holding the door for me. I stepped on and leaned against the bench next to him. I watched him in the reflection of the doors, and he tried to look away but it was too late. He was already caught in my web. The elevator opened at the penthouse floor and he stepped off, I followed behind him at a safe distance. I might have been in some fancy hotel, but my instincts still kicked in as he swiped his cardboard thing in the slot and then pushed his door open, stepping aside to let me in.

Entering, I noticed right away the design was similar to Edward's. I had barely relaxed when there were hands on my hips, swiftly pulling me back and slamming me against the door, closing it with my weight. His mouth was on mine, not even waiting for permission before plunging his tongue deep into me. Moving his hands from hips, he began untucking my shirt. My own hands were groping his ass, making sure to press him against my length, letting him sample the goods. Moaning into the kiss, he thrust his hips forward, his cock already hard and needy. It felt really fucking good against mine, and I had to resist the urge to wrap my legs around his waist and let him fuck me right there against the wall. Breaking the kiss, he stared at me with nothing but pure, unadulterated lust. Never taking his eyes from mine, he brought his hands to the middle of my shirt and pulled hard, popping buttons off and sending them flying in every direction.

Edward wasn't going to be happy about that. I would never find all those little buttons, much less sew the fuckers back on.

As one of his hands clawed down my chest, his other curved under my jaw, forcing my head back to expose my neck so he could suck and bite his away along it. I felt his teeth scrape along my skin, before sinking into it, leaving angry red marks behind.

This was fucking more like it.

Toys were for amateurs. Or those not nearly as skilled as me at getting what they really want.

My hands left his ass and moved to his belt, undoing it and his pants in record time. Palming his erection, I squeezed hard, enjoying his involuntary thrust into my grasp. Moving from his cock, my hands tugged at the knotted tie around his neck, loosening it enough to pull it over his head. Then I started on his shirt, working the buttons through the holes as fast as fucking possible. His mouth never left me. He nibbled along my skin until he reached my lips again. His fingers wrapped tightly around my throat as he pulled back and looked at me, hungry and feral.

I was hard as a fucking rock.

The corner of his lip curled up when I smirked at him and dragged my hands up the flat planes of his abs and chest, my nails leaving the same marks on him as he had on me.

"Bed," I demanded.

I was needy enough to fuck him right there, but I wasn't on the streets. I didn't have to fuck him against a wall or on the floor when there was the comfort of a bed nearby. He released me and turned, shedding his shirt along the way while I undid my pants. It was going to be so nice to fuck someone completely naked for once. Other than with Jasper, I rarely felt skin on skin.

By the time we reached his bedroom, he was yanking his briefs down over the delicious curve of his ass. I had a sudden urge to dip my tongue into the dimple resting just above it. He kicked off his underwear, his cock bouncing with his movement. It was long and thick, and I briefly wondered what it would feel like in me. The man obliviously took care of himself. Probably hit the gym a few times a week. He was trim, but had some muscle definition, including his abs and a lovely 'v' leading to his hips. He went to a suitcase and pulled out lube and condom, tossing both onto the bed. Then he stood and looked at me, slowly stroking himself. I slipped out of my underwear, watching his eyes fall from my face to my impressive cock.

I mean, it was why we were there, right?

"What do you want, sugar?" Another quick flash in his eyes told me it wasn't me that he really wanted, but I didn't really fucking care.

"I want you to fuck me…hard," he commanded.

My kinda guy.

"On the bed, all fours," I directed him. I might have been a low class whore, but I wasn't going to fuck someone without making sure they were ready for it.

Without hesitating, he climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees, his ass facing me. He looked at me over his shoulder, waiting. I moved to the edge of the bed to stand behind him, my hands immediately going to his ripe ass. It was muscular and firm and fit in my hands just right. Bringing my hand back, I smacked him with an open palm. The sound was wonderful, but the pink print of my hand on his skin afterward was even better. His body jolted forward and he released a guttural groan. It's always the quiet ones that were the most responsive. I rubbed his ass hard, pinching the flesh before spanking him again, same spot but harder.

"Fuck, yes," he said through gritted teeth. "More, fucking please, more…"

Who was I to refuse a man in need?

Switching sides, I brought my hand down across his other cheek, leaving behind a rosy mark. Each swing of my hand encouraged more keening sounds from him, low and deep. I alternated sides until his skin was heated and his cock was dripping onto the bedspread. His body willingly and easily took the abuse.

"Your ass is so tight, I can't wait to fuck it," I admitted lowly.

"Yeah, fuck me, come on," he coaxed.

It was tempting. Just shove my dick into his ass until he screamed for mercy, but I had more willpower than that. Usually. Sometimes.

Running a hand up his back, I curled it around his neck and forced his face down toward the bed. Falling to his elbows, he arched his back and rested his forehead onto his folded arms, presenting his raw ass to me.

It was mine for the taking.

Then it was me that groaned.

I spread his cheeks, licking my lips when I saw his tight, small hole. Bending over, I lapped the puckered skin. Rimming was a pleasure that I rarely got to indulge it, usually only with Jasper. I wasn't sure who moaned louder, me or him, but I did it again. My tongue circled his entrance, tasting the manly, musky flavor of him. His fucking entire body shuddered.

"Fuck, please, touch me," he begged. Curling my tongue, I dipped it into his hole, flicking it and out quickly. "Jesus."

It wasn't the first time someone had mistaken me for Jesus.

"Not quite," I chuckled against his flesh.

His cock hung untouched between his legs, full and throbbing, as I moved from his ass to his balls, taking one into my mouth. Wet sucking sounds filled the air along with his moans and pleas for more. Dropping one ball, I moved to the other, pulling it taut between my lips, letting my tongue swirl around the wrinkled skin before sucking really fucking hard.

"Holy fucking Christ," he cried out. "Please touch me, fucking touch me."

Releasing his balls, I stood up and weighed my options. I could spend hours letting him worship me, begging me to fuck him into oblivion or I could just…fuck him into oblivion. In the end, I was an instant gratification kinda guy.

"Move forward a bit," I said and he quickly obeyed, giving me enough room to move onto the bed behind him. My own cock was aching, swollen and purple with need. I ran a hand up and down the knots of his spine, using the motion to calm him.

"Please, need it so fucking bad," he growled.

"You're pretty fucking hot like this, all slutty and wanton and shit. Been awhile, huh?"

"Too fucking long," he sighed.

"Well, I'm going to take care of that," I promised as I grabbed the lube and opened it. I poured some on my fingers and his ass before tossing it aside. My finger slipped into his willing hole so fucking easily and my cock twitched with anticipation. Adding a second finger, I moved them in and out of him until his body was ready to accept something a lot bigger. His ass pushed against me, always wanting more. Just to tease him, I brushed his gland with the tip of my finger, and then smiled at the scream he released.

"Ready for me?"

"Fuck yes, just please fuck me," he begged. "Touch me, fuck me, gotta come so fucking bad."

"Mmm, all in good time, sugar," I vowed, tearing the condom open. Tugging it on, I slathered lube over my dick and then lined up the flared head with his entrance. He was still on his elbows, but one of his hands had finally gone to his cock to relieve some of the ache. Gripping his hip with one hand and my cock with the other, I guided myself into him. I certainly knew what it was like to get fucked, I wasn't going to rush entering him.

"Oh, Jesus," he hissed through clenched teeth as he sucked in air. The burn was intense, I knew it well, but it melded into a pleasurable sting a few minutes later. I let him adjust to the head of my cock before pushing steadily forward, inch by inch, until I was balls deep inside his tight ass. Stilling, I held one of his hips and ran my hand up his side to his shoulder where I dug my fingertips into him. Using him as leverage, I pulled out and slowly sank back into him.

"How's that feel, sugar? Feel good to have a cock in you again?"

"Fuck, yeah, so fucking good," he agreed. He was stroking himself at a slow place, not much faster than I was gliding in and out of him. The way he moaned and responded was unlike any I'd ever fucked before. He was shameless and open and really fucking greedy.

"Harder, fuck me harder," he whimpered meekly.

Didn't have to tell me twice.

With a few pumps of my hips, I was striking his prostate with the head of my cock. Our bodies rocked on the bed together in perfect synchronization, the headboard of the bed banging against the wall every time pounded into him.

"Oh God, oh God," he babbled.

I set a steady pace, sliding into him hard and fast. I watched his muscles moving under the smooth skin of his back, and my cock disappearing into his hole every thrust. Between our sounds and scents, sex was thick in the air. Snapping my hips toward him, I slammed into him repeatedly. It was nice and it was hot, but I wanted to feel him more. I wanted to touch him, feel his lips and his hands on me. Slipping from cock from him, I sat back on my calves and grasped at his hips.

"C'mere," I said, guiding him toward me. He sat up, moved closer and then slowly impaled himself on my cock until his ass was resting on my thighs. "Yeah, fucking much better."

My lips were instantly at his neck, sucking the warm skin. My mouth grazed along his shoulder, biting, and then soothing it with a lap of my tongue after. It was harder for me to fuck him in that position, so he began to grind onto my cock, moving in tight circles and filling himself deep. Letting him control the movements, I wrapped an arm around him and fisted his cock. I kept my hand still while his hands moved to me, one curled up around my neck while the other reached around to grasp at my side.

One slow stroke.

He groaned.

Another stroke.

He moaned.

"Is this what you want, slut? My dick in your ass and my hand on your cock," I murmured into his ear.

"Yeah, yeah, more."

"More what?" I licked along his ear. "Let me hear you beg."

"Please fuck me, touch me, make me come, anything, just please," he cried, his head dropping back to my shoulder while his body writhed on mine. It was pretty fucking hot.

"Mmm," I moaned before reaching around with my other hand and turned his head toward me. I captured his lips in a furious kiss, our mouths mashing together as he continued fucking himself on me. We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, my cock sheathed in his ass, my hand teasingly pumping his cock while we kissed frantically, devouring each other.

Life didn't get any fucking better than that.

Our sweat slicked bodies slid together in perfect harmony until neither of us could take it anymore. His cock throbbed in my embrace, precum sliding down it and over my hand from the edging.

"Do you want to come?" I asked into hot air between us, thrusting up into him as much as possible.

"Yeah, fucking need to come," he mumbled, barely moving his lips from mine. The second the words were out of his mouth, I increased my pace on his cock. I knew it wouldn't be long, a few strokes at most, before he came.

I was right.

Two pumps later he ripped his mouth from mine, panting breaths coming from him as his chest heaved for air. "Fuck, fuck, fucking coming," he cried out. His body tensed, stilling completely except for his cock, which pulsed in my hand and then exploded. His ass clenched around my dick and I just about fucking came undone.

I'd seen a lot of fucking cum in my profession, but he shot a huge load even by my standards. Creamy and warm, it landed in stripes on the dark blanket. Cum seeped slowly from his cock over my hand, his entire body quivering as he rode the orgasm.

"Feel good, sugar?"

"Fuck yeah," he sighed, his eyes closed as he rested his weight against me.

"My turn," I said, moving my hand from his hair to his hip. Releasing his cock, I flattened my other hand to his chest, holding his sated body to me tightly as I began to thrust up into him, using the spasms in his ass to milk my cock. Rocking my hips, I fucked him hard again, my cock on the verge of erupting each time I buried it in him. His arm wrapped around my neck, his hand tangled in my hair, clutching it as he turned and kissed me.

"You're so fucking hot," he whispered softly. "That's it, fuck me hard, baby, come on, fuck me hard and come for me. I want to see you come."

And I came.

I roared, biting down onto his shoulder to muffle the sound as my cock emptied inside him. The force of my climax touched every part of me, every muscle twitched and flexed, every nerve lit up with energy. I filled the condom with my cum, my cock jerking inside him until it was empty. Our kisses slowed, our bodies relaxed from the mutual highs. He remained on my lap, my arms around him tightly while my hands ran over his sweat glistened skin. He shivered when my fingers brushed over his softening sensitive cock.

"Wow," I breathed. "You're a pretty good fuck..." It was an honest compliment. He was good. I was better, but he was still good.

"Spencer," he chuckled, supplying his name for me. "And you are?"

"Riley," I replied.

"Nice to meet you, Riley," he smiled as he kissed me again, lazily and languidly. He eased his ass off my cock while I held the condom in place. Once he moved, I pulled off the condom and tied it. Spencer disappeared into the bathroom before returning with a damp towel. He handed it to me and I wiped my dick off before giving it back. He attempted to clean his cum off the blanket, but only managed to smear it in more.

"A little something for housekeeping tomorrow," he shrugged. "Want a drink or anything?"

"Sure," I nodded, sitting against the headboard of the bed while he was gone, my cock softening against my thigh. He returned with two beers and gave me one. I guzzled it, putting the empty bottle on the table. Watching me, he raised an eyebrow. "Thirsty."

"I guess so." Mirroring my position, he sat on the bed next to me and I admired his body in the dim light of the room. Perhaps I hadn't given him enough credit before. He was fucking delicious. Wide shoulders, sleek neck, defined chest, which looked better with my marks on it, strong arms and long legs. "You from around here?"

"No," I lied easily. "You?"

It was so fucking easy to pretend to be someone else.

"Nope. Chicago."

Odd.

"I'm here on business every few weeks with a colleague. We just wrapped up a big merger, but I was celebrating alone tonight."

Even odder.

"Your colleague, he's the one you were…"

"Yeah. He's into someone else thought. I was too late."

"Sorry." I really didn't know what else to say. I wasn't exactly a relationship expert. Hell, most of my relationships didn't last more than the twenty minutes it took to fuck me.

Except for Jasper.

"It's okay. I went about it all wrong anyway, fucked it up before it even had a chance," he shrugged casually but I could see the hurt in his eyes. "Do you need to be anywhere?"

"Nope, I'm here for the weekend, no plans. You?"

"I have to catch a flight Sunday afternoon but other than that, I've got nothing going on."

I reached out and ran a finger along his collarbone, his body trembled under my light touch. "Well then, Spencer, why don't you and I get cleaned up. See what kind of trouble we can get into in the shower. Then you can take me out to dinner downstairs, and then back here for round two, followed by rounds three and four."

His eyes lit up, and I actually felt an odd warmth spread through me. It was foreign, but I admit, the tingling was pleasant. "That sounds like a great plan, Riley," he agreed with a smile, getting off the bed. He headed for the bathroom again and I watched his ass, complete with pink handprints, as he walked.

It was going to be a fucking fantastic weekend.

"**~~**"  
Thanks for reading~

While the cat is away…Riley will play.

Next chapter will pick back up in current time. Thank you again for your patience, both with FFnet fail and my writing.

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	32. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- I know this isn't the pov you are all expecting, but there is a reason behind my madness. This part of the story_ has _to come from Jasper. Also, this chapter, like the trip to Texas, was exceptionally long (over 34k) so I have once again broken it up into two chapters in hopes that you guys don't get overwhelmed and miss out on some of the important details. Finally, the beginning is Jasper's version of events the night he went to see Peter. I know it's repetitive, but I think it's vital we know how Jasper felt then, I also think a recap of that time before we jump back into the story is helpful.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

He stirred in his sleep, mumbling something as his head turned to the side and faced me. Bruises still marred most of his face and the cuts were only beginning to heal, but he was breathing on his own and the doctors had told me his prognosis was good.

Riley was going to recover.

From his injuries anyway.

Sitting in his dark room, I stretched out my legs in front of me, crossing my feet and resting my head against the uncomfortable chair. It seemed they did everything they could to discourage people from staying in the rooms by making the chairs almost unbearable, but it was going to take a hell of a lot more than a sore back to get me to leave his side. Nurses had come and gone since I had returned, they would come in, read the monitors and write a few things down. What confused me more than anything was when they would wake him from a painless sleep to take his temperature or ask him how he felt, only then to tell him he needed rest. The letter I had left for Riley sat opened and crumpled on the table next to his bed. I could almost imagine how many times he had fisted it up into a little ball, refusing to follow the directions before giving in and unfolding it, trying to carefully work out the wrinkles only to crumple it up again. That was just how Riley worked. The key to my apartment was next to the letter, and I knew it had taken a lot for him to have agreed to do as I had asked. I also know he wouldn't have done it for anyone else. Just before my own eyes closed, I saw his flutter open and he struggled to focus on me.

"You here," he groaned more than asked.

Giving him a weak smile, I shrugged. "Of course."

"You're not dead, you stubborn ass," he said in a hoarse whisper, his eyes already closing before he finished speaking.

I watched him for a few minutes to make sure he wasn't going to wake up again before I finally let my own eyes shut. Folding my arms across my chest, I got as comfortable as possible, hoping I could turn off my mind in order to let my body rest, but with all that had happened, it was unlikely I would actually sleep.

Other than seeing Riley battered and beaten, going to Peter for help had been the hardest thing I'd ever done. It was harder than letting a stranger fuck me, it was harder than Ian raping me, it was harder than being torn away from my parents. It wasn't hard because I was putting aside what pride I had to ask someone for help, help with something I thought I could handle on my own. It was hard because Peter was such a good man, loving and honest, and I was going to not only ask him to help me, but save my lover.

It was hard because I was going to ask the man that loved me to save the man I loved.

When I arrived at his house, Peter was waiting for me on his porch. I knew Peter's body, everything from the way his toes curled when he climaxed to the mark on the inside of his thigh to the freckle on his right shoulder. There wasn't a part of him that I hadn't explored or tasted or felt, and when I got out of the cab, I could see the anxiousness in his body, the way he stood, the relief in his face when I went up the stairs and fell into his embrace. His arms wrapped around me tighter than ever before, his nose buried in my hair as he inhaled my scent deeply, reassuring himself I was okay, I was alive. Being held by him was exactly what I needed, his solid body enveloping mine, offering comfort for a problem he didn't even know yet. Before the questions were asked, before I had to answer them, I just wanted to feel his warmth, his security and…love. My arms were around his neck as I clung to him, my emotions releasing into tears, soaking the skin of his neck and the top of his shirt. In his arms, I shook and sobbed, and he just let me. He asked if I was hurt and then held me tighter when I said no. I don't know how long we were like that on his porch, the chilly night air surrounding us. Maybe it was wrong, maybe I was leading him down the wrong path by being in his arms, but right then there was nothing I needed or wanted more.

When I finally had the courage to lift my head, I looked at him and he pushed my hair off my face, peeling the strands off my damp cheeks until he could see my eyes, and everything in them. There was no doubt the guilt and fear and everything else I felt was there, for once I made no attempt to hide any of it. He assumed Riley had been hurt, and he was right, but that wasn't nearly all of it. Leading me inside, we went to his couch, the same couch we had made love on only a few days before, and sat down.

His hand rubbed my back in a soothing motion as he finally asked. "What happened?"

It was a question I had expected since I had gotten into the cab, but it was the question I had no idea how to answer. Leaning forward, I put my elbows on my knees and hung my head. "I fucked up. I really fucked up."

"How?"

I had no idea where to begin, what to say and what not to say. It was a situation I had never imagined, much less had any fucking clue about how to handle it. Sighing, I began. "I thought he'd be safe, but I was stupid, careless, and I left him alone."

His arm snaked around my shoulder and he pulled me to him, putting my head on his shoulder. "Is he…"

"No," I shook my head, "but it was too fucking close. Broken ribs, something to his spleen and lungs…another hooker found him in an alley, called the ambulance. He's in the hospital now."

"Have you seen him?"

"Yeah, he was sedated but he's more awake now."

"He's going to be okay?"

"I think so." So far, the questions were ones I knew the answers to, but I knew the more difficult ones were still to come.

"I'm sorry, babe," he murmured, kissing my head.

We were quiet, the room heavy and thick with a silence. He assumed it was one of guilt, and he was right, but not only for the reason he thought. As much as I tried to think of a way around it, there was no way to not tell him about Edward, and while I wanted to save Peter the pain I knew it was going to cause, I knew it wasn't fair to him. Hell, it wasn't fair I was there asking for his help to begin with, I couldn't lie about why I was really there, or who I was there for. Telling him was a risk, he could throw me out on my ass, telling me to fuck off and deal with my own problems, but I knew…I knew Peter. He would never do that.

Which was exactly why I felt guilty, why I felt like I was using him.

Just knowing he would help me regardless of what he was about to find out prompted a new round of tears to roll down my face. Lifting my head, I took a deep breath.

"There's more."

"Tell me."

It was easier to not see his face, to not witness the pain I knew would soon steal his features. Closing my eyes, I continued, "I left the hospital to go find James."

"Okay," he coaxed.

"I went to find James," I repeated, "to kill him."

Instantly he tensed, everything from the fingers on my arm to the small muscles of his jaw. "Damn it, Jasper," he growled at me. "What the hell were you thinking? Why the fuck didn't you call me?"

Before I could reply, he crushed me to him again, forcing my breath from me as he threaded his fingers through my hair, constantly convincing himself I was still there. Weak, I sank into him, my body limp and loose in his arms, my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I had to…"

"No, you didn't. You could have called me, babe. I could have helped. You could have gotten yourself killed," he scolded me, his voice shaking with worry. He paused and I felt him take a sharp breath as he braced himself for his next question. "Did you…"

"No. I wanted to. I had a knife, I had it all planned. I knew his men would get me the second I did it, but I didn't care. After what he did to Rile…I needed to, Peter, I _had_ to."

"But you didn't?"

"No," I assured him, knowing exactly what was coming next.

"Why not?"

Not only did I know Peter's body, I knew his mind. I knew he was going to ask it even before he did, and I knew the answer was going to hurt him much more than he was going to let on. The silence from before was back, filled with not only my guilt, but his fears and confusion as they raced through his mind. Opening my eyes, I reached and ran my fingers through his hair. It was longer than ever before, longer because, even though he preferred it short, I had asked him to grow it out for me.

And he was.

Because that was Peter- giving and loving and honest.

It was my turn to be honest with him.

The strands were like silk as they slipped through my fingers and I gave him a slight smile, knowing it might be the last one for awhile. Before it was all over, before he knew the truth, I touched him as his lover one final time. I traced his face, around the beautiful aqua-blue eyes full of love and respect for me, down the soft skin covering his high cheekbones, and finally lightly over his lips. Lips that had given me pleasure beyond my imagination, lips that had spoken words of encouragement and love, lips that trusted me to return the favor. He pursed them and kissed my finger, then closed his eyes and just let him touch him. For several minutes I ran my hands over his face, his ears, neck, collarbone and back to his forehead, trying to work out the creases that were already forming there.

Peter was my friend, and after realizing the pull I had for Edward, was love, I had realized that there were other facets of love. It didn't just have to only be for someone you wanted to spend your life with. In discovering my love for Edward, I had found my love for Riley, and my love for Peter.

Each one was unique in their own way.

He sighed in contentment, just basking in my reverent touch.

It was time.

"Peter, I wish…I wish I could give you what you want," I whispered.

He opened his eyes, a small smile on his lips as he wiped unshed tears from the corners of my eyes. "You do, babe. Every time we're together, you do."

And my heart broke.

Shaking my head, I tried to stop him before he finished but the words refused to come as quickly as I wanted them to. "No, not like that. I…I wish I could love you the same way you do me."

Immediately, his hand left me and fell to his lap.

"But…" I closed my eyes. "I can't."

"Why not?" His voice was barely audible even though he was only inches from me.

While his hand had left me, mine had never left him, and I cupped his cheek in my palm, letting the heat of his skin soak through mine before doing what I had come there to do. Closing my eyes, I saw Riley teasing me, I saw Peter and me making love, our bodies calling out for each other, and I saw Edward, a flash of his smile, the way he held my hand, his beautiful soul, the one that completed mine. These visions of Edward, of my love for him, were in my eyes when I slowly opened them, finally revealing to Peter what he needed to know.

He gazed at me, at first with some confusion, but then I watched it hit him, image by image, as he saw what was in my mind, my passion for him, my friendship with Riley, and my love for Edward. Tranquil eyes turned stormy, clouding with an emotion I'd never seen before, one far from anything I knew, and he swallowed as he moved back from me the slightest bit.

"There's someone else," he murmured.

I didn't answer. I didn't have to, he already knew. Maybe not the details, the who or why, but he knew that my heart, the one he coveted, wasn't his.

"I'm so sorry…" I apologized as he pushed me away and stood up, leaving the room without looking at me.

It was done.

My breaths were short and painful, the constriction in my chest increasing with each shallow intake. I had known it was going to hurt him but I had never intended on how much it was going to hurt me too. It only confirmed that I did, in some way, love him.

It just wasn't the way he wanted. If Edward had never walked into my life, there was no doubt Peter would be it, and I would never feel like I was settling for second best. He would give me anything I desired, and in return, he only asked for love. But Edward _had_ called the Service, he had walked into my life, and my heart, and there was no going back.

Getting up, I walked to Peter's office and saw him standing by the sliding glass door looking out into the night sky. Without thinking, I did what I would have any other time I found him hurting. I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my forehead to his shoulder. As tense as he had been when he pushed me away, he relaxed in my arms, his fingers lacing with mine on his abdomen. With each breath, his body settled against me more, taking what little comfort I could offer. His fingers moved with mine, stroking and clasping. Through his body I could almost feel his pain.

I just continued to hold him.

Peter was brilliant, the smartest man I'd ever met. He was also the most observant, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he figured out who the other man was, but I never it expected to be quite so soon.

"It's him, isn't it?"

He had seen that night at the banquet, even when there had been a room and hundreds of people separating Edward and me, Peter had still seen the bond between us. Later at his apartment, he had tried to tell himself it had been something else entirely.

But it hadn't.

I wouldn't deny it. Not anymore. Peter deserved more than that, he always had. I nodded against his back, tightening my arms further, moving closer until my body was flush with his.

"Why are you here?"

_Because you're the only one that can help me. I need you to save Edward. _

"It's not only Riley's life that's being threatened," I paused, knowing what I was about to say was going to hurt us both. "James…he knows about…him. He wants more money."

"Details," he demanded, his voice harsher than ever before. I lifted my head and looked out the window with him. In the dark sky, I saw our history, nights full of passion and heat, of tender touches and commanding thrusts, of friendship and trust. There was no way to make it hurt any less, so I began.

"I had just gotten home when Rick-"

"Home from where?"

His question caught me off guard. I hadn't planned on tell him I had been with Edward, that Edward had taken me away, that we had fallen impossibly deeper in love during our time at the beach.

"Peter, I don-"

He tore himself from my arms and moved to the chair behind his desk. The space between us made him more comfortable, so I stayed where I was, not even looking at him.

"I deserve to know."

Yes, he did.

"I didn't pay James last week and then I went away this weekend, but I put Riley in a hotel room to keep him safe. He didn't stay, he went out for a fix and James found him. When I got home, Ricky, a friend of Riley's, came to my place and told me that Riley was in the hospital. I went and stayed there until he woke up. Then I told him he was coming home with me when he got out, he finally agreed. Once I knew he was going to be safe, I went to see James…"

"To kill him," he finished for me, shaking his head. "What if something had happened to you, Jasper? What would Riley have done then? What would _I_ have fucking done then?"

"I left instructions with Riley," I mumbled.

"What kind of instructions?"

Every fiber in me told me to lie, to make it easier and just tell him the basics about taking his pills and getting a job at the Service, but something in me, something beyond my control, spoke and before could stop it, I was admitting what I felt for him.

"I told him if I was caught, to call you, that you would know what to do. I told him if I didn't come back, to call you and tell you that I was sorry I couldn't be what you needed, but that I…" I stopped, closing my eyes, my entire body trembled. I didn't hear him get up or walk over to me, but I felt him near me, within arm's reach as he waited for me to finish. Gathering strength from him, what little we were both sharing, I opened my eyes and gazed at him.

"That you what?"

"That I love you as a friend. That I hope you find the love you deserve," I breathed into the air between us. "And to thank you for giving me faith in myself and treating me with respect."

"Jasper, I treated you like you should have been treated your entire life. I didn't do anything special," he denied.

Even in his pain, he denied all that he had done for me. "Bullshit. You treated a whore like an equal. None of my other clients do that."

"Is…" he exhaled, "he a client?"

I felt like there was a knife in my hand, and not only had I stabbed him with it, but with the answer to that question, I was going to be twisting into his heart, slicing it into shreds.

"He used to be," I admitted. Tearing his eyes from mine, he turned away from me, unable to face me, or the pain I was causing him, any longer.

"I still don't know why you're here, Jasper. Is it for money?"

"I need help. I don't know what to do."

"About James?"

"Yeah."

"I don't get the problem. You're friend is alive and will live with you. James isn't an issue anymore," he reasoned.

"Actually, he's more of an issue now than ever," I replied quickly. His body stiffened, the frustration over everything growing with each word I said.

"Just say it."

Taking a step closer, I resisted the urge to touch him, even slightly, as I explained. "When I went to see James, I realized he thought Riley was dead, so I let him think that. Then he said he wanted more money and I told him to fuck off. Then he told me to ask my sugar daddy for it."

"He knows?" he asked incredulously.

"Rile had given Rick my address and had told him that if something ever happened to him, to come tell me. James followed Ricky, knowing that he would run to me if something happened with Riley. James saw Edward and me leaving my building. He wants five thousand a week until he says I can stop. He threatened to hurt and expose Edward if I don't pay. Now that he knows where I live, he'll find out Riley is alive and he won't be safe anymore," I finally finished, putting a hand on his arm. "I don't know what to do. I'm in over my head. I need your help. I don't have that kind of money."

Moving out of my gasp, he turned to face me, but I was unable to look him in the eye anymore, not after all that I had told him, all that I had done to him. Hanging my head, I avoided his eyes, but he put a finger under my chin, focing my eyes to his, and I didn't hide anything anymore. Not the fear, the desperation, the love…none of it. As much as it hurt us both, I couldn't ask him to help me without him knowing the truth. Panicking, my hands automatically sought him out, fisting his shirt at his waist as he continued to hold my gaze, his eyes never wavering from mine. My life, what little I had of one, was falling apart around me, just like it had on the sidewalk after seeing James, and I was there to ask Peter to rebuild it for me. To help me put my life back together so I could be with someone else. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips over mine and I tilted my head slightly, letting him direct everything. With each sweep of his lips, even brief, I began to calm, my shaking body gradually quieting. Breaking the kiss, he curled his hand around my neck and rested his forehead to mine.

"I love you, babe" he whispered.

And he did.

That was why it hurt so fucking much.

The tears escaped me again, not that I tried to stop them, and I bit my bottom lip as I nodded. My hands held his shirt, keeping him to me until I could loosen them, my breaths finally evening out. Peter released me and took a step back, immediately my eyes returned to his and I reached for him, letting my hand drop when I realized he didn't want me to. Suddenly there was shift in the air around him, something changed inside him and when he spoke again, his voice was terse, business like.

"I need you to go to the hospital and stay there until I come and get you. I want you seen by nurses, doctors, anyone that can vouch for you if need be." He went back to his desk and sat down.

"Are you going to pay him?"

"No, it won't do any good," he replied.

"Then wha-"

He stopped me with a hand. "You don't need to know. Just do what I say, okay?"

I nodded, my entire body already lighter with the relief of knowing he was going to help me. "I'm so sorry, Peter," I murmured. Clenching his eyes, he gathered his strength and I stood and watched him, the love and admiration I had for him growing by each passing breath.

"What does he look like?" he asked.

"Short, but muscular with long, blond hair that he wears back. He's usually on Fourth and Pine."

"When?"

"Usually by late afternoon."

"Let's go then."

"Where?"

"I'm bringing you back to the hospital."

"But…"

"What hospital?"

"Harborview."

I followed him as he grabbed a coat and keys, and then through the kitchen out into a garage. I shouldn't been surprised with I saw three cars, all of them nice in their own way, and he directed me to the black one in the middle. My leg wouldn't stop bouncing, my hands fisting nothing on my lap as my fear over what was really happening began to sink in. It wasn't just Riley and Edward in danger anymore, but by going to Peter and accepting his help, I had endangered him as well.

I was nothing but poison to those around me.

I was staring out the window when his hand covered mine, and without thinking, mine turned upward, entwining our fingers. Neither of spoke us the entire way to the hospital, the music from the radio played quietly while Peter easily navigated through the traffic. He pulled up to the main entrance, stopping, but not shutting the car off.

I couldn't move. "I'm scared," I admitted, staring at our clasped hands, wondering if it would be the last time I held his. He brought our hands up to his and he kissed our joined fingers.

"Don't be."

"What if something happens to you?"

"It won't," he tried to assure me. "I need to know where you live."

"Twenty-seven twenty-one First Avenue," I answered without hesitation. "Unit one- zero- zero- five."

"Go be with your friend. Stay here until I come to get you. Do not go home," he instructed. "Do you need money or anything?" The only money I had brought me had been enough to pay for the cab to his house. He pulled out his wallet and handed me a hundred dollar bill when I didn't reply. "You've got my number, call me if something happens, other than that, just wait. Promise me, Jasper? I don't want to worry about you."

Him worry about me? I almost laughed, but instead I vowed, "I promise I will stay here and call you if something happens."

"That's my boy," he smiled weakly.

The weight of his words sat between us, each of us knowing I was no longer his boy.

I was someone else's.

"Go," he snapped. I cupped his cheek and looked at him one more time, hoping like hell it wasn't the last.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Please be careful."

"I always am," he replied quickly. Leaning forward, I kissed him softly before opening the door and getting out. He pulled away and I watched him worriedly, resisting the urge to reach for my cell phone and call him and tell him not to go. The car was swallowed up in traffic and I still hadn't moved.

I just…couldn't.

I couldn't let him do it, I couldn't let him go. I couldn't risk not having him in my life anymore.

The sounds of city faded away, I heard nothing but his laugh in my ear, the timbre of his voice as he whispered how much he desired me, how much he loved me. With Peter I had discovered what it was like to be respected, to be trusted and the same requested in return.

A friend that was going to do what I had asked regardless of me trying to stop him. Calling him begging and pleading him to come back to me would be useless, he wouldn't listen. He was going to do exactly as I had asked him to, and there was nothing I could do stop him. Meanwhile, in his room Riley wondered if I was in jail or worse. Overcome with the need to see Riley, I looked after Peter's car one last time before finally turning and going inside. Just as I went to walk through the doors, my phone vibrated and I pulled it out. Taking a deep breath, I answered.

"Hey, baby," I breathed in relief.

"Hey, love. I landed a few minutes ago, I'm getting my luggage now. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," I completely lied, hoping he couldn't tell.

"You don't sound okay," he sighed.

"I'm just tired, baby. I'm okay, really," I assured him. Turning, I walked down the sidewalk away from the entrance. I didn't want anyone to see the tears that had begun to travel down my cheeks. "I miss you so much."

"I know, I miss you too. It's only for a few days, I'll be back on Friday."

"Promise?"

"Yes. Trust me, I'd rather be there with you. How's Riley doing?" He sounded out of breath, like he was rushing somewhere.

"He's woken up a few times. I think he's better," I whispered.

"Good, let me know if his condition changes."

"I will," I promised, wiping my eyes and then clenching them tight. "Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," I murmured.

"I love you too. Hang in there, Jasper, I'll be back soon."

"Okay, bye, Edward."

"Bye, love. See you soon."

I waited until the line was dead before I hit end and put my phone away. The crisp night air chilled my heated skin and I bent over, my hands on my knees as I took in deep breaths. People walked by me, going on with their lives while I felt mine slipping away. When I had calmed enough, I straightened and headed back toward the entrance.

Riley's room was dark when I returned, he was sleeping and I moved the chair closer to his bed so I could reach his hand. Covering it with mine, I watched him sleep, thankful that I could.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up to daylight filtering in through the blinds and Riley's complaining.

"Apple juice? That's it? No bacon or pancakes? Not even a muffin? I'll even take bran," he growled, his voice still raspy but sounding stronger.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Biers, but you're still on a clear fluids only restriction," a worker replied. Riley released a heavy sigh as the woman left the room.

"I know you're awake," he said and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me. "I've slept with you enough to know that you do this thing right before you wake up."

"Thing?" I yawned.

"Yeah, you're lips move, like you're talking but nothing usually comes out." He drank in his juice in one gulp and then put the small glass on the table. "So…"

"Rile-" I tried to stop him before he could ask.

"Damn it, Jasper, you can't fucking march out of here leaving me a suicide note and then fucking show back up and not expect me to ask questions," he snapped at me, forcefully pushing the table away from his bed. If he had been able to, he probably would have hit me, but I was too far away and he didn't have the strength. "Tell me what the fuck happened."

Sighing, I glanced at the door to make sure it was closed all the way before I looked back at Riley. Even beaten in a hospital bed, he was still demanding. Just like Peter, Riley deserved the truth.

"I went to see James, but before I could do anything, he threatened Edward."

"What? Edward was with you? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"No, he's in Chicago, but Ricky…" Sighing, I rubbed my hands over my face. "After Edward and I got back from the beach, Ricky came over and told me about you. Apparently James had followed him, he saw Edward and I leave my apartment building."

"Oh fuck," he groaned when he realized what had happened. "Fuck, Jas, I'm sorry. I never thought when I told Ricky where you lived that James would find out."

"I know, and I'm glad you told him or else I might not have known what happened to you. At least not as soon as I did. Anyway, James threatened Edward, said he wanted five thousand a week. It totally caught me off guard and I panicked."

"Jesus. Beautiful's worth way more than five k a week," he chuckled. I couldn't help but give him a weak smile. "So what did Edward say? He staying in Chicago for awhile?"

"I didn't tell him," I confessed quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't need to know. There's no sense hurting him unnecessarily. If the problem is resolved, it won't matter," I reasoned.

"You're just going to pay the money?"

"I can't afford it. Besides, James thinks you're dead, if he watches my apartment and sees you…"

"James thinks I'm dead, he knows where you live and that you and Edward are…whatever you are, and he wants five thousand a week?"

"Yep."

"This is all pretty fucked up. What are we going to do?"

"_We_ aren't going to do anything. _You_ are going to get better and come live with me and get clean, just like you promised." He rolled his eyes, but I spoke before he could. "I called Peter."

"Peter? Cowboy from Texas? The one that is in love with you?" he asked knowingly with a raised brow.

Looking away, I nodded. "He's known about James for a while now, he's offered help all along."

"And you refused but now that Edward is involved, you need help," he assumed. Biting my lip, I stared at the end of his bed, focusing on the white blanket. "Is he going to help?"

"Yes," I answered, the pain in my chest that had numbed throughout the night returned and I dragged my eyes up to his.

"Wow," he said, shaking his head. "You have to be the luckiest whore ever."

"I know," I agreed. "I'm scared. I'm just supposed to wait here until I hear from him."

The room was silent as Riley stared at me and I fidgeted under his attention. It wasn't that he was staring at me, it was what was in his eyes, the questions he wanted to ask, but hadn't. He wanted to know how much Peter knew, had I told him about Edward, and what had I done to get Peter to help me. In our world, there was no such thing as favors, you did something for someone only if you were going to get something out of it too, not just because you wanted to help. What Peter was doing for me, and for two people he didn't even know, was beyond Riley's comprehension. However, it wasn't above mine, I'd already done it for Riley.

When I finally dared to bring my eyes back to Riley's, I found his closed, his head lolled to the side. Standing, I moved to him and reached out, pushing the greasy locks of hair off his forehead. He flinched when my finger moved over a healing cut, but he remained asleep. Bending over, I kissed his lips and then moved mine to his ear.

"Love you," I whispered before straightening and leaving his room. I was heading for the coffee vending machine when my phone beeped in my pocket. Anxious, I pulled it out and saw a text message from Tanya.

_Someone is enjoying your company. Tuesday-Saturday nights reserved by Peter Carlson. Renaissance Hotel, 5:00pm _

Confused, I replied. _All night every night?_

_Yes. He paid for every night of the week, I've cleared your schedule of any other clients. I've given you Sunday off. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it._

_Okay, thanks._

Peter paid for the entire week so I could spend it with Riley and not have to leave him for work. With the phone in my hand the urge to call Peter was strong so I shoved it in my pocket and walked down a short, dark hallway. When I was sure I was alone, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. Guilt wracked my body in stifled dry sobs and gasping breaths, my heart clenched and twisted and the pit of my stomach churned as waves of nausea hit me. I had taken a good man, a beautiful, generous man, and fucked him up. Then I turned around and asked him to help me. Fear compounded the guilt already weighing on me. James was not stupid, he knew the streets, I hadn't armed Peter with enough information to help him. I wasn't sure I could live with myself if something happened to him because of me. Forgetting the coffee, I trudged back to Riley's room, my feet heavy and clumsy before I fell into the chair.

Riley woke up just in time for two detectives to come in and question him about the attack. They asked him questions about the assailants, what they looked like, what they were wearing. Riley, of course, lied through his teeth, claiming he remembered nothing other than there was more than one and it was after midnight. I wasn't surprised how easily Riley lied, how he had no problem weaving half truths with complete lies. It was something we had both learned, lying to police. It wasn't like they looked kindly on our living. They were paid to protect and serve the good citizens of Seattle from people like Riley and me, the street hookers and addicts. They didn't look like they completely believed him, but they took our information, Riley giving him my address as his own. When they left, Riley turned to me and said the one in the blue suit had been hot in a 'fuck me, daddy' kind of way.

Later that day, Riley hissed when a pain radiated through him. "Fuck, that hurts."

"Have they said when you can leave?"

"No, but I hope it's soon." I went to the chair and sat down, putting my feet up on the bottom rails of his bed and leaning back. "You're worried." Keeping my eyes on a spot on my jeans, I nodded. "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"What if he's not?" I murmured. "What if something happens to him because of me?"

"Tell me about him," Riley requested. I knew he was trying to keep me occupied, but I let him do it even though I knew it wasn't going to help.

"He's so fucking sexy. Black hair and these blue-green eyes and his lips. Rile, his lips are amazing," I found myself smiling as I brought my eyes to him and saw a glint in his own. "Don't get any ideas."

Staving off a painful laugh, he smiled instead. "Nice cock?"

"Riley," I shook my head."Is that all you care about?"

"No." I waited for him. "A hot ass is important too."

"Well, he's got both."

"Fucking lucky bastard. I hate you," he sighed, his eyes fluttering closed.

"I love you," I muttered.

"You too," he barely said before sleep took him from me.

I spent the remainder of the day watching over him as he slept off and on, waking up for his Jell-O lunch that he bitched about and demanded red instead of green. A few times I left the room to pace the halls, telling myself I needed to stretch my legs but it was really to work off the nervous energy that surged through me. Each time I returned, I would sit in the chair, my eyes immediately going to the boy in the bed.

I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him look worse, even with the cuts and bruises beginning to heal, but at the same time, he'd never looked better. The dark circles under his eyes were fading and there was a color to his cheeks that I had only seen on him after we fucked. I wasn't sure anyone could ever understand what Riley and I were to each other, labeling us as friends or lovers didn't seem to work. All I knew was I didn't want to be without him. I knew he was worth risking my life for, but would Peter feel the same way.

It was early evening when I had ventured out to the vending machines to get some coffee. Sliding a dollar into the slot, I waited for the cup to fill before picking it up and stirring it. Heading back to Riley's room, I heard him just as I pushed the door open.

"I can piss on my own, ya know," he growled from behind a closed door. "I know you just want to touch my dick."

The bathroom door opened and the nurse stepped out, holding it for Riley as he very slowly shuffled his way through it toward his bed. He was pushing a pole on wheels attached to his arm by a hose. He looked over at me when he reached his bed.

"You better not be laughing at me," he warned. The nurse helped him into bed, his movements were calculated and slow as he sat on the edge of the bed and let her lift his legs onto it before he moved back. I saw the pain on his face, the wincing as his entire body screamed in protest. Once he was lying back, the nurse adjusted a few machines and then disappeared back into the bathroom. A few seconds later the toilet flushed. When she returned, she wrote a few things down on the papers on the end of his bed.

"Same time tomorrow, sweetheart?" Riley teased, flicking his tongue between his lips. The nurse finished and rushed by me with a definite flush to her cheeks. "I still got it."

"You're awful."

"She reminds of the maid at the Renaissance."

"Excuse me?"

"I might have ordered a few extra towels," he smiled, "and some conditioner."

"Riley?"

"What? I wanted to take a bubble bath and conditioning your hair is important. Did you know they have imported shit there?"

"Anything else?"

"Umm yeah, tell Beautiful I ordered room service a few times. I don't recommend the escargot," he almost shuddered. "Slippery looking suckers."

"You ordered escargot?"

"Never mind. The pizza was good though, and the room service boy. Mmm, he was a fine piece of virgin ass."

Shaking my head, I sat down in the chair. "You didn't."

"Not because he didn't want to, I just wasn't in the mood to teach a newbie."

"Since when are you ever not in the mood?"

"I just wanted to have some fun."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, but not with him."

My eyes shot to his. "With who then?"

"Some lonely businessman pining over a colleague in the bar downstairs. Fucked his tight ass all night and into the next day. His voice was hoarse from screaming my name so much. We spent most of Saturday testing out every surface in his hotel room, stopping only for food and water." He grew quiet, his eyes dropping to his legs before he spoke again. "I don't know how you do it, Jas."

"Do what?"

"Stay in one place. I felt like the walls were closing in on me, I had to get outta there."

"You had to get high," I corrected him. "And look what it did to you."

"I know," he whispered with guilt. "I'm sorry I fucked up so bad."

"Did you like the bubble bath?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, felt really good. Beautiful has got all this shit for shaving and moisturizing and cologne that smelled really good."

Rolling my eyes, I smiled at him, happy to see a slight light back into his sad, brown eyes.

As day merged into night, Edward called and I whispered to him while Riley slept. Edward sounded exhausted and told me I did as well. He told me a story, I didn't even remember what it was about, but just hearing his velvet voice kept me calm. Somehow even thousands of miles away, he knew exactly what I needed. After a few promises to return soon, he said he loved me and I murmured the same before waiting for him to hang up. I held my phone in my hand to keep that connection to Edward close, I leaned back and watched Riley's chest rise and fall with each vital breath.

I dozed off and on, waking when I heard Riley begging for something other than Jell-O and the nurse promising that the next day he would get solid food. Riley pleaded with me to get him some food from the cafeteria, but I refused. The night nurse helped him into the bathroom, and I watched as he gingerly walked by me, one hand on the pole, the other placed flat over the stitches in his side, grimacing with each small step he took. His gown was untied and open, revealing bruises scattered along his back. Even the smooth skin of his ass was discolored and covered in scrapes. There was no doubt he'd been raped, probably repeatedly.

"Stop looking at my ass," he called out over his shoulder as he reached the door. While they were in the bathroom, I pulled out my phone and sent a text.

_Please be careful_

Peter was probably going to be pissed, but I didn't care. I wanted him to know I was thinking about him, that he wasn't alone.

Riley returned, moving even slower than before, and the nurse helped him into bed, again recording numbers and adjusting machines before she went into the bathroom and then after one last check on Riley, left us alone. She was barely out the door and Riley was already asleep. Turning on the television, I flipped through a few channels before finally settling on some movie. Then I angled the chair slightly and stretched my legs out, crossing my feet and folding my hands on stomach. The hero hadn't even saved the day before my eyes were closing.

There was a warmth on my thigh that spread up my leg and throughout my body. It moved slightly, but remained strong, coaxing me from the hazy sleep I was in. Slowly my eyes fluttered opened, and tired, aqua ones greeted me.

He was there.

He was safe.

"Oh my God, Peter," I whispered, leaning forward and wrapping my arms around him. I buried my face into his neck, inhaling the scent of the streets that wafted around him. Thankful to be able to touch him again, I sighed into his neck and felt him shiver. "You're okay."

"I'm fine," he murmured.

"I was so worried about you."

"I know, I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner," he apologized and my sleepy fog began to clear.

_James._

I leaned back and looked at him.

"It's over. You won't have to worry about James or anyone with him ever again."

Overwhelmed, I couldn't do anything but stare at him. There was relief and pain in us both, and unable to take it, he looked away from me. Refusing to let him go, I put my fingers under his unshaven jaw and forced him back to me.

"Thank you," I whispered before breaching the few inches that separated us and pressing my lips to his. I felt his slight hesitation, but it faded to desperation as his hands moved to my shirt, fisting it as I continued to kiss him. Releasing his chin, I carded my fingers through his hair, tilting my head as I moved even closer to him.

I couldn't give him what he wanted. I couldn't give him my heart, but I could give him my body.

Just as I felt him begin to respond, Riley spoke. "None of that here unless I'm included."

Sighing, I pulled away from Peter and glanced at Riley. "Peter, I'd like you to meet Riley Biers," I introduced. Peter's eyes didn't leave mine as he licked his lips and took my hands from his hair and stood. When he turned to greet Riley, his body stiffened.

Moving my gaze to Riley, I saw why.

There wasn't a creature in existence that he couldn't seduce. Even beaten in a hospital bed, his eyes hungrily roamed Peter's body appreciatively. Inch by inch, Riley feasted on Peter as he stripped him in his mind, then promptly bent him over the bed and fucked him. But for Peter it was more than being caught under Riley's attentions, there was a sad energy around him as he gazed at Riley's bruised body. Coming to his rescue, I stood up and slipped my hand into his.

"Annoying, isn't it?" I knew the feeling well, I had been caught in Riley's web more than a few times, although I usually went very willingly.

"He's got nothing on you, babe," Peter replied honestly and I felt myself leaning into him.

"Bullshit," Riley challenged and I raised an eyebrow."Alright, well, maybe not now, but any other day…"

"Riley, this is Peter, a friend of mine."

"A friend with benefits apparently," Riley teased us.

"Is there any other kind?" Peter quipped before shaking his head. "So you're the infamous Riley."

"And your next fuck," he countered quickly.

"Not quite," Peter chuckled.

"Your loss," Riley shrugged, letting Peter win round one of their match.

"Giving up so soon?"

Riley quickly gathered his reserves, letting his eyes drop to the cowboy boots on Peter's feet, the leather clad toes showing from under the hem of his jeans. "You neglected to mention he was so…manly," Riley scolded me.

"He's a cowboy. He can ride and everything."

Riley grinned, "Well, hell, I can ride too."

"Horses, Riley, he can ride horses," I corrected.

"Then we're perfect for each other, I'm hung like one," he bragged, but just like Riley, quickly shifted gears. "So, is…um…"

"Everything's taken care of," Peter replied before Riley could finish. "Actually, Jasper, I need to get going."

"I'll be right back," I told Riley before letting Peter lead me from the room and into the hallway. "I don't know how to thank you."

"It's not necessary. I would do anything for you, you know that," he said, cupping my cheek.

"What happened?"

"You only need to know that James won't be an issue for you or Riley anymore." He paused, his hand still on my cheek as he bit his bottom lip and considered his next words. "Does Edward live in the city? Can you stay with him?"

Before I had realized that he had said Edward's name and could wonder how he knew it, I saw the flash of pain in his eyes, a dark anguish as the name regretfully fell from his lips.

I shook my head, finally answering, "No, he lives in Chicago."

"Then I want you to stay with me," he requested, his thumb stroking my cheek.

"No, I'm not leaving Riley," I refused.

"Babe, he's safe. You need sleep and food."

"I'm not leaving him," I repeated firmly. His eyes searched mine and he found the stubbornness he already knew was there.

"Will you at least eat something?"

"I promise."

"I'd stay, but I've got to go see a friend. Please get some food and rest," he whispered. Putting his forehead to mine, he kissed me softly. My arms wound around his neck, pulling him close enough to feel his body heat through our clothes.

"I can hear ya smacking," Riley called out from the room.

"He's quite the character," Peter smiled weakly.

"You have no idea. But…he's my friend."

The word carried so much more weight than they ever had before.

_Friend._

Was that all Peter was? Had he gone from a client to lover to friend even though he wanted to much more for us?

"I need to go," he said quietly.

I dropped my arms and tried to smile, but I couldn't manage it. "I owe you."

"You owe me nothing, Jasper. You've given me so much already," he whispered. "I'll call you tomorrow to check in."

Before I could say anything more, he left, his long strides carrying him confidently down the hall toward the elevators. Not moving, I watched him, even while he waited for the elevator and someone approached him. They spoke briefly, Peter smiling at the man even though I knew it was difficult for him. When the man turned and left, Peter sighed, the impatiently pressed the button again. The doors slid opened, he stepped on and they closed.

Never once did he look back at me.

"Everything okay?" Riley asked, eyeing me when I walked back into the room. Not looking at him, I slowly shook my head. "C'mere." He held out his good hand to me and I numbly made my way to it, barely grasping it before I felt him tugging me down onto him. Awkwardly, I bent over the bed, my head on Riley's shoulder as he stroked my hair and whispered in my ear. "He knows, doesn't he?" I nodded against him and he sighed. "Aw fuck, sorry, angel."

"He hates me," I mumbled into his neck.

"No, he doesn't, he's just hurting right now. He'll be back."

"How do you know?" I asked, closing my eyes under his gentle touch.

"Because he's a good man. He wouldn't have done what he did if he wasn't. He'll be back." Riley sounded a lot more confident than I felt, but he was right, Peter was a good man. "Think they'd mind if you got into bed with me?"

"I don't care if they do."

Lifting my head off his shoulder, I stood up and took my jacket off, tossing it on the chair. After tugging off my boots, I waited while Riley slowly moved to the side a little, making enough room for me to lie down next to him. Careful not to touch the tube coming from his right arm, I curled up next to him and put my head back on his shoulder and laid an arm across his chest. Wrapping his arm around me, his hand slid under my shirt and his fingers stroked my skin.

"This okay?" I asked, wanting to make sure I wasn't hurting him.

"Perfect," he sighed. Within seconds, he was sound asleep and I was left watching the pulse in his neck until my own eyes finally closed.

_His arms loosened their embrace on me as he pulled away, his eyes searching mine. "You what?"_

"_I'm sorry, I had to, I didn't know what else to do," I apologized, desperately trying to pull him closer, fulfilling the need to feel his naked body pressed against mine as it had been only seconds before I had told him. "But it's over now."_

"_You're damn right it's over," he growled, rolling onto his side and climbing out of bed. Before I could stop him, he was hastily tugging on his briefs, refusing to look at me. "I fucking loved you and you went to someone else. You went to him." Reaching for his pants and shoving his legs in them, he snagged his shirt and slipped his arms through. He left it unbuttoned while he grabbed his shoes and sat on the edge of the bed to put them on._

"_Baby," I whispered, reaching for him. _

"_Don't call me that," he spat, running a hand through his hair. "That's what you call him." _

"_You don't understand. Let me explain, Edward," I pleaded, pushing the sheet aside to move toward him. If I could just touch him again, if he would just let me explain. _

"_There's no need." He stood, and with one last glare at me, headed for the door. _

"_Don't go, please…" I cried out as the door clicked behind him. "Edward!" _

"Jas," Riley whispered, shaking me. "You okay?"

I didn't answer, but I felt him wince when I held him tighter, his heavy breaths lulling me back to sleep. It hadn't been the nightmare I was used to. It had been worse.

Edward had left me.

"**~~**"

"But they said I could have solid foods today?" his voice reverberated through his body, echoing in my ear that was on his shoulder. During the night I had moved even closer, my nose was pressed against the crook of his neck, arm rest over his middle while my legs ran down the length of his.

"Dr. Matthews will be in shortly, once he clears you for solids, you can have something for lunch. I'm going to leave the menu here. Now I need him to move so I can check you over," a quiet female voice answered.

"No, he's asleep. Do it with him here or wait," Riley whispered demandingly. The tones were hushed, but enough to wake me.

"We've brought a cot in for him, he can sleep in that." There was silence and I knew Riley was challenging her and she was debating on taking his challenge. "I'll be back in awhile," she finally sighed and I heard faint footsteps. I knew I should have gotten up and moved to the chair, but I couldn't even raise my head much less leave his warmth. Riley shifted and then his arm was around me even tighter, the fingers still dancing along my lower back.

"Go back to sleep," he murmured before kissing the top of my head.

I did as he said.

The next voice I heard was deep, professional but friendly. "Good morning, Mr. Biers. How are you feeling?"

"Hungry."

"That's good, hunger is a positive sign. Let me check a few things and then let's see if we can't get you something to eat."

"Angel?" Riley's arm shook me. "Need you to move for a few minutes."

Lifting my head, I glanced at the doctor standing at the side of the bed in a long white coat smiling at me. "Good morning, Mr. Whitlock," he greeted as I stretched and twisted my body until I was off the bed.

"Morning," I replied. Sitting down, I put on my boots. "I'll be right back." They both nodded and I walked around the bed toward the door, noticing the cot that had been mentioned earlier. It was small, my feet would probably hang over the edge, but it was better than the chair. On top of it was a clear bag with a comb, toothbrush and toothpaste, and a shaving kit. Ignoring it, I left the room and went to a bathroom down the hall before going to the vending machines for a coffee. When I returned, the doctor was leaning against the window sill as he talked with Riley. I waited outside the room until I heard him getting ready to leave. As he exited, he saw me standing there and walked over.

"Mr. Biers is doing well. I've allowed him to have light solid food and if he's able to keep it down, he should be released sometime on Friday."

"Really?"

"Yes, his vitals are all strong, his incision is healing well. He's not going to be doing much of anything for the next several weeks, no work or activity. His movement will be limited between the bruises, ribs, and incision. Does he have someone that can help him out home?"

"Yes, he's going to stay with me for awhile."

"Excellent. Well, plan on taking him home Friday unless something happens between now and then. Your friend is very lucky," he finished with a small smile. "If you need anything at all, let the nurses know. I'll check back in later today."

"Okay, thanks," I replied, suspicious about the appearance of the cot and the sudden need to make sure I was comfortable. He turned and left and I went back into the room to find Riley eagerly filling out a menu.

"Did you see this? Baked manicotti, grilled cheese, mashed potatoes. They even have brownies." He held the menu up for me to inspect. Just about everything offered was checked off.

"Rile, you can't order it all," I said, grabbing the toothbrush and toothpaste before setting my coffee on the table.

"Why not? Then I'll have something for later."

"They will feed you again."

"They will? You sure?"

"Yeah, Edward said you get all three meals," I called out from the bathroom, putting toothpaste on my brush.

"They left a menu for you too," he said, his eyes sparkling as he held up a second menu. "What do you want?"

"Anything is fine," I answered around my toothbrush.

"Want me to check everything off for you too?"

"No, just a sandwich or something," I said before spitting into the sink. I wasn't hungry but I'd promised Peter I would eat.

"How boring," he sighed. When I finished, I washed my face and then returned to the chair. Riley had turned the television on and was clicking through the channels. "Did you know the housewives of New York have their own show?"

"Who are they?" I asked, angling the chair so I could see the television hanging on the wall.

"I have no fucking idea," he shrugged. "But I watched them when I was at the hotel. I also watched a biography on Jim Morrison. He was so hot. I totally look like him."

"Who's that?"

"Jesus, I hate your fucking parents," he muttered angrily. Finally, he settled on some cooking show and mumbled something about at least it wasn't about escargot. A few nurses came and went during the day, each one of them asking if they could get me anything, Riley raising a brow each time. "What's with the five star service?"

"I don't know. I know Edward talked to them before he left, maybe he said something," I suggested.

"He'll be back," Riley reminded me quietly when I sighed heavily. I had never wanted Riley to be more right before. He fell asleep sometime during the show with the top chefs, and I continued to watch the next show about restaurants in Paris.

"I was going to take you there someday," a smooth voice said behind me. Instantly, I was flooded with the contradiction of ache and relief. The footsteps got closer until he was standing right behind my chair. "Paris is beautiful in the spring. I had been thinking of taking you there in early May."

Clicking the remote on Riley's bed, I turned off the television and hung my head. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are, Jasper. We can't help who we love, can we," he stated more than asked. There was a tension in the air that I'd never felt with Peter, even on my first night with him, and I hated it. I hated that he felt uncomfortable with me. "I see you got the cot."

"That was you?"

"I wanted to make sure you were comfortable."

"Thank you. How did you…"

"I've got some pull. I used to work here."

"The teaching school," I muttered, remembering what he had told me about when he had first moved to Seattle. "It was here?"

"Yes."

"Brenden?"

"Still here."

"Sorry I made you come back here," I apologized.

"It's fine. That was a long time ago," he shrugged. Taking a deep breath, he moved, walking around me to the other side of the bed, where he stopped and gazed at Riley. Timidly, he reached out and brushed the back of his fingers down Riley's cheek. It was a gentle, intimate caress, and it surprised me. Not that Peter wasn't gentle, but that it was Riley, a hooker and addict, that he touched so tenderly. I looked back and forth between Peter's hand and his face, watching the way his eyes had softened and the nibbling on his bottom lip. Suddenly I felt like I was the intruder on them, that I was the outsider watching two lovers reunite. Peter didn't say a word as he skimmed Riley's face with the tips of his fingers, carefully avoiding the cuts and bruises. For a few minutes Peter's exploration of Riley's features continued, extending to his jaw and neck, finally grazing his collarbone.

"He's so thin," Peter finally murmured.

"He lives on the streets," I reminded him as quietly as I could, not sure if he had meant for his comment to be heard.

"How long?"

"About four years."

He nodded slightly, his hand moving to Riley's hair, brushing the tangled waves back. "How long have you known him?"

"A little more than two years."

"Where does he stay?"

"Anywhere, the docks mostly."

Sighing, his hand retreated, but he eyes never strayed from Riley. I watched, curious about the looks, the touches, he had given so freely to Riley. Tilting my head, I studied Peter, waiting for him to say something first. I knew he felt me staring at him, but he didn't acknowledge it until he was ready to.

"He looks so much like Nicolas," he whispered, barely aloud. "Same hair, eyes, lips…everything. I'm so lucky Nicolas never ended up like this."

Instantly, it all made sense.

He saw his old lover, the one he couldn't save, in the hospital bed.

"You okay?" I asked quietly.

Exhaling heavily, he nodded and finally looked at me for first time since arriving. "Yeah. Just a long few days." I looked away, knowing I was the reason for those long days. Peter stepped back from Riley, leaning against the window sill, his hands braced on it next to his hips. "How's he doing?"

"They said he can have solid food today and if all goes well, he can go home on Friday."

"Where is he going to go?" he asked, his eyes easily drifting back to Riley before he'd finished the question.

"He's going to live with me. I make enough to support us both." It was then that I remembered the text message from Tanya. "Thank you for the time off."

He shrugged casually, but I knew how much it cost him. "I knew you wouldn't want to think about going to work while he was here. I would have done it for anyone."

It was a bold face lie and I knew it, but I let it go. My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket, glancing at Peter when I saw Edward's name on the screen. "I'll be right back." Standing, I quickly walked out the door into the hall. "Hey, baby."

"Hey, love. How are you?"

"I'm okay, tired. How about you?"

"Same. I miss you. My bed feels so empty."

"Mine too. Just me and Teddy," I smiled. "I've got good news. The doctor said Riley can probably go home Friday."

"Excellent. My flight is pretty early, I'll call you as soon as I land, find out where you are."

"I can't wait."

"Me either, hold on." His voice was muffled as he spoke to someone for a few seconds before returning. "Sorry, love, I've got to go, they need me, but I'll call you later. I love you."

"Love you too, baby," I whispered before hanging up and putting my phone away. When I entered Riley's room again, I heard Peter's distinctive chuckle.

"You think so, huh?"

"Most definitely," Riley purred seductively.

Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes as I neared them. Peter hadn't moved, his body was loose and relaxed as he leaned against the ledge in front of the window. Riley was barely awake, and already he was trying to snare his prey into his web. Peter wasn't an easy catch, he wasn't just some john off the street.

"There you are," Riley said to me when I reached his bed. "I was just telling Cowboy how much I think he needs a good, hard fuck."

"Riley!" I exclaimed.

"What? He's tense, he needs to relieve some stress. Totally natural thing. I think you two should fuck right here and I can watch. Live vicariously and all that. I need something to perk up my spirits, make me heal faster," Riley finished as if he had just suggested we eat pizza for dinner.

Peter took it in stride, only a slight flash of emotion crossed his eyes before he shook his head, smiling. "I don't think that will be happening."

"Sorry," I sighed. "He's not housebroken yet."

"Fuck you," Riley laughed, then immediately winced, his eyes clenching, his non-casted arm going around his chest.

"You all right?" Peter asked, pushing off the sill and moving toward the bed.

"Yeah, I just keep forgetting it hurts to laugh." When Riley moved his hand away from his body, there was a distinct trembling. The doctors had started to wean him off the painkillers and his body was starting to go into withdrawals. Peter's eyes dropped to the shaking hand as well.

"I need to go," Peter said suddenly, looking directly at me. "I've got to get back to work, I just wanted to check on you. I'll call you later tonight when I get home."

"Okay, thank you for the cot and stuff."

"Anytime, babe," he gave me a half smile, then looked at Riley. "Take care."

"Call me," Riley winked, holding his hand up to his ear like phone.

Peter chuckled, and then moved around the bed, stopping next to me. Kissing my cheek, he whispered in my ear. "Love you."

My breath caught, and before I could reply, he was gone, just a ghost of his presence left behind. When I dared to look at Riley, I saw an arched brow. "I don't want to hear it," I sighed, flopping into the chair.

The rest of the day was spent watching television, watching Riley sleep, and eating the food they delivered for lunch and dinner. After complaining they hadn't brought him everything he'd asked for, Riley inhaled his food despite my warnings of eating too fast. Edward called after dinner and I talked to him for close to an hour while Riley napped. Edward told me about work and I told him I had gotten the week off from mine. He was surprised, but didn't hide his happiness over knowing I wasn't out fucking someone else. I neglected to tell him how I had gotten the time off.

"Love, you sound so tired, please go home," he encouraged quietly.

"No. I'm not leaving him," I sighed, glancing at the sleeping boy in the bed. "I can't, baby, I just…can't."

"Okay, but try to sleep, please. I can hear it in your voice."

"I will, I promise."

"I should go, I've got a early meeting. I'll call you tomorrow,"." His voice grew quieter.

"Have fun, I love you."

"I love you too, see you soon."

Hanging up, I put my phone down and looked at Riley sleeping. I debated crawling into bed with him or using on the cot. As much as I wanted to be near him, I knew he would sleep much more soundly without me in his bed. Turning the television off, I moved to the cot. Stretching out on it, I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, hoping I wouldn't dream.

"**~~**"

"They said I can shower," Riley grinned when I returned from taking a walk to the vending machines. Per his request, I tossed the chocolate candy bar onto his bed. "No Three Musketeers?"

"Sorry."

"No big deal. So the shower, want to join me?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"There won't be any of that for you for a long time."

"Why the hell not?" he pouted.

"Umm, maybe because you almost fucking died!"

"How long?" he whimpered.

"I don't know, but the doctor told me you couldn't work or anything for several weeks."

"Yeah, but does he know what kind of work I do? That I spend most of my work hours on my back?"

"I don't think so, but you're not fucking for work or pleasure."

"Well, that sucks," he sighed.

It was close to an hour and most of a reality show later before a nurse came in and removed the needle from his arm, freeing him from the pole and his painkillers. Then she helped him up and into the bathroom. I listened to him hit on her and shook my head. Even filthy and beaten, he was still working. That's exactly what it was, work. Picking someone up was so ingrained in us from living on the streets that it was second nature to flirt and seduce and charm, it was just even stronger in Riley. The shower started and nurse reappeared, promising to be back to check on him in a few minutes.

"Hey," Peter said behind me. As he walked around my chair to the window, he glanced at the television, and then the bathroom door. "Letting him shower is a good sign."

"It is?"

"Yes, definitely."

He looked everywhere but at me, and it killed me. I knew I deserved it, I knew it helped him but it didn't make it hurt any less. There was so much I felt I should say, but the words were lost somewhere inside me. Deep down, I knew there wasn't anything I could say that would ease either of our pain. It was something we were going to have to suffer through together with sleepless nights and broken hearts.

Finally, he looked at me, his anguish filling his beautiful eyes. "You look like shit."

"So do you," I breathed.

He shrugged. "I've got a reason."

"So do I."

Looking away, he clenched his jaw, the muscles twitching as he thought. "At least I'm not sleeping on a cot in a hospital room. Why don't you go home and sleep for awhile."

"I'm not leaving him," I sighed. "I can't leave him alone."

"Babe, he's perfectly safe here. James is a done deal. You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"You don' understand. I've left him twice, and both times something happened to him. I can't leave him again."

Folding his arms across his chest, he eyed me, silently challenging me. I returned his stare, not even flinching under his authority. When he realized I wasn't giving in, he sighed, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. Then he asked me something he hadn't asked in months.

"Jasper, do you trust me?"

I gave him the same answer I had then, only this time, I meant it. "Yes."

"Then go home and sleep-" Before I could protest, he held up a hand. "I'll stay here with him. He won't be alone. I promise I won't let anything happen to him." After I had seen the way that Peter had so reverently touched Riley, there was no doubt he would keep his word. "I'll call you if something happens, other than that, don't come back until tomorrow morning," Peter demanded gently.

"I…"

"Go," he repeated.

"What about you, where will you sleep?"

"You know me, I don't need sleep, but if I get the urge, I will use the cot."

"Riley is a handful, I don't know if leaving you alone with him…"

"Jasper, Riley isn't anything I can't handle. It will be fine. We'll watch some television and talk about how stubborn you are."Pushing off the window, he came over to me and took my hands in his, pulling me up from the chair. "Please go. I'm worried about you."

After all that had happened, everything I had asked of him and put him through, he was still putting my needs and comfort well before his own. Putting his fingers under my chin, he brought his lips to mine in a very brief, barely there kiss. When he pulled away, he looked at me, the anguish in his eyes so much more visible close up.

"For me," he requested and I nodded. "Good. Now go before he gets out. I don't want to see or hear from you until tomorrow." He tried to smile, releasing me.

"Thank you," I whispered before grabbing my jacket and heading toward the door. After a small wave from Peter, I turned and left.

The cab ride home seemed longer than ever before, the motion of the car almost putting me to sleep. As soon as I was inside my apartment, I realized I hadn't been home since the night I left to go find James. Going into the kitchen, I picked up the stuff on the table, putting the money away and throwing the note in the trash. I grabbed a beer and opened it, tossing my jacket onto the chair on my way to the couch. Sitting, I pulled off my boots and took a long sip of beer, enjoying the cool liquid as it coated my throat and promised some relief. After I turned on the television, I lay back and took another drink. My eyes were already closing before I had made it through credits of whatever show was on.

The knocking was light, more of a tapping, and I jumped up panicking. The beer I had fallen asleep holding spilled a little and I was swiping at it when I got up and walked to the door. I never expected it to be him, but I was fucking glad it was. He dragged his bag inside and kicked the door closed with his foot before cupping my cheek with his hand.

"You okay, love?"

"I am now," I barely nodded and he took my hand.

"C'mon."

Turning without another word, he led me to the bedroom, where he placed me by the bed and stripped my clothes from me piece by piece until I was naked, occasionally using a hand to steady me when I swayed with exhaustion. Standing behind me, he placed a kiss on my bare shoulder.

"My beautiful Jasper," he murmured before stepping away to shed his own clothes.

Undressed, he pulled the blanket back, placing Teddy on the table, and then climbed into my bed, holding his hand out for me. I lay down beside him, my back pressed to his chest, my body heavy with exhaustion and alcohol. A strong arm wrapped around my middle and a leg slung over mine, he held me as close as possible. The last thing I remembered was a kiss to my neck and a long, contented sigh.

"**~~**"

"Love?" the sweetest voice whispered and I felt a warmth spread through me as the pull immediately increased with the lifelike dream. He sounded so close, so tangible. I swore his hands were on me, caressing my thigh and pushing my hair away from my face.

"Mmmm, baby," I moaned in my dream. "Wish you were here, miss you."

"I am here," the velvet voice chuckled. "Wake up, you'll see."

Refusing to open my eyes, to chase away the nicest dream I'd had in nights, I shook my head. Then I felt lips on mine, tender and soft and loving, moving as they coaxed me from the dream, convincing me that he was real, he was there. Opening my eyes, I was met with emerald ones gazing at me as he kissed me. Lost in the depths of so many greens mixed together, I moaned and reached up, winding my hand around his neck into the silky hair. I parted my lips, our tongues reacquainting for the first time in days, and the awakened pull forced my heart to skip a beat. Groaning, I rolled onto my back and pulled him on top of me, needing to feel the weight of his body on mine. Repeatedly, our lips met until Edward finally pulled away, smiling.

"You're home," I sighed. Edward was with me, things were as they should always be. The ache from the pull eased and escalated at the same time.

"I'm home," he breathed before kissing me again, our lips mashing together impatiently.

His hips began to move on mine, small, steady thrusts as his hands roamed my body, pausing in my hair before skimming down my sides to my hips. Gripping them he used my body for leverage, grinding his pelvis into mine, our cocks growing with each seductive circle. As we kiss and touched and loved, nothing existed outside the bedroom, no hospital or Riley or Peter. It was as if were at the beach all over again. My fingers threaded through his hair, tugging and pulling it franticly, anything to get him even closer than he already was.

"Baby, baby," I moaned against his skin, moving my lips along the strained cords of his neck. Never ceasing the movement of his hips, he moved a hand up to my neck, wrapping around it to lift my head off the mattress and press me tighter to him.

"Jesus, I missed you. Feels so fucking good," he groaned, the vibration in his throat traveling to my lips as he arched his head back to give me more access. "Need you in me so bad."

I knew exactly what he meant. There something growing between us, even more than ever before, something uncontainable and urgent. Moving a hand to his ass, I kneaded the flesh and then held him down as I thrust up against him, our throbbing, slickened erections glided along each other, offering little friction but promising more. I parted my legs easily, letting him settle between them before I moved my hand around his hip and snuck it between us, skimming along our lengths to gather the clear fluid that had seeped from us. A shudder wracked his body when my finger brushed the hot wrinkled skin of his balls before tracing his hole with my middle finger as I continued to lick and nip along his jaw line.

"Oh Jesus, yes," he cried out when the tip of my finger slipped into the puckered entrance. Wantonly pleading for more, he spread my legs further apart with his knees to open himself. He dropped his head onto my shoulder and he pressed down onto my finger, immediately wanting it deeper.

"You like that?" I whispered into his ear, earning me another shiver from him. "You like me finger fucking you?"

A loud groan was his reply, and then he began moving his hips up and down my finger, impaling himself on it. Between us, his cock bounced, slapping my abdomen every time he thrust. The abrasive scuff of his unshaven jaw scratched my shoulder while his entire body moved above me. It wasn't long before his breaths were labored and washed over my chest in heavy gasps. His hands were everywhere on me, not an inch of wherever he could reach went untouched, and my body responded eagerly to the demanding caresses.

"Please, love…been too long," he panted, "fuck me now."

"Mmm, I want nothing more," I replied quietly as I pulled my finger from him. He sighed at the loss and lifted himself up onto his hands so he was looking down at me. We had gone from hot fucking to making love with just one look. I brought my other hand up to his face, outlining his lips with my forefinger before whispering, "I love you."

"I love you, too" he mumbled, his eyes almost rolling back into his head when his cock, caught between our bodies, twitched against mine. "I need you to make love to me."

Leaning down, he slanted his mouth over mine and kissed me hard and deep, moaning into it before he ripped his lips from mine and rolled off me to reach for the drawer in the nightstand. Grabbing the condom and lube, he kneeled and popped the bottle open, pouring some on his fingers. Then he reached down between his parted legs and smeared the lube around his hole, teasing himself with his wet fingers.

"Jesus," I groaned, licking my lips. His nipples were pebbled with longing and the muscles in his abdomen flexed each time his body reacted to his own touch. When he was ready, he opened the condom and tugged it on my cock before slathering it with lube.

"I want you on top me, all of you," he said as he lay down on his stomach next to me. He folded his arms, resting his chin on them and looking at me expectantly. Tilting my head, I gazed at him, taking in the broad muscled shoulders that thinned to a trim waist, dipping before curving back up to a sculpted ass. Then my eyes flashed to his face and adored the lust and love in his eyes and the flush of cheeks.

"You're perfect," I whispered reverently before moving to him. I straddled his thighs, keeping them together and nestling my cock between the cheeks of his ass. Leaning forward, I unfolded his arms and stretched them straight so he was almost touching the headboard. Then I bowed and kissed each knot of his spine while my hands skated along the sleek muscles roping the sides of his body, his muscles quivering in the wake of my touch. Soon I was flush to him, covering his body completely with my own. I paused my kisses when my lips reached his ear. "Want me to fuck you, baby?"

"God, yes," he replied in a needy growl, attempting to raise his ass to me, but my weight kept him flat. Shifting my hips up, my cock slid down his ass to his entrance, the head greedily pressing into him. He hissed as I rocked my hips forward, my cock easing past the tight ring of muscle, feeling it gradually give way under my instance until I was completely sheathed by him. Stilling my hips, I reached up and entwined our fingers together, my lips at his ear. My hands covered his where they clutched for purchase at the mattress as he turned his head and devoured my mouth over his shoulder, groaning into the kiss when our tongues swirled together.

"So fucking tight," I murmured between breaths. "Gotta move." I slid my cock from him until only the head remained inside before thrusting back in. His thighs parted a bit, giving me more room, but my thrusts remained tantalizingly shallow.

We languidly made love for almost an hour, our bodies never satisfied no matter how much we touched. It was carnal and raw and erotic. Whispers of love and devotion were exchanged between kisses, our lips never leaving the other. Edward's cock was pressed into the mattress, our slow, deliberate movements giving him enough to friction to frustrate him but never bring him to the edge. I lapped the sweat off the skin of his shoulder and his teeth sank into my bicep, leaving short, red marks as keening sounds joined the potent scent of our arousal to fill the air of the room. When I couldn't hold off anymore, when my body was shaking from the effort of staving off my orgasm, I laid my head on his shoulder, my hair sticking to my damp face.

"Need to come right now," I grunted onto his cheek as I dragged my tongue along it.

"Me too," he breathed. Shifting again, I lifted one leg and placed it between his, then did the same with the other. Once his legs were parted around me, I began to pump my hips, hitting deeper with each knifing thrust. "Fuck, yeah, right there!"

Slamming into him, my cock struck his gland, propelling him closer to his climax while I eagerly chased down my own. Our upper bodies were still in constant contact, my chest covered his back, my arms lay on his, our laced fingers clutched each other. Guttural moans escaped us as with each thrust of my hips, and each acceptance of his, our souls were etched into each other, forever tangled and meshed.

"Jesus," I grunted, driving into him harder when I felt the coil low in my belly heat up, drawing my balls tight against my body. Beneath me, Edward attempted to move, his body craving the release we had both been putting off for too long. He massaged his cock against the mattress and blanket, using the fiction to get off. Sweat glistened bodies slid effortlessly together in a united frenzy. "So fucking tight, I want to keep my cock buried in your ass all fucking day."

That did it, even without my touch on his cock, Edward came.

"Fuck, Jasper," he cried out hoarsely.

His body stiffened under me, his hips bucking frantically as his cock pulsed and emptied onto the blanket. I felt his body tensing and relaxing, the spasms of his ass clamping around my cock, enticing my own climax as it bore down on me. I kissed him, hard, plunging my tongue into his mouth, swallowing his grunts while he rode out the waves of his orgasm. Hitting deep inside him, I prolonged it with each tap to his prostate until he was begging me to stop.

"Come for me," he murmured into the kiss, and two thrusts later, I did just that. The coil sprung, filling my body with a sweet fire that spread out from my groin up my spine and down my legs, curling my toes as I stilled.

"Coming," I groaned as my entire body tightened before my cock jerked inside him and filled the condom. Powerful crests washed over me, leaving me trembling. Our tongues met again and again, our ragged breaths mingling in the space between us. Not wanting to part, I remained on top of him, my body heavy on him as we kissed, my hips still rutting against him until my cock began to soften inside him. Finally releasing his hand, I reached down and grabbed the base of my cock to hold the condom on as I pulled out of his used hole. Tugging off the rubber, I tossed it on the floor and then reached back up for his hand. Taking it in mine, I rolled us so we were on our sides and put my leg over his, holding him to me tightly. His sated cock rested limply against his hip, a dark spot from his release staining the blanket next to him. Nudging the bend of his neck with my nose, I inhaled his scent, one I knew so well and had missed so much.

Sometimes it scared me. How much it hurt to breathe when he wasn't around, how much I felt his absence, how much I craved to have him in my arms every goddamn second. No one but him could ever understand the ache I suffered when he was gone.

"Jas?"

"Mmm?"

"Love you," he whispered simply. Smiling against his skin, I sighed. Somehow he knew exactly what I needed to hear.

"Love you too."

He moved and I regretfully loosened my hold on him, only to tighten it again as soon as he had flipped over and was facing me. There wasn't one part of us that wasn't touching, our foreheads rested together and our feet skittered against each other. We each had one arm under each other's heads while the other ones draped over our waists.

After a long kiss, I pulled back and eyed him. "You're home early."

"I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I needed to be with you," he admitted quietly. "You look so tired."

"Been a long week without you," I tried to smile.

"Is he doing okay?"

"Yeah. He's still in pain, but they've started to take him off the pain medicine, and…I noticed his hands shaking earlier."

"Withdrawals. They're kicking because of the lesser amounts of morphine."

"I'm hoping if I get him home today and started on those pills you gave me, it won't be too bad for him."

"The sooner the better," he agreed, but neither of us moved. Instead, we kissed some more, nibbling lips and sucking on tongues as they flickered and explored. When I felt the slight movement of his hips against me, I broke the kiss and carded my fingers through his hair.

"We should go before we get distracted," I murmured. Sighing, he nodded. "What time is it?"

He lifted his head and glanced at my clock before replying, "Almost eight. It will be close to nine by the time we shower and get there."

After one last long kiss, I moved from his grasp and rolled onto my back, smiling. "Shower?"

When he nodded, we both knew we wouldn't make it to the hospital by nine. Getting off the bed, I waited for him to follow me to the bathroom and I turned the water on. We behaved until we kissed again, then it was only a few minutes later that he was on his knees in the shower stall, my cock sliding hard and fast past his lips, my cries drowned out by the shower when I came down his throat. My cum was still dribbling from the side of his mouth when he stood up and kissed me. I returned the favor, stroking his soapy erection until he was thoroughly fucking my hand. When I whispered how hot he was all lathered up, he came, spraying his load over my hand and abdomen. After rinsing off one last time, we got out. Edward chose to shave while I skipped it, instead going to the living room and getting my cell phone. While I kept one ear for Edward in the bathroom, I dialed Peter's number.

"Morning, babe," he answered, yawning.

"Hi," I greeted quietly.

"Did you sleep?"

"Yeah, did you?"

"A little, maybe an hour or two."

"I'm going to be heading there soon, I should be there in about thirty minutes if you want to leave," I suggested in a low whisper.

He snorted. "Yesterday you wouldn't leave him to use the bathroom but today you want me to leave him alone until you get here?"

I was silent, my heart pounding with what I had to tell him, what I couldn't tell him. Swallowing, I closed my eyes.

"You're not coming here alone, are you?" he murmured sadly.

The ache in my chest that had been temporarily soothed by Edward forcefully returned at the sound of resignation in Peter's voice. Glancing over my shoulder to make sure Edward was still in the bathroom, I bit my lip.

"No," I sighed.

He was silent, I was sure he was holding back what he really wanted to say but couldn't because of where he was. He had offered to stay with Riley so I could get some rest only he hadn't counted on the rest being in the arms of another man.

But neither had I.

"I'll be gone by the time you get here," he sighed. I went to thank him but heard nothing.

He'd hung up.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked from behind me. Nodding, I set my phone down and turned to him.

"Yeah, just letting him know we're on the way," I replied, lying as easily as Riley did. I followed Edward into the bedroom and dressed, my mind replaying the conversation with Peter in my head, the anguish in his voice, in just those few words, had been enough to halt my breath.

"Ready?" Edward stood in the doorway dressed in jeans and a sweater, a warm smile on his face.

"Yeah." I joined him and grabbed my wallet, keys, and phone before we both headed out the door and to the hospital. It was Edward holding my hand through the lobby, but it was Peter that I was thinking about.

We arrived at the hospital just like we had almost a week before, only this time I led the way up to Riley's room. My heart raced more with every step I took, I knew Peter would do as he said, after all he had done, I had no doubt, but a sliver of me still wondered if he would be in the room. Reaching Riley's door, I pushed it open, relieved to see the room empty expect for Riley. Even the cot was gone.

"About fucking time," he growled. "Where the fuck have you been? They said I can go, now get me the fuck out of here."

The morphine was definitely wearing off.

"Nice to see you too," Edward quipped and Riley immediately softened.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just really want to go. These walls…" Edward walked over and put a hand on Riley's leg.

"I know. Let's get you out of here," Edward smiled. "Do you have any clothes?"

"Yeah, over on the chair," Riley replied and pointed to the chair I'd slept in. Looking over, I saw a pair of jeans, briefs, a tee shirt, socks, and even sneakers. The tags were missing but the clothes were brand new. When I looked back at Riley, he was staring at me, his eyes dark and knowing. Nodding, he answered my unasked the question. The one he'd seen in my eyes.

_Peter._

Edward fetched the clothes and brought them over to Riley. "Let me help," he offered when Riley winced in pain as he went to move. Edward gently slipped the hospital gown off Riley's shoulders and down his body until Riley sat naked and shivering on the edge of the bed. Moving quickly, Edward grabbed the shirt and eased Riley's arms through it and then over his head. It took Edward a little longer than necessary to pull the shirt down Riley's torso, his fingers skimming delicately along Riley's bruised flesh. Riley cooperated quietly, his mood somber as he growled through the agony moving so much caused. He put a hand on Edward's shoulder for balance as he stood up while Edward tugged the briefs up Riley's thighs and over the curve of his ass.

Riley threw me a glance over his shoulder. "You gonna help or just watch?"

"I think Edward's doing just fine," I replied, folding my arms across my chest. A sparkle returned to Riley's eyes when Edward looked up at him from his knees, his mouth just about level with Riley's limp cock.

"See something you like, beautiful?"

Blushing, Edward let the elastic snapped against Riley's flesh, smirking when Riley flinched. The same actions were repeated for the jeans and then Riley sat on the bed while Edward put the socks and sneakers on Riley's feet. Edward stood when he was finished, but before he could move, Riley wrapped his legs around Edward's, jerking him closer. Lifting a finger, he placed it under Edward's chin then drew him in, placing a soft kiss on Edward's lush lips.

"Thanks, beautiful. Though I much prefer it when you help me take the clothes off instead of on."

Before anything further could happen, there was a knock and the door opened as a nurse walked in the room. Edward jumped back out of Riley's reach, a scarlet covering his entire face like a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Riley rolled his eyes, then whispered. "It's okay, beautiful, they know I like cock." The nurse was blushing almost as much as Edward as she approached Riley with some papers. She proceeded to go over his instructions, detailing all his restrictions and diet. "What do you mean no sex for six weeks? Do you know how long that is?" he sighed desperately. Edward stood to the side, a hand covering the smile I knew he was wearing. Shifting her weight back and forth, the nurse tried to reason with Riley.

"It's just not advisable with your incision and fractured ribs."

"But he's real gentle, ma'am, I swear," he dropped into a low drawl that he'd picked up from me. When she didn't give in, he changed his tactic. "What about jerking off? Nothing crazy, just your basic stroking. Can I do that?"

"Um…um…I suppose," she blushed. Edward snickered, trying hard not to laugh. "Here is your prescription and the directions for taking it."

"Now the drug part I can handle," Riley countered.

"Any questions before you go?"

"Nope."

"Okay then, call us if anything comes up, especially anything on that list. We'll see you in two weeks for your follow up visit." Before Riley could argue, she darted from the room.

"Yeah, go ahead and laugh. My dick is going to be fucking raw," he groaned. Riley tilted his head and kicked his legs out toward Edward, pulling him toward him again, his eyes never leaving Edward's. When I cleared my throat, Edward glanced at me sheepishly and shrugged.

"Beautiful, what do you say we leave him behind and you and I run away together? Somewhere tropical, I've always wanted to see palm trees." Enthralled, Edward practically swayed under Riley's gaze.

"Rile."

Nothing.

"Riley," I repeated, raising my voice. "Let him go."

He considered my words for a second before his legs fell away from Edward. "Have I ever told you that you suck the fun out of everything?" Riley said to me over his shoulder.

"That's not all I've suck out of you," I returned. "Now let's go."

Edward stepped back and held out his hand, waiting for Riley to take it before he helped him off the bed. Riley might have talked big but when he started to walk the pain flashed across his face. Before he even made it to the door, a nurse appeared with a wheelchair, claiming it was procedure.

"Look at this boys, I'm leaving in style!" Edward helped Riley sit down, and then I pushed him down the hall. As we passed by the nurses' station, he called out to them all by name, waving and blowing kisses. Edward shook his head next to me.

"You have no idea," I sighed to Edward as Riley winked at one of the male doctors while we waited for the elevator. We got on and Riley looked at me in the reflection of the doors.

"You sure you're ready for this?" he asked me with a raised brow.

No, I wasn't sure.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

I'm beyond ecstatic to announce that Domward's Mistress has a new J/E story up called The Longest Year, check it out and welcome her back. It's a relief and joy to have her writing again. Before you ask, no, she is not writing M&A again.

There is a new contest call Pimp My Bunnies being hosted by Dannie. You can find details here http:/www DOT fanfiction DOT net/~pimpmybunnies Dannie has the best plot bunnies hands down!

Also, if you haven't read the previous chapter, (it's not an outtake, just out of order) I suggest you do so for some smutty fluff, and a hint of the future.

So…need to vent? Have theories? Come visit us on the Twilighted tread (I even post pretty boys and teasers to pass the time between updates) http:/www DOT twilighted DOT net/forum/viewtopic DOT php?f=44&t=9674 or follow me on Twitter Touchstone_67


	33. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road pt 2

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Here is part two of Jpov, and I have to admit, that this chapter absolutely drained me to write. In my opinion, this is the most important chapter so far, and I literally felt exhausted after each writing session. I'm not sure why, I think it's a combination of a few things, but…yeah, it was a hard one. That being said, tissue warning. Those that have read the original one shot will see some of it worked into this chapter.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"I don't want to take the fucking pills," Riley snapped, shoving my hand away. Fisting it quickly, I stopped the pills from falling to the floor. Riley hung his head, running his shaky hands through his hair for the at least the tenth time since sitting at the kitchen table. It fell back into place, tumbling around his face in long, loose waves.

"Rile, you promised," I reminded him and he glared at me.

"Yeah, I fucking know what I fucking said, you don't need to fucking remind me."

Watching him, I unfolded my hand, exposing the two pills in my palm. Resigned, he reached up and took them, purposely sticking out his tongue and placing the pills on it before curling it back in and swallowing.

"Want proof?" he asked, opening his mouth wide. Ignoring him, I turned to the refrigerator.

"What do you want for dinner? We've got-" I started as I shifted through the contents of the fridge.

"I'm not hungry."

It was my turn to sigh. He'd barely eaten since we'd arrive home.

"You need to eat," I said, not turning around. Without saying another word he got up and left the kitchen. "Fuck!" I growled through clenched teeth and slammed the fridge door. Normally I was a patient person, but I was about to kick his fucking scrawny ass.

And he'd only been home one day.

After he had been released from the hospital and we had gotten his prescription for morphine filled, Edward and I had taken him back to my place, setting him up in my spare bedroom. When I had seen Riley gingerly moving around, I looked at Edward but he had assured me that the prescription Riley had been given would make him comfortable. Lying on the couch watching television, Riley had spent the rest of the day high from his meds. When he had reached for a morphine pill sooner than he was allowed, Edward stopped him.

"I'm in fucking pain, I need it," Riley sneered.

"You can have one in another hour," Edward replied calmly.

"Fuck off," Riley said, slowly shuffling back to the couch.

Edward immediately hid the pills and we began rationing them to Riley, one every four hours, per the directions on the bottle. His mood would get progressively worse until we gave him one, then within a few minutes, he was happy again, his body's craving answered as the drug seeped into his bloodstream and dulled his senses. The Riley I knew best was the one when he wasn't high, when there were barely any drugs in his system, but I'd witnessed his addiction for a few years, I'd seen him in withdrawals, so desperate for a fix that he would do anything. I'd been on the receiving end of that need many times, and as much as I hated to admit, I had even gotten him drugs a few times when he wasn't able to function. It shamed me to feed his addiction, but he was my friend, and I would have rather have had him high then not have him at all.

While I had witnessed it all before, Edward hadn't. At first, he was surprised with the outbursts of anger, but he took it all in stride and never lost his patience.

I walked out of the kitchen and found Riley on the couch. He wasn't alone. Edward was sitting with his feet up on the coffee table and Riley's head in his lap as Riley lay on the couch. Edward's fingers absently worked through Riley's waves as they watched television. The gentle touch in his hair eased his demons away and Riley's eyes drifted closed. Edward grimly looked up at me.

I knew exactly what he was thinking.

Riley needed rehab.

The next day, Riley actually ate, his mood considerably better from the day before. When I asked Edward why, he said the Clonazepam and Naltrexone we'd given him were kicking in, relieving some of the physical withdrawal symptoms.

Later that morning, Edward sat at piano for the first time in weeks and effortlessly began to play. I was coaxed out of the kitchen by the melancholy music, the low and heavy notes carried a sadness or regret to them that I could almost feel. Sitting at the piano with his eyes closed, Edward's body swayed slightly with the music. The serenity he achieved playing was like nothing I'd ever seen on anyone before, it was like he was transported to his own world, one where it was only him and the music. Standing beside the piano, I watched silently, not daring to say anything for fear of invading the amazing world he was in. When I turned to look at Riley on the couch, I saw his eyes closed like Edward's and the same exact peaceful look on his face.

Maybe Edward wasn't alone in the world he had gone to.

The last notes of the song faded wistfully away and Edward's eyes slowly drifted open, landing right on me.

"That was beautiful, what was it?" I asked in quiet awe. I still hadn't gotten use to the talent he possessed, and while I knew nothing about music, I knew what sounded nice.

"Beethoveen's Piano Sonata Number Fourteen in C minor, more commonly known as Moonlight Sonata."

The answer was definite, confident in its knowledge, but it hadn't been Edward that had replied.

Both he and I turned to look at Riley, his eyes still closed as he released a heavy sigh filled with the same sadness as the notes. When he opened his eyes and found us staring, he got up and left the room, his door closing behind him. I turned back to Edward and he shrugged.

Riley's good mood from the morning disappeared and got progressively worse as the day continued. When Edward refused to give into Riley's pouts and promises of a lot of sex once he was better if Edward just gave him more pain pills, Riley got angry.

"I didn't want to fuck your rich, stuck up ass anyway," he yelled. Sharply turning to leave the room, he hissed when pain shot through him and he grabbed his side, glancing at Edward over his shoulder. "Thanks a fucking lot, beautiful."

That night, I ran down to the corner store for a few things. I arrived home to find them on the couch, Riley curled up into Edward's body, his head on Edward's shoulder while Edward's arm was wrapped protectively around Riley. Riley's eyes were glazed over from the fresh round of morphine that coursed through his blood.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Beautiful," he apologized to Edward.

Edward kissed Riley's head and held him tighter. "I know."

After Riley went to bed a few hours later, I led Edward into our bedroom, taking off his clothes piece by piece until he was naked. Kissing along his hips, I watched him through my lashes as I lapped up the length of his limp cock. Immediately, his hands went to my hair and with a small thrust of his hips, encouraged me to take his length into my mouth. Under the skill of my tongue, his cock grew, soon throbbing between my lips. It wasn't long before he was crying out my name as he shot his load down my throat.

Standing, I stripped off my clothes and then guided him onto the bed. Grabbing the lube and a condom, I inserted a finger to ready him before sinking my cock deep into his ass. He was on all fours before me, my fingers digging into his hips as I slammed into him from behind, forcing the headboard to bang rhythmically against the wall. I came inside him, collapsing onto him after, kissing him frantically as the last of my climax flowed through me. I was still sweaty and panting for breath while lying on top of Edward, still enjoying the haze of my orgasm when there was a soft knock on the door. Before either of us could move, the door opened and Riley appeared. He was dressed in a pair of my pajama bottoms, his erection forming a prominent tent in the front of them.

"I heard the bed banging against the wall," he mumbled sheepishly.

Shifting my hips, I slid out of Edward and rolled onto my side to pull the condom off. Unashamed of what we'd been doing, Edward didn't move, his body flush and glowing in the moonlight of the room. If Edward hadn't been there, I would have invited Riley into my bed, offering to take care of his erection for him.

But Edward was there.

He glanced at me as I lay naked next to him, my softening cock exposed. "C'mere," Edward said to Riley, patting the bed next to his sweaty body.

For the first time in days, Riley's eyes brightened, and not because he was high. He slowly made his way to the bed, delicately sitting down on it. Edward piled some pillows against the headboard for Riley to lean against. Once he was settled, his eyes fell on Edward's ass, and his hand absently snuck under the elastic of his pants. When he licked his lips and groaned, I felt my own cock used cock twitch.

"Rile, you can't," I reminded him.

"I can't fuck, but I can jerk off."

"Or get head," Edward suggested. When I looked at him, he shrugged. "Just saying."

"Is that an offer?" I asked him.

"Please let it be an offer," Riley sighed, clearly frustrated. Edward kept his eyes on me as he sat up and moved closer. Putting his forehead to mine, he spoke.

"It's only an offer if you're okay with it. If you're not, then it's not an offer," he said, almost breathless with the idea of having free rein to touch Riley so intimately. Even with another man in our bed, Edward's love for me was strong, never wavering or faltering, and I knew even if Riley's cock in was his mouth, it was me that was in his heart. "I love you."

"Love you too," I whispered, pulling his lips to mine.

"Ahem," Riley cleared his throat. "Is that a yes or no?"

Breaking the kiss, I glanced at Riley's begging pout over Edward's shoulder. "You've got ten minutes to come, if you don't, then I take over."

"With lips like his, I'll only need five," he bragged. Using his good hand and moving as fast as his battered body would allow, Riley yanked his pants down over his erection and sac, then looked eagerly at Edward. "Suck hard, Beautiful."

Smirking, Edward crawled across the bed to Riley, straddling him on all fours to keep his weight off him, then looked at me with a silent question.

Sighing, I nodded. "Yeah, you can kiss him."

Edward leaned forward and kissed Riley, smashing his mouth to Riley's, taking full advantage and plunging his tongue between Riley's open lips. Groaning, Riley let go of his cock and curved his good hand around Edward's neck, forcing him even closer. The moans they both emitted, coupled with the sound of their lips meeting repeatedly, went straight to my dick. Between them, Riley's cock was seeping fluid, running down the head and dripping onto his abdomen. Instinctively, Edward's hips began to rock back and forth, and he when finally broke the kiss he was gasping. Without a word, he tenderly kissed down Riley's neck, along his collarbone and across his chest, taking a nipple between his teeth. Riley's hands never left Edward's head and shoulders as he watched him intently.

"Beautiful, feels so good but," Riley looked pointedly at me, "we're on a time limit. I need you to get to the good stuff damn fast." Obeying, Edward quickly worked his way down Riley, leaving a rain of kisses along the pale skin between the bruises before finally reaching his destination. Lifting his head, Edward looked at me one last time, waiting for me to give him final permission to take Riley's cock into his mouth. "Jesus, please say yes, please say yes," Riley begged.

To Riley a week without fucking was like a year to anyone else.

Glancing up at Riley's expectant face, I nodded to Edward and he smirked. Grasping the base of his cock with his hand, Riley tapped Edward's slightly parted lips with the swollen head of his cock, trailing his precum over Edward's bottom lip. While Riley held himself, Edward flicked his tongue out, teasing the head of Riley's cock as he watched Riley's reaction. Pure pleasure crossed our lover's face, the brink of ecstasy already appearing on his features.

"Open," Riley demanded, and neither of us were surprised when Edward responded with a shudder as his lips parted further and he lowered them around Riley's cock. "Ohhhh fucccck!" Riley groaned, resisting the temptation to thrust up. Instead, he released his cock, letting Edward take over, and clutched at the bedspread. Skillfully, Edward began to move over Riley's cock, lavishing it with his tongue while he took it deep into his hot throat and swallowed.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," Riley exclaimed and I chuckled.

Not wanting to be left out, I moved closer, to not only get a better view of Edward, but to reach Riley.

"Mmmm," he moaned when I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. We kissed, deeper and harder than we had in a long time, our tongues familiarizing themselves with each other before exploring mouths. It was searing, and it was possessive. I felt a hand squeeze my thigh and knew it was Edward. With that kiss, I exposed to Edward the desire Riley and I shared. While Edward knew about our physical relationship, he'd never really seen it. He had witnessed Riley and I kiss, but he'd never seen all the sparks those kisses could create. Riley might never have held back with me when Edward was around, but I had.

But I didn't hold back anymore.

The entire room filled with an energy, and we all felt it. Riley's hand went to my hair, burying in the sweat-dampened curls as he tilted his head and devoured me even more. I heard Edward moaning, the vibrations traveling through Riley and his body began to tremble. Breaking the kiss, I pulled away and looked down at Edward. It was an erotic sight, seeing my lover's head bob up and down my best friend's cock.

"Someday I'm gonna fuck you so hard, beautiful," Riley vowed in a low, raspy whispered.

"Fucking hot," I groaned and Edward looked at up me, a twinkle in his eyes. One of his hands held Riley's hips down to be sure he didn't move more than necessary, his other left my thigh and went between Riley's spread legs. I knew as soon as he had taken Riley's balls into his hand by the tremor that went through Riley.

"Fuck, more," he pleaded, trying to ease his legs open more, but was hindered by his pants. I moved my mouth to his ear and traced the shell of it with the tip of my tongue. I watched Edward work, knowing exactly how fucking good everything he was doing felt. He released Riley's cock only to lap his way down it to the wrinkled skin of Riley's balls. After a few flicks of his tongue, he sucked one into his mouth, earning a throaty moan from us both. Once that ball was sufficiently soaked, he moved to the next, paying it the same attention. By the time he was done, Riley was babbling nonsense.

"Five minutes," I smirked.

"C'mon, beautiful, show me what you got," Riley coaxed. "Let me see what Jasper keeps bragging about."

Beaming with pride, Edward took Riley's cock back into his mouth, immediately sucking it down his throat past his gag reflex, swallowing repeatedly, before he began bobbing his head again. Riley's salvia slickened cock twitched and I saw his eyes float into the back of his head as the fingers that stuck out from his cast clutched at blanket.

And he thought he was the professional.

I ran my hands over Riley's chest, carefully avoiding his bandage to pinch and tweak his nipples while Edward worked Riley's cock until he was writhing as much as his beaten body would allow.

"Does it feel good, whore?" I murmured only for Riley in his ear. "You like my boyfriend's mouth sucking your cock?"

"Fuck yeah," he breathed, his eyes trained on Edward's head. "Wanna to fuck his ass so bad."

"I know you do," I teased him with warm, moist licks, "but he's mine."

"So am I," Riley tried to reason, his fingers fisting my hair.

"Yes, you are."

And he was. But it was different.

With less than a minute to spare, I saw Riley's body tense, and I kissed him, swallowing his strangled cries as he came. Edward released Riley's cock, stroking him hard and fast as his cock pulsed and sprayed over a week's worth of creamy, white cum onto his chest. His hips bucked and twitched even with Edward holding them down. Riley's tongue swirled with mine as we both moaned while he finished riding out his orgasm. When I felt his body relax, I broke the kiss and sat back. Even under his bruises, the flush on his face was noticeable.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, feeling guilty for kissing his healing lips so hard.

"Fuck no," he chuckled. "No pain at all." Edward sat up between Riley's legs, his hand still milking Riley's cock. Riley's eyes left me and went to Edward. "Beautiful, if that was any indication of what it would be like to fuck you, I'd think we'd spontaneously combust."

Edward smiled and, while keeping a hand on Riley's sated cock, motioned for me. Leaning toward me, he kissed me, sharing his newfound taste of Riley's cock, one I knew well. Sweeping my tongue through Edward's mouth, I picked up the potent taste of Riley and moaned when I recalled just how fucking hot it had been watching Edward suck him off. By the time we stopped kissing and looked back at Riley, we found his eyes closed with a satisfied smile on his lips, his casted arm resting next to him.

"I think you wore him out," I chuckled to Edward. He got up and returned with a towel. Riley flinched but never woke up as Edward cleaned him and then pulled his pants back up over his sated cock. Tossing the towel on the floor, Edward climbed back into bed, his back to Riley as he fell into my open arms.

"Thank you," he mumbled into the skin of neck as he nuzzled as close as possible.

I had to admit it had been hot to watch them together, but I couldn't ignore the flare of jealousy that had rushed through me in seeing Edward's lips around another man. It might have been brief, but the heat of it had been there. But Rile had needed it, and I had no doubt of where Edward's heart lay, regardless of where his mouth had been.

While Riley slept soundly next to us, I held Edward in my embrace, kissing him so thoroughly that any memory of another man was certain to be erased.

The morning after, Riley was in the shower by the time Edward and I woke up. We took the opportunity of the time alone and Edward showed me the same skill he had shown Riley, sucking off my morning wood with vigor. I had just come when we heard Riley go into his room, and a few minutes later, he was in the kitchen and the scent of coffee wafted into our room. Before Edward could leave me to dress, I pulled him on top me, having him straddle my chest and fuck my mouth until he grunted and emptied his hot seed into me.

Finally, we lazily climbed out of bed, putting on some flannel pants before wandering into the kitchen where Riley was pouring a mug of coffee, swearing when he couldn't hold the mug still enough. Edward stepped forward and held it for him, then leaned forward and kiss his cheek before pouring a mug for each of us.

"Sleep well?" Edward asked.

"Yeah," Riley replied quietly, smelling of body wash and shampoo. He eyed me as I went to the drawer and pulled out the meds he needed to take. I opened the two bottles of Clonazepam and Naltrexone and tapped out two pills, and then went into my room to my dresser and opened the top drawer where Edward had hidden the morphine. When I opened it, I frowned.

"Fuck!" Spinning, I left the room and went back to the kitchen, holding the small pill bottle. Riley was staring at the table when I walked in, refusing to meet my eyes. "What the fuck?" I asked him, shaking the half empty bottle in his face.

"What?" Edward asked, sipping his coffee.

Keeping my eyes on Riley, I answered Edward. "There are pills missing. He took three extra ones." Edward sighed. "What did you do with them? Did you take them all already?"

Riley's silence was his answer and I ran my hand through my hair, trying to calm down. "Rile, we're trying to help you, but we can't if you're going to go behind our backs and do shit like this." I placed the Clonazepam and Naltrexone on the table for him. "Take those, no morphine until after lunch."

His shame quickly disappeared and he glared up at me. "Don't fucking tell me what to do. You don't know shit, asshole. Fuck you and your fucked up childhood," he seethed. "You and fucking wizard can go to hell."

"Rile-" Edward tried to interrupt before it got heated but it was too late. The lack of drugs flowing through his bloodstream had already sent Riley over the edge.

"Fuck off," Riley began spewing venom. "I don't want someone who can't even walk out of the fucking closet telling me what to do. I might be a fucking addict but at least I don't hide who I am. What would your dear old dad think of last night, huh, Edward? Seeing you suck a whore's cock like it was your last meal?"

Edward's eyes narrowed at the hateful words, but he remained calm, never giving away the thoughts in his head. Shirtless and with bed head, he just stood there and took the abuse.

Riley spun to me, his eyes wild, then reached for the pills on the table, popping both into his mouth and swallowing. "Fucking happy now, asshole?" As fast as he could, he left the kitchen. A minute later Edward and I both jumped when Riley's bedroom door slammed.

"He needs rehab," Edward said quietly.

"I can't afford it, and even if I could, he's not going to go."

"It's only going to get worse," Edward said, stepping closer to me and putting his forehead to mine.

I hoped he was wrong.

But he wasn't.

The rest of that day was touch and go, Riley came out of his room to take his pain pills on schedule, but other than that, he stayed in his room all day. Edward and I spent the day on the couch watching movies, his body in constant reassuring contact with mine. When I kissed his temple and pushed him away, he sighed.

"Do you have to?" he asked and I nodded. After showering and changing, I knocked on Riley's door and told him I was going to work. He told me to have a good time getting my brains fucked out. I kissed Edward, promising to be back as soon as possible.

"You sure you're okay with him?"

"We'll be fine. I can handle him," he assured me.

After one last kiss, I left and met Aro downstairs. He made some small talk on the way to the client, catching me up to date on gossip I didn't care about. When we pulled up in front of Mr. Jones's house, I almost didn't get out, but then Aro opened the door, and out of habit more than anything, I got out and went inside. One blow job and a teacher-student fantasy later I left, unable to wait to get home and shower the stench off me.

The apartment was quiet when I entered. Tossing my keys on the table, I slipped my jacket off and loosened my tie. The living room was empty and I didn't hear the shower running. Walking into the kitchen, I saw broken pieces of plates on the floor with shards of glass, cut chicken and vegetables, and a frying pan. Panicking, I turned and ran down the hall and pushed Riley's door open, seeing them in bed together. Riley was on his side facing me with his eyes closed while Edward spooned him from behind. Riley was shirtless but in pajama pants, his incision no longer covered up and the angry red flesh was bumpy and held together with fine stitches. The dark bruises on his body had turned into ugly shades of yellow and green, but seemed fainter than before. Edward was dressed in cotton pants and a tee shirt, his arm protectively around Riley's middle. Edward lifted his head when the door opened and looked up at me sadly.

"You okay?" I mouthed and he nodded. "I'm going to shower." I pointed down the hall and he nodded again.

By the time I got out, Edward was out of Riley's room and sitting on our bed, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. I came in wearing nothing but a towel, but sex was the last thing on either of our minds.

"What happened?" I asked, kneeling in front of him with my hands on his thighs. He dropped his hands from his face and I saw the agony in his eyes.

"He just went off, Jasper. I was cooking dinner and he came in completely naked. He walked up behind me, kissing my back and neck, reaching around and trying to stroke my cock. He told me if I gave him what he wanted, he would make me feel better than I ever have. That he would do anything I wanted, that he would do it better than you. At first when I refused, he just tried harder, and fuck, Jasper, he doesn't take no for an answer…he is hard to refuse."

I sighed, "I know."

"So, he kissed me, and…touched me. Course, my fucking cock loved it and I was as hard as rock. He pinned me to the counter and was about to suck me when I told him no. Pissed, he stood up and told me I was just your fucking puppet, that I couldn't see what was going on right under my nose, that you had me wrapped around your finger…all these horrible things. When I still didn't give him anything, he turned around to the table and wiped it clean, just pushed the dishes and glasses right off it onto the floor. Then before I could stop him, he grabbed stuff off the counter and threw that."

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry," I apologized and put my head to his.

"He ripped his bandage off, and then went to move again and just fell to the floor in pain. I got him to the bathroom, cleaned him up and then brought him to bed." He moved his arms and I laid my head in his lap, exhaling when I felt his hands in my hair. "How was work?" he asked quietly.

"Baby," I shook my head. "Let's just go to bed. I want to hold you." Standing, I pulled the towel off and watched as Edward undressed, leaving his clothes in a pile next to the bed. Lying on my side, I waited for Edward to join me. Facing me, he put his hand on my hip, his thumb stroking the protruding bone.

"We need to talk," he whispered, the tone of voice immediately putting me on alert.

"About?" I choked out.

"Us. Our future." I was relieved to hear the word 'our' in there, but my heart still raced. He lifted his hand from my hip and ran it through my hair. "The merger is done," he blurted out.

"What?"

"The merger. It's done. We finished last time I was out here. All those late nights I had were the contract finalizations and signings," he said softly.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I don't have any work related reasons to be in Seattle right now. It means I lied to my father when I said I did. It means…it might be awhile before I can come back."

"But you_ can _come back, right? On the weekends?" I asked nervously.

He gnawed on his lip before finally nodded. "Yeah, but not as often, love. I can't explain to my family why I'm gone every other weekend. They're going to get suspicious, if they aren't already."

"You could tell them the truth. Come out, tell them that you met someone, that you have a boyfriend in Seattle," I suggested, my eyes staring into emeralds so dark I got lost.

"I can't. Not…not yet," he murmured, looking away. There was a long silence, the only sound was our mutual breaths as we thought about what he was saying. "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered before pressing my lips to his. When I pulled away, I stared at him, the long lashes, tinted cheeks, and strong jaw, committing each feature to my memory, even though I knew there was no way I could every forget what Edward looked like. "How long until I see you again?"

"Probably a few weeks, maybe closer to a month," he admitted.

"I can do it if you can," I challenged, trying to smile. The time apart was going to kill us both, neither of us could breathe properly without the other nearby, but if it was what we had to do, we would find away to survive. "We can webcam and talk on the phone right?"

"Of course," he nodded. Sighing in relief, I kissed him again and that was how we fell asleep, completely wrapped up in each other, our lips practically touching.

On Tuesday morning Riley was up before us again. Edward and I lay in bed listening to Riley clean up the kitchen, then shower. As soon as the water shut off, his door closed and we got up. Edward started breakfast for us while I went to talk to Riley.

"C'm in," he said behind the closed door. Pushing it open, I found him standing naked in the middle of his room struggling to put a bandage on his incision. He looked up when he saw me.

"They told me I need to keep it covered for a week and somehow my bandage came off last night and now I can't get a new one on and I don't know what do to because my hands won't stop fucking shaking and my heart is fucking racing and I hurt every fucking where…" he ranted but his voice was quiet, humbled and worried.

Walking over to him, I grabbed his wrists and pulled him to the bed where I sat down on the edge and moved him between my parted knees. I took the bandage and tape from his hands. "Lift," I said and he lifted his casted arm as high as he could. Gently, I inspected the healing flesh and then put the gauze over it, pressing the tape down on all the sides. He lowered his arm when I was done, and then looked down at me.

With his other hand, he cupped my cheek. "I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what happened."

"You wanted drugs."

"I think I said awful things to him, but I can't remember what," he admitted, his eyes never leaving mine.

"He understands."

"I tried to fuck him, angel," he told me. Leaning forward, I kissed his abdomen. He moved closer and my hands went to his hips, supporting him while we just held each other. Even though he was naked, his cock only inches from my lips, there was nothing sexual about the closeness.

"Breakfast is almost ready," Edward announced with a light knock on the doorframe before quickly leaving. I left Riley alone to dress and I went to the kitchen, wrapping Edward in my arms and kissing him before sitting at the table. Riley entered and went right to Edward, loosely clinging to him.

"Sorry, beautiful, I didn't mean any of the shit I said, I swear."

Edward glanced at me, then kissed Riley's cheek. "I know. Why don't you eat breakfast," he told him and Riley sat at the table and took his pills without complaining. I tried to ignore his shaking hands.

After breakfast, Riley went back to his room and Edward did a few things on the computer. I picked up my phone and saw a three text messages from Peter. Glancing at Edward, I moved down the hall and then opened them.

_Just thinking about you, hope you and Riley are doing ok. Miss you._

_Let me know how things are going. I miss you, love you_

_I'm worried about you._

Guiltily, I replied._ We're ok. Riley is having a hard time but I think the meds are helping. He wants the morphine pills. I miss you too_

It wasn't a lie.

Less than a minute later I received another text. _Call me if you need help or have questions. I'm always here for you, babe._

I sent_ I will, thank you for everything _

Tucking my phone in my pocket, I knocked on Riley's door and entered when I heard his muffled reply. He was lying on his back on the bed, his arms folded under his head, his eyes only opening to see who it was when I closed the door. I lay down on my side next to him, my hand going to his lower abdomen, sneaking under his tee shirt to his warm skin. Curling my arm under my head, I stared into his half open eyes. There was way too much sorrow in them for someone so young. I'd seen most of the things he had, I knew the sting of rejection from parents, I knew what it was like to be raped, used, thrown away and beaten. All those experiences, while we had gone through them separately, we shared.

"You okay?"

He shrugged, not even bothering to reply, but his eyes never left mine. "Why are you hiding in here?"

I broke the gaze. He knew me too fucking well. "I'm not hiding," I lied. "I just…I just got a text from Peter and I needed to wait a few minutes before going back to Edward."

"He really loves you," he announced softly.

I didn't need to ask if he meant Edward or Peter.

"He told me. He said he wanted to take you to Paris and give you the world," he continued without prompting. Each word was a knife into my heart, a reminder of the pain I had caused Peter, and of the guilt that I carried around because of it. "Why not him?"

"I don't know, Rile. I can't explain it. Peter's wonderful, he's perfect, but when I'm with Edward…everything is just different. It sounds stupid, but things are clearer, brighter. My body just hums when he's around and hurts when he's not." Riley didn't acknowledge that he even remotely understood what I was trying to explain.

"Are you going to tell Edward?"

"About Peter?"

"Yeah, Peter, James, all that shit."

"No, and neither are you. He doesn't need to know, Riley. It would only hurt him."

"No full disclosure?"

"Why? What would I tell him? I was in deep with a pimp, I needed help, and I went to the one person that could help me, and oh, he happens to be a former client that's in love with me? Edward would get nothing out of it but pain. I don't want to hurt him anymore. It's done. James is done, Peter is done."

"Is he?" I swallowed at Riley's narrow eyes. If anyone could call me out on my behavior, it was him. He barely had to say anything and he could make me feel like shit. "You kissed him at the hospital. That didn't look too done to me. What if he calls the Service for you?"

"He won't."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, he won't use the Service for me, not after what's happened."

"And the kisses?" he pushed.

"They were just thank you kisses. I was just relieved he was okay. You know how we work," I reminded him. Sex was our tool, our language, and we used it to communicate. He watched me with his tired eyes until he finally sighed, his breath whispering over my face, and nodded. He knew exactly what I meant. "What else did you guys talk about?"

"His family. He told me stories about growing up in Texas and being a cowboy. We watched some TV, he asked about working the streets, he asked me about you."

"What about me?"

"Just stuff like what you were like when we first met. Had you always been so protective, were you scared, stuff like that. When the doctors came in and told me I could definitely leave the next morning, he asked if I had clothes to wear and I told him mine had been ruined. He made a phone call and an hour later a girl walked in with a bag of clothes. He just said it and it happened. It was kinda amazing actually."

"Yeah, he's kinda amazing," I smiled.

"But so is Edward," Riley said for me, and I nodded.

"So is Edward," I agreed. Beyond his control, Riley's eyes fluttered closed. Once I was sure he was asleep, I rolled off the bed, left my phone in my room, and returned to Edward.

That night, I left Edward and Riley alone again when I left for work. We'd barely seen Riley all day but when I went to leave, he came out and sat on the couch. He looked worse than before, pale and just empty of life. I kissed his head and he moved away, never once looking at me. Edward followed me to the door.

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine. He's fine," he assured me. I kissed him, said goodbye and left. I had two clients an hour apart, and when I got home about midnight Edward was asleep on the couch, but woke up when he heard me.

"Hey, everything okay?"

"Yeah, he ate two bites of dinner and went into his room, I haven't seen him since," he replied, his voice weary.

"What is he doing in there?"

"I don't know. Thinking, sleeping? He's sinking into a depression I think, which is to be expected."

I took off my jacket and tossed it on the chair, and then loosened my tie. "I'm going to shower. I'll meet you in bed."

Edward was naked and lying on his back when I walked into our bedroom. When I turned to put the towel in the laundry, I heard him gasp. I'd completely forgotten.

"Your back," he mumbled.

"It's nothing," I said, quickly turning out the light so he couldn't see the long, red marks on my flesh.

"Someone hurt you," he growled. I walked to him in the dark and climbed into bed.

"It doesn't hurt. I'm fine."

"What? It's just part of the job?" he snapped.

"Actually, it is. It's not a big deal." Honestly, it happened all the time. A guy would get too caught up in the fucking and scratched or bit me, as long as the marks weren't permanent, it was completely allowed.

Edward moved into my arms, his body tense until I kissed his neck and ran my tongue along his shoulders. A shiver went through him and I heard a quiet moan. Turning in my arms, he smashed his mouth to mine, roughly at first, then easing into a long, lingering kiss. I rolled him onto his back, moving on top of him and spreading his legs. As I kissed down his neck, he begged for my cock and I nodded against him.

We spent the next several hours making slow love until we came. Exhausted, we passed out in each other's arms.

The noise was quiet, muffled, but I definitely heard it. Lifting my head, I saw Edward sleeping soundly next to me and I wanted nothing more than to snuggle back into his warm, naked body, but I heard it again and sighed. Easing out of bed to not wake Edward, I grabbed some pants off the floor and went toward the door. The hall was dark, Riley's door was still closed, and I stood there a minute, thinking the sound must have just been my imagination.

"Damn it," whispered a voice from the living room. Turning, I walked down the hall and flicked on the light. Dressed in the clothes he had worn home from the hospital, Riley was at the door with his hand on the deadbolt.

"Going somewhere?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest.

"Fuck off," he growled, sliding the bolt open.

"Don't do it, Rile," I warned.

"Why not? Give me one fucking good reason why not!"

"Because you'll die, if the drugs don't kill you, James probably will. Hell, he thinks you're dead already."

"You said that was over," he smirked like he'd already won the game we were playing.

"It is, but if you go out there, it's his territory."

"So I'll go someplace else," he shrugged. "I don't really give a fuck where I get the shit from."

"Don't," I begged.

"Why not?" he challenged again, his eyes darting around us for escape. It'd been a long time since I'd seen him so desperate for a fix.

"Don't fuck up this chance to get clean."

"I don't give a shit about being clean, that's you and Beautiful that care, not me. This is my life, Jasper, always has been. You can't fix me. Just let me go."

"No."

"Fucking stubborn as fucking hell!" he sneered, his hand turning the knob. "I'm leaving." He opened the door and I lunged forward, slamming it closed and yanking his hand away from it and spinning him around. I had always been stronger than Riley, and his injured body was no match for mine.

"Jesus fucking Christ, watch it," he yelped. I slammed him up against the closed door, my hands fisting his tee shirt, my knee jammed between his thighs.

"You want to fuck up again? You want to go out there and be fucked and raped by anyone? You really want that? You want to starve and sleep in abandoned buildings? Do you want to die?" I growled at him, my face only inches from his. He squirmed, ignoring the pain that pierced his body. Riley knew how to fight, just like I did, and I knew he was thinking about how much damage the cast on his arm would cause if he hit me with it.

"I don't care!" he screamed back, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

"Well, I fucking do care. I've invested a shitload of money into keeping your ass alive, I'm not going let you throw it all to hell now."

"Just let me go," he sighed, the first tear rolling down his cheek. "You're better off without me anyway. Just go be with Beautiful and leave me alone."

I was shaking my head before he was even done speaking. "No. I'm not leaving you alone. Don't you get it?"

"Get what?" he sighed, still struggling against me.

"I can't do that because I fucking love you."

I didn't hear Edward walk up behind me, but I saw Riley's eyes glance over my shoulder and I knew he was there. Riley's haunted gaze returned to me, his eyes empty of the life that normally burned so bright in him.

"I'm not letting you leave. We both know I'm stronger and faster than you. If I have to watch over you every fucking second, I will, but you are not fucking stepping one foot outside this apartment," I told him, my voice much quieter than before.

He collapsed against me, letting me support all his weight as he wrapped his arms around my neck and clung to me, burying his head in my neck. Sobs wracked his sore body and I ran my hands down his back, trying to soothe him. Edward moved closer and I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Do you need anything?"

Shaking my head, I replied, "No, I'll be into bed in a few minutes."

He nodded and kissed my cheek before stroking Riley's hair and then turned back to the bedroom. Holding Riley, I lowered us both to the floor, leaning against the door with him curled up in my lap. When he cried harder, I held him closer, whispering promises and words of encouragement in his ear. Closing my eyes, I rocked us both, swaying back and forth to music I couldn't hear until his body finally went limp in my arms. Resting my cheek against his soft hair, I embraced him tighter until I could feel his heartbeat against me, and I let my own eyes close.

"Hey," Edward whispered. My eyes were heavy and thick, my entire body was stiff and sore. Prying my eyes opened, I saw Edward standing in front of me with a mug of coffee. "You okay?"

I was still on the floor and Riley was still sound asleep on my lap. His head was on my shoulder, his casted arm across his middle while his other was captured between us.

"Yeah," I replied. "Sorry I didn't make it back to bed."

"It's okay," he shrugged.

It wasn't though. Edward and I were living on borrowed time and each second, much less a night, we spent together was precious. I didn't want to waste any of them.

But Riley had needed me.

The night had been spent soothing his sobs, easing his fear, convincing him his life was worth living even when he begged me to just let him die. Sometimes I think he believed me and other times I felt like as soon as I let him go he was going to run.

"Do you need help?" Edward asked, motioning to Riley's motionless body. I nodded and Edward crouched down, brushing his fingers down Riley's tear stained cheek. It took a few moments before he woke, almost smiling when he saw Edward. He helped Riley up, leading him like child down to his room. I stood, twisting out the kinks before following them down the hall. We stripped Riley and put him into bed before heading to the living room. We sat side by side on the couch, my head on Edward's shoulder, his hand on my thigh.

"It's going to be okay," he tried to sound confident.

"I hope you're right."

For the next two days, Edward and I watched over Riley. He ventured out of his room only to take his pills and shower. Barely eating, he would instead chose to lay on the couch with Edward, in the usual position of his head in Edward's lap while Edward played with his hair. Riley withdrew from us a bit more each day, rarely speaking. There was no spark, no sexual innuendos, he never once hit on his Beautiful.

It was a ghost of the boy I'd known for two years.

I knew he was battling something inside him, demons that yearned for the drugs, telling him how much he needed them to survive, that Edward and I were just slowly killing him by denying him what he craved more than anything. I only hoped he had the strength to fight the war that waged inside him.

While Edward was cooking dinner, I went to check on Riley and found him in the bathroom with a nail file trying to cut off his cast, telling me he was itchy and the bugs were getting him. I took the file from him and put it away, and then led him to the table for dinner. At night, I went to work, leaving them alone, and I returned to find them on the couch or in Riley's bed. Then I would shower and meet Edward back in our room. We were both beyond tired, but we made love anyway, the need to be as close as possible for the little time we had left overwhelmed our exhaustion. Once Edward was asleep, I climbed out of bed and went out to the couch, propping my feet up on the table and laying my head back. I wasn't going to chance not hearing Riley trying to escape again.

On Friday night, I arrived home late and found Edward sleeping alone on the couch, on his stomach, shirtless with his flannel pants low on his hips exposing the dimples above his ass. Not bothering to shower, I stripped right there in the living room. Lying on top of him, I ground my cock into his clothed ass. He woke up releasing a long moan when my weight settled on him. Reaching between us, I yanked his pants over his ass and forced my cock between his cheeks. There was an urgent need to take him, claim him, stirring inside me.

"I want to fuck you so hard," I murmured in his ear, nuzzling my nose along his jaw until he turned his head. I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth. When he returned the kiss with the same passion, I broke away panting and stood up, going to my desk for a condom and lube. By the time I returned to Edward, I already had the condom on and was rubbing the lube along my erection. Edward took off his pants and got onto all fours on the couch, presenting himself to me. I poured some lube on his ass, quickly inserting two fingers to prepare him. His body tensed as he impaled himself on my fingers, moving his entire body back and forth. Unable to wait any longer, I kneeled between his legs, pushing into him in one smooth, steady thrust. He hissed at the intrusion, his ass clamping around my dick to force me out even as I drove in deeper. Sliding out, I left only the head inside him, and I looked down to where our bodies were so intimately connected, to where my cock entered his pale ass.

"What do you want, baby?" I asked, running a hand down his back. "Tell me."

"I want you to take me, fuck me," he moaned, pushing his hips back toward me.

The need in his voice stole any control I had and I began slamming into him, gripping his shoulder for leverage. Uncontained grunts floated in the air around us, along with the scent of our desire as I pounded into him. His body eagerly accepted every fierce thrust of mine, and I draped myself around him, wrapping around his waist as I kissed the curve of his back and then sank my teeth into his soft flesh, my hips never ceasing the knifing thrusts. Edward's head hung low between his shoulders and he whimpered with each slap of our skin.

"Fuck me, love, fuck me hard," he begged roughly.

"So fucking tight," I groaned, my cock throbbing for release as the coil began to build in my belly. I knew he was there watching before I even lifted my head from Edward's back. I sensed him nearby, but I couldn't stop fucking Edward.

Riley stood at the end of the couch, completely still and hard, watching us.

Riley had seen me fuck other people before, he'd seen me blow Edward, and had even felt the talent of Edward's mouth, but he'd never seen Edward and me so wanton together. When I looked up, I saw his eyes glazed over with lust, but there was awe in them as well. It wasn't about the sex he was witnessing, it was the connection that went with it. Even if Edward and I were fucking in the most carnal and primal way, we were still making love as slow and sweet as ever, and that was what stilled Riley.

Edward felt my body shift and lifted his head and saw Riley, his chest heaving with shallow breaths. "Don't…stop…" Edward cried out between grunts.

I knew he was close to coming, and having Riley watching us only heightened his excitement. Riley's eyes held my gaze as my hips snapped into Edward. Transfixed, we stared at each other. Finally he let his eyes drop to Edward, who was still watching him, his back arching demurely as he accepted my cock again and again.

"Such a slut," I mumbled against his shoulder as my cock glided in and out of his hole. "Fucking close."

One deep thrust and I tapped his gland, feeling his entire body convulse beneath me. "Fuck!" he screamed loudly with no inhibition. "Gonna come!"

I drove into him again, and while his eyes were on Riley, Edward came hard, his cock exploding onto the couch below him, his warm cum splashing onto to the leather as his ass clenched around me.

He'd come without ever having been touched.

Dropping my forehead to Edward's back, I gulped in air as the coil sprung and my cock twitched and jerked and emptied inside him. My orgasm hurled through me, coating every tired muscle and lulling my body. When I felt the last of my cum leave me, I slowly lifted my head, expecting to see a smirking Riley stroking himself and waiting for his turn.

But Edward and I were alone.

We went into bed and I watched Edward fall asleep in my arms, then I kissed his head and went to the couch while parts of my heart slept in both rooms down the hall.

Before sunrise Saturday morning, I crawled back into our bed, snuggling up to Edward's body, and letting myself enjoy the quiet.

It was our last day together for a few weeks, possibly as long as a month, and I wanted to spend every second with him. I had been tempted to call into work, but I only had one client in the early evening and would be home by eight.

"You look so tired," Edward sighed, moving closer.

"I'm fine," I lied. "I should get up and make breakfast though." And after kissing him, I did just that. In the kitchen, I cooked some pancakes, bacon, and coffee, putting out three plates. Edward joined me, moving easily around the kitchen like it was his own. Hell, the entire place felt like ours, not mine.

"You should stay here. Say fuck Chicago and move in with me," I joked, but we both knew I wasn't.

"Love, my work…" he stopped, not even bothering to continue because we knew what he was going to say. Riley shuffled in and sat down, his hair was dirty and matted and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"You okay?" I asked him and he nodded with a yawn. Putting his plate in front of him, I kissed his head and then put his medicine next to his plate. His hand trembled as he reached for the pills and took them without complaint, then pushed his food away.

"Not hungry," he said, getting up and leaving. His door closed and I sighed.

"I don't know what else to do," I whispered.

"You're doing all you can," Edward replied, taking me into his arms. I was never going to survive without him around. The thought of being without him stole my breath and halted my heart.

We ate and then moved to the couch where Edward spooned me, his mouth and hands constantly on me. Riley only appeared when he came out and demanded his morphine, his eyes were wide and his entire body shook. Edward gave it to him and then Riley stormed off again, slamming his door.

"Why is he still shaking? I thought the pills would help with that?" I asked Edward.

"They are, but he's taking the MS Contin too, so that gets him high, then he comes down from it and needs a fix, meanwhile the other drugs kick in but they can only work so fast, and they're fighting the effects of the morphine he's taking."

We spent the day wrapped up in each other, eventually the sleepless nights caught up with me and my eyes closed as his soothing touched lulled me to sleep.

"You have to get ready," he said waking me. Regretfully, I got up, showered and dressed, kissing Edward goodbye before leaving. Aro was waiting downstairs, greeting me as I got into the car. We arrived at the client's and I performed my duties, pleasing him with fake cries of pleasure and coming on cue for him. I left feeling hallow, sitting in the back of the car, I stared out the window and wished for time to stop.

I stepped off the elevator, already undoing my tie and jacket so I could shower and join Edward in bed as soon as possible. I wanted every last second I could have with him.

"STOP!" Edward yelled as I stood outside my door. Panicked, I unlocked my door and threw it open.

"Shit," I muttered. Kicking the door closed with my foot, I ran over to Edward, who was sitting on the floor with a mostly naked Riley between his parted legs. He was holding Riley from behind, pinning Riley's arms against his sides as he desperately fought the hold, kicking his legs and thrashing back and forth as much as he could. Edward's face was hidden by Riley's head, but I could hear him trying to sedate a wild Riley with words in his ear, but it wasn't working.

Riley was beyond being reasoned with. "Let me the fuck go, you fucking closeted faggot," Riley screamed. I kneeled next to him and took his hands into mine, gripping them tightly.

"Rile," I said calmly. Wide, frantic eyes looked right through me, if I didn't know any better I would have said he was high. Tears poured from his blank eyes, freely flowing down his cheeks as he shook his head.

"Not real, not real, not real," he repeated and clenched his eyes closed.

"I'm here, Rile, I'm real."I squeezed his hands.

Slowly, he opened his eyes. "Angel?" he asked as if he couldn't see me.

"Yeah, it's me," I tried to smile as his eyes tried to focus on me. When he realized I was there, he stopped moving and I studied him, rubbing the inside of his good wrist with my thumb. Edward's steel grasp around Riley gradually loosened and Riley threw himself forward into my arms, slinging his around my neck and clutching for anything tangible as he buried his face into my neck. Edward's head hung low as he tried to catch his breath.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry, I didn't mean it, please don't make me leave," Riley cried.

"Sshhh, it's okay," I said, confused, but when Edward lifted his head, I knew exactly what Riley was sorry for.

A dark bruise had begun to form around Edward's left eye and the corner of his lip was swollen with dried blood gathered in the corner.

Riley had hit him.

"Oh shit," I murmured and Riley clung to me tighter, knowing I had just seen my lover's face. "Baby, are you okay?" I took one hand off Riley and moved it to Edward's face, running my finger over his lip and eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he sighed. "You got him? I'm going to go clean up." I nodded and Edward stood up, looking at Riley in my arms for a few seconds before heading to the bathroom.

"Rile?" He didn't respond but I felt his breaths on my neck. "I need to move, let's get comfortable, okay?" He nodded but never removed his arms from around my neck, I could feel his cast scraping my skin. Slipping an arm under his knees, I grunted and then forced myself upright, bringing Riley with me. Once I was balanced, I carried him down to his dark room and sat on the edge of his bed. "Let's get you into bed, sweetheart."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't call me that. I don't deserve it," his voice was muffled by my body.

"Course you do," I sighed and peeled his arms from around my neck. Shifting to the side, I forced him off my lap and onto the bed. "Are you hurt?"

"No." He refused to look at me, his eyes fixed someplace on the floor. Standing, I took off my jacket and tie, then toed off my shoes before joining him on the bed. Moving to the headboard, I sat back and tucked him between my legs, pressing his back to my chest and wrapping my arms around him, similar to how Edward had been holding him in the living room.

"What happened?"

He shook his head and sighed. "I was just lying on the bed and then I was like, I have to leave. I have to get out. I didn't even care that I wasn't dressed. I just walked to the door and started opening it. Edward stopped me and I turned around and…" he heaved forward, a sob suddenly escaping him. "Oh my God, I hit him, Jasper. I hit Beautiful."

"He's fine, Rile. Just a black eye and swollen lip."

"Only because…he…grabbed me…" he got out between heaving breaths.

Edward appeared in the doorway and Riley hid his face, ashamed to see what he had done. The blood from Edward's lip was gone but there was incredible anguish and conflict in Edward's eyes as he stared as us. I wanted to ask him to join us, but I knew Riley couldn't handle it yet. Instead, Edward tried to smile at me, then slowly turned and left. Riley continued to cry as I stroked his shoulders and arms, my nose in his hair as I hummed "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to him.

It was the only song I knew.

Riley turned his head and looked at me, his only friend, the only one he had trusted in four years. Tears streaked his pale cheeks as he sniffled. "I need to go, don't I," he stated rather than asked.

He didn't need to specify what, we both knew what he meant.

"I think so, sweetheart. I think it's the only way. I thought I could help you, but I can't," I admitted sadly. I had no fucking idea how I was going to pay for it, but I would find a way, even if I had to go back hooking on the streets when I wasn't working for the service, I would. If Riley was willing to go, I would find a way to pay.

"I can't…I can't do it with…out…you," he stuttered between raspy breaths.

Holding him tighter and putting my lips right at his ear, I promised with all that I was, "You won't have to, sweetheart."

Staggered, relieved breaths came from him as he tried to regain control. His body was hot against me, but he was shaking violently as he fought those demons that had ruled his life for so long. They coursed through his blood and seeped into his brain, planting thoughts of doubt and need. His battle would be easy if he gave into them, it was denying them that was wearing on his already battered body and soul. A soul that I knew was worthy of saving regardless of what he thought.

I couldn't save my parents, they had lost their battle.

I refused to let Riley lose his too.

I don't know how long we sat there in the dark room, him crying in my arms as his world literally fell apart with the thought of trying to rebuild a new one. Life on the streets high had been all he'd known for four years, it had wiped out any memories he had of a normal life before it. The streets were easy for him, something he knew everything about. Living a clean life was something so foreign it petrified him. I was asking him to take a leap of faith, to trust me and total strangers with his life, to know what was best for him. It was something I never would have done if given the choice, and yet I was asking him to do exactly that. He turned in my arms, sitting sideways between my legs so he could see me, then he lifted his good hand to my face, tracing my eyes and lips. Staring at me, he concentrated on his work, and it took effort for him to not look away, and while he tried to hold his fingers still, they trembled anyway. Finally, I saw his eyes clear, the storm in them lifting slightly as he sighed heavily.

"I'll go if you promise to not leave me. I'm going to need you, angel, more than I ever have, I'm going to need you," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"I promise. I need you too, Rile, that's why I'm doing this," I told him, putting my forehead to his temple.

"I know," he replied. "I also know that he's leaving tomorrow and you should go be with him tonight." Surprised, I lifted my head and looked at him. "He needs you too and you don't have much time. I'll be okay."

"You won't-"

"No, I won't try to leave, I swear."

"I need to be with him tonight, Rile, I'm sorry…"

"Don't be, just go. I'll see you in the morning." Leaning forward the inches that separated us, he brushed his lips across mine. "I love you, Jas."

"I love you too," I murmured into the kiss before the pull in my chest painfully reminded me of where I needed to go, who I needed in my arms. Without another word, Riley moved from my embrace and I got off the bed, almost running for the door, but I stopped before I left and looked back at Riley, so lost in the bed alone.

"I'll be right back," I said, leaving and going into my room. Edward was in bed, the blanket pulled up to his waist, his arms folded behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He looked at me when I walked in, and raised a brow when I grabbed something off the table and left again, promising to return. Back in Riley's room, I walked to his bed and held my hand out.

"You take him tonight," I said, and he gave me a weak smile before reaching up and taking Teddy from my grasp.

"I'll take good care of him," he said as hugged the bear and inhaled his furry scent. "He smells like you." When I didn't move, he looked up at me. "Go."

Turning, I left my best friend from my childhood and my current best friend and returned to my lover, the one who had stolen my heart from them both.

Closing the door behind me, I began undressing, leaving the clothes in a pile before turning off the light on the table and climbing into bed. Edward's arms were already open and welcomed me into them. We lay facing each other, the comforting weight of his leg resting on mine. Reaching up, I outlined the bruise marring his skin.

"I was in the bathroom and I heard him. I came out and found him at the door in only his underwear. When I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, he turned swinging. He got me twice before I was able to wrestle him to the floor. He didn't even try to seduce me, just thrashed and fought. I thought he was going to hurt himself," he explained without prompting.

"He feels really bad."

"He panicked when he realized it was me holding him and not you. He was frantic, almost like he was hallucinating. Nothing I said helped. You're the only one that can reason with him," Edward sighed.

"I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry," I apologized. "But this might have been a good thing because he's agreed to rehab."

Edward's eyes went wide and filled with relief. "Love, that's great."

"I don't know how I'm going to pay for it," I admitted. "How much will it be?"

"Depends on the facility and length of time. They can cost up to ten thousand a month. There's going to be his hospital bills on top of that."

"Shit," I muttered. Biting my lip, I looked at him, trying to decide how to word my next question, but he answered before I could ask.

"I can't, love. I don't know how I could hide that much money. It would leave a paper trail…"

"And paying for rehab for a whore wouldn't go over well at the family barbeque would it?" I said harsher than I meant to.

He barely shook his head no before mouthing, "I'm sorry."

Guilt immediately engulfed me. "No, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to ask. He's not your responsibility," I returned quietly.

"But he is yours," he assumed.

My eyes darted to his. "Yeah. I've got to help him as much as I can."

The corner of his lip curled up in a small smile. "He's lucky." My hand dropped to his shoulder and I moved impossibly closer to him. "Jasper, no matter what happens tonight, or tomorrow or next year, you've given me the best memories of my life."

"Me too," I agreed. "Hey, baby?"

"Mmm?" His fingers lazily rubbed my lower back.

"Make love with me," I whispered, leaning forward to capture his answer in a kiss.

Our bodies quickly reacted and we became a tangled mess of limbs, hands desperately seeking flesh and hair, lips tasting for one last time, eyes gazing and staring as we tried to remember every fucking single detail about the other. There was something else between the whimpers and moans of pleasure that filled the air, a heaviness that left us more breathless than ever before. The pull was there, aching and swelling with each touch, making me painfully aware of what was happening. Panting, I pulled back to look at him, silently asking him if he felt it too. He didn't need to speak or even nod, I saw it in his emerald eyes, the sadness hovering around the edges of lust. His fingers were in my hair, delicately separating my unruly, sweat-dampened curls, and I let my eyes drift closed at his affectionate gesture.

"So soft," he murmured before lifting his head to brush his lips across mine.

As we kissed, I slid my body onto his, flush from chest to hips, my knees resting on either side of his thighs. Gradually, the gentleness of his hands in my hair all but disappeared as he began to fist it tightly, tilting his head to deepen our kiss even more. My pelvis began to grind against his in slow, sensuous circles, our cocks rubbing together with each pass. Pearly fluid seeped from our cocks, slicking our lengths as it mixed and slid down them. Gasping, I broke our kiss and worked my lips down the column of his neck, reveling in his concentrated scent and salty taste. The loud groan he released from deep in his chest caused my hips to buck into him and I thought I would come just from the sensation of his fingers slowly raking down my back before settling on the curve of my ass. His strong hands kept my ass firmly in place as he pushed up into me, pressing our cocks tightly between us. I pulled back from his neck and rested my forehead on his, our hearts beating furiously against each other, our nipples pebbling from the constant skin to skin contact.

Curling my arms under his arms and up around his shoulders, I held him as I rolled over, putting him on top of me. My legs fell open and he settled in between them, the grinding of our hips never ceasing. His lips traveled over my jaw line, nibbling down my neck and over the contours of my shoulders before moving back up. No matter how much we kissed, our lips could only separate for so long before they found their back to each other like magnets. My fingers danced along his back, feeling the quivering of his muscles under his smooth skin. When I thought the next thrust would send me over the edge, I placed my hands on his hips and stopped him.

"Gotta stop, gonna come," I mumbled desperately against his skin, gasping for breath as he lifted his head slightly.

Looking down at me, he smiled. "And that's a bad thing?"

"Yeah, I want to be inside you when I come," I replied, tunneling my fingers through his hair.

"I want you inside me too," he said, reaching over to the table. He didn't even have to open the drawer; the condoms and lube were sitting on top. I moved from under him until I was propped up by the pillows. Ripping the condom open, he handed it to me and I put it on while he grabbed the lube.

"C'mere," I said, patting my thigh. Turning, he straddled my legs, resting his back against the pillow of my chest. I put my arms around him, positioning him until my cock was pressing against his hole. I held out my hand and he squirted lube on it and then tossed it aside. With my chin on his shoulder, I looked down the flat planes of his chest and abs, my hand following my eyes and landing on his cock.

"Fuck," he groaned when I wrapped my fingers around him and pumped him a few times, his hips reflexively lifting to meet my hand. Stroking him with one hand, I nudged his legs further apart with my own and eased my other hand between them, skimming his balls to the soft skin behind them. My middle finger teased his entrance and a powerful shudder wracked his body.

"Please," he begged, looking down at where my hands were so intimately possessing his body. At his request, my finger slipped inside him, gently readying him with small thrusts. Shamelessly, he writhed on me, his entire body beyond control with the only goal of seeking his orgasm.

Putting my mouth at his ear, I spoke to him. "You're so beautiful, baby."

"Say it again," he whispered.

He didn't have to specify what. I knew what he wanted to hear, it was exactly what I felt.

"Baby," I breathed across the shell of his ear. "You're my baby. Only you…"

My words both excited and relaxed him, and he fucked himself on my finger. Grinding down onto it, his ass brushed over my cock, teasing it until neither of us could take it anymore. Sliding my finger out, I gripped his hips with both my hands, shifting him until the head of my cock was pushing against his tightly puckered hole. Turning his head, he captured my lips in a ravaging kiss as he slowly impaled himself on my cock, sinking on me until my balls were against his ass. He reached up with one arm and wound it around my neck, burying his fingers in my hair as we both moaned into the kiss and he sank even deeper onto me.

Once I was fully inside him, we both stilled, the connection so raw and base and full of love that it overwhelmed us both. Our souls were no longer housed in our flesh and bone, they had escaped, taking our breath and dancing along each other, entwined to the point of there was no beginning or end. By making love, our bodies were seeking the solace that would soon elude our souls. We would have something to take and keep with us, something to remember on the lonely nights when we longed for each other so much it ached.

Placing his forehead against mine, he looked right into my eyes, into my heart, and vowed, "Only yours."

With those words he began to move on me, leisurely riding my cock. I felt every ridge inside him as he moved up and down. Releasing his hip, I wrapped my arm around his chest, crushing him to me as we kissed again. His fingers tugged on my hair forcefully, but I wasn't sure if it was because of his arousal or because he was trying to keep me as close as I was him. Under him, I languidly thrust up, content to have the love making last all fucking night. Edward's neglected cock bounced and swayed with our movement, liberally leaking precum onto his abdomen. We continued like that until the throbbing of our cocks was too much to ignore.

"Make me come, love," he whispered into the air we shared between us.

Moaning, I slid my hand down his sweaty torso until I felt the pooling liquid from his cock and ran my fingers through it. With a slick hand, I gripped his length and started stroking. Immediately his body responded, his hips bucking up as he began quivering. The cadence of his sounds played around us like the notes from his piano, and he wantonly begged me for more with tiny gasps and whimpers.

"That's it, baby, take what you need," I murmured to him as he did just that, sheathing my cock in his tight heat with each rock of his hips.

I wanted the night to last forever. I wanted to stop time, to never leave that room. I wanted him to never return to Kansas, I wanted him to stay in the Emerald City. I wanted to be with him…forever.

Always.

And while I wanted to do all those things, I was unable to stop from instinctively and impatiently thrusting into him. The craving for release far greater than any control I might have had, and I began to pant with need and want. No more languid strokes, my hand furiously pumped him, my lips were on his, our tongues swirling as our mouths remained opened while we gasped for breath.

"Look at me," I commanded softly. Opening his eyes, he gazed at me, and I saw me through his eyes.

I saw his excitement when he opened the door of his hotel and saw me for the first time.

I saw his lust when we made love in the bathroom, watching our bodies move effortlessly together in the mirror.

I saw his happiness in his freedom as we explored Seattle together.

I saw his sadness when he spoke of a phone call.

I saw his sympathy and understanding while sitting on a whale-shaped rock looking over the ocean.

I saw his love in every other second we were together.

In his eyes, I saw our past and present, and the hope for our future. It was beautiful and serene, happy and passionate, most importantly, it was full of love.

It was simply a life together.

"I love you…"

I wasn't even sure who said it, but it didn't matter, we were one regardless.

With his eyes fixed on mine, his body melding completely with my own, his lips swept over mine, he came. His body tensed, stilling as his orgasm crashed over him. He grunted, his hips jerking and his cock pulsing right before it released, matching the contractions in his ass. Emerald eyes darkened and filled with ecstasy, clouding over with euphoria before gradually returning to their brilliant green. I never moved my eyes from his, but I felt his warm semen dribbling down my fist as I continued to pump him. While still on his high, he crushed his lips to mine, riding out the sensations for as long as he could. Trembling, he pulled from the kiss, his breaths hot and moist on my face. The spasms of his ass brought my attention back to my throbbing cock.

"Need to come," I moaned, unable to stop the inevitable anymore.

Without further guidance, he began to move his body on me, sliding it up and down me, his ass completely engulfing my cock in a slow, tight rhythm each time. His own cock was still semi-hard when I released it and moved both hands to his hips to help him. The sweet fire began to build within me, my heavy balls tightening more with each thrust, a slow burn deep in my abdomen spread up and outward. As much as I wanted the release, wanted that rush of gratification through my entire body, I wanted to delay my orgasm, suddenly not wanting to be anywhere but inside Edward's ass. Even coming couldn't compare to the feeling of his muscles flexing around my cock, his supple ass slapping against my hips repeatedly, his body begging to milk mine for every last drop. Dropping his head back onto my shoulder, his eyes locked with mine.

As he had done with me, I showed him us through my eyes.

How much one night with him had changed my life.

How I had discovered the pull and what it really meant.

How I had trusted him with even the most horrific details of my past.

How he had taken a street whore and turned him into a man in love.

Months before there had been one fateful knock on a hotel door, neither of us expecting that the person on the other side would lead us down the yellow brick road of love, but it had happened. Nothing would ever change the time we'd had together, no one could ever take it away from us. Forever we would be a part of each other's lives, whether only in memories or in person, we would always be there for the other.

Letting go of his hips, I wrapped both arms around him, his as if holding him tighter could prevent our impending separation. It only took one final thrust up into his tight hole and I grunted through clenched teeth. "I'm coming, baby."

My orgasm tore through my body, sending it spiraling into the brief moment of rapture, my cock exploding streams of cum into the condom. With his head still on my shoulder, his body sated on top of mine, he leaned toward me and kissed me, drawing his breath from mine as my body twitched and flexed under him. We continued to kiss, and even as I felt myself begin to soften and knew I should pull out, I remained still, not wanting to lose that connection with him. I felt Edward's hands cover mine, lacing our fingers together.

"I didn't want it to end," I confessed softly.

"Me either," he agreed.

"Do you want to clean up?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"I don't want to move," he sighed. "I want to stay like this forever."

"Me too." I kissed his cheek. "I wish we could go back to the beach and leave all this behind but we can't, can we?"

"No," he sighed heavily, "but I would love to."

Finally, my limp cock slid from his used hole and I released his hand long enough to tug off the condom, tossing it onto the floor and immediately returning my hand, still sticky from his cum, to his. Together our hands roamed up his body, caressing every part, relishing in the feeling of his sweaty skin against mine. As much as it pained me, I knew our time was running out. I had developed an irrational hatred of clocks, each minute he was away from me dragged, and each minute he was within my reach raced by quicker than the one before it.

I could practically hear the tick-tock of the clock over the beats of my heavy heart.

I didn't want to know.

I had to know.

"What time does your flight leave?" I sighed, unable to hide the sadness in my voice.

"Around one," he responded just as sadly, running his fingers down my cheek to trace my lips before he pressed his mouth to mine in a light kiss. My heart would never get used to the image of him turning and walking away from me, leaving me with only a tingling phantom sensation on my lips from his kiss, and softly spoken promises to return soon.

"I hate it when you leave me," I said as the pressure around my heart crushed it with each word.

"I'm not leaving _you_, Jasper. You know that." His voice shook slightly as he tried to reiterate his declaration to me with his body by repeatedly placing wet kisses down my neck. It was those moments, those brief, tender moments that kept me alive when we were apart, that kept a small portion of my darkness lit, giving me some small flicker hope.

"Do you think of me when you're not here?"

"Every minute of every day," he replied with a velvety voice, his words a bandage on my torn soul. When I went to look away, he put fingers under my chin, forcing me to hold his gaze. "Love, I want you by my side all the time. If it were up to only me, you would be with me. Where I could touch you, kiss you, _see_ you."

While he intended his words to soothe my fear, they only made me realize how much of his life he hid from others. He might have loved me, he might have been my soul mate, but I was still his secret.

"You mean when you're not around other people," I said, edgier than I intended.

"Jasper, you have no idea how fucking wrong you are," he argued.

"You can't exactly bring your ex-hooker boyfriend to your company functions now can you? This isn't Pretty Woman, Edward. You are not my knight in shining armor here to save me from a lifetime of prostitution," I sighed.

"What if I was?"

"What are you saying?" I choked out.

"The other day you said I should stay here with you-"

"I know you can't, I was jus-"

"Jasper," he interrupted, taking a deep breath. "Come home with me."

"We are home," I reminded him.

"Home with me to Chicago. I'm tired of seeing you like this, this part-time shit. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every morning." Before I could reply, he spoke again. "I know what I'm asking. You've got a life here, and I'm asking you to give it up for me. I know that. But, damn it, I love you. I want you in my life every day."

Resting my temple to his, I sighed. "I love you too, Edward. But…"

"Riley," he answered for me and I nodded.

My thoughts drifted back to the boy in the next room, the battered body and broken soul of someone just trying to survive. I recalled the day on the docks when we had shared wine and rolls and he had told me about the fairy tales and Prince Charming, how he rode in on his white horse and saved the princess. After we had climbed the stairs of an abandoned building, we had lain on the cold floor and sought comfort in each other before we sold our bodies to the night.

That was my reality.

I had gotten off the streets and dressed nicer, but my life was still one of prostitution. It was all I knew, all I would ever know. No matter how much he tried, and I loved him for it, Edward would never understand my life, and that was okay, but he also didn't understand that he couldn't just bring me back to Chicago and expect our lives to continue together there.

Regardless of what Riley had told me about fairy tales, they weren't true.

"Baby, even if there was no Riley, you can't bring me home. What about your parents? Your work? This is the real world, not some fairy tale," I gently reminded him.

"Some fairy tales come true, love. Sometimes they do live happily ever after."

"And sometimes they get killed by the dragon," I countered softly. His eyes closed, resigned to my words. He knew I was right, he didn't want to admit it, but he knew.

"Don't give up on me, on us," he pleaded.

"I'm not," I whispered into his hair. "I won't. I promise."

"Because I'm not sure there is a me without you," he murmured so quietly I almost missed it.

"There is," I assured him. "And he is beautiful and intelligent, confident and loving."

"Tell me what I'm supposed to do without you? The thought of not seeing for a day hurts, but when I try to imagine weeks…." He trailed off, not even able to say the words.

"Just remember to breathe…" I said softly. "It's all I'm going to do." His body shook with a small laugh, and then he exhaled a long breath as if he was reminding himself he could still breathe. "Edward, will you remember me?"

On the surface it was a silly question, there was no way Edward would forget anything over the span of a few weeks or even a month, but we both knew I was asking so much more.

"Even fifty years from now I will still remember you," he promised, kissing me to show he meant it.

Then I said the words that stilled both our hearts. "Even when you fall in love again?"

Not if. When.

I loved Edward. It had taken me months to realize and recognize it, but I finally had, and it was because of that love that I wanted him to be happy.

With or without me.

If the promises to see each other soon didn't come true, I wanted him to move on. I wanted him to find love and cherish someone for the rest of his life. There were no words to describe how much I wanted that person to be me, but if it wasn't, if another man someday took my place, I wanted my Edward to smile and love.

But I also wanted him to look back on our time together and remember me, and how happy we had been, if only briefly. Even if we were apart for the rest of our lives, I wanted a piece of his heart to always be mine…because mine would always and forever be his.

Instead of arguing with me, instead of denying he would never love again, he simply sighed and let a tear roll freely down his cheek before he whispered, "I promise, even then."

It was all I could ever ask of him. To never forget me.

The room went silent except for our breaths, light and easy as we tried to fill each other with them, our souls moving back and forth between us. Our positions never shifted, he still lay on top of me, my arms around him, his hands on top of mine keeping me there. The weight of his body comforted me, assuring me that come morning he would still be here, his body roped with mine in our slumber.

In the pitch black, I held him and he held me, knowing that morning would arrive too soon, neither one of us wanting to succumb to the sleep that began to threaten us. I was thankful for the dark so that Edward couldn't see the tears that silently streamed down my face, although I was positive he knew there were there because I felt his own drip from his face onto my chest.

For one more night, he was mine.

"G'night, my sweet Prince Charming," I mumbled before falling prey to the sleep that wanted to claim me.

"**~~**"

Neither of us had wanted the sun to rise, but it had anyway, and no matter how hard I clenched my eyes, I felt daylight piercing them. Refusing to face it, I burrowed my head into the crook of Edward's neck. My body ached from being in the same position all night, the only change was that Edward had reached down and pulled a blanket up to partially cover us. Part of me wanted to open my eyes and drink Edward in, black eye and all. He was always so beautiful in the soft morning light, his eyes catching facets of sunlight, his hair mused from my hands, his lips still swollen from the night before. But no matter how beautiful he was, the rest of me didn't want to open my eyes and face him leaving in only a few hours. Keeping them closed a little longer, I nuzzled his jaw and sighed.

Even with him still in my arms, I began to feel alone.

I had been used to being alone, I had grown up that way. I took care of myself and didn't need anyone else. That had gradually changed when I met Riley and I had been forced to rely on him for the knowledge of living on the streets that I didn't have, something I would never do again without Riley by my side, and I didn't want to face a day without Edward by it either.

He stirred in my embrace, his head falling to the side, allowing me more room to explore his neck, inhale his scent, vowing to remember it. Outside the door I heard Riley moving around, then the toilet flushed and his door closed again. My heart broke for him. After coming to his revelation about his addiction the night before I had left him alone all night to battle those demons by himself. But I had to be with Edward.

I_ had_ to.

The sounds brought life to my sleeping boy and his hands, still lanced with mine, tightened. I placed a kiss on his heated flesh and he shivered. Taking a deep breath, I gathered the courage to open my eyes and face the day. Turning his head toward me, his troubled eyes blinked open. I gazed into them and tried to smile.

"Hey, love," he murmured sleepily.

"Hey, baby," I returned. "Sleep okay?"

"I always do when I'm with you. You must be sore though."

"Not really," I lied as I reached up and caressed his bruise. "How's your eye?"

"It's fine, doesn't hurt at all. Makes me look tougher," he chuckled, trying to light the mood.

"How are you going to explain to your family?"

The question caught him off guard for a second, like he hadn't even considered he would have to explain it to anyone. "I'll just say I walked into a door, or I could make Emmett proud and tell him I got into a bar fight."

I hoped for his sake they didn't ask too many questions.

"Is Riley okay?" he asked with concern.

"He was up a few minutes ago. I'll check on him later, right now I just want to be with you."

Leaning his head forward, he rested his temple against my jaw. "Do I even want to know what time it is?"

"No." But I told him anyway. "It's almost eight."

"Four hours," he sighed heavily, and I nodded. "Can we stay here?"

"For as long as you want," and I meant it. Not just for the four hours, but for the rest of our lives. "We should shower though." I knew there was dried cum on his abdomen and my hand, and we smelled of musky sex and sweat.

"Later," he answered.

"Later," I agreed. He settled into me, his weight pressing me into the pillows behind me, his legs between my parted ones as I encompassed him. We were silent a long time, then suddenly he began singing, quietly, barely a whisper.

"Somewhere over the rainbow  
Way up high,  
There's a land that I heard of  
Once in a lullaby."

I picked up where he left off.

"Somewhere over the rainbow  
Skies are blue,  
And the dreams that you dare to dream  
Really do come true."

We both sang the rest of the song, our eyes on our entwined fingers lying on his abdomen. When we finished, he turned to me, his eyes bright with moisture, and I drew him to me for a kiss, trying desperately to ease the mutual ache. He pulled away and glanced at the clock on my bed.

"I'm going to be late if I don't get ready," he said grimly. Nodding, I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed it before letting him go. Defeated, he climbed out of bed and held his hand out. "Shower with me."

Taking it, I followed him into the bathroom where he turned on the water. We used the toilet and then stepped into the steaming shower stall. Under the hot spray we kissed again, our slick, water covered bodies enticing life to our cocks. Without even meaning too, I ended up on my knees in front of him, his cock buried deep inside my mouth, sucking him until he cried out. Flattening his palm against the tiled wall, his other fisting my hair, he came and I swallowed him, lapping every last drop of him and savoring his potent flavor. Even before he had caught his breath, he was pulling me up and stroking my cock. Dropping my forehead on his shoulder and slinging my arms around his neck, I watched his hand work my dick, pumping it perfectly as my hips bucked toward him. His lips were at my ear, whispering dirty words mingled with ones of love. When I came, my cock twitched and emptied onto his abs and the shower floor, my body shuddering. Wrapping an arm around my middle, he supported me and I gasped and panted into his wet skin. After a few minutes of kissing, we finally got out and dried off, making our way back to my room where we dressed.

While I went to the kitchen to cook Riley breakfast, Edward went to the living room to use my computer. Once Riley heard us up, he exited his room and padded barefoot into the kitchen.

"You okay?" he asked me quietly, coming up behind me and winding his arms around my waist.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

He shrugged. "I'm okay I guess. What…what about Beautiful, is he okay?" There was a heavy shame in his voice as he asked the question.

"He's fine, Rile."

"He probably hates me, huh?"

"Of course not. He understands," I said, though I knew Edward would never truly understand Riley's addiction. "I'm making you some eggs and toast. You're pills are in the drawer."

Without argument, he took two pills, washing them down with orange juice right from the carton, and then sat at the table. When I only put a plate in front of him, he looked up at me. "Aren't you guys eating?"

"I don't think we really feel like it," I said, plopping into the chair across from him.

"He's going to be back in few weeks."

"Or a month."

"It's not forever."

"Then why do I feel like it is?"

He paused, eyeing me while he thought. It was a scrutiny I was used to with him, he called it his Jedi mind trick. I almost smiled when I recalled him trying to explain what that was. "There's something else," he finally said, assuming correctly.

"No," I lied. I couldn't tell Riley that Edward had asked me to go home with him, not after the promise I had made to Riley. He raised a brow but didn't push me for more. Riley could be very patient, unless it was for drugs or sex.

"How long until he leaves?"

"About an hour. He's all packed but has to get to the airport for security and stuff."

"You guys want to be alone? I can go to my room," he offered.

"No, that's okay. We're fine."

Just then Edward walked into the kitchen and Riley immediately looked down at his plate, hanging his head so much that his hair shielded his face and shame. Edward came up behind Riley and bent over, kissing Riley's head gently before moving to the counter for coffee. Through the wisps of hair covering his face, Riley's eyes watched Edward's movements, his hand nervously stirred his fork through his food.

Edward poured a mug of coffee and came over to me. Without his asking, I pushed my chair back and he sat on my lap, leaning against me as I kissed his shoulder. Riley was still quiet, hiding behind his curtain of dark waves. Edward looked at me and I moved my lips to his ear.

"He feels bad," I murmured.

"I might feel bad, but I'm not deaf," Riley quipped behind his hair.

"Riley," Edward said, taking a sip of his coffee. When Riley still refused to look up, Edward repeated himself. Finally, dark, soulful eyes rose from their fixation on the plate to meet Edward's emerald ones. A small gasp escaped from Riley when he saw the bruise coloring the skin around Edward's eye.

"Oh Jesus," Riley muttered.

"I'm fine," Edward assured him. "It's nothing."

Riley stared at him, his head still lowered like a scolded child. "I'm sorry, Beautiful. I didn't mean to."

"I know, it's okay."

Pushing his plate away, Riley finally lifted his head, his hair automatically falling away from his face. Edward kissed my cheek and then got up and went around the table to Riley. Standing in front of him, he waited until Riley moved enough so he could sit on his lap. Immediately Riley hugged him, pressing his lips to Edward neck.

"So sorry," he murmured and Edward just nodded. Reaching up, Edward tucked Riley's errant ends behind his ears.

"I want to see those pretty eyes before I go," he said with a kiss to Riley's forehead, enticing a slight smile from him.

We moved to the living room, all squishing onto the couch, Edward sitting on my lap with his feet on Riley's legs. Riley told Edward a few stories, and we even laughed a few times, but no matter how much I denied looking at the clock, I knew our time was quickly ticking away.

When the hour was up, Edward stood and walked into my bedroom to get his bag and jacket. When he returned, he set his bag down, placing a paper on top of it, and his slipped his jacket on. Riley and I got up at the same time and he shuffled along next to me, his steps still timid from his injuries. Edward waited with his arms extended and Riley walked right into them, his face hidden by Edward's shoulder while Edward put his mouth at Riley's ear.

"I'm proud of you, I know you can do it," he murmured so low I almost didn't hear him, but I knew he meant every word. Against Edward's shoulder, Riley nodded, his hand clasped around Edward's waist as he held him close for a long moment. After a stuttered sigh, Riley lifted his head, his eyes closed as Edward placed a kiss on Riley's forehead. "Good luck, Riley. Stay strong."

"Bye, Beautiful," he whispered, reaching up with a finger to the bruise on Edward's face.

Edward glanced at me over Riley's shoulder. "Take care of him for me, okay?" Edward asked, the words sounding permanent.

"I will," Riley promised and then without my permission, pressed his lips to Edward's in a soft kiss that Edward returned, his tongue even venturing out to trace Riley's lips before slipping between them. There were no moans or whimpers of desire, but the kiss was full of passion. Normally, I would have stopped them, but I let it continue until Edward broke it, his breath quickened and cheeks flushed.

Riley smirked, stole one last kiss, and whispered, "I'll use that to jerk off to in rehab, beautiful." Edward released Riley and Riley stepped back, dragging his hand down Edward's arm.

"Bye, Rile," Edward replied, using he nickname he had picked up from me.

"I'll leave you guys alone," Riley said and turned for the hallway.

Before he was even a few steps away, Edward and I crashed together, our bodies smashing with a thud as I lunged myself at him, my arms around his neck while his went to my waist. Our breaths were heavy on each other's necks as we nestled as close together as possible, clinging to each other as we both wished for more time and different circumstances. Then it was our turn to kiss, our lips meeting in a frenzy of tongues and moans, our bodies taking over for a few seconds and letting us enjoy the last moment together. Eventually, Edward loosened his hold on me, pushing me away slightly as he bent over and picked up the paper on his bag and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, unfolding it and scanning the printed paper. There was no mistaking the name of the airline at the top or my name under passenger.

"A ticket." When I furrowed my brows, he continued. "A plane ticket dated for a week from today. That should give you enough time to get Riley settled into rehab. If it's not, then I can change the date."

"Edward, I…"

"Please, don't say it, Jasper. Please," he begged with more than his words. His eyes bore into mine, the storm in them rising as he fought his emotions. "I will be waiting for you at O'Hare when you land and we can begin our lives together."

I couldn't say the words, I couldn't bring myself to end all hope and tell him that there was no way I could leave Riley, but even without saying the fateful words, something told me that he knew I wouldn't be there.

Instead, I said what was in my heart, what encompassed me more than the air I breathed. "I love you, baby," I whispered, putting my forehead to his, "so fucking much it hurts."

"I love you too, Jasper," he breathed and we kissed again until there was no more time left. "I gotta go, I'm going to be late. There's a car waiting downstairs." I nodded and felt the first tear roll down my cheek. "Don't cry, love. We'll see each other in a week," he smiled. "I'll let you know when I land in Chicago."

I exhaled, leaning into his palm as he swiped at the tears on my cheek. "Bye, baby. I love you."

"Bye, love."

Our lips met one final time before he released me and turned around. After slinging his bag onto his shoulder, he opened my door. Emerald eyes caught mine as he glanced over his shoulder one last time, a weak smile on his lips and love filling his eyes.

"Love you," he mouthed before stepping out my door and closing it behind him. The soft click of it had barely registered and I stepped toward it, the words to stop him getting caught in my throat and coming out as a choked whimper. The whimper turned to a sob that grew quickly into a wail. Sliding down the door, I collapsed onto the floor, dry sobbing and shaking.

Gentle hands coaxed me and then I was embraced by loving arms holding me close to a warm body and beating heart. He shifted until he was sitting and I was half on his lap, my face buried in his chest as I clutched desperately at him, releasing contorted cries while he tried to offer comfort. Determined fingers pried the paper from my hand and I was vaguely aware of it being forced from my grasp.

"Oh, shit," he murmured before enveloping me in his arms again and whispering in my ear, "Ssshhh, angel, I'm here."

It had been too brief. The goodbye, our time, our love…it had all been too fucking brief.

Edward was gone.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

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	34. Never Let Me Go

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Like with the last Jpov, this Epov is also split into chapters, although they are more uneven. The entire chapter is over 36k. This one is much less angsty than the last chapter and the next one. These two chapters, in part, go back in time to cover some events that have already happened, but we haven't heard from Edward since chapter 29, so bear with him while he tells his version of events. There is also a lot of his time in Chicago.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

"Can I touch him?" Jasper asked in a shaky voice

"Sure," I answered, moving closer behind him to see Riley in the bed. There was an incubation tube protruding from his chapped lips, bruises and cuts scattered all over his face and jaw, one eye was swollen almost completely shut, and his hair was dirty and matted with blood. Next I noticed the cast on his left arm and knew an incision lay high on the left side of his torso. And those were only the injuries we could see, there were many more hidden under the hospital gown and blanket. Many more dwelled inside his heart and soul, injuries not so easily healed by surgeons and bandages.

It might have been Riley lying in that bed, but he wasn't the boy I knew.

He was merely a battered body.

My eyes darted back to Jasper as he stood next to the bed, his hand covering Riley's as he bowed his head and let silent tears fall.

When we had arrived in Seattle, we had thought we would make love, maybe get some dinner, and then rescue Riley from the hotel. Neither of us ever imagined we would be standing in the ICU of a hospital watching Riley cling to life.

"You can talk to him. He can't respond, but he might hear you," I encouraged.

"I'm sorry," Jasper whispered barely audible to Riley.

I waited a few minutes, even going well beyond the five minute limit the doctors had given us. After Jasper's threats, I was surprised we hadn't been kicked out on our asses much less able to convince them to give us some time with the patient. I had turned on my charm, using my smooth voice and dropping a few hints as to who I was. They might not have been a hospital contacted with my company, but they damn well knew the Cullen name. Typically I wasn't an ass kisser, in fact it was usually my ass that was being kissed, but if it got Jasper in to see Riley then I would kiss as much ass as I needed. I had even managed to get a waiting room to ourselves for privacy while we were there.

"We have to go," I reminded Jasper gently.

The rest of our day was spent in the waiting room. Jasper's tears had stopped but his fear for his friend had not. I tried to comfort him, offering him hope while keeping it realistic. Riley was young, but his body had been weakened by malnutrition and drugs, add the fact that he had been beaten within an inch of his life and had crashed on the operating table, and his odds of surviving lowered drastically.

But somehow he beat those odds.

Each hour he survived, he grew in strength until they finally moved him from critical to stable.

There were so many questions I had for Jasper, but I asked none of them. Instead, I trusted him and held him, running my hands through his hair and coaxing him into a restless sleep. His body twitched and jerked on the couch as he fought a battle in his slumber. It seemed Jasper was always fighting a battle. His entire life had been a battle, from drug addicted parents to being raped to being homeless and a hooker. He'd had never had anyone stable in his life.

Until a shaggy haired streetwise hooker had taken him under his wing.

I didn't know much about their past, only the bits and pieces that Jasper had fed me over time, and of course, what had I witnessed between them. Whenever they were together, it was there. A simmering undercurrent of sexual energy and attraction, but it went deeper than that. There was a bond that had grown from and formed around the base physical attraction, one of unique friendship and trust. Watching Jasper in the hospital with Riley was like witnessing a mother wolf protecting her cub, he wasn't going to let anyone hurt Riley, or Jasper would die fighting them off.

It was that kind of loyalty I didn't think I could compete with.

It that kind of loyalty that gave Jasper the courage to ask me to help Riley, to help get him clean.

While I held Riley's fingers jutting out from the cast, Jasper stood across the bed from me holding Riley's other hand. Staring at the bruised face, I wondered just how someone like me was suddenly in a hospital room holding hands with a beaten hooker. The answer wasn't as obvious as I might have thought. There was definitely a sexual chemistry between Riley and me, and while Riley was probably able to manufacture that with anyone due to his work, I felt it was genuine, and fucking undeniable, with me. Riley had a way about him of convincing someone to do something they would have never imagined.

The first time we had met it was like he crawled inside the recesses of my brain and discovered my darkest fantasy. It was like he knew me without ever having laid eyes on me, and while it was unnerving, it was also mesmerizing. As we continued to interact I had discovered there was so much more to the boy than sex. He was funny, wise beyond his nineteen years, candid, and fucking honest to the point where it might hurt. There were no boundaries with Riley, sexual or otherwise, and I found myself admiring him for his lack of limits. He was what I never could be.

Completely free.

Getting Riley the drugs was unethical, not to mention illegal, yet I found myself actually considering it. Suddenly, it wasn't just Jasper that could help Riley, but I could too. It was providing him with money or a place to live, but it was all I was able to do. It was a risk, a slim one, to my career, my father's company, and providing prescription drugs to an addict went against everything I thought to be right.

But I was going to do it anyway.

My hands were shaking as I left Jasper in the waiting room and walked out of the hospital. Something about doing what was about to do while standing inside the hospital made it seem even more wrong. Outside the main doors, I turned left and walked down the sidewalk a few yards from the entrance. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I knew it had to be well before dawn in Chicago. Taking out my cell phone, I pressed the speed dial number and put it to my ear. My heart raced and my mind when blank when I tried to think of a way to explain what I was going to be asking.

"Hello," she answered sleepily.

"Bella?" I whispered, though I wasn't sure why because I was completely alone.

"Edward?" she asked, surprise breaking through her fatigue. "Is everything okay? Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, but I need your help."

"Anything," she said quietly. "You know that."

I hoped so.

"I need you to find out who we're contracted with in Seattle that would have some Clonazepam and Naltrexone on hand. I need to pick some up tomorrow, um, later today, before I return to Chicago," I told her, my eyes darting around me like someone would instantly know what I was doing if they just looked at me.

"Edward, those are fo-"

"I know what they're for," I sighed. "Can you do this for me, Bella? Please?" There was a long moment of silence as she debated her options of telling her boss to go fuck himself or helping. In the end, I knew she would help, but it was a matter of whether or not she could pull it off. It wasn't an easy task. "I can't do it from here, Bella, it has to come from the home office, you know that," I implored, hoping to sway her.

"Edward, I want to know what's going on before I agree to this. You know this isn't-"

"Yes, I know," I replied urgently. "I wouldn't be asking in the middle of the night if it wasn't an emergency, would I?"

"No, which is exactly what worries me" she replied. "I want to know what's going on."

Closing my eyes, I exhaled. I was standing outside the hospital in the cold and not really in the mood for lengthy explanations. "Bells, I swear as soon as I back I will tell you everything," I vowed, hoping my little used, but long known, nickname for her would help ease her mind.

"Everything?"

"Everything," I promised.

I heard her moving around and then the distinct sound of typing on a keyboard before she spoke again. "There's a clinic on Broadway that has some in stock, looks like they can provide you with about two weeks worth immediately. Anything more will have to be ordered. Will that be enough?"

"It's a start. Do you have the address?"

"It's seven-forty-seven Broadway, and they open at nine. I will call before then to make the arrangements. Can you get there this morning?" she answered in the professional tone I was used to hearing.

"Yes. Thank you, Bella, I owe you," I almost smiled.

"You more than owe me, I want details when you get back. My boss could fire me for this," she growled.

"Bella, I am your boss."

"Oh, right, well then my boss's boss," she altered.

"I gotta go, text me after you've made the arrangements."

"I will. Edward?"

"Yeah?" I had already started walking back toward the front door.

"Be careful, please."

"I will, Bella. Thanks. Bye," I said, waiting for her to hang up before I pressed end and went back upstairs to Jasper.

Later that morning, I left the hospital and took a cab to the clinic on Broadway. Bella had come through and had told them I would be by to pick up the drugs as a personal favor to a doctor at one of our contracted hospitals. She used her charm and wit and weaved a tale so intricate that they never questioned why I was coming to get the drugs in person. I walked into the clinic and approached the front counter. Once I introduced myself, I had the pills in my hand and a few people telling me to say hi to Bella. Amazed at my assistant's skill, I left the clinic and swung by Jasper's apartment to get my bag for my return flight to Chicago.

Back at the hospital, I went over the instructions for the drugs with Jasper, making sure he knew exactly what and how much to give Riley. Knowing Riley was going to get at least some help, Jasper's mood seemed lighter, he even smiled once. We hadn't been back in the waiting room long when the doctor stepped inside and said that Riley was conscious and asking for Jasper. Jasper bolted up and practically ran the doctor over as he left the room.

I walked down to the room and found Jasper where I knew he really wanted to be, at Riley's bedside holding his hand. Jasper reached up and tenderly pushed Riley's dirty hair back, speaking in a soothing voice when Riley murmured something I couldn't make out.

But there was no mistaking what Jasper said to Riley.

"Thank you for coming back to me. I love you."

Even before I heard Jasper say the words to Riley's unconscious body, I knew them to be true. I had just chosen to ignore it. The looks their shared, the extreme familiarity with each other's bodies, the way that they spoke about sex so casually, and sheer history of their shared life and mutual misery. Nothing but death would break what they had, and I knew that. The love Jasper had for Riley was obvious in the way he touched him, held his hand, and whispered to him, it was in the way he adamantly refused to leave his friend's side. If I wanted Jasper in my life, I had to accept their relationship, whatever it might be. And I was okay with that.

But I couldn't deny that it didn't hurt when I heard Jasper say those words to Riley only a few days after saying them to me for the first time.

Turning, I left and returned to the waiting room alone. When Jasper entered, he closed the door, jammed a chair under it, and joined me on the couch. Lying next to me, his body was warm and solid and shaking. Holding him to me with an arm around his middle, I nuzzled the back of his neck and sighed. I knew the heart inside him was aching for his friend as much as I knew it swelled with love for me.

"You love him," I said quietly.

"It's not the same," he whispered in the dark room.

Deep down I knew it wasn't. While I was attracted to Riley, and even felt the need to help him, he wasn't my soul mate. The man on the couch with me was. Jasper was just discovering love, it was new to him, an emotion with many facets. Riley was one of those facets.

I told him I understood, and I did. They were friends, and friends loved each other. After all, I loved Emmett and Bella. Jasper and Riley's definition of friendship was unlike any I'd ever known before, but it worked for them. Riley had watched over my boy on the streets, he'd kept him alive while Jasper did the same for him. In a way, I had Riley to thank for Jasper being in my life. It wasn't the love between them that worried me, it was the loyalty that brewed from that love.

Leaving Jasper alone to go back to Chicago was difficult. While he tried so hard to be brave, he was scared, it was evident in his troubled eyes as he asked me to stay. When I sighed and he knew it was time, his fear overwhelmed him.

"Don't," he begged.

His voice was trembling, his eyes were puffy and bloodshot, he was exhausted, and my heart broke for him. I felt like I was being torn away from him, but I was already late in returning to Chicago and there was probably going to be hell to pay. It wasn't unusual for either of us to not want the other to leave, but his words carried the worry I knew he felt about being alone at the hospital. It was my terrain, not his. I had already spoken to the doctors and made sure Jasper was to be kept informed on Riley's status and maintain the visiting rights after I left.

"Love, please, don't make this any harder."

"I'm sorry." We got off the couch and I drew him to me for a lingering kiss before putting my forehead to his.

"I'm going to miss you, I love you."

"I love you too," he gasped. "No matter what, I'll always love you."

There was something about him, something unsettling in the finality of his words that I attributed it to his worry about being alone. Releasing him, I moved the chair and picked up my bag. "I spoke to the doctors earlier, they have instructions to keep you updated, but you need to behave, okay? Tell Riley goodbye for me. I'll call you as soon as I land." I curved a hand around his neck and kissed him one last time. "You can do this, be strong."

"I will. I love you…always."

"Love you too," I whispered before opening the door and walking out.

Every time I left was more difficult than the time before it. I swear each time we were separated, a sliver of my heart was sliced off and left behind with him.

"**~~**"

I had been in the office less than ten when the door to my office swung open and I knew without looking up from the computer monitor that it was her. As soon as I had stepped off the elevators, I had spotted her but I had been immediately surrounded by associates with questions and updates. Patiently, Bella waited for them to clear before she pounced.

"Spill," she said, plopping into one of the leather chairs in front of my desk and crossing her legs. As always, she was impeccably dressed, even down the ballet flats she wore.

"I'm fine, thanks. Nice to see you too," I replied before finally dragging my eyes from the screen to see her sitting with her arms folded over her chest and a perfectly sculpted brow raised. Sighing, I leaned back in my chair. "Are you sure you really want to know?"

"No, but I'm asking anyway."

"Fine, but I'm not discussing it here. Lunch?"

"Sure."

"I'll swing by your office around noon."

Standing, she walked to the door. "Better be your treat." Closing the door behind her, she left me to my work, which didn't last long because my cell phone rang.

"Back in the windy city yet?" Emmett voice boomed.

"I am."

"Great. Dinner, you're place, I'll be there at seven."

"Emmett, I've got a shitload of work to do tonight," I half lied.

"Bullshit. Seven. See ya then," he said, hanging up before I could protest.

My long day had suddenly got a lot fucking longer.

After a few hours of conference calls, emails, and reading over a few contracts, I grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair and headed for Bella's office. When she saw me in her doorway, she picked up her bag and silently followed me out of the building. Connor, my driver, opened the door and we climbed in as I gave him the address of a bar and grill, the same one Emmett and I often ate at. It offered the privacy I was going to need.

We entered, and after flashing the hostess a fake smile, she waved me past the line of waiting people. "Mr. Cullen, so great to see you again." She gave me a flirty smirk before leading us to the requested table in the back.

"Do you always get your way?" Bella whispered in my ear on the way to the table.

"I wish," I sighed.

At the table, the hostess, handed us our menus and smiled at me again, telling me if there was anything I needed to be sure to ask her. Thanking her, I motioned for Bella to sit before I sat across from her. Once our drink order had been taken, Bella looked at me pointedly. I had to keep reminding myself that it was Bella, someone I'd known for years, someone our company trusted with important, confidential information. Someone I had already trusted to help me commit an illegal act.

"Whatever it is, Edward, I'm your friend first," she coaxed, sensing my anxiousness.

There was no calming my thundering heart. Exhaling slowly, I felt the words on the tip of my tongue, all I had to do was push them out of my mouth. It was so much easier said than done. My eyes were fixed on the cloth napkin I was twirling around my fingers as I said the words I had been afraid of admitting for so many years. The very words that could have such an impact on my future.

"I'm gay."

Her eyes didn't grow wide. She didn't gasp or jump back in shock, she didn't squirm, or throw anything at me. She did the last thing I had expected.

A satisfied smile crossed her lips.

Without glancing around us, she leaned forward slightly, then reached her hand across the table and covered mine, essentially stopping my nervous napkin wringing. Her skin was warm and soft.

"Now was that so hard?" she asked quietly.

Licking my lips, I eyed her warily. "You don't seem surprised."

Leaning back, she shrugged. "Because I'm not." It was my eyes that widened, and she started shaking her head. "No, don't worry. It's not obvious. It's not like you're waving a big rainbow flag," she explained, trying to alleviate my fears.

"Then how…"

"Simple. I work with you day in and out. I've watched you for the past few years. You don't think I've always wondered why it's me you bring to all the events when there are hundreds of girls for you to pick from. You always say it's because you don't have time or can't be bothered to find a date, but any straight guy would much rather take someone that they might have a chance of scoring with after. You never did."

"But if you thought that then everyone else must-"

"No, they just think we've got something going on. That I'm the one you're scoring with after."

I coughed, almost spitting out my water.

"I know, right? How cliché. The boss and his assistant," she laughed, then stopped suddenly. "Not that you aren't hot. I mean, I'd totally do you if you were into girls."

"Jesus, Bella," I growled, looking around even as the blush crept over my already heated cheeks.

"Oh come on, can't handle a little compliment?" The waiter returned with our drinks and took our lunch orders. I drank my beer in one long gulp, the golden liquid sliding down my scorching throat. "So now that we've got that out of the way, tell me what's going on," she hedged, sipping her red wine.

"There's someone," I began.

"Yeah, I figured that out already. I want details."

She wasn't going to let me get away with anything less, but there were some things I couldn't share. My history with Jasper weaved through my mind as I began to speak. "I met him in Seattle. He's tall and blond and beautiful," I sighed, blushing when I saw her knowing smile at the dreamy quality my voice had taken on. "We've been seeing each other for awhile now, and well…he…I…we're…."

"In love," she assumed correctly.

Relieved she had said it, I nodded. "Very much. Bella, I can't breathe when he's not around. I can't concentrate, eat, sleep. When we're apart, all I do is think about when I'm going to see him again."

There was a gentle smile on her face and she put her glass down. "Sounds perfect."

"It is except for…well, everything. I can't come out, he lives in Seattle, and…"

"And?"

Leaning forward, I motioned for her to come closer. When my lips were at her ear, I whispered, "He's an escort."

She jerked back, the surprise I had expected earlier finally in her eyes. I knew she had been expecting him to be a colleague or business associate. "Seriously?"

"Unfortunately."

"My prim and proper Edward is in love with an escort," she said aloud, almost as if she was trying to convince herself. "Is he why you needed the drugs?"

"No. Well, kind of. He has a friend, someone he is very close with who is an addict. The kid has no insurance, no way to pay for rehab. Jasper is trying to get him clean," I explained, neglecting to tell her about the beating.

"Jasper? Interesting name," she chuckled. "So the drugs were for his friend."

"Right. Jasper asked me to help, knowing I could get him what he needed."

"Not very fair of him to ask that of you," she said defensively.

"His friend…has sort of become a friend of mine as well," I said, gnawing on the inside of my cheek.

"Is he gay too?"

"Yes."

"Are you and he…"

I shook my head frantically. "No," I answered quickly. "He deserves a clean start. He's nineteen, his parents kicked him out four years ago when he came out. He needs chance to see what kind of future he can have."

"They kicked him out? That's awful."

"Yeah."

"Where does he live?"

"With Jasper." He would be soon enough.

"Will the drugs work?"

"Honestly? I don't know, but without rehab, they are his best shot," I sighed.

Our food arrived and Bella began to eat while I stirred my fork around in mine, my thoughts roaming back to Jasper. Other than a quick phone call to check in on him, I hadn't talked to him. He had sounded exhausted, his voice weak and quiet, and even though he tried to conceal it, I heard fear in his voice. While Riley had woken up a few times, I knew Jasper was still worried about him.

Bella ate, looking pensive as she digested what I had told her, not only was I gay, but I had an escort boyfriend who had an addict living with him that she had helped me supply with drugs.

"You okay with all this?" I asked.

She glanced up at me and took a bite, using the time to think about her answer. After dabbing the corner of her lips with the napkin, she nodded. "You're my friend, Edward. Yes, we're boss and assistant, but you know there isn't much I wouldn't do for you. I'm just…disappointed that you didn't trust me enough to tell me sooner."

She was right. For a long time, I hadn't trusted her as much as I should have. I questioned where her loyalties lay, but over the past several months, I'd seen something in her, something that I knew I could rely on when the time came.

The time had come.

"I do trust you, Bella. I trusted you when I called that night asking this favor, didn't I?" She shrugged, and I continued. "I can't risk my father finding out about me. The fewer people that know, the better. It would destroy him, the company, my mother's hope for planning a wedding and grandchildren. My father has given his life for his company, I can't do that to him."

"I'm sure if you tell him, he would understand."

"Yeah, right," I snorted. "Want to share the hallucinogens you're on with me?"

"He's not the devil incarnate, Edward. He's your father," she sighed. "You're his son first and foremost."

"He's my boss, and the father that spent a lifetime building his little empire who won't look highly on his son, the most eligible bachelor in Chicago, being gay and ruining his and the empire's reputation."

"Being gay doesn't have the stigma that it used to," she shot back.

"Maybe that's true in some places, but in our field? Come on, Bella. You know as well as I do what goes around these companies, especially those that make the HIV drugs. Remember what a PR nightmare it was for GeriCo when the one of their top execs got caught on a date with a guy?"

"It was a PR nightmare because their PR sucked. Ours doesn't, we've got the best. It would be different for you," she tried to assure me.

"This isn't something I take lightly, Bella. It's not just my life we're talking about."

"But it's your happiness," she said sadly.

"My happiness doesn't matter. My father's work, his _life_, does matter. Bella, please promise me you won't breathe a word of this," I begged.

"Edward, I love your father like my own. He gave me a shot right out of college when no one else would, but my loyalties are with you. I won't say a word," she vowed and I felt the weight slowly be lifted off my shoulders.

"Thank you," I sighed.

"I do expect a nice bonus though. Maybe a cruise or something," she suggested playfully.

"I'll see what I can do," I offered teasingly.

The rest of lunch was spent under the fire of her questions about Jasper, from the color of his eyes to our first date. I left out some information about his work and his past, but I told her about our trip to New Hampshire.

"So did you do it on the beach?" she grinned and wiggled her eye brows. Shaking my head, my cheeks flushed as images of topping Jasper flashed through my mind. As we spoke, I was amazed how easy it was to talk to her about Jasper, and how excited I was sharing him with someone that was important to me.

After lunch we got into the back of the car, and after I told Connor to bring us back to the office, Bella leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'm so happy for you," she murmured in my ear. "You deserve to be loved."

Blushing, I glanced in the mirror in time to see Connor wink at me.

"**~~**"

He shrugged his huge shoulders out of the jacket and tossed it over the back of my couch before he sat on it, his feet immediately going onto the table in front of him.

"So what did you make me?" Emmett asked, clasping his hands behind his head and looking up at me.

"I made takeout from Peking's," I replied with a smile. "Should be here any minute."

"I wanted a home cooked meal," he pouted.

"Then go home," I quipped just as there was knock on my door. Pulling out my wallet, I went to the door and swung it open. The delivery boy handed me the bag of food and I handed him the fifty dollars, telling him to keep the change. Feeding Emmett was fucking expensive. I closed the door and carried the food over to Emmett, unpacking it and setting it on the table.

Unable to help himself, he leaned forward and peeked into the boxes. "Any sweet and sour?"

"Yeah, that one there I think," I said pointing to a larger box. Eagerly, he opened it, inhaling the scent deeply.

"You're forgiven," he smirked as he reached in with his bare fingers and snagged a piece of chicken coated in a red sauce.

"Gee, thanks," I rolled my eyes and tossed him some chopsticks and a napkin. Sitting on the couch next to him, I turned on the television to the news and began to eat lo mein from the container. "So what was so urgent that you insisted on coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Can't I just be interested in what's going on in the life of my best friend?" When I raised my brow, he sighed. "Fine. While you were gone this week, I heard some rumors and I wanted to tell you in person before you heard them from someone else."

Suddenly, I felt sick, my stomach immediately began to reject the food I was putting in it and it churned steeply. The blood drained from my face and my heart pounded against my ribs.

They knew. Everyone knew. I didn't know how it had happened, but somehow my secret had been discovered. My first thought was Spencer, but he had almost as much to lose by coming out as I did. Panicking, I put the food container on the table and took shallow breaths. My future, my career, was over.

What if the rumors hit my father before I had the chance to tell him?

"Hey, you okay, man? You look kind of pale. Bad lo mein?" Emmett's voice stumbled through my racing mind and somehow I managed to turn my head toward him. He sat there, as casual as ever, taking up half my couch with his hulking figure as he shoveled sweet and sour chicken into his mouth, not even pausing to speak.

"Wha…what kind of…" I exhaled sharply, "rumors?"

"Want the good or bad news first?" he mumbled around his food.

"Good." I didn't why I chose that, it wasn't going to make much difference after I heard the bad.

"Japan is a done deal. It's going to happen," he smiled.

"And the bad?" I choked out.

"You better learn to speak Japanese," he teased. Relief rushed through me, calming my heart and allowing me to breathe once again. Wiping my sweaty palms on my pants, I took several deep breaths.

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty sure. It looks like you're the chosen one on this. Which makes sense, your father isn't going to trust anyone else with his first Asian deal."

"When?"

"Not sure. I've heard a few different dates, one as soon as next week, another as late as three weeks."

"That's sooner than I expected."

"Me too. You're done with Seattle, right?" Hanging my head, I nodded. "That's goo-oh, wait. That's not good, is it?"

I sighed. "I finished last Thursday, we all went out to dinner that night."

"Does Jasper know?"

"No, I haven't told him yet."

"But you were with him all weekend?"

I nodded again. "I took him to the beach house."

"I don't want details," he visibly shivered, "but did you have fun?"

"He told me he loves me." I beamed at the memory.

"Aw," Emmett grinned and teased, "How sweet."

"I love him too," I admitted shyly. "I love him a lot, Emmett."

"I know," he smiled, almost laughing at my shocked expression. "C'mon, give me some credit. I'm not blind, I can tell when my best friend is in love."

"Asshole." I reached over and shoved his shoulder, which didn't budge under my force.

"So now what?" he asked, putting the sweet and sour chicken down and picking up the pork fried rice. Emmett eating fried rice with chopsticks was always entertaining.

"What do you mean?"

"Japan?" he reminded me. "How good does Jasper look in a kimono?"

Deflated, I sat back against the couch. "Fuck."

"Well, that's not an image of you two I need in my head, but if you mean it figuratively, then yeah, big ole fuck. Maybe the deal won't take long?" he offered, trying to make me feel better.

"A few months at least," I sighed shaking my head.

"Ouch."

There was no way in hell I could go months without seeing Jasper. I barely made it through days, much less a week. A few months would fucking kill me. The sick feeling from before returned with a vengeance. Then I realized the solution was in front of me, and he had been for months.

"I won't go," I said simply and Emmett raised his brows. "I'll send Spencer instead. I'll tell dad Spencer is more qualified. He can already speak the language." When Emmett started chuckling, I continued, feeling the need to convince him. "He's ready, Emmett. He can do this."

Emmett nodded. "Okay, buddy. You gonna be the one to tell daddy? Just let me know what you want written on your gravestone before you do, okay?"

"You're not helping," I reminded him. "I need help, Emmett."

"What you need is luck, and a shitload of it," he laughed.

Leaning back, I clenched my eyes shut. As much as I fought them, tears still pricked at the corners of my eyes but I refused to release them. Not in front of Emmett. The warm, wide spread of his large hand was on my thigh and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.

"We'll figure something out," he promised quietly, squeezing my leg. Swallowing thickly, I nodded. "I know you're not going to like this idea, but what if you came out? At least tell your dad, tell him you can't go to Japan because you have a boyfriend."

"You know I can't do that, Em," I groaned. "That would be a double whammy. 'Hi, Dad, I'm gay and I can't go to Japan because I be away from my boyfriend that long. Oh, and he's an escort.'"

"More like a triple whammy," Emmett replied, and I glared at him. "Sorry." He finished off the rice and placed it on the table.

Keeping Jasper's past a secret, I proceeded to tell Emmet everything about Jasper and our weekend together. He listened to every word I said, asking questions and teasing me gently through it all. Just like with Bella, I felt lighter after sharing details of my love life with Emmett. By the time I was done, Emmett had finished off three more cartons of food, claiming he was still a growing boy, and downed two beers.

"You really love him, huh?"

"Yeah, I do. More than I can say," I sighed.

"We'll figure this out, Edward. It's going to be all right."

I fucking hoped he was right.

"**~~**"

I was at work earlier than usual the next morning and sitting at my desk when my father walked in with a mug of coffee. He placed it on my desk before making himself comfortable in one of the chairs.

"Hey, Dad," I said, picking up the coffee. "Thanks."

"No problem. Thought you could use some with the workload you're carrying right now trying to finish up the Seattle deal and get the Phiefter one off the ground."

"It's not so bad," I shrugged, a sinking feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach as I let him believe the lie. There was no way I could tell him that I had already had the celebratory dinner with the Seattle firm.

"I'm glad you're here early because I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Japan," I supplied for him. "I already know."

"Good news travels fast," he chuckled.

_Good news my ass. _

"It's going to happen, it's just a matter of when. I spoke to Mr. Sato on Friday, we're finalizing the dates in the next few days." He leaned back and eyed me, his fingers tenting together in front of him as he thought. "Edward, I know I don't need to tell you how important this deal is."

I shook my head. "It's our first Asian deal, if this is successful, we could open up a new overseas market."

"Exactly. Chances like this don't come often, son, and I want you on it."

They were the words I had been dreading hearing since Emmett had told me the night before. Swallowing, I gathered some courage.

"Dad, don't you want someone with more experience on this? The only solo merger I've done is Seattle. Don't you want Marcus or someone else?"

"Edward, Seattle was a huge success. Granted, you had your speed bumps along the way," he said, referring to my missed meetings and dinners. "But overall, it was handled very well. They raved about you and your professionalism. I want you representing us in Japan too. If you feel more comfortable having Marcus around, he's yours, but I want you there too."

Defeated, I nodded.

"I'll keep you updated on the possible schedule," he said as he stood and headed for the door.

I barely had time to lower my head to my hands when I heard footsteps in my office. I didn't have to raise my head to know who was there. "What do you want?" I sighed, still not looking up. The leather creaked when he sat down.

"You know what I want," he said smoothly, but he was unable to hide the excitement in his voice.

"Yes, Japan is a done deal." I finally dropped my hands to my desk. "Yes, I'm going," I finished, feeding him the piece of information he had been craving. Spencer was almost bouncing in the chair.

"And?"

"You weren't mentioned," I replied softly. Instantly, disappointment set in his eyes, but he tried to cover it quickly with a small smile. "Sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. It's a big deal, I can see why he wants someone more experienced on it. I was just, ya know, hoping that maybe after Seattle, you'd put in a good word and…" he faded off with a shrug.

"I've told him how good you were in Seattle," I said. He looked utterly crushed, his brown eyes darkened and his shoulders slumped forward. Even his gray suit seemed duller. "Maybe I can talk to him, see what I can do," I offered.

His eyes slid to mine, a sliver of hope in them. "You'd do that?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I know we got off on the wrong foot, Spencer, but as for work, you're damn good at your job. You're knowledgeable, intelligent, and seem to know exactly what the client wants to hear. That's all pretty vital shit, and I'm sure the Japan merger would benefit from you being on the team. Plus you speak Japanese. That's a huge advantage."

Smiling, he shifted in the chair and tilted his head. "You think I'm intelligent?"

"Fuck off," I said, tossing a pen at him. He laughed when it bounced off his chest and onto the floor. Looking at me, his eyes sparkled with mirth. "What's got you in such a good mood anyway?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well before I told you about Japan, you were practically skipping when you came in here and now you can't sit still. That was more than excitement over the thought of going to Japan."

He glanced over his shoulder before leaning forward. "I got laid this weekend."

"In Seattle?"

"Yep. I was in the hotel bar Friday night when this hot guy came up and was all over me. He wasn't my type, but there was something about him I couldn't shake. Practically begged me to take him back to my room to fuck."

My brows furrowed at his words but I shook off the uneasy feeling.

"So I did. And damn, was he good. Spanked me, rimmed me, fucked me. He was amazing. After we got dinner, we went back to my room and went at it all night. Spent all day Saturday doing the same thing. I think we fucked on every piece of furniture in that suite. The balcony, shower, bar top, you name it. Wasn't sure if I would be able to walk to get on the airplane on Sunday," he finished with a grin.

I was tempted to ask questions and get more details, but I decided I didn't need to delve into Spencer's weekend of sex. "Good, I'm glad your last weekend out there was…fulfilling," I smiled.

"It was very filling. About eight inches worth. Speaking of weekends, how was yours?" Spencer had known where I was for the weekend, he had even offered to cover for me should anyone call and need me.

"Great, we had a good time, thanks. No spanking though," I chuckled.

He grew quiet as he nodded, his eyes resting on his hands before he brought them back to me. "Listen, Edward, I'm truly sorry about all that shit I did. I just…I just wanted someone, and I got jealous when I saw you already had someone, and it wasn't me."

"It's already forgotten. Now go so I can work. I'll see what I can find out about Japan and will get back to you." He stood to leave, but I stopped before him he reached the door. "Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"I've got a favor to ask, it's kind of big." Turning, he waited for me. "I haven't told my father that the Seattle merger is done yet."

"What? Are you serious?"

"Yeah. See, I want…I need to go back there this week."

"And you are telling your dad you're going to finish it up?"

"Yes, he thinks I'm flying back out to have the contracts signed."

"You're secret is safe with me," Spencer promised softly. "I won't say a word. If he asks if I'm going, I'll just say you can handle it on your own."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"No problem, Edward. I hope you get what you need out there," he said before quickly turning and leaving.

I hoped I did too.

It was only an hour later before I couldn't stand it anymore and was picking up my cell phone to dial Jasper's number.

"Hey, baby," he answered quietly, but I could still hear the relief in his voice. It was the same relief I felt coursing through me with just two words.

"Hey, love. How are you?"

"I'm okay, tired. How about you?"

"Same. I miss you. My bed feels so empty," I admitted bluntly, easily. What I neglected to tell him was how hard it was to breathe without him, how I felt a crushing weight on my chest. I didn't need to share that with him, because I already knew he felt the same way.

"Mine too," he replied.

"Bullshit, you haven't been home," I shot back, my voice full of nothing but concern and love. "You need rest, love."

He ignored my advice, exactly how I knew would. "I've got good news. The doctor said Riley can probably go home Friday."

"Excellent. My flight is pretty early, I'll call you as soon as I land, find out where you are," I told him, glancing at the computer monitor with the airline's website pulled up. I had just booked my flight for my return to Seattle. I was already counting the hours until I saw him again.

"I can't wait," he sighed, exhaustion coating every word as they fell from his lips.

"Me either," I answered, looking up when my door pushed open and Bella walked in waving a file I'd been waiting for. "Hold on." I tilted the phone down from my mouth. "Is that the McLean file?"

"It is, they're waiting on line two for you," she said, then mouthed the words, "Is that Jasper?" Grinning, she sat down in one of the chairs, making no effort to hide her curiosity.

"Sorry, love," I said, watching Bella for her reaction. I smiled when she blushed and looked away. "I've got to go, they need me, but I'll call you later." I lowered my voice to a barely there whisper. "I love you."

There was no doubt Bella heard me, she was sitting only a few feet away, and I hoped showing I trusted her enough to say the words in front of her went a long way to diffusing some of the anger she felt toward me for having kept it secret from her for so long.

"Love you too, baby," he whispered in return right before the line went dead. Hitting end, I put my phone down, unable to stop the smile that spread across my face or the speeding of my heartbeat. He was thousands of miles away and he still affected me as much as if he was sitting where Bella was. While Jasper and I had been in love for some time, expressing it was still new to us both. By the time I dragged my eyes from the cell phone back to Bella sitting there with the folder, I had brought my racing heart under control, but the blush still thickly covered my cheeks.

"Young love is so refreshing," she teased.

"Line two?" I asked, picking up the phone and ignoring her teasing. Laughing, she nodded and placed the file on my desk before standing up. I swear I heard her singing "K-I-S-S-I-N-G…" as she left the office.

I made it through the rest of the day by taking out my phone and staring at the pictures of Jasper and me at the beach. I found myself reaching up and tracing the lines of his lips and the dimples that framed them. Blood rushed through me, heating me as I remembered making love to Jasper, how it had felt to be inside him, how tight and hot. Shifting in my chair, I put my phone down and attempted to focus on work.

Ten minutes later, I was gazing at the pictures again.

I was useless. I was so caught up in Jasper, and his world, that everything around me suffered because of it. Worse was that I realized it, and knew I needed to correct it, but I had absolutely no desire to. I liked being engulfed by his presence, I liked thinking about him every thirty seconds, I liked how much my cock twitched when I thought about his voice or his eyes or his lips.

Especially around my cock.

"Jesus," I groaned, reaching down and palming my growing erection. I tried to force the thoughts away, but my cock had other ideas. Looking under my desk, I swear I saw Jasper there, naked and on his knees readying to service me. Licking my lips, my eyes darted to my door to make sure it was closed, although it wasn't locked. To my left was a wall of windows, the blinds mostly open to let in the mid morning sun. Closing my eyes, I reclined in my chair as I relaxed back into it.

"C'mon," he encouraged from under my desk. "Let me taste your cock."

"I'm at work," I argued weakly.

"You're also a slut, and I know you'd like nothing better than for people to watch while I suck you off," he countered.

"Fuck yeah," I agreed and before I realized it, my zipper was undone and my fingers were wrapping around my erection. Groaning, I stroked myself slowly, feeling the teasing flicks of Jasper's wet tongue as he swirled it around the head, dipping it into the slit before taking it between his plush lips. A loud moan escaped me as I pumped myself faster, in time with the bobbing of his head. I could almost feel his soft hair tangled around my fingers as I pushed his head down further onto my cock, forcing him to take it deeper. My breaths quickly became labored, even though my imagination was ruling my body, my mind told me there wasn't a lot of time and this fantasy needed to be quick.

"Suck my cock," I directed him in a raspy voice. "Suck it deep, love."

I looked down at his lean, lithe body, the muscles in his shoulders moving as his hands roamed my clothed body. I wanted nothing more than to strip right there in the office and feel Jasper's hands on my skin. Panting, I tightened my fist on my cock, eager for the sweet fire to spring and flood my greedy body. Jasper moaned, sending vibrations through me at an alarming rate and my hips lifted off the chair, shoving my cock deeper into his throat.

"Take it all," I demanded quietly. "Make me come."

Suddenly there was another presence in the room, one that I coveted in the recesses of my mind. He was next to me, leaning over me with his lips at ear as he spoke in his low, seductive voice.

"You like him sucking your cock, Beautiful?" When I nodded, he continued. "I like watching it. I like seeing his lips around you. You know how much I want to taste your cock myself? It's one of the many things I want to do you."

"Tell me," I gasped, my eyes fixed on my lover on his knees as he watched me through his thick lashes.

"I want to suck your cock, I want to taste your cum, and then I want to turn you over to taste that sweet ass of yours and tongue fuck you until you're screaming for me. Then I want to fuck that tight hole until you come all over yourself," Riley whispered. My mind immediately flogged me with images of me bent over my desk while Riley took me from behind and Jasper sucked my cock.

"Fucking Christ," I whimpered. The pressure in my belly began to build painfully and there wasn't going to be any holding back. Not even pulling down on my balls was going to stop the impending climax. Jasper's tongue laved the bottom of my cock as my hand dragged up it, tugging and pulling on the skin.

"Come in his mouth, Beautiful. Show my whore how good you taste, fill his mouth and then watch it dribble out the sides when he can't take it all," Riley encouraged.

His words did me in. Barely coherent enough to grab a tissue from the box I kept in my drawer, I covered the head of my cock with it. One long, hard suck and Jasper drew my climax from me. Grunting, I thrust into his mouth, shooting my load into the tissue, soaking it with warm cum.

"Yeah, that's it, look at that load. I bet it tastes so fucking good. Some day I'm going to find out myself," Riley sighed in my ear as my body jerked and tensed with each wave of my orgasm until I finally fell back against the chair.

"Fuck," I breathed, my body tingling with the remnants of my high, my cock still hard and seeping into the Kleenex. After a light kiss to my neck, Riley was gone, and after a long lick of my cock, Jasper followed him.

It had felt so real.

As I sat there in my office during work hours with my sated cock in my hand and the evidence of my fantasy on the tissue, I realized I was clearly going insane without Jasper by my side.

I quickly cleaned up and took a long sip of water before opening up the airline website again. Logging in, I clicked on the reservation I had made only a few hours before. A few clicks and a few hundred dollars later, I was booked on a flight for Thursday instead of Friday.

The sooner I was back in Jasper's arms the better.

I looked at my watch. In little over twenty-four hours the desire to feel him around me would be a reality. Turning off my computer, I gathered my jacket and briefcase and locked my office before heading down the waiting car.

Connor dropped me off at my parent's house about twenty minutes later. "Mom?" I called out as I entered the house.

"Back here," she yelled from the kitchen. Entering through the arched doorway, I found her mixing a salad on the island. She looked up and smiled at me as I approached and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "You look tired," she commented.

"I am a little," I admitted.

"You work too hard," she scolded me.

"Must be in my DNA." She was just about to scold me when my father walked in.

"Edward," he greeted me only after placing a tender kiss on my mother's lips and whispering something in her ear that made her blush.

I sighed.

They had something I desperately yearned for. Normalcy. I wanted to come home after work and find Jasper cooking. I wanted to kiss him and whisper in his ear to make him blush, though there was probably little I could say that would make Jasper blush. I wanted the everyday, lifelong love my parents had, and I wanted it with Jasper. I didn't care about marriage or commitment ceremonies or anything official, I just wanted to be certain that when I left my apartment in the morning that he would be there when I got back. We could laugh and smile and dance around the kitchen while dinner cooked. Later we could take a bubble bath together and then make sweet love all night long, waking up in each other's arms the next day to do it all again. It was perfect, an ideal life that everyone dreamed of living with person they loved. There was only one problem.

Jasper lived two thousand miles away.

"You all right?" my father asked, shaking me from my daydream.

"Yeah," I lied.

"Dinner is almost ready," my mother announced. "I made lasagna."

"Great," I mumbled, then offered to carry the salad to the table. After I set the table with the plates, my parents joined me in the dining room.

"Emmett just called, he can't make it," my father said as he sat down.

"That's okay," I replied and scooped some salad onto my plate. "He'd eat it all on us anyway."

"Your father tells me that the Japan merger is going to happen?" my mother said and I glanced at my father before answering.

"That's what I've heard," I said quietly. "Speaking of, have you got confirmation on a start date?"

"Actually, I just talked to Mr. Sato before I left. Looks like a little over two weeks from today."

Two weeks. Two fucking weeks.

Swallowing, I nodded. "I want to bring someone onto the team."

My dad cut a piece of lasagna for himself while my mother poured the wine. "You've already got Marcus, both his assistants, and you. Who else do you want? Bella?"

"No, I need her here in case I need something from the office," I reasoned. Even though I felt anything but, I confidently looking him in the eye and said, "I want Spencer."

"Stanley?"

"Yes. He proved himself in Seattle, and while he's not ready to head a merger alone, he would be fine with Marcus there. Maybe…" I took a deep breath, "he could take my place."

"Take your place?" my father asked as if he hadn't heard me right.

Before he could say anymore, I defended my suggestion. "He's ready, Dad. He was great in Seattle, handled any problems that came up quickly, even resolved the Grady issue we had within a few hours. He's got a higher degree than I do, so technically he's more qualified than I am. Plus, he speaks Japanese."

His brows rose at the last fact, one he hadn't known before, but I could tell he wasn't going to give in easily, if at all.

"Well, those are great qualities, Edward, I will certainly add him to the team if you want. I'm glad he's proven himself to be worthy of working for us, but I won't send him in your place. I want you there," he said with a finality that closed the door on the conversation, at least for the night. I had crossed one hurdle though, Spencer would be happy when I called him later.

For the rest of dinner, my appetite lost, I pretended to eat and sip my wine, making light conversation until I was able to excuse myself and leave. Guilt singed me when I outright lied to my father and told him I was flying out to Seattle the next day to sign the contracts when I was really going out there to be with the man I couldn't seem to function without. I kissed my mother, said goodbye to them both, and headed out to the car. Once I was in the backseat and Connor was pulling out of the driveway, I raised the window between us and took out my cell phone to call Spencer.

"Hello," he answered, breathless.

"Hey, it's me," I replied.

"Hey, sorry, I was just running on the treadmill. What's up?"

"I got you on the team."

"Are you shitting me?"

"Nope. I just had dinner with my parents, I asked for you to go in my place, my father said no, but he agreed to let you on the team."

"Thanks, Edward. This is fantastic, I can't wait to tell my dad, he's going to be so proud. I owe you," he said excitedly. Then what I had said hit him and he backtracked. "Wait, what did you say?"

"You're on the team," I repeated.

"No, before that. You said that you asked him if I could go in your place? Why…why would you do that?" His voice was heavy with concern.

"Because I don't want to go," I replied honestly.

"You want to stay with Jasper," Spencer assumed.

"Yes," I murmured. "I can't be away from him for that long."

"Aw, shit, Edward, I'm sorry, but I'm sure he'll understand. I mean, this is your career we're talking about."

"Even if he did understand, _I_ don't want to be away from him for that long," I reiterated. "You saw me before, what a mess I was. I can't…I just can't go."

"Edward, if you don't go, there's no way your father will send me. He will want you there to look over my shoulder every step of the way," he said with a hint of pleading.

Spencer was probably right. My father's reasoning would be that Marcus would be far too busy to supervise Spencer's every move. I hadn't thought of that when I had asked my father about Spencer joining the team. I had hoped that he would see that Spencer had proven himself was ready to work with Marcus on the project, affectively releasing me. But it probably wasn't going to work that way.

"I'm sorry," I sighed.

"Are you going to tell your father?" he asked, the joy from earlier absent from his voice.

"Not right now. Not until the last possible second," I admitted quietly. It was the pussy way out, I knew it, but my need for Jasper overshadowed any shame I was supposed to feel. "I gotta go, I need to call Jasper."

"Okay, please think about it. I'll see ya tomorrow," he said before hanging up.

After the shit he had done to me, I shouldn't have felt bad, but I did. Spencer had led the same privileged life I had, both of us had never wanted for anything, and while we had been raised with manners and hardworking nature, we had been coddled. Rarely had we seen anything like what Jasper and Riley had survived. Those images were saved for the documentaries we occasionally watched on television or the highlight reel of the nightly news. Spencer not only hid who he was, like I did, but he had never even had the opportunity to date someone that wasn't set up by his parents specifically for breeding purposes. It was easy to forgive him for the blackmail when I realized he was as clueless about relationships and love as I was, maybe even more.

I was about to dial Jasper when we pulled up in front of my building and I decided to wait until I was in my apartment. I said good night to Connor and nodded to the doorman before getting on the elevator and going to my floor. Once I was in my place, I locked the door, poured a glass of bourbon and stripped my clothes. In my pajama bottoms, I crawled onto my bed and called Jasper.

Every bad feeling from the entire day faded away with just two words.

"Hey, baby."

They were spoken so softly, so reverently, that my body shuddered with the emotion behind them. Before I even said hello, I told him something else. "I love you."

He chuckled and I heard him move. I knew he was in the hospital room, I knew he hadn't left Riley's side. "Is that how they say hello in Chicago?"

I almost laughed, relief splicing through me as his voice soothed me almost as much as his touch could. "No, I just had to say it. It's been too long since I told you."

"Baby, you texted me right before dinner at your parents," he reminded me. I remembered sitting the car, typing on the keypad, smiling at the silly words.

_Roses are red, violets are blue. You're beautiful and I love you._

"Yeah, well, it's been a few hours," I defended myself and he sighed. "So, love, tell me about your day. How's Riley doing?"

He proceeded to update me on Riley's condition, that he had been able to eat, and how he ordered everything on the menu. I smiled and laughed and sighed at the ache in my chest that grew with the distance between us. When he was done telling me about Riley, I asked about work and he said he had taken the week off. While I knew he wouldn't want to leave Riley, I was surprised he had been able to take an entire week off, especially after having the weekend off, but I wasn't sure on the benefits escorts received. I couldn't deny the happiness I felt when I knew he wasn't with other men at night. We talked for an hour, Jasper in his chair in Riley's room and me in my California King bed, alone except for his voice on the other end of the phone. He laughed and teased me when I told about the fantasy I had in my office and how I had come into a tissue.

"Love, you sound so tired, please go home," I encouraged when I heard him stifle another yawn.

"No. I'm not leaving him. I can't, baby, I just…can't."

I couldn't fault him for wanting to watch over his friend. "Okay, but try to sleep, please. I can hear the exhaustion in your voice."

"I will, I promise."

"I should go, I've got a early meeting. I'll call you tomorrow," I vowed.

"Okay, baby. I love you," he whispered and my heart leapt.

"I love you too, see you soon," I returned before ending the call. Tossing the phone on my table, I closed my eyes and wondered how the fuck I was going to tell him I was going away for three months. And if I couldn't tell Jasper that, then how I was supposed to tell my father that I wasn't going away for three months.

No matter what I did, I was going to disappoint one of them, I just didn't know which one.

I wondered just when my life had become so fucked up.

"**~~**"

I pulled Bella into my office by her arm and closed the door.

"I never thought of you as dominating, Edward," she joked as she rubbed the arm I had grabbed. "You're leading all kinds of secret lives."

"Funny," I snapped. "I need you to do a few things for me while I'm gone." I had told Bella the day before that I was going back to Seattle. She knew the merger was done, she had seen contracts on my desk, but I had sworn her to secrecy. The contracts were safely locked in my bottom drawer, waiting to be handed over to my father when I returned.

"Of course you do," she sighed.

Without waiting for her, I continued, "I need these papers delivered to McLean today. I've gone over our part, now he needs his attorneys to look it over one last time for changes. If there are any changes, email them to me." I stood at my desk and shuffled through some folders. "I need Jack at Smith and Johnson to sign these and review the last page. Oh, can you call Levi over there and have him come get them personally? I don't want another fuck up like last time. You know how they are over there."

"Sure, I'll call him when I get back to my office."

"Great, I talked to him yesterday and he's expecting it. If you've got questions, ask Spencer, he worked the deal too."

"Okay," she said, writing it down. "Anything else?"

"I won't be at the hotel at all, so call my cell if you need me. I'll be back late Sunday." I opened my briefcase to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. "Oh, have Spencer call Sam at Alltec and see if we can get going on that deal with Weston."

"Ugh," she groaned and rolled her eyes.

"What?"

"I don't like working with Spencer, he eyes me like a piece of meat."

Suppressing a smile, I kept my eyes down. "He'll be fine. I told him to behave." I knew I could trust Bella, but it wasn't my position to out Spencer.

"He better or I'm going to kick him in the balls."

"Well, wait until I'm back in town to do that because that's something I want to see."

"Sure thing, boss." Closing my briefcase, I grabbed my jacket off the back of my chair and slipped it on. "When is your flight?"

"Two hours," I answered as I extended the handle of the wheeling suitcase I had packed earlier that morning. "Thanks for everything, Bella." I opened my office door and she came up to me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Anything for a friend," she responded and then followed me out.

Leaving my bag by the front receptionist desk, I walked a few doors down to Spencer's office. His door was partially opened and I knocked on it. Looking up from his desk, he waved me in.

"Are you leaving already?"

"I am. I'll be back in the office on Monday. I left a few things with Bella for you."

"Alltec?

"Yeah, we got to move fast on this one."

"No problem, I'll call Sam and see what I can find out."

"Great, thanks. Oh, and behave with Bella. No eyeing her like a piece of meat."

He looked at me quizzically, but nodded anyway. "Bella's not meat, got it. I'll see you Monday, Edward. Have a good weekend."

"You too, and thanks for your help."

He smiled. "Just doing my job."

Turning, I left, grabbed my bag and then headed for the elevators. Once I was inside the waiting car outside, my stomach began to flutter with the same eagerness I always had when I knew I would see Jasper soon. The pounding heart and heated blood were something I was growing accustomed to.

At the airport, I breezed through security and boarded my flight. Stretching out in first class, I ordered my bourbon and pulled out my laptop to do some work, hoping to keep my mind occupied and not recalling the flight from Boston that Jasper and I had shared. It was quiet around me and I was able to focus until I looked up and saw a blond man sitting a few rows in front of me. He wasn't nearly as handsome as Jasper and his hair didn't look as soft or quite as long, but instantly I felt Jasper's breath in my ear as he talked dirty to me. My cock stirred in my pants and I debated on going to the restroom to jerk off. It was tempting, I knew it would be quick, but I was going to see Jasper in just a few hours. I wanted to save it all for him. Moving my eyes from the blond man, I looked at my laptop and tried to refocus.

When the pilot announced our descent, I closed my laptop and put it back into my bag. Glancing at my watch, I began counting down the minutes until I saw Jasper again. It was a well practiced act. I knew the exact length of time it took to get from the airport to Jasper's apartment, only this time I knew he would be at the hospital. That was where I would find him.

Disembarking, I pulled my bag along behind me and made my way outside the airport. Even though I was supposedly there on business, I hadn't arranged for a car, so I hailed a cab and climbed in.

"Haborview Hospital, please," I directed. I debated on calling Jasper to let him know I was on my way, but selfishly, I wanted to surprise him. I wanted to see the light flicker in his eyes when he realized I was there early simply because I couldn't wait to see him again. Sitting back, I watched the buildings of Seattle go by, each one bringing me closer to Jasper. When we pulled up to the hospital, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.

Throwing money at the driver, I stepped out of the cab. With my laptop bag over my shoulder and the handle of my luggage in my hand, I walked through the automatic doors and up to the floor where they had moved Riley to after releasing him from the ICU. After checking with the nurses' station to be sure I had the right room, I practically ran down the hall, my heart racing more with each step. I skidded to halt in front of Riley's door, taking a few deep breaths to gather my composure before I barged in and surprised them both.

Gulping in air, I smiled when I heard Riley's laugh. He sounded so…alive.

I placed my hand on the door to push it completely open when my racing heart halted.

The accompanying laugh wasn't Jasper's.

It was deeper, richer, less tender. It could be doctor, I told myself. Riley could have flirted with the doctor, who then laughed at his foolishness. Jasper was probably sitting nearby listening to it all and shaking his head at his friend.

"Not that I'm complaining, but I was surprised to wake up and see you here," Riley said.

It could still be a doctor. They made unexpected visits.

"Jasper was exhausted, but I couldn't get him to go home unless I promised to stay and watch over you," the other voice replied.

"You can do more than watch over me, cowboy," Riley flirted.

_Cowboy. _

It wasn't a doctor.

"You know you're just wasting energy with me, right?" the cowboy reminded him.

Riley's sigh was quiet, but loud enough for me to hear, as was his voice when he softened it. "Yeah, it's obvious you're in love with him."

If my heart hadn't already stalled, it would have then. There wasn't anyone else Riley could be referring to, _him _could only be Jasper. Swallowing the lump that had risen in my suddenly dry, constricting throat, I closed my eyes. This couldn't be happening.

_He_ was in love with Jasper.

_My_ Jasper.

"I am. I won't deny it, I've never denied it. I won't hide who I am or who I love. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for him, Riley." He paused. "I could give him everything he ever wanted for the rest of his life, except…"

My heart sank even farther into the pit of my stomach. This man could do exactly what I couldn't. He could give Jasper everything.

"Except what, Peter?" Riley asked.

_Peter._

Peter loved my Jasper.

"Except he doesn't feel the same way," Peter answered cryptically, but with anguish in his voice.

His anguish was my salvation. But as much as it was my salvation, doubt still crept into my mind. Not in Jasper's love for me, but in his love for someone else. I had already heard him confess his love for Riley, and while I knew it to be different, it existed. Perhaps it wasn't only Riley that it existed with.

Sighing softly, I opened my eyes, daring to try to see the man that vied for my lover's heart. Stepping to the side, I leaned back and tilted my head, hoping that neither of them would be looking at the door at the same time I looked in. I could see the end of Riley's bed, his legs and feet under the blanket, but the rest of him was blocked by the curtain hanging from the ceiling. I took a deep breath before sliding my eyes to the man sitting in the chair. He was tall with wide shoulders and medium length black hair. His eyes were downcast and long lashes fanned over high cheekbones that were tinged with color. The strong, square jaw was clean shaven, and the suit he wore was expensive.

His looks confirmed what I suspected. It was the man from the banquet, the same one that Jasper had been with and had skillfully seduced while I watched, the same man that was obviously proud to be out of the closet. It was the man that could give Jasper the world.

The same world that I couldn't.

I was surprised by the familiarity the man had with Riley, apparently enough for Jasper to have trusted him with his best friend. If Riley felt comfortable enough with Peter, he would respond honestly, but I wasn't sure I could bear to hear his reply.

What if he said that Jasper did feel the same way? What if Riley knew something I didn't?

Before Riley could answer, I turned sharply and left, not able to get to the elevators fast enough. Panic welled inside me more with each step. I needed to see Jasper more than ever. Shoving my bags in the back of a parked taxi, I climbed in and gave the address of Jasper's building to the driver.

Even though I was looking out the window at the streets and people, all I saw was that man with my Jasper. The jealousy I had felt at the banquet reemerged as I remembered Jasper whispering in Peter's ear, his hands on Peter's body, the way Jasper looked at him like there was no one else in the room. Except there had been someone else.

Me.

It had awed me how easily he slipped from the Jasper I knew to the Jasper at work. My insides twisted when I thought about what he did with Peter after the banquet. I told myself it didn't matter. It didn't matter what he did with other men, he didn't love them, he loved me.

The cab pulled up in front of his building and I handed the fare to the driver and got out. Sprinting through the lobby, I caught an elevator and urgently pressed the button for his floor, pacing the small space the entire time. The doors dinged and opened and I stepped off, already running toward his door. Knocking, I held my breath.

"Please be here, please be here," I chanted during the long minute it took for the door to slowly swing open. Complete and utter relief swept through me.

He was there.

He looked more exhausted than I had imagined and there was a slight scent of beer on him as I reached up and cupped his cheek. Seeing the pure, raw love in his eyes immediately wiped away my fear of him and another man. Ragged and with dark circles under his eyes, he looked like hell, but I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

I shoved my bag inside and closed the door before asking, "You okay, love?"

"I am now," he breathed, as relieved as I was.

"C'mon," I said, taking his hand and leading him to his bedroom. He followed, almost dazed as I stopped him near the bed and kneeled before him, my fingers deftly undoing the button and fly of his jeans. I slipped his pants and briefs down his long legs, supporting him when he swayed off balance. Leaning forward, I placed a delicate kiss on his scar, then stood up grabbing the hem of his shirt as I did so. Swiftly, I slid it up his chest and over his head and arms, letting it fall to the floor. I moved behind him, kissing his shoulder.

"My beautiful Jasper," I murmured before shedding my own clothes. With the last piece of clothing removed, I took Teddy from the bed and folded the blanket back before getting in. Jasper crawled in after me, pressing his back to my chest as I wrapped and arm around his waist and a leg over his. There was not an inch of us that wasn't in contact. Nudging his curls aside with my nose, I kissed his neck and sighed.

Finally, I was back where I belonged.

"**~~**"

I woke up before he did, our bodies still entwined as they had been when we fell asleep several hours before, though he had turned around and was now facing me. The night had fallen and past without either of us knowing it, and the faint light of a new day streaked through the curtains. Opening my eyes, I took in my lover, the hard body pressed against me in a deep sleep was more enticing and beautiful and comforting than ever. My heart beat in steady time with his, our breaths evenly matched as I brushed his hair from his face to expose his closed lids. I caressed his thigh with my thumb and he stirred.

"Love?"

"Mmmm, baby, wish you were here, miss you."

"I am here," I chuckled. "Wake up, you'll see."

When he shook his head, I kissed him, coaxing him from his sleepy state, convincing him I was real. Finally, his blue eyes drifted opened and instantly, the kiss deepened and our tongues touched for the first time in days. Hands lazily roamed each other's bodies as Jasper rolled onto his back, taking me with him.

"You're home," he sighed happily.

_Home._

Jasper considered his place our home.

"I'm home," I breathed before frantically kissing him again. It didn't take long before our hips were grinding, instinctively seeking friction of the other. His hands were buried in my hair, mine were on his hips as his lips explored the already well known territory of my neck.

"Jesus, I missed you. Feels so fucking good," I groaned. "Need you in me so bad."

His finger slid inside my hole, teasing me until I begged for more. Words of love were exchanged, the hole in my heart from our absence healing with each devoted whisper and erotic grunt. When we grew impatient, I rolled off him and grabbed the lube and a condom off the nightstand. I poured some lube on my fingers and teased my entrance with the slick tips. Ready, I opened the condom and tugged it onto his erection, smearing lube over it.

"I want you on top of me, all of you," I told him, lying next to him on my stomach.

"You're perfect," he murmured before straddling my thighs and nestling his cock between the cheeks of my ass, his body undulating on mine. Then he did exactly as I wanted and covered my greedy body completely with his, his weight full and heavy and hot on me. I felt nothing but the smooth muscles of Jasper's fit body as he rubbed against me, stealing my breath. With one shift of his hips, his cock slipped inside me, and I was filled and covered by him. He stilled, our bodies welcoming and reacquainting until he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Gotta move," he growled.

Languidly our bodies moved together, tantalizingly making love as we tried to mutually satisfy our never ending hunger for each other. My cock rubbed along the bunched blankets below me, Jasper's weight on me just enough to provide the friction, but not the release, I craved. We kissed and licked and nibbled, our hands clasped the entire time our sweat drenched bodies slid against each other. He lost it first, giving into the need before I did, he forced my legs apart to allow him more room. Knifing thrusts slammed into me, striking me deeper each time. My hips ground into the mattress until I felt my balls draw up.

"So fucking tight, I want to keep my cock buried in your ass all fucking day," he panted into my ear, and with that declared need, I came.

"Fuck, Jasper," I cried out, filling the room with a hoarse desperation as my cock pulsed and emptied onto the blanket, my body convulsing, my ass clamping around his cock. His fucking never stopped, he hit my gland with each rock of his hips but I knew from the lack of rhythm that he was close. Turning my head over my shoulder, I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth.

"Come for me," I mumbled into the kiss, and a few moments later, he did. We kissed as he came, his body jerking on mine, his hips mashing into me as his cock released into the condom. Even as his orgasm faded, he remained on top of me while we kissed and smiled and sighed. Finally, he slid off me, and after taking the condom off, pulled me close. "Jas?"

"Mmm?"

"Love you," I whispered honestly.

_So fucking much._

"Love you too."

Shifting so I was facing him, I mirrored his pose and kissed him.

"You're home early."

"I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I needed to be with you," I confessed. He never asked how I knew where he was, and I didn't volunteer the information. Talking about another man while in bed with Jasper was the last thing I wanted to do. "You look so tired."

"Been a long week without you," he sighed.

"Is he doing okay?"

"Yeah. He's still in pain, but they've started to take him off the pain medicine, and…I noticed his hands shaking earlier."

"Withdrawals. They're kicking because of the lesser amounts of morphine."

"I'm hoping if I get him home today and started on those pills you gave me, it won't be too bad for him."

"The sooner the better," I agreed but had absolutely no desire to move, even for Riley. It was in Jasper's arms that I wanted to stay. Forever. Instead of parting, we kissed and sucked on tongues. When I began to rut against him again, he broke the kiss and ran his fingers through my hair.

"We should go before we get distracted." I agreed, although I didn't want to. Returning to the hospital, knowing Peter was there made me anxious. Then again, maybe walking in with Jasper was exactly what I needed to do. I wasn't one to back down when challenged, this would be no different. "What time is it?"

"Almost eight. It will be close to nine by the time we shower and get there."

Jasper dragged me out of bed and into the shower, and it didn't take long before my cock was responding to seeing his bare body under the spray of water. When he opened his eyes and saw the hungry, naked desire in mine, he found himself on his knees with my cock buried in his throat. He swallowed my orgasm and I was kissing him before he could refuse, my hand stroking his lathered cock until his hips bucked and he came, releasing long streams of cum. We dressed quickly, sliding knowing looks to each other as we covered up the flesh we still longed to touch.

Holding hands, we made our way downstairs to the lobby and outside. Jasper hailed us a cab and we got in the back. Never once did our hands leave each other. I took a deep breath. Breathing was so much easier when he was by my side.

At the hospital, Jasper led me to Riley's room and my heart pounded with what we might find on the other side. I hadn't stayed long enough the night before to find out if Peter was spending the night with Riley as Jasper had. Peter's words echoed through me, and for once I hoped another man was right. I hoped Jasper didn't return Peter's affections. Jasper pushed Riley's door open and we were greeted with a frustrated boy…alone. Relieved, I squeezed Jasper's hand and he smiled at me. He thought it was because I saw Riley, but it was because of who I didn't see.

"About fucking time," Riley growled. "Where the fuck have you been? They said I can go, now get me the fuck out of here."

"Nice to see you too," I chuckled as I approached him, finally dropping Jasper's hand. Riley looked better, his eyes were dull and his face was still covered in fading bruises, but the swelling had gone down and he was clean.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just really want to go. These walls…"

"I know. Let's get you out of here. Do you have any clothes?"

He pointed to the chair and I retrieved them, bringing them over to Riley, who had sat up in the bed. He flinched when he reached for the clothes and released an exasperated sigh.

"Let me help," I offered. Reaching around his neck, I undid the string in the back and slipped the gown off his shoulders and down his arms. Taking the tee shirt, I put his arms through it and pushed it up them before stretching the neck out so his head would fit through without having to lift his arms too much. Once it was over his head, I slid it down his chest, letting my fingers graze along his body. I helped him off the bed and kneeled while he put his hand on my shoulder for balance. I tugged the underwear up his legs and over his ass, stopping before covering his limp, heavy cock, the heady scent of it filling my lungs.

"You gonna help or just watch?" he asked Jasper.

"I think Edward's doing just fine."

I looked up at Riley from my knees, my tongue sweeping across my bottom lip. As inappropriate as it was, I wanted to reach out and run my tongue along his cock, covered or not. I wanted to taste it.

"See something you like, beautiful?"

Blushing, I let the elastic snap against Riley's flesh, smirking when he winced. I helped him into his jeans and sat him back down to put on his sneakers. I noticed the clothes were new and assumed Jasper had brought them the day before. As soon as I stood, Riley's legs were like a vise around me, yanking me closer. He placed a finger under my chin, and before I could protest, his lips were brushing over mine.

"Thanks, beautiful. Though I much prefer it when you help take the clothes off instead of on." We were interrupted by a knock and the door opening as a nurse walked in. Blushing, I jumped back and looked away, trying to pretend I just hadn't been caught in Riley's trance. "It's okay, beautiful, they know I like cock."

I think the nurse was as embarrassed as I was. She worked quickly, giving Riley his release instructions and then fled the room.

"Yeah, go ahead and laugh. My dick is going to be fucking raw," Riley groaned after being told no sex for four to six weeks. Before I could move, his legs kicked out and he jerked me to him again. There was a mischievous flicker in his deep brown eyes, one I'd seen many times before. I wanted to search those eyes for the answers to what had been said between him and Peter the night before, but Riley was too skilled. Not only was I caught in his rapture, but he carefully veiled any emotions besides sexual ones. Vaguely I heard Jasper clear his throat, and I glanced at him, shrugging. Then all I felt were Riley's hands resting on my hips, the stroke of his thumb lulling me into a deeper hypnotic state.

"Beautiful, what do you say we leave him behind and you and I run away together? Someplace tropical. I've always wanted to see palm trees."

"Riley, let him go," Jasper demanded. With a sigh, Riley's legs loosened around me.

"Have I ever told you that you suck the fun out of everything?" Riley said to Jasper.

"That's not all I've suck out of you. Now let's go."

We helped Riley out of the room and into a wheelchair. He waved goodbye and blew kisses to all his new friends, some of them blushing as he called out to them by name, while others basked in his attention.

It was going to be one fucking interesting week.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Not so bad, right? Wait until next chapter…

I know it was short, well for me anyway, but I wanted the split to be at the same time as Jasper's. The next chapter is longer, I promise. A lot of readers were disappointed with Edward in the last chapter for not paying for Riley's rehab or coming out for Jasper. I ask that you wait until part two before judging him. He might even change a few opinions…hopefully. Dannie said she kinda fell in love with Spencer this chapter...is he redeeming himself?

Happy mother's day to all the moms!

The Slash Awards is taking nominations for Round Three! Visit http:/theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com/ for details!

There is a new contest call Pimp My Bunnies being hosted by Dannie. You can find details here http:/www DOT fanfiction DOT net/~pimpmybunnies Dannie has the best plot bunnies hands down!


	35. Never Let Me Go part 2

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Here is part two of Epov. We find out some scenes that Jasper wasn't around for as well as what happened when Edward left for Chicago. In my opinion, this chapter was every bit as angsty as Jasper's, and there's a tissue warning for the end.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

I had been around drugs my entire life, but I had never been around an addict. The only time I'd ever seen the effects of drug abuse had been the night Riley had shown up high at Jasper's apartment. Sure, I'd read the statistics, I knew what prescription drugs were highly addictive, which ones had the worst side effects and which ones would do the most damage to a body. Sometimes those facts were cleverly disguised or blatantly ignored by companies. No pharmaceutical company wanted to take responsibility for a soccer mom popping Vicodin at her kid's game because she can't deal with her life, or worse, her teenager stealing Oxycodone from mommy's purse and selling them to all his friends for twenty bucks a pop. No, the companies researched, made, and sold the drugs, but then they washed their hands of what happened after the drugs got into the consumers hands. As long as their disclaimers were clear, they took no responsibility.

Seeing Riley's addiction, his undeniable physical and mental need for drugs was something I'd never witnessed before. His body shook, his mind dulled, his temper flared. I was torn between wanting to help him by giving him his prescribed morphine pills and knowing what was best for him. Still, even knowing Jasper and I were doing the right thing, it killed me every time Riley looked at me like I was a traitor. Like it was my fault he was an addict.

Riley spent his first day home on the couch, barely speaking to either of us. While he had the television on, his eyes often drifted to the bottle of MS Contin sitting on the table in front of him. Not able to quench his body's need any longer, he reached for the bottle even though he wasn't due to take one for another hour. Quickly, I snagged the bottle before he could grab it. He looked at me with narrowed, hard eyes and told me to fuck off when I said he had to wait an hour. After that, I hid the pills in Jasper's drawer and we rationed them to Riley on a strict schedule.

I heard them arguing in the kitchen, and I wasn't surprised when Riley shuffled to the couch and lay down, putting his head on my lap, seeking the solace in me that Jasper wasn't giving him. Instinctively, my hands went to his hair, clean and soft, and I kept working through the slight waves until I felt his body relax completely. Jasper entered the room and sat down in the chair with a look of defeat on his face.

And it had only been a day.

The next day was better. Riley's mood had improved and he even ate a little. When he was in the shower, Jasper helped me clean up the kitchen.

"He seems better today, how come?" he asked as I handed him a dish to dry.

"It's been about twenty-four hours, the Clonazepam and Naltrexone are starting to kick in and relieve some of the symptoms. It's not over though, love, not by a long shot. I think this is only the calm before the storm."

No truer words had been spoken.

Not only did Riley's good mood from that morning fade, but his need grew, dictating his body and his actions. We were in the kitchen cooking dinner when Riley entered, a smirk on his face as he came to me and whispered in my ear.

"Beautiful, I swear if you give me just one extra pill today, I'll fuck you as soon as I can. I fuck you again and again," he murmured. "Just one pill." I shook my head defiantly. "I didn't want to fuck your rich, stuck up ass anyway," he yelled, hissing in pain when he turned to leave. "Thanks a fucking lot, beautiful."

Hours later, I was on the couch while Jasper ran to the store. Riley gingerly walked over to me and wordlessly sat down, curling his thin body into me and laying his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Beautiful," he apologized, still high from his dose of morphine only an hour before.

A few hours later, Riley went to bed and Jasper led me to our bedroom. He stripped my clothes from me until I stood naked in front of him. His tongue ran up the length of my cock and my hands went to his hair, thrusting my hips forward in a silent plea for more. It seemed it was only seconds after my cock was engulfed in his wet heat that I was grunting and coming down his throat. My body was still reeling from my orgasm when he guided me onto all fours on the bed and sank his cock into my ass. He pounded me from behind, his fingers digging into my flesh as he grunted and groaned, each one garnering him closer to his own climax. The bed moved under the force of his thrusts and my body willingly accepted every one. With a soft roar, he came. Sated, he collapsed on me, his mouth searching for mine in a searing kiss until the last of his climax ebbed from him while he whispered my ear how much he loved me and how fucking sexy I was. I heard the knock on the door but barely had time to turn my head before it was opening, revealing a very hard Riley.

"I heard the bed banging against the wall," he mumbled sheepishly. He stood in the doorway dressed in nothing but pajama bottoms barely hanging onto his slender hips. He was shirtless, the white gauze covering his incision standing out against the darkly bruised flesh.

Jasper rolled off me, twisting my body with his as he slipped his cock from my used hole, completely exposing me to Riley's hungry gaze. My skin crawled with the weight of his lust as he stared at me. I wasn't ashamed of what he had caught us doing, instead images of him laying in bed listening to our grunts flashed in my mind and my semi-hard cock twitched. Jasper's hand rested possessively on my hip as I moved some pillows against the headboard and patted the bed.

"C'mere," I said to Riley. He came over, sitting down with his back resting on the pillows, his eyes never leaving me.

"Rile, you can't," Jasper reminded him when Riley's hand snuck under his pants.

"I can't fuck, but I can jerk off."

"Or get head," I suggested before I could stop myself. "Just saying."

"Is that an offer?" Jasper asked.

Was it?

I hadn't said the blow job had to be from me, but there was no denying the attraction I felt for Riley, only a few days before I had fought the urge to taste him. My chance to satisfy the base need to explore Riley was sitting in front of me, ready and willing, but it wasn't something I would ever consider doing without Jasper's consent.

"Please let it be an offer," Riley sighed, clearly frustrated.

Ignoring Riley, I sat up and moved to Jasper, resting my forehead against his. "It's only an offer if you're okay with it. If you're not, then I won't do it," I whispered, my desire for Riley was obvious, but never once did my love for Jasper waver. "I love you."

"Love you too," he whispered, drawing me in for a kiss, his tongue tracing my lips before parting them gently and probing my mouth. Regardless of what I had just offered to do, he had no doubt of my love for him, of our bond.

"Ahem," Riley coughed. "Is that a yes or no?"

One long moan later, Jasper broke the kiss and looked over my shoulder at what I imagined was an overly eager Riley. "You've got ten minutes to come, if you don't, then I take over."

"With lips like his, I'll only need five," Riley replied, looking up at me and pulling his pajama pants down over his throbbing erection. I told myself that it was the movement of his hands that drew my attention to his cock, but it wasn't. It was strictly lust. I'd seen it before, the time that Jasper had blown me while Riley jerked off, but it had been covered up by his hand. Riley's cock was almost as long as Jasper's, slightly thicker with a reddening head that already had a drop of liquid beading at the deep slit. Just under the skin, veins ran the length leading down to a set of clean shaven balls. "Suck hard, beautiful."

I crawled over to Riley on all fours and straddled him, keeping my weight off his body. Riley looked at me, then his eyes darted down to my lips. I glanced at Jasper with a raised brow.

"Yeah, you can kiss him."

The words were barely out of his mouth and I was smashing mine to Riley's. Not bothering with the pleasantries of asking for entrance, I shoved my tongue between his willing lips. A deep groan escaped him and he put his hand behind my neck, pulling me even closer. Between my legs, my cock jerked each time his tongue swept across mine, coating my taste buds with his flavor. It was intense, but I knew it was only a fraction of what he was capable of. Breaking the kiss, I moved my lips over his jaw, down his neck and chest, taking a pebbled nipple between my teeth.

"Beautiful, feels wonderful, but we're on a time limit. I need you to get to the good stuff damn fast."

I left kisses along the bruised skin of his torso, enjoying the keening sounds he emitted each time my lips touched him. Finally I reached his cock, once again inhaling his musky scent. Before my lips touched Riley so intimately, I looked at Jasper, wanting to make sure he was certain of what I was about to do. If I saw the slightest hesitation in his eyes, I would stop, and never considering doing it again.

"Jesus, please say yes, please say yes," Riley begged.

Jasper nodded and I slid my eyes back to Riley. With his cock in his hand, he tapped the head against my mouth, dragging it over my bottom lip. Teasingly, I flicked my tongue out and over the flared head, excited when the slight touch earned me a loud moan.

"Open," Riley demanded. My entire body shuddered at the quiet demand, and then I parted my lips and lowered them securely around Riley's cock. "Ohhhh fucccck!"

And with that, I tasted Riley for the first time. His cock was velvet soft as my lips slid all the way to the base, taking his potent flavor. Riley released his grip, his hand moving to fist the bedspread next to him when I buried my nose in the trimmed dark hair that framed his cock and swallowed.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck," Riley exclaimed.

I never felt Jasper move but I heard Riley moan. Raising my eyes, I saw Jasper kissing Riley with an untamed fire I'd never seen before. I watched as Jasper sucked on and took possession of Riley's bottom lip. Since the first night I had met Riley, I knew he and Jasper had been physical, Jasper had admitted it, and even though they had kissed in front of me before, I'd never seen them so frantic and urgent ,or with such a brutal intimacy. Their kiss was a release all on its own. The room filled with more than the scent of our arousals, it filled with the primal, raw energy and lust they created. If that was just from their kiss, I couldn't imagine what happened when they fucked. Lifting my hand from Riley's hip, I placed it on Jasper's thigh and squeezed it, reminding him of me while his tongue explored Riley's wet mouth. Through my lashes, I watched Riley's hand desperately tangle in Jasper's hair as he tilted his head to silently beg Jasper for more. Their carnal need mingled with a possessiveness and familiarity that compared to nothing I'd ever witnessed. It was unique and erotic.

Jesus, it was the hottest thing I'd ever seen.

With my lips around Riley, I moaned and he trembled in response. Encouraged, I bobbed my head faster, sucking, running my tongue over each and every vein, lavishing the entire length of his cock. Jasper broke the kiss and looked down me with swollen lips, the wetness from Riley's tongue glistening on them.

"Someday I'm gonna fuck you so hard, beautiful," Riley vowed in a low, raspy whisper, carding his fingers through my hair.

"Fucking hot," Jasper groaned.

Briefly I wondered if that would ever happen, if Jasper would ever allow it. Then I realized if it did, I would want him nearby, I would want him with me too. I released Jasper's thigh and moved my hand between Riley's spread legs, shoving down under the pajamas to take his heavy balls into my palm.

"Fuck, more," he pleaded, struggling to open his legs wider. Holding his sac, I let his cock slide from my mouth and pushed it up against his lower abs, licking my way down the underside to his balls. Riley purred with each lapping lick I delivered along the wrinkled skin before sucking one into my mouth, his hot skin on my tongue. Moving to the other one, I repeated my actions, encouraged by the complete nonsense Riley babbled as he thrashed his head side to side and arched his back.

"Five minutes," Jasper warned.

"C'mon, beautiful, show me what you got," Riley coaxed. "Let me see what Jasper keeps bragging about."

It made me proud that Jasper bragged about me, to a professional no less. Releasing Riley's sac, I nibbled my way back to his cock, running the flat of my tongue up its length before immediately taking his entire cock into my mouth, swallowing past my gag reflex and deep into my throat. Salvia coated Riley's dick as it twitched inside my throat right before I started bobbing my head with tight suction. Opening my eyes, I saw Jasper whispering in Riley's ear, but I could only hear Riley's breathless replies.

"Fuck yeah, wanna to fuck him so bad." A pause as his eyes almost rolled into his head before settling back on me through laden lids. "So am I."

I didn't know what Riley was referring to, but I took him deep into my tight throat, severing what grasp of control he had left. His body tensed and I knew he was coming. Jasper leaned forward and kissed him, muffling Riley's cries. When his cock pulsed on my tongue, fleeting panic surged through me. My rational mind told me to release him, but my desire to experience all of Riley, to taste everything he had to offer, kept my lips tightly sealed around his cock. At the last second, I pulled away and stroked him hard and fast as his cock sprayed his release onto his chest. I attempted to hold his hips down so he didn't hurt himself, but he bucked against my strength as his orgasm washed through him. While I pumped him, milking his cock, I watched my lover kiss him, as passionate as before, but with tenderness and gentleness as well.

"Does it hurt?" Jasper asked him, pulling away and running a finger over Riley's still healing lips.

"Fuck no," Riley chuckled. "No pain at all." I sat up, my hand still stroking Riley, smiling at the look of sheer bliss on his face. "Beautiful, if that was any indication of what it would be like to fuck you, I'd think we'd spontaneously combust."

I smiled at Riley but it was my lover that I wanted, and I leaned toward him, kissing him as hard as he had Riley, knowing his lips were already bruised from their savage kisses. My tongue tangled with his, sharing the new taste I had acquired, one I suspected he already knew very well. As we continued to kiss, my hands finally left Riley's cock completely to run up Jasper's side and into his hair. When we parted, Riley was already asleep.

"I think you wore him out," Jasper laughed. I got off the bed and returned with a towel to clean a sleeping Riley, then pulled up his pants. Jasper was on his side and I climbed over Riley to join him, falling into Jasper's arms.

"Thank you," I mumbled, snuggling into his neck, breathing in his scent, replacing Riley's musky one. I lifted my head and Jasper's mouth slanted over mine in a crushing kiss, his arms holding me so tightly, his body melding to mine so completely, that any memories of any other man vanished.

The next morning Jasper and I woke alone in the bed, and after a sweet kiss, I slid my body down his and took his erection into my mouth, sucking him hard until he came. We finally stumbled out of bed and found Riley attempting to pour coffee with his shaky hands. Jasper went back to his room to get Riley his morning dose of morphine, storming back into the kitchen a few minutes later and shaking the bottle in front of Riley's shamed face.

"What?" I asked, my brows furrowed.

"There are pills missing. He took three extra ones. What did you do with them? Did you take them all already? Rile, we're trying to help you, but we can't if you're going to go behind our backs and do shit like this. Take those," Jasper pointed to the pills on the table, "no morphine until after lunch."

Riley's shame turned to anger and he glared up at Jasper. "Don't fucking tell me what to do. You don't know shit, asshole. Fuck you and your fucked up childhood," he seethed. "You and fucking wizard can go to hell."

"Rile-" I tried to stop his wrath, but it was useless. Nothing was going to soothe him.

"Fuck off. I don't want someone who can't even walk out of the fucking closet telling me what to do. I might be a fucking addict but at least I don't hide who I am. What would your dear old dad think of last night, huh, Edward? Seeing you suck a whore's cock like it was your last meal?"

There was a sharp ache in my heart at the cruel, truthful words. I wanted to retaliate, to defend myself and fight back, but I pursed my lips and remained quiet. Realizing I wasn't going to challenge him, Riley spun back to Jasper and popped the pills into his mouth.

"Fucking happy now, asshole?"

He was gone, and before I could even bring my eyes to Jasper, we heard the slam of Riley's bedroom door. "He needs rehab," I said quietly to a distraught Jasper, his mussed hair still tangled from my hands.

"I can't afford it, and even if I could, he's not going to go."

"It's only going to get worse," I reminded him, setting my coffee down and putting my forehead to his.

I hoped I was wrong.

Jasper and I moved to the couch where we lay next to each other all day, only getting up to eat and check on Riley, who promptly told us to fuck off. Until Jasper pulled away from me to shower, I had been able to force away the thoughts of him going back to work. I had thought about asking him to take more time off, but he had already been off for a week. The only other option was to reserve him all night, every night, which was a lot more than even I could afford. I had no choice but to sit there and accept that he was leaving me to be with someone else. But it was his work, and I knew that. I knew when I met him, I knew when I feel in love with him, I knew now. I had no idea where Jasper was going, or who he was going to be with, for all I knew it was Peter. After all, he was a client. I didn't like the uneasy feelings that stirred in me as Jasper walked down the hall toward the bathroom, but shoved them away.

No matter where he was going or who he was going to be with, he loved me.

Before he left, he kissed me and I assured him that Riley and I would be fine. One smile later and he was closing the door behind him. I fell back onto the couch, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths to chase away the images of Peter and Jasper naked, limbs entwined as Peter pleased Jasper while whispering how much he loved him. I needed a distraction.

After asking Riley what he wanted for dinner and getting no reply, I shuffled into the kitchen and looked through the refrigerator, pulling out some chicken and vegetables. The chicken was browning in the pan when I felt the first butterfly kiss on the nape of my neck. I hadn't even heard him enter the kitchen, and knowing he was there alone with me sent my hormones soaring. Resisting the urge to lean back into him, I smiled and continued cutting the vegetables. He placed his chin on my shoulder and inhaled deeply.

"Smells good," he mumbled.

"I'm making chicken stir fry, want some?"

His lips were on my neck again and he spoke against my skin. "Food isn't what I want right now."

Glad to see him out of his room, I gave into his harmless flirting. "Oh? What do you want?"

"You," he groaned, snaking his arms around my middle while he left kisses along my shoulders, kisses I felt the warmth of through my cotton tee shirt. "I want to suck you. I want to fuck you. I want to please you in ways you didn't know existed in that closet of yours."

The husky current to his voice was anything but flirting, he meant every fucking word. "Riley…I don't think that's a good idea." I stopped when I his hands landed on my hips and he yanked me back just as he thrust forward. There was no mistaking that the hard cock pressed into my ass was bare. Dropping the wooden spoon onto the counter, I hesitantly reached around behind me and felt his naked torso, skimming my hand down his sleek side, I felt a bare hip and ass.

"Mmm, that's it, Beautiful, touch me," he moaned. Before I could even think to remove my hand from his heated flesh, he had slipped one hand under my tee shirt and was sliding it up my back while his other dipped under the band of my flannel pants.

"Jesus," I cried out as his hand stroked me through my briefs. My cock, which had gone hard the second I realized he was naked, reared under his expert touch and I felt myself leaning against his weight, finally experiencing his touch.

"Since the first time I saw you, I've wanted to taste you, Beautiful. Taste this cock of yours," he murmured with practiced skill. Without any protest from me, he pulled my shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. He wasted no time kissing along my shoulders and up my neck, biting wherever he felt the need.

"Jasper," I whispered, closing my eyes, the protest getting lost in my throat. I wasn't sure if I was trying to remind Riley or myself of my lover.

"Jasper's an amateur, let me show you what a real professional can do," he vowed in a husky whisper, sending a shudder through my body. Something told me not to doubt his words. If his ability to hypnotize me was any indication, then I knew what he promised was not an exaggeration, though I highly doubted Jasper was an amateur. My fingers dug into his thigh as I willingly brought him closer, encouraging the soft thrusts that allowed his cock to rub along my ass. "Feel how hard you are for me? How much you want me? All you need to do is give me the pills. I promise I won't tell Jasper. It will be our secret, Beautiful. He'll never know we fucked."

His voice was so soft and confident in my ear, so fucking seductive that I never stopped him when his hand went under my briefs and his fingers grazed along my cock, flesh on flesh for the first time. Long denied desire surged through me and I weakened. My rational thoughts were fogged, unreadable as he expertly touched me.

"Oh fuck, fuck," I mumbled. Dinner was long forgotten as I turned in his arms and kissed him voraciously, sucking his tongue into my mouth before letting him do the same in a crazy need to keep his pace. Grunting, he pinned me to the counter, grinding his hips into mine, his cock gliding along my clothed one. He bit my stinging lips before moving down along my jaw. My hands explored his back, and forgetting his injuries, I clawed at his skin, forcing him close before reaching up and frantically tugging on his hair.

"Feels so good, Beautiful. Waited so long to touch you freely like this," he moaned in my ear before using my hair to pull my head back and suck on my Adam's apple. A trembled trickled through my body, reaching my toes before working its way back up again. Everything he did, every word he said, was like a powerful drug, and my body hummed with the need for more.

"Just give me what I need and you can have me, Beautiful," he whispered right before he leaned down and took a nipple into his mouth. My head lulled back, thumping against the cupboard, and my chest heaved with breaths as I considered his offer. "I'll do anything you want, anything, and I will do it so much better than him, Beautiful, I swear."

"Fucking Christ," I breathed, my hand on his head forcing his head lower, to where I really wanted his mouth. Both his hands were on the counter next to my hips, caging me there, but it wasn't necessary. I didn't want out.

I irrevocably wanted him.

His hands left the counter and moved to my pants. I jumped when I felt his fingers dancing along the elastic right before he began to lower my pants, his lips following in his finger's wake, leaving kisses on my hip bones and the dusting of hair low on my abs.

"Fuck," I cried out when the cool air washed over my cock as he exposed it and licked his lips. Just as his knees touched the floor and he looked up at me through the longest lashes I'd ever seen, my mind caught up to my body and I realized what was happening. I fisted his hair, pulling on him as just as he leaned forward, preparing to take my cock into his mouth. "No, stop."

"Ssh, it's fine, Beautiful, our secret," he assured me, his thumbs hypnotically stroking my hip bones. "I'll suck you, then fuck you, and then you can get me what I need. We'll both feel really good. I promise."

Need.

Not want.

When I looked, really looked, into his eyes, I saw the hunger there, but while his cock was hard, his hunger wasn't sexual. It wasn't me he wanted, or even needed. It was the drugs. This wasn't about his unquenchable desire for me, it was about getting what he needed. He was an addict, it was what they did, it was what they always did. They lied, cheated, stole, and did whatever they had to do to get what they needed.

"No, Riley," I said more firmly, trying to wiggle away from his hold.

With just those two innocent words, his entire demeanor changed. Gone was the soft, siren voice from before. My eyes went wide as he scrambled to his feet. I hastily pulled my pants up, feeling more exposed then he was, even though he was naked.

Suddenly enraged, he got right in my face. "You're just his fucking puppet, a fucking blind one. You can't even fucking see what's going right under your nose. I can't believe how you're just wrapped around his finger. Just how fucking stupid are you?" He stepped back to admire his handy work, and the shock on my face as I absorbed his words. "You make me sick. Jasper doesn't need you, he needs a real man, not some closeted faggot that can't stand up to his daddy," he mocked me with a wicked smirk. He put more space between us, completely comfortable with the fact that he was still naked.

"In fact, I think Peter is the better man for Jasper. The guy is fucking perfect in every way. You should have seen the way they kissed in my hospital room. It was fucking hot," he moaned and licked his lips for affect.

He might as well have ripped my heart from my chest, his words cut deep, slicing into me painfully. I inhaled sharply, looking away from him and reminding myself that he was just trying to get what he needed, he wasn't trying to hurt me. It still wasn't about me at all. But something told me that he wasn't lying.

That Peter and Jasper had kissed in Riley's hospital room.

"Yeah, you don't like that, do you?" He tilted his head and eyed me. "You don't like them kissing. I bet you don't like them fucking either, huh? Or knowing that Jasper likes it? He's told me how good Peter is, how good his cock feels inside him. Peter loves Jasper, and you know it's only a matter of time before Jasper feels the same way about him."

"Fuck off!" I yelled, still refusing to meet his angry gaze.

"Jasper needs a real man, Edward," he spat my name. "You're such a pussy that you would probably watch them fuck and still not confront Jasper about it. You would just pretend you didn't see someone else's cock in your boyfriend's ass instead of standing up to either one of them like a man."

Each word cut me deeper than the last and he continued, his anger surged through him, providing him with energy he didn't have. I went to leave, but he grabbed my wrist and yanked me back.

"Do you know how many times Jasper and I have fucked? DO YOU?" he roared and I shook my head. "More times than you can count, and each time was amazing. He begs me, pleads me to let him fuck me, to give him what no one else can. Says I'm the best ass he's ever had, and he's had a lot." Then he answered the question I'd wanted to ask Jasper since the night I had met Riley. "Yeah, we've fucked since you two became _boyfriends_. We fuck all the time. Boyfriend or not, in love or not, Jasper will never give up my ass, he will always want to fuck me. You saw it between us last night, I know you did. I felt it. But he's my whore, Edward, and he always will be."

I knew that it wasn't Riley talking, it was the drugs, or lack of them, that made him say the hateful things, but it still hurt like a motherfucker. Straightening, I looked him evenly in the eyes. "Let me go," I said calmly. Smirking, he released my wrist and I sighed, thinking it was over.

I was wrong.

Swiftly, he turned around and with one swipe of his arm, he cleared the plates and glasses from the table, sending them crashing to the ground with shattering sounds. There was a power in him I'd never seen before, like a caged animal desperate to escape. His chest was heaving when he turned back to me, his eyes so dark they were almost black. I jumped aside as he lunged for the counter and pushed everything onto the floor, not even flinching when the pan of hot food clattered to the ground by his feet. I reached to stop him but before I could grab his arm, he contorted himself and with his right hand ripped the bandage off his left side exposing an angry, red gash.

"Happy now?" he screamed. He went to push by me and fell to the floor, an agonizing wail escaping him as he landed on his hands and knees in the broken shards.

Immediately, I crouched beside him. "Riley," I said with one hand on his back and the other wrapping around his forearm. "C'mon." Gasping with tears of remorse already running down his face, he allowed me to help him up and leaned on me as I walked him to the bathroom.

"Edward, I…"

"Sssh," I said. I didn't want his apology, not then. I was too angry, too scared, that the things he had said were right. As quickly as he had become angry, he was calm again. He followed my directions as I sat him on the counter and inspected his incision. "You didn't open it, but I'm going to clean it just in case."

He nodded silently, hissing when pressed a damp cloth to the cut, dabbing at it to make sure there was no dirt, or worse, pieces of broken glass, in it. His head hung low, refusing to look at me as I worked on him. When I was certain it was clean, I dabbed some cream on it and then checked his hands and knees for cuts but found only a few scrapes. I guided him off the counter and into his bedroom. There I picked up his pants and threw them at him. Wordlessly, he put them on and then lay on his bed. I turned to leave and heard a sob behind me.

Closing my eyes, I exhaled a long breath, releasing some of the rage that I had barely contained. The boy behind me was just that, a boy who was hurting and desperate. He'd only been doing what his body told him, what he knew to do in order to get what he craved more than the air he breathed. Spinning, I saw the boy curled up in the fetal position, his face buried in a pillow as he wrapped his arms around his middle as if to keep himself together. A minute later I found myself behind him, my arm protectively around his waist as I whispered in his ear.

"Sleep, sweetheart."

"Don't…don't leave…" he choked out between gasps.

"I'm not going anywhere," I sighed.

It didn't matter if the stuff Riley had said was true, I didn't think I could walk away from either of them.

It didn't take long before exhaustion settled over him and his body relaxed in my embrace, gradually unfolding until he was stretched out beside me. Never once did I close my eyes. I watched over him, keeping my promise of not leaving him.

It was only about an hour later when I heard the front door open and close. It was then that I realized I hadn't cleaned up the kitchen and that Jasper would panic when he saw it. I was right. A few seconds later, I heard him running down the hall, coming to a stop in the doorway.

"You okay?" he mouthed and I nodded. "I'm going to shower."

I nodded again and he left. Placing a kiss on Riley's cheek, I slid my arm from him and gently got off the bed and pulled the blanket up to cover him before going to Jasper's room and sitting on the bed with my face in my hands. Riley's words echoed through me, the cold way they had so easily left his lips.

Jasper returned in nothing but a towel, immediately coming to me and dropping to his knees. I told him what happened, leaving out the details on just how cruel Riley's honesty had been. Jasper laid his head in my lap, it was comforting. I asked Jasper about work and he said he wanted to hold me. I wouldn't get details, and I wasn't even sure why I had asked. I feared what Riley had said was accurate, maybe I was a pussy for not standing up to my father, for not demanding that my boyfriend not fuck other men for a living. Before I could debate Jasper, he was lying on the bed, waiting for me. Numbly, I stripped my clothes and climbed into bed facing him. There was something he needed to know.

I proceeded to tell him about the merger and that its completion meant fewer trips to Seattle, but I promised him I would be back as often as possible. I told him how I had lied to my father. He suggested I come out, tell my family about him and me, tell them everything.

How I wished it was that easy.

Jasper had lost his family at eleven, but even if he hadn't, there was no way he could understand what my upbringing had been. There were few that could sympathize with my position, Spencer being one of them. Jasper never knew the fear of disappointing his parents, the very fear I had lived with from an early age. Since birth it had been nothing but the best for me, the best nannies, schools, and tutors. Each of these things provided me with the best possible education and skill I needed to be number one, and I was. If I wasn't the best, if I didn't succeed at everything I did, I risked letting my father down. Every kid hates that look of disappointment in their parents' faces more than any other, and it was even more severe with me. It was that fear that made me pull all night study sessions, spend my college spring breaks taking intensive classes, and my summers working two internships. My parents loved me dearly, of that I had no doubt, and it was that love that made all that I had sacrificed acceptable. When I graduated high school and college top of my class, with more honors than would fit on my diploma, and saw my parents beam with pride, it made every second of struggle worth it.

I wasn't ashamed to admit I lived to see that look on their faces again.

I knew my position in life was to take over the company and continue my father's legacy. Jasper didn't understand that. To him it was no big deal to be gay, but he had no idea what my life had been like, just like I didn't his. It wasn't as simple as coming out, there was so much more at stake than just my reputation.

After I vowed to Jasper we could webcam and talk on the phone, he kissed me. Our bodies were as close as two people could possibly get, tangled limbs and clutching hands seeking purchase on hair and flesh. As Jasper succumbed to sleep, I remained awake.

There was one thing I hadn't told him.

Japan.

I hadn't told him because the second I had seen Jasper again, the second our lips reunited and I heard his voice, I knew without a doubt, I was not, under any circumstances, going to Japan.

I was cooking breakfast the next morning while Jasper dealt with the aftermath of Riley's explosive behavior. The eggs were done and the sausage was close when I went to Riley's room to tell them. They didn't hear me as I paused in the doorway. Jasper sat on the bed with a naked Riley standing between Jasper's parted legs as he applied a new bandage to the incision. Jasper looked up as Riley cupped Jasper's cheek with his good hand. Other than Riley's nudity, there was nothing sexual about it.

But their connection was there. The spark from a few nights before, while dimed, ignited between them.

"I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what happened," Riley apologized quietly to Jasper.

"You wanted drugs." Jasper's answer was simple.

"I think I said awful things to him," Riley confessed. "I don't remember what, but I know they were awful."

"He understands."

Jasper was right. The words had hurt, they had made me think, but I understood why Riley had said what he did, and felt relieved that he didn't remember details.

"I tried to fuck him, angel," Riley whispered guiltily, his hand brushing back Jasper's hair. Jasper leaned forward and I saw his hands span Riley's hips as he pulled him closer. Jasper's forehead settled against Riley's abdomen and Riley left one hand in Jasper's hair while the other, cast and all, sat on his shoulder. It was a tender and intimate position.

One I had come to realize was a larger part of their relationship than I had first suspected.

Knocking on the frame, I told them breakfast was ready before leaving. I had barely returned to the kitchen when Jasper entered, wrapping me his arms and kissing me thoroughly before sitting at the table. I served Jasper his breakfast and had just finished putting Riley's on his plate when he entered. His head hung low, but his eyes searched mine. He ignored his plate and came over to me, and without a word, laid his head on my shoulder and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"Sorry, Beautiful," he mumbled into my skin and I shivered at the moist heat. "I didn't mean any of the shit I said, I swear."

I glanced at Jasper, who gave me a small smile, and then I put my arms loosely around Riley's waist and kissed his cheek.

"I know. Why don't you eat breakfast," I told him and he lifted his head and nodded. Obediently, he sat the table and took his pills without argument before he began to eat with trembling hands.

That night went much smoother than one the before. Jasper went to work and Riley went to his room. I watched television and worked, even checked in with Bella and Spencer. Jasper arrived home, relieved when I told him the night had been incident free. While he showered the stench of another man off him, I went into our room to undress and was waiting naked on the bed for him when he returned.

I never wanted to imagine what Jasper's work required him to do. Sometimes curiosity got the best of me and I found myself wondering, but deep down, I didn't want to know what happened between him and his clients. But that night, he brought what happened between them home to us, into our bedroom. He turned to toss the towel from his hips in the laundry, and I saw them.

Long, red marks going down the entire length of his back, eight total.

"Your back," I mumbled, shocked that someone had done that, that he had _let_ someone do it, someone that wasn't me.

"It's nothing," he said, turning off the light.

"Someone hurt you," I growled.

"It doesn't hurt. I'm fine."

"What? It's just part of the job?" I snapped.

"Yeah, it is. It's not a big deal," he replied honestly.

A few minutes later, it was me that was dragging my nails down his back, remarking him as mine while he rocked his hips into me, sinking his cock until his balls slapped my ass. Our lovemaking was slow and languid, not one kiss or thrust was rushed until neither of us could hold off any longer. We spent the next several hours making slow love until we came. Exhausted, we passed out in each other's arms.

I woke up to the sound of quiet arguing. Blindly, I reached out next to me and felt a warm, empty spot where Jasper's body should be holding me. Sighing heavily, I reached down and grabbed my pants off the floor before sitting up and shoving them on. Yawning, I stumbled down the hall toward the fighting, trying to focus as it got louder. I stopped at the end of the hall and saw a half dressed Jasper with Riley pinned against the door.

"Well, I fucking do care. I've invested a shitload of money into keeping your ass alive, I'm not going let you throw it all to hell now."

"Just let me go," Riley sighed. "You're better off without me anyway. Just go be with Beautiful and leave me alone."

"No. I'm not leaving you. I fucking love you," Jasper whispered lowly. Riley glanced at me over Jasper's shoulder but Jasper continued. "I'm not letting you leave. We both know I'm stronger and faster than you. If I have to watch over you every fucking second, I will, but you are not fucking stepping one foot outside this apartment."

Riley gave in, collapsing against Jasper as he wrapped his thin arms around my boyfriend's neck and clung to him desperately. Seconds later, sobs wracked his body and Jasper attempted to soothe him. Reaching out, I put my hand on Jasper's shoulder.

"Do you need anything?" I asked him softly.

"No, I'll be in bed in a few minutes."

Nodding, I kissed his cheek, and then reached out and patted Riley's hair before going back to the bedroom. I didn't bother taking off the pants when I climbed back into bed. It didn't matter if I slept clothed. I knew Jasper wouldn't be back.

It was only a few hours later that I opened my eyes and discovered I'd been right. I was alone. Rolling onto my back, I sighed before climbing out of bed and sleepily going to find Jasper and see if he needed help.

They were exactly where I'd left them, only Jasper was sitting on the floor, his bare back against the door, his head tilting to the side to rest on his shoulder. Riley was on Jasper's lap, curled into his body with his head on Jasper's other shoulder and his arm lying across his middle while Jasper's were securely around Riley's frail looking body. Jasper wasn't going to let him go. Even in his sleep, Jasper was keeping his vow to watch over his friend. Upon a closer look, I saw the tear stains on Riley's cheeks under his puffy eyes and my heart broke a little more for him. He looked so young, so innocent for all he'd seen, and yet so weary and old at the same time. The more I studied them together, the more time I spent with them, I began to accept that Riley was right.

Jasper was Riley's whore, and he was Jasper's.

Theirs was a bond that would not be broken.

Not even by me.

Peter wasn't the one I had to worry about taking Jasper from me after all.

Turning from them, I went into the kitchen and started some coffee before looking for something to eat for breakfast. The image of them wouldn't leave my mind. It was intimate in a different way than Jasper and I, but no less important. Riley had a history with Jasper that I couldn't compete with and I accepted that. I had no doubts that Jasper loved me as much as he said, that I was the one that allowed his heart to beat just as he was mine, but I also knew I wasn't alone in his heart, even if I was there for a different reason. I needed Jasper on the most basic of levels, like air and food and sleep, and if I had to accept his work and his intimacy with Riley, and anyone else, to keep him in my life, I would…because any other choice wasn't even an option.

I carried a mug of coffee out to Jasper. "Hey." I waited until my voice broke through his sleep and he opened his eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't make it back to bed."

"It's okay."

And it was. I meant it. I needed Jasper, but Riley needed him more.

"Do you need any help?" I asked, motioning to Riley. When he nodded, I crouched down and brushed my fingers along Riley's soft, bruised cheek. He woke up gradually, stirring for a few minutes before finally opening his eyes. He let me help him off Jasper and down to his room. Jasper followed and we stripped Riley and got him into bed before heading back to the living room. We both fell onto the couch and Jasper laid his head on my shoulder while I put my hand on his thigh.

"It's going to be okay," I said, trying to sound confident.

For two days it remained status quo. Riley only came out of his room to take his pills or shower, barely eating. Sometimes he lay on the couch with me, his head on my lap while I tunneled my fingers through his hair. He never spoke while I did it, only the occasionally sigh before he would get up and go back to his room without even flirty with me once. Jasper went to work at night, leaving me and Riley alone. Returning he would find us on the couch or in Riley's bed, then he would shower and met me in our bedroom where we would make love no matter how exhausted and drained we both were. I would feel the bed dip when he would get out to go to the couch where he would stay to make sure Riley didn't attempt to sneak out again. He didn't think I would notice his absence, but I felt it the second his warmth pulled away from mine.

Friday night started like the others. Jasper kissed me goodbye and went to be with another man while Riley and I stayed behind. Riley was with me on the couch until about ten, then he ambled back to his room and closed the door. Tired, I lay on the couch alone and let my eyes close while I waited for Jasper to return to me. I woke to the weight of his naked body on my back, his erection grinding into my clothed ass. I didn't care that I smelled traces of someone else on him, that his aftershave didn't cover up the fact that he'd just come from having sex with someone else. I loved his weight on me, I loved the possessiveness of it, I loved that he still wanted me even after being with another.

Moaning, I tried to lift my ass to him, inviting him to take me. He reached between us and yanked my pants down allowing his cock to slip into the crack of my ass. Heat surrounded me as his hands reached up and took mine, his lips were at me ear.

"I want to fuck you so hard," he murmured.

I turned my head to reply and he captured my lips in a savage, needy kiss, his tongue diving into my mouth. His hips continued to grind into my ass and he groaned when I spread my legs enough for him to slip closer to my greedy hole. Suddenly, he was gone. Cool air washed over my bare ass and my lips were swollen from his hard kiss. Kicking off my pants, I watched Jasper as he tugged a condom on and slicked his sheathed cock with lube as he walked back to me with a feral look in his eyes. Licking my lips, I got onto all fours, presenting my ass for him to take and fuck. He kneeled behind me, one hand on my hip, stroking it with soothing circles. I lurched forward when I felt the intrusion of his two wet fingers, but rocked back against him as the burn spread through my ass. I barely had time to adjust before his fingers were gone and replaced with the head of his cock pushing eagerly into my ass. In one steady, forceful thrust, he sank into me with deliberate intent, his cock pushing past the tight ring of muscle until it gave way and let him slid deeper into me, stretching me in both pain and delight. By the time he brushed along my gland, I was constantly moaning, the burn long subsiding to pleasure and need. Keeping one hand on my hip, he moved the other to my shoulder, pulling my body back toward him as he slammed into me, each thrust more pounding than the one before it. Keening grunts and groans filled the air as I took every frantic thrust he had to offer. Wrapping an arm around my middle, he draped his body over mine, kissing his way up the knots of my spine before sinking his teeth into my shoulder.

I hung my head, gasping for air between whimpers while he continued to take me. "Fuck me, love, fuck me hard," I begged hoarsely.

"So fucking tight," he groaned.

Looking down the lines of my body, I saw my untouched cock bouncing and slapping my abdomen as I welcome each thrust of Jasper's. I could have easily have shifted my weight and began to stroke myself, but the sweet flicker already igniting low in my groin and the tightening of my balls told me I didn't need to. Jasper fucked me, he took me like an animal with guttural instincts, but the kisses he left along my bitten flesh and the way his fingers lightly danced on my side were anything but fucking. As primal as it was, it was making love as caring and tender as any other time. There was a slight hesitation in Jasper's movement and I lifted my head to ask him if he was all right and that's when I saw him.

Riley was standing only a few feet from me, his cock tenting his pajamas, his hair messy from bed as he stared. I was close to coming I didn't want Jasper to stop, even if it had been my father himself watching us.

"Don't…stop…" I warned Jasper between grunts. Jasper's hips snapped into mine, his cock driving deeper each time. I watched Riley, his eyes focused intently on Jasper before dropping to mine as he swallowed thickly. Holding his gaze, I arched my back, encouraging Jasper to take me even harder.

Getting fucked while Riley watched felt so deviant, decadent, and so fucking right.

I'd never felt so sexually free before, even when I had given Riley the blow job, or when Jasper had jerked me off in a dance club. Having someone watch me getting fucked excited me beyond my darkest fantasies. Part of it was that someone was witnessing the connection, the elementary need that Jasper and I had for each other.

"Such a slut," Jasper mumbled into my skin when I trembled at our audience. "Fucking close."

Dark brown eyes gazed at me with raw emotion, stripped bare of everything he knew except for what he felt for Jasper and me. His cock poking his pants, his chest heaved with his contained desire as he watched me.

Only me.

My eyes fell to his cock level with my mouth and I could almost taste him again. I wanted to suck Riley while Jasper fucked me. Just as I was about to reach up and pulled Riley closer, Jasper's cock struck my prostate and my body let go.

"Fuck! Gonna come!" I cried out wantonly. I lifted my eyes back to Riley's as my body tensed and my climax surged through me viciously. Without having been touched, my cock pulsed and sprayed milky cum onto the couch below me. My eyes screwed shut as I gave into the ripples of sensations ebbing through me in sated waves. Jasper dropped his forehead onto my back when the spasms of my ass clenching around his cock became too much and he came, his body erratically jerking as his orgasm roared through him and his cock emptied into the condom.

When I opened my eyes and lifted my head, Riley was gone.

Jasper and I collapsed onto the couch, our panting breaths filling the air that seconds before had been filled with grunts and cries of pleasure.

"Should we go check on him?" I breathed into the leather under my cheek.

"No," Jasper shook his head. "I just want to go to sleep with you."

Climbing off me, he took the condom off and held his hand out for me. I took it and let him lead me to the bathroom. We cleaned up, Jasper wiped off the couch, and then he did just what he wanted.

He took me to bed.

That night I slept so well I barely felt him leave our bed to watch over Riley.

We were in the kitchen cooking breakfast the next morning, moving easily and comfortably around each other in a routine we had come to adopt over the week.

Suddenly Jasper said, "You should stay here. Say fuck Chicago and move in with me."

He said it lightly, teasingly, but we both knew he meant every word. He wanted me there with him every day. But I couldn't. I had obligations and family in Chicago, and those were things I couldn't give up.

"Love, my work…" I began but stopped. It didn't matter what I said, what excuses I made, me staying in Seattle wasn't going to happen and we both knew it.

We spent the rest of the day, until Jasper had to leave for work, on the couch, constantly touching and reassuring each other that at least for a few more hours we were still together. Jasper's long nights caught up with him and he fell asleep in my arms and I watched him. He was beautiful even in his sleep, serene and innocent with his lips parted and his jaw relaxed. It was easy to see what drew people to him, how he had two men in love with him.

My heart skipped a beat as I remembered Peter. Because Jasper had been in my arms every day and night, I hadn't thought much about Peter since Riley had mentioned him. It was only when Jasper left for work that I would get a flare of fear that it could be Peter he was going to see. I never asked of course, I never even told Jasper I knew about him.

Riley was right, I was a pussy.

Not only did i not want to taint our time together with arguing about someone else, I didn't want to confront Jasper for fear he would confirm my worst suspicions. Suspicions that always faded the second he returned home to me, to my arms, my heart. Jasper was mine, body and soul, and I knew it, I just had to trust that he knew it too. I needed him with me all the time, alone and solely mine. I didn't want to share him anymore. I placed my cheek on his shoulder, his hair tickling me as I closed my eyes and held his warm body closer. The thought of being separated from him tore at my soul, exposing the vulnerable part that knew I couldn't survive, much less breathe, without him daily. Leaving the next day was going to physically hurt, it was a pain I had begun to grow used to, but it never got easier.

But we didn't have to be apart.

We could be together if…if Jasper moved to Chicago. It was a reckless and stupid idea, and one that had been in the back of my mind for some time but I hadn't dared given too much thought to because I was afraid of all that went with it. Of course he would live with me, and there would be no hiding him from my friends, colleagues, and family. They would wonder about the handsome, single blond man that I took as a roommate when I could clearly afford to live alone.

No, if Jasper came back with me, I would have to come out.

I would have to face my father and tell him I was gay.

My eyes closed at the image, the disappointment that would surely appear on my father's face and the hurt on my mother's. It would be difficult to see them unhappy with me, but I know how proud of me Jasper would be, and that alone would ease the pain. There was a heaviness in my chest when I thought about the consequences that my selfish need for Jasper would cost my father's company, one he had spent his life building. Could I bring it down by walking out of the closet holding my lover's hand? Could I bring that onto my father and his associates? Was being with Jasper worth it? They were same questions I had been asking myself for a few months, but faced with the reality of leaving and not seeing him for some time made me consider the possible outcomes a lot more carefully.

He stirred next to me, settling back into me as I spooned him from behind. There was a slight smile on his lips, as if he knew what I was considering and he was encouraging me in his own way.

I heard Riley leave his room and enter the bathroom and I sighed.

If there was one thing that held Jasper back from going with me, it was Riley. I knew there was no way Jasper would leave his friend, not after the utter devotion I'd witnessed the past few days. Smirking, I wondered what my parents would say if Riley moved to Chicago too. Not only was their son gay, but he was a slut. My body shook with the ridiculous image and I laughed at the thought of bringing Riley to work and showing him around. Cullen Pharmaceuticals would never been the same. But what Riley needed wasn't anything I could ever provide, he needed professional help. Not that Riley would ever go, but there were rehabs in Chicago, maybe Jasper could get him into one there, but there was still the issue of paying for it. Bringing my escort boyfriend home was one thing, bringing along his addict friend and telling them I was paying for his rehab was something else entirely.

Then there was Jasper's career. Would Jasper leave his work? Would living with me squash his need for independence and supporting himself? I had more than enough money for us to live without him ever having to work again, but that wasn't Jasper, and it never had been.

It didn't matter. Even if he worked for an escort service in Chicago, at least he would be coming home to me every night. It would difficult, but we could make it work, we had already been through so much. Something that had taken me years to gather the courage for was easy when faced with the reality of not seeing Jasper for several weeks or months on end. I had struggled with the decision for a long time, and with one look at the body that housed the soul that was etched into mine, I realized I could do it. I could face the consequences, no matter how bad they might be. As long as Jasper was by side, holding my hand along the way, I could do it.

When Jasper's fingers tightened around mine in his sleep, my mind was made up.

I was going to ask him to come back with me to Chicago, and if he did, I was going to come out.

Exhaling a long, ragged breath, I kissed his cheek. I was going to risk everything I'd ever known for the boy lying in my arms. "God, I fucking love you," I whispered to him before letting myself get lulled by his even breaths.

I woke him up in time for him to leave for work, kissing him before he left, holding true his promise to return in less than two hours.

The first hour I spent cleaning the kitchen, then cooking dinner for Riley and me. I knocked on his door and told him dinner was done only to get a muffled, "I'm not hungry," in reply. Sitting at the table, I ate alone. As soon as I was done, I put the dishes in the sink and then went to the bathroom, thinking a long shower might relieve some of the stress. I started the water and peeled off my clothes before stepping under the steaming spray. Leisurely, I washed my body and hair, rinsing far longer than necessary under the scalding water. It wasn't until it began to run cold that I decided it was time to get out. Turning off the water, I grabbed a towel and dried off, rubbing it over my hair until was almost dry and sticking up everywhere. Tossing the towel aside, I pulled on the underwear and pajama bottoms I'd brought in with me. Just as I went to brush my teeth, I heard movement in the hallway. Curious, I peeked around the corner, but saw nothing.

Then I heard the sound of a deadbolt sliding.

"Fuck," I growled, running down the hall. "Riley!"

Dressed in nothing but his skimpy underwear, he turned to look at me, but then went back to opening the door. Just in that few seconds I saw a wild panic in his eyes, the same one from the night he'd tried to seduce me. His hands shook so much he couldn't even get the chain out so he just opened the door, yanking it when it wouldn't open more than a few inches.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he chanted in time with each pull on the door. Surprisingly strong for his small frame, he jerked it with all of his might, but the solid lock never gave way.

"Hey," I said calmly as I placed a hand on his shoulder.

I didn't even have a chance to react before he turned, his right hand fisted as he swung his body around, drilling his hand into my face just under my eye. Pain ripped through my entire face, but before I could defend myself, he landed another less powerful blow on my jaw and the metallic taste of blood immediately seeped into my mouth. Before he could pull back and take another swing, I grabbed his wrist and jerked it down, spinning him around in one motion. With his back to me, I wrapped my arms around his torso, pinning down his own arms with all my strength. Using me as leverage, he lifted himself off the floor, kicking and thrashing against my hold.

"LET ME GO!" he yelled. "GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME!"

"Riley, it's me, it's Edward, it's Beautiful," I repeated lowly in his ear when his head wasn't swinging back and forth. Ignoring me, he kept trying break the embrace by pushing against my body with his lower half while pulling forward with his upper body. Before he could throw us both off balance and throw us to the ground, I dragged him, literally kicking and screaming, to the living room where I lowered us to the floor.

"He's coming for me, I need to get out of here. Don't you see the walls closing in!" He made no sense but I found my eyes darting to the walls anyway. "Where is Angel? What did you do with him? You're taking him away from me."

I was surprised at his words. There was no way Riley could have known what I'd decided, but maybe he sensed it, maybe he knew something was happening even before I'd decided to ask Jasper to go with me.

"Sssh, Riley, it's me, it's Beautiful, it's okay, everything's okay. I promise I'm not taking him away from you. Angel's just at work, he'll be back soon," I tried to reassure him as I sat with him between my legs, which I hooked over his to contain him further. His head made contact with mine a few times and I flinched at the sharp pain that once again throbbed on the entire left side of my face. Protecting myself as much as I could, I lowered my face to his shoulder and tightened my arms around him even more. Desperate to get free, he never stopped fighting me, he squirmed, jerked and twisted, never once giving up the fight he had in him.

"STOP!" I yelled, hoping to shock him into realizing it was me he was battling. I never saw or heard the door swing open but I heard Jasper as he ran over to us.

"He's here, angel's here, he can help you, let him help you," I murmured in Riley's ear.

"Let me the fuck go, you fucking closeted faggot," Riley cried. Jasper dropped to his knees and took Riley's hands into his.

"Riley," Jasper said softly.

Instantly I felt a difference in the boy I held. He hardly calmed, but his body instinctively responded to Jasper's voice and touch.

"Not real, not real, not real," Riley repeated.

"I'm here, Rile, I'm real."

"Angel?"

"Yeah, it's me," Jasper replied quietly. Riley stopped, the fight in his body left him and he stilled against me. Confident Jasper could handle him, I loosened my grasp, not surprised when Riley broke free and lunged at Jasper, throwing his arms around Jasper's neck and burying his face. Exhausted, I hung my head and took in large gulps of air.

"I'm so sorry, so sorry, I didn't mean it, please don't make me leave," Riley mumbled into Jasper's skin.

"Sshhh, it's okay," Jasper soothed until I lifted my head and he saw the bruise I could feel covering my eye. "Oh shit. Baby, are you okay?" He reached for me, running a finger gently over my eye and lips.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You got him? I'm going to go clean up."

When he nodded sadly, I stood up and went to the bathroom. I wet a washcloth and pressed the cold against my eye, wincing at the pain. I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering how the hell I was going to explain a black eye and fat lip to my parents and colleagues. Leaning closer to the mirror, I inspected the damage, the bruising already tinting the skin around my eye with nasty shades of blue and green, although it didn't extend as much as it felt like it had and it wasn't too inflamed. My lip was swollen and I dabbed at the blood in the corner until I exposed the slice in the flesh underneath. Convinced no matter how much cleaning I did, it wasn't going to get any better, I grabbed my small bag on the counter and pulled out a small bottle of aspirin. Popping two into my mouth and cupping some water in my hands, I swallowed them.

I stopped in Riley's doorway and saw him and Jasper on the bed, much in the same way I had been containing Riley in the living room, only Jasper was succeeding. Riley was completely calm except for the constant trembling of his body. Jasper was the only one that could break through the darkness that threatened and encompassed Riley. When Riley realized I was there, he looked away, hiding his face from me. I said nothing as my eyes drifted from him to Jasper. Conflict raged in his eyes, much like my own, as he held his friend, the one he was beginning to realize was beyond his help. I held Jasper's gaze for a long moment. I tried to smile encouragingly, but my lip stung. Instead of going in there, instead of smiling, instead of anything, I slowly turned and left.

In our bedroom, I took off my pants before crawling into bed and pulling the blanket up to my waist. Clasping my hands behind my head, I stared up at the ceiling and waited for Jasper. It was our last night together, and I hated that precious seconds were ticking by and we were separated, but I also knew that right then Riley needed Jasper more than I did. The boy's life was falling apart around him, everything he'd known for the past four years was changing, and starting a new life was just as scary as giving up an old one. It was a fear I knew well, and was feeling at the thought of giving up my safe closeted life for one of being out and openly gay. I wanted to rush into Riley's room and cuddle with him, tell him I knew exactly how scared he was, because I was too.

When I began to feel overwhelmed with the thought of coming out, images of Jasper and I in Chicago raced through my mind, places I wanted to take him, sights I wanted to share with him, people I wanted him to meet. I knew Bella would love him, and Emmett would love to have someone else to tease, although I was pretty sure Jasper would give it right back. I wanted to walked along the lakeshore hand in hand with Jasper, I wanted to see him bundled up with a hat and scarf on a brisk, wintery day, I wanted to see him eat deep dish pizza and stare in awe at the Sears Tower. As much as I wanted to do all those things and more, could I? Could I bring Jasper to work functions, assuming I still had a job, and introduce him as my boyfriend? What kind of shame would I bring down my family if they knew the truth about Jasper and not just my relationship with him?

With each hard thump of my heart, all those doubts swirled and thundered through me, each one weighing more heavily than the last, until finally the biggest doubt of all appeared. It wasn't my father's disappointment or losing my job. No, my biggest doubt was in the form of a frightened boy.

Riley.

If Jasper didn't go back to Chicago with me, I knew it would be because of Riley. I didn't want to take Jasper away from Riley, or his work, but for my sanity, and possibly Jasper's too, I needed him with me, by my side at all times. But in the real world, what we wanted and what we needed rarely met.

My face still ached from Riley's punches, my body swam with exhaustion, and yet there was no place I would rather be. I wasn't sure how much time passed before my eyes slowly closed and my body became heavy as sleep started to take me. Just as I was about to give in to it, I heard footsteps in the hall and I pried my eyes open in time to see my beautiful boy come back to me. He entered and with a smile, grabbed Teddy off the table, and after promising to return, left again. My heart was readying to give up on his return when he walked back in and sent my blood rushing back through me again.

He closed the door and undressed before he fell into my open arms. Lying on his side facing me, he reached up and outlined the bruise forming around my eye. I explained how I'd found Riley, how I had tried to stop him and he hit me. He apologized for leaving me alone, but then said that Riley had agreed to go to rehab. Relieved, my heart skipped a beat, but then concern settled back in when Jasper asked about the cost. Before he could ask me, I told him I couldn't pay for it. Even if I knew the words to be true, they still hurt to admit. After all, I was Edward fucking Cullen, I could do anything, right? Except come up with forty thousand dollars in cash. No matter what possible solutions quickly raced through my head, there was no way for me to access that kind of money without sparking attention. The press was going to have enough of a field day with Chicago's Most Eligible Bachelor coming out, much less if they found out I was paying for the rehab for a gay hooker. Even the best PR firm in the country couldn't put a positive spin that story.

I liked Riley, perhaps more than I should, but apparently even Edward fucking Cullen had limitations. Like Riley, I felt trapped. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't. If tried to help, I would surely get caught, bringing even more shame to my family, but if I didn't help, I was leaving Jasper with almost insurmountable odds.

But maybe not. I knew what Jasper made an hour, there was no way he was pulling in less than four thousand a week. I also knew he had no bills to speak of, his apartment, cell phone, utilities, even his clothing, we all paid for by the Service. Jasper didn't seem to spend a lot, so I had to assume he had saved a good portion of his income. He probably had most of the money he needed already. If he only needed another few thousand…

But before I could offer, he cut me off.

"And paying for rehab for a whore wouldn't go over well at the family barbeque would it?" he struck back.

His honest words stung and caught me off guard. So much that I could only mumbled, "I'm sorry," before looking away, ashamed.

"No, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to ask. He's not your responsibility," he said quietly.

"But he is yours."

We both knew he was, just like we both knew what was happening right then. "Jasper, no matter what happens tonight, or tomorrow, or next year, you've given me the best memories of my life."

I don't think I'd ever spoken truer words, except to tell him I loved him. As my fingers stroked his lower back, he asked me to make love with him. I wanted nothing more. Suddenly worries about rehab and coming out were forgotten. There was a new kind of desperation in the urgent, but tender way, our hands and mouths touched. We didn't kiss for pure pleasure, we didn't run fingers through hair or grind against each other in the burning way we did to come. This was different.

Each delicate dancing touch was a tangible goodbye. Each flicker of a tongue was a marking of a memory.

Something grew between us, more powerful than ever before. It was sad, it was relief, it was joy, all mingled and joining our hearts together, synchronizing their beats until our breaths matched and we could do nothing but stare at each other. Even without asking, I knew he felt it too, I knew his breath was as stolen as my own. I fingered his dampened waves and his eyes drifted closed.

"So soft," I murmured before kissing him.

He rolled me onto my back, pressing me into the mattress as he ground his hips into mind and kissed his way down my neck. Putting his forehead on mine, he cradled my head and then swiftly rolled us until I was on top of him, settling between his legs. Sensuously I circled my hips into his, our lips barely parting for breaths before reuniting in crushing, hard kisses. The slice in my lip stung every time our mouths met, but the pain only served as a reminder that he was there, that he was real.

"Gotta stop, gonna come," he mumbled and I lifted my head.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"Yeah, I want to be inside you when I come."

"I want you inside me too," I agreed, reaching for the lube and condoms sitting on the table next to the bed. Moving from under me, he propped himself up with the pillows and put on the condom I handed him. When I returned to him, he flipped me onto my back and I lay against his chest while my legs fell on either side of his. I squirted lube on his fingers and watched with anticipation as he reached down and stroked my cock with his cool, slick fingers. While he pumped me with one hand, he nudged my legs farther apart and teased my entrance with his middle finger of his other.

"Please," I begged, watching him touch me. By the time his finger entered me, I was writhing on his hard chest, pressing down on his finger while thrusting up into his tight fist. His breaths were heavy and wanton in my ear as we both watched the way he manipulated my body, he played and worked it until I couldn't stop trembling.

"You're so beautiful, baby," he murmured into my ear.

_Baby._

"Say it again," I whispered.

"Baby," he breathed. "You're my baby. Only you…"

Impatiently, I fucked myself on his finger, I need so much more than that. With a groan, he slid his finger out and gripped my hips, shifting me so that the head of his length was pressing against my eager hole. Turning my head, I captured his lips in a searing kiss as I lowered myself onto his cock until I was filled and completely surrounded by him. Wrapping an arm around his neck, I fisted his hair, moaning into the kiss as I pressed down on him even more.

We were one again, in body, in heart, in every way that two people could possibly connect. Sweat glistened on our bodies, our tongues lavished each other, and yet there was something evanescent about what we were doing, something words could not explain.

"Only yours," I vowed.

_Forever._

I began to move, letting his hands guide my hips onto his cock each time as my focus moved to kissing him. Strong arms wrapped around me, holding me firmly to him, and I knew it was more than my body he didn't want to let go. We continued with agonizingly measured movements for what seemed like hours until we could no longer contain the raw need to come. My cock throbbed painfully with that very need, slapping against my abdomen with every rock of our hips.

"Make me come, love," I whispered into the fraction of space that separated us.

He did as I asked, his hand gripping me tightly as he steadily pumped my ass with an out of control need that transcended lovemaking or sex. It was more like a mating of souls rather than bodies, souls that required each other to survive. Pure, unfiltered need poured out of Jasper and seeped into me.

"That's it, baby, take what you need," he murmured, and I did, rocking my hips up into his fist erratically. No matter how leisurely we had gone before, our pace became frantic and beyond control for either of us. Our hips slammed together as he bucked up into me while I pounded down onto him. His hand never slowed over my cock as we kissed and he felt my impending climax building low in my belly.

"Look at me," he commanded reverently.

Opening my eyes, I showed everything he meant to me, how much my life had changed since he'd knocked on my door. In my eyes, he saw our history, and all the love that encompassed it, even long before we had realized what it was. As the last image of our history passed, I saw a flicker in his blue eyes as he gasped when I showed him our future. I showed him the images of us in Chicago, the winters, the lake, our new home, of us entwined, sated in bed together.

It was…a life in love and together.

"I love you…"

I think I said it, but his lips moved as well.

Holding his gaze, baring my soul to him, I came. My orgasm hit me hard, the waves that had been growing crested and washed over every part of me. In his hand, my cock twitched, then released onto my abdomen and his hand as he dragged it up and down my length. I smashed my sore lips to his while my climax continued to roll through me until it left me a quivering mess in his arms.

"Need to come," he moaned.

I began to slid my body over his, engulfing his cock in my tight channel until I saw his eyes burn with the same desire mine had only seconds before. I felt him pause, wanting to delay the inevitable for as long as possible, the longer we made love, the longer we were connected. Dropping my head onto his shoulder, I locked eyes with him once again.

It was his turn to share his visions with me. He exposed how much he'd grown since meeting me, discovering love and trust and desire beyond what he'd ever known before. Most of all he promised me that no matter where our futures led us, we would never truly be apart, our lives and souls and memories were forever entangled.

Letting go of my hips, he wrapped both arms around me in a crushing embrace. "I'm coming, baby."

His orgasm rocketed through is body and I kissed him again, sharing his ecstasy and letting it fall in time with my own. Long after his cock had emptied inside me, his body still convulsed with aftershocks and we kissed and held hands. Neither of us wanted to move, instead he gently eased his cock from me and quickly took the condom off before his hands were back on my body, joining mine as they traveled jointly over sweaty skin. My fingers played with his watch, twisting the metal over his wrist and tracing the crystal face. Even though it signified the passing of time, something that neither of us wanted to admit, he kissed my cheek and promised to ever take it off. I knew he meant it.

"What time does your flight leave?" he asked sadly.

"Around one," I replied, just as sad.

"I hate it when you leave me," he confessed softly.

"I'm not leaving _you_, Jasper. You know that." I wasn't leaving him, I was going back to Chicago, but to him they were same, the end result was our separation.

"Do you think of me when you're not here?"

"Every minute of every day," I replied without hesitation. Unable to handle the words, he went to look away, but I put my fingers under his chin and forced him to hold my gaze. "Love, I want you by my side all the time. If it were up to only me, you would be with me. Where I could touch you, kiss you, _see_ you."

"You mean when you're not around other people," he snapped.

It was a fair comment, and one I deserved after months of keeping us a secret and years of keeping my life a secret. But given my recent revelations, his accusation no longer rang true.

"Jasper, you have no idea how fucking wrong you are," I countered. I didn't want to explain why he was wrong, that I was going to come out if he came home with me. His decision to come with me shouldn't be one made from guilt, and that's exactly what it would be. Jasper had wanted me to come out for months, and if he knew I was planning it if he came back with me, he would go with me for that reason alone.

And that wasn't the right reason.

"You can't exactly bring your ex-hooker boyfriend to your company functions now can you? This isn't Pretty Woman, Edward. You are not my knight in shining armor here to save me from a lifetime of prostitution," he sighed.

"What if I was?" I blurted.

It was now or never. Our futures sat within my grasp, I just had to extend the hand to him and hope like fucking hell that he grabbed and walked out of that closet by my side. I couldn't do it without him.

"What are you saying?" he asked tentatively.

"The other day you said I should stay here with you-" I began.

"I know you can't, I was jus-"

"Jasper," I interrupted, taking a deep breath. "Come home with me."

"We are home," he almost smiled.

"Home with me to Chicago. I'm tired of seeing you like this, this part-time shit. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I know what I'm asking. You've got a life here, and I'm asking you to give it up for me. I know that. But, damn it, I love you. I want you in my life every day," I ranted quietly, desperately.

My heart beat with hope as he savored my offer, and all that it meant for us both. I wasn't sure either of us comprehended the enormity of what it would mean for us both. But while I acted on love and impulse, Jasper stepped back and rationalized.

Sighing, he rested his temple to mine. "I love you too, Edward. But…"

Before he spoke it, I already knew his answer.

"Riley," I supplied for him and he nodded.

When Jasper had told me that Riley had agreed to rehab, a spark of hope for our future had ignited in me. I knew Jasper's proclivity to protect his friend would keep him in Seattle, but with Riley safe and begin cared for in rehab, Jasper would be free. Jasper would want to visit of course, but if I was out, flying Jasper back and forth to Seattle weekly wouldn't be a problem. Maybe I could even go with him a few times.

"Baby, even if there was no Riley, you can't bring me home. What about your parents? Your work? This is the real world, not some fairy tale," he whispered.

His words hit home, opening my core and reminding me of the potential meltdown I was going to cause. At the same time, I let myself imagine a perfect future, one where my family welcomed Jasper, past and all, into their home and lives without doubt or hesitation. Perhaps it was silly, perhaps it was nothing more than a dream, but it gave me a flicker of hope.

"Some fairy tales come true, love. Sometimes they do live happily ever after," I implored.

"And sometimes they get killed by the dragon," he countered softly.

Closing my eyes, I sighed. Everything he said was right, I was foolish for thinking I could make it work in Chicago. An escort and his rich boyfriend only happened in the movies, not reality, and certainly not ours. My heart tightened, already aching with the thought of not having him within my reach, I couldn't survive without him, without hope for us.

"Don't give up on me, on us," I begged.

"I'm not. I won't. I promise."

"Because I'm not sure there is a me without you," I murmured into his neck, my voice weak from the tightening in my chest.

"There is. And he is beautiful and intelligent, confident and loving," he returned.

But none of that mattered if he wasn't sharing my life with me. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do without you? The thought of not seeing for a day hurts, but when I try to imagine weeks…."

"Just remember to breathe…" he said with a smile. "It's all I'm going to do."

I almost laughed. If it was so simple, why the fuck did it seem so difficult?

"Edward, will you remember me?" he asked suddenly.

It scared me. Did he think I would ever forget him over the span of a few weeks or a month? But we both knew that wasn't what he meant, and that was what frightened me. As if any amount of time would be long enough to wipe him from my memory.

"Even fifty years from now I will still remember you," I vowed before brushing my lips across his.

"Even when you fall in love again?"

When. Not if.

Hitching in my throat, my breath stalled, unable to escape past the lump that had formed with the finality of his question. I wanted to scream at him, shake him until he realized I would never love another, that it would take many years for my heart to heal if my blue-eyed, blond-haired beautiful first love was no longer in my life.

With his words, he was giving me the freedom to guiltlessly move on in his absence. What he didn't understand was that I had no interest in doing that, that I would never do that. I couldn't tell him that though. I couldn't lay that kind of guilt on him, forcing him into a decision he wasn't comfortable with simply because I would never love again. If he needed to hear me say the words, to let him go as he seemed to be me, then I would do it. It would kill me, but for him, I would do it. Looking into the most amazing eyes I'd ever seen, I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I sighed.

It didn't matter. All the plans I had made, that I was faithfully his forever, that I planned to come out. None of it mattered. He might have been in my arms, but he was already gone.

"Even then," I whispered my promise, even against my own beliefs. There was a slight nod of relief before he put his temple to mine and closed his eyes.

With his head against mine, his breath sharing the same air, his fingers laced with mine on my abdomen, we remained in the same position as we had made love in. Our bodies were sated, our hearts were heavy and the clock ticked away our time together. The darkness hid our tears, but I felt his damp cheek against my head and knew my own were dropping onto his chest. I didn't even attempt to stop them or shield them from him. We shared everything in our lives, our histories, our bodies, our hearts, and now we shared one last sleep together.

For one last night, he was mine.

And forever, I was his.

Before sleep covered me, I heard his sweet voice mumble, "G'night, my sweet Prince Charming."

"**~~**"

My family had a fucking lot of money. I could get almost anything and everything I wanted. It had been that way almost my entire life. But no matter how much I wanted it, prayed for it to not happen, or refused to believe it would, dawn still fucking broke a few hours later, bathing our tangled bodies in a weak spring sunlight. Jasper was already awake. Even though his eyes were still closed, I could feel his breaths lighten as he neared consciousness. Other than the blanket I had pulled over us in the middle of the night when I was cold, we were in the exact same position we had fallen asleep in. The same position I wanted to remain in. I felt secure and loved and…alone when the reality of leaving in a few hours began to overwhelm the first few seconds of wakefulness. His nose nuzzled my jaw and his breath warmed my neck when he sighed, coaxing me from my sleepy state. When he kissed along my neck, I couldn't refuse the shiver that rocked me from his light touch. Turning my head toward him, I slowly opened my eyes.

"Hey, love."

"Hey, baby. Sleep okay?"

"I always do when I'm with you. You must be sore though." He hadn't moved all night, and my weight had kept him pressed to the pillows behind him.

"Not really," he lied and caressed my bruise. "How's your eye?"

"It's fine, doesn't hurt at all. Makes me look tougher," I smiled.

"How are you going to explain to your family?"

It was a legitimate question, only I had only briefly considered. "I'll just say I walked into a door, or I could make Emmett proud and tell him I got into a bar fight. Is Riley okay?"

"He was up a few minutes ago. I'll check on him later, right now I just want to be with you."

Four hours. We had four hours until my flight.

Instead of getting up and showering like we should have, we remained there, our bodies touching from head to foot. I was comfortable, I wanted to stay there for the rest of my life. I thought back to the beach, to Jasper asking me if we were somewhere over the rainbow as we had watched the waves ebb before us. We hadn't been though, but there in Jasper's bed, in his arms with sweat and dried cum on me, was _my _somewhere over the rainbow. I began to sing in a whisper.

"Somewhere over the rainbow  
Way up high,  
There's a land that I heard of  
Once in a lullaby."

He picked up and we continued together, our eyes never leaving our entwined hands.

"Somewhere over the rainbow  
Skies are blue,  
And the dreams that you dare to dream  
Really do come true."

When the song ended, I kissed him, doing anything to delay having to face what we both knew what had to be done. Regretfully, we got out of bed and headed for the bathroom. The kisses started off as comfort for the ache we both suffered, but they quickly grew in intensity, lips mashing together as our wet bodies slid along each other. Pulling his lips from mine, he kissed his way down my soaked body until he was on his knees with my cock as deep in his throat. I came so hard, so loud, that I was sure it could be heard from anywhere in the apartment. Before he'd swallowed the last stream, I was pulling him up and furiously stroking his cock. His head fell onto my shoulder as he watched my hand work him and he fucked my fist. He came as hard as I did, spraying his cum onto the shower floor. I never wanted the shower to end.

I never wanted us to end.

I couldn't do it, I was weak, I needed him with me, I need to show him how sincere my offer to come to Chicago was.

After we were dressed, Jasper went to the kitchen while I went straight to his laptop, immediately logging into my airline account and ordering a first class one way ticket to Chicago for Jasper dated a week from then. My heart raced as I hit the submit button, I was scared as fuck, and yet, I'd never be more certain of anything in my life. I was going to change my life for him, I was ready to change it.

It was as simple as I loved and needed him.

Satisfied, I smiled at the confirmation page, then printed out the page. Even though my mind was made up, I still needed time to prepare myself for what I was sure his answer would be. When the paper was done, I went to our bedroom and put it on top of my packed bag before joining him and Riley in the kitchen.

Riley's back was to me as I walked in, his shoulders hunched forward as his head hung low over the table. Bending over, I kissed his hair before pouring myself a cup of coffee. I turned and went to Jasper, unable to resist the pull of his body for mine, more powerful than any magnet. He pushed his chair back and I sat on his lap, slumping against him in his loose embrace.

"He feels bad," Jasper told me, motioning to Riley, who was hiding behind his curtain of hair.

"I might feel bad, but I'm not deaf," Riley challenged. His words might have been defiant, but his demeanor was anything but. He needed forgiveness.

"Riley," I said, waiting for him to acknowledge me. It was a long few minutes before he finally raised his eyes from the plate to my face.

"Oh, Jesus," Riley gasped when he saw the bruise and fat lip.

"I'm fine, it's nothing," I tried to reassure him.

"I'm sorry, Beautiful. I didn't mean to."

"I know, it's okay."

Finally, he pushed his plate away and lifted his head, silently inviting me over. Kissing Jasper's cheek, I accepted Riley's invitation and stood up. Riley pushed his chair back and I moved to his lap, immediately wrapped in his arms, the same ones I had pinned to him the night before.

"So sorry," he murmured into my neck. Sighing, I tucked his hair behind his ears, exposing his innocent face.

"I want to see those pretty eyes before I go," I told him, kissing his forehead.

Our last hour together was spent on the couch, cuddling as Riley told me stories about him and Jasper on the streets. It was the shortest hour I'd ever lived and when it ended, I silently got up and went to the bedroom and gathered my things. At the door, I opened my arms and waited for Riley to step into them before embracing him, my mouth at his ear.

He had a hard few months ahead of him, but he was as strong as any seasoned board member I'd ever faced, he was feisty and determined and while his addiction was a weakness, I knew his strong soul would ultimately win the battle. After all, he was Riley, and nothing kept Riley down. He was a breath of fresh air in my stagnant life, so different from anyone I'd ever met before. Holding him one last time and saying goodbye to him wasn't easy, but for both our sakes, I choked back my emotions, knowing if I lost it with Riley, I could never walk away from Jasper.

"I'm so proud of you, I know you can do it," I whispered. He nodded against me and I felt his hesitancy to let me go, but he finally released a long staggered sigh and lifted his eyes. I kissed his forehead. "Good luck, gorgeous. Stay strong."

"Bye, Beautiful," he muttered, reaching up with a finger to the bruise on my face. Looking over Riley's shoulder, I saw Jasper.

My beautiful, strong Jasper who was doing everything physically possible to contain himself, stood there with moisture brightening his eyes.

"Take care of him for me, okay?" I asked Riley.

If Jasper said no, if he didn't want to be with me, I couldn't bear the thought of him alone. He was going to need someone. They had watched over each other on the streets, I hoped Riley could get him through again.

"I will," Riley promised right before pressing his lips to mine in a final act of goodbye. I traced the seam of his lips with my tongue, not surprised when he immediately parted them and welcomed me inside. His hands clutched at my shirt as he deepened the kiss until I pulled away, my cheeks hot and my breath short.

Smirking, Riley stole one last kiss, whispering, "I'll use that to jerk off to in rehab. Goodbye, beautiful."

"Bye, Rile."

"I'll leave you guys alone," Riley said and turned for the hallway.

I barely heard his words and Jasper and I lunged at each other, our bodies slamming together as we wrapped ourselves up in the other, burying faces in necks and we clung for what few minutes we had left. When his lips worked their way to mine, we mashed them together in one last passionate kiss, for a few seconds, forgetting what we were there for.

This was what I wanted, to say goodbye to him every morning before I returned home and greeted him the same way. I wanted it every day for the rest of my life. Remembering the ticket, my heart lurched forward, then skipped and halted before I was able to push away from him and reach down for the paper. Putting some space between us, I handed it to him.

"What's this?" he asked, unfolding the paper and scanning it.

I was about to take the biggest leap of faith of my entire life.

"A ticket." He looked confused, so I continued. "A plane ticket dated for a week from today. That should give you enough time to get Riley settled into rehab. If it's not, then I can change the date."

"Edward, I…"

_No. No. No. _

I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear him tell me no.

I needed hope. I couldn't turn around and walk out that fucking door without some kind of hope to hold on to.

"Please, don't say it, Jasper. Please," I begged, searching his eyes for the hope that I yearned for. It was there, a sliver of it behind the stormy blue but enough to keep my heart beating for another day. "I will be waiting for you at O'Hare when you land and we can begin our lives together."

"I love you, baby," he whispered, putting his forehead to mine, "so fucking much it hurts."

"I love you too, Jasper," I breathed, kissing him one last time, clinging to that hope he'd shown me. He was going to come to Chicago. It was only a week, I could do it. It was going to hurt, but I would survive.

"I gotta go, I'm going to be late. There's a car waiting downstairs," I panted, breaking the kiss. He nodded and I saw a tear glistening on his cheek. "Don't cry, love. We'll see each other in a week," I assured him with a smile. "I'll let you know when I land in Chicago." Reaching up, I cupped his cheek and wiped his tear away.

"Bye, baby. I love you," he whispered more reverently than I'd ever heard anything in my life.

"Bye, love."

We had one final kiss before I turned around and picked up my bags, slinging one over my shoulder while I opened the door. With the handle to my suitcase in my hand, I glanced at him over my shoulder, tears rolling uninhibited down his face, his eyes bluer from the anguish that flooded them, his soft hair tumbling around his face. I gave him a weak smile, one that would have to last us a week.

I loved him.

"Love you," I mouthed before stepping out the door and closing it behind me, quickly walking down the hall before I changed my mind and listened to every fucking part of me that told me to turn the fuck around and return to him. I heard his muffled sobs and broke into a sprint, fearing if I didn't, I would never leave Seattle.

I made it to the elevator before my tears started. I made it through the lobby before my heart stopped. I made it into the backseat of the car before I finally lost it completely. I had walked out of his hotel room, but I'd left my heart behind. Somehow without asking, I knew he'd care for it.

Because it was his forever.

"**~~**"

"You can't do this to me," he sighed as he rubbed his hands down his face in the late day sun that streamed in my office windows. "This is my chance."

"Maybe he'll still send you," I offered, trying to ease his worry. He looked at me with a 'are you fucking kidding me' face and I shrugged.

"He's not going to send me with Marcus. If you don't go, Marcus is going to be way too busy to watch over me," Spencer reasoned. "Why won't you go?"

"I just can't. Not now."

"It's because of him, isn't it?" My eyes narrowed and he put his hands up apologetically. "Please, reconsider."

"My mind is made up. I just need to tell my father."

"You haven't told him yet?" he asked, hope seeping back into his voice when I shook my head. "Edward, he's not going to let you out of this."

"He doesn't have a choice," I said with a lot more confidence than I felt.

Truth was I hadn't even spoken to my dad about Japan since I had returned from Seattle two days before. In fact, I hadn't spoken to my father at all. My nights had been spent sitting on my couch blankly watching television while my mind, and heart, were with Jasper in Seattle. Other than his quick reply to my text telling him I had arrived safely in Chicago and loved him, I hadn't heard from him since I'd left. I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach and told myself he was busy dealing with Riley. Without me there, he was alone watching over Riley while trying to find him a rehab. Then there was his work. I didn't want to bug him, I knew he had a lot on his mind and the last thing he needed was a whiny, clingy boyfriend. However, I did send him a few texts to let him know I was thinking about him, and loved him.

Then I would stare at my phone, willing him to reply.

When he didn't, I would go to bed and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, my eyes closing only minutes before the sun rose and I had to get up and face another day without him by my side. I arrived at work early, eager to dive into the slight distraction it offered me.

"Well, when you decide to break the news to him, let me know ahead of time so I can escape the building before it explodes with his anger," Spencer chuckled in front of me.

"You're not helping," I sighed.

"I don't want to help," he snapped. "I want to go to Japan. I'm here to convince you to go, not offer support in not going."

"Then feel free to leave," I raised a brow and motioned to the door. He sighed, shaking his head as he stood.

"Listen, Edward, I know you miss him, but you've can't give you up your life here for someone two thousand miles away," he said quietly before turning for the door.

"I'm not giving up my life," I shot back. "Just because I don't want to go to Japan doesn't mean I'm giving up my life."

"Maybe not, but you're letting someone in a different city dictate your career. I'm surprised he's okay with that."

"He doesn't know."

He stopped and turned back to me, surprise on his face. "What?"

"He doesn't know, I never told him. As soon as I saw him again, I knew I couldn't go to Japan, so I never told him about it."

"Wow," he said disbelievingly. "You must really love him."

Holding his gaze, I nodded. "I do. More than I can say."

"Well, I hope he's worth not only your future, but mine too," he grumbled and left. Tossing the pencil I had been twirling in my fingers onto the desk, I sat back in my chair and closed my eyes.

_The crowd exiting the plane greeted their families and friends as I anxiously shifted my weight back and forth. It seemed everyone had gotten off, everyone but the one I wanted. _

"_Please," I muttered under my breath, and then held it. When the airline employee closed the gate, I turned away, unable to handle the rejection. _

"_Looking for someone?" His voice was thick with emotion, but I would have recognized it anywhere. Spinning, I saw him standing there, dimples and wide grin, and blue eyes as deep as the sea. _

"_You're here," I breathed, flinging myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You're here."_

"_I'm here, baby," he sighed into my skin. "I'm home." _

"Everything okay?" Bella asked, jerking me upright and out of my daydream when she placed the files I had requested on my desk. Bella was the only one that knew the truth behind my black eye. Emmett didn't know about Riley, so I had told him the same thing I'd told everyone else - that a door opened as I was turning a corner and I walked into it. I wasn't sure he believed me, but he didn't push it. I hadn't told either of them about Jasper arriving in a few days and my plans to come out.

"You look a little lost."

"Just a little," I sighed.

"Anything I can do?"

"Tell me how to tell my father that I'm not going to Japan," I asked.

"Sorry, boss, I might be able to procure you drugs for addicts but telling your father about Japan is above even my capabilities," she replied. "When are you going to tell him?"

"At the last possible minute," I answered, and then clarified. "Not until after Sunday."

"Are you going to tell him why?"

"I'm hoping to show him why," I said cryptically, ignoring her raised brow. "You'll see."

"On that note, I'm going to go," she smiled. At the door, she stopped and looked at me. "I think you might be surprised how it could all turn out."

"I hope you're right."

At home that night, I tossed my phone on the nightstand, stripped and climbed into bed. For hours, I just stared at the ceiling.

"_I can't believe I'm here," he said as he wandered around my apartment, touching everything as he went. _

"_Me either." I watched him as he worked his way around the room, discovering and exploring everything I owned as if each item told him something about me that he didn't already know. He was there, in my apartment, his bags packed with everything he owned sitting by my door. _

_He was there to stay. To live with me, to be with me, to love me. _

_He picked up a jade elephant. "India," I answered his unasked question. "Few years ago." _

_He arrived to a framed photo of my parents and glanced over his shoulder at me. "Do they know?"_

"_Not yet. I was waiting for you to arrive."_

"_In case you need back up?" he joked. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him. _

"_No, I want them to meet you. I don't want to tell them I'm gay, I want to tell them I'm in love." _

"_I love you," he sighed, resting his head on my shoulder. _

"_I love you too. Ready to do this?" _

"_Yep," he smiled, then turned and kissed me. "Though I would rather stay here and make love to you." He deepened the kiss, his tongue entering my mouth. _

"_They can wait," I sighed as he nibbled down my neck and I moved my hands to unbutton his shirt. _

In my bed, I trembled with the joy that filled me at the imagined reunion, one that was only a few days away. I was already counting the hours until I saw him again, until I could feel his breath and touch his face. Heavy with hope, my eyes closed and I fell into a sleep filled with dreams of Jasper and I together.

Each day melded into the next as I barely made it through but I tried to keep myself busy with work, I even went out with Emmett one night and went to my parents for dinner another night. When my father mentioned Japan I nodded few times, showing as much disinterest in talking about it as possible and he quickly moved on to another a subject. My heart was full of guilt as I let him think I was going on, but when I saw Jasper's face in my mind, I knew it would all be worth it. My nights at home alone were spent planning exactly how I was going to come out, how I was going to introduce Jasper to my friends and more importantly, my parents and sister. All I knew was I wanted to be holding his hand in mine when I said the words, I wanted him next to me, I wanted them to see for themselves how much we loved other. Maybe then they would accept us.

A phone call from Alice interrupted those thoughts. When I saw her name on the caller ID, I debated sending it to voicemail. I wasn't sure I was up for her bubbly personality. Sighing, I hit accept and greeted her.

"I haven't talked to you in ages," she scolded me. "Did you lose my number or something?"

"Been really busy," I told her. "How's school?"

"I've got finals coming up in a few weeks, then I'm home for the summer. I've managed to land an internship with a new, upcoming designer in Chicago. I'm so excited! Isn't it great?" she raved, barely taking a breath. "We totally have to get together before you leave for Japan."

"How do you know about Japan?" I asked, sitting up.

"Because unlike you, I keep up with what's going on in my dear brother's life," she paused, I could almost see her shrug. "Mom told me."

"It's not definite," I mumbled.

"Oh? Might want to tell her that. She's already planning a trip over to visit you."

"Are you serious?"

"Sure am. But anyway, let me tell you more about this internship…"

For the next half an hour, I listened to her tell me about the 'chance of a lifetime', and how much I was going to love Japan because they were one of the leading countries in fashion. When I finally pried the phone away from my ear, I stumbled to bed, guilt welling in me as I lay staring at the ceiling I'd come to know so well.

On Thursday I was sitting in my office when Bella walked in and handed me a package addressed to me. She waited with her arms folded across her chest and watched while I opened it. Opening the small box, I pulled out the DVDs and a book.

"Something you ordered?" she asked as I flipped through the colored pages of the hard covered book. Considering it was a first edition, it was in mint condition, showing little wear. It should be for the price I had paid for it. I'd been ecstatic when I'd found it, and knew he would be too.

"Yeah."

"You're not going to tell me why you are looking through the Wizard of Oz, are you?"

Not in the mood to either have her roll her eyes or gush about how romantic it was that I had bought it for Jasper as a welcome home present, I chuckled and answered, "No." I put book down and picked up the DVD of the same name. Silently, she turned and left. I had barely closed the box back up and Spencer was walking in.

"Change your mind?"

"Not since you asked me this morning on the elevator," I answered calmly. "Spencer, I promise, I will do what I can to ensure that you stay on the merger."

"It won't help," he sighed. "You know I only go if you do."

"Then I guess if I were you, I wouldn't be packing just yet." With shoulders slumped, he turned and left.

I didn't like that he was disappointed in me, that he felt I was putting my personal life before my career. To him, there was nothing that was more important than his career, including love. His blackmailing me had been proof of that. I couldn't blame him for wanting to go to Japan and be out from under his father's watchful eyes. If it wasn't for Jasper, I would want to go too.

At home that night, I texted Jasper with just a number.

_63_

It was the amount of hours until we would be together again.

I hoped for, but didn't receive, a reply. He was still busy, still trying to get everything ready before he left, replying to me was low on his priority list, and I understood that.

Popping a DVD into the player, I fell onto the couch with my bourbon and hit play. The music started and my heart halted. If I closed my eyes I could almost feel Jasper spooning on the couch with me, his heat soaking through our clothes as he held me. An ache settled inside me and by the time Dorothy reached Munkinland, I was squeezing my eyes closed, forcing away the doubt of our reunion. It was the weak moments that my rational mind would invade my heart and try to convince me that everything I was doing was in vain, and that Jasper was not going to be coming.

I would force the doubt away almost as quickly as it came upon me, telling myself that I knew Jasper. He loved me as much as I loved him. He needed me as much as I needed him, and in sixty plus hours, he was going to be falling into my arms again.

"_So what's this place?" Jasper asked with wonder in his voice. _

"_This is where I work," I replied, tugging on his head and leading him into the mirrored skyscraper. He followed me, bumping into me when he was looking up at the huge building and not where he was walking. _

"_It's amazing," he said as we entered the lobby. I nodded to the security guard behind the counter and pulled Jasper along the marble floor to the elevators. He was almost bouncing next me while we waited for the doors to open._

"_I can't believe I'm here," he sighed. _

_Kissing his cheek, I whispered in his ear, "Me either." _

_We stepped onto the elevator and I felt his hand tighten around mine when the doors closed. "Are you sure about this?"_

"_Absolutely," I grinned. "I want to show you off to everyone."_

_Blushing, he looked away, nervously biting his lip. We exited on my floor and walked down the hall and entered the area that housed my office. It seemed like all eyes turned to us when we walked in, but everyone smiled and greeted us, shaking Jasper's hand when I introduced him. Bella hugged him,_ _Emmett slapped him on the back and Spencer begrudgingly nodded, then left. Finally, I brought Jasper down the hall and knocked on my father's door. _

"_Come in," he said and I glanced at Jasper once last time. Squeezing his hand, I gathered strength from his warmth. It was now or never. _

_I walked into my father's office hand in hand with the man I loved. _

"_Dad, I'd like you to meet someone," I began. "This is my boyfriend, Jasper."_

I woke up on the couch, opening my eyes to see Dorothy and gang melting the wicked witch. The dream was fresh in my mind as I hit stop on the remote and got off the couch. After ejecting the video, I took it with me to my bedroom where I put it my player in there and flopped onto my bed. I went back to the menu and started it from the beginning again before crawling under my blanket. If I couldn't have Jasper with me, I was at least going to have something he loved.

The next day was a blur of meetings and conference calls, and if Bella hadn't been by my side guiding me through them, I probably would have missed something. She pumped coffee into me, pushing me out the door to my car and handing me the highlights of what I needed to know. She was definitely earning that cruise she wanted. Friday night was spent doing the same as Thursday, drinking, missing Jasper, and watching the Wizard of Oz.

It was around midnight when I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to talk to him. He was probably at work, which sent a stab of pain through me, but I dialed his number anyway, even though I remembered what happened last time I had called him while he was working. Picking at my bedspread, I waited for him to answer.

He never did.

Not even voicemail.

"Damn it, love," I growled, tossing the phone down. "I need you."

He was going through a lot of shit, he must need me too. Maybe I had pushed too hard, maybe I was too clingy. Throwing an arm over my eyes, I listened to the Scarecrow sing, but all I saw was Jasper.

_Holding his hand in mine, I raised my hand to knock on my parent's door. My mother answered, her eyes dropping to the clasped hands before she smiled and kissed my cheek. My father appeared from around the corner, his gaze immediately falling to my hand laced with Jasper's between us. _

"_Edward?" he asked, bringing his eyes up to mine. _

"_Dad, Mom, this is my boyfriend, Jasper. We're in love and together," I said quietly but confidently. _

"_Welcome to the family, son," my father grinned and slapped Jasper on the back. _

For the sixth night in a row, I woke up in cold sweat.

On Saturday, I made a list of all the things I would need to buy for Jasper, and then I went out to purchase it all. I went to the grocery store and stocked up on all his favorite foods and bought some beer and wine. I even made sure to buy his body wash and shampoo. Then I hit the fresh outdoor market and bought some vegetables for the romantic candlelit dinner I had planned for his first night in Chicago. Then I was going to take him to my bed, now our bed, and make love with him all night long.

Once I was home, I put the food away and then went into my room and emptied a few drawers in my dresser for him before making space in my walk-in closet. I spent the afternoon moving clothes around, proud when I saw how much space I had created for him. I proceeded through my house, adding things that would make him feel more at home, even printing out the pictures of us on the beach from my cell phone and framing them, placing them on my piano. I blushed when I remembered him giving me the piano at his apartment and I hoped we could christen mine the same way. In the bathroom, I placed extra towels on the shelf and put his supplies in the shower stall and on the tub. Exhausted, I flopped on the couch and made sure the television shows I had recorded for him were still on my TiVo. In less than twenty four hours, he was going to be sitting there watching them with me. The last thing I did was put the book I had bought for him on the coffee table. I wanted him to know how much I had been thinking about him while we were apart. Like I had told him, every minute of every day.

Every time my phone vibrated in my pocket, I would get a lump in my throat that it was him confirming the trip, or updating me on Riley.

It was never either one.

Still, excitement hummed through me. Some nervousness too. I was anxious about coming out, but it would be with worth it to have Jasper with me, it had just taken me months to realize it.

Admittedly when I sat there quietly, I worried about Riley. He often invaded my thoughts. While there was no denying the physical attraction I felt for him, I liked to think that he and I had grown into something more, that perhaps we had a bit of a friendship that went beyond the base sexual desire we expressed for each other. I hoped he was getting what he needed with those that could help him, I hoped he was safe. But more than anything, I selfishly hoped that Jasper was packing up his things to come see me, even if he didn't stay, even if he only came for a few days and then had to return to Seattle to see Riley, it would still make me incredibly happy.

For the first time in my life, I actually felt like things were going to work out. As long as Jasper was with me, I could face anything that was going to be the fallout of opening that closet door and walking out with my head held high.

Emmett called to go out to dinner, and at first I said no, but then decided the distraction would be nice. We went to the bar and grill we liked and sat in a booth in the back, Emmett's voice booming as he laughed and told me of his latest conquest. After a few drinks, I got back into the car and instructed Connor to drive me home, where I would spend my last night alone.

In my apartment, I undressed and got into bed, the Wizard of Oz playing on my flat screen while I counted down the minutes until Jasper would be there to watch it with me. As my eyes closed, I forced the ache in my chest away, replacing it with thoughts of seeing him again.

"**~~**"

Sitting in the hard plastic chair, I shifted side to side, careful not to disturb the bouquet of flowers on my lap.

I'd arrived at the airport three hours earlier, after getting up at the crack of dawn to make sure everything was ready and then taking a nice long shower and resisting the urge to jerk off in it. I wanted to save everything for Jasper. After my shower, I picked out jeans that I knew Jasper liked my ass in and a black polo shirt. It was his favorite color on me, claiming it showed off my eyes and hair. When I couldn't stop pacing and fixing everything over and over in my apartment, I left and headed to the airport, stopping once on the way to get the red and white roses, the same colors he'd bought for me at the beach. I parked in short term parking and immediately headed for the terminal where Jasper's plane would arrive. During my time there, I saw flights arrive and depart, watching through the huge windows as planes taxied down the runway and took off for their destinations. People moved around me, rushing to make flights or pick up their bags. Families, couples, business men, all on their way to somewhere or someone.

Holding my phone in one hand, I checked it often for messages, even though I knew logically he couldn't send any during the flight. Each time I glanced at the television listing arrivals and departures, my heart would skip a beat with anticipation. His flight was scheduled on time. Only another hour until he would be in my arms again. Soon we would be together and I would be out.

And life would be perfect.

As I sat there, I saw husbands and wives reuniting. I watched as a little boy ran up to his daddy and hugged his legs as daddy kissed mommy. Sighing, I closed my eyes and imagined my reunion with Jasper in front of all the people. I wondered if he would be passionate and open with a searing kiss or if he would be more discreet and only hug me and whisper how much he loved and missed me in my ear. Would he pick me up and spin me around and laugh? Would he be hungry and want to go out for food or would he want to take me home and fuck me?

Whatever he wanted to do, I wanted too.

It seemed hours later when I finally looked at the screen and saw that Jasper's flight status had changed from 'on-time' to 'arrived'. My heart thundered with the power of a thousand as I stood and tingled with excitement. Clasping the flowers in my hand, I headed for the gate to get as close as I could. I probably looked like a stupid fool with the silly grin plastered on my face, but I didn't give a shit.

I had been waiting twenty-four years for my life to begin, and in only a few moments, it was going to.

Craning my neck, I looked over the tops of those waiting in front of me for any sign of my love's wheat blond waves. There was a sudden flood of people as they made their way down the wide corridor toward their waiting families and friends and lovers. Around me, people fell into welcome home hugs and kisses while I still waited. Leaning side to side, I tried to get a better view of those exiting, not wanting to miss him. Jasper was new to flying and O'Hare wasn't exactly easy to get around. I hoped he would find his way, but just in case, I held my phone in my other hand so I wouldn't miss his call if he got lost.

The crowd thinned and there was still no Jasper. Refusing to allow the churning of my stomach to mean anything, I scanned the crowd more closely. I must have missed him. I searched each and every person that was within eyesight of me, but none of them were Jasper.

He was coming, I just knew it. He would be the next one off, he'd probably just gotten hung up getting his bag out of the overhead or something.

The ache in my chest grew, only it wasn't in anticipation, it was fear. When I saw the pilots and flight attendants heading toward me, I sucked in a shallow breath.

"Excuse me, are you from Flight 1152?" I asked one as they passed.

"Yes, sir," the attendant smiled.

"Has everyone disembarked?"

"Yes, quite some time ago," she replied before brushing by me.

My heart clenched and I shook my head.

Jasper wasn't on the flight.

My breath left me and I reeled against the blow. I had thought I was prepared to deal with the possibility of him not coming, but the vise clamping around my heart made me realize just how fucking wrong I had been. Reaching out, I grabbed the back of a chair, using it to anchor me to the world as mine unraveled around me. Slowly, I lifted my phone and looked at it. No missed calls, no messages.

No Jasper.

Then, I had an idea. I made my way to a counter.

"Are there any more direct flights from Seattle today?" I asked urgently. Maybe Jasper had changed flights and had forgotten to tell me.

She typed in a few keystrokes and then shook her head. "I'm afraid not, sir."

"Thanks," I mumbled before turning away and going back to the spot I had just left. My eyes were trained to the gate, just waiting for him to appear and rush into my arms just like he was supposed to.

Just like I'd dreamed of.

He wouldn't let me down. I knew him. He was going to come.

I don't know how long I stood there just staring down an empty hallway waiting for my love to appear and tell me that everything was going to be okay. With each second that passed, a textured pain rocked through my body, suffocating me. There might have been tears streaming down my cheeks as I realized I was alone.

Jasper wasn't coming.

Swallowing, I tried to focus on each breath, a simple task that took enormous effort.

The sun had set by the time I was able to make it back to my car. I'd stopped several times to catch my breath when the agony crushed me too much. My hands shook, my vision was blurry, and my chest gaped with the wound that had been flayed open, exposing my broken heart. Fumbling with my keys, I unlocked my car and collapsed in it, barely closing the door before the first wail hit me. My soul exploded into shards as sobs wretched me in heaving gasps and ragged breaths. Jasper's flowers sat next to me on the seat and I grabbed them. Bringing them up to my nose, I inhaled the scent of the roses.

The memory of the beach gutted me with the life I,_ we_, would never have. What hurt the most were all those things that wouldn't happen, all those dreams we had were just that…dreams. They wouldn't ever come true.

It wasn't meant to be.

I loved him so fucking much, but he'd chosen another.

Swiping clumsily at my face, I tried to dry some of the tears, but they fell too fast to keep up with. Just when I thought I had regained some control, another round wracked my body and I would find myself breathless, assaulted with images of Jasper.

My hand brushing the hair out of his eyes before kissing him.

His smile as he dared me to chase him on the beach.

His body as it moved over mine, making love to my body and soul.

His eyes as he said goodbye.

Darkness fell around me and I finally worked up the courage to put the keys in the ignition and see the time. It was almost eight. We should have been having our second round of sex after the romantic dinner. Instead, I was sitting in my car alone at the airport waiting for someone that had never showed.

It was over.

_We_ were over.

Taking a few deep breaths, I picked up my cell phone and cleared my eyes enough to see my contacts. I scrolled down to the one I needed and clicked dial. He picked up on the second ring. I didn't even wait for his greeting before speaking.

"I'll go."

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

*sigh* that last scene was probably the hardest thing I've written. I could just see him waiting for his love so clearly…So what did you think? Anyone change their mind about Edward or have more sympathy for him?

There is still a long, hard road ahead for these two. We're nearing the end, there should be three chapters and the epilogue left.

The Slash Awards voting is open! M&A and WN, as well as Golden Banana and Extreme Measures, are all nominated in a few categories. Go vote for your favorites! http:/www DOT kwiksurveys DOT com/online-survey DOT php?surveyID=NKKKKH_f0e34196


	36. The Ususal Suspects

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- I know this isn't who you are all expecting, but there is a reason for it. This is _not _an outtake, it spans an important time, is dialogue heavy, and might answer some questions asked in the last few chapters.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

How the fuck did I get here?

That was the big question.

The place was nice enough I guess, but it was no Renaissance Hotel that was for fucking sure. I hadn't once seen escargot on the menu. There were no bars on the windows and the sheets and towels were clean. Thanks to an extra few thousand dollars and some sweet talking, I was in a single room. It was nice I got to suffer through withdrawals in private. I heard the others bitching about waking up to their roommate heaving into the trashcan.

No thanks.

Scanning the seats set up in the stereotypical semicircle, I looked around at my fellow addicts.

Oh sorry, fellow substance abusers.

It was just a fancy name for drug addicts. You can dress it up any way you want but in the end, they were all addicts. Some knew it, some denied it, others owned up to it.

There was Katelyn, the middle-aged soccer mom with a Vicodone problem. That skiing accident when she hurt her back must have been so traumatizing, I snorted to myself. Please. She was just some fucking lonely housewife whose husband's dick was cutting it anymore. Instead of getting off with sex, she was getting off with pain killers. And now little Buffy and Biff were suffering horribly from it.

Sighing, I moved to the token rich boy. Carlton was the bored heir to some billionaire who was told he needed to stop shooting the family fortune into his bloodstream or face getting cut out of the will. After being in and out of the tabloids a few times, his family had finally staged an intervention and admitted him a day later for his heroin addiction. I bet it was difficult for him to give up his private driver and the trip to Fiji he was supposed to be on instead of sitting in a hard plastic chair with us lowlifes.

Slumped in the chair next to him was Heather, a teenager that had gotten fucked up one too many times with her friends and had crashed daddy's BMW. Her parents put her in rehab so she wouldn't get fucked up some night and end up pregnant the next day. She was still in high school so instead of group she sometimes went to a tutor so she could still graduate on time.

Next to her was a guy old enough to be my father. I think his name was Mark. Or Mike. Maybe Mort? Fuck, it didn't matter what the hell his name was, all I had to know was he was divorced dad with three kids. After being arrested for a DWI with the kids in his car, he checked himself in. I smirked when he confessed that it had been one of his kids that had turned him in. Called the cops from their cell phone in his car. Damn clever kids.

The seat next to Mort or Mike or Matt was empty. It had belonged to Bob the Biker. Seriously, that was what he called himself. Bob the Biker. Bob the Biker had left the night before. Tragic. See, we weren't there against our wills, we could check out any time we wanted. It was too bad too. I kinda liked Bob the Biker. His long hair and eagle tattoo were a bit cliché, but the American flag bandana he wore was nostalgic. Anyway, Bob the Biker had a love hate relationship with alcohol and pot and the occasional piece of rock. Seems the other bikers in his gang thought he might need help. Apparently, Bob the Biker didn't think so.

Next to Bob the Biker's empty seat was the drug counselor Chad. Chad was the typical rehabilitated user with the fucked up skin, empty eyes, tattoos running down his arms, and the hard stare. He was really good at glaring at people and acting all tough when they didn't listen to him. He was the enforcer of the group. If any of us got out of hand, he would put us back in our place, physically if necessary. Gotta admit, he was pretty knowledgeable about the hell of detoxing, his voice hinted at sympathy whenever someone complained about withdrawals or cravings.

Sitting in the middle of the semicircle was our doctor. Tall and thin, he had wire framed glasses covering his slate eyes and a distinguished grey hair thing going on. I'd do him. Wouldn't be the first time a fuck wanted me to call him daddy. Dr. Dolan sat with one leg crossed over the other and a clipboard resting on his knee as he occasionally took notes on what was said in the group. Often, he would just nod and hum to whatever he heard, only jumping into the conversation when necessary.

"…and the pain is just unbearable. I couldn't stand not being able to even get up in the mornings without the constant suffering…"

What about _my_ constant suffering having to listen to Katelyn's woe is me story? Sighing, I rolled my eyes. I wanted someone to drop and have a seizure. At least give me some entertainment.

"Mr. Biers," Dr. Dolan spoke up, "do you have something to add?"

Where the fuck should I start?

With the fucking annoying idiots I was surrounded by or the fact other people bought the fucked up stories they were selling?

Everyone looked at me, waiting for my answer. Leaning back in my chair, I folded my arms across my chest and gave my head one good shake to get the hair out of my eyes, which I then blinked innocently.

"No."

Dr. Dolan eyes left me and returned to Katelyn. "Continue."

Oh, Jesus Christ.

If there was a God, I wanted him to shoot me. I'd even take a slow and painful death if that was what I deserved. Anything to get me the fuck out of there. How the fuck had I let Jasper talk me into this?

"…so I told my doctor about the excruciating pain and he prescribed Oxycodone…"

Blah, blah blah.

My mind drifted to anywhere but that fucking room. Staring out the window, I thought back to just how I had let Jasper talk me into it. But it wasn't Jasper alone that had convinced me to go. See, Jasper had an enforcer of his own. And Jasper's enforcer was fucking hot.

Needless to say when I had woken up in the hospital room and saw him, and not Jasper, sitting in the chair watching TV, I'd been surprised but definitely not disappointed. Being the stealthy type guy I was, I stared at him for a few minutes. Peter pretty much looked he had walked out of a high fashion magazine. There was the square jaw, unique colored eyes, perfectly groomed hair, brilliant smile, and a body that would make any straight man gay. Alright, so I hadn't seen the body yet, but everyone knew it was only a matter of time. And if the way he wore a custom fit suit was any indication, I was fucking dead on with my assessment.

"I know you're awake," he said casually turning his head, and those fucking green-blue eyes, toward me. They were the color of the Pacific at sunset. It was a view I'd seen often, usually with Jasper sitting by my side as we dangled our feet off the docks. The sun would hit the blue ocean, giving the top a weird green tint. Just like what I was looking at right then.

"Caught me," I smirked, shrugging. The charm was all natural, like breathing. I never had to work at it. "Now what are you going to do with me?"

"Keep you safe, just like I promised."

He looked at me so…differently. It wasn't like Jasper, or even Beautiful, and it certainly wasn't like the fucking johns on the street. It was something I'd never seen and honestly, it fucking unnerved me. It was like he knew me but he didn't. No matter how high I had been, I definitely would have remembered fucking something as hot as him.

"Does this security detail involve body cavity searches?" I asked hopefully.

"Afraid not," he smiled with a slight shake of his head.

"A pat down then?" I suggested.

"This security detail is strictly a watch but don't touch service."

"Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"It's impossible to watch me without touching me," I informed him with a short laugh, stopping when the pain pierced my upper left side. He returned my laugh, the sound echoing through the empty room.

"Consider me warned."

"Not that I'm complaining, but I was surprised to wake up and see you here." I had thought Jasper was a permanent fixture in my room. He wouldn't leave. Not that I wanted him to.

"Jasper was exhausted, but I couldn't get him to go home unless I promised to stay and watch over you," Peter replied, turning in the chair slightly so he was facing me more. Of course he wanted to get a better look at the goods. Couldn't blame him.

"You can do more than watch over me, cowboy," I flirted, bowing my head and looking at him through my long lashes. Resistance was futile when I did that.

"You know you're just wasting energy with me, right?"

Yeah, I did. I didn't know the guy, but I could see his love for my whore in his Pacific eyes. Jasper had told me about their trip, I knew the guy loved Jasper, but even if I hadn't heard it firsthand, I could have figured it out.

"Yeah, it's obvious you're in love with him."

He didn't flinch, or even blink. His eyes remained fixed on mine and without any quivering, he replied, "I am. I won't deny it, I've never denied it. I won't hide who I am or who I love. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for him, Riley." He paused. "I could give him everything he ever wanted for the rest of his life, except…"

"Except what, Peter?"

"Except he doesn't feel the same way," he answered quietly, closing his eyes and shutting out the hurt I heard in his voice.

I didn't have to tell him he was right. Jasper didn't feel the same way. Peter knew it. We were silent for a few minutes before he opened his eyes, exposing a darkness to them that hadn't been there before. I felt an odd need to comfort him.

"Sorry," I whispered and he shook his head.

Just as he was about to say something, my doctor walked in. Peter went to leave, but I told him he could stay, so he sat back down. A few minutes of harmless flirting later and I had permission to leave the next day. The doctor said goodnight and left.

"Happy to be going home?"

_Home?_

A foreign word to me. I had no home. At least not by the standard dictionary definition. I had no place that I paid for or that I could even count on as being there every night. Then again, I could count on Jasper being there every night for me. Jasper was my home. I didn't want to explain all that to Cowboy though.

"Fuck yes. They don't feed me right in here. Did you know that you can check off all the food on the menu, but they only give you a set amount?

"Is that so?" He gave me a half smile.

I nodded. "Then just as you fall asleep, the nurses come wake you up, prod you, and not in the good way, then tell you get rest."

"I never understood that either," he agreed.

"And why do they have to measure my piss? I feel like I'm taking a fucking test every time I go to the bathroom. What if I fail? Do they drug test me or something?"

"No, they want to make sure your kidneys are working," he chuckled, then looked around my room. "Where is your stuff?"

"Stuff?"

"Clothes, shoes?"

Suddenly there was something on my blanket that needed my undivided attention. Blankets should be lint free in the hospital. Picking at the tiniest piece of lint I could find, I chewed my lip. "They got ruined," I mumbled. "I think they cut them off me."

Nodding, he pulled out his cell phone and pressed a button. "Hey, Cassie," he greeted, then paused. "I know, but something's come up. I need you do me a favor." More pausing. "I need some men's clothes brought to me at the Harborview Hospital." Then he looked at me, languidly dragging his eyes from head to foot, stopping briefly at my waist before continuing down my legs. "A pair of jeans, waist twenty-nine, length thirty, a tee shirt size medium, some socks, and underwear same size as the jeans. Oh, and a pair of sneakers." He glanced at my feet tucked under the now lint free blanket. "Size eleven."

Damn. He was good.

"Room seven-ten. I'll be here." He waited for a reply and glanced at his watch. "Use the company card. Great, thanks, I appreciate it. See you in a bit." He put the phone back in his pocket.

"You didn't have to do that," I murmured, my eyes remaining on the bed. I didn't have the money to pay him for the clothes. People that gave you things expected shit in return. Money, a fuck, drugs, something. Except for Jasper. He gave me stuff without me having to give him anything in return, but Jasper was my friend, Peter wasn't. I swear I felt my face heating up under the bruises as he stared at me with those weird intense eyes. "I don't think I can fuck, but if you want to close the door, I'll blow you."

"Excuse me?" he choked, his dark eyes widening.

"For the clothes. I can't pay you for them, but I can blow you if you want," I clarified.

Muting the TV, he turned to me and sighed. "Riley, I didn't get you the clothes because I wanted a blowjob."

Angling my head, I studied him. If it wasn't for a blowjob, he had to want something. "Then what do you want?" I finally asked, giving up trying to guess. Talking was fucking overrated.

"I want you to have clean clothes to wear home tomorrow."

"And?"

"And nothing. That's it. I don't except or want anything in return."

Confused, I stared at him.

Then I felt a warmth on my shin through the blanket and I looked down and saw his hand resting on my leg. "Sometimes people do things just because they want to."

Pulling my eyes from his hand, I studied my lap. My jaw slid back and forth and before I could fucking stop myself, I blurted out, "I don't know anyone that's done something like that before besides Jasper." Immediately, I was shaking my head and internally scolding myself for my apparent inability to shut the fuck up.

"Well, now you do," he smiled and removed his hand. Leaning back in the chair, he turned the TV back up and then stretched his long legs in front of him, the toes of his tan leather boots sticking out from his pants.

I wished he'd taken the blowjob.

It seemed it was only a few minutes later that there was a knock on the door and a pretty girl entered. She had long blond hair and big brown eyes. She also smelled like lemons. It made me hungry and I wondered where dinner was. Peter thanked her, looked over the clothes and held them up for my approval, which I gave eagerly. Cassie had good taste.

"Are the jeans Armando?" I asked as Peter folded them up.

"Armando?"

"Yeah, Jasper let me wear his clothes a lot and he had Armando jeans." I watched as he began folding the tee shirt. He was pretty good at folding shit. They weren't even rolled into a ball.

"You mean Armani?"

"Armani, Armando, same fucking thing. Both gay designers," I shrugged.

If he was trying to contain the smile, he failed. I saw the corners of his lips going up anyway. "No, they are not Armando, or Armani. They are Ralph Lauren."

When he was done folding, he put the clothes on the dresser and then sat back down. "Hungry?" he asked when my stomach growled so loud he heard it over the television.

"A little," I lied. More like a fucking lot. "I filled out the menu already."

"What did you order?" he asked, picking up the room phone instead of his cell phone.

"One of everything."

He spoke quietly into the phone. I tried to pretend I wasn't listening, but his deep voice was rich and soothing, and really fucking hard to resist. After hanging up, he sat back down again.

Twenty minutes later, a hospital worker walked in with a try loaded with covered plates and several choices of soda. He left without saying a word and Peter pushed the cart over to my bed and began lifting the lids to show me the food. There was a cheeseburger and fries, some sort of fish and rice, steak and potatoes, apple pie, ice cream, and a piece of cake. It was food made for a fucking king. And I felt like one as he showed off the food and waited on me.

"No escargot?" I raised a brow, arching it just right.

"Not tonight. So what's first?"

Shyly, and I am not fucking shy, I motioned to the burger and fries. He handed the plate to me, along with a can of soda, and I began to devour them. When I was half done, I noticed he was standing there watching me with a silly smile on his face.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I mumbled around the food, spitting a little out. He shook his head.

"It's all yours."

"All of it?"

Nodding, he picked up a can of Coke. "Except I'm going to take this." He pushed the tray over so it was close enough for me to reach and then sat down again. "So what should we watch?"

That was how we spent the rest of the night, watching TV and talking. He told me a few stories about growing up in the south and I told him a few stories about growing up on the streets. He even laughed a few times, and I could see his eyes brighten when Jasper was mentioned. Flicking through the channels, he settled on a French movie. I recognized the language, but I still read the subtitles at the bottom. My foreign language skills were rusty. Not much need for them on the streets.

"Is this okay?" he asked, waving toward the TV.

"Oui," I replied, using what little French I remembered.

He was clearly surprised. "Tu parles Français?"

"Pas très bien," I replied in my broken French.

"How long?"

"Only a year," I shrugged. "I was more interested in learning the dirty words to seduce the boys. What teen boy doesn't want to hear about ménage à trois?"

He threw his had back and laughed.

It was my freshman year in high school and I was taking French because my friend Noah was taking it. I'd had crush on him all summer and couldn't wait to watch his lips practice the new language. Each day I sat next to him and we chuckled our way through class. He ogled the teacher while I ogled him, swallowing hard every time he was called on to speak. One day, after following him around like a puppy for months, I scribbled on a piece of paper and folded it before sliding it into his locker.

_t__u as de très beaux yeux_

You have nice eyes.

He did too. They were a really light blue, almost translucent or something. Anyway, I watched from around the corner while he opened his locker and read the note. His head whipped up and he looked down the hall in both directions. I jumped behind the corner before he could see me, my heart racing like mad under my Doors tee shirt. There was no doubt he would recognize my handwriting. He copied my homework enough. The rest of the day dragged until French class. I walked in and sat down, waiting for him to come and tell me I had nice eyes too. A few minutes later, he walked in with an extra bounce to his step and he flopped in the chair next to me. When he leaned toward me, I knew that was it. He was going to reply with some romantic French words and I was going to have my first real boyfriend.

"Sarah thinks I have nice eyes," he chuckled. Sarah was some bimbo that sat in the front row. Pursing my lips, I glared at her for a second.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she left a note in my locker," he grinned. "I'm asking her out at lunch."

Sighing, I sat back and ignored the slight ache in my chest. It must have been sore because it had been beating so fast.

"Have you ever been to France?" Peter asked, snapping me from my memory.

"No. I've never been out of Washington."

"I was going to take Jasper to Paris," he whispered sadly. Turning away from me, he continued, "I wanted to give him the world."

For once in my life, I knew when to keep my mouth shut.

Katelyn was still droning on and on about her horrible, traumatic life that led a woman who had the whole white picket fence and two-point-five kids thing going on to rely on drugs to get through her awful days.

Fuck that.

As I looked around the room, I realized none of those people knew the meaning of the word horrible or traumatic or tragic. They had no fucking clue how easy they had it, even if they were addicts. Their sob stories were just that, sob stories, created to get sympathy and blame something, or someone, for their drug abuse.

Bob the Biker had blamed his gang because being a bike gang leader was harder than it looked. Katelyn blamed her husband for making her go down the expert slope when she clearly wasn't ready. Carlton blamed pressure from his parents, and a camp counselor from some upscale camp he had attended when he was ten. Said the guy had molested him and had forced him to try coke, and cock, for his first time. Carlton was gay, no doubt about it, and his 'abuse' story was a great way for him to still suck dick and tell his parents it was because of what had happened to him that awful summer. Heather claimed her boyfriend got her into drugs. I wondered if she put out for it. Matt/Mike/Mort blamed the pressures of work and having to keep up appearances and live up the standard of the Joneses. I didn't know who they were, but they weren't to blame. Their stories were nothing compared to what I had survived, and it was insulting to sit there and listen to them. I saw right through their dramatic lies, and I couldn't believe that no one else could, including the good ole doctor.

"How about we call it a day?" Dr. Dolan suggested, glancing at his watch. He was probably late for his tee time. "We'll meet again tomorrow. Same time."

Oh goodie.

"Riley, don't forget, we've got individual therapy tomorrow morning at ten," he reminded me as I stood up.

Nodding, I turned and left, heading straight for my room. I was getting around a lot better, my incision was still sore, but the bandage was off and the stitches were gone. The cast on my arm was still there though. Another few weeks with it. Not bothering to turn on the light, or close the door all the way, I went to the bed and fell on my stomach. God, I was so fucking tired all the time. I hadn't been that tired when I was living on the streets and staying up getting fucked all night.

My mind immediately went back to my time on the streets. How simple it was out there. Things were way more fucked up now than ever. Jasper was a ghost of the boy I knew. The day Edward left, Jasper did nothing but cry in my arms. That night I managed to get him into bed, even undressed, before I got in with him and held him, trying everything I could think of to calm him down. Nothing worked. I even thought about playing the piano for him but then thought it might make him sadder. The paper sitting on the floor by the front door pretty much answered all the questions I had. Edward wanted Jasper to go to Chicago in a week. But Jasper wasn't going to go because I had made him promise not to leave me, telling him I couldn't make it through this shit without him. And I couldn't. I needed him. Even I knew it was selfish, but I didn't care.

As he slept restlessly in my arms, I remembered him and Edward together. Everything they did was synchronized, down to their breathing. I don't even think they realized the way they moved around each other was perfectly timed and instinctual. I saw the way Beautiful looked at Jasper. I'd never seen anything like it. It was like he would cease to breathe if Jasper wasn't near.

It was a day later before Jasper crawled out of bed to do something other than take a piss. Neither one of us had eaten or showered, but he got out of bed late Monday, claiming he had to get ready for work. I'd seen Jasper torn up over Edward before, but this was different. It was worse. There was a finality to it that I hadn't felt before.

He crawled out of bed and stumbled to the shower. Worried, I followed him, pausing in the doorway when I heard him crying. Not even bothering to take off my underwear or cover my cast, I opened the stall door and got inside, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind. Resting my forehead against his shoulder, I squeezed him to me. The spray from the showerhead ran down on him, flattening his hair to his head.

"Angel," I sighed, completely lost as to how to comfort him. Suddenly, he turned in my arms, burying his face in my neck and soaking me with his tears. While he clung to me, I held him tightly, offering what little comfort I could. Finally pulling free, I had him stand under the water while I grabbed the body wash and lathered him up. His hand hung low as I washed him, directing him to rinse off before shampooing his hair. When I was done, I helped him out, dried him off, then got him dressed in a dark suit.

"You look really handsome," I whispered when I was doing up the buttons of his white shirt. I grabbed a tie from his closet and laid it around his neck, but then had no idea how to tie it. His hands came up and he did it himself. After he was dressed, he paced the living room. Sitting there watching him go back and forth was like watching a tennis match. Reaching out, I grabbed his wrist. "What's going on?"

"I'm afraid you're going to leave while I'm gone," he admitted.

"I won't. I promise."

He chewed on his lower lip. He didn't believe me. Releasing him, I sat back. "Fine. Don't go."

"I need to. We need the money."

Suddenly, his face calmed and he reached into his pocket for his phone. "Hey," he spoke to whoever answered. "I'm okay. I…um…need a favor. A big one."

Next thing I knew, he was giving out his address and hanging up. Less than twenty minutes later there was knock on his door. He bolted to it before I could even move off the couch. Immediately, I recognized the voice. They walked over to me and my eyes dropped to see if he had his boots on.

He did.

Not only did he have his boots on, but he had dark, tight jeans on with a maroon sweater. "Hey, Cowboy, draw the short straw on the babysitting duties?" I sighed.

"I volunteered," he answered.

Bringing my eyes to Jasper, I glared at him. "I told you I wouldn't leave."

"And I want to be sure you don't." He turned to Peter. "I gotta go. Aro's waiting for me. I've got two appointments but I should be home by midnight." Peter lifted his hand and cupped Jasper's cheek, tracing the lines of recently dried tears.

"You okay, babe?" Swallowing thickly, Jasper nodded slightly before placing a kiss on Peter's cheek. Jasper left and Peter sat down next to me on the couch.

"At least the accommodations are better than the hospital." I shrugged before getting up and going into my room.

The next day, and the day after that, were a repeat. Jasper stayed in bed all day, sometimes crying, sometimes just staring at nothing and hugging Teddy. I stayed by his side every second, even when he told me he wanted to be alone, I refused to leave him. My heart broke for him. Nothing I did helped. I offered to let him fuck me, but he said no. When I asked him if he had talked to Beautiful, he said it was too hard. When I pushed him on it, he said it was better for Edward to have a clean break, whatever the fuck that meant. He said Edward needed to move on and if he talked to Edward it would give him hope that they could still be together.

And apparently hope was bad.

I wasn't exactly clear on why they couldn't still be together, but I knew better than to ask.

More than once I thought about using Jasper's cell phone to send Edward a text and let him know just how bad Jasper was feeling. I knew if Edward knew how much Jasper was suffering, he would come back. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't let him take Jasper away from me. My fingers would hover over the keys of Jasper's phone but I never pressed them. As awful as it was, I wanted Jasper with me more than I wanted him with Edward.

Each night, my babysitter promptly arrived and I promptly shut myself in my room.

That all changed Thursday night.

Peter showed up on schedule, Jasper kissed him on the cheek and left for work.

"Want to order a pizza?" I asked Peter. Like Jasper, I hadn't eaten in days, only for once I was actually hungry.

"How about I see what's in the kitchen and make dinner for us?" he offered, getting off the couch before I could refuse. He hadn't been in the kitchen long before I got curious and had to go see what he was doing.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," I said, sitting at the table and staring at his ass. If he was going to try to keep me out of my room, I was going to at least enjoy the view.

"Don't think I don't know you're staring at my ass," he glanced at me over his shoulder and I shrugged. "There is no food here. What have you guys been living on?"

"Define living."

Sighing, he closed the door the fridge. "You need food. Want to run down to the store with me?"

"What?" I hadn't left the apartment since Jasper and Edward had brought me home.

"The store. There's one on the corner a block down. Get dressed."

I went into my room and dug through the clothes on the floor to find the ones Peter had bought for me. When I walked back out, he was turning off the TV.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded. When he went to close the door, I stopped him.

"How will we get back in?"

"Jasper gave me a key." I followed him down the hall and onto the elevators. Nervously I stared at his reflection in the doors. "You okay?"

No. I wasn't. I wasn't sure I could do it. As much as I wanted to, I wasn't sure I could go outside, smell the streets, hear those distinct sounds, and not bolt. It was my chance. While Peter looked to be in good shape, probably ran every morning, he couldn't hide on the streets like I could.

"Aren't you afraid I'm going to run?" I asked him as the doors opened and he stepped off.

"Not really."

"Didn't Jasper tell you I've tried to leave a few times?"

"Why do you think he called me to stay with you?"

All right, I was confused. If Peter knew I was a flight risk, why wasn't he worried I would run from him?

"I think deep down you want get better and you know this is your chance. Besides," he answered my unasked question, "I would hunt your ass down. I happen to have friends in low places."

"Not this low."

"I wouldn't make that bet if I were you," he challenged.

As soon as we walked through the doors in the lobby, the scent and sounds of the streets hit me. Fucking hard. Exhaust from cars, people, food from restaurants. Horns blared, police sirens screamed in the distance, lights blinked and blinded, people walked by us, puddles gathered on the sidewalk. It was home. I didn't realize I was shaking until he put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, if you can't do this we go back up and order takeout."

His warmth seeped through my shirt and I shuddered for a different reason. "I'm okay," I lied.

I wasn't okay. I wanted to run, I could practically fucking smell the drugs, almost feel them already coursing through my bloodstream, giving me that high I'd been missing for so long. There was only one thing that kept my feet still.

His hand on me.

"Let's go back," he said.

"No!" I couldn't miss my chance to… "I'm okay. Really."

He glanced around, then took his hand off my shoulder and I sucked in a sharp breath. It was now or never. My eyes darted around for the nearest route, the one would bring me back to the docks, to Ricky and drugs, the quickest.

Then, just as I thought about taking that first step, the warmth from my shoulder suddenly filled my trembling hand. Looking down, I saw his hand engulfing mine. I'd never held hands with anyone but Jasper before. Well, and a boy I had known in high school. I went to tug my hand free, but he only tightened his grip.

"I can see it in your eyes. You're thinking about it," he whispered. "Don't do it, Riley."

"Why?" I breathed.

"Because you've got a chance here, don't blow it."

Shaking my head, I clenched my eyes. "Just let me go. He won't know. Just say I left when you were in the bathroom or something."

"No. I'm not going to lie to him for you. But if you want to go, right now, I won't stop you, but I don't think you really do."

"I do. I fucking really do," I confessed, my voice barely audible.

Suddenly the warmth was gone and my hand was hanging there, empty. "Then go."

I sucked in gulps of air, my mind twisting with my options as I looked around. There was a woman across the dress in a short fur coat. Her purse was huge. I could easily cross the street and rip her purse off her shoulder. Probably had enough cash for a few hits. It was early, Ricky would still be at the docks. He would give me what I needed, what my entire body craved more than the food Peter and I were going to get. I wouldn't even have to turn a trick, I could just get high in the abandoned building.

Peter kept his eyes on me as he took a step backwards. Instinctively, I stepped toward him. Like a fucking moth to the flame. He took another. So did I. My eyes never left his as he took a few more steps, then stopped. When I stopped, I realized I was as close to him as before. There was no more space between us.

As much as I had wanted to, I hadn't run. I'd followed him.

Lifting his hand, he held it out for me. Reaching out with my own shaking one, I took his and he smiled. "Come on," he said, tugging on me. "Let's get food."

We walked down the street, our hands tightly gripping between us. It felt odd. Nice. "How did you know I wouldn't go?" He had to have been pretty fucking confident that I wasn't going to bolt.

"I could just tell."

"How?"

"I'm pretty good at reading people."

So was I. Except for the man walking next to me.

"Jasper tells me you've agreed to go to rehab."

"Yeah, but…I don't know."

He stopped short, jerking me to a stop with him. "Excuse me?"

"I told him I would, but I'm not stupid. I know it's expensive. I know Jasper can't afford it. I'm going to end up back out here anyway. It's only a matter of time."

"No, you're not," he growled. "I saved your ass, you're going to get clean."

"It's a fantastic ass though. Totally worthy of saving," I tried to smile.

"But is the rest of you?"

I couldn't face those eyes so I looked down at the dirty, wet sidewalk. "Not sure."

"I am," he replied quickly and with confidence. "You might not ever have another chance like this again. Get your life back, get the life you deserve to live."

"How?"

"Go to rehab."

"Are you this dominating in bed too?" I raised a brow.

"More."

I didn't doubt it.

"Fuck," I groaned.

"I'll make some phone calls tomorrow," he said, leaving no room for debate. He walked quickly, pulling me along beside him. Once we reached the store, he compromised and let me push the wagon after he said no to me sitting in it. We went up and down the aisles.

"Anything?"

He nodded. "Anything you want."

Glancing around, I leaned toward him and whispered in his ear. "I can jack some food of it if you want."

"Not necessary. Just fill the cart."

So I did. With cookies, chips, bacon, beer, frozen pizza, and oranges. Vitamin C was very important. I'd learned that in health class once.

"You like oranges?"

"Yeah. Vitamin C is good for you," I answered proudly. Sometimes I impressed even myself.

Smiling, he nodded. "Yes, it is. Oranges are my favorite fruit."

"I guess we have something in common besides Jasper's cock," I returned. Ignoring the gasp from the old granny next to us, I pushed the cart down the aisle. Peter apologized to the woman and then caught up to me.

"Do you even have a verbal filter?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

He mumbled under his breath, something about more than he bargained for, and then grabbed a few things for the dinner he had planned. When he put a gallon of milk in the wagon, I grinned.

"Milk has Vitamin D. It's good for your bones," I beamed at my knowledge. Jasper would be impressed.

"Yes and yes."

Once the cart was half full, we headed to the front of the store and waited in line. Nervous, I practically bounced around.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied again. I wasn't used to paying for food. I didn't know how to do it. Peter emptied our wagon and the girl behind the small counter slid our food across the scanner. My heart pounded in my chest when she told us it was going to be fifty dollars and sixty cents. I didn't have that kind of money. But Peter took his credit card out and swiped it. We left with our food and I hadn't even stolen any of it.

Not one thing.

There was no hand holding on the way back to the apartment because our arms were heavy with bags. Peter talked the entire way, and I knew he was trying to keep my mind off the fact that my entire body was in flight or fight mode. And I wanted flight. More than a dozen times in the span of the short walk I thought about dropping the food and making a run for it. I'd be around the corner before he even realized I was gone. With my knowledge of the streets, there was no way he could find me. Not until it was too late anyway.

But each time I thought about it, Jasper's face popped into my head. He was out getting fucked to pay for my rehab. I remembered how happy and proud he looked the night I'd told him I would go. All those nights on the streets we'd had each other's backs, all the shit we'd been through together, I couldn't do it to him. I couldn't let him down. Not again.

I was breathless with the effort of resisting escape by the time we reached Jasper's building. We lugged the bags to the apartment and Peter opened the door. After putting the food in the kitchen, I mumbled I was going to take a shower while he cooked. Stripping my clothes on the way, I turned on the water and got inside before it was even warm. Slowly, I slid down the tiled wall until my ass sat on the floor of the stall. Bending my knees, I put my forehead on them and began to cry.

My body physically ached and yearned for a high. I hurt all over, but it was my heart that hurt more than anything. And for once I didn't think getting high would fix it, and that scared me.

That Saturday, Jasper never got ready for work. He never left my arms. We were in bed, we had barely gotten up, Jasper's back against chest. Nudging the nape of his neck with my nose, I rubbed his hipbone with my thumb.

"Angel, don't you have work?" He shook his head, then rolled over and pulled me closer to him. "No johns tonight?"

"Peter reserved me for the weekend," he mumbled into my chest. His hand ran lazily up and down my back and I couldn't help it when my cock reacted to having him so close and started to lengthen. I hadn't slept in my room since Edward had left and being naked with Jasper next to me all night every night began to frustrate me. I hadn't had sex in weeks, since the day I'd been beaten. With the exception of Edward's blow job, I hadn't gotten off in almost as long.

"We need to talk," Jasper announced quietly. "Peter was able to get you into that rehab we showed you the other day."

A few days earlier Peter had come over and while I sat next to Jasper, Peter was on his laptop. I didn't look, I didn't want to see it then. It would make it too real. When he was done, he lifted his eyes to mine and stared at me, a decision weighing on him. It was a few long moments before he finally sighed and moved his gaze to Jasper.

Then he offered to pay for it. All of it. When Jasper refused, Peter said it could be a loan. It was my only chance, and for once, I wanted it. More than anything I wanted it.

I turned to Jasper, asking, "Can we do that?"

"Yeah, we can do that," he answered quietly. He was willing to do anything for me, he'd already proven that by leaving Edward. After a quick kiss to Jasper, I went to peter and sat on his lap. Turning his face to me, I kissed him too, barely pushing my tongue between his lips. My stomach flipped, like I was sick but I wasn't. It was more of a nervousness or excitement that I couldn't contain. The feeling that rushed through me was similar to a high. I felt dizzy and warm and really fucking relaxed and tense at the same time. I'd only felt that way with one other person, and he was sitting a few feet away from me.

In Jasper's arms, I inhaled sharply. This shit was becoming a reality way too quick. "When?" I choked out.

"Monday morning."

I lost it. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried to stop the tears but they came anyway. Jasper pulled my head to his and let me cry. I felt foolish, but I'd never been so scared. What if I failed? What if it didn't work? What if I got done and I still wanted the drugs? It took everything I had left in me to not push Jasper out of bed and run to the door. Naked or not, I didn't care, I needed to get out before they locked me up for good.

"I'm not leaving you," he reminded me. His hand skimmed my side, gently stroking up and down while I shook under his touch. "You can do this, sweetheart, I know you can."

Before he even finished saying the words, I was shaking my head, my hair falling in front of my face. "I can't. I can't. I can't."

"Yes, you can. You're the strongest person I know."

I tried a different tactic. "I can't leave you. What are you going to do without me?"

He sighed and I saw his bottom lip begin to quiver. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "But I'll be able to visit you. Peter told me a few things about it."

"Like what?" I reached up and wiped my cheeks. Stupid fucking tears.

"He showed me some pictures. It's really nice. He also got you a private room so you won't have a roommate to bother you. I can't see you for the first seventy-two hours, but after that I can come visit you every few days."

"You can come see me?"

"It's really close. I will come every day I'm allowed to," he promised. His touch on my body began to soothe me and my racing heart started to slow down and my breaths started to even out.

"How long will I be there?"

"Four months."

"WHAT!" I jerked back. "Are you fucking serious? Four fucking months? No fucking way. No. Isn't going to happen. Fuck it. Just let me go." I tried to push him away but his hand on my side suddenly dug into me and before I could react, he slung a leg over me and pulled me to him. I struggled against his hold, but he was too strong. My healing bruises began to sting under his strength and my incision tightened and pulled sharply. "Jesus fucking Christ, let me go."

I fought him, but his arms had pinned mine down and I ended up just uselessly squirming against him, accomplishing nothing but getting an erection because our cocks were pressed together. Grunting, I thrashed until I exhausted myself, finally falling limp. Gradually, he cautiously loosened his hold on me, but he never completely let me go. I felt his cock twitching against mine.

"That's only a day from now," I mumbled. "That's why Peter gave you the weekend off, isn't it?"

Jasper nodded. "He wanted me to be able to spend it with you. What do you want to do? Want to watch Wizard of Oz?"

It was one fucked up movie, and honestly those flying monkeys scared the fucking shit out of me. It just wasn't right. Then again, neither was a tin man or dancing gay scarecrow. But it was a movie that brought Jasper some joy, it was something he reverted to when he was scared.

"Do you have popcorn?"

For the first time Edward had left, Jasper almost smiled as he nodded. "Let's get pizza first."

"Only if you let me tip the delivery boy," I suggested and he nodded again.

So we spent my second to last night of freedom watching Dorothy find her way home while eating pizza and popcorn on Jasper's bed. Other than having my best friend with me, the highlight of my night had been answering the door in my birthday suit and seeing the blush on the guy's face as I handed him the money. I brought the pizza back into the bedroom.

"Did you tip him?"

"Best tip of his damn life," I chuckled.

I wasn't going to lie. Every second I sat there, even when I was wrapped up in the cocoon of Jasper's body, I wanted to flee. Get the fuck out of Dodge and all that shit. There wasn't a single part of me that didn't scream at me to run. Wait for Jasper to fall asleep and then run.

But for some reason I never did.

I let him hold me and I held him back. All night long.

Sighing at the memory, I stared blankly at the ceiling, much like Jasper did when Edward was gone. Rolling onto my back, I blindly reached out with my good arm and felt for the soft fur I knew was resting against my pillow. I pulled it to me, holding it close before lifting my head to bury my nose in it and inhale Jasper's weak scent.

Even after two weeks, it was still clinging to the brown fur of his Teddy bear. Probably because I had made him sleep with it between us my last night before I was admitted. My cock twitched at the memory and I groaned. When I could practically feel Jasper's warmth next to me, I realized I was probably going to have to jerk off. Not like I had anything else to do. Playing shuffleboard or taking a walk weren't exactly high on my priority list.

My mind easily slipped back to that night two weeks before. My last night of freedom.

We had slept in from the night before. I woke up with him spooning me and I felt okay until I remembered it was my last day with him. But before I could sneak out of bed and out the door, he woke up and kissed my shoulder. I don't know how the fuck he made it all okay with a kiss, but he did. He coaxed me out of bed and into the shower. It was Sunday morning. The flight that Edward had left the ticket for was only a few hours away, but Jasper never mentioned it. I thought the lack of tears in the shower was because he was getting better, but when I looked into his eyes I saw the agony he was carrying around every second. They were faded and empty of the light that being with Edward had filled them with. Jasper was holding back his emotions because of me. He didn't want to upset me on my last day.

And he said I was the strongest person he knew.

After the shower, we put on some sleep pants and he led me to the living room where he opened his laptop and showed me the rehab center's website. He went over a few things Peter had told him about it and showed me some pictures and a video.

Stupidest fucking video ever.

Beautiful people smiling. As if all addicts were hot and happy. Fuck that. They were ugly and miserable. Drugs fucked with your looks. You took the wrong shit and you lost your teeth or messed up your skin. Then the video showed the same people running along the beach and doing yoga.

What. The. Fuck.

I glared at Jasper. "I'm not doing fucking yoga."

He continued to stare at the monitor, but I swear he smiled. "You'd look hot in spandex."

"Well, yeah, but I'm still not doing it."

Then the people were hugging and talking. I imagined there would be a lot of that shit going on. I didn't hug just anyone. That was personal. Fuck them? Sure. Hug them? No.

Next he showed me checklist of what I could and couldn't bring.

"Mouthwash? I can't bring mouthwash?"

He shrugged.

"It says I need a driver's license or ID," I said, almost hopefully. I didn't have those. If all places wanted them, I wouldn't be able to go.

"Peter took care of it. He explained part of your situation and they waived it."

"Fuck," I growled under my breath. Fucking efficient Peter. I hated him.

"We need to get you some things. Like shampoo and stuff. Want to go shopping?"

He was heading for his bedroom before I could reply. Sighing, I clicked through some more of the site, trying to find out where I was going to be spending the next four months.

We got dressed and headed downstairs. I hadn't been out since Peter had taken me grocery shopping, but Jasper didn't seem worried I would run either. As we approached the lobby doors, I felt my heart skipping a few beats in anticipation. I was getting ready to run, my mind raced to plan my escape route. But as much as my brain told me to run, my heart looked at the boy next to me, trying to act brave when I knew he was just as fucking scared as I was. Instead of running, I grabbed his hand, weaving our fingers together as we stepped out onto the sidewalk.

Jasper grounded me.

He reminded me of the man I could be. The one that he saw inside me, the one that I had thought I'd lost a long time ago. Somehow Jasper saw that boy and had faith in him.

He hailed us a cab and we got inside. It was easier in the car and my body settled a little. Jasper had the guy drop us off at a large store and pulled me out of the cab. We found the men's department and picked out some clothes for me. Some jeans, a lot of tee shirts, a few sweatshirts, new underwear, and socks. He looked at me funny when I asked if they were Armando jeans.

Jasper paid with cash and we left with a few stuffed bags. Instead of getting another cab, he held my hand and we walked the half a block to a drug store where he bought me deodorant, toothpaste, body wash, shampoo, razors and shaving cream. He carried two bags in one hand so he could still hold mine as we left and he caught another cab. Stuffing everything in the backseat, he asked if wanted to go out to eat but I said no.

"I just want to spend the night with you," I said, putting my head on his shoulder.

Back at his apartment, he pulled out his luggage, the suitcase he had used for Texas and his trip with Edward.

"You can use this."

If Jasper was giving me his suitcase, he wasn't planning on going to Chicago.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he whispered before quickly turning and going to his room.

Figuring he could use some time alone, I stayed in my room and stuffed the clothes he'd bought me into the suitcase. I grabbed Jasper's pajama pants I'd been wearing and put them in. When everything was packed, I sat on my bed and looked around the room. I'd only been there a few weeks but it was the closest thing to a home I had. It was the first place I had spent more than a few nights at in four years. I still felt caged, but I was beginning to see the advantages to having a place to stay every night. A bed, food and a place to shower. All the comforts most people took for granted every fucking day. Sitting on the bed, I thought about living there with Edward and Jasper and all that had happened. I remembered finding them fucking on the couch. How feral it had been. But at the same time, there had been something else there. Jasper slammed into Edward, but then he leaned over him and kissed him as tenderly as he could. It wasn't fucking, it was something different.

They were making love.

And I watched them. I watched Jasper take Edward, make him come without even touching him, then empty his own cock inside Beautiful's perfect ass. I left, went back to my bedroom and closed the door, practically panting from what I'd seen. Ignoring my hard on, I got into bed. Seeing them had bothered me. I'd seen Jasper fuck a lot of people, but not like that. Instead of falling asleep to images of them fucking, I fell asleep to images of Jasper making love to me just like he did Edward. I had never even jerked off.

Standing, I walked into Jasper's room and found him lying on the bed on his side, Teddy wrapped in his arms as silent tears streamed down his face. I walked over to him and knelt beside his bed. He opened his eyes and looked at me.

God, he looked so fucking lost.

"Jasper, will you do something for me before I go?" I asked softly.

Exhaling, he nodded. "Anything."

Unable to hold his gaze, I looked down at his lips. "Will you make love to me?" Before he could answer, I continued, "I've seen you do it with Edward. Even when you fuck him, it's love. I want that. I don't think I'll ever have it with anyone else and I want to know what it's like."

Releasing Teddy, he reached out and tucked my hair behind my ear. "C'mere," he said, tugging on the ends of my hair.

I got onto the bed next to him and he drew me into a kiss, light and gentle at first, but then I felt his tongue trace the seam of my lips and I parted them for him. The spark between us ignited and the kiss immediately went from gentle to passionate. Tongues swept over each other, lips mashed together, and noses bumped while hands fumbled with clothing. The kiss was only broken to pull shirts over our heads. A few minutes later, our pants lay in a heap on the floor as his fingertips danced along the discolored skin of my back as he pulled me on top of him, his mouth moving along my jaw. Under his briefs, his erection throbbed, and I knew that as much as his body wanted me, his heart wanted another. Moaning, I lifted myself and looked down at him. His cheeks were still damp from his tears. I lowered myself and kissed them away, tasting the salt they had left behind.

"Make love to me, angel," I whispered in his ear. "Not him. Me."

Gasping, his breath stopped before he exhaled and nodded. I brushed my cheek against his, sharing his pain, nuzzling it away until my lips met his mouth in a savage, needy kiss. His blunt nails dug into my ass as he pressed me to him. My own hands reached his hair, brushing it off his face, I twisted it around my fingers, desperate to keep him with me. Only me. Leaving his mouth, my lips traveled over his jaw and down his neck.

"Riley," he released in a throaty murmur as his cock twitched. I smiled against the tender skin of his neck. He was thinking of me.

He didn't argue that I wasn't supposed to have sex, he just gave me what I needed.

Him.

I worked my way down his body, kissing every inch of his chest along the way. When I felt the elastic of his underwear, I paused, looking up at him through my lashes one last time. His darkened eyes were on me, his lip between his teeth. Watching him, I hooked my fingers in the waistband and tugged it down over his cock, my own jerking when the head of his tapped my chin. Immediately, my tongue came out and I dragged it along the entire length of his cock. Finally taking my gaze from his, I closed my eyes and concentrated on how good he tasted, how incredible he smelled. Running my nose along him, I took a deep breath and filled my lungs with his scent, committing it to memory. When I reached his sac, I took one ball into my mouth and sucked hard, pleased when his hips bucked up wanting more. I splayed my hands on his hips, holding him still as I lavished attention to his balls, licking and sucking until each one was thoroughly soaked and tight with need.

"Need you," he groaned. "So fucking bad."

"You got me, angel," I reminded him as I slid his briefs down far enough so he could kick them off. Once freed, he parted his legs wider and I buried my face in his ass. Parting his cheeks with my hands, I darted my tongue out, letting it trace his entrance a few times to tease him before spitting on him and dipping my tongue into his hole.

"Fuck," he moaned, turning his head to the side and closing his eyes. Shamelessly, he reached down around his thighs and lifted his legs for me, exposing his tight hole for me to devour. My own hips moved against the bed in hopes of relieving some of the pressure, but it was useless. I needed him. Peeking out from between his legs, I eyed him, proud to see pleasure, and not pain, on his face. Covering his hands on his legs with mine, I continued to tongue fuck him, prodding his fluttering hole as deeply as I could. I'd never had a sweeter tasting ass.

Letting his legs fall, I moved from his ass, and after placing a kiss on his cock and licking the bead of precum off the tip while I was there, I slid back up his body until our mouths met. Grinding my cock into his, I relaxed my weight on him completely, moaning when I felt his hands sliding my underwear down my ass. Our kisses never became insistent, they remained lingering and tender, tongues sharing reacquainted flavors. Jasper's body was like a livewire. Every place I touched, he trembled and groaned. He was so fucking responsive to everything I did, and I couldn't help but fall deeper into his embrace, returning his fevered reactions.

I knew what he wanted, what he needed, before he even asked. He didn't have to speak for me to know what his body craved. We had certainly been together enough for me to know each and every reaction and what they meant. With his hands tangled in my hair, his body writhed under mine.

"Will you top me?" he asked with a raspy voice into the kiss between his shallow breaths.

I had topped him before. A few times. Jasper and I had a give and take sexual relationship. We took out the frustration and anger that had built up on the streets on each other. In the abandoned building, I would beg him to fuck me and he did, but on the rare occasion, the tables turned and it had been Jasper begging for my cock in him. I realized that topping Jasper when he needed it most, when he needed to be taken care of, was part of making love.

Nodding, I captured his lips again, moving one hand from his hip to my underwear to pull them off the rest of the way. Once they were off, I reached for the lube on the table and broke the kiss to kneel between his parted legs. He gazed at me through half closed lids as I drizzled lube on my fingers and reached down to his ass. Watching him, I slipped my middle finger inside him, gently pushing it deeper until his back arched and he groaned.

Like I said, I knew Jasper's body. As well as my own. I knew exactly where that sweet spot was inside him. Grazing it again, he repeated his movement, pushing his ass down onto my finger. Quickly and easily, I slid another inside him, twisting them back and forth until he was pumping his hips for more.

"Please," he begged quietly. There was flush all over his cheeks and neck, even his shoulders were pink from arousal, but his cock remained untouched. Both his hands were next to him clutching the blanket as he wantonly fucked himself with my fingers. "I need you." He caught my eyes and held them.

Sliding my fingers out, I leaned over him and grabbed a condom from the table, ripping it open. As if it was the last act of his request, confirming what he'd already asked for, he rose to his elbows and took the condom from me. He tugged the condom down my cock, then pulled on my hands until I was pressing his body into the mattress with my weight. Our cocks rubbed along each other as we kissed more frantically than before. Suddenly, Jasper flipped us over so he was lying on me.

"Fuck, angel," I groaned when the head of my cock grazed the crack of his ass. "Need to be in you."

Wordlessly he placed his knees on either side of my hips, our cocks met repeatedly. Holding his biceps, I bit my lip as he raised his hips and gripped my cock. Slowly, he lowered himself onto me until the head of my cock was pushing inside him, stretching him. He stopped, taking a few deep breaths. I wanted nothing more than to slam my hips up and bury my cock balls deep in him, but that wasn't making love. Pain and ecstasy crossed Jasper's face as his ass adjusted and he slid further down my cock. Gritting his teeth, he dropped his head forward as he continued to move until my cock was completely sheathed in the tightest ass I'd ever had. Once he was seated on me, he reached for my hand, tugging on it.

"C'mere," he mouthed.

Using my other hand, I pushed myself up until I was sitting. Jasper still straddled me, my cock was still buried in him as he wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed me. His hips were still and my cock throbbed in him as our mouths never parted. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, he began to circle his hips, grinding his ass on my cock until my eyes rolled back into my head.

"Jesus," I groaned into the kiss before he pulled away. Our chests were pressed together, our noses touching. Every one of his movements was slow and deliberate. Keeping me his rapt stare, he leisurely rode me, rolling his hips. One of his hands played with the ends of my hair while my arms were around his back, my nails digging into him as I tried to control myself. Breaching the small space between us, he softly kissed me.

Time seemed nonexistent. It could have been minutes or hours, I had no fucking idea. All I knew was he was on me, caressing me, kissing me, with my cock in his ass. When we weren't kissing, he was staring at me. His eyes were so blue, so full of emotions. I saw his longing and grief for Beautiful. I saw his love and pride for me. Hovering between us, his erection leaked onto me. I wrapped my fingers around him and gave him one good drag.

"Feels so good, sweetheart," he sighed.

In the dark bedroom, filled with our keening sounds and musky scent, Jasper showed me what making love was.

Making love was putting a condom on your lover to get them ready for you.

Making love was letting your lover decide the position even when you were topping.

Making love was going slow and letting your lover adjust, and not slamming into them.

Making love was stroking your lover instead of them doing it themselves.

Making love was wanting them to come and not caring if you did.

Making love was holding their stare, letting them see everything inside you even when it scared the shit out of you and made you feel vulnerable.

It seemed we lasted all night, our bodies shifting and sliding together, kissing and touching, stroking and groaning. The whispered words spoken between us were ones of love and promises. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. Jasper started to shake and I knew he was getting close. I pumped him faster until he was constantly whimpering.

"That's it, angel," I murmured in his ear. "Come for me."

A few strokes later, he did. His ass clenched around me as his cock pulsed in my hand, then erupted onto my chest. Long, ropes of his cum splattered onto us as his body shuddered and tensed with each hit of his orgasm. Resting his forehead on mine, his breath hot on my face, he lifted his ass a little, offering me exactly what I needed.

"Take me," he whispered.

Gripping his ass with both hands, I supported him while slowly moved to my knees. He locked his legs around me and I began to thrust up into his tight heat.

"Gonna come," I mumbled. Panting, I gazed into his eyes as my cock swelled in his ass and I came. Waves of pleasure hit me, crashing over my body and enveloping it in a euphoria I'd only known with Jasper. As my cock emptied in him, he continued to rock his hips on me, drawing out my climax for as long as possible. Grunting each time I felt my cock twitch, I clung to Jasper, kissing him gently. "Thank you for showing me what it was like."

"Rile, someday you're going to find someone to make love to you all the time, and they will be the luckiest person in the world."

I already did. If Jasper and I loved each other, why couldn't it be us? We were already boyfriends. "I love you," I breathed into the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered.

It was long moments later before he eased himself off me and went to get a towel to clean up. After taking the condom off, I wiped off my chest and then welcomed him back into my arms. With him facing me, I slung a leg over his and pressed my body to him. His finger traced my eyes, cheeks and lips.

"I'm scared," I murmured.

"I know. Me too," he confessed. "Do you want to bring Teddy?"

I couldn't help but smile at his innocent offering. "Will you be okay without him?"

"You need him more." Reaching around him, I grabbed Teddy from the table and brought him between us, shoving him down toward our cocks. Jasper just stared at me.

"I want him to smell like you," I shrugged, bringing my hand back up to his. "What if I can't do it?"

"You can."

"How do you know that?" I scoffed, pissed he was so confident that I could do something so difficult.

"Because you're Riley, and Riley can do anything." He gave me a sad smile and I rolled my eyes. "At fifteen you were smart enough to find a way to survive. You've faced a lot of shit out there, and you're still here."

"I survived because of you."

"You survived because you're smart. You were out there for two years before I came along. I only kept you company."

"We had fun, didn't we?" I smiled.

"Yeah, we did."

We were quiet for a minute while his finger still roamed my face. "Jasper?" He didn't reply, just looked at me. "Are you going to go to Edward?"

Instantly his eyes closed. Just before the first tear slid from under his lashes, he shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."

My heart leapt at his promise. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong, but I still felt happy he was staying with me. "Maybe when I get out of rehab, we can go see him together?" I offered quietly.

He tried to smile, but failed, settling for a slight nod. "Yeah, maybe."

I didn't believe him.

There was no more talking for the rest of the night. There was only kissing and holding.

It was a perfect last night of freedom.

The next morning, Peter arrived and carried my bags downstairs to a big black car. Jasper and I sat in the backseat, my hand in his, my head on his shoulder while Peter drove us to the outer edge of Seattle. When he pulled up in front of what looked like a large stucco house, I took a few deep breaths. There were flowers planted along the walkway that led to the front steps. It was like they were trying to cheer people up before they faced four months of sheer hell. With Jasper's hand in mine, I walked through the heavy wooden doors. I didn't even notice what it was like inside. All I saw was a large counter where Peter talked with a woman. Jasper stood so close I could feel his body heat, and I reveled in my last few minutes with him.

The woman walked out from behind the counter and came over with Peter. She introduced herself as Carla, an intake specialist, whatever the fuck that was, and shook my hand. She went over the procedure with me, that was exactly what she called it, 'procedure', and then asked if I had any questions. I was too fucking scared for questions. Grasping Jasper's hand so hard I was sure I was hurting him, I shook my head.

"Then why don't you say goodbye to your friends and we can begin," she smiled. Numb, I nodded and watched her walk back to the counter.

Peter stepped forward and curved a hand around the back of my neck, pulling me to him. Leaning forward, he kissed my forehead, then put his mouth at my ear. "You can do this." With a small smile, he took a few steps back. "I'll wait for you outside," he said to Jasper and walked toward the door.

I had promised myself I wouldn't cry. I was going to be strong and show Jasper I could do it, but as soon as he turned to me, I lost it. Flinging myself at him, I clung to him tighter than I ever had.

"Please don't leave me here. I'll be good. I swear I won't ever use again," I begged desperately.

He held me just as tight. "Sweetheart, you need this. Get clean and then come back to me, okay? I'll be here for you."

"Please, angel, don't make me do this," I whispered as my tears soaked his tee shirt. Lifting his head from my shoulder, he took my chin into his hand and pulled me in for a kiss. It was sweet and tender and had all the promise of goodbye.

"I'll be back in seventy-two hours. If you need anything, make a list. Keep Teddy safe." Realizing he wasn't going to give in, I nodded and wiped the tears from my cheeks, trying to gather some fucking strength. "Love you, Rile."

"Love you too," I murmured and then felt his lips one last time before he took a step back. Then another and another until only our clasped hands were left touching. Then it was only fingertips, another step later and my empty hand fell limply to my side. With a half smile and sadness in his stormy eyes, he turned and left.

I was alone.

Carla came over to me as soon as Jasper was out the door. When she reached for my luggage, I grabbed her wrist.

"I need to search your belongings," she explained. Slowly, I let her go. "Come with me, let's get you started." After one last glance at the door to be sure Jasper hadn't changed his mind, I followed her down the hall to a small room. "This is our intake room."

She heaved the bag onto a table and unzipped it. After putting on some gloves, she began to shuffle through all my stuff. All my carefully folded clothes were a mess. When she reached my skimpy bright pink underwear, she raised a brow, but didn't say anything. Feeling like a caged animal, I stood in the corner with clenched fists, looking around. While she went through the bag, she spoke.

I didn't hear a fucking word she said.

"Did you hear me?" she asked, glancing up. "I asked when was the last time you used?"

"Used?"

"Drugs."

"I had morphine in the hospital."

"Nothing more?"

I shook my head. Apparently my luggage passed inspection because she zipped it up and turned to me.

"What? You need to search me now?"

"Not exactly, but I need to pat you down. So if you have any needles or drugs on you, hand them over now," she said. Her words were demanding, but her voice was calm, even soft.

When I didn't move, she came over and began to pat me down. I'd been arrested enough times, it wasn't anything I hadn't been through before. Reaching my feet, she had me take off my shoes and looked inside them before giving them back. Then she handed me a cup.

"I need a urine sample," she said.

"Right here? Now?"

"There's a bathroom behind you."

I took the cup and went into the bathroom, barely able to piss more than a few drops before I zipped up my pants and went back out.

"Sorry, that's all I've got."

"It's enough." She wrote my name on it. "I'll show you to your room," she said, leaving and expecting me to follow.

Grabbing my bag, I did just that. She opened the door and I walked in, instantly thankful I didn't have to share a room. The room was actually soothing with pale walls and dark wood floor. It was pretty big, as big as my room as Jasper's, and there was a window on one wall with olive green curtains on it. The bed was big enough for two, which confused me. The blankets on it matched the curtains. Next to it was a dark dresser with a mirror above it and across from the end of the bed was a fireplace. There was no television.

"There is a close circuit camera in each room," Carla said, pointing to the corner by the bed. "Video only, no sound. The bathroom is there." Opening the door, I peeked inside and saw a large shower stall and marble sink. Towels and extra supplies were stacked on a shelf. "Lights out at eleven, but you can read or something if you can't sleep. Mr. Carlson said you are on Clonazepam and Naltrexone for physical withdrawals?"

"Yeah," I mumbled.

"How are they working for you? Strong enough?"

"I guess."

"Do you still have any symptoms? Seizures, vomiting, pains?"

"I shake a lot," I answered, holding my hand up to prove it to her. My fingers trembled even as I tried to hold them still.

"Well, after Dr. Dolan takes your history and gives you a physical, he might prescribe Methadone."

Drugs to stop the drugs. It made no fucking sense to me.

"He'll be by in a few minutes. Why don't you get settled in?" She gave me a smile and then left, leaving my door wide open. Sighing, I sat on the bed and looked around. What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

The knock on my door startled me and I jumped. A man with short gray hair and glasses came in. I knew he was a doctor because he had a stethoscope around his neck. He introduced himself as Dr. Dolan and then led me down to an examination room where he had me strip down to my underwear. He didn't gasp when he saw my healing bruises or the scar from my incision.

"Why don't you get on the examination bed," he instructed and I climbed on it. "What happened?"

"Bar fight."

"Quite a beating."

"I don't remember."

He nodded but I wasn't sure if he believed me. Not that I cared. He looked me over, paying close attention to my forearms, behind my knees and feet. I knew he was looking for the injection marks, but there were none. Then he checked my heart, lungs, and a bunch of other shit. He asked questions about my medical past and drug use. What kind, how often, how I did them.

"Any medical issues we should be aware of?"

"Other than the obvious? No."

I had always lived my life for me. No one else. I did what I wanted to do, and I didn't make excuses for it. If I wanted to fuck someone, I did. If I wanted drugs, I did them. But sitting there, cold and under a bright light, I felt more naked than ever, and ashamed of what I had done in my past. Most of my replies were mumbled, but he wrote them all down. He never scolded me or said I was bad or wrong, he just accepted my answers. Then he asked the hardest question of all.

"Why are you here?"

How the fuck did I know?

Telling him 'because I hit Beautiful' didn't seem like the right answer. And I wanted to give the right answer.

I shrugged. "To get clean, I guess."

He nodded and wrote something down. "You can get dressed. We have group therapy in an hour. If you feel up to going, you can. If not, you can start tomorrow. I'm going to keep you on the meds you're getting already. They seem to be working well enough. You have no diet restrictions. I want your calorie intake upped and I am prescribing vitamins. You're malnourished and about thirty pounds underweight."

Maybe he should live on the streets for four years and let's see how underweight he is.

"Is that bad?" I swallowed.

"It's typical for drug users. Don't worry, a few weeks of our gourmet meals and you'll put it back on. You can get dressed." He stood and left me alone in the room.

Two weeks later, I was lying on my bed hugging Jasper's Teddy bear. It had been the two fucking longest weeks of my life. Ignoring my thoughts on the intake 'procedure', I focused on being with Jasper the night before I left. I was hard almost the second I imagined him sitting on me. The way he had writhed, begging with his body for me to take him. His ass was so hot and tight around my cock. Reaching down, I unbutton and unzipped my jeans, opening them enough to pull my briefs down over my erection.

"Mmm," I moaned, wrapping my fingers around myself.

I pushed Teddy aside. It didn't seem right to jerk off holding a bear. Jasper's scent from it was still in my lungs as I began to pump myself in slow, measured strokes. It wasn't long before my hips were lifting off the bed to meet my fist. The longer I imagined Jasper riding me, the more the tingling in my belly began to intensify. Wetness beaded at the slit in my cock, and I ran my thumb over it to spread it around the head, groaning when I did. After I pulled my shirt up my chest, I let my other hand move down to my balls, rolling and palming them. Jerking off was about the only thing that I enjoyed doing there. Sometimes I took care of my morning wood in the shower. Sometimes at night I lay naked on my bed with my legs spread wide as I fingered myself and imagined Beautiful giving me head.

The fact that a camera was recording my every move, and that there was someone watching it, only made me more excited. I loved shooting my load over myself knowing that the security guard was jerking off to watching me.

Although the self loving was getting old. I wanted a real ass to fuck. Real lips on my dick. I should have at least brought Jasper's FleshJack. I didn't remember seeing fuck toys on the not allowed list.

"Oh God," I groaned at the thought of Jasper again. His hands were all over me, his tongue was exploring my mouth, his hair was tickling my cheeks. More than anything, his ass was clenching around my cock. "Yeah, that's it, come for me." My hand dragged along his cock, so red and swollen as he neared his climax. When he broke the kiss and sat up, it wasn't Jasper anymore, but Beautiful. With a coy smirk, he worked my cock in small, tight circles until I thought I was going to burst. Throwing his head back, I watched his Adam's apple bob as he cried out. He knew how to work that sweet ass of his.

"You my slut?" I asked him and he nodded eagerly. "Fuck me, slut."

Impaling himself on my dick, he was wild with abandon until he screamed my name and released all over my chest. Lifting his head, he stared down at me with dark blue eyes, Jasper's eyes, and his hair lengthened and lightened. Jasper's hand rested on my cheek.

"I'll always be your whore," he whispered lovingly.

"Fuck," I cried out, grunting as my cock pulsed right before short bursts of cum erupted from it and landed in stripes on my chest. "Fuck, fuck." My hand still pumped myself while my other played with my balls, now loose from their release. Gradually, I stopped stroking all together and sat up. Stripping off my shirt, I tossed it aside and headed for the bathroom to wash up. My stomach growled, reminding me that dinner was in a few minutes. I wiped the cum off my chest with a towel, then ran a hand through my hair and went back to the bed.

Teddy lay next to where I had just jerked off and I felt slightly guilty for doing it front of him. Wasn't like he hadn't seen enough fucking in Jasper's bedroom. I should have turned him around. When Jasper had come to visit me the first day after my seventy-two hours was up, I had offered to let him take Teddy back. Jasper looked exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes and his lips were dry. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was high. Except for the lost look in his eyes. They were bloodshot, but didn't have the tell tale glossiness of someone high did.

Jasper wasn't allowed in my room, so when he visited we went out to the backyard and sat at table. It was sunny for once, and Jasper actually smiled when I sat on his lap and not in another chair. I leaned my head on his and he wrapped his arms around me. It was so good to feel him again.

He looked awful. He looked tired and pale. And I knew why.

He told me I looked good and asked how I was doing with a quiet voice. I told him how much it sucked, how I wanted to crawl out of my skin and run away. At least I wasn't suffering the extreme physical withdrawals that others were. It seemed like someone was always vomiting. I did sleep a lot but supposedly that was normal. Jasper held my hand and kissed my neck.

"Is this okay?" he asked, motioning to how intimate we were sitting. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Like I give a shit," I mumbled, closing my eyes.

We didn't talk again until our hour was up. Sighing, I got up and walked him to the door.

"Take me with you?" I pleaded even though I knew he wouldn't. Instead, he kissed me, promising to be back in two days when he could visit again.

Then he left me there…again.

But he kept his word and came to see me every other day.

Moving Teddy to my pillows, I grabbed my shirt and put it back on. Then I left for the dining room.

I had expected a cafeteria style dining room, like the homeless shelters and soup kitchens with metal chairs around worn tables. The rehab's dining room was nothing like that. It was elegant with a large dark table and matching chairs. There were waiters that brought us our food and we all ate at the same time, only unlike in group therapy, we weren't' allowed to talk about drugs. Anything but our drug use. It was supposed to be preparing us for the real world and dealing with dinner situations after we left.

Sorry, but eating at a table, much less with people waiting on me, was as far from the real world as it got for me.

As usual, I ate in silence, barely listening to everyone's useless chatter around me. When the waiter came by, he gave me a sly wink and refilled my water glass for the third time. He left and I watched his ass in the black uniform pants. It wasn't bad. It wasn't as good as Jasper's but it would do in a pinch.

Smiling to myself, I wondered if there was a way I could sneak away and led him to a supply closet somewhere.

Dinner ended and I went back to my room. Carlton stopped by and asked if I wanted to watch TV with everyone but I said no. He looked at me longingly before walking off. He had left a puddle of drool on the floor where he stood.

Was there anyone that wasn't turned on by me?

Some days it was definitely more of a curse than a blessing.

Reaching for the iPod Peter had given me on his first visit, I put the things in my ears and turned on the music like he'd showed me. Thinking back to when he had come to see me, about a week after I had been dropped off, I closed my eyes. As the first song began to play, I sang along with it.

_Riley  
you don't have to put on the red light  
those days are over  
you don't have to sell you body to the night_

"Why are you here?" I sneered at him as he sat down in the chair across from me. "Where's Jasper?"

"Working."

"At fucking two in the afternoon on a Tuesday? He promised me he would be here," I growled. Not that Peter wasn't nice to look at, but he wasn't who I wanted to see right then.

Shrugging, he said, "What can I say, he called me and said he had to work. I offered to come in his place. If you want me to go-"

"NO!" I snapped. "It's fine."

Having Peter there was better than no one.

"You look well," he said, tilting his head and exuding calmness and domination. "Feeling better?"

"Not really, no. I kind of want to walk out those fucking doors, find my dealer and get high," I admitted coolly.

"That's understandable," he nodded.

"It is? Gee, thanks." I was a sarcastic fuck and what did he do? He actually fucking smiled. "What are you smiling at?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." Sighing, I looked away. "I've got something for you."

My ears perked up and I turned to face him again. I liked presents. A lot. "What?"

Leaning forward, he pulled an iPod out of his pocket. I'd stolen quite a few of them from tricks' cars but I'd never actually used one.

"Come here and I'll show you," he said, patting his chair. Exhaling very dramatically, because I was good at that drama shit, I pretended to think about it and then got up and went to him. Sitting my ass on the arm of the chair, I looked down at him expectantly.

Still half smiling, he took one of the wires and reached up toward me. Instinctively, I backed away, my good hand swinging up to protect myself. He paused and lowered his hand. "Watch me." Lifting his hand to his own ear, he put the end of the wire into his ear, the motioned for me to do the same. I took the other wire and put it in my right ear.

"NOW WHAT?"

He didn't just smile that time, he actually laughed. "You don't have to yell. I can hear you."

Huh. He wasn't yelling and I could hear him.

Then he held up the iPod and began scrolling through it, clicking on something so quickly, I didn't see what it was. But I heard it.

_You know that it would be untrue  
You know that I would be a liar  
If I was to say to you  
Girl, we couldn't get much higher_

Jim Morrison was crooning in my ear. I didn't even realize my head was bouncing with the beat until the song stopped and suddenly became Blue Oyster Cult's "Don't Fear the Reaper", nodding as I recognized it, he switched to "Dust in the Wind." It was all music that I had listened to as a teenager. I mean, what teenage boy didn't listen to The Doors? Morrison was hot. And bi.

"SOUNDS REALLY GOOD," I said and he laughed again. Slowly, he reached up and took the wire out of my ear. Pouting, I went to grab it from him, but he pulled it away. "You like classic rock?"

"I like all types, but I thought some of these songs were fitting for you. Want me to show you how to use it?"

Shrugging, I leaned closer to him as he held it up and began talking. "This is how you get to the playlists. See this one that says 'Riley'? That's yours. Then you press this and then press it again. To move through the music, you move this circle here." With my elbow on his shoulder, I watched as his large hands worked it. Maybe Jasper not coming wasn't so bad. "Got it?"

"You smell really nice." Cologne and…something else. Not body wash or shampoo though. It was more subtle. I wanted to lick him.

He ignored me. "Do you know how to work it?"

"Um, sure." Maybe. A little. Maybe not. "But why the quiz, Cowboy?"

He wrapped the wires around it and held it out to me. "Because it's yours. At least while you're in here."

"Wait, what?"

"I want you to use it. Trust me, it will help with the…urges. It's a good distraction. It worked for a friend of mine. Try it."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am."

"Are you always so formal?" Shifting, I put my mouth next to his ear. "I think I need to break you out of that formality. You need to let loose."

"I do?"

"Yep." I glanced around, we were alone. "There's a closet down the hall. Third door on the left. We can go in there. I'll blow you."

When he closed his eyes, I thought for a second he was considering my offer and I began to get hard already. "You don't need to blow me for the iPod."

"I'm not-"

"If you think of any other music you want on it, let me know and I'll add it for you."

The guy fucking confused me. I didn't understand how someone besides Jasper could give me shit and not want something for it. That wasn't how the world worked.

We spent the rest of the visit debating on the best classic rock band of all time. How he couldn't say it was The Doors was beyond me. "Sorry, Jagger has nothing on Morrison," I smirked.

Lying on my bed listening the music Peter had picked out for me, I held Teddy and remembered how scared I'd been that first night there.

After all the intake shit, I had decided not to go to the group meeting and spent the night in my room. I didn't unpack, hoping I might not be there long enough and if Jasper came to get me, I wanted to be able to leave quickly. I got into my bed fully clothed, even my sneakers, not daring to take them off in case someone stole them. My door was closed and locked, but I didn't trust anyone there. There was crash next door and I heard the staff running down the hall. Holding Teddy to my chest, I lay on my side and soaked his fur with my tears.

"Jasper," I whispered into the dark, "please come get me."

He didn't. The next day I got up and faced the rest of my life.

"**~~**"

Sighing, I sat down in the leather chair. The room was small, but big enough for a matching plush couch and chair. There was also a desk and bookshelves that lining one wall. The large window looked out into the green backyard. I should know, I stared out it enough during the two appointments I'd had with him already.

Dr. Dolan sat across from me in his usual position with one leg crossed over the other and a notepad in his hands. "I heard there was an incident yesterday. Would you care to explain?"

"Sure," I shrugged, "if I knew what the hell you were talking about."

"Another patient reported some activity in your room that might have been inappropriate," he explained cryptically.

"What? Jerking off?" It was the only thing I did besides sleep. I wasn't exactly living la vida loca.

He cleared his throat.

"What's so inappropriate about that?" I smirked. "It's a completely natural thing, Doc. You should try it. Might relieve some stress. I could show you how if you want." Leaning forward, I put my hand on his knee. "After all I'm a professional." I sat back, taking my hand with me. "Just like you."

He cleared his throat again. "Most of us do that sort of thing in private."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, Doc, I'm not like most people."

"Fair enough," he smiled. "But for future reference, please masturbate in private."

"I was. Except for the security guard watching me."

"Your door was open."

"I didn't ask Mort to stand in the hallway and watch. He is obviously repressing some issues."

"What makes you think it was Matt that complained?"

Matt. So thatwas his name.

I almost,_ almost_, rolled my eyes. It was really fucking hard to resist. Did I really need to explain it? Didn't he already know? After all, he was the one with the fancy degree hanging on the wall over his head, not me.

"It makes sense that he would be the one that would be offended," I shrugged.

"Oh? How so?"

Jesus fucking Christ. Did he want me to hold his dick when he took a piss too?

"Bob the Biker is MIA, Heather was probably in the common room watching Sixteen and Pregnant, because let's face it, it's going to be reality for her soon enough. Katelyn wouldn't have complained about seeing my cock, she would have reveled in it, got turned on, and then went and did the same thing in her room. Carlton most definitely wouldn't have complained because he's a fag. He probably would have joined me. Or offered to blow me. That leaves Mort. He's the only one whose delicate sensibilities would have been offended. Though I don't know why. It's not like he doesn't have a dick himself."

"Carlton's gay?" Dr. Dolan raised a brow.

"One hundred percent. He likes to pretend otherwise, but the thought of even hugging a woman, much less kissing one, makes his dick shrink. I wouldn't be surprised if there are lace panties in his drawers. Probably some fishnets too. Which," I smiled, "might actually look good on him. He's got nice legs."

He ignored my commentary, which was fucking dead on.

"Why do you think you flirt with everyone?"

Finally an easy question.

"Because I'm hot. Can I ask you something?"

"We're not here to talk about me," he replied as if that would make me change my mind. I waited until he nodded.

"Do you actually believe that shit they tell you in group?"

"Doesn't matter if I do or not, they believe it."

"So as long as they believe they were forced to try drugs against their will, that's all that matters? Not that they're lying?"

"Do you lie?"

"Fuck yes. I do what I have to do. But when I lie, it's worth it. It's not to hide why I do drugs." I stared at him. "You just let them lie to you." I shook my head. "There's no fucking way Carlton was molested. Trust me."

Thinking before replying, he put his pen down. "Riley, people need to rationalize the reason they do drugs. Some use it to cover up a pain or forget something. Sexual abuse if one of the more common reasons. In some cases, it did really happen."

"And others are full of shit."

"You seem to read people pretty well," he smiled, almost proudly.

"Kind of have to if you want to survive," I shrugged.

"Survive what?"

Sighing, I debated on telling him. According to the records they had, I was Jasper's 'life partner'. Peter said it would save questions about my address and lack of ID. The good doc knew I was gay. But there was no way for him to know where I had really come from. My eyes dropped to my lap as I considered my options.

I was there to get better and while I had gone almost four weeks without having any drugs besides the meds I had been taking, the urge for them was still strong. I had no doubt that if I were to walk out of that building right then, I would go straight to Ricky for a hit. My body craved it, but my mind craved it more. There was so much I wanted to forget, so much that drugs could help me forget. Jasper had told me if I got clean, if I lived with him and wasn't hooking, then I wouldn't have to forget so much anymore and maybe I wouldn't need the drugs.

Maybe.

Was he right? Did I trust Jasper enough to take a chance on telling this guy the truth about me?

Yeah. I think I could.

"The streets," I finally answered.

"Excuse me?"

Lifting my eyes to his, I hardened my stare, shoving back all the memories that rushed me. Memories that were usually dulled by the drugs in me were suddenly much clearer. Some were fucking painful.

"Before I was with Jasper, I lived on the streets."

"In a homeless shelter?"

I snorted. "No. The streets. Literally. Homeless shelters are bullshit. They can fit a few dozen people in them. Doesn't even make a dent in how many are out there."

He wrote some things down, then looked back up at me. "How did you end up there?"

"My parents kicked me out."

"What motivated them to do that?"

"I think it was the fact that I liked dick."

"Dick? Was he a friend of yours?"

Laughing, I should my head. Straight guys cracked me up. "Dick as in cock. I liked to suck them and have them shoved up my ass."

"Oh," Dr. Dolan replied, blushing. "I see."

"My parents didn't think I was natural. I was a sin and would bring the wrath of God down on their church and jeopardize their standing in the Christian community."

"And kicking their son out didn't?"

"I don't know. Maybe. I'm sure they had a wonderful story about how I got accepted to some private prep school across the country, then graduated and went on to the best college."

"You haven't seen them since?"

"Nope. Don't want to either."

"How did being kicked out make you feel?"

What kind of fucked up question was that? "Really fucking good," I snapped.

"It seems we've opened up a new area."

"Not really, Doc. I wasn't sexually abused. I had a good childhood, pretty much had anything I ever needed or wanted. The only suffering I had was my piano practice. I got good grades in school, had friends, was popular. Mowed the neighbor's lawn for summer money and all that typical shit. It was a picture perfect childhood."

"Until you were asked to leave?"

"Asked to leave?" I scoffed. "My parents gave me a hundred dollars, let me pack a duffel bag and then kicked my ass out the door. There was no asking. I was told."

His brows furrowed. "How old were you?"

"Fifteen."

"Riley," he sighed. "That's constitutes abandonment. Charges could have been brought up against them. Why didn't you go to the police?"

"Because I was fifteen. Besides, I didn't want to live with them if they didn't want to live with me."

"But you could have entered the foster care system, been fed and kept safe."

"Yeah, because that worked out so well for Jasper," I mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing. The point is, I wasn't wanted, I left. I made a life on the streets, and here I am in all my glory."

"Is the streets where you turned to drugs?"

"Duh." Wasn't it obvious?

"What kinds of drugs did you do?"

"Didn't we go over this when I was checked in? Do I really need to repeat myself?"

"Humor me. Coke?"

"Yes."

"Heroin?"

"Yes."

"Pot?"

"Sometimes."

"Why don't you just tell me?"

"Crack, LDS, E, PCP, just about any prescription drug…."

He was writing furiously. I almost laughed. Suddenly he stopped and looked up. "You didn't mention Methamphetamine."

"Ice?" I shook my head. "Nah, man, that stuff fucks with your looks. I've seen some nasty bitches on Meth. Fucking scary as hell."

He seemed a bit surprised and his eyes went to my arms, remembering them from my intake physical. Proudly, I held them out. "Pretty right? I'm not stupid, Doc. My body was my money maker. I wasn't going to fuck it up with drugs."

"Your money maker? Did you strip?"

"Only for about a month or two. Then I realized the real money was in hooking."

"You were hooker?" he asked, shocked. What kind of upscale place had Peter put me in that they didn't ever have any hookers in it? Then again, how many hookers got off the streets and checked themselves into rehab? And had handsome rich guys paying for it?

"Doc, you look a little pale? You okay?"

"Did you steal for drugs?"

"Are you kidding? I stole for everything."

"Were you ever afraid of dying?" He glanced up at me, his pen poised to write my earth shattering answer.

I was afraid of leaving Jasper.

"No."

"Really? You were never afraid of the drugs killing you?"

I shrugged. "We all die anyway. Not like I would be any worse off if I was dead. There were enough nights I wished I was dead, but the damn sun always rose the next day."

Writing something down, he furrowed his brows. "What triggered your drug use?"

"You name it. Besides, it was easier than not being high."

"What do you mean?"

"Being high just made it all easier," I repeated, not entirely willing to go into details. He eyed me for a few seconds before nodding and accepting my answer.

"Do you have any pent up anger toward anyone? Your parents perhaps?"

Did I? I didn't fucking know. I hadn't thought about them in years. They might have kicked me out, but they certainly didn't put the drugs in my hand. Besides, I was smoking pot before I even left home.

"No."

He glanced at his watch. "Well our hour is up. We'll have to continue this day after tomorrow."

"Sure."

"Later today in group we're going to start the twelve steps. It should be a good session."

"I bet," I replied sarcastically. Standing, I went to the door. "See ya at two."

"Before you go," he turned in his chair to me. "You mentioned piano practice. Do you play?" I shrugged. "We have something we call art therapy. We offer our patients art as a way to express themselves, pent up anger, frustration, urges. I think playing might be good for you."

He couldn't have been more wrong.

"I don't think so, but thanks anyway." I reached for the door knob.

"I think you should consider it."

With that, I opened the door and left.

Bored, and not really in the mood to hang out in my room, I decided to explore the place. I hadn't been to much except my room, the dining room, and the meeting rooms. Ignoring the community room and the piano looming in the corner, I headed down the carpeted hallway past the dining room to the kitchen. It was huge with dark counters like Jasper's, two refrigerators and three stoves. There were a few workers in there cutting up some food. I bet they didn't cook as good as Beautiful did. One guy looked up and smiled at me.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks, but there was a waiter last night. Dark hair, about this tall," I said, holding my hand up.

"Oh, Josh? He's off now, but he'll be in at five."

"Cool. Can you tell him Riley in room seven is looking for him?"

"Sure."

Smirking, I left, noting across the hall was a small closet. Definitely big enough to fuck in. Sex was strictly prohibited for patients, which I didn't understand. They wanted us to detox from drugs, not sex. I would think having sex might make the detoxing a little easier. Maybe at the next group meeting, I should suggest it.

If my fellow addicts were cuter, I'd suggest an orgy. Something told me that might not go over well. Yeah, I was definitely going to suggest it. If there were buttons to push, I pushed them. There was nothing else for entertainment in that fucking place.

At the end of the hall was the gym. about the same size as the community room, it was full of equipment. Some looked more like bondage shit than workout stuff. Curious, I walked over to one and checked it out. There were bars and weights and pulleys. Looking around to make sure I was alone, I studied the picture and followed the directions.

"Holy shit!" I grunted when I tried to pull with my one good hand but nothing moved. "Did the fucking Hulk workout on this thing?" Jasper worked out but he never mentioned it was this hard. Examining the weights, I figured out how to make it lighter and tried again. "Ah, there we go."

I did the motion ten times and moved onto the next one, read the directions and did that one too. Ten reps later, I moved to another one. After I had done all the bondage machines I could do with one hand, I stood up and curled my arm up, flexing the muscles.

I was already getting bigger. Maybe I should take it easy though. I was already irresistible, I would be fighting them off with a stick if I got too hot. There was a fine line I needed to walk.

Inspired by my quick progress, I stepped onto the treadmill and turned it on, surprised when it started moving so quickly. I began to jog. Running was actually something I could do. You had to have endurance to fuck all night long. Endurance, like manageable hair, was important for hookers. No one wanted a hooker that couldn't last. Course, the tricks usually only lasted two minutes anyway, but it was good training for running from the police too. I wasn't quite sure what the numbers on the screen meant, but when it said one-point-two, I stopped and got off.

I felt in shape already. Not sure why everyone complained. This exercise stuff was pretty easy.

Leaving the gym, I decided to head back to my room to shower. Maybe strip down and take a few minutes to admire my new body in the mirror.

God knows everyone else did.

"**~~**"

"So today," Dr. Dolan began, "I'd like to introduce the twelve steps to you all. Some of you might be familiar with them. For others they will be new. Some will argue that they need to be done in order, others don't think that is important. However, to keep things simple, we will start them in order and once you have the tools, you can move around as you like."

We all stared at him. Blankly.

"Does anyone know step one?"

Mort spoke up. "Admit you are powerless over alcohol-that your life has become unmanageable."

"That is AA's yes. Ours is adjusted slightly to fit addiction as a whole. Admit you are powerless over your _addiction_, that your lives have become unmanageable. Any questions?"

I think I heard crickets.

"Does anyone feel they can admit this right here and now?"

Heather popped a bubble with her gum. "Haven't we kinda already admitted it if we're here?"

"Not if you were brought here against your will."

I wondered if I was there against my will.

I was there for Jasper but that wasn't against my will. Somehow the conversation turned to admitting when we hit bottom. Heather claimed she hadn't hit bottom. Mort said it was drunk driving with his kids. Carlton said it was when access to his bank account was shut off. But he was full of shit. It was more like when he had a one night stand and barebacked it because he was so high. He didn't have to tell the story, I just knew. Katelyn said it was when she passed out and missed her son's first baseball game.

Maybe now was a good time to suggest the orgy.

Dr. Dolan turned to me. "Riley, when did you hit bottom."

I was such a slut that I thought he had asked if I had hit _a_ bottom. To which I would have nodded eagerly. Most recently Spencer. Spanked his ass raw all over his hotel room and he just begged for more. I had definitely hit a bottom. But before I spoke up with details, I realized he was asking when I had hit bottom, not hit a bottom.

My bottom was when I was so out of it, so desperate to escape, that I had struck Edward. I had been what made me realize Jasper was right and I needed help. Dealing with hitting Edward had been hard enough, but I could never forgive myself if ever hit Jasper. Not after all he'd done for me.

"I stole some prescription drugs from my boyfriend's dresser."

"I can see why that would upsetting," the doctor nodded. "Did he find out?"

"Yeah. He wasn't happy, but I'd already taken them so there wasn't much he could do."

The morning after the bj from Edward, I had woken up before they did. They were facing each other, limbs completely entwined. There wasn't a part of them that wasn't touching. Even their morning erections were touching. But what got me the most was the way Edward's fingers were wrapped in Jasper's hair and Jasper's were resting on Edward's chest near his heart. It was like they couldn't survive without the other. While they slept, I got out of bed and stole a few pills from the bottle in Jasper's dresser. I knew he'd find out, but I'd be so high, I wouldn't care.

"Did you steal any more after that?"

"No."

"Good for you. Okay, I think we've made some good progress. See you all tomorrow."

Freed, I stood up and headed for my room. Just as I was about to walk in, a hand was on my shoulder. Carlton was behind me.

"You're gay?" he whispered.

"Yep." He looked shocked, though I wasn't sure why. Did he not have gaydar? Wasn't that a requirement or something? Not caring who was around, I stepped toward him and put my fingers under his chin. "Why? Want to sample the goods?" Who didn't? "I could make you feel real good."

"Umm…I gotta go," he said, turning and walking quickly away.

He'd be back. After all, I was irresistible.

Jasper visited the next day. Pacing in the community room, I waited until I saw his blond waves walk through the door. I ran to his open arms, jumping into them knowing he'd catch me. Burying my face in his neck, I wrapped my legs around him and held tight. I even heard him chuckle in my ear.

A few minutes later we were sitting outside. Jasper sat in the chair with me on his lap, his fingers tangled with mine.

"You're shaking," he frowned.

"They lowered the dosage on my meds so I've been shaky, a little nauseous, but nothing too bad."

He kissed my temple. "You're so strong."

"Bullshit, but thanks. We started the steps yesterday."

"Steps?"

"Yeah. These things you do to stop yourself from using again."

"Like what?"

"The first one is to admit we are powerless over our addiction, and that our lives have become unmanageable."

He tried not to smile. "Sounds interesting."

"Very." I rolled my eyes. "Is Peter coming back to see me? Thought he might want to check on me and see how his investment is doing."

"I'm sure he will."

"Hope so. Have him wear that red sweater he wore last time. That was hot. Have you talked to Edward?" His head dropped to my shoulder, hiding his face. "Angel, you need to talk to him. I know he misses you as much as you do him."

"I told you why I can't," he mumbled into my arm. "I haven't gotten anything since his last text message."

"Can I see?" He pulled out his phone and handed it to me. I went through his messages, mostly from the Service about clients. "Sixty-three?"

"It was the number of hours until the flight I was supposed to be on…" he sighed.

"There's no more after that one."

"He gave up," Jasper confessed quietly. "I'm sure when I didn't show up…"

"Wait, you never told him you weren't coming?" He averted his eyes and I growled. "You never told him."

"I couldn't. If I talked to him, I knew—I knew I'd end up on the next flight and I'm not leaving you."

Breaching the space between us, I kissed him. "Thank you. Hey, you haven't said anything about my muscles." He lifted his head and I raised my arm, flexing for him. "Go on, touch."

Unable to resist, he reached up with his hand and squeezed my bicep.

"Impressive, right?"

"Definitely," he gave me a small smile. We continued to talk, he even laughed once but it was an empty laugh. The emotions and life that had filled him while Edward was in his life was gone, leaving Jasper with just a shell of who he really was.

At five thirty, I was sitting o my bed debating on if I should change for dinner or not when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, knowing damn well who it was. Josh pushed the door open all the way. He looked scrumptious in his all white uniform and his short hair gelled back.

"Are you Riley?"

As if he didn't know. "Yeah."

"You wanted to see me?"

I motioned for him to step inside, but per the rules of the rehab, he had to leave the door open a few inches. Had he been a girl it would have to be open all the way. Hesitantly, he came into my room and looked around nervously.

"Is something wrong?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Nope. I just wondered when you wanted to fuck?"

His already big eyes grew even wider and his mouth fell open. "What?" he gasped, pretending to be shocked. I didn't get it. Why did guys act surprised when you knew they were gay?

"You winked at me at dinner the other night. Do you want to fuck?"

"I…I don't know what you thought you saw, but I didn't wink at you."

"Yeah, right. So do you want to?"

Biting his lip, his eyes raked me up and down. I was sure he was admiring my new body from my working out. As if I wasn't hot enough before. When he reached my feet, his eyes went back up again.

"Top?" he whispered.

"I'm whatever you need me to be, doll."

"I get off at ten."

"Then I will get you off by ten-thirty. Meet me in the room across from the kitchen. Oh, and bring a condom and lube." Nodding, he eyed me one last time and left.

It was too easy.

"**~~**"

"I've only got half an hour before check-in," I groaned as Josh's lips embraced my cock. My pants and underwear were around me knees and my shirt was pulled up and tucked behind my head. Leaning against the supply shelves behind me, I buried my fingers in his thick hair and held his head still as I began to fuck his mouth. Still dressed in his kitchen whites, he smelled a bit like baked bread. "Fuck yeah, suck me hard."

He was no Jasper but he was good. He ran his the flat of his tongue along the bottom of my dick as I thrust into his mouth. Smiling down at him, I watched his wet lips work me and already felt my orgasm building. It'd been far to fucking long since I'd had a mouth on me.

"That's it, take it all," I demanded. He left one hand on my hip and the other went to my balls. As soon as he palmed them and swallowed me into his throat, I came. He felt my cock pulse and immediately released me, using his hand to stroke me as I shot my load over his chin and neck. He wore a wicked grin as he stood and I couldn't help but return it. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out lube and a condom and put them on the shelf behind me. Quickly, he undid his belt and pants, letting them fall to his ankles before pulling his briefs down. His cock was nice. Thin and long and uncut. Then he unbuttoned his work shirt and let it fall open. Grabbing the lube, I squirted some on my fingers and reached between my legs to ready myself. But the time he had the condom on and I had poured some lube on his dick, I was ready to go. I tossed the lube on the floor. Spinning, I pushed my ass toward him and gripped the shelves. When I felt the head of his cock pressing against my entrance, I took a deep breath. He was surprisingly gentle as he slowly thrust forward until I felt his hips against my ass.

"So fucking good," he moaned, placing a kiss on my neck. "Can I move?"

"Yeah," I nodded and felt him slide out, only to rock back in even deeper. "Fuck."

Within a few strokes, he had a steady rhythm going, pumping his dick into me in strong thrusts. He kept one hand on my shoulder and his other on my hip, and I could feel his breaths on my back as he looked down and watched himself going in and out of me. The room was completely dark except for a sliver of light coming from under the door but once our eyes had adjusted we could see fine. Not that it mattered, we could certainly feel our way around. He left some more kisses on my shoulders as he sped up. Arching my back, I offered him my ass and he struck deeper, hitting just the right spot.

"Feel good?"

"Fuck yeah," I panted.

He began to grunt with effort and I knew he was close. "Gonna come so fucking hard in you."

"Fuck me hard, doll."

And he did. A few uneven, staggered thrust later and he was biting down on my shoulder to muffle his cries as he filled the condom inside me. He bucked his hips into me a few times as his cock emptied.

"Fuck, that was hot," he sighed as he released my shoulder and gripped the base of his cock to gently slip out. "Thanks."

I bent over and pulled my pants up as he did the same. Turning, I tugged my shirt back over my head and put a hand behind his neck. Pulling him to me, I brushed my lips over his once.

"Welcome." With a blush, he did up the buttons to his shirt. "Same time tomorrow?"

"I'm off tomorrow, but back on Friday."

"Friday it is then," I smiled. "You go first, I'll follow in a few minutes."

He opened the door and left, I waited a minute, then made sure the hall was clear before I walked back to my room. Undressing, I washed my ass off and got into bed. I checked the clock.

I had a minute to spare.

Fuck, I was good.

"**~~**"

"How are you doing today, Riley?" Doc sat in his chair while I sat in mine.

It had been four weeks, five days and six hours since I had been admitted. Four weeks of group therapy five times a week, individual therapy twice a week, and family therapy, which consisted of Jasper coming once every other week. Jasper didn't like it, I could tell he was nervous, but he answered the most of the questions, lying only when he had to. Doc even let me sit on Jasper's lap while he was there. Not that he had much choice. Jasper still came to visit me every three days, and Peter had been by a few times. After using the gym that first time, I had gone there almost every day. Working out had been much easier since I'd had the cast removed. My arms were getting muscular. As if I wasn't hot enough already.

The piano sat untouched by my hands.

And I still had twelve weeks of this shit left.

The one bright spot, besides Jasper's visits, was my weekly fuck with Josh in the supply room. We'd almost been caught once, but we stilled as someone walked by, then Josh continued to fuck me. I'd even let him kiss me with tongue once.

The other patients had grown on me. Bob the Biker never returned and Mort avoided me like I was contagious, but Heather and I actually had the same tastes in TV. She liked "The Real Housewives of New York" too. Katelyn was hot for me. And when her husband came to visit her and I saw him, I couldn't blame her for drooling over me. Carlton began following me around like a puppy. Every time he looked at me, he had stars in his eyes. The guy idolized me. I told him he should just fuck the money and come out to his parents. He said he wasn't gay. I told him he sure did stare at my cock a lot for a straight guy.

Sighing, I shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"What did you think about group yesterday?"

We were on step three, make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

I had issues with all the steps that mentioned God, which apparently was about half of them.

"Have you thought anymore about step two?" he asked curiously.

_Co__me to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity._

I had skipped step two and told him that. "No."

"How come?"

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. "Listen, anything that involves a higher power is bullshit, okay? Your other patients might believe in that shit, but I don't."

"Because of your parents?"

"No. I spent a lot of time on the streets, I saw a lot of shit. And when I first got out there, I did pray. I prayed to be saved from the guys raping me. I prayed for food and warm place to sleep. Know what I got for all my praying? I got shit, that's what. I had no food, no home and I was raped. The God that I had been raised to believe was powerful and generous and gave to those in need totally stood me up. So fuck God. I only put my faith in one other person, and he's not God."

Angel maybe, but not God.

He never wrote anything down, he just listened to me rant. "Would that be Jasper?"

"Yeah."

"You're going to have a difficult time with the steps with your lack of spirituality," he warned.

"Oh well." I narrowed my eyes. "You can't tell me I'm the first person to come through here that doesn't believe in God?"

"No, there have been others."

"I'll do the steps not involving God." He could tell I wasn't going to budge on the topic and rightly decided to let it go.

"The last time we met, we talked about forgiveness. Have you thought about anyone you'd like to forgive?"

"I don't have anyone to forgive."

"Not even your parents?"

"For tossing me out on my ass?" I shrugged. "They did what they thought was best. I don't care about it anymore. It's done."

"Anyone else?"

I sighed. "The list is too long. Let's just say I forgive everyone, okay?"

"Too long?"

"Do you really want me to list all the johns or pimps that took advantage of me? Hell, I was probably high for most of them anyway."

"Do you think you're making progress here?"

Did I feel better? Maybe. Did I still crave drugs? Fuck yes. I could still feel the remains from my last high in my blood. Sometimes I would lay on my bed and concentrate hard enough to feel a slight high. I was still taking the meds for the physical withdrawals and they helped. I didn't shake much anymore and barely felt sick.

But I still wanted drugs.

A lot.

But I also knew that I was stronger. Not just my new body but mentally. I knew when I craved the drugs I needed to find a distraction. I listened to the iPod a lot and Peter was right, the music helped. I would end up singing with the lyrics or dancing around my room. The next time he came to visit, I told him how much I liked the music and asked him to put on a couple songs. He laughed when I listed them.

"You got a problem with Donna Summer?"

"Not at all," he said, his body still shaking from his laughter. "I just never pictured you as a disco queen."

"We're called club boys now, old man," I smirked.

"Do you go clubbing?"

"Yeah, sometimes Jasper and I would sneak into the club on fifth."

"Jasper dances?"

"Mmm…yeah, he does." I think I got a dreamy look in my eyes when I remembered dancing shirtless with Jasper. All hot and sweaty. We'd be dancing so close, grinding and kissing, that everyone would stop and watch our show, but we were in our own world, lost in each other and the music. Even whores needed to let loose sometimes. "When I get out, we should all clubbing," I suggested, wiggling my eyebrows.

"Deal," he smiled. When I was walking him out through the lobby, Mort was sitting at the piano totally fucking up Mozart. Peter caught me as I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. It was tragic. "What?"

Hooking my hand through his arm, I put my head on his shoulder. "Mozart is way too easy to fuck up that bad."

"And how would you know that?"

Fuck. Fuck me and my big mouth.

"You play, don't you?" he asked quietly.

"Not for a long time," I sighed. "And no, I don't want to talk about it."

Accepting my words, he patted my hand. "I'll put the music on and send it back with Jasper on his next visit." Then he kissed my cheek before leaving.

Doc cleared his throat and brought my attention back to him.

"Yeah, I think I'm better," I finally answered.

He nodded and smiled. "I think so too."

After another twenty minutes, he said, "Why don't we call it a day and I'll see you tomorrow at group."

"Okay, see ya," I stood and headed for the door.

"Think about what we talked about," he reminded me as I left.

Back in my room, I put Peter's iPod on and lay on my bed. Scrolling through my playlist, I found a song that he had added that I hadn't asked for. It was slow and gentle. It was about angels.

_that salvation lets their wings unfold  
so when I'm lying in my bed  
thoughts running through my head  
and I feel that love is dead  
I'm loving angels instead_

I didn't know if Peter knew Jasper was my angel, but I swear the song had been written for Jasper and me. He was my salvation. He offered me protection and affection whether I was right or wrong. Closing my eyes, I let the words surround me, playing loudly in my ears as I thought back to the first time I had called Jasper angel. In fact, he wore the reminder of that night every day.

We had known each other for a few months but hadn't fucked yet. Some guy was kicking the shit out of me after I had bit his dick. He was getting too rough and when I told him to stop, he didn't. Instead, he threw me to the ground and started kicking me. I heard voices and a grunt, then feet running. I didn't see what had happened but the guy had stopped kicking me and there were concerned hands on me. When I opened my eyes, I saw blond hair being lit up by the streetlamps behind him.

He looked angelic. His halo might have been a bit rusty, but it was definitely there.

He looked just like the pictures of angels I'd seen at my house as a kid.

"You okay, Rile?"

"Fucking asshole," I yelled after the guy. "Didn't even fucking pay me for the blowjob. Did you beat him up, Jas?" He shook his head and pulled away, showing me his shirt. It was soaked with blood. His blood. "Holy shit. You need help, Jas, that looks bad."

"No, no hospitals."

"Wait here, I'll be back in a few minutes," I told him as I used the wall to stand up. I ran as fast as I could to the corner where I'd last seen Ricky. I had him follow me back to Jasper and he leaned in front of my unconscious new friend.

"We need to get back to the docks. Think you can help carry him?"

"Yeah, sure."

It hurt like a motherfucker, but I helped carry Jasper to the abandoned building we slept in. I went to the drug store and jacked some supplies for Ricky. I held his hand and assisted Ricky as he stitched up the gash in Jasper's hip. I was relieved when Jasper woke up a few hours later.

"Try to stay still. The stitches need some time to set."

"Stitches?"

I introduced him to Ricky and explained how Ricky was our street doctor. After Ricky left, I moved closer to Jasper and explained Ricky's sorted past.

"I can't believe you let a fucked up med school dropout stitch me up," he bitched.

"Would you rather I had done it? Or let you bleed to death? Trust me, his fucked up med school skills are way better than half the ERs around here. Just rest, man. I'll watch out for ya," I promised him, and I did. He slept and I didn't. I watched over him for a few hours, not even taking any drugs. Finally I fell asleep next to him, coiled up behind him, pressed close for warmth. He slept off and on for the next day and I worried something was wrong. I had Ricky look him over but he said Jasper didn't have an infection, he was just really fucking tired.

I never left his side.

He woke up in the middle of the night to find me next to him, my arm around his middle. Rolling over he faced me. The second he looked into my eyes I felt it. The thing that had sparked between us since the first time we'd met ignited into something more intense that I'd ever felt before.

He kissed me. I kissed him back. He took off my shirt and I took off his. He undid my pants and I undid his. After yanking his down around his thighs and mine off completely, I grabbed a condom from my pocket and put it on him before using my spit for lube and straddling his hips and impaling myself on his cock. His cut was covered by some gauze but he winced in pain when he tried to thrust up. I stopped him and rode his cock instead. The empty room filled with our grunts and moans. I was surprised how urgent but gentle he was. There was something different in being with him like that, out of pure need and want and not because either one of us was getting paid. Feeling him inside me enhanced the mysterious bond that I already had with him. In a cold, abandoned building on a dirty mattress, we fucked.

Little did I know it was the first time he'd had sex where he wasn't raped or paid.

"Does it feel good, angel?" I asked him, stroking his cheek with my fingers. A look crossed his face, one of confusion and pain. Biting his lip and looking up at me with the fucking most amazing eyes, he nodded.

He came a few minutes later, and stroking myself, I followed, shooting my load over his bare chest. After I used my shirt to clean us up, I fell by his side, a goofy smile on my face. It had felt amazing to get fucked and enjoy it for once. Staying on his back, he turned his head and gazed at me.

"Why did you call me angel?" he asked softly.

"Because you saved me last night. You're my angel."

It seems that was all Jasper did was save me. From dirty tricks, James…and now he was saving me from myself by putting me in rehab.

I may not have believed in God, but I believed in angels.

At least one of them.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

I know that wasn't who you were expecting, but a little break from the angst was needed. I have to admit, writing his pov is some of the most fun I've had writing M&A. Much thanks to anneso67 for help with the French. We're finding all kinds of interesting things out about Riley, aren't we? Two more, then the epilogue.

M&A won a few categories at in The Slash Awards: Best Villian (James), Best Supporting Character (Peter), Best Ensemble, Best Angst, Best BJ, Hottest Lemon & Creative Fuck, Best breakup/makeup and Banner. Thank you to everyone that nominated their favorites stories and voted. Go here to see a complete list of winners. http:/theslashawards DOT blogspot DOT com/


	37. The Fork in the Yellow Brick Road

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- I don't know what to say about this chapter other than it's the hardest (even more than Epov) one I've ever had to write and there is a tissue warning. Oh, and if you were upset with Jasper in the last chapter, you might be really upset during this one, but those that were upset with Riley might forgive…

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, and alerted this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

Opening the door, I tossed my keys on the table before slipping my jacket down my shoulders and hanging it on the coat rack next to me. Following the delicious scent, the heels of my cowboy boots clicked on the marble floor as I walked past his office and down the long hallway toward the kitchen. When I neared the living room, my eyes were automatically drawn to the dark piano sitting ominously in the corner. It was a painful reminder of everything that had been wonderful and perfect and new, but I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. Even if they all sliced through my already broken heart, every memory that haunted me whenever I saw it was welcomed.

Without looking, I could name every picture that hung on the walls. I knew every person, every location. I knew the couch was slightly more sunken on the right side than the left, and the guest bathroom's door squeaked.

Everything in house was so familiar, I knew almost everything about it, but it wasn't home.

There was music coming from the kitchen, but I didn't recognize the song. Learning against the doorway, I tilted my head and almost smiled as I watched him unnoticed while he stirred something on the stove with a wooden spoon. Dressed in dark jeans and a white polo shirt, he swayed his hips back and forth in time with the music. His longer hair skimmed the collar of his shirt as he bobbed his head with the beat. Then he began singing.

_I know you wanna leave me,  
But I refuse to let you go  
If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy,  
I don't mind__ coz' you mean that much to me  
Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin'_

"How was Riley?" he asked, glancing at me over his shoulder but not stopping his dancing. I should have known he knew I was there. Wordlessly, I crossed the kitchen and made my way around the granite island in the middle until I was right behind him. Putting my hands on his hips, I placed my forehead on his shoulder. His movements slowed, but never ceased, as I began to sway with him.

"He's good. He was ranting about the steps again," I answered into his back.

"Yeah, I remember Nick doing those. I didn't have much contact with him when he was in rehab, barely any actually, but when he reached step eight, he called me out of the blue one night and asked for my forgiveness for everything he'd done to me and us. It was a hard conversation."

"How come?"

"Because I'd already forgiven him. It was the drugs that had made him do that shit, not him. I knew he'd loved me. If it hadn't been for the drugs, then…well, who knows what would have happened with us."

"Did you tell him that?"

"No. I just told him I forgave him and he was able to accept it and move on. Is Riley at that step yet?"

"Not yet. Not sure he will make it past number three. Given his upbringing and his past, he has issues with the mention of God in them."

Peter chuckled. "He'll get there, babe. Hang in there. He's doing well."

Sighing, I lifted my head and put my chin on his shoulder. Riley was doing well because of Peter. While Riley had made the decision to enter rehab, I had been at a loss as to how to get him into one. It had taken a few days after Edward had left before I was able to function well enough to call Peter and ask him for the help I desperately needed.

I didn't call him to have him pay for it, I had called because I didn't know the good rehabs from the bad ones, and knowing Nick had attended one in Seattle, I thought Peter might have a suggestion. He gave me the name of the one Nick had used and I checked it out online. It was beautiful, much nicer than the others I'd looked at.

Then I saw the price.

Closing the browser, I went to bed with Riley wrapped around me and cried myself to sleep. There was no way I could afford it, not after all the money I'd already spent paying James. There was several thousand dollars sitting on my wrist in the form of crystal, silver, and emerald, but I couldn't even bring myself to take it off, much less sell it. Like my promise to Riley, I'd made one to Edward. I'd vowed to never take it off and I intended to keep that promise. Prepared to do whatever it took, I had no choice but to start hooking on the streets again. It was the quickest way to get money. Even with the extra clients I'd requested from Tanya, it was going to be a little over two months before I had enough money for rehab.

For two months I was going to have to hold Riley captive in my apartment. I'd already asked Peter to watch him while I worked, but I couldn't ask him to do it for the next eight weeks. The guy had his own life. Needing advice, I called Peter the next day, hoping maybe there was a part-time program I could Riley into until I could afford the real thing.

When Peter answered and heard the defeat in my voice, he told me he'd be right over. An hour later he was sitting on my couch with my laptop opened going over figures and prices. Finally, he closed it and leaned back against the couch. Riley was sitting next to me, his head on my shoulder as he watched Peter. Their eyes met and held as something happened between them. I don't know if Peter was sizing up Riley's commitment to getting clean or if Riley was preparing to devour Peter, but the air in the room shifted as they remained fixated on each other. An energy crackled as neither wavered from the weight of the other.

Sighing, Peter ran his hand through his hair and relunctantly dragged his eyes from Riley to me. "I'll pay for it."

"What? No, no, you can't—" I began to argue.

He held up his hand. "It's not up for debate. I'll pay for it, and if you feel it necessary, you can pay me back in payments. It'll be a loan."

"Like a car?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, something like that. Only no interest or scheduled payments. Just pay when you have it," Peter suggested.

Gnawing on his lip, Riley lifted his head and looked at me hopefully. "Can we do that, angel?"

Reaching up, I cupped his cheek. "Yeah, we can do that."

Relieved, he leaned forward and kissed me, then jumped off the couch and went to Peter, plopping on his lap, he turned Peter's face to him and kissed him too. It was brief, soft, but there was no mistaking the tongue that nudged between Peter's surprised lips.

Four days later I was standing in the lobby of the rehab facility with Riley clinging to me, begging me to take him home. My already broken heart was further crushed as I kissed him and pulled away, gradually breaking our contact until only the tips of our fingers were touching. His eyes were wet with fear as I stepped backwards and my hand dropped to my side. Pleading with me silently, he watched me leave him there.

Alone.

Other than watching Edward walk out of my life, it had been the hardest thing I'd ever done.

The song changed and Peter began to hum, coaxing me from my memory. "What are you cooking?" I asked, looking down into a pan of creamy sauce.

"Chicken alfredo with fettuccini and broccoli," he answered and motioned to the corner of the kitchen. "Want to pour some wine? I don't know about you, but I could use a glass."

Nodding, I released him and walked over the wine refrigerator under the counter. Opening it up, I glanced at the bottles. "The '89 Chateau Margaux or the Romanee Conti?" I asked over my shoulder. I was still new to drinking wine, and had only tried a few of them so far.

"Whichever you prefer," he smiled as he reached for the strainer hanging on the rigging above the island. Picking out the Chateau Margaux, my favorite so far, I turned and opened the top cabinet to my left and pulled out two wine glasses. Knowing my way around his kitchen came easily after so many dinners there. I poured the wine while he drained the pasta and put it on two plates.

"I hope you're hungry," he chuckled as the plates overflowed.

I wasn't really. In fact, I was rarely hungry anymore, but I ate because he made me. His meals always looked so good, but I never tasted any of them. Over the past two months, I'd grown numb to just about everything, including the taste of food. There had been a few occasions when he'd cooked something that sparked my interest or the sweet wine was more powerful than I expected, but I mostly had no interest in food.

"Is the table set?" I asked and he nodded.

"I got home early, so I did some work in the office and then started dinner." He finished pouring on the sauce and then headed into the dining room. Following him, I set his glass at the end of the table before sitting in the chair on the corner next to him. He went back into the kitchen and returned with a basket of baked rolls, still warm from the oven.

"Did you bake these too?" I asked, picking up and biting into the soft dough.

"Hell no. I got them from that bakery on Rainer, the one we went to last week. I just had to heat them up," he admitted.

It was what I loved about Peter. He was never afraid to admit who he was, whether it was to say he was too lazy to bake bread or he was gay, Peter never once hid himself to the world or me.

"So tell me about Riley? Is he getting along better with Matt?"

"No, he bitched about him today, but he said he had long talk with Carlton and I guess he's thinking about coming out."

"A talk talk or a Riley talk?" Peter raised an eyebrow. He knew Riley enough by now to know how Riley worked. He used sex as his language, as his form of communication. Riley and I both did.

"He hasn't fucked him…yet." I clarified. Riley's idea of convincing Carlton was probably to fuck to hard and make him love it so much that he'd come out just to be able to do it again.

"Key word-yet. I hoping to stop in and see him tomorrow." Peter smiled as he twirled his fork in the pasta and took a bite. Moaning as he chewed, he nodded to me. "Have some."

Having eaten with him enough to know he wouldn't let me not eat, I imitated him and twirled some pasta around my fork before stabbing a piece of chicken. It tasted hot and creamy, but I didn't get much more than that.

"Mm, really good," I complimented. I was sure it was good, I just didn't know it. Satisfied, he smiled and took another bite. We fell into an easy conversation about his work as he updated me on a few projects and issues he had. He had been having a problem with a client and was unsure how to handle them and said it helped to talk through it with me. Intently, I listened to every word he said.

"So what do you think," he asked as he pushed his plate away.

Having finished my meal long ago, I did the same thing and folded my arms on the table. "You said the scandal is from cheating on his wife, right?" When Peter nodded, I continued, "Then I think you should draw the focus away from the cheating and back to fact that he and his wife are still together and willing to work through it and stay married."

"And if he continues to cheat?"

"Tell him to fuck off, you don't need his business." Peter laughed softly. It was a pleasing sound, almost the nicest thing I'd heard in weeks. "You're good at your job, Peter, but you're not a miracle worker."

"That's true," he sighed. "I just hate to fail."

"It's not failing if the client insists on acting out. How much spin can one company put out there?" I used the words I'd picked up over the many work conversations we'd had.

Resigned, he bowed his head and sighed. "I know you're right, but it's hard to give up on someone. Know what I mean?"

Yes, I did.

I knew exactly how hard it was because I had given up on someone.

The first person I'd ever said I love you to was no longer in my life, and giving up on that possible future with him had stripped me raw. I wore a gaping wound every day and it never got easier.

"But you're right. I'll give him a warning and if he keeps it up, I'll break the contract. It's not worth it." Sipping his wine, he tilted his head and eyed me. "Have you thought more about what I suggested?"

Shaking my head, I sighed. "Not enough to make a decision yet."

Reaching out, he covered my hand. "There's no rush, you know that. Are you finished?" He motioned to my half full plate.

Nodding, I stood and helped carry the dishes to the sink. We fell in step as we worked around each other to clean the kitchen. I rinsed the dishes while he loaded them in the dishwasher. He wiped the counters while I took out the trash. We had a well rehearsed routine, a well synchronized dance with a beautiful partner.

He just wasn't the partner I wanted to be dancing with.

Once the kitchen was clean, he poured us more wine and led me into the den off the kitchen. He sat on the leather couch and patted his lap. After setting my wine on the table next to his, I lay down and put my head on his lap in the familiar position. One of his hands went to my hip while the other worked through my tangled mess of waves. Leaning forward, I picked up the remote and turned on the television to the channel he liked to watch at night. While Riley enjoyed his reality shows, Peter liked old westerns. That night it was reruns of Bonanza.

"Aren't you a little young to know about these?" I asked him.

"My dad and I used to watch them together on Sunday mornings. I got hooked."

"You can't fool me," I said as the theme song began and I felt his fingers tapping with the music. "I know about your crush on Little Joe."

"What's not to like? He was fucking hot," he chuckled.

Almost smiling, I put the remote down and relaxed on his lap as we watched the latest problem the Cartwright's had to solve. Lying there with Peter was comfortable, it was a slight salve on the opened gash that had become my life. My body yearned for his warmth and kind touch, my heart accepted it, and my mind pushed away thoughts of guilt that invaded each and every time I was near him. We watched two episodes before Peter stroked my cheek.

"Ready for bed?" he whispered, rousing me from my sleepy state.

I sat up and finished the wine before standing and helping him off the couch. We headed upstairs together, his hand in mine as we walked into his room. I undressed quietly, letting my clothes gather on the floor while Peter put his in a basket in the corner. Naked, he went into the bathroom and I heard the water running. I stood in the doorway and watched him as he bent over the counter and spit out the toothpaste before grabbing a cup and rinsing. His body was sheer perfection, tight muscles rolled under his skin and wrapped around his torso, his slim waist led to a pale ass and long legs dusted with dark hair.

When he stood and caught my reflection staring in the mirror, he turned around and my eyes traveled up his body from his limp cock hanging thick between his legs to his broad shoulders and finally to his eyes that had darkened several shades just in seconds. Finished, he grazed by me and climbed into his bed. I brushed my own teeth and turned off the light before walking to the bed and getting in, pressing my back to his chest. His arm lay heavy on my waist as he rested his fingers on the fine hair under my navel and his breath warmed my shoulder.

"G'night, babe, love you," he whispered into the dark.

"Night," I murmured before clenching my eyes shut. It was the same thing every night. He whispered how much he loved me and I tried to hold myself together at the words. It'd been that way since I'd started sleeping with him nightly, but I'd been broken long before he'd invited me into his bed.

I'd been broken since Edward had left, leaving behind an invitation we both knew I couldn't accept. Had it not been for Riley, I wasn't sure I would have survived the agony that wretched me for days. I slept, I cried, I woke up shaking only to then cry myself back to sleep. Riley's hands never left me, every time I opened my eyes he was near me offering what little he could. He apologized several times, knowing the reason I was staying in Seattle was because of him, because I'd made him a promise. Peter had taught me the importance of keeping promises to those you love. He had promised to watch over me and care for me, and even when I had told him I could never love him like that, he still saved all our lives.

After we checked Riley into rehab, Peter insisted I not be alone. He returned to my apartment with me and made me a dinner that I never ate. He held me on the couch as I cried and finally fell asleep. The next morning when I woke up with puffy eyes, I found him next to me, his arm still around me. Even in his sleep he was watching out for me. I let him sleep as I showered and drank a cup of coffee, leaving enough for him. Waking up, he stretched and thanked me for the coffee. Then we talked.

He told me what to expect from Riley's rehab, he told me about relapses and how to be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. I nodded, barely hearing anything he said until he mentioned a post-op check-up and having Riley's cast removed.

"How much will it cost?" I asked, trying to remember how much money I had in the desk.

"Don't worry about it, it's included in the cost of his care already," he replied, keeping his eyes away from mine.

"How much will that be?"

"What?"

"The hospital bills. How much will I have to pay?"

"Nothing," he answered, but when I raised a brow, he sighed. "I had them bill me."

"You what?"

"Jasper, it's not a big deal. Nothing I can't handle, and I knew you had bigger issues to deal with than a thirty thousand dollar hospital bill."

"Thirty thousand?" I swallowed. Riley was turning out to be a fucking expensive best friend.

"Don't worry about it. It's done, already paid."

"I can pay you back, you can add it to the rehab money," I offered quietly.

"No. The hospital bill was my choice. I didn't ask you about it, I just did it. If you want to pay me back for rehab, fine, but you're not paying for the hospital. I refuse to accept it."

I couldn't help it, I burst into tears again. I felt foolish and weak, but I sought his arms when he opened them to comfort me. He stayed with me that night, sleeping on my couch while I tried to sleep in my bed. It felt so fucking huge without Riley behind me, holding me together as I fell apart. Sometimes I think I needed him more than he needed me. When I habitually reached for the soft fur of Teddy, I remembered I had given him to Riley.

The night before he was leaving, I was lying on my bed holding Teddy when Riley walked in and kneeled beside me. I'd looked at myself in the mirror, I knew I looked as lost as I felt, but seeing him with his shaggy hair messed up from running his hands through it and scared eyes, I knew he was as lost as I was.

"Jasper, will you do something for me before I go?"

"Anything." Didn't he know that already?

Shyly, he looked away, focusing on my lips. "Will you make love to me? I've seen you do it with Edward. Even when you fuck him, it's love. I want that. I don't think I'll ever have it with anyone else and I want to know what it's like."

Riley might have been a whore, he might have never been treated well by anyone, he might not have been in love, but there was no doubt he knew it existed even if he claimed otherwise. He had recognized it in Edward and me. Even when our sex had been primal and raw, Riley had seen the love in every touch and grunt.

How could I refuse to show him that? How could I look into his innocent brown eyes that had seen more horrific things in four years than some do in a lifetime and tell him no? Riley deserved to be loved, he deserved to have his body worshipped, and I was willing to be the one that showed him how much he deserved love.

If I thought about it, I would say that Riley and I had already made love. There had been a few times our sex had turned into something above and beyond what we expected. Sometimes it was a good hard fuck with dirty words, and sometimes it was slow and sensual and we just enjoyed the feeling of being close with someone. But all those times had been before I had told Riley I loved him. Now he wanted to experience making love with those words hanging in the air around us.

I couldn't deny him that. I couldn't deny him anything.

"C'mere," I whispered, tugging him to me.

I had intended to go slow and gentle, taking the time to explore and taste with our hands and lips, but the second our lips met, the chemistry between us flared and our actions became frenzied. Tongues burrowed into mouths, hands yanked at clothing until we were in only our underwear, lips nipped and sucked on sensitive skin. When our cocks pressed together through thin cotton, Riley lifted his head and looked down at me. I saw his longer hair and not Edward's copper, I saw brown eyes instead of emerald. Riley kissed my damp cheeks before moving his lips to my ear.

"Make love to me, angel," he whispered. "Not him. Me."

My breath hitched. I should have known Riley would have sensed my internal struggle. I nodded and he brushed his cheek along mine, bringing his lips back to mine in a rough kiss. I felt the scruff on his the curve of his jaw, the ends of his soft hair brushing along my skin and tasted the unique flavor that only belonged to my whore.

"Riley," I moaned reverently, tilting my head to give him more room to suck on my neck. I watched as he moved down my body, pulling my briefs with him and exposing my erection. Lavishing my cock and balls with his nose and tongue and mouth, he took his time, letting me know just how important this was to him. This wasn't just sex to him anymore. He was one skilled boy, and my body reacted just as it should. I trembled and reached for his hair, fisting it as my hips tried to thrust up into his mouth.

"Need you. So fucking bad."

"You got me, angel," he replied as he slid my briefs down my legs and off my feet. Once naked, he parted my legs further and sank my cock into the wet heat of his mouth. When he released it, he buried his face in my ass, teasing my hole with his tongue before dipping it in.

"Fuck," I moaned, closing my eyes.

I didn't realize I had lifted my legs until I felt his hands on mine while he tongue fucked me. Suddenly, my legs were back on the bed and Riley's mouth was on mine in a lingering, tender kiss. I pushed his briefs down over his ass as moved on me, his body completely covering mine. The need inside me grew to unbearable amounts and I writhed under him. Grinding his hips, he rubbed our slick cocks together as I buried my fingers in his hair. It felt incredible, the passion between us as intense as ever before. After so many times together, our bodies naturally and easily fell in sync with each other.

He knew what I needed before I even asked.

"Will you top me?" I begged as his lips brushed over mine in a heated kiss.

It wouldn't be the first time he topped me, there had been a few times in the past I'd wanted him in me, I wanted him to take care of him.

Moaning, he deepened the kiss and pulled off his underwear with one hand. Just when I didn't think I could take much more, he broke the kiss and reached for the lube. I watched as he poured it on his fingers and pushed one into my eager entrance. My back arched off the bed and I released a loud groan. Encouraged, he pushed deeper, grazing the spot inside me that made my body shudder and cock pulse. He knew my body well and quickly brought me to the edge by repeatedly grazing a finger over my gland. I pushed down on his hand until he added a second finger, twisting them in me. Gripping the blanket under me, I squirmed and thrashed, needing so much more than a few fingers.

"Please, I need you," I begged, opening my eyes to look at him.

Silently he reached for the condom and opened it, but I took it from his hand before he could put it on. I tugged it down his length and then pulled on him until he was lying on me again. We kissed and groped and I rolled us so I was on top.

"Fuck, angel. Need to be in you."

Straddling him, I lifted my hips and grabbed the base of his cock, slowly lowering myself onto him. Once the head of his erection pushed inside me, I stilled and took a few breaths before continuing to slide further down. I knew it killed Riley to wait for me when all he wanted to do was thrust, but with a clenched jaw, he maintained control. Completely sheathing him, I took his good hand in mine and pulled him until he was sitting upright with me in his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him and began circling my hips, grinding my ass on him until he looked like he was going to pass out.

In tight, measured movements, I rode him, rocking my hips gently. Our tongues met in a fury of need while our bodies languidly moved together as if we had all the time in the world. When we were too breathless to kiss, we just stared at each other. I didn't hide anything with Riley, I never had. He'd seen me at my worst and my best, and he accepted it all. No matter who came and went from my life, no one would ever know me or understand me like Riley did.

Precum ran down my cock as Riley reached down and gripped my erection, stroking me in time with the circles of my hips.

"Feels so good," I sighed.

And it did. The pleasure he was giving me filled the emptiness inside me, soothing the ache and lifting the sorrow I carried around. Maybe it was wrong, but it felt right. Riley and I felt right. Different, but right.

Time passed and my body began to shake in my effort to hold off my orgasm, but his touch was too skilled and I felt my balls drawing up tight.

"That's it, angel," he murmured. "Come for me."

Not more than a few pumps later, I came. My body gave way to the bliss of a climax, letting it course through me. Long streams of milky cum landed on us as I clung to him, fisting his hair, my forehead on his.

"Take me," I breathed, my climax still ebbing in me.

Holding my ass with his hands, he moved to his knees, giving him leverage. Locking my legs around his waist, I held him as he began to thrust up into me, striking deeper with each one. With my forehead still on his, I watched his face as he got closer to falling into the euphoria with me. His eyes filled with lust and love right before he clamped them shut and came. As he emptied his seed into the condom, I never stopped moving my hips, enticing his climax to last as long as possible. Our lips met in a gentle, sweet kiss.

"Thank you for showing me what it was like," he whispered in a shaky voice.

"Rile, someday you're going to find someone to make love to you all the time, and they will be the luckiest person in the world."

"I love you," he murmured into the kiss.

"I love you too," I breathed softly.

So, so much I loved him. Enough to give up my future.

We remained like that, his half hard cock in me as we kissed and held until I finally eased off him and cleaned us both up. Lying in bed, we faced each other.

"I'm scared," he confessed.

"I know. Me too. Do you want to bring Teddy?" Teddy was the only thing I could think to offer him that might help.

"Will you be okay without him?"

_No._

But as much as it helped to hold the furry bear, it hurt too. He was a constant reminder of Edward and what we'd had. Regardless, I wasn't facing the life changing event that Riley was, he needed the support more than I did.

"You need him more."

Grabbing Teddy, Riley shoved him between us so he was trapped between our cocks. "I want him to smell like you," he shrugged, but then turned serious. "What if I can't do it?"

"You can."

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're Riley, and Riley can do anything," I tried to smile. "Because you're the strongest person I know. At fifteen you were smart enough to find a way to survive. You've faced a lot of shit out there, and you're still here."

"I survived because of you," he sighed.

"You survived because you're smart. You were out there for two years before I came along. I only kept you company."

"We had fun, didn't we?"

"Yeah, we did."

He was quiet for a minute while my fingers traced every inch of his face. The bruises were long gone, revealing the beautiful boy I knew so well.

"Jasper?" I waited for him to continue. "Are you going to go to Edward?"

There was a hesitancy in his voice, as if he was afraid of the answer. Every part of me wanted to scream YES, but instead, I closed my eyes to hold off the tears. One slipped out as I shook my head. "I'm not leaving you," I vowed.

"Maybe when I get out of rehab, we can go see him together?" he suggested hopefully.

It would never happen. Edward and I were done. I had made my choice and he had accepted it. It hurt like a motherfucker, but it was over.

"Yeah, maybe," I lied.

For the remainder of the night, I held him to me, kissed his lips and whispered how much I loved him. Even when his body trembled in fear and he clung to me, he tried to smile. He was the bravest person I knew, and if anyone could overcome addiction, it would be my whore.

Back in my bed, alone without even my bear to keep me company, I cried myself to sleep once again.

Peter took the next day off and also called the service and reserved me for the next two nights. With the exception of running back to his house for a change of clothes, he stayed at my place, watching me from a distance until I went to him. He let me define how close I wanted to be, if I wanted to be held. When Thursday arrived, Peter finally went back to work and so did I. From the back of the car, I told Aro about Riley when he asked why I looked so tired.

"And Mr. Cullen, how is he?" he asked, glancing at me in the mirror. Immediately, I looked away and shrugged my shoulders. I couldn't even bring myself to say his name.

For two weeks I did the same thing day after day. To anyone on the outside my life might have looked normal, but it wasn't. I was just going through the motions_. _I would sleep all day and then get up, shower, and get ready for my clients. Then I would numbly go downstairs, climb into the car and Aro would drive me to the clients where I would get out, go inside, get fucked, come, and leave. I couldn't even tell one dick from another. I counted on my body to respond appropriately while my mind wandered someplace else. At first, it worked. I was able to imagine Edward above me, behind me, or in me, and the clients were pleased when I did exactly as I should. But I gradually began to fail myself. There were a few times I couldn't get hard, another time when it took me forever to suck a guy off. I hadn't been that bad even when I was living on the streets.

Each night I would go home and crawl into bed, reaching out to the empty spot next to me in a constant hope to find warm flesh.

I never did.

Instead, I would sigh and stare at nothing until eventually I fell into a sleep plagued with nightmares. Although they weren't of Ian or the Home, they were of Edward turning and walking away from me. I would bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath and wiping the sweat from my forehead. The nightmare of Edward leaving me over and over again was so much worse than being raped. Peter called me daily, offering to come over every time, take me out to dinner or swing by to check on me. I always refused, telling him he'd done enough for me. I couldn't ask him to do anything more.

The only bright spots in my life were when I was able to visit Riley, to see him and touch him.

Lying in bed with Peter's strong, warm body behind me, I glanced around the room, seeing traces of me all over it, from clothes on the floor to the extra glass of water and my cell phone sitting on the nightstand. At first I'd stayed in my own room across the hall, but every night I woke up from a nightmare, and being weak, I was unable to resist climbing into his bed, hoping his arms would stave off any future bad dreams. It didn't take long before I gave up even trying to sleep alone and just went to bed with him each night. We slept nude, but we never had sex. It was simply the comfort of another human caring about me.

He shifted behind me, his sleepy sigh warming my back as he pulled me even tighter in his slumber. Reaching down, I covered his hand with mine and thought about how I had ended up in bed, in his home.

About three weeks after Riley had been admitted into rehab, I was at home during the day when there was a knock on my door. Not expecting anyone, I was leery about answering, but I did and found a delivery person with a package from the Service. After thanking him, I sat down and opened it. There was a note from Tanya.

_Wear this tonight._

Sighing, I pulled out the bag inside to find a short green and black plaid skirt, a black garter belt with thigh highs, and a white button down shirt. Throwing them on the table, I picked up my phone.

"No fucking way. I'm not wearing women's clothing," I said as soon as she picked up.

"Jasper, calm down. It's just for an hour, and it's not on your list of limits," she explained.

"I didn't think I had to specify that I don't wear women's clothes. I'm not a drag queen," I spat.

"I understand that, but this is the client's request, not mine. It's too late to cancel. If you don't want to do it again, I will let the client know, but for tonight, you have to," she explained calmly.

I was so tempted to tell her to take her clients and shove them up her ass, but I couldn't. She'd gotten me off the streets and provided me with a great place to live. Besides, I needed the money now more than ever.

"Fine," I sighed. "But I'm not doing it again. Ever."

"I'll make note of it," she said. "I'll talk to you later. Bye, Jasper."

I hung up, not needing to look at my schedule to know who I had that night. There was only one client perverted enough to make me dress up in a skirt.

Aro pulled up in front of Mr. Jones's place and opened my door, keeping his mouth shut as I got out and wrapped my coat around me even though it was plenty warm enough to go without it. My black stocking legs stuck out from the bottom of the long coat as I walked up to the house and rang the bell. Mr. Jones answered dressed in a tight fitting dark suit and tie. Not saying a word, he opened the door and let me in, closing it behind me. I took off my coat and left it on the railing of the stairs. When I turned around he was staring at me with drool practically running down his chin as he looked at my white shirt and plaid skirt.

"Put these on," he said, shoving a pair of black heels at me. Glaring at him, I toed off my shoes and stuffed my feet into the heels. "Follow me."

Clumsily, I trailed behind him as he led me into his office where he sat behind his desk and motioned for me to sit in the chair in front of it.

"Keep your legs spread," he instructed as his eyes fell to my naked crotch. Letting my legs fall apart, I listened to him moan. "Yeah, just like that."

Then he went into some scenario that was only in his head. He told me some story about how Jazzy had been a bad girl by fucking the football team in the locker room. Then he pushed his chair back from the desk and waved me over. Getting up, I walked around the desk to him and he grabbed my wrist, yanking me forward and down in one motion. I landed across his lap, my bare ass sticking out from the skirt as he rubbed his hand over it.

"Tell me, has my Jazzy been a bad girl?" His hand disappeared from my ass only to land on it with a loud smack. My body jolted forward from the impact. "Tell daddy how bad you've been."

More humiliated than ever before, I let a few tears fall before I stopped them and managed to say, "Daddy, I've been a bad, bad girl."

Another smack. His hands ran up and down my thighs and calves, occasionally spanking me. Suddenly, he pushed me off him and reached for a drawer. He pulled out a bottle of lube and handed it to me.

"On the desk, finger fuck yourself," he instructed. Silently, I did as he said. Placing my ass on the desk in front of him, I lifted one heeled foot to the desk and poured lube on two fingers before easing them into myself. He watched my hand intently as he undid his pants and eased his dick out. I could barely see the thing under his roll of belly fat. "That's it, just like that. Show daddy your hard cock."

I couldn't. My cock was anything but hard. But I lifted my shirt and showed him my flaccid dick as it swayed with the motion of my hand. He began to stroke himself and I was grateful I didn't have to suck his cock because I hated the way he tasted, but then I panicked when he opened the drawer again and pulled out a condom.

No. Fuck no.

Pausing his strokes, he ripped the condom wrapper open and then pulled it on his dick.

In the countless times I'd been to his place, we'd never had sex. There had been many bjs and handjobs, some jerking off, a lot of dressing up and fucked up role play, but never once had either of our dicks entered the other.

"Stand up and turn around so daddy can show you how to be a good girl again," he panted.

I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I wanted to leave and never go back, but I couldn't. It was my job, it was what I did. I was a worthless whore and nothing more. What was one more dick up my ass anyway?

Obeying, I got off the desk and turned around, shuddering when his hands lifted my skirt and exposed my ass. He spanked it a few times before he stood up behind me. While my hands clutched the edge of the desk, he thrust into me. There was some pain, but his dick was so small I barely felt it in me, but I felt his hips as they slapped my ass every time he pushed forward.

Keeping my head bowed and my eyes closed, I pretended I wasn't being fucking by an overweight bald man with the world's smallest dick. With each grunt he released, a tear fell from my eyes and dropped onto the papers on the desk. His hands ran up my spine under the shirt and I felt dirtier than ever. It was worse than being raped by Ian because I was willing let this guy fuck me and do disgusting things to me.

"Jazzy is so tight for her daddy," he groaned right before he came.

He had barely pulled out of me before I was kicking off the heels and walking out of the room. I heard him fall back into the chair, gasping for breath. Refusing to let him see the tears on my face, I grabbed my coat and shoes and walked out of the door, knowing he wouldn't follow me. I strode across the manicured lawn in my stocking feet to the car. Aro jumped out when he saw me and opened the door. I climbed in and tossed my shoes on the floor. Closing the door behind me, Aro got in the front and started the car. Even though I was sure he saw my wet cheeks in the mirror, he never commented on them.

"Home, sir?"

I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't be fucked by random strangers when all I wanted to do was die. For over eight years, I'd been used by others. It was all I'd known, all I knew how to do. I was useless. Worthless.

Blinking away more tears, I shook my head. "Bring me to Peter's please."

"Mr. Carlson's?" he asked, surprised. Looking out the window, I nodded.

The night lights passed by outside the car, but I didn't notice any of them until Aro shifted into park. "We're here."

Not having the strength to do it myself, I waited for him to open my door and I got out. "Can you stay for a few minutes? Just in case he's not here?"

"Of course, Jasper," Aro said kindly. Brushing by him, I walked up the steps to Peter's house, thankful the outside light wasn't on. After I knocked, I began trembling uncontrollably.

"Please," I mumbled to no one. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Aro waiting by the car and watching me. Just as I went to knock again, the door swung open.

"Jasper?" Peter asked as he stepped out onto the porch. "What the…" He looked me up and down, my half button shirt, short skirt, and the black nylons covering my legs. His eyes then went to Aro behind me. "I got him. Thanks, Aro." I don't know if Aro replied or even left, because then I was swept into Peter's embrace as he hugged me. "You okay, babe?" he whispered into my ear and I shook my head.

I was most definitely not okay.

Still in his arms, he led me inside and closed the door. "Go take a shower, I'll get you some clothes."

I went to the guest bathroom and turned on the shower. Practically ripping the clothes off me, I stripped and got in. The scalding water sprayed down on me for nearly an hour and it still wasn't enough to make me feel clean. Lathering up, I scrubbed every inch of skin until I was raw and bleeding in a few places. No matter what I did, I could still smell every person that had ever fucked me on my flesh. Their breath, their perfume, cologne, and body odor hung in the air I breathed. It had all seeped into my body, coating my cells and flowing in my blood. I was dirty on the inside as well as the outside, and nothing I did would ever get me clean. I never heard him come in but when I got out, the clothes I had taken off were gone and there was a tee shirt and gray cotton pants in their place. After I dried off, I looked through the medicine chest for mouthwash, relieved when I found some. Opening it, I poured a large gulp into my mouth and swished it around. Convinced, I couldn't get any cleaner right then, I spit it out and got dressed.

Peter was waiting for me on the leather couch. He looked up when I entered and opened his arms. I fell into them, letting him cocoon me in his warmth. Sitting on his lap, I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked again and that time I nodded.

I was at least better than I had been. But for how long? Until the next night when I was fucked again by some stranger leaving his stench all over me.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to be fucked by all those men anymore," I whispered, barely audible. "I'm tired of it."

Sighing, he kissed my temple. "Quit."

"I need the money," I sighed sadly. "Besides, it's who I am. I'm a whore. It's all I know."

His fingers were under my chin and he lifted my head and forced my eyes to his. "You are not a whore, Jasper."

"I am. I always have been. Even before the streets, I let myself get fucked. It's what I was made for." His eyes narrowed and his lips pursed as he held back the rage I felt building in him. Not at me, but at the words I was saying.

"Then quit and come live here with me." It was an honest offer, and one I knew could easily come true with just one word. I had no doubt Peter would care for me, give me everything I'd ever desired.

All except one thing.

But as much as I was a whore, I was also independent. I didn't like handouts or begging. The times I'd done it on the streets, I'd hated it. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take advantage of him anymore than I already had.

"I can't," I replied, averting my eyes.

"Yes, you can. Let me take care of you. It's okay to let someone take care of you, Jasper. There's no shame in that." he implored.

"I can't live off you," I countered weakly. "You've already done too much for me."

"Because I wanted to," he countered before giving in. "Fine, then come to work for me. You will make your own money and you can help with bills."

I almost smiled at his generous offer. "You're the sweetest man I've ever met, but I have no skill except fucking. I highly doubt you have a department for that."

"No, I don't, but I do have a few positions that you can do. If you're saying no because you don't want to live here, I understand. I will pay you what you make now so you can keep an apartment."

"You're willing to pay me two hundred and fifty dollars an hour? That's crazy."

"Babe, if it got you out of your work, I'd pay you triple that." When I didn't reply, he spoke again. "Jasper, you're miserable. I don't know the details, but I suspect it's something more than just Riley leaving." Swallowing, I looked away, my eyes falling to a spot on the carpet. "Did Edward hurt you?"

"No," I lied. At least not in the way he was thinking.

"Did you break up?" he choked out, afraid of hearing the answer as much as I was saying it.

Slowly, I brought my eyes back to his and nodded slightly. Then I lost it, the tears steadily rolled down my cheeks as my breaths became shallow. Enveloped in his arms, he pulled me tighter and buried my head in the crook of his neck.

"Aw fuck, babe. I'm sorry."

I have no idea how long I sat there, how long he held me, but I eventually stopped shaking and the tears had long dried on my cheeks. Relaxed and exhausted, I let him hold me and took from him the strength he silently emitted. Closing my eyes, I thought about his offer to work for him. It scared me, doing something other than fucking. I was clueless and stupid, I hadn't even graduated high school.

"Let's get you into bed," he said, nudging me. I got up and let him lead me to his bedroom. He was already in a tee shirt and flannel pants so he just folded the blankets down and got in, patting the bed in front of him. He pressed my back to his chest and kissed my shoulder. "Get some sleep."

I tried, I really tried, but every fucking time I closed my eyes, I saw stranger upon stranger leering at me as they watched me while I jerked off. It was hours later before I finally succumbed to sleep.

_I was naked and bent over a bench with my wrists and ankles tied to the legs. Struggling against the bindings, I looked over my shoulder when I heard a chuckle. Behind me for as far as I could see, was a line of men waiting for their turn to fuck me. Each one had their dicks out, stroking themselves as they watched the guy before them take me. I pulled and screamed but it did no good, each one took their time with me, their cocks bare as the brutally thrust into me. Looking at the floor, I fell limp when I saw all the feet of those standing around and cheering on the guys behind them. _

I bolted upright in the bed, my chest heaving for breath as I looked around the unfamiliar room. It wasn't until Peter shifted next to me that I realized where I was.

I was safe.

And I could stay that way if I just said yes to him. He would make sure that the nightmare I'd had didn't ever come true. Decision made, I spent the rest of the night with my eyes wide open, watching him sleep peacefully. He woke up before his alarm went off and he gave me a sleepy smile as he yawned.

Before he could ask if I was okay or if I'd slept, I bit my lip and exhaled. "I'll do it."

Confused, his brows furrowed and he propped himself up onto his elbow. "Do?"

"I want to work for you."

He couldn't contain his smile. "I'll get things going this morning."

I nodded and looked down to where his hand held mine. I hadn't even felt him take it. "There's something else."

"Anything," he whispered huskily.

"I want to live here with you. I don't want to be alone," I murmured, dragging my gaze up his arm and shoulder to his eyes. They were clear and bright and full of love.

"You aren't, babe, you aren't," he said before brushing his lips over mine. "You'll never alone again."

I let him kiss me, I let him hold me. Reveling in the security he gave me, I wrapped myself around him.

A few hours later, Peter was in his office sitting behind his desk while I sat in the chair in front of it. He was on the phone, writing things down and nodding as someone spoke to him.

"That'll be great. Thank you, Stephanie. I appreciate your help," he said into the phone. "Thank you again, goodbye." Hanging up, he rubbed his hands down his face. He'd been on the phone with several different people for over an hour. "Who knew this would be so difficult?"

"Did they find it?"

"Yes. It turns out you were born in Sealy, not Houston. They found the birth certificate and are sending an official copy via overnight service. They didn't want to mail it. I thought we were going to have to fly down there and pick it up ourselves, but they finally gave in."

"Sealy?"

"Yep. A small town about an hour west of Houston."

I looked at notes he'd taken and then to his caring eyes. "When?"

Without glancing down at the paper, he said, "May 24th, 1990. You're going to be twenty-one in a few days."

After all these years, I finally knew my actual birthday. Not that I would celebrate it then. To me, March 30th had become my birthday, but for legal reasons it would remain May 24th.

"Austin, huh?" He smiled knowingly.

"Yeah. They told me it was after my granddaddy, but I never met the guy so I don't know."

"Well, it sounds very nice, Jasper Austin Whitlock," he smiled. "Now that we've got the birth certificate coming, do you want me to get the release papers from the orphanage?"

"Do I need them?"

"I can't think of any reason why you would, except…"

"What?"

"Where did you go to high school?"

"MacArthur High." It'd been years since I'd said that name, or even thought about my four years there.

"And you left before you graduated?"

"Yeah. I turned eighteen before the school year was over. The home kicked me out, so I left."

The tiny muscles in Peter's jaw clenched as he looked down at the notes. "We're going to need to get you a GED."

"What's that?"

"It's a General Equivalency Diploma. If you don't graduate high school, you can take a GED test and get your diploma that way."

"A test?"

"Yes," he said absently as he began to type on the keyboard. "It looks like there's a test in two weeks at Seattle Central Community College. That should be good for you."

"Peter," I swallowed. "I don't think I can take a test. I wasn't very good in school."

"Bullshit. Jasper, you're smart. I bet you got great grades. Thing is, we might need your transcript from MacArthur." He seemed like he was talking more to himself than me. A few minutes later, he was on the phone again, speaking so confidently I don't know how anyone could tell him no. And apparently, they didn't, because he had a satisfied smile on his face as he stood and went to machine behind him. It beeped a few times and then spit out a piece of paper.

"Yes, I received it. And you will send the official one out tomorrow?" He paused and glanced at me. "Great, thank you for your help." Hanging up, he slid the paper across his desk to me. "I was right."

Picking up the paper, I saw four years of my past in print. My former teachers, all my absences, discipline issues, and grades. All A's and B's.

"Jasper, you're GPA was 3.25, that's really good."

"It is?"

Laughing, he nodded. "Yeah, babe. The GED will be a breeze for you."

"But this was three years ago."

"We'll review before the test."

There was an ache in the pit of my stomach. In the span of twelve hours, I was going to quit my job, the only thing I knew how to do, move in to Peter's and work for him, and had paperwork of my existence in front of me.

"You okay?"

Exhaling, I nodded. "It's just a lot to take in."

"You can do this, Jasper. I know you can." I tried to give him a smile, but I failed. Instead, I stared at the transcript I held and remembered things I really wanted to forget. "Are you ready to call her?"

Nodding, I set the paper down. "But what about my stuff?"

"You said the furniture and everything belongs to the Service?"

"Yeah, all of it. Most of the clothes were paid for on the company card, the phone, laptop, are all the Service. The only things there that are mine is some stuff in my bedroom and the piano."

"Was that for Riley?"

"Riley?"

He looked at me strangely, but then said, "Do you want it here? I've got room."

Tugging on my lip, I debated silently. Other than the watch, the piano was the last thing I had to remind me of Edward, but I could never look at it without remembering making love to him on it or seeing him sitting at it. It would be salt on my wound every time I saw it.

"Yes," I answered.

"Consider it done. I'll call movers for it. You and I can go get your stuff out of there right now."

"What about work? I probably have a client tonight," I mumbled.

"Yeah, me. I called Tanya and reserved you for the night. You can call and talk to her tomorrow after we've done all this, okay?"

"Peter, I don't know ab-"

He reached across the desk and covered my hand. "If you change your mind and don't want to live here, we will find another place for you. But Jasper, please, let me do this for you. Let me help you."

"Because you help the people you love…" I quoted the line he always told me.

"Exactly. Just like you're doing for Riley."

Just like Edward had done for me.

Several hours later, we were back at his place, the things from my apartment sitting in the spare bedroom. We'd cleaned out my kitchen and bathroom. He helped me pack my things into a few boxes, teasing me when he saw the toys I had stashed in my drawer. He seemed kind of sad when I told him they were for the Service. I took out my money out of the desk and stuffed it in my pocket.

"No bank account?"

"I don't know how to do that," I answered. I left the laptop and cell phone sitting on the table, locked the door and walked out. Peter had arranged for the piano movers for the next day.

I was putting the few clothes I had away in the dresser when Peter walked in. "You doing okay?"

_No._

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." He came over and looked at the small box of clothes on the bed. "Why don't you leave those. Come with me."

Tossing the pants down, I followed him out of the room and to his car. "Where are we going?"

"You need things. A few pairs of jeans and a tee shirt isn't going to cut it."

He drove us to a few stores where I picked out more jeans, tee shirts, some pajamas, socks and underwear. Then he brought to me his favorite men's store where they waited on me like I owned the biggest building in Seattle. I tried on suit after suit while they measured me and tailored each one to fit perfectly. They were all the designer names I'd come familiar with. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I wondered what had happened to the street whore. In just a few days, I was becoming a different person.

A real person. With a real job, and soon, a real diploma.

A real life.

Was it even possible for someone like me to have a life like Peter or Edward? Could you take the whore off the streets and dress him up and pretend he was an actual person?

Peter moved behind me, catching my eyes in the reflection of the mirror. "You look incredible." I glanced down at the man pinning up my pants and saw his smile.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

After the jackets and pants were measured, we picked out a few dozen shirts and ties and dress shoes. I never saw Peter pay, but I saw him sign a few things before we left. He stuffed the bags in the back of his Mercedes and then took me out to dinner. We sat in a booth and talked, mostly about his work, never about what we were doing. When he ordered a beer, he smiled at me and said that in only a few days, I could order a beer myself.

That night, I got dressed in my new pajama pants and got into a strange bed. Staring at the ceiling, I fought sleep, knowing when it came, it would only bring the nightmares I wanted to avoid.

The next few days were a mixture of relief and anxiousness, both of which competed with the grief I already had in me. My birth certificate arrived via overnight service and I opened it with Peter standing next to me. For the first time since I had left my home when I was eleven, I saw my parents' names in print.

Samuel and Maria Whitlock.

Exhaling the breath I'd been holding, I felt a little lightheaded as I scanned the document.

"Six pounds. You were a small baby," Peter said looking over my shoulder. His arm had already snuck around my waist to support me. "Do you remember them?"

"Unfortunately," I sighed.

"Do you want me to track them down? I can hire a private investigator," he offered, but I was shaking my head before he finished.

"No. I don't want to know. They aren't my family anymore."

He kissed my cheek. "You know I love you, right?" Sighing, I nodded and closed my eyes.

A few hours later, while Peter sat next to me and held my hand, I called Tanya and told her I was quitting. She took the news well, tempting me to stay with the offer of a raise, but I refused and thanked her for all her help. She said I could have the apartment until the end of the month, which would give us a week to get the piano out. Then she told me to come in for my last paycheck and I said I'd be by in a few hours. Peter drove me to the Service and waited while I went inside and got my money. Tanya thanked me for being such a popular escort, kissed my cheek and wished me the best. She also said I was welcome back anytime. Relieved, I left and Peter took me to a bookstore and bought me a book on studying for the GED.

I spent my nights reading and taking practices tests. Peter quizzed me while he cooked and we ate dinner, then he would watch his westerns while I laid my head in his lap and studied even more. A few days after I'd moved in, Peter was cooking breakfast when I entered the kitchen. He turned when he heard me.

"Happy birthday, babe," he said, kissing my cheek.

It was officially my birthday.

He handed me breakfast and I sat on a stool at the island. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Don't you have to work?" I asked, pushing my food around.

"I took the day off. I want to spend it with you. What do you want to do?"

Shrugging, I looked down at my plate. He sighed and came over to me, kissing my temple. "Babe, I hate seeing you so sad all the time. Come on, let's do something fun. What do you like to do?"

I remembered celebrating my birthday with Edward at the batting cages. "I like baseball."

"Baseball it is."

A few hours later, I was having my first legal beer while sitting under the rare Seattle sun in box seats at Safeco Field watching a Mariners game. Peter's body felt warm and solid next to me, and I didn't mind when his hand ended up on my lap. We cheered the team on, sang songs during the seventh inning stretch, and even did the wave, although Peter had to explain to me what it was. He laughed and I tried. He ordered us hot dogs and cotton candy from the wait staff that serviced the season seats he had. The sun shined down on us and I felt…warm, safe, and loved.

And completely miserable.

After the game, Peter took me out to dinner before going back to his house.

"I'm going to take a bath," I told him as we walked in from the garage.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said softly with a kiss to my cheek. "I know it wasn't me you wanted to spend your birthday with, but I hope you had some fun."

If it was possible for my heart to break anymore than it already had, it did just then. The guilt that I carried daily swelled painfully and my chest ached from the pressure. All Peter had ever done was be everything I needed, everything I wanted. He was perfect and there, and yet, I was still hoping to be in the arms of another.

I knew little about love, or the aftermath of it, but I knew people eventually moved on. I had made Edward promise me he would remember me when he fell in love again, because I knew he would. It might be months or years away, but he would love another. Could I do the same?

"Peter?" I reached for his wrist as he went to walk by me. "Take a bath with me?"

His eyes narrowed as he searched mine, looking for what might persuade him to join me or not. I kept much of Edward and the ache I wore daily veiled, but I knew he could still see it. But perhaps he saw beyond that, perhaps he saw the love I also had for him, regardless of how it was born, it was there. He must have found what he needed, because he nodded and let me take his hand and lead him up to his master bathroom. We undressed while the tub filled with hot water and suds and then he climbed in first and made room for me to sit between his legs. I settled against him and sighed when he began washing me. It wasn't sexual, it was caring and tender and exactly what I needed.

He was completely silent as he continued to bath me, letting me rest against him when he finished. The warm water surrounding me and his strong body behind me lulled me into a drowsy state and my eyes drifted closed. I have no idea how long we sat there like that, but when he shook me, my head had turned to the side.

"Babe, let's get you into bed," he said, nuzzling my damp hair with his nose and nudging my side with his knee. Lazily, I climbed out of the tub and grabbed towels for us. We dried off in silence and then I wrapped mine around my hips. Before I left the room, I pulled him to me and brushed my lips across his.

"Thank you for a wonderful birthday," I whispered into the small space between us. "Thank you for everything you've done. I don't know where I'd be with you."

"You're welcome, Jasper. Night, love you."

"Night, Peter," I sighed before releasing his hand and going to my room. I didn't even bother to get dressed, I just let the towel fall to the floor and crawled into bed, my eyes closing the second my head hit the pillow.

_The crowd was huge, people were everywhere. Some were walking slowly, others were almost running in the mad dash to make a connecting flight. As soon as I had stepped off the plane, I could smell the airport restaurants and coffee shops. I glanced around for Edward, but there were so many people I didn't see him right away. _

_Suddenly, the crowd increased and passengers bumped into me as they moved past me. _

"_Edward," I called out, feeling lost and alone even though I was surrounded by people. Using my height to my advantage, I stood on my toes and scanned the heads for copper hair, but saw none. "Edward Cullen!"_

_Nothing. No one turned around, Edward didn't speak up. The crowd thickened and I began to panic. Maybe I was at the wrong gate, maybe I'd been on the wrong flight. Frantic, I began looking around for someone in a uniform but all I found were more and more passengers. _

_Then I heard something. It was quiet, but clear above the mumblings of the crowd. _

"_I can't believe he didn't come. I thought he loved me," the voice said softly. It was Edward, I knew it was him. Encouraged, I searched for him, constantly calling out his name. Finally I spotted him at the very edge of the crowd, his eyes were darting around and I swear they landed on me but he didn't say anything, he didn't seem to notice it was me. _

"_EDWARD!" _

_People turned and looked at me but I didn't care. I started to shove them aside, pushing them down in my desperation to reach Edward. Frustratingly slowly I made my way through the mass, calling out his name. Then I saw a tear roll down his cheek as he shook his head. _

"_He doesn't love me," he cried and then turned and started walking away. _

"_NO! Edward, come back, I do love you. Come back, come back!" I screamed as loud as I could, shoving people aside. The closer I got to him, the further away he seemed. Nothing I did got his attention. _

"_I can't believe you went to him," he growled. I could hear him but he couldn't hear me no matter how loudly I yelled. When I finally reached the end of the crowd, he was gone._

_I was alone. _

Gasping, I woke up soaked in sweat, drenching the sheets under me as I took in calming gulps of air. I was still shaking when I got out of bed and walked naked down the hall to Peter's room. Pushing his door open, I saw him on his bed, sprawled out face down and sound asleep. The sheet was low on his back and I could tell he hadn't dressed after our bath either. I found myself walking over to his bed and getting in, telling myself it was only one night, I just needed him one night. I was lying and I fucking knew it, but it didn't stop me from curling into his side. When he felt the bed dip, he opened his eyes. There was no surprise in them, he'd been expecting me. He knew me that well. Rolling onto his side, he made room for me and wrapped an arm around me.

"You're not alone," he whispered into my hair.

He was right. I wasn't.

After that first night of sleeping with Peter, it was easy to crawl into his bed after the bad dreams. One night I finally gave up the pretense of even going to my room and just went to bed with him. The hurt eased when he was next to me, his body a distraction from the nightly shredding of my heart.

A little less than two weeks after I moved in, I was lying wrapped in his arms, his chest pressed to my back, his breaths on my neck, his morning wood rubbing eagerly against my ass. I might have been sleeping naked with him every night but things hadn't progressed past a few kisses and him holding me. It wasn't that neither of us didn't want it, our bodies certainly wanted each other, but it wasn't something I could do yet.

I woke up when he kissed my shoulder. "It's getting late. Your test is in a few hours," he mumbled sleepily. Nodding, I waited until he loosened his hold on me and then I climbed out of bed and headed to the shower.

An hour later, we were both showered, shaved, and eating breakfast. I sipped my coffee while Peter ate a bagel and gathered a few things.

"Ready?"

I followed him to the car and he drove me to what looked like a small college or high school.

"Do you have all the papers you need?"

"I think so," I answered nervously as I looked around us at others getting out of their cars and going inside. They all looked so normal. I wondered if any of them were ex-hookers. "Peter…"

"Babe, you got this. Trust me okay? You'll do great," he soothed. I undid the seatbelt and looked at him. "I'll be here when you get out." Leaning toward him, I kissed him. Not the brief kisses we'd shared since I'd moved in, but a real kiss. My tongue had barely entered his mouth before he was pulling back. "Love you."

I walked into the building and followed the signs to the classroom where the test was. All eyes looked up at me as I walked in and I began to worry that they could tell I didn't belong there, that I was a fraud trying to be a real person, but no one said anything. Sitting in the back, I listened to the instructor and finally began the test. Hunched over, I read the questions and filled in the answers, biting down on my bottom lip so hard, I didn't realize it was bleeding until I used the bathroom during a break and caught my reflection. I looked like shit. Like I belonged back on the streets. I'd lost weight, my eyes were dull and had dark circles under them, my skin was pale, and my lips were dry.

Returning to the test, I resumed my position and tried to concentrate on the questions. When the time was up, I turned in the test and went outside. Peter was sitting in his car waiting for me, smiling when he saw me walking toward him.

"How did it go?" he asked as I got in.

"I think it went okay. I actually knew some of the answers."

"I told you," he laughed. "You're smart, Jasper. Trust me. I need to run by the office, do you mind coming? It will be a good chance to meet some people."

"Sure," I answered, doing up my seatbelt.

He drove us to his office building, a huge skyscraper in the middle of the city, and parked in a space reserved for him inside a parking garage. Taking my hand, he led me inside. The security guard in the lobby greeted him, and Peter asked about his wife and kids before pulling me onto the elevators. When the doors closed, he smiled at me in the reflection. On the tenth floor, we stepped off and he was instantly approached by four or five people, each of them throwing out questions that he answered confidently and without hesitation. They gave me a curious glance, but nothing more. Tugging on my hand, he let me to his office.

It was on the corner of the floor and had two complete walls of windows. His desk, which almost matched the one at his house, was in the corner of the windows. There were two bookcases and a small sofa on the opposite wall, and two leather chairs in front of his desk. It was clean and uncluttered and elegant.

"I thought you were taking the day off?" a girl accused him with a raised brow as she walked in. She was small with straight, blond, shoulder length hair. Her clothing and jewelry looked expensive.

"I was. I am," he chuckled as he shuffled through some papers. "I just needed the file on the new client. I want to review it later." Suddenly he looked up at me. "Jasper, this is Cassie my assistant, Cassie this is my friend Jasper."

Cassie gave me an appreciative once over. "Friend, huh? That's too bad," she smirked. "He's cute."

"Yes, he is," Peter agreed, shaking his head. Cassie held her hand out to me.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper. I'm Peter's better half."

"Nice to meet you too," I replied, shaking her hand. She was comfortable around Peter, not intimidated like so many others I'd seen when he neared them.

"Hey, watch it," Peter quipped to her. "Got the file. Ready to go, babe?"

"Babe?" Cassie smiled. "Oh yeah, he's just a friend."

Peter ignored her. "Can you fax me the info I asked for earlier?"

"Sure, it should be here within the hour. Anything else?"

"No, I think that covers it. I should be in tomorrow." Peter took my hand. "Call me if you have any problems. Thanks, Cass."

"I will. See you tomorrow. Bye, Jasper."

"Bye," I said as Peter pulled me toward the door.

On the way out, he happily introduced me to almost everyone in the office. Everyone was very friendly, and not one of them seemed to think it was strange that Peter was holding my hand. He was so comfortable with who he was, even in public.

Another two weeks passed.

Two weeks of visiting Riley every few days, of sitting outside rain or sun, holding him on my lap as he complained about rehab. His moods ranged from downright pissed to loving. Although even when he was mad at me for him being there, for putting him through it all, he still put his head on my shoulder, he still murmured things in my ear, he still thanked me for not leaving him.

Two weeks of no clients. Instead of spending my nights getting fucked by strangers, they were spent on the couch in Peter's arms watching movies or westerns.

Two weeks of sitting at the piano and letting my hands roam uncertainly over the keys. At the beach, Edward had promised to teach me how to play but we had run out of time. While Peter was at work, I went on his computer and found videos and web pages on the basics of notes and keys. It had taken me days, but I was finally able to figure out a few things, and by the end of a week I was able to play the beginning notes of something called Chopsticks. At the end of the second week, I had learned a simple song, and played it over and over. I hid my playing from Peter, always stopping before he got home from work until one afternoon, I was so involved with the music, I didn't hear him enter. Suddenly, he came up behind me and kissed my head.

"He'd be very proud of you," he murmured sadly before walking off.

After he'd caught me playing, he asked me every night to play for him. I played the parts to the one song I knew. It was clumsy and I messed it up a lot, but he always smiled as he listened. Sometimes, I concentrated so hard on the keys and where my fingers needed to go that I imagined it was Edward who I was playing for. That he was the one on the couch listening to me with a proud smile on his face.

Two weeks of no Edward in my life. Fourteen nights suffering with an ache that refused to relinquish its hold on my heart. I thought about him constantly, wondering what he was doing, if he was okay, if he was with someone else…if he'd found love again. I missed him so fucking much. I missed his smile, his velvet voice, the way he looked in the morning, the way he would always hold me in just the right way.

I missed the pull.

It hadn't completely gone away, it sat there waiting for its other half to reappear. Unlike me, the pull never gave up hope in finding Edward again. Even when I was in bed with another, the pull still hoped for Edward's presence.

That Friday Peter arrived home from work, looking incredibly handsome in his navy suit and white shirt.

"Hey," I said as he kissed me on the cheek and sat down on the couch next to me.

"Hey, babe. This came for you," he said, handing me a white envelope. "It's your GED results." Biting my lip, I took the letter and glanced at him. "Go on, open it."

Taking a deep breath, I opened the envelope and pulled out the paper, scanning it quickly. "I passed," I told him in s shaky voice.

"Aw, babe," he smiled, pulling me to him a tight hug. "Of course you did."

Then I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time, if ever.

Pride.

I had accomplished something, I was now a high school graduate. I buried my head in his shoulder, a few tears slipping from my eyes as a weak happiness sprouted inside me. But I hadn't done it alone, the man holding me had a lot to do with it. Lifting my head, I looked at him, into his aqua eyes and saw the pride he had for me.

"I did because you," I told him honestly before kissing him.

In bed, Peter stirred in his sleep behind me, his arm unconsciously pulling me closer as he released a contented sigh and pulled me from my memories of the past month. Clenching my eyes, I fought off the memories of Edward that always invaded my nights. Behind closed eyes, I would relive every moment we'd had together, from the minute the hotel door opened to reveal his beautiful face to our last night together. Each night they played like a movie in my head, each night I ended up wishing it would stop, only to then wish it would never stop. I never wanted to forget him, his crooked smile or the sparkle in his deep green eyes.

The days weren't so bad. Since I had officially received my GED, I had gone to work for Peter as a booking agent for his firm. I worked closely with Cassie and Peter the first few weeks as they showed me around the office and introduced me to all my new colleagues. Everyone welcomed me with open arms, offering their assistance if I needed it. Peter trained me himself, going over every detail of the job, how I was responsible for booking function halls and places for client meetings, benefits, and press conferences. I dealt with scheduling caterers, florists, and visiting the locations to make sure they were appropriate. I had been so nervous my first few days, thinking it was well beyond anything I was capable of. Peter paid me a weekly salary that surpassed my escort pay, and he helped me open my first bank account, and purchase my own cell phone.

I could have easily moved out and afforded my own place, but I didn't want to.

I wanted to be with him.

Peter and I had fallen into a daily routine. We would wake up and shower in separate bathrooms before dressing in our suits and eating some breakfast, usually he made the bagels while I poured the coffee. Then we would get into his Mercedes and he would drive us to work. My lunch hour was always spent with him, usually eating takeout in his office but sometimes we ventured to a local grill or sushi restaurant. After work, we drove home and began our nightly routine of dinner and westerns. Every two days I left for a few hours to go visit Riley. If I couldn't make it, Peter always went in my place. When there was family therapy, I left work early to attend the meeting before going home.

During the days, I was living a normal life.

It was the nights that still wrecked me. Every fucking single one of them.

Whether I wanted it to or not, sleep always came, and along with it, the nightmare I dreaded. My body yearned for sleep. I fought it with all my strength, but my body's need took over and I drifted into sleep.

_The airport was crowded with people shoving and pushing past me. Edward was walking away from me and no matter how loudly I screamed his name he never heard me. I ran by people, but each step I took put Edward further away from me. Then suddenly I was outside the airport in a strange city. Buildings towered around me and I felt small and alone. Looking down the sidewalk, I spotted Edward and I ran toward him, my feet heavy. Desperately, I called out his name. Finally, he stopped and I sighed in relief. My lungs burned from the sprint and I gasped for breath. Just as I took a step toward Edward, I realized he wasn't alone. He was talking to another man, one that looked slightly familiar to me but I couldn't place where I knew him from. Thankful Edward was at least stopped, I continued toward him until I saw him throw his head back in laughter, the sun catching every shade of red his hair had to offer. The other man smiled at him, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to Edward's. With a gaping mouth, I waited for Edward to push him away, to bitch at him for touching him when he clearly didn't want it. _

_But Edward didn't push the man away. He reached up and curled a hand behind the man's neck and drew him even closer. Around us, the people faded away until it was only the three of us left on the street. The man's eyes were open, knowingly staring at me with satisfaction as I watched them. Then I recognized him. It was the man from the hotel._

_Spencer._

_It was his arms wrapped around Edward, his lips on Edward's mouth, his moans being swallowed by Edward's kiss. _

_Breaking the kiss, Spencer murmured in Edward's ear, loud enough for me to hear. "We've got company." _

_Curious, Edward glanced over his shoulder at me before turning around. He leaned against Spencer as he eyed me with a smirk. "What do you want?"_

"_You. I came for you," I screamed. How could he not know?_

"_You're too late, Jasper. You made your choice and you chose someone else." He looked at Spencer. "And so did I. Run along now. Go back to the streets and your whore."_

"_Wait, Edward," I cried out as he turned and walked hand in hand with Spencer down the street. _

_I was alone. _

My eyes opened to reveal a dark room, silent except for the rain pelting the windows. Tears streamed down my face and I trembled with each beat of my sore, pounding heart. I let the tears continue as I reached blindly for the hand that I knew was resting low on my abdomen and tangled our fingers together. His body was still pressed against me, warm and secure, even in his sleep.

"Babe, you okay?" Peter asked.

I wanted to apologize for waking him up, I wanted to say I was sorry for everything I'd put him through, I wanted to climb out of the bed and leave him, save him from sharing my misery, and never look back. Sometimes everything just felt so wrong.

And sometimes it felt right.

Nodding, I took a deep breath. He kissed my shoulder and sighed. "You cry almost every night. It breaks my heart to see you like this."

"I'm okay. Just a bad dream about Riley," I lied.

"It wasn't Riley's name you were calling out, babe." He left another kiss on my neck. "It was Edward's," he murmured.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I forced back the tears, refusing to let them fall again. Guilt wracked me almost as much as grief did. There were several more kisses along my shoulder before his lips were at my ear.

"Let me make you feel better," he said so quietly I almost missed it. "Let me give you what you need."

What I needed was thousands of miles away.

What I needed was in the bed next to me.

Wiping my cheeks, I turned over and faced him, keeping my eyes closed as our lips met in a fury of searing kisses. I groaned and threw myself at him with equal fervor, kissing him back in a way that scraped and hurt, but that we knew we needed. There were no words spoken, no sounds but groans as our bodies began to move against each other. Tunneling my fingers through his hair, the hair he was growing out for me, I fisted it, tugging on it as I gasped when his hand reached between us and took our cocks into his fist. My semi-hard erection slid along his and he moaned into the frenzied kiss. Panting, he pulled away and moved his wet lips along my jaw line and down my neck. I arched backward, giving him all the room he needed to nip and lick his way on my tender skin.

There was no one but us in the room, I felt nothing but his teeth and lips on me, his hand stroking us while his other groped my ass. He released our cocks, which had become slick with precum, and ran his hand along my ass down to the back of my thigh. Gripping it, he hitched my leg over his. With a slight shift of his hips, his cock slipped between my legs, rubbing under my balls and over my entrance. Moaning, my pelvis bucked forward, firmly capturing my erection between us. Our bodies never faltered as we devoured and caressed. His touches, while impatient and urgent, lavished me, showing me just how much he loved me, how much he needed me. As his mouth smashed to mine again, his hips began deliberate thrusts, his cock seeking out any friction it could get. Ragged breaths escaped me as I broke the kiss and licked along his jaw, tasting his slightly salty flesh and inhaling his masculine scent.

"Jesus, babe," he groaned when I began sucking on his Adam's apple. Both his hands were on my ass, holding me still as he moved against me. My hands remained in his soft, silky hair, constantly running through it, twisting it around my fingers.

"I want you to fuck me," I whispered breathlessly against his collarbone. "Please."

I needed to feel the connection I was so familiar with.

Groaning, he rolled me onto my back, his weight comfortable and familiar on me as he pressed me into the mattress. The new position allowed him better access and he began rocking his hips in earnest, our cocks rubbing against each other with each wanton movement. I released his hair and skimmed my hands over the sleek muscles rolling under the smooth skin of his back. Placing his hands by my shoulders, he pushed himself up and looked down at me as his hips worked us both into a heated coupling. I savored the raw intimacy of the rapt gaze of his eyes, showing me it wasn't just a fuck for him, it never was anymore. To him, it was making love.

Running the backs of my fingers down his cheek, I returned his look. "I want you to make love to me," I altered my words, saying the ones I knew he longed to hear.

His breath hitched and his eyes flickered, revealing the emotions he carried in him all the time. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

And I was.

Edward was gone. We were done. Peter was still here, still holding me and loving me.

"Make love to me, Peter…"

He collapsed on me, crushing me with his weight and bruising my lips with a ravaging kiss. Our tongues meet and tangled until he broke it to reach for his nightstand. Stilling his hips, he opened the drawer and pulled out the lube and a condom. My fingers danced up and down his strong arm and I watched the racing pulse in his neck as he ripped the condom open. Spreading my legs, I made room for him as he kneeled and rolled the condom down his cock, his eyes watching me for any hesitation I might be feeling.

There was none.

I lay in front of him as he prepared himself, slathering lube on his length. When he went to pour lube on his fingers to ready me, I reached for his wrist.

"Just do it," I mumbled.

Tilting his head, he stroked himself and looked at me. "It'll hurt, babe."

"I know." I wanted to feel the pain. I deserved the pain with what I was doing. "I want it this way," I assured him and then reached behind my thighs and lifted my legs, exposing my vulnerable hole to him. Unable to hold back any longer, he nodded slightly and poised the head of his cock at my entrance. When he paused, I lifted my hips in invitation. "I need you, Peter."

That was all it took. With the release of those words, he pushed forward, slowly forcing his cock into me, stopping the second I sucked in a breath. Gritting my teeth, I hissed as my body stretched to accommodate his size.

"Babe," he whimpered, the strain of not moving evident in his voice, "you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just been awhile," I rasped. "You can move."

As gently as possible, Peter rolled his hips forward, his cock filling me inch by inch until I finally felt his balls against my ass. The burn spread, I felt like I was being torn apart, but I welcome each and every sliver of pain. Anything was better than the agony in my chest. Buried deep in my ass, Peter lowered himself until his chest and lips were on mine. Releasing my legs, I wrapped them around his waist, encouraging him to move. He finally did, easing his hips into a slow, tight rhythm. We kissed languidly while he rocked us back and forth, our bodies connected everywhere. The burning that had been anchored in my ass began to travel up my spine, teasing it with a pleasurable pain.

The timbre of the smacking of his hips against my ass and our mutual guttural grunts filled the formally silent room. Each time his tongue swept over mine, a new part of me was flayed open, the salt poured on the wound, and I craved more of it. My fingers clawed desperately at his back, my nails digging into him as I struggled to lift my hips to meet his increasingly forceful thrusts. Pumping his hips, he groaned, his breaths labored from the effort. He put his forehead on mine, his eyes close and intense, his damp hair pressed against my skin.

"Touch yourself, babe. I want to see you come," he panted. Even though I was hard, my cock throbbing to be touched, I hadn't planned on coming. I yearned for the torture the blue balls would give me, the frustration of not coming might distract me for a few minutes and relieve me from myself. I should have known that Peter wouldn't allow that. He would make sure I was taken care of, that I reached the same heights of pleasure that he sought. When I was slow to reach for myself, he snuck a hand between our abdomens and wrapped his long fingers around my cock. Pleasure with the promise of relief behind it instantly surged through me and my eyes rolled back.

"Feel good?"

"So fucking good," I heard myself moan.

Without my heart's permission, my hips began moving under his skilled stroking and soon I felt the stirring of my orgasm low in my belly. An urgency flooded me and I wrapped my legs tighter around him, meeting each of his thrusts with one of my own. Sweat dripped down the side of my face as I breathed heavily into the small space between us. In tandem, our bodies moved, each giving the other exactly what they needed at that time. It seemed like hours we both hovered on that edge, holding hands and daring the other to jump first. But neither of us would, we wanted the sweet torture to last, to keep our bodies afire until we couldn't stand it anymore. He released release my length and pressed himself to me so tightly that we could feel my cock twitching between us as it ached with need. His eyes never left mine, he held my gaze as he slowly worked my body until I was shaking uncontrollably.

"Make me come, lover," I begged him in a hoarse whisper as I brushed my fingers down his cheek, savoring the connection we were sharing.

His eyes widened at sentiment right before his mouth crashed onto mine and he plunged his cock deeper into me with a new urgency, striking the spot that sent me spiraling into momentary bliss. My cock and my balls drew up and the fire radiated throughout me until it ignited and I grunted. Between us, my cock pulsed and emptied, shooting warm cum and adhering our already sticky flesh. My body tensed and stilled, but his kept moving as he milked my climax with each pump of his hips and brushing along my prostate.

For a few moments, I forgot the pain.

I forgot everything but the beautiful, generous man above me, filling my body and my heart.

The clenching of my ass clamped his cock and he groaned. Breaking the kiss, he panted for breath and I knew he was only thrusts away.

"Come for me," I murmured, never taking my eyes from his.

He brushed my hair off my face as he breached the space and kissed me. The second our lips met, his body shuddered violently and two powerful thrusts later, he came. Losing all rhythm, his hips jerked erratically as he rode out his climax, his mouth never leaving mine. The room was then filled with the cries of pleasure as two became one and found completion and temporary solace in each other's arms in the most natural, primal way.

Making love.

With one last kiss, he carefully pulled out and took the condom off before getting up and going into the bathroom. The water ran for few seconds and he returned with a wet towel and wiped me clean with gentle swipes. Tossing the towel into the basket, he got into bed and pulled me to him. My face was buried in the contours of his neck while one hand rested on his hip and the other played with the ends of his hair. He sighed, a slight smile on his face as he hugged me closer.

"Love you, Jasper," he whispered just before his sated body drifted to sleep.

I refused to let sleep claim me again. Instead, I closed my eyes and sank into the warm body next to me, offering me more than I could ever want.

The next morning, I was up as soon as I as I saw a hint of daylight. Untangling myself from his grip, I showered and dressed and was downstairs cooking breakfast when Peter walked up behind me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he kissed my neck right above the collar of my shirt.

"Morning, babe," he murmured softly. "You okay after last night?"

_No._

Turning over my shoulder, I kissed him and said, "Definitely."

I told myself this was the life I was supposed to live. I was supposed to be loved by a beautiful man that would take care of me. I just needed to get used to it.

Peter released me and I handed him his coffee and a bagel with cream cheese. He smiled and ate, flipping through the paper that had been delivered. "What time do you see Riley today?"

"Two I think."

"I was going to go with you, but I've got a meeting at two-thirty," he frowned. "Tell him I said hi."

"Sure."

As we drove to work, I wasn't surprised when his hand moved across the seat to take mine. I was surprised when I turned my palm up and squeezed his in return.

I could get used to this. It was what I was supposed to want.

The morning at work was busy, I spent most of it on the phone, ate lunch with Peter in his office, and then took the car across town to Riley's rehab.

Just like always, he sprinted across the lobby when he saw me, jumping into my arms and wrapping his legs around me. He felt heavier than he did when he'd first been admitted, I could feel a new firmness to his body that wasn't just skin and bone. His hair was clean and shiny and he smelled like body wash.

"Angel," he sighed before he kissed me.

"Hey, sweetheart." With him tangled around me, I walked us to the patio where we spent most of our time together. Sitting down in one of the chairs, Riley shifted so he was straddling my lap. "How's your week so far?"

"Fucking long. I swear if Mort doesn't shut the fuck up, I'm going to kill him."

"I thought you were a lover, not a fighter," I reminded him, quoting his words from the week before.

He sighed. "Apparently not where he's concerned. Good news though, I'm halfway through this shit and I'm almost off the meds."

"Congratulations," I smiled and reached up to brush his long hair back. When I did, he looked at me, his eyes sharply boring into mine as he studied my guilt. Instantly, he knew.

"You fucked Peter," he accused. Guiltily, I looked down at our clasped hands and chewed on the inside of my cheek. "Angel, when you moved in with him you told me it wasn't about sex. I told you it would break him if you did this."

"He wanted it too," I mumbled.

"Of course he did, he's fucking in love with you."

Bringing my eyes back to his, I challenged his hard stare with one of my own. "Then why is it wrong?"

"Because you're not in love with him," he reasoned.

"Since when do you have to be in love with someone to have sex? Are you in love with Josh? He fucks you every week."

"It's different and you fucking know it. We use each other. Peter isn't using you, he wants a life with you."

I really fucking hated it when Riley was rational.

"Besides, maybe I am in love with him," I offered quietly.

"Oh? A few months without Edward and you're ready to move on?" He raised a brow and tilted his head until I looked away again.

"Maybe. What's wrong with that? Why can't I move on with Peter?"

Riley sighed and put his temple to mine. "You can, angel. Just be careful. He's a good guy, don't hurt him, he doesn't deserve it."

"What do I do?" I asked desperately, needing all the answers to all my questions.

"You need to choose."

He made it sound so simple, so easy, when it was anything but. How does someone choose between someone you love and someone who loves you? Did I even have a choice? Even if I chose Edward, it wouldn't matter. We were done, we wouldn't be together as long as I was in Seattle and he was in Chicago. Choosing Edward only meant I wouldn't be with Peter.

"Then I choose…" _Edward._ "Peter," I swallowed, closing my eyes.

We spent the rest of the visit sitting there silently. Occasionally, he kissed me and murmured in my ear how much he missed me and wanted to live with me again. I knew he was secretly relieved at my choice. Choosing Peter meant I was staying in Seattle for good. When it came time for me to leave, Riley clung to me and begged me not to go.

It never got any easier.

After a tender kiss, I whispered, "I love you."

"Love you too," he smiled sadly and watched me walk out the door.

I made it to the car before the first tear fell.

"**~~**"

Over the next three weeks, my life move forward.

It turned out I was actually good at my job. My innate charm and ability to read people, things that made me a good hooker, helped a lot. People automatically felt at ease with me. Even the demanding ones spoke highly of me to Peter and he beamed with pride. He taught me the art of networking and I began to make acquaintances all over the country.

Peter and I spent every day and night together. Often we would go out to dinner or even have people from the office over for a few dinner parties. Peter was a great host, opening up his huge backyard and patio for barbeques. I found myself mingling, sitting by Peter's side, holding his hand and smiling as we entertained our guests. For the first time in my life, I knew people who didn't do drugs or sell their bodies for money.

Our weekends were spent visiting Riley or shopping or doing things around the house. Each night, Peter and I slept tightly embraced in each other's arms. He would sleep while I fought it until my body caved. My sleep continued to be filled with dreams of Edward. Even if I resisted thinking about him during the day, the nights completely belonged to him. My unconscious couldn't contain its desires for him and the yearnings came out in the form of the same nightmare.

I would find him waiting for me at the airport, he would ignore me and turn away. When I finally caught him, he would be with Spencer, kissing, or even fucking. I woke up in Peter's arms feeling like a hypocrite. How could I be hurt about Edward finding comfort in another man when I'd done the exact same thing?

Peter and I made love almost every night, our bodies finding each other in the dark when we could no longer deny the need for comfort or suppress the desire for release. Usually he topped me, but there were a few times when he murmured his need for me in my ear and it would be my cock sheathed in a condom as it slowly pushed inside him, filling him with thrusts until we both cried out. The positions and needs changed, but one thing never did.

The love he felt for me.

It remained in the air around us no matter what we were doing. As much as I tried, I had yet to return the words to him. He never seemed frustrated or angry about it, he just accepted that in time I would say it.

In time I would feel it.

One day after Peter had completed negotiations on a new multimillion dollar contract he'd been working on for weeks, he wanted to celebrate. An hour later we were walking into a gay club in downtown Seattle. The music was blaring, the walls thumping to the beat along with the shirtless men bouncing up and down on the dance floor. Peter pulled me to the floor, and then he did something I'd never seen him do.

He danced.

Not just swaying hips to music while he cooked, but actually danced.

It wasn't only my eyes that noticed the seductive way he moved. Dressed in a blue striped button down and tight dark jeans, he commanded attention and he got it. Just about every set of eyes in that place turned, even if they were with another, and at least appreciated the hot guy. We spent the night dancing, sometimes so close he could feel my erection, sometimes further apart as we jumped and turned. Our bodies got sweaty, we got thirsty, but we kept dancing. The music pumped, hips grinded, and I almost laughed.

"You dance as well as Riley said," he whispered in my ear. When I raised a brow, he confessed that Riley had told him about how he and I would sneak into clubs.

"If you think I can dance, you should see Riley. That boy has moves," I returned.

"Oh, I don't doubt it," he smirked. There was a flash of something in his eyes, an excitement or newness that lasted only a second, but I saw it. Before I could say something, his hands were spinning me around and we were dancing with another couple, all grinding and groping.

Back at Peter's house, we stripped our clothes, our eyes watching each other with a passion that had been growing steadily for weeks. Falling into bed, he covered my eager body with his and took me hard and fast, like he used when we first met. The headboard banged against the wall under his pounding thrusts. On all fours, my body accepted each one, begging and pleading for more. After hoarse cries escaped us and our cocks had emptied, we collapsed onto the bed, our chests heaving as we gasped for breath. He kissed my cheek and then cleaned up while I stripped the cum covered sheets off the bed and got new linens. Naked, we made the bed, even laughing at how horny and impatient we had both been. I climbed in and Peter said he had a surprise for me. Curious, I watched his bare ass as he moved across the room and got a bag, then went to the television and turned it on. Crawling into bed, he positioned himself behind me, sealing my back to his chest, his soft cock squished against the cleft of my ass.

I sucked in a painful breath when the music started. Instantly, my chest was heavy when the uncontainable ache turned into a piercing pain as the never healed wound was ripped opened again. While I sat in my own personal hell, Peter put his lips at my ear.

"Surprised? I saw it was the only movie at your apartment, so I thought it must be your favorite. Although I have to admit the flying monkeys always kind of freaked me out."

Before I could even think to stop them, the tears streamed freely down my face. Silently, I watched as Dorothy ran into her house looking for her aunt. Unable to watch anymore, I closed my eyes. A sob worked its way through me, finally escaping and alerting Peter.

"Babe?" He shifted so he could see my face better. When I turned away, he took my chin and pulled it toward him. "Oh God," he whispered when he saw my tear streaked cheeks. "I'm sorry, I thought…I thought it was something you liked."

"I do," I sniffled. "Sometimes it reminds of me my childhood."

_And Edward._

He sighed. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Jasper. Want me to turn it off?"

"No," I shook my head. I was going to force myself through it. "I want to watch it with you. Thank you for thinking of it."

Unsure, he nodded and wrapped his arms around me. The movie continued, as did my tears, until Dorothy was finally kissing her dear friends goodbye. When she came to the scarecrow, and said she would miss him most of all, I openly sobbed. Peter turned me in his arms, hugging me to him until my tears had run dry. Using the remote, he stopped the movie and then lay down, still holding me. My tears soaked his skin as he whispered soothing sounds in my ear and ran his hands up and down my back.

"I love you so much, babe," he murmured.

I cried harder.

At some point, exhaustion took over and I relaxed in Peter's arms enough to feel myself fading into sleep.

"_Now which way do I go?" I asked myself as stood at the intersection of the yellow brick road as it veered off in two directions. I sighed, studying one path, then the other. They looked the same, both lined with fields and a fence. _

"_That way is a very nice way."_

_I looked around for the voice but only found a scarecrow dressed in ragged clothing hanging on a post on the other side of the post and rail fence. He was thin with long dark hair and big, hopeful, brown eyes._

"_Who said that?"I asked aloud._

_The scarecrow smirked. "Me, silly. I said it. Although I'm not sure I'm right." Suddenly the scarecrow jumped down and ran over to me, leaping onto me and wrapping his legs around me. "But if you take me with you, I will show you the way." _

"_You don't know where I'm going." _

"_Oh. You're right. Where are you going?" He tilted his head curiously. _

"_I'm going to see the Wizard to see if he can get me home."_

"_Can I go with you? Maybe he can give me a brain," he grinned and I couldn't help but return it. _

"_Sure."_

_We began walking down the yellow brick road together, the scarecrow's hand oddly comfortable in mine as he chattered endlessly about anything and everything. From how long he'd been on the post to why he needed a brain. _

"_You're the only scarecrow I've ever met that wants to be a doctor."_

"_Probably the hottest scarecrow too, huh?"_

"_Of course," I agreed and gripped his hand. _

_Further on our path, we came across a small cabin in the forest. Across from it, we found a man made of tin, his metal body frozen in mid-swing of his axe. Stopping, Scarecrow and I stared at him, jumping back when we heard him mumbling through rusted lips. Bravely, Scarecrow approached him, examining him closely. I followed behind Scarecrow, ready to protect my new friend if I needed to. Spotting an oil can on a stump near him, I handed it to Scarecrow and he squirted the oil on all the joints of the powerful looking tin man._

"_He's sexy as fuck," Scarecrow whispered. _

_The tin man's joints began to bend and creak and he sighed in relief. "I've been stuck here forever waiting for you guys," Tin Man grinned. _

"_We're off to see the Wizard to see if he can get Jasper home and me a brain, do you want to come with us?"_

_The man thought, and then nodded. "I could use a heart. Mine hasn't worked since it was broken years ago." _

_Scarecrow pressed his body to the tin man. "Do all your other parts work?"_

"_Um, I think so," Tin Man blushed. _

"_Maybe we can find out later," Scarecrow winked. _

"_Come on," I sighed, pulling on Scarecrow's hand and peeling him off Tin Man. "Let's go."_

_While we walked, Scarecrow sang and danced and flirted with Tin Man, tossing hay all over him. Night had fallen and blackness surrounded us. Scarecrow walked between me and Tin Man, holding both our hands. _

"_So, Tin, what do you like to do?"_

"_I…I don't know," Tin Man stuttered. "Chop wood?"_

_With a frustrated sigh, Scarecrow turned to me. "What about you?"_

"_I like blowjobs," I answered honestly. _

"_Me too! What else?"_

"_Hand jobs."_

"_Me too! What else?"_

"_Fucking."_

"_Oh my," Tin Man trembled. _

"_I like blowjobs, handjobs, and fucking," Scarecrow repeated. _

"_Oh my" Tin Man quivered. _

"_Blowjobs, handjobs and fucking," I chanted. _

"_Oh my."_

_Hand in hand, we began to skip down the yellow brick road, singing, "Blowjobs, handjobs, and fucking, oh my."_

_We were just starting to get breathless when a lion jumped out in front of us. He was handsome and regal and had the most unique shade of chestnut fur and mane. He growled at us and we came to a stop. _

_And laughed. _

_Frowning, he tilted his head. "Aren't you scared?"_

"_Of you?" Scarecrow giggled. "Why are you trying to scare us anyway?"_

_The lion sighed. "Because I'm afraid of everything and scaring others makes me feel better."_

_Dropping our hands, Scarecrow skittered up the lion and pressed himself close, his hands running through Lion's thick mane. Lion purred under his touch, completely still as Scarecrow fussed over his fur. Scarecrow looked at me. _

"_He's beautiful. Can he come with us?"_

_I glanced at Tin Man, who had moved closer to me and was holding my hand. When he finally nodded, I turned to Lion. "We're going to the see the Wizard to see if he can give Scarecrow a brain and Tin Man a heart, maybe he can give you courage."_

"_Then we're going to have a threesome," Scarecrow said, bouncing eagerly._

"_A foursome now," I corrected him. _

"_See, this is why I need a brain."_

_Overwhelmed, Lion looked at us all. His eyes fell appreciatively over Scarecrow, warily on Tin Man, and then arrived to me. His whiskers twitched as he stared at me. I felt an incredible need to step forward, to be closer to him. It was like he was a magnet and he was drawing me in. Scarecrow was loyal and adorable, Tin Man was smart and sexy, but Lion…there was something about him that captivated me. _

"_Okay," he finally agreed. _

_Scarecrow grabbed his paw and yanked him over to us. Lion took my hand and we both jumped back. Eyeing me, he held his paw out again and I took it. Another spark shot through us, but instead of letting him go, I gripped his furry paw tighter, determined to keep him safe by my side and give him some of my courage. _

"_Ready?" Scarecrow asked squishing himself between me and Tin Man and taking our hands. As soon as we took our first step, he began singing again. _

_I'd met three very strange friends, but I had the distinct feeling that we would be lifelong friends. Lion kept looking at me, turning away when he got caught staring. Scarecrow kept hitting on Tin Man, asking him if he'd remembered to bring his lube with him. _

_Walking along the road, holding their hands, I didn't care if I ever got to Oz. I didn't care if I never got home._

_Maybe I was already home. _

My eyes shot open and I wiped at my cheeks, feeling them damp from the tears I'd shed in my sleep. Peter was behind me, his arm holding me protectively.

Maybe I was already home.

Maybe I was supposed to be with Peter all along. Maybe Edward wasn't my forever.

But if that were true, then why did my chest ache with each breath? Why were my dreams filled with images of him? Why, when I was in Peter's arms, did I still long to be someone else's? They were all questions someone like me, someone inexperienced in love, couldn't answer. Or wanted to avoid asking.

I went to reach for Peter's hand, only to find mine was already threaded with his. I'd been holding his hand in my sleep like I had in the dream.

_Maybe I was already home. _

The dream plagued me and I wondered what it all meant, if anything. Sighing, I gave up on sleep and stared at the wall for the rest of the night.

Daylight was streaming viciously through the bedroom windows, cutting across the end of the bed before Peter stirred behind me. Never once in his sleep had he loosened his hold on me. It was as if he was trying to make sure that I didn't leave him during the night.

"Morning, babe," he murmured thickly, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

"Morning."

"What time is it?"

"A little after seven," I answered, glancing at the clock.

"No time for sex, huh?" He thrust his morning erection into my backside for effect.

"You've got a nine o'clock meeting, but if you get up and in the shower…." I let him fill in the blank.

After one more kiss to my neck, he released me and rolled out of bed. Extending his hand to me, he smiled. I sat up and took it, letting him pull me up before I willingly followed him into his master bathroom. There was enough room in his shower stall for us to make love, and after our bodies were slippery with soap, that was exactly what we did. He dug his fingers into my hips and slammed his cock into me until we both came. Clutching each other in a lathered haze afterward, he kissed me.

"That was worth being late for," he smiled before rinsing us both and turning off the water.

Turned out we weren't late. After quickly getting dressed and skipping breakfast, we were at work with time to spare. On his way to his meeting, Peter asked Cassie to order some breakfast for us and twenty minutes later, I was eating fruits and pastries in my office.

It was a life I could get used to.

At noon I popped into Peter's office to see if we were doing lunch. "Of course," he grinned. "Your choice."

We ended up at Indian restaurant I had grown to like. Sitting at a table for two near the window, I watched people walk by us, none of them noticing the two men holding hands. Peter told me about his meeting, teasing me when I got frustrated over the end result. He shook his head, his thumb stroking the back of my hand.

"What?"

"Not that I ever doubted you, but it's nice to see how easily you've taken to the job. I know you were worried about doing it and fitting in."

I stared at our hands, joined, clasped, holding softly. "How did you know?"

"I could see it in your eyes. You were worried they would all know what you did before this. You felt unqualified, but you've proven yourself wrong."

"I have?"

"There's nothing you can't do," he answered indirectly. I pulled my eyes from our hands and brought them to his aqua ones, so full of love. Before it got too serious, he changed the subject. "You're seeing Riley today, right?"

"Yes, at two. I still can't believe he looks so…."

"Healthy," he supplied.

"Yes. He's gained weight."

"He's probably finally at the weight he's supposed to be. I'm going to stop by day after tomorrow."

Finished with our meal, we got into the car and Peter's driver brought us to the office where Peter kissed me goodbye.

"Why don't you just head over now, spend some extra time with him," he said as he broke the kiss and got out. "I'll see you when you get back. Tell him I said hi."

"I will, thanks," I smiled.

"Love you," he said as he closed the door.

I watched him walked through the lobby doors as the car pulled away from the curb. Just as the door swung closed, he glanced at me one last time over his shoulder and in that instant, something told me he would always be glancing over his shoulder for me.

I kept telling myself it wasn't wrong. I was where I needed, where I should be. I refused to wonder if I was forcing us both to live a lie. I had dragged him into my world, and he had saved mine by pulling me into his. How could I not be with him after all he'd done for me? But I honestly didn't stay with him out of guilt, I wanted to be there, I wanted to make love to him and wake up with him.

I just wanted to do those with someone else more.

Peter and I weren't the only thing on my mind. Riley was due to be released in a month and had no place to go. While I had more than enough money to get him his own apartment, I knew he wouldn't fare well being alone. If there was ever a social creature, it was Riley. He thrived best when surrounded by people, even if he didn't know them, even if they were johns or the scum of the earth like James, Riley needed people. If he was alone, the urge for the drugs would quickly lure him back. No, Riley definitely couldn't be alone. I would have to move out of Peter's and move into a place with Riley. Peter wouldn't be happy about it, but he would understand, probably even encourage it. Being in separate apartments didn't mean Peter and I couldn't still be together.

The car stopped and my door was open before I even realized we had pulled up in front of rehab. I thanked Peter's driver as I got out and walked up the steps leading to the large wooden doors, preparing myself for Riley's greeting. Walking in, I found him sitting on a piano bench, his back to the piano, his knees bouncing up and down, his body tight and thrumming as energy hummed around him.

"Angel," he yelled as he jumped up and bounded to me. With a well timed leap, he was in my arms, his legs around my waist, his arms around my neck. Immediately, my hands went to his ass to support his weight.

"Sweetheart, you need to lay off the donuts if you expect me to hold you up."

Laughing freely, he kissed me and I walked us out the back door to the patio. Once I lowered us into a chair, he shifted his weight so he was straddling my lap, his knees on either side of my thighs. His lips worked their way along my jaw and back again, stopping a few times to press tightly to mine.

"So how are you?" I mumbled into the kiss. Sighing, he pulled back and put his forehead to mine.

"Okay, I guess." He shrugged. "I'm not fan of these fucking steps though."

"I know, sweetheart."

"They just don't get it. I mean, I can't be the only one here that doesn't believe in God, can I?"

"I don't know."

He sighed heavily. "Speaking of steps, I need to talk to you." He settled more comfortably in my lap. "Dr. Dolan might try to make me do this at family therapy with you, but I want to do it privately because…it's private, ya know? Just between you and me."

"What is it?"

Taking a deep breath, he looked intensely into my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Riley, you've got nothing to be sorry for," I said, denying his apology.

"Just listen to me for a minute." Soft fingers ran over my lips. "I'm sorry for all the shit I've done to you, to us. I'm sorry for using the money you gave me for food to buy drugs. I'm sorry for when were on the streets and I promised I would return with food, but came back with a few rocks instead. I'm sorry I didn't look out for you on the streets as much as you looked out for me."

"But you did, Rile. The only reason I survived that first year was because of you."

"Yeah, well, maybe, but you would have eaten better if I wasn't an addict," he argued.

"It doesn't matter. If you need me to accept your apology for you to complete your step, I will, but I don't need it."

Biting his lip, he murmured thanks and let his eyes drift away to look at something over my shoulder. He stayed like that for a few moments, his fingers toying with the ends of my hair while mine rested on his hips. He smelled clean, his jeans and tee shirt were clothes Peter and I had bought for him and they fit perfect. The light breeze moved a few strands of his hair in front of his face and I reached up and tucked them behind his ear.

We weren't done.

There was more he needed to say, he was just working up the courage to tell me what it was. Patiently, I waited for him to be ready.

"There's more," he finally mumbled, his eyes still focused away from mine. Again, I waited until he was ready. "I love you, Jas. I think I have for a long time, I just didn't know until I was in that alley. When they were…when they were hurting me, all I could think of was how much I wanted to see you again and tell you I was sorry I didn't listen to you and that I didn't behave and stay at the hotel like you told me to. You were the last person I thought of before I passed out."

"I love you too, Rile." I kissed his cheek closest to me. "And I know you couldn't help going out."

Gnawing so hard on his lip I thought for sure he was going to draw blood, he closed his eyes and exhaled. "And I'm sorry I madeyoustayhere," he rushed out.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I made you stay here," he repeated slowly, opening his eyes. "In Seattle."

"You didn't-"

"I did," he interrupted. "I asked you to not leave me. Then Edward asked you to go to Chicago and you couldn't because of me. Because you'd promised me you wouldn't leave me." His fingers never stopped nervously wrapping tightly around the ends before releasing them and doing it again.

Running a finger down his cheek, I gave him a small smile. "I stayed with you because I wanted to."

"I know you did, but I know you wanted to go to Edward. I know you didn't go because of me, and I let you stay," he said quietly.

"That's not true," I denied sharply. He was trying to take the blame for my decision.

"Oh? Can you honestly say that if I wasn't in your life, if you didn't feel responsible for me, you wouldn't have gone?" My silence was his answer and he nodded curtly. "I didn't think so. Angel, you would have left with him that day, wouldn't you?"

It was my turn to look away. His fucking honest brown eyes were expressing shit I wasn't nearly strong enough to face. Unlike me, he wouldn't let me get away with it and he pulled my chin back to him.

"Tell me," he demanded roughly.

The pull in my chest for Edward that had begun to lie dormant, whose ache I had finally begun to accept and live with daily, reared and sent a piercing pain through me, reopening the unhealed wound. A small gasp escaped me and I yanked my head free of his hold.

"What do you want to hear?" I snarled, pissed he had made me hurt again. It was still too fresh.

"The truth."

"You want to hear that I'm nothing without him? That if you weren't around or had ended up dead, I would be in Chicago right now? That every day that passes, I miss him more and more? That I fear I won't ever love anyone like that again? Is that what you want, asshole?" I snapped quietly.

My words were harsh and cruel and cut deeply, but he didn't look shocked or even hurt. In fact, he looked satisfied, even slightly happy.

"That's exactly what I want to hear, because that makes this next part easier."My lip curled up and I growled at him, but his hands were still in my hair and mine were still on his hips. "I can't take any of that back, but I can try to right a wrong," he whispered.

I sighed and tore my chin from his grasp. I was tired of the talking, of the honest words. I wanted out of there. Just as I tightened my grip on his hips to push him off me, he spoke again.

"I want you to go to him, angel," he whispered softly. Immediately, my eyes shot to his and my fingers loosened their hold.

"What?" I choked out, barely audible.

"You heard me," he smirked. "I want you to go to Edward. It's where you need to be."

"I need to be with you," I challenged.

He raised a brow. "And I love you for saying that, but angel, I can see how much you miss him. Hell, I held you together after he left. Don't deny it. You're sitting here in a custom tailored suit with a silk tie and expensive shirt, and yet, you still look like complete shit. You're pale, there are circles under your eyes no amount of makeup would ever cover. Fuck, you looked better when you were homeless." Cupping my cheek, he held my watery gaze and sighed. "Angel, there's no life in your eyes anymore. You're dead inside. And I'd be willing to bet any amount of money that Beautiful doesn't look any better."

"I'm with Peter," I murmured, almost as much to myself as Riley.

"Yeah, well you shouldn't be and you know it. It's not fair to either of you. He's not who you want, angel. I think he knows that, he's just denying it."

I shifted uncomfortably under his stare and weight, but he didn't let me move. He wasn't finished with me yet.

"Go to Edward. Be with him, live with him, love him. Please, angel."

A tear slid down my cheek as I shook my head defiantly. "No. I said I wouldn't leave you and I won't. You get out in a month. I'm going to get us an apartment so we can live together."

Smiling, he tilted his head and wiped my tear. "That's sounds nice, but I'll be fine. Maybe when I'm done, I can come to Chicago. I don't have anything keeping me here. If not, then…well, I'm sure something will turn up."

"No. I won't do it. I won't break my promise to you."

"You're not. I'm telling you to go. If you're worried about when I get out, I'm sure Peter will check in on me sometimes. I can get a job now that I'm clean and maybe get a place to live. Maybe I can get a hot roommate or something. Might be fun." His words were full of shit. He had lived in the real world, he knew that any job he could find would never pay him enough to support himself. But he was telling me the lie to get me to leave.

I started trembling and he soothed me with a few light kisses, promising everything was going to be okay and that I had to go.

"This isn't easy, angel. Trust me, I don't want you to go, but you have to. For me, for Edward, and for you. Will you at least think about it?"

Exhaling a shaky breath, I nodded. I could tell him I was going to think about it, but I wasn't going to. The conversation was over, my decision was made.

I wasn't going anywhere.

"What makes you think that Edward would still want me? That he hasn't moved on?" I asked, feeling confident that Riley wouldn't be able to challenge it.

"Trust me, angle, he most definitely has not moved on. Maybe in three years, but not in three months."

"You don't know that," I snapped.

"Not in the technical sense, no, but I know it as well as you do. Angel, love like what you and he had doesn't come around to everyone. It's like the fairytales we used to talk about, remember? How it had to be the prince who kissed the damsel? He was the only one who could save her. Well, you're the only one who can save Edward."

_Edward saved me._

"Remember our last night, remember I asked you to make love to me?" Sniffling, I nodded and he continued. "Remember I said that even when you and Beautiful fucked, it was still making love? I saw the love you two have in everything you did that week. I'd seen it before, but I didn't really know what it was until that week. The way you look at each other, the way your bodies just gravitate toward the other. You don't even realize you're doing it, it just happens. It's sickeningly sweet, but kind of cute."

I almost chuckled, but it felt wrong when I could taste the salt of the tears rolling over my lips.

"He needs you like air, angel. It killed him to leave just like it killed you not to go. Don't spend the rest of your life regretting not going to him."

Riley was an addict. Riley was a hooker. Riley was my best friend. He was also honest and insightful.

And right.

I didn't know if the stuff he was saying about Edward was true, but I knew the stuff he said about me was. But it didn't matter if I couldn't go anyway. Regret, pain, heartache…none of it mattered if I couldn't get on that plane. They were emotions I needed to forget, to numb so I could get up each morning. Maybe even make it through the day without feeling like complete shit. It was a survival tactic, but it worked.

Even if what Riley was saying was right, there was still someone else.

"What about Peter?" I whispered and I saw Riley's eyes flash at the name. Given all that Peter had done for him, Riley was protective of him.

"It's going to rip his heart out," Riley murmured. "It will hurt like fucking hell, but it's better than having a relationship with someone who wants someone else."

"I love Peter," I argued.

"Fine, you love him." He shrugged, "but are you in love with him?"

I looked away, the fence behind Riley garnering my attention. "Does it matter? Love is love."

"Angel, I didn't even know what the fuck love was or felt like until you. I'm not an expert and you're my only boyfriend, but I hear people talk about it here and I watch TV. I don't know how, but I think it does matter."

I was quiet and taking in what he had said. While I wouldn't admit it to anyone but him, deep inside, I was actually considering it. He wanted me to go…and I wanted to do it.

But I couldn't.

"Yeah, you can," Riley said. "At least think about it."

Returning my eyes to his, I nodded. After another soft kiss, he climbed off my lap and led me to the door where he squeezed my hand and said he loved me. With those words, I stumbled outside and to the car where I collapsed inside.

Back at the office, I managed to shut the talk I'd had with Riley away and focus on work, but the sinking feeling in my stomach remained all day no matter how distracted my mind might have been. A little after five, Peter appeared in my office, a grin on his face as he stood and waited for me to gather my stuff to head home. He held my hand on the way out. He kissed my cheek as we climbed in the car. He caressed my thigh as we sat in the back seat.

When we got home, we both changed from office clothes and into tee shirts and shorts. Peter grilled some steaks and vegetables while I made a salad. The ease in which we worked together was there, he laughed and teased and I smiled and nodded. We ate outside on the patio. I pretended to eat, but knew if I did, my stomach would only heave the contents back up. Peter furrowed his brows a few times, but never said anything. After the dishes were done, he led me back outside and sat down on a long, cushioned lounger. Parting his legs, he patted between them for me to sit down. He tucked me against his chest, our hands clasped on my thighs as we both stared up into the night sky twinkling with stars.

"Tell me about your visit with Riley?"

The tears started, betraying me, before I could stop them. I had no hope of lying and getting away with it.

"Babe?" he murmured, kissing my cheek. "Is Riley okay? What happened?"

For two months I'd been living a lie. I'd been living someone else's life.

I knew it, and I was pretty sure Peter knew it too.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I felt his fingers move up the back of my hand and stop on Edward's watch. He traced the metal band and crystal face, gently moving the watch side to side on my wrist.

"I know you wear this to remind you of him." He paused and just held my shaking body. Resting his temple against mine, he sighed. "Babe, I don't want to see you unhappy. I never wanted that. I just thought…hoped that you wanted the same thing as me."

"I do," I squeaked out. "I need you, I want you…"

"But you don't love me."

"I do love you," I whispered hoarsely.

"No, you don't," he rasped. "You love him."

Behind me his body tensed, but his hold on me never eased, his fingers were still tangled with mine, his head was still against mine. What hurt more than anything was I wanted to deny his words, I wanted to yell at him and tell him he was wrong, but he wasn't.

I loved Edward.

While I did need and want Peter, I wasn't in love with him. He wasn't my Prince Charming. He was my Tin Man with the huge heart that was breaking right alongside mine.

"It fucking hurts, Jasper. Really fucking hurts to know that while you're here, living with me, sleeping with me, _making love_ to me, the entire time you want to be with him."

"I don't," I mumbled defensively.

"The fuck you don't. Don't lie to me, I deserve more than that," he growled lowly.

As tense as he was, he sighed and his hold on me loosened as he relaxed again. It was as if all he'd been holding in for weeks was suddenly set free, and he began to accept it. Pulling me to him tighter, he released my hand and turned my head toward him. My blurry eyes attempted in vain to focus on his. Blues and greens mingled and swirled together as they welled with tears and one slid down before he could blink the rest away.

"You need to make a choice. You can't give me your body, but give him your heart. I want both. I've always wanted both, I never hid that from you. I'm a patient man, Jasper, but it's time. Who do you choose?" he asked quietly.

How do I choose between two beautiful, intelligent men who loved me? In a side by side comparison, Peter was the clear winner. He was out, he had self made wealth, he was proud to be with me, he lavished me with kindness, tenderness, and love. He had it all. He had everything.

Except one thing.

My heart.

The side by side comparison didn't mean anything when the most important part of me sat in Edward's hands two thousand miles away.

Desperately I wanted to look away, to look at anything but the agony and knowing that was so clear in Peter's eyes. It had been there all along but that we had both chosen to ignore. His firm hold on my chin made sure there was no escaping his pain. Our pain. My lips moved but nothing came out and suddenly he was brushing his over mine, the saltiness of our tears running between our lips. I kissed him back, I parted my lips to let his tongue sweep gently over mine, I angled my head to deepen it even though I knew it was wrong.

Because it was all I knew how to do.

His hand gripped mine as if I was slipping away from him right then.

Maybe I was.

Breaking the kiss, he put his forehead to mine. The air thickened and stilled while he accepted my silence as my answer to his question.

It had broken our hearts, but I had chosen.

"I guess two out of three isn't enough, huh?" he sighed, his breath washing over my face. Closing his eyes, he murmured, "You don't love me, Jasper. You need to go to him."

"I can't-"

"Don't. Don't say it. Because if you do, I will probably break down and beg you to stay with me, to give us more time," he pleaded with a strained voice. "Just go. I love you, I probably always will, and I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I'd hoped that would be with me, but it's not. You need to go to him."

"That's what Riley told me today. He said I need to go, but I can't, I can't leave Riley. I'll move out of your house, but I'm not leaving Seattle. He gets out soon, he's going to need me," I mumbled, our lips so close they were almost touching.

"Don't worry about Riley. I'll take care of him," Peter promised as another tear ran down his face. When I went to speak, he stopped me. "I've invested way too much money and time into him to let him fuck up. He can live here with me. He can have your room. I've got the space and…well, it might be nice to have someone around. This place is too big and quiet for just one person."

I didn't know what to say. Speechless, I just nodded, accepting his offer.

"You've taught me so much, you showed me the power of survival, the strength of a man's will to live, but most importantly you taught me to love again. That it's okay to take a risk, sometimes it pays off." He kissed me before whispering, "I'll miss you, Jasper."

"I'll miss you too," I breathed.

"**~~**"

He tugged on my hand and dragged me out to the patio. It wasn't a normal visiting day, there was no jumping on me when I walked through the door. Riley was perceptive, he knew what had happened. I sat in the chair and he climbed on top of me, glancing around to make sure we were alone.

"You told him?"

"He asked about my visit with you and I lost it. He knew, Rile, he knew I'm still in love with Edward. He knows I'm not happy."

"Aw, angel, what happened?" His fingers were back in my hair, his face only inches from mine, studying me.

"He told me to go to Edward," I sighed.

My eyes were still red and swollen from the tears I'd shed all night. After our talk outside, Peter had led me up to his room where we both stripped and got into bed. There was no sex, barely any kissing, but there was a lot of tears, a few whispered words of love and two bodies touching from head to foot. Sleep didn't happen for either of us, and we opened our un-rested eyes in the same position we had closed them in. There was no shower together, no breakfast. There was Peter on the computer in his office as he booked a flight for me. There was me watching him do it and answering his questions as he booked a car to pick me up. When he asked where I needed the car to take me, I was embarrassed that I didn't know. He asked for Edward's last name, his eyes narrowing when I told him.

"Cullen?" he asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He shook his head, like he was trying to clear it, and then searched for Edward, finding an address for the car to take me to.

"That's C. Cullen," I said, pointing to the screen.

"It's his father's," he assumed.

My things, all the clothes that Peter had bought for me, were already packed and sitting by the door when I walked out of it to get into Peter's car to see Riley.

"And you are…" Riley muttered. "You're leaving."

Holding his gaze, I nodded. "I have to, Rile. I have to see him. If…if he doesn't want me, I'll be on the next flight back, I swear. Then you and I are getting a place together."

"Angel, you know that won't happen."

"Why not?"

"Because there's no way he won't want you. He's waiting for you, don't you know that? He's been waiting since you didn't show up," he replied like I should have known all along.

We were silent for a long time. My eyes held his and I saw a new peace in his chocolate brown I'd never seen before. It was like he was…free.

My whore was free.

In those flecks of amber and gold and wood, I saw a new boy, one who was determined to make a new life. One who believed everything he was saying. He was showing me the new him. The new boy who had emerged from the cocoon of drugs. Riley had wings to spread, and the rest of the world better look the fuck out.

Riley was going to be okay, he was going to make it.

A few more tears escaped my eyes but he kissed them away before they fell over the round of my cheeks. I pulled his new body to me, burying my face in his neck, inhaling the scent of his clean hair and freshly showered body. The outside might have been more polished, but he was still my Riley on the inside, only free of drugs.

He was still my scarecrow.

The one I would miss most of all.

I had no idea how much time passed that we were outside in that chair, clutching each other for life as everything changed in a matter of a few hours. Finally, I lifted my head, no shame in my tear streaked face and kissed him.

"If I don't come back, Peter is going to take care of you. He's got a room at his house all set up for you, he'll get you back to school and get a job," I said as we broke apart.

"Don't take this personally, but I hope you don't come back," he smiled. "That man is F.I.N.E."

Drawing a small smile from me, he kissed me. "I'll see you soon angel. I promise I'll visit. You can't get rid of me this easily."

"Can't keep a good whore down," I said, quoting something he'd told me when I'd first met him.

"Fucking right. Hookers, whores, and best friends, oh my," he sang, then whispered, "Tell Beautiful I said thank you."

"For what?"

"For loaning you to me for a few months when I needed you most," he said softly, wiping a tear. "Now go before my eyes get all bloodshot from crying. It's not a good look for me."

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I know," he grinned. "I love you too."

Releasing my hair, he stood up and took my hands, leading me through the building to the front doors. Suddenly, he stopped in the lobby.

"Teddy."

"What?"

"Teddy. He's in my room, let me go get him."

"No." I yanked his hand back. "You keep him. You need him right now."

"But…"

"When you're done with him, you can send him to me," I compromised and he tilted his head, thinking about it. Finally he nodded and we went to the doors. The car sat idling for me out by the curb, the driver stood by an open back door.

"Nice ride," Riley said, motioning to it. "Is the driver hot?"

"Didn't notice."

"What kind of whore are you?" Riley gasped. He held my hands and looked up at me. "So I guess this is it, huh?"

I flung myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burrowing onto the bend of his neck.

"I can't say goodbye," I sobbed. He clung to me, holding me to him every bit as tightly as I was him.

"Me either," he murmured in my ear. "But goodbye doesn't mean forever. You know no matter where you are, you still have my heart, angel. Go to him. Be his air again and let him breathe."

Forcing my head up, he kissed me. Hard and soft, eagerly and regretfully, passionately and lingering. Our tongues met and retreated and met again. Finally, he loosened his hold on me.

"Go before I change my mind," he whispered in my ear. "Thank you for being my best friend. I love you, angel. Go find your happily ever after, live it for the both of us. You deserve it."

Nodding, I wiped the tears from his cheeks, kissed him one last time and then pulled away, holding his hand for as long as I could as I descended the stairs to the car. Our fingertips lingered on each other until I took that one last step and separated from Riley.

With a wet face, I walked to the car. The back door was opened and waiting for me. I turned to Riley one last time before getting in, giving him one more chance to stop me.

He didn't.

He nodded and mouthed, "Love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart," I murmured so quietly I was sure he didn't hear me.

In the car, I stared and waved out the window as we pulled away, leaving Riley standing on the steps alone.

Without me by his side for the first time in two years.

I didn't see anything through the tears as the car went through the city, eventually pulling up in front of Peter's. He was on the porch with my bags by his feet. Lifting them, he carried them down the steps to the car. The driver got out and opened the trunk. I heard the thump of my bags as they were put inside, then my door opened and Peter got in next to me. Seconds later, we were on the highway heading for the airport.

Peter's hand was in mine the entire way.

The airport was crowded when we arrived. Parking, the driver got out and opened out door before popping the trunk and setting my bags on the curb.

"I'll wait in the car," he said.

"Let's get your bags checked," Peter said, picking one up.

"I can do it," I replied with confidence I didn't have.

"I know you can, but I want to see you off."

I picked up my other bag and let him led me through the maze of people to the counter where we showed my ticket and ID and they took my bags. My duffle bag, without Teddy, remained on my shoulder.

"Can you get to your gate okay? It's about half way down that hallway. If you have any problems, ask someone," Peter said, still taking care of me.

"I will."

He stopped in front of the security I was going to have to go through. "This is it. I can't go past here."

Without asking, I threw myself at him, knowing he would be there to catch me because that's what Peter did.

He caught me.

My arms wound around his neck, toying with his hair as I pressed my lips to his one final time. Strong arms embraced me around my waist, holding me to him as he returned my kiss with equal fervor. It was everything a kiss should be, it was our past and our present. It was full of love and all that we had shared with it.

Tearing my lips from his, I hugged him. "Take care of Riley for me, please."

"I will, I promise. He'll be fine. He's a strong boy," he vowed as he forced some space between us. "Now go. Let me know when you've landed. You've got the address of the office building, Cassie already set everything up, just call her once you're settled and let her know where the driver should pick you up. Your office will be ready when you get there. If you need anything, I'm only a phone call away."

"Thank you, Peter. Thank you for everything, I don't know where I would be without you, I probably wouldn't even be alive," I said softly, looking right into those beautiful eyes that rivaled the colors of any ocean.

"You're welcome."

Pulling him back to me, I crushed my lips to his before moving mine to his ear. "I do love you," I murmured.

I felt him nod against me. "I love you too, Jasper. Always."

Releasing him, I took a step backwards, holding his gaze for a few seconds before turning and making my way through security. Once I was on the other side, I picked up my bag and turned to look for Peter, expecting him to be gone.

But he wasn't.

Standing with people between us, he gave me one last smile and a wave. The only thing that gave him away were the tears rolling down his face.

My body was wretched with pain as I stared at him until it was time to walk away.

To walk to Edward.

Once I finally had the strength to turn, I was sprinting down the wide corridor. If didn't run from Peter, I knew I wouldn't be able to leave.

"**~~**"

"Can I get you anything, sir?" the flight attendant asked as she stood next to my seat in first class.

Looking up at her, I shook my head. "No, thank you," I replied.

She gave me a polite smile and moved to the person behind me. Resting my head against the seat, I let it loll to the side and looked out the tiny window next to me. We were above the clouds that normally hovered over Seattle and the sun was shining brightly. It was faint, and maybe entirely in my imagination, but I swear in the distance I saw a rainbow.

For the first time in months, I smiled.

And meant it.

"*~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Hardest chapter ever…

One more and the epilogue.


	38. It's a Wonderful Life

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- This is it, the last chapter of M&A before the epilogue. Those familiar with the one shot might recognize bits of it in here. I originally posted I didn't think tissues were needed, but after many reviews and tweets telling me how wrong I was, I will change to a 'tissues may be needed' warning.

I will say, I was so fucking proud of Edward through this entire chapter, he owned me for all 26k words. I hope you all feel the same way.

Thank you to everyone that has read, reviewed, alerted and fav'd this story.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

Jasper and I.

We could have it all.

Lifelong love and the happily ever after that goes with it. But life doesn't always fucking work out like we want. I've said it before, what we need and what we get are often worlds apart. Instead of being in my apartment holding Jasper and watching "The Wizard of Oz", I was standing at an outdoor fish market waiting for Spencer to figure out what the fuck he wanted for dinner.

His brows furrowed as he studied the choices of whole fish, shrimp, and urchins laid out in messy rows on ice. At the end of the sections of fish were Styrofoam coolers, the kind someone might use for a picnic, only these were dirty and worn. Each one was filled about half way with water and had hoses in them providing some kind of filtration. The coolers contained live crab, eel, and octopuses. No one could complain about the freshness because if you ordered one, they would take it out and kill it right in front of you. Across from coolers was what appeared to be a drying rack, only instead of clothes there were sliced fish speared through the tails hanging from the thin poles. Next to the racks were huge full-sized tunas lying on a plastic tarp on the floor.

"What do you want?" he asked me absently as he continued to look them all over.

"I don't care," I said flatly, shrugging without bothering to glance at the piles of dead fish.

Ignoring me, he pointed to a long, brown fish on the end and then spoke Japanese to the old man standing behind the display. The worker replied, speaking fast and hastily. I had no fucking idea what he said, but I had feeling he was telling Spencer to hurry up and make a fucking decision. I knew that was what I was thinking.

Spencer winkled his nose and looked at his next option. "Don't they have any normal fish?" he mumbled under his breath. "Like trout."

We'd just left the office and Spencer announced he wanted to cook dinner at the apartment instead of going out. I didn't give a fuck either way. It wasn't like I was going to eat anyway. Sweat rolled down my face and nape of my neck, sneaking under my collar. Even with my coat off and draped over my arm, I was hot. The weather was much warmer than Chicago, and the humidity was damn near suffocating.

Next to me, Spencer stood in his suit, and with the exception of a slightly loosened tie around his neck, he looked as crisp as he had when we had left for work that morning. Even after being in Japan for almost two months, Spencer woke up excited every morning, like a kid at Disney World. Scruff shadowed his jaw from the almost ten hour day we'd both put in at the office, and I probably had another few hours of work to back at the apartment. Not that I minded. The twenty hour days kept my mind busy, leaving little time for me to think of him.

And about how much my life fucking sucked.

Spencer asked the worker one more question before finally deciding on a thin, silver fish. Relieved, the short man dressed in his rubber apron and grabbed the fish Spencer pointed to and slapped it on a bloody wooden table behind the counter. With no hesitation, he took a large butcher knife and lifted it, slamming it down on the fish and decapitating it. He casually pushed the head off the table into a bucket filled with various other heads from former victims. Once the head and tail were gone, he switched knives and began slicing the fish down the middle of its stomach. When the insides were exposed, I turned away.

The first time I'd seen it, it'd made me gag, and pretty fucking thankful I lived in a country that had regulations on how food was sold. I would never mind waiting in line at the grocery store in Chicago ever again, happily standing there with my saran wrapped meat and fish. I'd barely gotten used to the heat in Japan, but I would never get used to the food.

Spencer, on the other hand, watched with a morbid curiosity. When he saw my raised brow, he blushed. "What? Just admiring their skill."

"No wonder you're so cutthroat in the business," I commented quietly before wandering off to the fruit market across the wide roughly paved aisle. The old, petite woman behind the stacked boxes of fruit spoke to me, but I just shook my head and said what I hoped was 'I don't speak Japanese.'

It was just about the only phrase I'd picked up, and one I used often. Since practically stepping off the plan, Spencer hadn't left my side, translating everything from cab rides to ordering dinner or negotiating prices at the markets.

Instead of answering her next question, which I think was an attempt at English, I picked up two nashis I'd discovered I liked. After seeing raw, freshly butchered meat and fish the first time we wandered into the market, I had decided that fruits and vegetables were the way to go. Spencer eventually convinced me to eat meat again, but only after he cooked it. I refused to eat from the vendors selling various soups and fried things on the street. I had no desire to try crickets, cockroaches, or bull testicles. He said if I didn't know what it was, I might actually like it. When I glared at him, he held up his hands in a no surrender motion and took a step back.

The woman put the nashis in a small paper bag and I handed what I hoped was enough money. Most of the larger, popular stores, restaurants, and hotels had most things in both languages, but the free standing outdoor markets were as pure Japanese as one could get.

Much like the dead fish on ice, I was definitely a fish out of water, but unlike my apartment in Chicago, there was nothing in Japan that reminded me of my broken heart. Nothing except the constant piercing pain in my chest I'd grown accustomed to ignoring. Waking up each morning was like pulling a scab off a wound. It had to be done to expose the healing flesh underneath, but you knew it was going to hurt like hell when you did it. I wandered to the end of the fruit stand and was faced with buckets of flowers in every color imaginable. My eyes skimmed over the vibrant blues and purples and yellows and quickly settled on the red and white flowers. A short breath caught in my throat and I forced it away.

It was pretty fucking sad when just looking at the colors of flowers was enough to send me reeling.

Just as I spun around to return to Spencer, I found him standing there holding the fish loosely wrapped in white paper.

"Do they not believe in sanitary conditions?" I huffed, motioning to the exposed ends of the fish. He glanced down, then shrugged.

"It's not like everyone around is sick or something," he tried to reason.

"Yeah, but if they were, they'd be coughing all over our dinner."

Sighing, I looked down the center aisle of the markets. People were everywhere, mostly Japanese, but there was the occasional American or European. It seemed they were all rushing to get somewhere, work or home or a meeting. There was shouting and laughter and bargaining. Woman dressed in business suits stood next to younger ones dressed in outrageously styled clothing. One thing I had seen all throughout the city was the insane fashions for the teenagers. Bright neon colors with crazy haircuts dyed to match.

We walked by a few markets with more fruit and fish when I stopped suddenly. Spencer almost rolled his eyes when I left his side and headed for the small rack of postcards just inside a souvenir shop. Biting my lip, I spun the rack, searching for just the right one. There were cards with the fashion, the skyline during the day and at night, the floating fountains, and the castle that stood protected by huge stone walls. I'd seen most of them before, but I looked anyway in hopes of finding a new one.

Spencer joined me. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"What?" I asked innocently, keeping my eyes on the postcards.

"Nothing," he muttered.

I could tell him, as I had before, that I was buying them for my parents and sister, but he knew as well as I did, I'd never sent any back to my family. In fact, I'd never sent any of them to anyone.

But I still bought them.

Settling on one of the floating fountains lit up at night, I paid the man behind the counter and stuffed the card in my briefcase.

Nudging my side, Spencer commented on a guy standing at the next store over. "He's hot, huh?"

"I guess so," I said, barely giving the guy a once over.

Spencer sighed. He was used to my indifference by now, especially after living together for the past few months.

"Ya know, some day you will smile again, Edward. This won't last forever," he said softly.

I was tempted to put my head on his shoulders and accept the comfort he was offering, but as quickly as the desire hit me, I pushed it aside. I wasn't that person anymore, I was stronger now. Harder. Colder. Lonelier.

Regardless of the new me, I couldn't stop myself from mumbling, "Then why does it feel like it will?"

"Because it's raw and fresh. Time heals all," he reminded me.

"You keep saying that, and I keep waiting, but it's not working," I acknowledged. It was the most I'd spoken about how I felt in weeks. Typically if the subject was brought up, I ignored it or told him to fuck off and leave me alone. Rarely did I indulge him and actually speak of how hurt I was.

I followed him through the crowds, apologizing in English when I bumped into a few people. It was amazing how many people fit in one small area. When we reached the end, we turned toward our hotel and waded through the mass of people. The office provided a car to pick us up every morning, but we usually walked home because we would end up eating out or stopping at the market along the way.

"I've got some rice, ninjins, and pimans at home, sound good?" Spencer said while we waited to cross a street.

It all sounded find except for the home part.

He and I weren't going home, we were going to our apartment, one we shared, one that had our clothes and personal items strewn all over it, but it was hardly home. It wasn't my home.

Although I would much rather be in an apartment in Japan than at my real home.

"Sure," I nodded.

Night had fallen and the skyscrapers and buildings we passed were lit up with bright signs and ads. If it wasn't for them being in a different language, I could have mistaken the street for one in New York City. My briefcase weighed heavy in my hand as we shuffled along with the crowds. Spencer had his slung over his shoulder with a strap, freeing his hands to carry the fish.

"Did Marcus say the meeting tomorrow was at eight?" Spencer asked as we stepped on the sidewalk and turned down the last street for our building.

"Yes, Mr. Sato is sitting in on it as well."

We were quiet for the remainder of the walk, and when we reached the building, I held the door open for Spencer. After entering the elegant lobby, we got onto the elevators, getting off at the top and going down the hall to the black door on the end. Marcus and his assistant Thomas were in smaller apartments next to each other on the floor below us. We had the option of rooming separately, but I had offered to live with Spencer in a bigger apartment to save the company some money, thinking maybe having company would serve as a distraction for me, and Spencer certainly didn't mind. After unlocking the door, I pushed it open and let Spencer by.

"Home sweet home," he said as I kicked the door closed. "I'm going to get dinner started.

Setting my briefcase down, I tossed my jacket on the back of the couch before plopping down on it. The apartment was certainly nice enough, spacious and clean and the outside walls were almost all glass, overlooking the colorful city below. Every piece of furniture was streamlined and color coordinated and sat on a shiny wood floor. The living room was a mixture of whites and tans with some ebony accents tossed in. Spencer's bedroom was dark wood with olive green curtains and linens while mine was the same dark wood with gray linens. The lightening was subtle and often hidden in walls or the ceiling or behind opaque paper shades. There were a couple pieces of artwork on the walls and a few sculptures in the living room, all with a very distinct Japanese flare. The kitchen contained every modern convenience with some technology that had yet to make its way to the States. Our bathrooms were both huge with lots of wood and bamboo and glass.

Getting up off the couch and picking up my briefcase, I walked to the kitchen. "I'm going to shower," I announced, loosening my tie.

Spencer nodded, concentrating on his work of chopping vegetables. Living with him had exposed a lot about Spencer I didn't know, including his ability to cook. I had assumed his silver spoon upbringing had left him clumsy in the kitchen, but I'd been wrong. He claimed the family cook had been nice enough to let him help out as a kid and taught him things his mother thought unnecessary for a man of privilege to know.

Dragging my feet to my room, I dropped my briefcase on my bed and stripped off my clothes, leaving them in a trail on my way the bathroom. The water was almost instantly hot and I stepped into the glass shower stall and under the spray. I used the humid weather as my excuse for taking so many showers, but I didn't take two a day because of the heat.

I took them because it was the only place I could cry and not be seen or heard.

As soon as the heavy door clicked closed, I began sobbing uncontrollably. Every day I told myself I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't shed anymore tears over Jasper. Hell, I was amazed I had any left to shed. But they kept coming from a well of grief deep inside me that seemed to never run dry. I didn't even bother to cover my face anymore, I just let him run down my cheeks. My shoulders shook with the tremors that wracked by body even as I berated myself to stop. The more I told myself to stop, to get over him, the harder I cried.

It was fucking impossible and I knew it.

There would be no getting over Jasper. _Ever._ No matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, he was forever a part of me. No, there would be no forgetting golden waves and blue eyes, or the smile that could light up Seattle. There were days I had to remind myself to breathe, days when I wished I'd never met him. But then I would recall all the times we'd shared, and even if I had known about the excruciating pain I would end up with, I wouldn't have changed a minute of our time together. I hated the man I'd become in his absence, useless, worthless, and weak. I'd left the best part of me with him the day I left, and the rest was destroyed when he didn't come to Chicago.

I stood under the water and cried until there was nothing left. Exhausted, and not looking forward to facing the night ahead, I turned off the water and opened the door. Avoiding the mirror, I quickly dried and put on some cotton pants and a tee shirt. My hair was still damp when I joined Spencer in the kitchen. He'd changed into comfortable clothes and was watching the news on a small television built right into the refrigerator as he stirred food in a wok.

"How can you understand what they're saying?" I asked, sitting on a stool at the island and pointing to the television. "They speak so fast."

"Six years of Asian languages, four of them Japanese," he reminded me with a smile. Then he looked at me, at my face and eyes, and I saw a sadness cross his features along with pity lacing his eyes. I wasn't fooling him about my real reason for taking so many showers. The brave face I put on for the world every day, the one I told myself I was supposed to have, was not the one I always wore in the privacy of the apartment.

"Wow, and I thought my five years of Latin would come in handy," I half chuckled, ignoring the weight of his concerned gaze.

"It's a dead language," he laughed.

"Yeah, but I kicked ass on the SATs."

Shaking his head, he turned back to his work. "Almost done."

It didn't matter if he never finished, I would probably barely eat anyway. Food had no taste, I only ate it because I had to, and I was sick of listening to him bitch when I didn't. I flipped through the newspaper on the marble top but I didn't understand word of it.

"I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come," I told him, scanning the foreign language of marks and dashes. "I would be so fucking lost."

He glanced up as he spooned rice onto square plates. "Takeda would have supplied you with a translator. Probably some cute young thing."

"Just what I would want," I scoffed.

Carefully, he tilted the pan and let the stir fry of fish and vegetables slide onto the rice. It smelled good, and I bet it probably tasted good too, I just wouldn't know it. He pushed my plate toward me and handed me a two chopsticks. After eating at many sushi bars with Emmett, I was pretty skilled at using them. Spencer sat down across from me and began to inhale his food, moaning after his first bite.

"Delicious," he said to himself.

"Definitely," I agreed even though I didn't taste anything as I chewed and swallowed.

He eyed me but didn't say a word. Instead, he chose to talk work, something I knew I could handle. He ate while I pretended to and we talked about the upcoming meeting the next day. The company we were working with was actually bigger than Cullen Pharmaceuticals, but we were working together on a three-way merger to purchase several smaller Japanese companies. It would get us into the Asian market and increase the revenue on Takeda, our partner in the merger. For the most part, everything was going as planned. To date there had been few problems and they had been cleared up quickly. There was less of a language barrier at work, as all the employees spoke English, although sometimes they stumbled over a few words and spoke them with a heavy accent.

Once Spencer and I were done, I cleared the table and placed the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Thanks for dinner, it was very good," I said, pretty sure it had been tasty.

"Thanks," he smiled.

I followed him to the living room, which was one large room with the kitchen and dining room. He sat on the couch and turned on the flat screen hanging on the wall across from the couch. There were channels that aired American shows, and we usually watched those or the Japanese game shows. They always made Spencer laugh. Putting his feet up on the table in front of the couch, he folded his arms behind his head and leaned back.

His hair was still short and styled, and long lashes framed his coco eyes. The white tee shirt he was wearing stretched tight across his chest and arms as his biceps strained against the cotton. I knew the body underneath the clothing was fit and tight. I knew the strength and desire it possessed. There was no denying Spencer was attractive. He was handsome in the traditional sense with his square jaw and full lips, but also in the contemporary sense with his sparkling eyes and bright smile.

Normally in the presence of someone so good looking, my cock would have at least twitched, but I felt nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. In fact, I hadn't felt anything sexual since the night that…

"I'm going to bed," I said suddenly. Used to my moodiness, he only nodded.

"Night."

"G'night," I said, turning for my room.

In my room, I drew the cloth shades about half way down the windows before picking up my briefcase and going to my desk. Sitting down, I opened my case and pulled out the postcard I'd bought earlier, staring as I held it in my hand. The picture was pretty, glossy and bright. Turning it over, it looked like any other postcard with a place for a short note and then the address and postage on the other side. Putting it face down on the desk, I grabbed a pen and began writing.

_My love,_

_Yet another card I bought for you even though you will never see it. I'm not really sure why I continue do it, but I can't stop myself. Do you have any idea what you've done to me? What a fucking mess I am because of you? No, of course you don't. Part of me hopes you feel as shitty as I do, but then, I wouldn't want to wish this kind of pain on anyone. _

_Each night my heart breaks anew. Each morning it pretends to be healed enough so I can make it through another miserable day. I'm on the other side of the world, and yet everything I do or see reminds me of you. How is that possible when you are there and I am here? Sometimes I wish you were here, but mostly, I wish I was there with you._

_I don't think you will ever know how much I hurt. How much I miss you, everything about you. Your touch, smile, voice. Fuck, what I wouldn't give to hear your voice again. I want to hate you so much, but I find myself doing just the opposite. _

_I will never stop loving you. No matter how hard I try, it is just one more thing I fail at daily._

_Yours always and forever,_

_Edward_

I didn't even reread it before sliding the desk drawer open and dropping it in there. It landed on top of the dozens of others that said almost the exact same thing.

I was broken.

It was a therapy of sorts, a way to express my frustration and pain to him even if he would never see them. Closing the drawer, I pulled out my laptop and booted it up. I had a few things to work on, and giving fourteen hour time difference, it was the perfect time to talk with Bella and my father. Bella often scolded me, hearing the exhaustion in my voice, but I ignored her and continued to go over things I needed done. I would work until I was tired enough so when I climbed into bed, I would actually fall asleep and not lay there for hours thinking about Jasper.

I had thought, maybe even hoped, that by going to Japan I would be getting away from everything that reminded me of him. Everything in Chicago made me think of Jasper. My apartment was the most painful, but even around town I would see things and places I had been excited about showing him. I thought Japan would be different. Granted, there were no memories of him in the Osaka apartment except for the ones I carried with me, but every time Spencer and I saw something new or tried something different, my first thought was always how much Jasper would love it.

I continued to work well into the late night. By the time I went to brush my teeth, daylight was only a few short hours away. When I was done, I crawled onto the huge, flat bed and pulled the thin blankets up. Folding my arms under my head, I stared at the ceiling.

It was my typical nightly routine.

After we'd first arrived in Japan, Spencer had tried to get me to go out and enjoy the sights, but I always refused. I didn't care about the tourist attractions. I wanted to wallow in my misery, even if I denied that was exactly what I was going. I was proud of the shell of person I was becoming. Each time I closed another part of myself away, numbing it to the agony I'd suffered, was a small victory I relished.

Eventually sleep would claim me, but until then, the raw wound in my chest burned and ached as it was flayed open by each thought of him, of our past. I pretended it wasn't there, that it didn't daily soak my shirt with blood, but there was no denying the gash in my chest and torn heart beneath it.

The worst had been right after I had arrived home from the airport. After calling Spencer and telling him I would go to Japan, I had quickly hung up, telling him I was driving in traffic so I wouldn't have to answer the questions I knew were coming. I tossed my phone aside and backed out of the space and exited the lot. As soon as I hit the highway, I sped all the way home, moving the small Mercedes in and out of the highway traffic with ease. Silence filled the car, the lack of sound somehow fitting for the emptiness inside me. The hope I'd had at the airport drained, leaving nothing but an unbearable pain in its wake. At my apartment, I parked and went up to my place, dreading walking in and seeing him everywhere. As soon as I closed the door, I tossed my keys on the table and looked around.

The pictures on the piano, the food in the kitchen, the book on the table, the recorded shows on the television. Jasper had never stepped foot into my place, and yet his essence filled every fucking corner.

Striding over the piano, I picked up his framed picture. One of us at the beach. Through blurry eyes, I ran my fingers over his perfect image.

"Why, love? Why didn't you choose me?" I asked him quietly.

I knew why. I wasn't stupid. I knew he'd chosen to stay with Riley because, honestly, Riley needed him more than I did. It was life versus love. There was no comparison, no choice really. Any loyal friend would have made the same decision. But staying to help Riley didn't mean Jasper and I still couldn't be together, even if we had to do the long distance thing longer. I would have done it, more than willingly.

But apparently Jasper didn't want that.

His lack of phone calls and texts pretty much told me that.

Shaking my head, I felt foolish for having believed he and I would work out. That he would have actually showed up at the airport and fulfilled all my stupid, childish dreams. I was acting like some lovesick teenager and not the full grown man I was. For an entire fucking week I had let myself live a lie, knowingly immersing myself deeper into the fantasy I was building for us. If I hadn't been so love struck, I would have seen it in his eyes the day I left. That was goodbye for him, it was in his touch, his kiss, even his words had a finality I had opted to ignore. Then there was the lack of contact.

An escort and a businessman.

How could a smart man like me have believed such a relationship was possible? Jasper and I weren't living the real life version of Pretty Woman. He was right, men didn't pull up in white limos and rescue the damsel in distress. Real life was much crueler.

Real life was finding love for the first time and not being able to keep it.

Clenching my eyes, I let the sobs escape me. There was no sense holding them back, they would find a way out regardless of my efforts. My hands gripped the picture as I openly cried over it, my tears falling onto the glass and smearing our faces.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" I screamed before lifting the picture over my head and slamming it to the floor, feeling a sense of relief as the glass shattered into hundreds of pieces at my feet.

Encouraged, I picked up the next one and did the same, not even pausing to look at it before I threw it as hard as I could to the floor. I made my way through the pictures lined up on the piano, smashing each one before moving to the vase of roses on my mantle. Picking up the heavy crystal, I stepped back and then threw it at the fireplace. Shards of crystal and long stem roses scattered along the brick hearth now darkened from the water in the vase. I spun around looking for the next memory I could destroy. Marching to the kitchen, I opened the refrigerator and pulled out all the food I had bought for him, tossing it all in the garbage. Next was the food on the counters and in the cupboards, his coffee and cereal, even the kind of bread he liked. I put it all in a bag and left it by my door. In the bathroom, I gathered up the toiletries I'd purchased for him; toothbrush, shampoo, body wash, the towels and razors, and put them all in a cardboard box. I dropped the box next to the bag of food and then went to my room where I went into the closet and opened the drawers, refilling the empty spaces with whatever clothing was nearby. By the time I returned to the living room, my hands were clenched at my sides and I was breathless. Turning on the television, I scrolled through and deleted all the shows I'd recorded for him.

There were two things left.

The book was sitting innocently on the coffee table and the movie was in the DVD player. Opening it, I took the movie out and put it in the case and then picked up the book. I didn't even debate on throwing them away. I knew I wanted to keep them, _needed_ to keep them, but I couldn't bear to see them. There were too many memories wrapped in the pages and images. The broken glass crunched under my shoes as I walked to my bedroom and into my closet again. Pulling the ottoman over, I stood on it and grabbed a box from the top shelf. Popping the cover off, I put the book and DVD inside and put the cover back on before pushing the box toward the back of the shelf.

Tears were still streaming down my face. No matter how methodically I had worked my way through my apartment, how many memories I tried to hide, my emotions overwhelmed me. The rooms were silent except for my short, gaspy breaths and sniffles. Entering the living room, my eyes glanced at the broken pictures on the floor and my stomach clenched. Nauseas, I ran to the bathroom, dropping to my knees and waiting for my stomach to hurl its nonexistent contents. Draped over the toilet, I dry heaved for a long time before I finally sat back and wiped my mouth. It was several minutes later before I felt strong enough to push myself up and brush my teeth. Stumbling to my bed, I collapsed on it, wrapping my arms around my middle and hoping it might help stop me from falling apart.

The next day, I got up and dressed for work. Not going in wasn't even an option. I craved the distraction it might offer me, even if it was only for a few seconds at a time. If I was lucky, maybe there would be a minute or two where I didn't see his face or hear his voice. I refused to look in the mirror, to see the physical evidence of his absence on my face. It was something I was going to wear for the rest of my life, I didn't need to see my reflection to know my eyes were puffy and bloodshot and my cheeks were stained. Numbly, I went through my morning routine, proud of myself when I only threw up once before carrying the box and bag down my car.

I pulled up in front of the homeless shelter and got out. Knocking on the worn door with bars on the small windows, I waited until the door opened. A woman greeted me, wiping her hands on a towel. She had flour streaked across her forehead.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, obviously realizing I was dressed a little too nice to be seeking the services she offered.

"I had some things around my place I didn't need, I thought someone here could use them," I said quietly and handed her the box of toiletries and towels and the bag of food.

She was grateful, thanking me many times, even offered me a tour before I left. I felt lighter, not better by any means, but there was a small satisfaction knowing someone would get use of the stuff Jasper wouldn't need. Getting in the car, I glanced up at the sign for the shelter. I'd driven by it in the past, but until recently, I hadn't given homeless teenagers much thought. After hearing about life on the streets from Jasper and Riley, I looked at the sign in a different way. No longer was the shelter an eyesore, a rundown building desperately in need of a paint job and new windows. Now I saw it as a building that provided a safe place for teens, even if only temporarily. Something told me Jasper would have approved of what I did. Not wanting to make a scene, I didn't tell the woman about the three thousand dollar check sitting in the toiletries bag. Maybe it would do some good.

At work, I went into my father's office and asked about Japan. He told me I would be leaving in a week and to find a few apartments to rent in Osaka. It was more cost effective than a hotel given the length of time we would be there. When Spencer arrived an hour later, practically bouncing into my office, he eagerly took over the task of apartment hunting, saying his language skills would come in handy. I closed my office door behind him and sat at my desk. I had one more task to do, and while it was small, it was the most significant.

Pulling out my cell phone, I went to my pictures, and before I could change my mind, I deleted all the images I had of Jasper and me. Then I went to my contacts and scrolled to his name. I stared at it for a long minute, wiping my tears before they had a chance to fall. I keep telling myself it was for the best. If I left him in my phone, I would be tempted to try to contact him again. Maybe for something really big, like his birthday, or maybe for something really stupid, like to tell him how much I fucking missed him. My finger hovered over the delete button for a few seconds before I finally pressed it.

Jasper was gone.

We were no more.

Sighing, I set my phone down and closed my eyes. When Bella knocked, I let her in, but refused to look at her. I knew she was eyeing my disheveled appearance, but I didn't have the strength to explain. Not yet. It was too soon.

The week was spent packing and preparing for Japan. Spencer and I worked closely together and he brokered the deal for our apartment. Spencer, Marcus, Thomas, and I all met with my father daily as we went over the merger in great detail. My nights were spent alone crying myself to sleep. Each night was more excruciating than the one before it. There was no relief in anything I did. He even plagued my dreams with images of us on the beach, happy and excited and in love.

Things I would never feel again.

I tossed and turned, letting anguish flood me and escape in the form of loud, uncontained wails.

A few days later, I boarded a plane for the other side of the world. Marcus and Thomas sat behind Spencer and me in first class. I stared out the little window, looking down at the clouds beneath us, wondering where Jasper was, and if Riley was okay. My heart swelled when I thought about Riley. I would never know if he was in rehab, if he would get clean and become all that I knew he could. I would never see his twinkling eyes or flirty smile as he whispered dirty words to me. It hurt to think about him, but even so, I forced myself to do it, to hope he was okay and getting help. The bruise he'd left on me had faded long ago.

It was the pain on the inside that wasn't going to fade.

Discretely, Spencer covered my hand with his and squeezed it. When I turned to look at him, he gave me a small smile.

"It's going to be okay," he promised.

I didn't believe him, but I nodded anyway.

Then I turned back to the window.

I hadn't given Spencer details on what had happened between Jasper and me. It was too fresh, and I didn't need to see his pity or hear his 'I told you so'.

Our first week in Osaka had been spent learning our way around the city, where to buy food, supplies, and eat out. The four of us were together from the time we got up until the time we entered our apartments late at night. The more comfortable we got with the city, the more we began to go our separate ways, although Spencer was almost always with me. I'd learned a lot about him actually. Since I never talked, he filled up the silence with stories about himself. Turned out not only did he have a knack for languages, he was an accomplished equestrian, had a dual major at Stanford, and had attended a private school prep school on the east coast not far from my beach house. He told me about his first and last real girlfriend and went into graphic details about his boyfriends. He dated women for his parents, but had no interest in them. The leering looks he gave Bella and others were simply habit learned from the years of pretending to be straight.

We commiserated over the closet we were both in.

The days were busy with work and meetings at our temporary offices at Takeda. At night, I worked even more, often until three or four in the morning. If I didn't have much work to do, I found some, going over papers and notes until my eyes were closing.

Before I knew it, a month had passed.

Then two.

The ache in my chest had lessened, but never went away. The second I let him drift into my thoughts, there were would be a sharp pain, sometimes stealing my breath and prickling my eyes with tears. Mostly I was able to contain the tears to my showers, where I would let them fall freely.

"Edward?"

Opening my eyes, I turned my head to find Spencer standing the doorway to my bedroom.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." The lie had gotten easier and easier to tell. Maybe someday I would even believe it.

"Sure you are," he scoffed, shaking his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I accused, hardening my eyes.

"Nothing, forget it," he sighed. "Just know that you're not fooling me. Not with the postcards, the showers, the lying awake at night…"

Swallowing, I averted my eyes. I shouldn't have been surprised he knew, we were living together, he was by my side almost twenty-four seven. I had just thought I was hiding it better than I was. Without asking for permission, he crossed the almost empty room and sat on the edge of my bed and looking at me. I didn't bother to pull up the blanket to cover my bare torso. It was dark, but I could clearly make out his features.

"I know you're still hurting, Edward. I know it's going to take time, but you need to let him go. Time can't heal the wounds if you keep reopening them," he said quietly.

"Since when did you get philosophical?" I rolled my eyes, trying to brush off his comments.

He shrugged. "I'm not. I just don't like seeing you suffer, so lifeless. You're like a dead man walking."

I wanted to deny his words, sit up and tell him he had it all wrong. I was fine, I wasn't suffering or lifeless, but we both knew I would be lying. Spencer was observant and whatever breakdown I'd been trying to hide, he'd discovered.

"I can't help it," I finally sighed.

"I know, but you can try harder."

Didn't he know I was trying? I was desperately trying.

"How?"

"Go out with me tomorrow night. Let's go out to Minami for dinner and hit a dance club. It's Friday, we won't have any meetings on Saturday. Before you say no, it's not a date or anything, I just want to get you out of this damn apartment."

Minami was the entertainment district in Osaka. Anything you wanted to do could be found there, restaurants, movies, dancing, and more stores than I'd ever seen in one place. We had been there a few times when we'd first arrived. Spencer had purchased a few souvenirs for his family, and I had done the same, picking out some strange fashion pieces for Alice. I knew she would love seeing the Japanese styles.

While I didn't fully believe moving on was possible, or that going out to eat and dancing would alleviate the ache, I decided to appease Spencer and nodded. Maybe if I went out with him one night he would leave me alone for the next few weeks. We still had about a month's worth of work left to do.

"Great," he smiled and patted my leg. "I think it will do you some good."

I was silent as he got up and walked to my door. Turning, he gave me another hopeful smile and left.

My eyes were still open when the sun began to filter through the heavy blinds. Rolling onto my side, I groaned and buried my face into the pillows. I didn't want to face another day without Jasper.

But it was something I needed to get used to.

Eventually.

"**~~**"

Even though I was freshly showered, I still felt sticky. The polo shirt I'd changed into before we'd left was already clinging to my back. At least my slacks were lightweight. Spencer walked next to me, occasionally tugging on my arm when I went too slowly for him.

"Come in here with me," he said, pulling me into a jewelry store. Obediently, I followed, staying by his side as he walked around and looked at watches and cufflinks.

After work, our driver had brought us home and we both showered before heading out to Minami. We had invited Marcus and Thomas to go with us, but Marcus wanted to stay in and Thomas was going to call his wife. When he winked at us, we both knew he was going to do more than talk with her.

I leaned against a jewelry case while Spencer tried on a watch. As he held his arm out to admire the watch against his tanned skin, I did the same. He really was a handsome man. Why couldn't I feel something for him? Someone who worked in my field, who understood the pressures of family. If I wasn't hurting so badly, if it had been another time, Spencer and I wouldn't be standing in a jewelry store, we would be fucking like bunnies at the apartment. We had three months to be ourselves. Other than when we were with Marcus and at work, Spencer and I could talk freely about our sexuality.

We could easily fuck and no one would know.

"What do you think?" he asked me, lifting his arm for me to inspect.

"It's beautiful," I agreed. He looked back at the salesperson and spoke in fluent Japanese. When he handed over his credit card, I knew he'd bought it.

We left and Spencer guided us to a restaurant where we were seated and ordered dinner. I sipped my tea and eyed the man across from me.

"What?"

"Have you ever thought about coming out?" I asked him suddenly.

He leaned back in the booth and sighed. "Sure, who hasn't?"

"What stops you?"

"Same thing that stops you, I would assume." When I didn't reply, he continued, "Disappointing the family, the stigma that goes along with being gay in this industry, the fear of being demoted or worse."

"Do you…" I paused, studying my folded hands on the table. "Do you think coming out would be as bad as we imagine? I mean, these are our fathers, our families."

"Who run multibillion dollar companies. Well, yours anyway, mine is just on the board of directors," he smiled, but resigned he said, "I don't know, Edward. Maybe they aren't the evil we suspect they are, maybe it would be so much easier if we did come out, but I'm not sure that's a risk I want to take…for anyone."

"What if you fell in love? What if you had a boyfriend who wanted you to come out?" I challenged.

"Are you hinting about something?" he teased lightly.

"I'm being serious."

"Fine," he exhaled. "I honestly don't know. I've never been in love, I can't imagine feeling so devoted to someone I'd be willing to risk everything I've worked so hard for all my life. I can't think of anyone I would throw that all away for."

It was my turn to sigh, and I did.

Maybe he was right. Maybe the daydream I'd had about coming out was as stupid as my playing house fantasies with Jasper.

"You're not thinking of coming out, are you?" he asked with a raised brow. It was almost as if he was half kidding, until he saw my reaction and his eyes widened. "My God, you are."

"I was. I'm not anymore," I corrected. "I was going to come out for Jasper, but then…well, things didn't work out."

"Edward, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but you need to live your life for yourself, not him."

"Says the guy who won't come out for anyone," I snapped.

"Exactly," he nodded. "I said I would never come out for someone else, but I never said I wouldn't come out for myself."

"You would?" I asked incredulously.

"Maybe. I just know _if_ I ever come out, it will be for me, not another man. It should be the same for you," he answered quietly.

Our meal was served and we ate, using work to fill in the remainder of the conversation, but his words nagged at me for hours after he'd said them.

After dinner, we left and Spencer led me to a dance club about a block away. At first it was dark and hard to see, but then the lights would flash and reveal all the sweaty, dancing bodies. When I realized they were all men, most of them shirtless, I turned to Spencer and he shrugged.

Leave it to him to have found a gay bar.

"Don't even think about leaving," he scolded and grabbed my elbow to lead me to the bar.

He ordered some fruity drinks for us. Ignoring the men behind me, I pushed the tiny straw aside and downed the first drink and ordered a second. By my fifth, I was letting Spencer pull me onto the dance floor. While our shirts stayed on, we followed the others and danced closely, our hips grinding into each other. His strong hands sitting low on my hips steadied me as I swayed from the alcohol. My arms were slung casually over his shoulders as he moved us to the beat. The techno music, nothing like what my refined tastes enjoyed, and the men weren't my type, but it didn't matter. For the first time in months, I felt slightly lighter, the heaviness I carried around with me daily had begun to ease the clenching it had on my body and soul.

The memories that haunted me faded with each drink I had. The liquor numbed the pain, along with my thoughts. The longer I was in Spencer's arms feeling his hard body pressed to mine, the more I was able to push aside the guilt I felt about being there. I let him hold me close, I let him run his fingers through my hair, I let him tilt my head back and run his tongue up my neck.

I let him do all those things because I couldn't stop him, and part of me wanted him to do those things. I couldn't drink Jasper's memory away, I couldn't deny him with lack of sleep, but maybe I could fuck him out of my system.

"I want you," Spencer murmured in my ear. "I've wanted you so fucking much for so fucking long."

The words were hot. There should have been shivers going down my spine, my cock should have been twitching, I should have been begging to be buried in his tight ass.

"Let me make you feel good," he pleaded as his hand moved to my ass and groped it. Thrusting forward at the same time, he ground our cocks together and moaned.

My dead cock finally stirred to life.

It was weak, but it gave me hope. Maybe I wasn't a lost cause.

I didn't remember nodding, but I must have, because suddenly he was dragging me out of the club and tossing me into a cab. I was only vaguely aware of his hand palming my cock and his tongue in my ear on the way to the apartment. I didn't remember going up the elevator or walking down the hall, but then we were falling into my bed with him on top of me, our bodies urgent for each other. Clumsy, intoxicated hands pulled shirts over heads and undid buttons and zippers of jeans. He rocked his hips as he slated his mouth over mine and kissed me.

I'd thought I would be disgusted by his taste, but I wasn't.

I welcomed his tongue, parting my lips and letting him inside to explore. There were moans and a few grunts, but I couldn't be sure who did what. Before I could stop him, or even wanted to, he was stripping off my jeans and underwear to join his own on the floor. I think my hand was in his hair as he lowered his body down mine until his mouth was engulfing my cock in its wet warmth. A dull pleasure surged through me and my back arched off the bed.

"Fuck," I groaned as he took me deeper and swallowed.

After months without sex, without jerking off, without even being hard, it wasn't going to take much to make me come. I yanked on his hair, warning he needed to stop. He crawled up my body and hovered over me. I tried to focus on his brown eyes, making sure they didn't turn blue in my haze.

"Wanna fuck you…" My voice sounded faint, distant, but there was no mistaking the need behind the words.

"You sure?" he asked as he lowered himself to capture my lips before I had the chance to nod.

Skillfully, he rolled us over and I was on top, lying between his wantonly parted legs. I didn't recall slipping on a condom or watching as he lubed his fingers and readied himself, but I remembered sinking my cock into a tight heat that clamped around me so hard I thought I might come right then.

Slurred words were shared, directions of harder, deeper, faster, and more. We grunted in time with each other, hips thrusting forward and up, meeting in a frenzied need. I held his legs up and away from his body as I slammed into him, watching his ass swallow my cock each time. One of his hands tweaked his nipple while the other went to his length, already slick with his precum. He stroked himself furiously, the timbre of his begging filled the air.

I did just as he asked.

I fucked him hard.

There was a banging and I thought someone was at the door, but I didn't care enough to stop. It wasn't until later I realized it was the bed hitting the wall under the force of my thrusts. He murmured dirty words and I returned them. Sweat ran down my body as I took him. Everything was a blur, meshed together in a drunken fog until he came, his cock erupting onto his firm chest. When I saw it painted with his arousal and his ass tightened its grip on my cock, I cried out.

"Coming," I roared and pounded into him a few more times before my orgasm let loose and rocketed through me. Exhausted, I collapsed onto him, my labored breaths matching his. Shifting my hips, I slowly let my cock slip from him. The last thing I recalled was his lips on mine as he rolled us onto our sides and pressed us together.

A drunken, guiltless sleep overcame me. The body in my arms might not have been the one I had woken up that morning wanting, but he was the one I fell asleep having.

The weight on me was heavy and foreign, definitely not the long arm of Jasper I was used to. The warmth behind me wasn't nearly as hot as Jasper's. My head throbbed as I peeled my eyes open and faced the dreaded day after. Even without his naked body pressed to me or the clothes strewn on the floor as a reminder, I knew we'd fucked the night before. I would have liked to have blamed the alcohol, but I couldn't. Sure, I was drunk when we fucked, but I was aware of what was happening. I could have said no.

But I didn't.

For a few minutes I'd just wanted to feel something besides heartbreak. Spencer was there, he was sexy and wanted me. He was convenient. Honestly, I was surprised it had taken us two months before we'd touched each other.

"You awake?" he asked groggily.

"Yeah," I sighed. He placed a kiss to the back of my neck, but didn't move to do anything further. His arm tightened around my waist.

"It's okay ya know."

"What is?" I asked, still not looking at him.

"What happened last night. I wanted it too," he said softly. "I know it doesn't mean we're together or anything. It was just sex."

I wasn't sure anything would be 'just sex' to me ever again. Not that I imagined Spencer and I walking down the aisle because we'd fucked, but I still felt guilty for taking him, and while it had been primal fucking out of physical need, we'd still breached a path we never should have for a second time. The first had been different and incomplete. The night before had been exactly what we both wanted, and the scent of cum that still clung to the air told me it had definitely been completed. Never again could I look at him and not think about how tight his ass felt around my cock. I hated that I remembered that fact with great detail, how good he felt. How much I liked fucking him hard.

"That being said," he moaned, shoving his hips forward, "I wouldn't be opposed to doing it again right now."

I almost smiled at his persistence. I remained still while he kissed his way along my shoulder. I was all too aware of my own morning erection, something I hadn't had in months. As the hand on my stomach lowered to grip my cock, I debated his words. While the night before could be partially blamed on lowered inhibitions because of the drinking, fucking him in the daylight hours when I was sober could not. If I were to give in to his ministrations, to roll over and shove my dick in his ass like he wanted, I would have no one to blame by myself. The hand on my cock felt good. The lips nipping and sucking my neck felt good. The cock rubbing the crease of my ass felt good.

I reached for the box of condoms sitting on the table and pulled one out.

"Fuck yeah," Spencer groaned before rolling me over and pressing me into the mattress with his weight and a searing kiss.

"**~~**"

"Yeah, that's it, fuck me harder, gorgeous," he groaned, the cords in his neck straining as he neared the edge. "You feel so fucking good. I knew it could be like this."

There was too much talking.

To quiet him, I lowered my mouth to his neck and sucked on his Adam's apple, feeling the vibration of his accompanying moan. My hips never ceased their rhythm as I pumped my cock into him at a rapid pace, striking his gland each time. Between our pressed bodies, his cock erupted and coated our chests in his warm seed. His nails dug into the flesh of my shoulder and his other fisted my hair as his body convulsed beneath me. His strong legs were wrapped around my waist, keeping me inside him as he came. Our mouths met and I tasted his newly familiar flavor, enticing the clenching of his ass to milk my cock. Breathless, I broke the kiss and dropped my head to his chest.

"Come for me, gorgeous, fill me with your cum. Give it all to me, you know I want it," he murmured in my ear. Of course I knew. He told me how much he wanted me all the fucking time, I could see it in his eyes. He never tried to hide his need.

My cock swelled and two thrust later, I was crying out as my cock emptied inside him.

We fell asleep just like that.

And woke in the same position, only I was hard.

After changing the used condom for a clean one, I hooked his legs over my arms and bent him half as I entered him again.

I'd lost count of the amount of times my dick had been buried deep in the heat of his ass. There was so much of his cum on us and the blankets, our entire bodies were sticky. The room reeked of sex and cum and cocks, but neither of us cared. Each time was more intense than the time before. I watched him ride me with abandon, my eyes fixated on his cock as it bounced when my hips bucked up into him. Watching him stroke himself and throw his head back as he came was fucking sexy. I watched him as I fucked him from behind, enjoying the way the muscles in his back rolled under his skin. I watched him grunt under me, his feet on my shoulders as I looked down at his face when he came again and again.

We remained mostly in my bedroom, but there were a few fucks in the shower, one in the tub, and one standing in the hallway when we couldn't make it back to the bed in time.

Spencer gave new meaning to the term power bottom. He took everything I gave and still begged for more.

Each time, I pushed aside everything but the feeling of his fit body against me, his hands in my hair and his tongue prying open my lips. I even began to enjoy his dirty words and indulged him when he pleaded for a spanking. It felt good to hit him, the sound, the feel of his body jolting forward with my cock inside him, and to see his ass turn pink from my hand. I'm sure there was some kind of deep release of my own going on, but I ignored that and focused on the pleasure it brought him.

I wore the marks of our coupling all over my body, kiss swollen lips, angry red lines on my back, and bite marks and bruises on my neck. I didn't have to look to know they were there, I felt them, I felt the guilt that permeated into my blood from them as well.

He was before me on all fours, offering his tender ass for my taking with a slight arch to his back. For the unknown time that day, I eased my cock into his stretched hole, groaning as I pushed past his tight ring until I was balls deep. There was something about the feeling of my balls slapping against him with each thrust that excited me. He must have been hurting from all the fucking, but other than a grateful hiss when I entered him, he never refused my cock wanting his ass. Never even hesitated, and I never asked if it was okay. I would have been almost as happy fucking his mouth and coming on his face, but it was his ass I really wanted. Pounding into him, I clawed at his hips, my eyes taken with the sight of my cock filling him, and bit my lip so hard the metallic taste of blood coated my tongue. With each thrust, Jasper slipped further from my mind, just a few more to go and he would be wiped from my memory.

Half an hour later, we were both still gasping for breath when we fell to the bed. Weakened from his orgasm, his body let go, flattened to the mattress as I continued to slam into him hard and fast until my own climax exploded through me and I bit down on his shoulder to muffle the penitent grunts. I remained on him until my cock softened enough to slip from his hole.

"Jesus, Edward," he said, his voice smothered by the mattress under him. "You're amazing."

I didn't feel amazing. Anything but amazing.

"If we're going to keep this up, I need to run to the store and get another box of condoms," he chuckled.

I think it was mid-Sunday, probably about thirty-six hours since our first fuck, and the box of a dozen condoms was almost empty.

Breathing heavily, I rolled off him and stared at the ceiling. "Well, you better go before the store closes then," I said absently.

He didn't even respond. Even with his sore ass, he bolted off the bed and dressed in record time, promising to be back with a bigger box. The door clicked closed and I dragged myself off the bed. I could at least shower while he was gone.

I turned on the water and stepped under the spray. The tears started as soon as the water hit me and began to wash away Spencer's scent and cum. My body was wretched with guilt and pain and remorse, bubbling out of me in tears and sobs as I slid down the shower wall until I was curled up in a ball on the floor. With my knees pulled up to my chest, I put my forehead on them and wrapped my arms around my legs. The open wound in my chest bled liberally onto the shower floor, rinsing away my grief only to be replaced with a never ending supply of more.

Maybe I couldn't fuck Jasper out of my mind.

It was wrong. Everything was wrong. I wasn't supposed to be in Japan, I wasn't supposed to be fucking Spencer, and I most definitely wasn't supposed to like it.

No, I was supposed to be living my happily ever after with the boy from my dreams all those years ago on the whale rock. I was supposed to be waking up on a lazy Sunday morning in Jasper's arms after a night of lovemaking. I was supposed to be making plans to spend the day with him, maybe a White Sox game before dinner and dancing.

How had it all gone so wrong? How had I fucked it up so badly? All I had wanted to Jasper to come home with me. I was going to come out for him, but the more I thought about that, the more I replayed the conversation with Spencer in my head, the more I realized Spencer was right.

Coming out was something for each person to decide. No one, not even someone you loved, could dictate when the right time was. It was a personal decision, and different for everyone. Just because it was easy for one didn't mean it was easy for another. Riley was a perfect example. His experience was a gay's worst fear, losing their family, friends, their home and all they've known. But he'd done it for himself, to be true to who he was, even if it meant risking his life. Channeling some of Riley's bravery, I slowly began to accept I needed to come out for me, not anyone else.

Not even Jasper.

When I had thought Jasper was going to come to Chicago, I had my entire life planned out, including coming out. But when he didn't show up, I had halted any and all thoughts about walking out of the closet. Moving on was never easy, even casual romances offered a hiccup when they ended, but part of moving on was reclaiming your life back for yourself.

Something I needed to do.

I cried openly until I felt hands on mine, prying them loose from my legs and tugging me upright. I stood there while he dried me and then carried me to his bed. Unlike mine, his was clean with fresh linens. The bed dipped when he lay on it. I felt his clothed body behind me, I felt a blanket covering me, and I felt my tears soaking the pillow under my head.

Time had no meaning, it might have been minutes or hours, but his soothing words and soft sighs never stopped. Neither did his caresses of my hair or the feathery kisses to my shoulder. Each time I thought I had calmed down enough to apologize to him, another round tore through me, sending me spiraling mind over heart into the abyss I'd come to know. Guilt seeped from my pours like beads of sweat as I lay in my lover's embrace. By the time I felt coherent enough to speak, night had fallen and Spencer was snoring behind me.

The longer I stayed there, in his arms, in Japan, the longer I lost myself. I wasn't the same Edward who had nervously called an escort service and opened his door to find the love of his life standing there. I wasn't the same Edward who cowered to his father, who desired the kiss from a drug addict, or who had walked away from the best thing in my life simply because I thought I had to. The Edward inside me was different. I was stronger and weaker, I was harder and softer, I was braver and more scared.

But regardless of the changes, slight or major, I was still in love with Jasper, and until I let him go completely in every way, and stood on my own two feet, I wouldn't be the man I was supposed to be. The one who Jasper had known existed in me all along.

My eyes were almost swollen shut when I tried to open them, my cheeks still felt damp as I slid from Spencer's warm embrace and went into the bathroom. Bracing my hands on the edge of the sink, I dared to look at myself in the mirror. I saw the shallow skin and the hickeys on my neck, but mostly I saw the puffy, bloodshot, lifeless eyes. They weren't the shade of emeralds anymore, they were merely a dull, tarnished green.

"You okay?"

I had been so focused on looking at myself I hadn't seen him standing in the doorway in the reflection.

"Yeah," I rasped, clearing my throat. "We need to talk."

He nodded knowingly. "I'll go start some coffee."

It was a conversation I wasn't looking forward to, but it was about fucking time I stopped shying away from the hard topics. As Emmett would say, I needed to man up. I splashed some water on my face, but left the two days growth on my jaw as I brushed my teeth and then went to my bedroom for some clothes. By the time I joined Spencer on the couch, he had two mugs of coffee waiting. Folding one leg under me, I sat next to him, my knee touching his. I didn't mind when his hand rested on my thigh.

"It's about him, isn't it?" he asked.

"No," I answered, but he raised a brow. "Not entirely."

"So, let me have it then," he sighed.

"Remember we talked about coming out the other night? You said if you ever came out, it would be for yourself and not someone else?"

"Yeah."

"I've been thinking about that, and you're right. I was going to come out for Jasper, but that wasn't the right reason. I was doing it to keep him in my life, to prove I loved him when I shouldn't have had to prove that to him."

"You're right, you shouldn't. And if you coming out was what was going to keep him in your life then he was more of an ass-"

"Don't. Don't trash talk him, I don't want to hear it." He nodded, and I continued with the harder news. "I'm going back to the States tomorrow. I'm going to come out."

His eyes grew wide and he froze. "What? Wait, what? Did you say you're coming out? Fuck, Edward, are you insane? Why?"

"Hear me out," I said, putting my hand up. "I'm tired, Spencer. I don't want to be this guy anymore, the one who hides who he is from the entire world. Who has to fuck a paid escort in a hotel in Seattle or coworker in an apartment in Japan in order to keep it a secret. It's not right. I'm going to go home, set up a board meeting and come out. It's time."

"Edward, you can't. Don't do this, you don't know what you're saying," he argued quietly. "You're just upset over what happened between us."

"That's not it at all. This," I motioned between us, "was bound to happen sooner or later. I don't regret it, and I hope you don't either, but it can't happen again."

He dropped his head to the back of the couch and sighed. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Very. I'm going to book a flight tonight, and hopefully be back in the States in a day or two."

"What if your family doesn't accept it? The press will tear you apart," he countered.

"I think," I swallowed thickly, "I think my sister will be okay with it, and I hope my mother will. As for my father…I honestly don't know. I don't want him to hate me for what might happen to the company, hurting the company is my biggest fear."

"And it will, you know that, as soon as the press finds out…"

"I'm going to call our PR firm beforehand, see if there is anything I can do to keep the news quiet. I thought about just coming out to my family, and keeping it under wraps at work, but," I shook my head, "no, if I coming out, I stepping all the way out of that fucking closet and slamming the door behind me."

"And if the company doesn't accept it?"

"Then I'll quit. Save the company the shame and step down gracefully with my head held high. I won't drag it through the media. I've got some money invested, I can cash some in and live off that for awhile. If I can't find another job in pharmaceuticals, there are other companies that might not be so biased."

Lolling his head to the side, he reached up and cupped my cheek. "You're really going to do this, aren't you?"

"Yes," I answered with more confidence than I'd ever felt in my life. "I am."

"I hope you're making the right decision," he sighed.

"I won't say a word about you, you know that, right?"

"I know, I'm not worried about me, other than…well, other than I want you here with me," he confessed. "Edward, when I asked you to go out the other night, I didn't intend for all this to happen, but these past few days have been the shit my fantasies have been made of since I laid eyes on you. It's been amazing, and I don't want to give it up."

"We're not right," I reasoned, but he shook his head.

"You don't know that. You can't know that. You can't sit there and tell me the sex we've been having hasn't been incredible."

My silence was his answer. Honestly, I couldn't tell him. I'd been topping him for two days straight and no matter how many times my cock was in his ass, I was hard an hour later. Our bodies were doing the talking, and mine obviously wanted his.

"And you want to just walk away and not even give us a chance," he whispered.

"How about this," I began, "I'm to go home and come out, assuming everything goes well, I will come back to Japan and finish the merger. Once you and I are back in Chicago, maybe we can try this again." His eyes lit up with hope. "We'll start at the beginning, a few dates, dinner, movies, that kind of thing, see if we are compatible outside of the boardroom and the bedroom."

"We've lived together for two months, I think we're pretty fucking compatible," he smirked.

"Point taken, but I need to do it this way, okay?"

"Why don't you just wait until the merger is over? Come out then?" he suggested.

"That's a month away, if not more, I'll lose my nerve by then. I need to do this now."

Surprisingly, he nodded. Leaning forward, I kissed him softly, brushing my lips over his but pulling away before he could deepen it. "Thank you," I murmured before standing up. "I need to go book a flight."

I walked out the room, my heart racing with what was about to do.

"**~~**"

The ocean breeze ruffled my hair as inhaled the salty air deep into my lungs. My eyes squinted in the sun as I watched the waves roll in, cresting before tumbling into white foam as it flowed over the sand before ebbing back out again. The cycle was never ending, they came in, they went out, each wave washing away evidence on the sand, rocks, shells, footprints. Someone could walk along the water's edge and after a few steps, turn and see no proof of their having been there at all. Gulls squawked above me as they swooped down looking for food. Shielding my eyes with my hand, I looked up and watched them. Their wings spread wide as they glided on the wind.

They were so free.

Sighing, I looked back at the water sparkling with broken facets of sunlight. Beneath my feet, the wet sand squished between my toes as I wiggled them. With my shoes dangling from one hand and the postcards held together with a rubber band in the other, I took a step forward. The icy water washed over my feet, reddening and numbing them, but I didn't care.

It had been a long thirty-six hours. After booking the flight in Japan, I had packed my bags and called Bella to let her know I would be home. I also told her to schedule the board meeting, but not why I needed it. The next morning, I got up, showered, and dressed. When I entered the kitchen, Spencer was sipping coffee. I poured myself some and sat down.

"You're really going," he mumbled.

"I have to. If it goes well, I'll be back within the week, maybe sooner," I told him before setting my mug down.

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then I guess I will see you when you return to Chicago," I murmured. "I'll be the one looking for a job."

An hour later, I was standing by the door wrapped in his arms as he whispered goodbye in my ear. "No matter the outcome, we can still go out on that date," I assured him.

"Good luck," he said softly.

"Thanks," I returned before kissing him. "I'll be in touch, I promise."

He nodded and I opened the door. I didn't look back as I walked down the hall pulling my luggage behind me.

The flight was long and grueling and exhausting. I tried to sleep, I tried to work, but the knots in my stomach wouldn't loosen enough for me to concentrate on either one. When the pilot announced we were minutes away from landing in Boston, I sighed. The first step in my journey to becoming a new man was only a few hours away.

Renting the car and making the drive up the coast had been easy. Parking in the driveway of the beach house and getting out was slightly more difficult. Stepping onto the sand and seeing where I'd spent the happiest moments of my life almost broke me.

For an hour I stood on the beach staring at the water. There were a few other people further down, but the beach still offered privacy even in the busy summer months. The tears that rolled down my cheeks went unnoticed by everyone except me. I walked slowly up and down the length of the beach, sometimes in the dry sand, sometimes in the water. Eyeing the ground, I would occasionally stop, drop my shoes and pick up a rock. Swinging my arm back, I would release it and watch it skim across the water's glassy surface before picking up my shoes and continuing.

But no matter what I did or where I walked, the memories were all the same. I heard the echoes of his infectious laughter in the crashing waves, I could almost see his footprints next to mine in the sand, feel his arm around my waist. If I looked closely enough, I could see him running from me, giggling and squealing as he bounded through the water, daring me to catch him. I almost burst into a sprint to run him down, to wind my arms around him and toss him to the ground in a tangle of limbs and kisses. It was the agony in my heart that stopped me from running after the dream.

I wanted to hate him for ripping me apart, but I couldn't.

There was a child's laughter in the distance, and I looked down the beach to find a dad chasing his son around in the sand. I smiled at the sight, at the sheer joy in the boy as he ran from his father's grasp. Life was so simple at that age. No expectations, no fears of letting down the ones you love most, no futures riding on your shoulders, nothing but the fun of being caught and swung through the air by your father. The father caught his son, and in a fit of giggles, he lifted the boy and tossed him into the air before catching him. Tiny arms wrapped around the dad's neck as the boy hugged him while pleading for him to do it again. I wondered if the little boy would ever disappoint his father, and if he did, how would his father deal with it. Would his love for his son outweigh any disappointment, or would he be humiliated and embarrassed at the secret he didn't know?

I turned around and headed for the last place I had left.

Maybe coming to the beach in hopes of saying goodbye to Jasper had been a stupid idea, but I had to try. I needed to become the man he saw in me, and to do that, I had to be free of him.

When I reached the whale rock, I didn't hesitate before climbing up to it and sitting down. I wrapped my arms around my knees, keeping them to my chest and resting my chin on them as I closed my eyes. There was no stopping the tears as I was slammed with memories, thousands of flashes and images of the hours I spent on the rock in Jasper's warm embrace. I remembered the anger and sorrow I felt when he told me about his past, about the Home and being raped. I couldn't imagine the horrors he'd survived to find his way to me. That night I'd thought we would be together forever. In fact, I had no doubt we would be.

How wrong I'd been.

Sitting there on our rock, I cried and remembered each tear, each memory giving me courage to do what I had to do. I tried not to think about how proud I knew Jasper would be, how happy he would be for me, but I thought about it anyway. What I wouldn't give to see the brightening of his eyes or the dimples in his smile as he realized my words. He never would though, he would never know what he'd given me the strength and courage to do. Opening my eyes I stared at the ocean, wondering if I sat there long enough if the roses we'd tossed in there months earlier would wash ashore.

I thought about going into the house, going into the bedroom where I'd made love to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Something told me I wouldn't be returning to the beach house for a very long time.

If ever.

Looking down, I ran my hand along the rough granite of the rock, stroking it almost reverently. I had to say goodbye to the rock as much as I did Jasper. It could never again be the place that offered me comfort in my time of need. I watched the tears drip from my face onto the rock, darkening it in small circles as they splashed on it.

"I'm so sorry, love," I murmured, raising my eyes back to the ocean. "I'm sorry I fucked up, and I miss you." Exhaling a long breath, I wiped my eyes, which only blurred again. The pain in my chest increased so much I thought my heart would burst, it swelled with love for a man and the ache of a goodbye.

I remembered our last night together, how he'd made me promise I would always remember him even when I fell in love again. I remembered thinking I would never love again, but I had made the promise anyway. Now I was taking the first step toward keeping that promise. I would never forget Jasper, but I needed to close him away while I got my life back together.

It was time to move on.

Time to say goodbye to the dream and step off the yellow brick road.

"I will always love you, Jasper," I spoke as if he was sitting in front of me. "But I need to go now, I need to heal. I know you would understand," I stopped and took a breath, "because even though you didn't meet me at the airport, I know you still love me as much as I do you. I hope…I hope someday you find love again."

I sat on the rock until the sun was low in the sky, until the only sounds left were the waves and the gulls and my breaths. My heart was sore, aching with each beat, but I felt stronger. He was there with me, holding my hand and looking at the ocean. I felt his warmth seeping from his body into mine as he leaned against me. When it came time, I released his hand, stood and climbed off the rock, not turning to look at him as I walked away leaving him there.

I made my way through the deep, dry sand toward the car, but before I crossed onto the lawn, I turned and looked at the ocean one final time. My hand clutched the postcards. I had intended to let them go too, to toss them in the ocean like we had the flowers, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Everything I had of him was gone, everything except my memories and those cards.

"It's because of you I'm strong enough to do this. Goodbye, my love," I whispered, firmly grasping the postcards.

"Goodbye, baby," the wind blew his voice to me.

Smiling, I wiped the last of my tears away.

Like the gulls, I was free.

The return drive to Boston was quick, and I checked into a hotel for the night. My flight wasn't until next morning, but I couldn't stay at the beach house, it would have hurt too much. With the time change, I stayed awake almost all night, flipping through the channels on the television and sipping bourbon from the mini-bar. Fears and doubts clouded my thoughts, but I refused to let them change my mind. I crawled into bed fully dressed and dozed for an hour or two before my alarm went off.

A few hours later, I was sitting on a flight to Chicago. I'd text Spencer to let him know I was okay. He thanked me for letting him know and wished me luck.

The plane ascended and I settled back for the flight. Like I always did, I opened the shade to the window and stared at the ground below. Once we moved above the cloud cover, my gaze shifted to the horizon. The way the sun streamed through the clouds was mesmerizing, and I was in awe of the beauty. But it wasn't the streaming sun that caught my eye, it was the faded rainbow in the distance. So faint it was barely visible, but there was no mistaking the colored arc. Leaning my head against the window, I sighed and wished Jasper was there to see it with me.

I wanted to him to finally see somewhere over the rainbow.

"It's so beautiful, love," I whispered.

"**~~**"

The shirt was itchy, my tie was too tight, and the jacket was too hot. I ran my hand through my hair for the millionth time in just under the hour I'd been sitting in my office. To say I was a nervous wreck would have been a huge understatement. I'd already thrown up twice before I left my apartment and once since arriving at work. Avoiding everyone, I'd made my way to my office and closed the door.

I needed to be alone to gather the courage.

I'd arrived home the afternoon before, my apartment empty of any physical reminder of Jasper. Setting my bags in my bedroom, I sat down on the couch and called Bella to let her know I was back in the city.

"I've got the meeting scheduled for ten tomorrow," she told me. "Are you going to tell me why?"

"I can't," I choked out in a shaky voice.

"Edward, you're my friend and my boss, I need to know if I'm going to have a job after this meeting," she explained and I felt like shit.

"Bella, I'm sorry. Yes, of course you will, this won't affect your position with the company."

"But it might affect yours," she assumed.

"I don't know…maybe."

"I saw your father today, he didn't mention anything about you coming home, does he know?"

"No, I haven't told my family. I'll see my dad tomorrow."

"He's coming in for the meeting, but I know he's got a tee time of eleven on the calendar. Some on the course meeting with a few guys from Simons."

"Okay, thanks for letting me know. The meeting won't take long," I sighed. "Can you text me that information I need?"

"It's on the way," she promised.

"Great, thanks. I got to go, Bella, I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for everything."

"Welcome, Edward," she said quietly before hanging up.

Pressing my test messages, I saw the name and number I needed and dialed.

"Carlson Public Relations, how may I direct your call?"

I glanced at the name I'd written down from Bella's text. "Mr. Colin Witt, please."

"One moment please."

I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes while I listened to the on hold music. When he answered in a pleasant voice, I was immediately relieved. Before I named the company I was with, I explained the situation and my field of work. He listened intently, asking a few questions for more details. I gave him the history of the company, how personal it was, how important it was the reputation not be tarnished. When I was done, he immediately soothed my fears, telling me they handle situations like mine often.

"But I don't hear about them," I countered.

"Exactly," was his short reply, and I smiled. He asked if I would be willing to meet him for a late lunch and I agreed.

An hour later, I was sitting at an outside table at a grill near his office. Colin was punctual and I stood as he approached and held out my hand. He was dressed in an expensive suit and dark framed sunglasses decorated with rhinestones, and appeared to be only a few years older than me.

"Mr. Cullen, pleased to meet you," he smiled and motioned for me to sit.

"You too," I said as we both sat. He slid his glasses up into his styled, black hair, revealing unique light gray eyes that matched his suit.

"Everything okay?" he asked, tilting his head.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed.

"My eyes? Strange color I know," he smiled. "And if you're wondering, yes, I'm gay. The company I work for has handled several cases similar to yours and I think you will find we can almost guarantee no harm will come to your father's company."

"Forgive me for asking, but do you know my father?"

"We meet when the contracts were signed, but I don't know him personally, why?"

The waiter interrupted and we placed our order and sipped the water he'd poured. "Honestly, I'm afraid to come out to him as much as I am the company. I wondered if you had worked with him and he knew you were gay, what your impressions of his acceptance were."

Nodding, he leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. "Well, I didn't exactly wave my rainbow flag or make a pass at him," he smirked, "but if he'd asked, I would have answered honestly. If he suspected, he didn't say anything."

I nodded and he continued. "So, after we got off the phone earlier, I designed a plan. Why don't you read it over and let me know what you think. We can make any adjustments you feel necessary."

He handed me a folder with a few papers inside and I flipped through them, reading each one carefully. Considering it had only been an hour since I'd spoken to him, the plan was well thought out and detailed. There was little else needed.

"Will this work?" I asked, closing the folder and looking up at him.

"Yes."

One word. It was full of confidence, of knowing and experience.

"Edward," he said quietly, leaning forward, "your sexuality is no one's business. Straight people don't need to declare they're straight and worry about getting fired for it, we do. My company is owned by a gay man, he understands the discrimination we face and does everything he can to protect his clients and employees from it. It's not fair or right that you have to call me to help you come out, but it's reality. Trust me, we can do this, and your father's company will remain unscathed."

Relieved at his words and the confidence that oozed from him, I sighed. "Thank you, Colin."

He smiled, "So tell me about your father."

I spent the next hour filling him on the history with the company, although he already knew most of it, and a little bit about my relationship with my dad. He nodded sympathetically through a lot of it with a few 'been there, done that,' tossed in. The more I spoke to him, the more at ease I became. Maybe I could dare to let myself think it might work out.

The tab was paid and our table was cleared and we continued to talk. He made me feel like I was the only client he had with the amount of time he spent with me. He reassured me many times to trust him and the work he does. It appeared most of it would be done behind the scenes, and I wouldn't have to do any press conferences or meetings unless something went wrong, but he promised that was unlikely.

If nothing else, by the end of lunch, I had one gay friend in Chicago.

We stood to leave. "It's been a pleasure meeting you, Edward." He put his hand out for me to shake. "I'd like you to call me after the meeting and let me know how it went, good or bad. If we need to do a bit more damage control, we can."

"Thank you, Colin. You've been a great help, I appreciate it," I smiled and clasped his hand.

"Just doing my job, Edward. I'll talk to you soon." I followed him out of the restaurant and watched him get into a black limo.

Part of me wanted to walk to the nearest bar and drink myself into oblivion. Maybe a drunken stupor would calm the churning of my stomach. It would also give me a hangover for the next day and I wanted to be clear-headed when I walked into that room the next morning. Instead of drinking, I spent the remainder of the day wandering around my apartment, cleaning things that were clean, cooking food I never ate, watching television I didn't hear.

Irrevocably, my thoughts turned to Jasper. No matter how little of him remained in my apartment, no matter the goodbye at the beach, he was still ingrained in my heart, a heart that wouldn't let me forget him regardless of how hard I tried. While I was no longer coming out for him, for us, I didn't want to fail his memory. I wanted him to be proud of me even if he never knew.

Then there was my father. I had called him to let him know I was in town and would be at work the next day. I knew he was proud of me, of my hard work and accomplishments, and I feared burdening him. I was afraid of seeing disappointment replace pride in his eyes when he looked at me. I was afraid of him seeing me differently.

As not his son.

I had told Spencer I would quit, I would deal with the fallout, and I would, but that didn't make the possibility of it stinging any less. I lay on my bed all night, staring at the ceiling and the clock, neither of them offering comfort in my time of need. There was only one voice, one touch that could calm my pounding heart.

"Edward?" Bella closed the door behind her. "I knocked but you didn't answer."

"Sorry, preoccupied," I said, once again threading my fingers through my hair.

"I can see that." She walked to the desk and tossed a folder on it. "Everything okay?"

"No, but I hope it will be," I answered quietly. When she raised an eyebrow to inquire more, I shook my head. "You'll hear it soon enough I suppose. I'm going to come out at the meeting." She went to speak, but I stopped her. "I've already spoken with the PR firm, it's already in progress. They're working behind the scenes to keep it on the down low from the press, and are ready with statements for damage control if it's necessary."

"Wow, I don't know what to say," she replied. "I'm proud of you for doing this Edward. I know you're probably scared, but this is right. You should be able to live your life."

"How did I make it so many years without you?"

"You didn't. You picked me up at the bar in college and I latched onto your side like a parasite. You've been stuck with me every since."

"I beg to differ," I chuckled. "You picked me up."

"Potato, po-tah-toe. Either way, you thought I was hot," she smiled.

"Totally."

"And I knew a good friend when I saw him," she beamed in satisfaction. "I've got to go help Ben prepare for a meeting but if you need me, come get me." Standing, she walked around the desk and leaned down, placing a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be thinking of you."

Before I could thank her, she was gone.

Glancing at clock, I realized I only had twenty minutes. It was going to be the longest twenty minutes of my life.

It was probably a stupid thing to do, but I opened my briefcase and pulled out the postcards I had brought with me. They were still gathered in the rubber band and a few corners were bent from the trip from Japan but they were all there.

All fifty-eight of them.

One for each day I'd spent in Japan.

Pulling the elastic off, I turned them over and flipped through them. My eyes scanned the desperate scrawl on the backs, the pleading and begging, the hate and love. I had written them in a time of darkness and weakness, a time I had been still engulfed in only a few days prior.

Things had changed so much since the last one I'd written.

Having had sex, Spencer and I were in a different place, I let Jasper go, and was coming out, standing up for myself and who I was.

Each shiny card, and the words of sorrow on them, gave me more confidence I was doing the right thing. I couldn't be the man who wrote those cards again. I needed to become the one Jasper had seen, only maybe less slutty. Chuckling to myself, I put the band around the cards and gently put them back in my briefcase.

Standing, I buttoned my suit jacket, made sure my tie was straight, and went to my door. I walked purposely down the hall to the end where the boardroom was. I could hear voices from inside, some laughter and joking as I imagined the men were greeting each other with slaps on the back and making their way to their seats. Then I heard my father's distinct laughter, and hoped like hell he laughed again after the meeting. There was frosted glass on either side of the door and I glanced in to see all the seats were filled. Everyone was there.

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Bella standing in the hall behind me. She nodded and gave me a smile. Turning forward again, I took a deep breath and reached for the door knob.

"For me," I whispered under my breath before turning the knob and swinging the door open, fully prepared to make the speech that would change my life completely.

Every head in the room turned to face me as I stepped inside. Spencer's father was there, along with the other eleven members, and my CEO father. He sat at his usual spot at the head of the long, dark table. The occupied swivel chairs around it were tall and leather, each one holding someone who in a few moments, might like me a hell of a lot less. Sitting on the table in front of each of them were their cell phones and whatever latest papers their assistants had handed them on their way to the meeting. One side of room was all windows overlooking the Chicago skyline while the other side was the frosted glass that distorted the view into the offices. There was a small table in the corner with fruit, coffee, and water on it. My stomach churned at the thought of food.

"Edward," my father greeted with a smile. I noticed everyone was in a suit but him. He was dressed in a tan polo shirt and slacks, and I remembered Bella's comment about the golf game he had. Closing the door behind me, I moved to the opposite side of the table and stood in front of the empty wall that held our projection screen.

Each of the members greeted me, and I returned their handshakes. Most of them I saw on a regular basis, but there were a few I didn't know well and hadn't seen in many months.

"Thank you for coming, I'm sorry to have called this on such short notice," I said, hoping my voice wasn't betraying my inner anxiety.

"Is this about Japan? Is everything going well?" my father asked.

"Everything is going very well with Takeda, but this meeting isn't about that, it's something else."

"Then by all means, proceed," my father said, waving his hand.

It was now or never.

If the words didn't come out of my mouth right then, they never would.

"Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm not doing this out of malice or as a joke. I have given what I am about to say much thought, many years worth actually, and have finally decided the time is right to share this with you all," I started, forcing my eyes to met their curious, and slightly bored, gazes. Clasping my hands behind me, I walked down one side of the table. "My time in Japan has allowed for some reflection on my life, my past, and of course, my future. I hope that future is here with you all, but should it not be, I respect each and every one of you who has worked so hard for my father and this company."

My father leaned back in his chair, his head tilted thoughtfully as he watched me and bridged his hands in front of him. "Edward, are you—"

Putting my hand up, I stopped him before he could get too far. "Let me finish." Smiling at the way I had taken control, he nodded and motioned for me to continue. "I firmly believe we are an accepting company and don't discriminate against anyone, but we all know this is a cutthroat business, and the image we project to the outside world isn't always what goes on behind closed doors. If that were true, we wouldn't keep PR firms on retainer to help us out of scandals. That being said, I have taken the initiative and reached out to our PR firm. Our representative is already aware of what I am about to tell you all."

I paused, taking a much needed deep breath. I could almost feel Jasper next to me, his hand squeezing mine encouragingly, giving me strength to deliver the final blow.

"Dad, board members," I said, skimming their all their faces before resting my gaze to my father, "I'm homosexual."

The term hearing a pin drop had never meant so much as it did then. It seemed forever that they glanced at each other, a few confused, some openly shocked. I waited for the nods and 'I told you so', but they didn't say a word. They deferred to their leader, my father, to make the first comment.

My father unwaveringly held my stare. I think everyone heard my heart racing and skipping and racing again. Standing as proudly and still as I could, I tried not to bit my lip or run my hand through my hair while I waited for his reaction. His hands were still bridged in front of him, and he tapped the tips of his fingers together as he studied me. I wished I was a mind reader, able to see into the depths of his thoughts, to know if the next words of his were going to bring relief or pain. I swallowed the lump clogging my throat and began praying his silence was a good thing.

In the back of my mind, I heard Jasper's voice soothing me the only way he knew how, by singing "Somewhere over the Rainbow".

Finally, my father tore his eyes from mine and I breathed a sigh of relief. At least I was still alive. Assertively, my father looked at each board member individually, reading their faces and reactions, both obvious and hidden.

"I assume this won't be a problem for any of you?" he asked them. There was a lot of head shaking. "This is not only the head of Mergers and Acquisitions who just came out, but my son. They both mean the world to me, and if any of you have a problem with him or what he has just announced, I expect you to come to me privately. But before you do, know I will not tolerate any form of discrimination in this company, this includes gossip, going to the press behind my back, or harassing my son in any way. Should I hear any of this from anyone, I will not hesitate to take action. Removing a member from the board is not easy, but trust me, I shall not sleep until it's done. Is that understood?"

Then there was a bunch of nods, and a few cowering in fear of my father's determined authority. Satisfied, he looked back at me.

"Is that all, Edward?" he asked.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Very well then," he pushed back from the table. "I'm late for my tee time."

Standing, he opened his arms and welcomed me into them. Not hesitating, I stepped forward and was engulfed in his embrace. His hand rubbed my back through the suit jacket. "I'm proud of you, son. What you just did took a lot of guts."

"Thanks, Dad," I choked out, hoping to blink away the tears. I clung to him for a few seconds before pulling away. He smiled before releasing me.

"Walk me out?" I nodded and followed him to the door, completely aware of the last warning glance he gave each member. Outside the door, I fell in step with him as he walked toward the elevator.

"You need to tell your mother," he said as I if I had forgotten.

"I'm going over there right now."

"Good. I'd go with you but-"

"You're late for tee time."

"Well, yes, but I also think it's something you should tell her alone." He stopped, grabbing my wrist. "You know she will be okay with this, right?"

"I hope so," I sighed.

"She will. Mothers…they seem to know things often before we do," he said cryptically. We reached the elevators. I'd made it through the offices without as much as a one strange glance, but maybe it was too soon for the gossip just yet. My father pressed the down button. "If you hear one word while I'm gone, I want to know about it."

"Okay."

"Colin, the PR rep, you've talked to him?"

"Yes, I met him for lunch yesterday, it's being handled as we speak."

"Very well. Don't worry, Edward, he is very good at his job. It's why we hired that firm, they are the best." The elevator dinged and we both stepped on and he pressed the button. "Keep me updated on anything I need to know."

"I will," I promised. We rode a few floors in silence. My breaths were lighter, easier, freer than ever before. Even in Seattle, I hadn't been able to breath as deeply.

We stepped off in sync when the doors opened and I walked with him through the lobby. He waved and smiled to a few people. Outside, the car was waiting for him at the curb, his driver holding the door open. Stopping, he turned to me one last time.

"You did a brave thing today, Edward."

"I was scared," I admitted.

"That doesn't matter, you still did it. I'm proud you're my son," he said before hugging me quickly and climbing into the car. I watched while the driver got in and pulled away with my dad waving to me from the back seat.

Exhaling a long breath, I looked up to the cloudless sky and searched.

Surely there had to be a rainbow somewhere.

"**~~**"

"Mom? You here?" I asked as I closed the front door and headed toward the kitchen.

"Out here," she called from outside. I walked through the kitchen and onto the patio behind it. My mother was on her knees wearing her garden gloves and digging in the dirt. Next to her were a few boxes of flowers.

"Don't you have a gardener for that?" I asked as she wiped her forehead with her arm.

"Yes, but you know I enjoy planting the flowerbeds." She held out her hand and I took it, helping her upright. Kissing me on my cheek, she asked, "Your father said you were returning from Japan for a few days. What brings you here? Everything okay?" she asked with the concern only a mother could have.

"Yes, everything's fine, but I need to speak with you. May we talk?"

"Of course, why don't you get us a few beers and bring them out here, I could use a break."

I retrieved the beers from the refrigerator, opening them both and downing half of mine before returning to the patio. She was sitting at the table under the umbrella, her gloves resting on the chair next to her. Handing her the beer, I sat down across from her. The summer sun was strong, and the shade the umbrella offered was cool and soothing.

"You look well," she said, giving me a once over. I was surprised at her statement, because I thought I looked like hell. But maybe she was referring less to my physical appearance and more to the aurora of acceptance around me. After what I'd done earlier, there was no mistaking the relief in my eyes.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Of course," she scoffed, then startled, narrowing her eyes. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mom. But I need to tell you something, something important, and I hope that you can accept it."

"You're my son," was all she said.

"I know, Mom. I just came from the office where I had called a board meeting. I called the meeting because I had to tell the members, and dad, something important."

"What?" she asked, sipping her beer. I wondered if she was thinking I was going to say I was engaged, or moving to Japan, or maybe switching careers. I doubted if she suspected what was really going to come out of my mouth.

Similar to the one I'd taken outside the boardroom, I took a deep breath. "I'm gay."

I wasn't sure what I expected. Throwing things, shock, calm acceptance, but I didn't expect the flash of knowing that flared in her deep eyes or the curl of her lips as she tried to suppress a motherly smile. Holding my stare for a few long seconds, she studied me in the similar way my father had, and let my words sit heavily in the air between us. I don't think she was purposely trying to make me more nervous than I was, but rather let the realization of her knowing settle on me.

"Did dad call you?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I finally asked, shifting in the chair. "All those girls you pushed on me…."

"It wasn't my place, Edward. What you feel for other people, no matter their gender, is your business. I didn't know for sure of course, but I'm a mother. We're always the first to know, often even before our children do."

"How long?"

She shrugged. "Since that boy in high school moved away. What was his name?"

"Masen," I supplied, my heart twisting with his memory.

"Yes, Masen. I remember how distraught you were after he transferred to a different school. I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or feel worse than you already did. I felt awful watching you suffer your first broken heart that summer."

I had no clue she'd even noticed my mopping around. The hours I had spent in my room listening to sad love songs.

"After that, you threw yourself into school and then work so much it didn't seem strange you never had a girlfriend."

"But the girls?" repeated, reminding her of the countless dates she forced on me, the women she wanted me to bring to the benefits.

"Just because I knew you had an interest in boys didn't mean I knew you didn't have an interest in girls," she reasoned softly. "Until you told me otherwise, I assumed you were open to…how do they say it? Experimenting?"

I couldn't help but smile. She had a good point, even if she knew I had liked Masen, it didn't mean I was gay. "Yes, experimenting."

"So have you?"

"MOM!"

"Just curious."

"I was with a girl briefly in college. I don't want to relive that experience," I clarified, swiftly killing her dreams of my grandchildren. She sighed, slightly sadly, but never said anything. "So you're okay with this? With having an openly gay son?"

Reaching over, she covered my hand with hers and squeezed it. "Of course I am. Nothing will ever change the fact you're my son."

"Thanks, Mom." There was an ache in my chest when I realized the first person I wanted to call and tell I'd come out to my parents was the one person I couldn't call.

"Tell me about the meeting."

I told her about how scared I had been, how everyone was quiet after I had announced it, and then how dad took over. I couldn't help smiling when I recalled how protective he'd been.

"You could have told us sooner, Edward. I'm sorry you felt you couldn't."

"It's okay," I half lied.

"No, it's not. There's been a lot of pressure on you since the day you were born, pressure that led you to believe we wouldn't accept you. That's not right."

"I was scared, Mom. I let the media dictate my fear. I thought my coming out would reign hellfire down on the company, and I couldn't do that to dad, not after he's worked so hard for it. The more I thought about it, the more afraid I got. My fear snowballed," I explained quietly.

"No need to be afraid anymore, I'm sure your father will take care of everything." She removed her hand and sat back in her chair, tilting her head. "So tell me, any boyfriends?"

I snorted. Leave it to my mother to want to know the gritty details of my love life. My first instinct was to answer yes, I have the most amazing man in the world, but that was no longer true. The most amazing man in the world was no longer mine.

I settled for "No."

"Well, when you get one you will be sure to bring him over, right?"

"Yes, Mom," I said obediently.

"Good boy," she chuckled. "You know what this means Alice is going to want to set you up with all her gay designer friends. She has a slew of them. She is always talking about them to me on the phone."

Rolling my eyes, I shook my head and brought my beer to my mouth. "No way," I mumbled around the head of the bottle.

We spent the better part of the next hour talking about Japan. I answered all her questions, leaving out the fact Spencer was probably barely walking because we'd fucked so much. She asked when I was returning, and I told her I had a flight to the next day. Finally I stood, telling her I had to meet Bella and Emmett for dinner. She hugged me and kissed my cheek again.

"I'm proud of you," she whispered in my ear, her voice catching in her throat. "As soon as you're back from Japan, we're celebrating. Alice is due home that week too."

"It's a date. Bye, Mom. I'll be in touch."

"Bye, Edward."

One long hug later, I was getting into my car and pulling out of the driveway. Reaching over, I turned on the radio. Before I realized it, my head was moving to the music and I was smiling. If I let myself concentrate hard enough, I might have even felt Jasper's hand covering mine as he whispered how proud he was of me.

"**~~**"

"He's a great guy, Edward. I think you'll really like him," Alice said confidently.

"I don't know, Alice," I whined. I'd barely landed in Chicago and my phone was ringing. I kicked my door closed with my foot and leaned my bag against the wall. "Alice, I just got home from a long flight, can we talk about this later?"

"Sure," she sighed, "but you better call me with an answer tomorrow. He's dying to meet you."

"I promise, I'll call you tomorrow," I said sweetly. "Bye, pixie."

"Bye, bro."

Stuffing the cell phone in my pocket, I dragged my bag to my bedroom and then went to the kitchen for food. The empty refrigerator was depressing.

"Fuck," I growled, pulling out my phone again. Glancing at menu on the counter, I dialed the number for the Chinese restaurant I used.

An hour later, my bags were unpacked and I was on my couch with my feet up eating lo mein out of the carton and watching the news. I was beyond exhausted, but the time difference wasn't going to allow me to sleep any time soon.

After coming out, I'd returned to Japan as promised. Spencer welcomed me back with tentatively open arms and a soft kiss. We spent the night on the couch as I told him the details on everything that had happened. He sighed a few times, and I knew he was wishing it was possible for him to do the same. His father was not mine however. There had been no mistaking the distaste on Mr. Stanley's face when I had given my announcement. There wasn't anything he could do about it, but he definitely didn't like it.

I cupped Spencer's cheek. "Maybe when you go back…"

"No. I can't. It's different for me, you know that," he reminded me and I nodded. "I'm glad it worked out for you though."

That night, after a welcome back kiss, we went to our separate bedrooms.

The rest of the merger went relatively smoothly. Takeda was successful in the purchase of two companies, making us a partner in the buyout. There were weeks of negotiations, lawyers, and reading contacts, but eventually the merger was done and it was time for us to head home. It had been just over a month since I'd come out, and my life had already changed. Apparently the news had spread across the world because by the time I returned to Japan, Marcus and Thomas already knew. Being the old fashioned man he was, Marcus said what happened behind a bedroom door was no one's business, and Thomas grinned and asked if I thought he had a nice ass. I was relieved they both seemed to accept it, in fact, it was never mentioned again for the remainder of the merger.

I'd spoken to Colin a few times. He kept me up to date via email, but so far there had been little fallout. A few back page articles in the business section, but not much more. He assured me the worst was over, and when I returned, I should feel free to live my life openly.

Then he offered to take me out to dinner to celebrate.

I told him I'd think about it.

I spoke to my father a few times about work, keeping him up to date on the finalizations. He never said a word about what had happened.

Spencer and I remained status quo. There were a few brushes of hands or bodies in the kitchen, lingering looks over dinner, or hands on arms while we watched television, but nothing like what had happened before I'd left. Our interactions were intimate, comfortable, and there was a sexual tension between us, but it wasn't anything either of us couldn't handle.

Finally, after months and many hours of hard work, Marcus, Thomas, Spencer, and I boarded a plan to head back to Chicago. When we were a few hours away from landing, Spencer seemed apprehensive. His knee was bouncing and he was gnawing on the inside of his cheek.

"What's wrong?"

He turned to me, a slight pink on his cheeks. "Did you mean what you said? Before you came out?"

I knew he was referring to the night I told him once we were back in the city, we could try to start over from scratch. I squeezed his hand on his thigh. "Yes, I did."

Putting the leftover lo mein in the refrigerator, I stripped my clothes and headed for my shower. I didn't feel the need to cry when I stepped under the spray like I had a month earlier. Instead, I washed my hair and body, rinsing off under the scalding water before getting out and drying. I knew I was far from healed, it would be years before the wound finally close, but my heart was on the mend.

After throwing on some cotton pants, I took the pile of postcards on my dresser and glanced at the last one written. It was dated the weekend before I'd left Japan. I'd hadn't bought or written another since then. It used to be debilitating to look at them, but now it just stung sharply, only taking half my breath away. Smiling sadly, I opened my top drawer and put them in, not even covering them up with something.

Crawling into bed, I let my mind wander to Jasper, as it had often lately. While my pain might have lessened slightly, my feelings for him hadn't ebbed one bit. My life was looking more positive than it had in years. I was out, I had two men who wanted to date me, and my sister trying to set me up with a third. My family accepted me, my work accepted me.

Life was good.

Except for one thing.

I still fucking missed him.

Every fucking second of every fucking day.

At the beach, I'd let him go, forced his memory to be tucked away in the deep recesses of my mind. And it worked. Mostly. I only allowed myself to think of him when I wanted to, like lying in bed. No longer did he rule my thoughts, I was able to focus on work, talk to others without hearing his voice, look at things without seeing his smile. But that didn't mean my heart didn't miss his with every breath I took.

It'd been just over three months since I had waited for him at O'hare. There had been times I didn't think I would see three months later, but there I was, living a different life.

My life.

Not my families, but mine.

They wanted to see me happy, successful in work and love. I wanted those things too. Maybe if I went slowly, took baby steps, I could begin to eventually rebuild my heart. But in order to do that, I needed to at least give someone the chance to wander into my heart. Sighing, I rolled over and grabbed my phone. I entered a text message and sent it, sure I wouldn't get a reply until morning, but I was wrong. He replied a minute later.

_I'd love to. See you then._

Biting my lip, I replied and then set my phone down and turned off my light.

Baby steps, I reminded myself.

"**~~**"

Two days later I stood in front of the mirror in my walk-in closet trying to decide between the lavender or cream shirt.

"Definitely the purple," he chuckled from behind me. "It brings out your beautiful eyes."

I rolled my beautiful eyes, but couldn't stop smiling no matter how frustrated I was with him. "Em, I asked you here to help me, not make fun of me."

"Oh. Um, I misunderstood the message then. I heard 'I've got a date, please come tease me.'"

Laughing, I held up my hand with my middle finger raised.

"You need to speak more clearly," he smiled and flopped onto my bed. "I still like the purple."

"It's lavender," I corrected him as I slipped my arms through the sleeves and began buttoning it. "Now, which tie?"

"I usually go with whichever one doesn't have food stains on it," he suggested.

"You're sick."

He shrugged. "What? I haven't been to the drycleaners lately."

No matter how much I calmly teased him, I was a nervous mess. It was my first…no, second date. My first date had been in Seattle with Jasper. But it was my first date with Colin, and I wanted to look nice. Somehow it felt wrong to want to look nice for another man.

"Where are you going?"

"Tru," I answered, flipping through the ties hanging on the rack. There were too many to choose from.

"Wow, someone is trying to impress."

"It was his suggestion," I shrugged.

"Like I said."

Finally settling on a slightly darker lavender tie with small cream pinstripes, I held it up for Emmett's approval. "Sure. Looks good."

Quickly, I tossed it around my neck and tied it, then grabbed my suit coat off the wooden hanger. "How do I look?"

"Very handsome," he said, standing up and walking over. He pretended to adjust my tie, but stopped and leaned closer, inhaling through his nose. "Mmm, you smell nice."

Lifting a hand, I put it on his shoulder and shoved him back. "Fuck off."

"Might be enough to make me bat for the other team," he winked and followed me out of the bedroom. I put my phone and wallet in my pocket and then began to pace. I had about ten minutes before Colin was due to arrive. "Why so nervous?"

"I'm not."

"Then why are you wearing a hole in your carpet?" I stopped and sighed. "You're thinking about Jasper, aren't you?"

"No," I lied and he raised a brow. "Fine. Maybe."

"Don't do this to yourself, don't jeopardize this before it has a chance to take off. Jasper's done. He's not here, you owe him nothing."

"I know that, it's just…"

"It's just nothing, forget him. Go out and enjoy yourself."

He was right.

There was a knock on the door and we both jumped, but Emmett made it to the door first. Swinging it opened, he motioned Colin inside. My breath caught when I saw him. Dressed in a charcoal gray pinstriped suit that was only slightly darker than his eyes, white shirt, and pale pink tie, he looked amazing. I'd thought he was handsome at lunch the day I'd met him, but I had outright ignored his delicate features and bright smile. The slight blush on his cheeks told me he liked my staring.

"Hi," he said shyly.

"Hi." I stuttered over one word. This was really happening, I was really going on a date openly with a man.

"What time will you have him back?" Emmett asked. Colin laughed, until he saw the serious look on Emmett's face.

"Colin, this is my best friend, Emmett. Emmett, this Colin Witt. Now leave him alone," I scolded him and moved toward Colin. "Are you ready?"

"I am," he grinned.

"Lock up when you leave," I said to Emmet as I ushered Colin out my door.

"Leave? I'm not leaving, I'm waiting right here until you are safely back home," he teased, and then called out after us, "Use protection!"

Colin and I stepped onto the elevator and the doors closed. "He's seems nice."

"He's a pain in the ass, but I wouldn't trade him for the world."

My heart raced as we stepped outside and Colin led me to his car with the driver waiting by the back door. Colin was obviously someone who was paid well and didn't mind a life of luxury. Once we were settled inside the backseat, he explained the car and driver came with the job.

"Even on the weekends?"

"Twenty-four seven," he nodded.

We made idle talk until we arrived at the restaurant. Colin gave his name and we were immediate whisked to a table next to the windows. They were floor to ceiling and covered with elegant gold curtains. The white linen covered tables were warmly lit with candles. It was romantic and formal. Colin held my chair for me as I sat down before he moved to his own. The wine server came over and Colin ordered a bottle. The server returned quickly and poured some to let us taste it. After I gave my approval, Colin nodded to the waiter and thanked him.

"So…"

I smiled. He was as nervous as I was. I wasn't sure why though, he was out already, he'd probably had several boyfriends. In fact, I wondered why he was there with me of all people.

"Why me?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

He laughed softly and sipped his wine. "Have you looked in a mirror?" he said, dipping his head down but gazing those gray eyes up through his lashes.

Blushing, I took a drink of my wine so I could avoid answering his question. Jasper had told me I was sexy, Riley called me beautiful, and while I thought of myself as bordering on handsome, I didn't think I was anything special.

"Tell me about Japan, I've never been," he asked, and thus began our conversation.

It flowed easily and freely for the three plus hours we were there for the five course meal. We laughed and smiled and drank our wine as we talked and ate. Colin told me how he got into the PR business and even about his childhood. As a teenager, he had been a diver, had even won a few national championships and was pegged for the Olympic team. Then there was a shoulder injury and his dreams of gold medals turned into years of physical therapy. There was rarely a silence and when there was, it was quickly filled with a blush and a smile.

It was after ten by the time I paid the tab. Refusing to let him split it, I insisted I had asked him out, it was my treat. He thanked me profusely and then stood. Even through my jacket, I felt the warmth of his hand on the small of my back as he guided me through the restaurant. Outside, his driver opened the door and we climbed inside.

"It's too soon to go home, how about a drink?"

"Sure," I agreed. Colin leaned forward and spoke quietly to his driver, then sat back. A few minutes later, the car pulled up in front of Vines. "We've done the fancy, now let's do the fun."

Laughing, I got out and followed him inside. Soon we were sitting an outdoor table, sipping beer from the tap and watching the people walk by. As with dinner, the conversation eased from one topic to the next without interruption. There was the occasional cheer when the Cubs scored on the televisions posted around the building.

"Do you like baseball?" he asked when my eyes wandered to the game. "My company as box seats to the Sox if you're interested."

For the first time since I'd left my apartment, my heart ached, instantly twisting at his words. They were a painful reminder of a day in late March I'd spent teaching Jasper how to bat and pitch.

"That'd be great," I mumbled, trying to smile through the pain. He continued talking, and I answered the questions, but my focus was gone. It was two thousand miles away as I wondered what Jasper was doing at that very minute. I scolded myself for it, I hated myself for letting his presence interfere with my date, but I couldn't help myself.

Maybe I'd been wrong, maybe it was still too soon.

After a second beer, he paid the bill and we left. The car pulled in front of my building around midnight. I'd spent the entire ride home worrying about how to say good night. I didn't know gay dating protocol. Jasper and had been fucking for months before our official first date. Was there an obligatory first kiss? Tongue? Should I invite him up? Did he expect me too? Did I have condoms and lube? Was he a top?

Before I could get too lost in my thoughts, the door was opening and I was getting out. Colin followed me onto the sidewalk. Taking a deep breath, I decided to be honest. I waited for his driver to return to the car before speaking.

"Listen, this is all kind of new to me. Really new," I chuckled at my embarrassment, and he gave me sweet smile. "I don't know the proper etiquette right now."

Reaching out, he took my hand. "It's okay, I understand. How about we say good night out here, and next time, and I hope there is one, you can invite me up?"

Relieved, I nodded. "That sounds really good, thank you."

"I had a really great time tonight, Edward, thank you for asking me."

"Me too," I said, even if it hurt to admit it.

Shifting my weight side to side, my hand still in his, I gasped as he leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. When I didn't pull away, he stepped closer and wrapped his free hand around my waist, pulling me tight to him. I was being kissed on the sidewalk in Chicago. My hometown. In front of my building. After years of hiding, my first instinct was to push him away, but instead I found myself willingly settling against him. When his tongue traced the seam of my lips, I parted them, letting him explore my mouth before meeting his tongue in return.

It was pleasant, sweet even.

But there was no frenzied need, no spark ignited, or pull in me screaming for more. I had no desire to throw him over my shoulder caveman style and carry him up to my room to fuck him all night.

The kiss wasn't without guilt either.

With Spencer, it'd been different. Our sex had been born of necessity from each of us, it had been passionate and unplanned, but kissing Colin was deliberate, and would eventually move to deliberate sex. He released a soft moan and pulled back. It was then I realized his hand was under my coat and stroking my back through the material of my shirt. A small shiver went up my spine and he smiled.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he smiled, sweeping his lips over mine once more.

"Night," I murmured, trying to return his smile. He watched me until I was inside my building and gave him a wave. I walked numbly to the elevator. Opening my door, I tossed my keys and wallet on the table before going straight to my bedroom, thankful Emmett's threats to wait there hadn't come true. I took off my clothes, hanging up my jacket and pants and tossing the shirt in the basket for dry cleaning. I climbed naked into bed and got under the blankets.

The date had gone well, really well. We had a lot in common, he was gorgeous, rich, polite, kind. Pretty much perfect. If it had gone so well, if he was so perfect, then why did everything feel so wrong? I was truly broken, and the only one who could fix me was the one who had broken me. Lying there in the dark, I hoped Spencer was right. Maybe I just needed more time. My phone vibrated with a message and I picked it up.

_Thank you for a wonderful evening, hope we can do it again soon._

Could I do it again soon? Part of me wanted to, desperately even, to try to see if something was really there and I was just ignoring it out of some guilty loyalty to a man who didn't want me anymore. And part of me knew that no matter how many times I went on dates with Colin, it just wasn't going to happen.

Colin was nice, I'd had a good time with him, I owed him another chance before I gave him the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. Pressing the buttons, I replied to his message, thanking him and asking him to meet me for lunch on Monday. He quickly answered yes.

I put the phone down and rolled over, my eyes open and staring out the window.

"**~~**"

The sun shone down everywhere except under the umbrella towering over the large round table I was sitting at. Wiping the sweat from the late July heat from my brow, I glanced at the inviting pool, its cool water sparkling from the rays above, and briefly I wondered if I still had a swimsuit at my parent's house. The scent of grilling steaks and assorted vegetables wafted in the humid air as I reached for my beer. Condensation beaded on the thick amber glass as I gripped it and brought it to my lips, letting the frosty liquid slide down my throat.

Life was pretty perfect.

Almost.

I still thought of Jasper every day. Even though the excruciating pain in my chest had eased to a dull ache, sometimes late at night I still felt lost without him and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and imagine his strong arms around me, cradling my body to his as his sweet breath fanned across my face.

My father stood guard at the grill, occasionally turning the meat or prodding the vegetables to see if they were done. Just then, my mother walked out the sliding glass door and onto the patio. In her hand was a tray full of cut cheese and fruit and she placed it on the table in front of me.

"Eat before it melts in this heat," she smiled.

Before she'd even finished the invitation, Alice was reaching for the watermelon, moaning when she bit into it. Wiping the juice that ran down her chin, she shook her head.

"I think you should at least meet Christian," she grumbled to me as she chewed.

Setting my beer down, I grabbed a few grapes and popped one into my mouth. "I told you, I'm seeing someone."

"Speaking of," my father said, glancing over his shoulder, "when do we get to meet this someone?"

I had yet to tell my father, anyone really, it was Colin I was seeing. Since our first date a little more than two weeks before, we had met for lunch a few times, had dinner twice, caught a movie once, and I was waiting to find out what time I should be at his place the next day for a late brunch. While our time together had increased, our physical relationship was progressing much slower.

After the goodnight kiss on our first date, we had a few brief kisses at lunch the next day, and a longer goodnight kiss after our second dinner date. It wasn't until after the movie date I had invited him up to my place. He wandered around, complimenting the décor and asking about the piano. We ended up on my couch, and after a lingering kiss, he pushed me down and lay on top of me. My cock responded to the grinding of his hips, and I even moved against him. Our erections continued to rub while we made out. I kept willing myself to feel something besides a base reaction to his body on mine, a skip of my heart, lightheadedness, urgency, something, _anything_.

It wasn't that it was bad, far from it. It felt nice, my cock was hard, but it wasn't the same, and I began to fear no one could ever make me feel like Jasper had.

Out of curiosity more than need, I let his hand slip under my undone jeans and groaned when he cupped my length. Ten minutes later, after focusing entirely on his touch and imagining another, I came, my hips bucking up into his hand as I panted for breath. Pushing him upright, I returned the favor, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them down enough so I could wrap my fingers around his erection. I liked the way he threw his head back and grunted as he fucked my fist. I really liked the way his cock erupted onto my hand. We recuperated together, both slightly embarrassed at our teenage-like antics.

It wasn't until our third dinner he pressed for more physically. I could tell by the way he was moaning in my ear and grinding on my lap that he wanted to fuck. I was prepared with condoms and lube in my bedroom, and my body wanted the taunt one writhing on my lap. It was my heart that held me back.

"I think we need to move this to your bedroom. I don't want our first fuck to be on a couch," he whispered and I followed him to my room. Our clothes were shed and he was laying on me, his cock slick and ready to enter me. His body was that of a diver, wide-shouldered, lean, and filled with ropy muscle under velvet skin. I felt my legs part for him, I heard myself moan when his fingers and tongue readied me, but when his sheathed cock began to press inside, I tensed.

He ran his hand down my cheek. "Relax, baby, I'm going to make you feel so good."

_Baby._

No one could ever call me that again.

"I'm so sorry, I can't. Not yet," I said with shame.

It was the sorriest reason ever, but he accepted it with a smile, claiming he understood. He removed the condom and rolled onto his back, pulling me next to him. He was quiet, but his hand stroking my back made me think he was okay with it. Still feeling guilty for getting him worked up and not delivering, I moved down his body and took his cock in my mouth. Before I knew it, he was twisting me around until my cock was sinking into his hot mouth as well. He was skilled and I pumped my hips into his willing throat until I came, my cries muffled by his cock filling my own mouth with his seed. I never told him not to call me baby.

We hadn't gotten past the blowjobs from a few nights before, but I was planning on surprising him after brunch the next day. I'd thought about it since that failed attempt, and I wanted to have sex with him. I needed to do as Jasper asked and open my heart to the possibility of another. It wouldn't happen overnight, I wasn't going to fall in love anytime soon, but I had to put myself out there emotionally and physically. My body reacted to Colin's, I got hard when he touched me, I was able to come and enjoy it. I needed, and wanted, to take the next step with him. It would be my first time bottoming for someone since Jasper, and I knew it was going to be hard, but four months was long enough.

"Maybe at Alice's fashion show next weekend?" I suggested to my father. "I can see if he wants to go."

My mother beamed excitedly. "Sounds wonderful, and maybe we can do dinner after."

Alice smiled, "I can't wait to meet him, maybe I can introduce you to Christian then too?"

Rolling my eyes, I sipped my beer.

Colin, Christian, and then there was Spencer.

Once we were back in Chicago, it hadn't taken long for him to want to go out, but I had put it off a few times before finally agreeing. Of course, our relationship needed to remain a secret, so our date had to be out of town away from familiar eyes. We'd dinner and went to a club after, dancing much like we had that fateful night in Japan. Only instead of fucking after, there was a long, sensual kiss. Our schedules, and my dates with Colin, hadn't allowed us to go out a second time yet, but it was going to happen.

I was going to be dating and fucking two guys at the same time. Bottoming for one and topping another.

Maybe I was a slut.

Smiling to myself, I glanced at my family as they laughed at something my mother said. They were really pretty fucking great. Not only had they accepted my sexuality, they wanted to meet my boyfriends, and even tried to set me up. My mother's matching making didn't stop with women, apparently any cute man was available to date me.

The steaks finished and my father served them along with a buffet of assorted salads and vegetables. We laughed and teased, and Alice told us all about her upcoming show and her internship that spring. It was nice to have her back home, if only temporarily.

Lunch ended and I helped clear the table. It had only gotten hotter outside and my shirt stuck to me like a second skin no matter how many times I pulled it away from my chest. I was loading the dishwasher when my mother walked in.

"Do I have an extra swimsuit here? I want to take a swim and cool off."

"Check your old room or the pool house," she offered as she put some leftovers in the refrigerator.

Bounding up the stairs by two, I went to my room and shuffled through the dresser, relieved when I found a pair of dark blue swimming trunks Quickly, I changed and went back downstairs. Everyone was back at the table, groaning when my mother said she had strawberry shortcake for dessert. I grabbed a towel from the pool house and dropped it on the stones surrounding the pool before going up the ladder of the diving board. Standing with my toes on the edge of the board, I sprang once and dove off.

The water was instantly refreshing, cooling my heated body as I came out of the dive and used my legs to remain under the water until I finally broke the surface, gasping for air at the other end.

Alice and my mother were clapping and cheering. "Ten!"

Shaking my head of excess water, I pushed up on the edge and lifted my body from the water, laughing at their encouragement to do it again. Instead, I picked up the towel and rubbed it over my face and hair, letting the rest of the water run down my chest and back, knowing it would dry quickly in the hot sun.

"Mr. Cullen?" the housekeeper's voice buzzed through the intercom system linked to the patio.

"Yes," both my father and I responded.

"Young Mr. Cullen has a visitor," she clarified in her accent.

"Let him in," I replied, knowing it was Emmett.

"Oh, the new boyfriend?" Alice asked hopefully.

"Nah, it's Emmett. He probably smelled the food cooking from his place. I hope you've got extra, Dad," I answered, pulling a beer from the outside refrigerator. I heard the sliding door open behind me. "Did you come to eat my parents out of house and home?" I turned around to greet Emmett, expecting whatever teasing he was going to give me in return. Only, it wasn't Emmett.

It was Jasper.

_My_ Jasper.

As my knees buckled and all the air left my body in a rush, I grabbed the back of a chair to support myself. Barely registering the voices of my family voicing their wonder, my head spun and the dull ache in my chest returned to a full-force pain.

How could he look the exact same and so different at the same time? A light stubble covered his jaw, creating a shadow on his beautiful features, his waves were longer, and his white tee shirt fit looser than I remembered. Sleepless dark circles marred the skin under his lifeless eyes. I knew they were lifeless because I'd seen the exact same look in my own for the past four months. The nervous movement of his hand holding a bouquet of red and white roses brought me out of my haze and I realized I had just been standing there staring at him. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, yell at him, and ask why the fuck he broke me, but all I could do was love him. None of the hurt mattered because he was there proving he had been as broken as I was, he needed me as much as I needed him.

He loved me too.

My everything was there, standing anxiously less than a dozen feet from me.

He bit his lower lip while we stared at each other, waiting while our souls reunited in the space between us. Even with the distance separating us, I felt the spark ignite, the one I'd been missing with everyone else. It was still there, still strong, like a magnet that had finally found it's mate. The sun reflected off his wrist and I glanced down to see the watch still in place. Swallowing, I tried really fucking hard to convince my feet to walk forward, and they felt clumsy when I took that first step. I was only vaguely aware of setting the beer down on the table as my heart pounded against my ribs and my breath was long gone.

Shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, he ducked his head and shoved his free hand into the pocket of his low slung jeans. Dropping his gaze to my feet, I felt the weight of it crawling up my legs and hips to my bare chest, savoring the view for a few sweet seconds before continuing to my eyes. He watched me through his lashes, lashes I wished to feel feather against me. Then he spoke, and the voice I'd spent so many nights longing to hear caressed my ears and melted my heart.

"Sorry I'm late," he apologized in a murmur, holding out the flowers to me.

"You're here," I breathed, flinging myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and pressing my wet body to his clothed one. "You're here."

"I'm here, baby," he sighed into my skin, his breath sounding like the first real one he'd had since I'd left. He held me tighter than he ever had. "I'm home."

I wasn't sure how long we hugged. I know I feared if I let him go even the slightest bit, the lifelike mirage would fade from my sight, and I wasn't ready for that. If I needed confirmation it was him, and not another man, I belonged with, that was it. Envisioning him when wide awake and completely sober was a new low, even for me.

Perhaps I'd hit my head when I had dived into the pool.

Finally, he lifted his head, taking his soft breaths with him. He had to pry my head from the crook of his neck, but there was no way I was going to let those silky locks slip from my fists. I could see the hesitation and worry clearly etched on his face.

"I've missed you so much, Edward. I know you're busy right now," he spoke quietly so no one would hear him as he glanced over my shoulder to what I imagined were three very curious faces, "but is there some place we could talk later?"

I wanted to tell him we could go anywhere as long as we were together.

Instead, I settled on kissing him.

Crushing my lips to his, I captured his surprised gasp in my mouth. Parting my tingling lips, I moaned when his tongue slipped inside my mouth, caressing my own in swirling movements as his hands skimmed down my damp back and settled on my hips. It was everything a kiss was supposed to be, everything I'd been missing. How could I have ever though anyone besides Jasper could make me feel alive? It was him who breathed life into me, who encouraged my heart to beat.

_Only him. _

With each breath we shared, my heart healed a bit more, each crack filled with moans, velvet tongues, lips brushing back and forth. I twisted my fingers into his amber hair, securing him to me physically, while my soul reached out to grasp his, leading it back into my heart where it would forever remain, where it forever belonged.

Moving from my lips, he kissed his way down my jaw. "You smell different," he murmured against me.

"Chlorine," I answered as I tilted my head back and let him have access to whatever part of me he wanted. He owned it all anyway. "Pool."

My words were broken by breathless whimpers as our fingers dug in each other, his on my hips, mine into his shoulders, as we desperately tried to get even closer. It was physically impossible, but it didn't stop us from trying. It took great effort to lift my head and pull him off my neck. My flesh instantly missed his salving touch, but I needed to look into the blue eyes I'd missed every second. Finally, I opened my eyes and looked into his. Green met blue once again, and in an instant, all that had been wrong for weeks, months, was right. I could honestly say I'd never seen another blue like the color of his eyes right then. A mixture of the ocean we'd sat in front of, the sky that held the rainbow on my flight from Boston, and the color of the swim trunks I was wearing, but it wasn't their color that captured me in their rapt stare, it was what was in them. They weren't empty anymore, they were filled.

With pure, unadulterated love.

For me.

After all that time, all those hours apart, his love for me had never waned, it was as strong and powerful as ever. He was as beautiful as I remembered, as incredible as the memory of him I had carried around daily.

Only know he wasn't a memory anymore, he was flesh and blood.

Without taking his eyes from mine, he reached up and brushed my wet hair off my forehead before resting his there.

"Baby, if you weren't out before, you sure as fuck are now," he whispered lowly. Then he grinned, and the dimples were deep and honest and all mine. Laughter bubbled from me, genuine laughter for the first time since we'd parted. I wanted to say so much to him, I wanted to make love to him, kiss him senseless, and just hold him. I settled on something else entirely, something I hoped might let him know how much I still wanted to do all those things and more.

"I love you," I sighed, brushing my fingers down his cheek and watching his beautiful eyes flutter closed at the tender, meaningful touch. He absorbed the words, caressing his soul and healing both our broken hearts before opening his eyes.

"I love you too. So fucking much," he promised.

And I believed him.

Smiling, I dropped my hand to his on my hip and peeled it off me, lacing our fingers together forever. "I want you to meet my family."

Exhaling a worried breath, he nodded and bent over to pick up the flowers. He must have dropped them while we were kissing. "These are for you."

I took the roses from him, bringing them up to my nose and inhaling the sweet scent. "They're beautiful. Thanks, love."

I squeezed his hand reassuringly, clutching it as I tugged him forward. I walked with him by my side to the table where my family sat. Alice was beaming, her eyes appreciatively roaming over Jasper. My mother was smiling, one hand flattened over her heart as if she'd witnessed something breathtaking. Her other hand rested on my father's on the table. Briefly, her eyes fell to the tightly clasped hands between Jasper and me, but she soon brought her gaze back to our faces.

My father, the man who I had admired and devoted my life to for so long, smiled and stood respectfully as we approached.

Jasper glanced at me, apprehension and hope clashing in his eyes. Leaning into him, I kissed his cheek. "Love you," I murmured to him before turning to my family.

"Mom, Dad, Alice, I'd like you to meet someone," I said confidently. Tilting my head to the side, I rested it on Jasper's shoulder, feeling his warmth soak through his tee shirt. Our arms were twisted to where our hands gripped each other. With a strength it didn't look he had, he clung to me, keeping me tight to his side.

As if I ever wanted to be anyplace else.

It was time to start the life I'd waited twenty-four years for.

And I was going to do it with Jasper by my side.

Forever.

"This is my boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock," I smiled proudly.

"**~~**"

Thank you for reading~

So what did you think? The boys found their way back to each other, like we ever doubted they would! (actually a lot of you did wonder if I pull it off in two chapters) The epilogue should be up in two weeks, and then an outtake or two shortly after.

The trip to Japan was planned before the earthquake, so in the m&a world, that never happened.

Ninjins-carrots, pimans-green peppers, nashi-Japanese pear


	39. All my Heart's Desire

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- It's been seventeen months in the making, but here is the M&A epilogue. There will be a few outtakes after this, though so far only one is written and will be posted shortly, so keep m&a on alert if you're interested.

I hope you all enjoy some fluffy times for all the boys, they deserve it. Epic A/N at the bottom.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"Yeah, fuck, that's it, right there, baby," I grunted, my fingers digging into his shoulders in an effort to get him even closer. Though I wasn't sure that was possible.

The table shifted under my ass, rocking back and forth from the force of his thrusts as his hips slammed into me in a steady, tight rhythm. My legs were locked around his waist, my head lolling back as he sucked and nipped my Adam's apple. His strong arm was wound around my waist, keeping me fused to him as the head of his cock struck my prostate and I groaned loudly. My shirt was draped on the chair to my right, my jeans were on the floor by the refrigerator where Edward had stripped them from me, and my underwear lay on the tile at his feet. They had finally fallen off after he left them dangling on my ankle in his urgency to bury his dick in my ass. His own jeans and briefs were still gathered around his knees. I had no idea where his shirt was, but I remembered yanking it off him and throwing it.

"Harder, fuck me harder," I begged.

Immediately, his hips sped up, like a fucking piston, he jack-hammered his dick into me. Dragging his nails down my back, his lips worked their way over my jaw to my mouth. Slanting his lips over mine, he captured my moans and returned them with equal fervor, all while his body never stopped its course in bringing us both to the edge again and again. My cock throbbed with need, fluid dripped from the slit and ran down the ridge and along the bulging veins. Each thrust of his body into mine only made my cock ache more. Just as I was about to snake a hand between us, I felt his slid across my back, salving the marks he'd just left with the gentlest caresses before skimming over the muscles of my side until he was wrapping his long fingers around my eager length.

He tore his lips from the kiss and moved them to my ear. "Is this what you want? Does my greedy slut want me to fuck him hard and stroke his cock?"

God, I fucking loved it when he talked like that.

"Fuck, yes," I groaned. He teased me with deliberately slow drags of his soft hand until I was literally whimpering and pleading for more. "Baby, you're fucking killing me." I growled at his chuckle when he brought his hips back to an erotic, measured pace.

Nipping at my earlobe, he flicked his tongue over it before returning to my lips. With his eyes holding mine, he sucked my lower lip between his teeth and ran his tongue over the swollen flesh. I sucked in a breath through clenched teeth when he circled his hips, grinding his cock deeper in me.

One long kiss later and I was releasing my hold on his neck and lowering myself to the table. Looking up at him, I watched his eyes fill with desire as they roamed over my vulnerable position. Edward didn't top me often, but when he did, he was fucking amazing. The man knew how to use his cock, and there was nothing more intense than the fervid look on his face as he watched me ready myself for him. Reaching out, he ran the tips of his fingers over my sweat-glistened chest, barely pausing at a nipple before dancing it along the shadows of my abs. His other hand was still on my cock, still teasing me with the tantalizing strokes. As much as I wanted to come, and I really fucking wanted to come, I loved the way he was taking his time, reveling in our coupling, every look, every touch, it all meant so much more now, even during a frenzied fucking.

He released my cock and grabbed my ankles, unwrapping my legs from him. Lifting them up and out, he sank even deeper into me and my back arched off the table. I think there were a few plates near my head, and possibly a glass or two, but all I saw was the man working my body like he played his piano, with talent and skill and precision. He renewed his thrusting, sharply snapping his hips forward. My cock bounced against me, reminding me of its need.

"Touch yourself," he demanded in a throaty murmur.

While one hand gripped the edge of the table for leverage, my other went to my cock, obeying his command. As soon as I fisted my erection, I was furiously pumping from base to tip. A constant stream of keening sounds came from me, some begging, some loving, some unintelligible. Wantonly, I stroked myself, watching Edward's body move with grace. Not a second of any day we'd been together went by that I didn't want to touch him. Sometimes it was just to trace his lips, or kiss his eyelids, other times, I wanted to eat his ass or suck his cock no matter where we were.

Then there was the sex.

We'd made love at least once a day, usually more. Every night we fell asleep a tangled mess of sweaty limbs and sated bodies, and each morning we woke up to do it again. Perhaps we were still in what he called the 'honeymoon stage' where we couldn't get enough of each other, but I didn't think that was it at all. I knew there would never come a day our bodies didn't yearn for the other, there would never be a day they were satisfied with what we could physically provide them with. Our souls constantly wanted the other, and the closer our bodies were, the easier it was for our souls to walk together.

The sweet fire that had been lingering low in my belly began to spread outward. Edward had return to his piston-like thrusting, jarring the table across the floor. His biceps strained as he held my legs up, his eyes darting from mine to where my ass swallowed his cock. I loved watching his body work, the way he licked his lips, the way the sweat ran down between his pecs, the way his abs became more defined with every labored breath he took.

"Gonna come," I panted when the tingling reached my spine, readying to explode.

"Yeah, make yourself come. I want to feel you come with my cock in your tight ass," he encouraged. His dirty words did me in.

Two strokes later, I was screaming his name. My body tensed for a second before it let go, then my cock pulsed and emptied in short bursts, jettisoning cum onto my abs and chest. Slowing my pace, I groaned and convulsed, but my eyes never left his emerald ones. The orgasm clenched my ass around his cock, and he threw his head back.

"Fuck," he roared before pounding into one last time.

Letting go of my legs, he collapsed on me, crushing my sensitive cock between us as he smashed his mouth to mine in a bruising kiss. His pace was jerky as his hips bucked forward while his cock filled the condom with his seed. My hands clawed at his back and I wrapped my legs around him again, holding him to me as I lifted my hips to take whatever he had left to offer, not wanting to miss one second of his cock in me. His tongue plunged into my mouth, swirling and twisting with mine. Cum and sweat adhered our torsos until our breathing gradually return to normal. When he broke the kiss, I carded my fingers through his hair and smiled up at him.

"What's the smile for?"

"You were nervous earlier, but I'm pretty sure you're feeling a lot less nervous now," I answered, satisfied.

He thought for a second, and then nodded. "You're right. A lot less nervous, but also in need of a shower."

Kissing me again, he sighed in perfect contentment. It was a soft sound I'd grown used to hearing. Edward was happy, and as utterly in love as I was.

"We should clean up," he murmured, brushing his lips over mine.

When he didn't make another move, I nudged him. "If we're going to clean up the table, we need to get off it first."

Giggling, another sound he made I adored, he pushed up onto his hands and let his eyes roam my body. Sweat still beaded on my chest, only now it was mixed with my cum and his own sweat. Dipping his head, he took one long lick, lapping all around my chest before kissing me again. Finally, we parted and he eased his dick out of me, tossing the used condom in the trash. I sat up and surveyed the damage.

Luckily, nothing was broken. There were some placemats and silverware on the floor, but the glasses and plates managed to say on the table, although a few were teetering dangerously close on the edge. The refrigerator was still open, the light shining on us like a spotlight for our performance. The pot of water on the stove had boiled up and over the rim and the vegetables Edward had been chopping still sat on the cutting board next to the knife. Edward sighed as he looked at the extra work that now needed to be done. I stroked his cheek and ran my thumb over his lips trying to push away his pout.

"What a mess," he groaned.

"Well, if you hadn't bent over…" I shrugged.

His eyes shot to mine. "I was getting something out of the stove."

Like that was an excuse.

"Baby, with an ass like yours, that's all it takes. You bend, I want. Pretty simple math," I grinned, giving him the dimples he could never resist. Rolling his eyes, he kissed me, but before I could even think to let my tongue enter his mouth and coax him back onto the table with me, he pulled away, almost out of my reach.

"Shower or clean first?"

"Shower."

Helping me and my sore ass off the table, he swayed on shaky legs and had to use me for balance as he kicked off his pants and briefs the rest of the way. Once freed, he took my hand and led me through our bedroom to the master bathroom. Edward started the water and we both stepped into the glass stall. Under the spray, I closed my eyes and let the water run down over my head while Edward moved under one of the other four showerheads and mirrored my position with his head back, letting the water rain over his face. Even after the sex, he still looked tense. I had hoped having his cock in my ass would keep his mind off other matters, make him relax and less anxious about our visitors. But by the stiffness in his shoulders and the tight line of his lips, the sex had relaxed him only for a few minutes.

He was already anxious again.

Just like he had been since he found out they were coming.

I curved my hand around his neck and forced him to look at me. His eyes fluttered opened, wet lashes clumping together, and he gave me a small smile. "Baby, why are you so nervous about this?"

"Because I want everything to be perfect," he admitted softly. I was slightly distracted from his words by the way the water ran in rivulets over his cheeks, nose, and especially his lips, making the swollen, pink flesh enticingly shiny.

"It's Riley. He's used to imperfection," I reasoned with a shake of my head to get the wet curls off my face.

"But Peter isn't," he countered, suddenly exposing the real reason for his distress.

With just three words, everything made sense; the hours he'd spent pouring over recipes looking for the right one, the days of nonstop cleaning even though the maid had come twice that week, and the need to be glued to my side even more than usual. Edward had always been an attentive lover, but since he'd found out about Peter and Riley coming to visit, he'd barely let me leave his side. I reassured him over and over, telling him with touches and whispers how much he meant to me, how happy I was, and that they were just coming for a visit and not to swoop me away.

Dragging my thumb across his lips, I watched them purse and kiss the pad of my finger before I spoke again. "And you think he's going to judge you."

He didn't have to answer, I already knew I was right.

His lids fell over his worried emerald eyes. "No. Maybe. Yes…fuck, I don't know," he sighed.

"Baby, trust me, he's going to be just as nervous as you are," I offered.

We'd known about their trip to Chicago for about a week. Well, I had known. It was two days before I finally had the courage to tell Edward. I knew he'd be excited about seeing Riley, they talked weekly and I'd seen the dirty text messages they'd sent back and forth, but Peter's presence was going to cause some worrying. Peter had called me at work to let me know that he was coming to Chicago on business and would have Riley with him because he didn't want to leave him alone in Seattle. He thought I would want to see Riley and asked if we could get together. Without thinking, I invited them to our place for dinner. As much as Edward wanted to see Riley, he wasn't sure if it was worth the price of having to come face to face with Peter after all these months.

Edward had taken the news of Peter and I better than I'd expected, but he still shied away from thinking about Peter even when it was Edward I woke up with everyday.

Staring at Edward, I thought back to my arrival in Chicago. I had sent a text to Peter letting him know I had landed safely and the car had picked me up. He replied quickly, wishing me luck and if I needed anything, he was only a phone call away. I got a hotel room for the night, barely sleeping before getting up and showering. Outside the hotel, I caught a cab and less than thirty minutes later, I was at the Cullen's doorstep, the flowers in my hand shaking as I rang the doorbell. I knew I had the right address because I felt Edward. The pull I'd felt the second we met and had grown over our time together, strengthened so much it was painful. My heart raced at a punishing pace and my stomach clenched. Every nerve in my body that yearned for him, that lived for him, told me he was near.

After being shown through the beautiful, huge house to a patio in the back, I saw Edward. He was just standing there so casually, and…wet. Dripping wet actually. The swimming shorts he had on clung to hips and thighs, and every delicious inch of his cock. The summer sun had darkened the pale skin I was used to, and his hair was longer. But it was his eyes that transfixed me, capturing me in their rapt, surprised stare of emerald. Embers ignited betweens us whether we wanted them to or not. I apologized for being late and he flung himself at me. When our bodies made contact, mine exploded into a thousand pieces, the pull instantly reconnecting them again.

_This_ was how it was supposed to be.

Never again would I have to look anywhere other than to Edward my heart's desire. The second our lips touched, I knew it was all going to be okay. Everything that had happened, Peter, Riley, Edward's work and family, none of it mattered when he pressed his lips to mine. It was as if we'd never parted, as if I'd held him only minutes before. We were in our own little world for few long minutes, our body's sighing in relief, our souls dancing for joy as they entwined together after too long apart. When we finally broke the kiss, he pulled me over to his family, and while he held my hand and leaned his head on my shoulder, he introduced to his mother, father, and sister.

His father stood, his hand extended and I shook it, greeting him timidly. Then his mother stood, walked around the table, and gave me a surprisingly tight hug, patting me on the back like she'd been waiting for me to arrive. Then there was Alice. She was the smallest thing I'd ever seen, and looked nothing like Edward except for sharing the same shade of eyes. Smirking, she eyed me with a raised brow.

"Alice," Edward warned. I didn't know why, she hadn't done anything, but I think it was one of those brother-sister things.

"He's hot," she grinned at Edward. I blushed harder at her compliment than I did at when Edward said it. Alice followed her mother and gave me a hug. I think she came up about my waist.

I was immediately welcomed and offered to sit down, which I did. I expected Edward to sit across from me, or perhaps next to me, but I never expected him to sit on my lap, letting me touch him so freely. Loosely, I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed his bare, sun-warmed shoulder. Without any effort, I was engulfed in their conversation, answering a few questions shot at me from different directions. Edward guided me through it all, laughing and teasing right along with them. Edward told them we'd met in Seattle, and had been seeing each other for a long time. His mother and Alice were very polite and friendly. After all I had heard about his father, I'd expected some bad ass, grumpy old man, but he was just the opposite. He was younger than I had thought, and quite handsome with soft brown eyes contrasting his blond hair. Mr. Cullen smiled often and easily, asking a few questions, but always respectful. Never once did he look at me strangely, or squirm at the sight of his son sitting on a man's lap. When Edward leaned back against me, sealing his back to my chest, I felt his fingers lace with mine and he vibrated with a purr.

There in my arms in front of his family, he was so…comfortable.

We stayed there for a few hours before Edward said he wanted to go home. His mother and Alice hugged me again, and his father shook my hand and said he was glad to see Edward so happy. Edward carried his flowers and led me through the house and told me to wait by the door, where I'd left my luggage. He ran up the stairs, reappearing a minute later with some clothes. After grabbing his keys off a table, he took my hand and dragged me to his car.

As we entered the city, I stared up at the buildings, completely in awe of them as he drove through the streets. He randomly named some of them between smiles and a few 'I can't believe you're here'. Arriving in front of a beautiful mirrored building, he pulled into a reserved space in a parking garage. Only a few minutes later, he was unlocking his door and escorting me inside.

His apartment was beautiful, and huge. Three times the size of my place, it was sparsely furnished with elegant furniture. A black piano sat in the corner of the living room with walls of glass behind it. I'd barely put my bag down and he was throwing himself at me. The only words spoken were "I love you" and "make love to me now."

He led me to his bedroom where we stripped and spent hours reacquainting our hands and mouths to every inch of each other's bodies. There was kissing and grinding and murmurs. When I finally hooked his legs around my arms and sank into him, the world stilled. Every second of anguish and pain was forgotten, replaced with a future of love and passion. As I gently pumped in and out of him, I whispered how much I loved him, missed him, and needed him. He returned the vows with murmurs of his own, cupping my cheek and gazing up at me. Releasing his leg, I wiped away the tear rolling down his face. I was pretty sure he did the same thing for me.

"I…I…" he stuttered searching for words that didn't exist as we neared our climaxes together.

"I know, baby, I know."

And I did.

I knew everything he was feeling and wanted to say because I felt it all too. We came in a flurry of thrusts and strokes, our mouths latched to each other as he coated us with cum and I left mine in the condom. Finally, things were as they should be. We were together.

For two days straight, we made love, showered, ate, slept, and made love again. Edward had made a few phone calls and sent text messages but that was our only connection to the outside world. The sex was amazing, it was everything, and more, it ever had been. Each time my cock entered his ass was better than the time before, and he felt tighter and hotter every time. On the second night, we were snuggled on his bed. I was on my back and he was coiled next to me, his arm and leg draped over me as he tried to catch his breath. His cum was still cooling on my chest when he spoke.

"Love, we need to talk," he sighed, lifting his head and putting his chin on my chest.

I nodded, running my hand up and down his back. I'd feared those words since I'd arrive, but we did need to talk. There were things he needed to know. Peter. Riley. Work. None of it had been discussed since I'd showed up on his doorstep.

"Me first," I whispered, kissing his temple.

I began to tell him everything, from James threatening Riley, to meeting Peter, to Riley's rehab and Peter loaning me the money for it, and finally to leaving the Service and living with Peter. Between my pauses when I was unsure how to word things and answering his questions, it had taken a few hours to tell it all. There was no denying the hurt that flashed in his eyes when Peter was mentioned, when I explained what had happened with Mr. Jones, and how I'd been able to leave the Service only with Peter's offer of a place to live and employment. I was sure to tell Edward I could have afforded to live on my own with the money Peter paid me, but that I didn't want to be alone, I wanted to be with Peter.

The hardest part was admitting how I had ended up in Peter's bed night after night, how eventually that arrangement had led to sex. There were a few tears shed, and unable to hear the words I was saying Edward had to turn away a few times, but never once did he leave the room, or even separate his body from mine. He was still in my embrace, his heart was still beating against my side. Finally, I told him how the only reason I was able to come to Chicago was because Peter had volunteered to look after Riley.

There was a long silence when I was done, and part of me, the part that had survived years of rape and living on the streets, waited for him to get up and throw my ass out. Maybe it was a good thing I hadn't unpacked yet. His eyes closed as the words of the past few months sat heavily between us.

When too much silence had passed, I started chewing on my lip. My hand still roamed his back, his body was still pressed to me, and that was the only thing giving me any hope of salvaging us. I began to think coming had been a bad idea. It was going to hurt so much more than before when I had to crawl out of his bed and go back to Seattle.

"Edward?" I prompted dryly, barely able to speak around the lump that had wedged in my throat. "Are you okay?" Thick lashes fluttered and his gaze immediately went to mine. I swallowed thickly and licked my lips.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It just…stings." He glanced away, thinking, but then looked back at me. "I want to hate him, Jasper. A fucking lot actually. I want to hate that you went to him and not me-"

"I-"

He stopped me with a raised hand. "I know why you couldn't. I understand it. But I still wish you could have. At least then I would owe him less than I do," he sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"He's the reason you're here with me, love. He _saved_ you. He took care of that James guy, helped you with Riley, got you out of the Service, and now he's watching over Riley for you. If…if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't be here right now." He leaned forward and kissed me softly. "I want to hate him so much, but I could never hate the man that helped you like that, who helped bring you back to me."

Relieved, my heart began to beat again.

"It's almost like he's your Wizard."

"Tin Man actually," I corrected him under my breath and he raised an eyebrow. "Forget it."

Long fingers were stroking the pulse in my wrist near the watchband. The tip of a finger slid the band back and forth as far as it would go, and I glanced down to watch the movement. "I never took it off," I whispered. When I lifted my eyes again, his were already studying me. "I wanted to a few times, but I couldn't. It was the one promise I made that I could keep."

Lifting my hand, he kissed my wrist. "I hoped you kept it on." We were quiet for a minute, then he smiled. "I can't believe you got your GED, I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," I smiled. "Peter says I can take some college classes if I wanted to."

"You can. We've got some great colleges here." As soon as the words left his mouth, he frowned and his brows knitted together.

"What's wrong?" I asked, using my free hand to thread through his hair.

"I never even thought to ask, I just…are you staying?" Confused, I tilted my head and he explained. "Are you here to stay?"

A smile spread across my face, actually I think it'd never left, and I nodded. "I'm here as long as you want me. This is my home."

He kissed me, not the brief kiss from earlier, but deep and passionate. I loved the way his body felt as he moved against me and on me as the kiss intensified. A few minutes later I was murmuring in his ear.

"Please take me, baby, I want to feel you inside me."

He did just that, taking me gently as he moved in me and on me, his eyes never leaving mine. His cock gently glided in and out of my ass as he made me his again. After the discussion we'd had, it was something he needed to do, he needed to feel me under him, writhing and begging for only him.

When we were finished, the condom in the trash and our bodies still slick with sweat, his body lay flush on mine, his legs between my spread ones and his arms folded on my chest while my hands danced along the knots in his spine. I loved it when he shuddered on me and our cocks twitched together. Never once did he take his eyes from mine, but mine occasionally fell to his lips as he spoke about how hurt he was when I hadn't arrived at the airport, and how he decided he needed to clear his head. Then he began to tell me about his time in Japan.

And Spencer.

"Living with him was fine, actually it was nice. He was a good distraction, and his language skills were fantastic. There's a lot of Americanization over there, but there was so much in Japanese. He never pushed me to tell him what happened between you and me, but I'd told him anyway. He cooked most of the meals, kept me on schedule. He was a good friend. Then one night…"

"What?" I prompted when he hesitated. "What happened, baby? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no, noting like that. He felt bad I was so sad all the time, so he asked me out to dinner and to a club. Not a date, but just to get me out of the apartment, and I agreed. Dinner was fine, and we went to a dance club where I had some drinks. A lot actually, and when we got back to the apartment…"

"You slept with him," I sighed.

He lowered his eyes from mine and nodded. "I was drunk, and I blame that night on the alcohol, but then the next morning, he was there, Jasper, and he wanted me, and I thought, I mean I _knew_ you and I were done, and I just hurt so much all the fucking time. I just wanted it to stop. To feel forget and feel normal, if only for a few minutes."

Craning my neck, I brushed my lips over his. "I'm here now, baby."

"I thought I could fuck you out of my system, but it didn't work. Physically he felt nice, but everything else felt wrong. Then he left to go get more condoms, and while he was gone, I took a shower and what had happened kind of hit me. I began to realize I needed to start living my life for me and not you or him or anyone else. I deserved to be happy. So I left Japan and flew home. I called a board meeting at work and came out in front of my father and all the board members." The corners of his lips curled up when he spoke.

"Seriously? You came out to your father in front of all those people?"

"Yep, twelve men." He beamed proudly.

"Baby, you've got balls!" I chuckled.

"I was scared shitless, trust me. But my dad took it in stride, he told the other board members if they had a problem with it, they could leave. My mom and Alice were both fine with it. Although Alice kept trying to set me up on dates."

"Did you go?" I asked curiously. By the way he avoided my eyes, I assumed his answer was yes, but I had only been partially right.

"Now with the guy she wanted me to, but I have been dating."

"Tell me?" I didn't know why I needed to know, I knew it might hurt, but I had a thirst to know everything about his time apart from me, even the gritty details about him and other men.

"I've been seeing a nice guy named Colin. He works for the PR firm that handled my coming out. Before the board meeting, we met for lunch and I told him what I was planning on doing. We kind of hit it off and he suggested we go out. At first, I said no, but then I decided I need to try it, so I agreed. We've done dinner, movies, lunches."

"Have you slept with him?"

He shook his head, blushing as he said, "We've haven't fucked, but we've done everything else. I was trying to move on from you but I failed."

I shouldn't have been relieved at his failure, but I was. The thought of Edward with other men ignited a flare of jealousy. It wasn't fair of me, not given my job and how many times he'd watched me leave him to go have sex with another man, and the fact that I had just come from another man's arms, and as much as I realized that the jealousy was unfair, it apparently wasn't enough to prevent it.

"You didn't fail, it was just going to take time."

"Yeah, like forever."

"Are you still seeing Colin?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"I was supposed to have brunch with him yesterday, but I was busy being fucked on my piano. I did text him and let him know I wouldn't be there. I do need to call and talk to him though, and tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"That you and I are together, that the meaning for living walked back into my life and there is no way in hell I am going to let him go ever again."

Smiling, I drew him to me for a kiss, welcoming his tongue into my mouth to swirl with mine before he moved back, leaving on a few inches between us. He was still resting comfortably on me, then suddenly, he was gone. I lay there watching as he walked across his bedroom to his closet.

"Holy shit," I murmured when he flicked on a light.

The masculine dark wood was illuminated by fixtures set in the ceiling. There were two selves covered in the same colored boxes that ran along the top. Under the shelves on the left were poles set at two different levels with color coordinating jackets, dress shirts, and pants hanging on them. On the opposite wall were the two shelves with one pole under them, and then more staggered shelving and drawers. The last wall was set up like the others, only there was a large three way mirror on it as well. I could see shoes lining a rack on the floor, and ties, also sorted by color, hanging above them. In the middle of the room was a leather ottoman.

Edward casually dragged the ottoman to the end. I admired his ass as he got on it and stretched up to one of the shelves, pulling down one of the cream colored boxes. Once he had it, he stepped down and rejoined me on the bed. Sitting with his legs crossed in front of him, he handed me the box.

"I got this for you when I thought you were coming out here," he said quietly.

Glancing at him, I lifted the cover off the box. The first thing I saw was a Wizard of Oz DVD. Pulling it out, I smiled and ran my hands over the scarecrow on the cover. There was a twinge in my heart. Having Edward in front of me was a good salve for the ache, but I still missed my whore.

"Can we watch it?" I asked and he nodded.

"Sure, but there's one more thing," he said, motioning to the box. Setting the DVD down, I looked inside again and saw a book. I reached in and ran my finger along the cover. "You can take it out."

"It looks so old," I murmured.

"It's okay."

Lifting it, I took it out and set it on my lap. "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz," I read aloud.

The cover was mostly off-white with red and green letters. Under the title was a green box with the cowardly lion drawn in the same tan as the rest of the book except for his mane, which was red like the text and had a bow in it.

The cowardly lion.

My Edward.

Although after all he'd told me, going to Japan, coming out, trying to move on with his life, he was anything but cowardly. He was brave and confident and strong.

"It's beautiful," I sighed, looking up at Edward.

"It's a first edition. I just thought the movie meant so much to you, maybe you'd like this too."

I traced the lion's mane. "I didn't even know it was a book."

"Really?"

Shaking my head, I opened the book and smiled when I saw the scarecrow and tin man. When the tears pricked my eyes, I let them fall, making sure they didn't land on the pages of the book.

"I hope those are happy tears," he whispered.

"They are," I answered, giving him a smile.

We spent the rest of the night watching the movie and eating popcorn. The next morning I woke up before Edward. Not wanting to disturb him, I reached for the book on the table and opened it up. After flipping through a few pages, I began reading it, savoring every word. When I looked over at Edward sleeping next to me, I let a tear fall for the anguish he'd suffered because of me. Each second we were together healed a bit more of the pain, and I knew we had a long way to go. Like the great Oz told the Tin Man, hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.

It wasn't until the next day when I was unpacking my bag with Edward's help that he asked about Teddy. I told him I had left him with Riley because Riley needed him more. Edward didn't say anything, but he smiled and kissed me.

The water running down my face and my thumb still rubbing Edward's luscious bottom lip pulled me from the memories that had quickly flashed through my mind. It seemed like only yesterday, I couldn't believe I'd already been in Chicago for eight months. The warm summer sun I'd arrived in had turned to a brutal cold wind and snow, which was finally easing into slightly thawing spring temperatures.

"Pft, I doubt he'll be nervous. Why is Riley bringing him again?" he whined.

"He's bringing Riley," I corrected. "Peter's got business in the office this week. He wanted to bring Riley because he knew we would want to see him. Besides, you know Riley doesn't do well alone."

"But they're not a couple?"

"Nope. Though probably not for lack of Riley trying," I chuckled. I'd gotten many frustrated texts from him telling me his dick was raw from all the self love.

Resigned, Edward nodded. "It's going to be a long week knowing you're working with Peter every day. It's bad enough you talk to him so much."

"Are you jealous, baby?" I murmured.

"No," he answered immediately, and then shrugged. "Maybe."

"You're adorable when you're jealous," I told him, hungrily licking my lips. "But you've got no reason to be. Except for tonight, I will barely see him while he's here. He's here to work out contracts with a few companies, and meet with Colin. Besides, it's you I'm coming home to every night."

I remembered the first time Edward had figured it all out. A few nights after I'd arrived we were sitting naked on couch inhaling Chinese food, refueling for our next round of fucking when Edward asked about my new job.

"What is it you do exactly?"

"I'm a booking agent. I match clients up with locations for their meetings, get-a-ways, press conferences, shit like that. I scout out the places, arrange caterers and stuff."

"And you do this for Peter's company?"

"Yeah, he hired me as soon as I got my GED. He pays me what I was making at the Service, although some goes right back to him."

"How come?" he mumbled around a chicken finger.

"I'm paying him back for Riley's rehab. I've paid off seven thousand so far. I didn't really need money when I was living with him, so I just gave him a thousand a week, but he insisted I save some too. He helped me open a bank account."

"I wonder if our company has one of those," he said idly. "I'll have to ask around. What kind of company does he have again?"

"Public relations, mostly for companies in the medical field. Hospitals, doctors."

His brows furrowed as he dug into the carton for just the right chicken finger. Suddenly his head snapped up and his emerald eyes widened. "Wait, did you say the guy you needed to check in with at work is named Colin?"

"Yeah, why?" I took a bite of fried rice.

"Oh my God."

"What?"

"Oh my God," he repeated.

I reached over and grabbed his wrist. "What?"

"What's Peter's last name?"

"Carlson. It's called-"

"Carlson's Public Relations," he supplied.

"How did-"

"That's our PR firm, love. It's the one I used to for coming out. Colin, the guy you're supposed to meet in a few days? I'm pretty damn sure it's the guy I was dating."

"That'll be awkward. What if he doesn't like me now?" I frowned.

Edward's lips on mine stirred my cock and brought my mind back to him and the shower, and the fact we were naked and soapy. But before I had the chance to feel his slippery skin, he shook his head.

"We don't have time, we need to clean up the kitchen and I need to finish dinner."

We got out and dried off, each throwing on a pair of sweatpants. "I'll clean and you cook," I told him as we stood in the kitchen looking over the mess we'd created.

"I can't believe we did all this."

"Me either. It was totally worth it though."

"Mmm," he moaned.

Kneeling, I picked up silverware, napkins and placemats from the floor and then cleared off the table to scrub it down and reset it. Wiping a damp cloth over the heavy oak table, I moved to the music Edward had playing.

I thought my life had changed a lot when I had first gotten off the streets, but I had still been a hooker, just with a roof over my head. It wasn't until I landed in Chicago that my life had really changed.

Only a little more than a year before I was waking up on the cement floor of an abandoned building, with Riley. I had to steal clothes to wear and food to eat. There was no showering or shaving. When I ate, it was usually food found in a dumpster, to say nothing of how I made what little money I did. If I wasn't getting fucked by some stranger, I was giving him head or a hand job.

Now I was waking up in Edward's arms in a beautiful apartment overlooking Lake Michigan. After showering in a stall with multiple showerheads, I dressed in designer suits and went to work in a tall, fancy office building. I was meeting Edward for lunches and attending benefits and functions every few weeks. Even after going to as many as I had, they still made me anxious. Edward would always laugh and squeeze my hand, telling me it was going to be okay.

I'd never been more frightened than I was before the first one we went to after I had only been in town for less than a month. He promised Bella and Emmett would be there. We'd gone out with them a few times, they both accepted me for who I was, and while Emmett's size was intimidating, he was just a big Teddy bear. Bella took a shine to me immediately, only warning me once to not hurt Edward again. Spencer was also going to be at the benefit, and I was nervous he would reveal my true past, but Edward assured me over and over that Spencer wouldn't do that. When we went, I met someone else from Edward's history, someone he'd never told me about.

_Kate._

Edward hummed to himself in the kitchen as he moved around the kitchen while I set the table with the Chinaware and crystal. Our long days usually meant we ate out of pizza boxes or Chinese food containers, so I had to ask him which side the spoons went on. Once the table was reset and the clothes were off the floor and hidden in our room, I swept the kitchen and then made sure the rest of the house was tidy. I lit some candles on the mantel and dusted the piano.

Smiling, I remembered the shock on his face when I had told him I wanted to show him something. He watched in awe as I sat at the piano and began to clumsily play the one song I partially knew. The notes were off, and I had to stop and start a few times, and it sounded nothing like the beauty Edward created every time he sat on the bench. Having memorized the short song, I played it all the way through one time, concentrating so hard on where to put my fingers that I hadn't noticed he'd moved from the couch to stand next to the piano. When I was done, I looked up to find moisture in his eyes and a smile teasing his lips.

"That was beautiful."

"Bullshit," I chuckled and stood up. Stepping to him, I curled a hand around his neck and sweetly brushed my lips over his. "But thank you for saying so."

"How…"

"I taught myself. I couldn't bear to leave the piano when I moved in with Peter, so I brought it with me. It hurt to see it every day, but I wanted to learn how to play for you, even if you weren't there to hear it." He trapped my lips with his in a heated kiss as he whispered how much he loved me.

From that night on, Edward and I tried to sit at the piano for at least a few minutes every night so he could teach me. Sometimes we actually played, and sometimes his naked ass ended up on the lacquered surface as I fucked him and told him how much I loved my piano lessons.

As I rearranged the pictures on top of the shiny piano, I recalled Edward's hurt voice as he told me how he'd destroyed them all, shattering the glass and frames. I hadn't been able to that. Before I'd turned the phone into the Service, I emailed all my pictures to myself. When Edward found out I still had access to our weekend at the beach, he printed them out and bought new frames. Added to the ones of us from the beach were one of me in front at the top of the Broadway sign for The Wizard of Oz, and one of us both in front of Dorothy's ruby slippers at the Smithsonian. Both had been taken during a trip to the east coast. The last stop on our trip had been the beach house.

We made love on the same bed where Edward had topped me for the first time. We also fucked on the balcony, and after much begging, I managed to talk him into having sex on the beach. Although he insisted it be in the middle of the night and we use a blanket. Pouting, I agreed to both conditions. There was nothing more erotic than watching Edward ride me with the moon glowing on the water behind him, and I came within minutes of him impaling himself on me. Many hours were spent on the whale rock. He told me about coming there after Japan, explaining how he had to say goodbye to me so he could move on, but that he never truly did.

"You'll never have to do that again," I whispered, holding him tightly. "I'm not ever leaving you again."

He looked away. "Even if Riley asked you to?"

It was a question I been anticipating, and knew Edward had wanted to ask. I was in Chicago, vowing to stay, but what if the reason I'd hadn't come to Chicago the first time needed me back with him.

"I don't think that would happen. He knows that I need you, that I can't function without you."

"He knew that before."

"No, not like he does now. He might have known it, but he didn't get it, not until rehab. Besides, if he needs me, he can come here. Or you and I can go there, but either way, I'm not leaving you."

"Promise?" he choked out.

"I promise I'm never leaving, baby," I murmured into a kiss before lowering him the rock and covering his body with mine.

Not all of our times were always so happy. There were arguments, moments when we both said some harsh words about Spencer, Peter, and even Riley, throwing our pasts in each other's faces strictly to hurt the other. The veins in his neck bulged as he pinched the bridge of his nose and my chest heaved as I paced and ran my hand through my hair. The air crackled around us as we glared unwaveringly at each other. He accused me of rebounding with Peter because I was too weak to let go of a whore, and I accused him of having to move to Japan just to fuck a guy.

Minutes later, his lips were on mine while our hands undid pants and yanked off shirts. Once his pants were off, I grabbed a condom and lube. He readied himself while I put the condom on. My pants were still around my ankles when I lifted Edward and he wrapped his legs around me. Slamming him against the wall, I plunged into him. Nails raked down my back and hands tugged on my hair. I held his ass while I thrust into him, nipping and biting his lips. Untouched, his cock erupted, and a few pumps of my hips later, I followed him.

When we sunk to the floor, gasping for breath, Edward started chuckling.

"What the fuck are you laughing at?" I asked, my body sated, but my mind still recalling the argument.

"That was fucking hot make up sex," he murmured before capturing my lips.

I didn't like arguing with Edward, I didn't like the words we said sometimes, but the fighting was part of the healing process. We both knew without a doubt that no matter what was said, we would be in each other's arms afterwards, and that was all that mattered.

Entering the kitchen, I kissed Edward's neck. "Still nervous, baby?" I asked against his warm, freshly showered skin. He nodded, but his smile told me the nod was only to encourage more effort from me to help him relax. "Remember the day last fall we met in the park for lunch?"

"Mmm," he moaned, leaning into my body. "That was so hot."

Edward and I met in the park near his building for lunch. I treated him to a chili dog from the vender and we sat down under the shade of a tree. Laughing, I watched Edward try to eat the chili dog without spilling any of it on his shirt. When we were done, our bottled water empty and our chili dog wrappers in the trash, Edward lay down on his side propped up on his elbow with his head resting on his hand.

"What?" I asked when he wouldn't stop staring at me.

"You look beautiful today," he smiled, his eyes squinting in the sun.

Running a hand through his hair, I tilted his head back and kissed him quickly, pulling away before drawing too much attention. Mirroring his position, I lay down facing him. "I wish I could fuck you right here."

"Jesus," he groaned. "You can't say shit like that to me in public."

"Why not?" I shrugged. "I know you're thinking about it."His blush told me I was right. "You want me to reach over, undo your pants and stroke your cock, don't you?"

"Jasper…."

I moved closer, my breath caressing his lips as I spoke. "Then maybe pull your cock out and suck you while these people just go about their day."

"Fuck," he moaned. "I want to do that so fucking much." He shifted, bringing his free hand to adjust his growing erection.

"Because you're a slut," I smiled. "I love how your cock is pressing against your slacks. I bet other people see it too and wonder what I'm saying to you that has you so hard. Maybe they want to watch us go at it. Not sure I want to share your beautiful cock with them though."

"Please, love, you need to...stop," he stuttered over the last word. It wasn't what he really wanted to say.

"Tell me, would you want me fuck you hard and fast, completely naked in front of them all? Or would you want to fuck my mouth, clothed so people might not see everything? Or maybe a hidden handjob so they only see my hand in your pants…how do you want it?" I knew every word I said was pushing him closer.

"Fuck me naked," he admitted breathlessly.

"Yeah? You want them to see you on all fours while I fuck your tight ass? Let them see your cock bounce with each thrust, or maybe I pull you upright so you're on my lap, they can see everything…your face, chest, legs, dick. I bet the guys would love to see your dick."

Clearing his throat, he closed his eyes. His fisted hand remained on his hip, the knuckles turning white with the effort of restraining from touching himself. I couldn't take my eyes off the way his tongue ran along his lower lip. My own erection was throbbing as much as his was, but getting him off was more important. To anyone walking by, we looked like two guys having a conversation intimate conversation. Granted, we were probably closer than most straight guys, we certainly didn't look like we were ready to fuck each other.

"You want more, baby, or want me to stop?"

"More," he murmured.

"That's my slut. You sit on me while I fuck you, wrap an arm around my neck and kiss me while I play with your nipples. A crowd gathers and watches the way you move on me, entranced by the arch of your back and the cum on your cock." I paused, studying his reaction in case he wanted me to stop. His breathing increased and I continued. "While we're kissing, I run my hand down your abs to your cock, teasing it lightly before finally gripping it."

"Fuck yeah, stroke me," he whispered.

"Gonna stroke you hard. My dick is filling your ass as I pump you. You're crying out, putting on a show for everyone. A few guys are touching themselves because we're so hot. Some other guys are encouraging us for more. So we give it to them. I stroke you fast, your hips start bucking like a fucking freight train. We're still kissing and you come, you come so fucking hard you shoot your load all over the grass, and then I pull out and come on your back, marking you for everyone to see."

Edward grunted, and unable to stop himself, he pressed his hand to his crotch. As soon as it made contact with his dick, he came. It was barely noticeable, his lips parted and his body stilled, but the sounds he made were fucking amazing, soft, barely audible whimpers. When he was nothing more than a sated body gasping for breath, he lifted his hand from his crotch.

Immediately my eyes shot down to see if there was a telltale sign of what had happened. The spot could have easily been mistaken for a grease spot from his chili dog. When he finally felt brave enough, he opened his eyes to find me grinning at him. Glancing down his body, he was relieved to see the spot was pretty small.

"Thank God my underwear is thick," he muttered, "and that I've got spare pair of pants at work."

"I think we should do this every day," I smiled, learning forward to another quick kiss. "That was hot."

Shy emeralds dragged up my body. "Do you want me to…um…"

"Return the favor?" I asked and he nodded. "Nah, if I need to, I'll take care of myself back at the office."

Groaning, he closed his eyes. "God, that's so fucking hot."

Leaning forward, I traced his lips and mumbled, "I'll be thinking of you when I do it."

In the kitchen, Edward leaned into me slightly. "I loved making you come like that."

"Me too," he agreed, then shook his head and shoved me back. "Go away, I need to focus on dinner. I'm not getting anything done with you here."

"Okay, okay," I said laughing, "I'm going to get dressed."

Smiling at me over his shoulder, he asked, "Oh, can you feed Toto?"

"Sure," I said, opening the cupboard and grabbing a can of dog food. "Toto!"

The jingle of dog tags could be heard three rooms away as Toto trotted toward the sound of my voice. As soon as the she entered the kitchen, her tail wagged and she looked up at me.

Toto had been an unexpected surprise. One Saturday about a month after I'd arrived, we'd slept in and then gone out for brunch. We were walking hand in hand downtown, doing some window shopping when we came across an animal shelter that housed small dogs and cats. Edward almost bumped into me when I stopped short to stare at the kittens climbing over each other in the window display.

"They're so cute," I smiled.

"Have you ever had a pet?" I just shook my head and he tugged on my arm. "C'mon, let's go see."

We went inside and I was immediately drawn to the adorable kittens with their blue eyes and round little bellies. They were so playful and bit my hand when I patted them. Edward finally dragged me away from the kittens and we wandered down the rows, looking at the dogs in their kennels and the cats in the stacked cages. I stopped and looked at each one, no matter how cute or big or small. A brown and white dog caught my attention. She was leaning against the bars of her kennel, her floppy ear sticking out as she eagerly looked up at me. When I reached out to pat her, her tail thumped on the cement floor and I swear she smiled. One of her eyes was a dark brown, but the other was more faded, cloudy. Glancing up at the information card, I read she was blind in one eye. She was blind in one eye, homeless, stuck in a cage with little hope, and yet her tail still wagged. She reminded me of another hopeful brown-eyed homeless person I had known. My heart ached for her as much as it had him.

"Did someone give her up because she's broken?" I asked Edward when he walked over to me.

"I don't know, love, maybe. Sometimes people lose their jobs and can't afford to feed them or pay for the vet care, sometimes they just don't want them because they're not a cute kitten or puppy anymore."

"Assholes," I muttered as I reached through the bars and rubbed the beagle's head. She looked up at me with her one good eye and I almost cried. "We have to take her. No one else will take her."

"Love, we can't have a dog."

"Why? The building won't allow it?"

"No, they allow pets, but we're not home enough. They need to be walked and they like to be around people. You and I are gone most of the day, and then there are our business trips."

"Edward," I looked up at him from my crouched position, "how can you resist that face?"

He tore his eyes from me and looked at her. I knew his argument was crumbling the longer he stared at her sweet, innocent expression and floppy ears.

I stood up and scanned the kennel. "They don't have homes. No one wants them. Someone saved me from the streets, I should pay in advance."

"Pay it forward," he corrected with a kiss to my cheek.

"Yeah, that's it." I kneeled down and rubbed her head again, laughing when she groaned and pushed against my hand.

"She certainly likes you," he acknowledged. "She's a cute beagle."

"Beagle?"

"It's the breed of dog she is. Like Snoopy."

"Who?"

"The dog from Charlie Brown?"

"Someone you work with?"

"No, love, a comic strip. I'll show you tomorrow."

"Are you a cute beagle?" I asked her, rubbing her head. She licked my hand and I laughed, looking up at Edward.

"I suppose we could see if my parents could watch her when we were out of town. And maybe if we hired a dog walker…"

Standing, I flung myself at Edward and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my lips to his in a brief kiss. "Thank you, baby, you won't regret it."

"Welcome, love," he murmured through a smile. While I watched over the beagle, glaring at anyone that walked by her, Edward got one of the workers. The girl let us take the dog into a room and play with her for a few minutes. The second she licked Edward's hand, he was a goner.

We went to the counter and filled out some paperwork. I looked around at all the homeless animals, each hoping the next person that walked in was going to fall in love with them.

"How can someone not want them all?" I sighed.

When Edward went to write the check for the adoption fee, he made it for a few thousand dollars more than they charged. The girl was speechless as she took the check from him, even asking Edward if he was sure. He glanced at me and nodded.

"Just paying it forward," he responded to her.

The shelter tossed in a new collar, leash, and some dog treats, but Edward and I went to a pet store and bought the place out. We left with so many bags we had to take a cab back to the apartment. The beagle sat on my lap and licked Edward's jaw all the way home. He never stopped laughing.

"You've got some competition, love," he giggled.

When we got home, I unlocked the door and led the dog inside. "You're new home!" I said excitedly as I let her off the leash to explore. Edward set out her new bed and toys while I put her dog food and treats away. We watched as she sniffed everything and finally came back over to us and looked up, wagging her tail.

"We need to name her," Edward said.

"Toto." Was there any other dog name?

Edward kneeled and picked her up. "Toto it is," he said holding her as he leaned over to kiss me.

A few weeks later we decided that Toto needed company during the day and we came home with a Siamese mix with light blue eyes and the softest fur. We named her Toto Too, laughing at our own creativity so hard we cried.

They were both an important part of our lives. Toto Too would curl up on our laps while Toto lay by our feet as we watched television. Even though they both had their own beds, they somehow ended up on ours almost nightly. We had a dog walker come by every day to walk Toto while we were working, but we did it early mornings, nights, and weekends. Taking long strolls with her had become one of our favorite things to do.

We paid it forward in another way as well. Edward had told me about a local homeless shelter he'd donated stuff to. The stuff he had bought for me in hopes I would have been on that fated flight. Once he told me about it, I became curious and asked him to show me the shelter. He did, and I went inside, looking around at the unknown faces that looked so familiar. The woman working recognized Edward and thanked him profusely for his donation. I was surprised she was so thankful considering it had just been some toiletries and dry goods. She gave us a tour of the place and by the time we left, we were agreeing to go back the following weekend to help work in the soup kitchen. Every time we left, Edward would always run back inside because he 'forgot something'. I knew that 'something' was a donation. I was never sure of the amounts, but I knew Edward was giving them more at one time then they saw in a month.

"Who's the prettiest girl?" I spoke to Toto in a baby voice. Behind me, I heard Edward laughing. "What?"

"You spoil her," he chided.

"Well, why not? I was homeless and now I'm spoiled, I can relate," I explained with a smile.

"You think you're spoiled?"

"Are you kidding? Have you looked around this place? Hell, just having hot water and food is being spoiled. People take that shit for granted," I said, bending over to rub Toto's head. When I straightened, Edward was there to hug me. "What's this for?"

"You've adjusted to this lifestyle so well, sometimes I forget how hard you had it," he confessed quietly.

"It doesn't matter, I'm here now."

He released me and continued to cook. I emptied the dog food into Toto's bowl. "I'm going to go get dressed."

"I'm sure they would prefer just like you are," he chuckled. Smacking his ass, I walked by and left the kitchen.

"I'm sure they would both prefer us naked," I called out over my shoulder.

In the bedroom, I passed Teddy on the bed and opened the top drawer of the dresser to find some underwear. Shuffling through the briefs, I came upon the postcards bound in a rubber band. Sighing, I stared at the glossy picture of the floating fountains in Osaka. I knew the one under it was a castle, and the next one was the Osaka skyline. I knew them all because I'd flipped through them many times, reading the sad scrawl on the backs. The words changed, but the desperation behind them never did. There was a tangible anguish in each word, and the more I read them, the more I could feel it. It was a pain I'd unknowingly shared with him thousands of miles away. While I'd been in Seattle, trying to live my shattered life, I knew he blamed me, was angry at me for what I'd done, and the way I'd done it. But it wasn't until I saw the postcards that I realized the amount of love that had been mixed with the anger and blame.

The first time I'd seen them, Edward was on the bed. Stretched out and naked after making love, he asked me to get him something from his drawer. I don't even remember what it was, but when I opened the drawer, I saw the pile of bound cards. Not asking him, I picked them up and flipped them over to see the writing. The one on the top was to me. My breath caught in my throat and he heard the gasp.

"Jasper?"

"What are these?" I asked, turning around and holding the pile out to him.

"Nothing," he replied, "Just put them away."

"No, I want to know," I insisted. Looking back at the cards, I lifted the top one to see the next one was also to me, and the one under that. All of them were to me, but none of them were addressed. "What are these, Edward?"

He pushed himself up so he was sitting and folded his legs. "I bought them in Japan. One for each day I was there. I don't know why, I guess after getting rid of all the stuff that reminded me of you, I needed a connection. I bought them, wrote them, but I knew I would never mail them." His eyes fell to the blanket as he toyed it with his fingers. "I think somehow they made me feel closer to you, like you were still in my life even though you weren't. Maybe because I was telling you all the stuff I felt."

Still standing by the dresser as naked as he was, I listened to the pain in his voice brought back by the cards. "I'm so sorry, baby."

"I didn't intend for you to ever see those," he sighed. Walking over the bed, I sat next to him and handed them to him.

"Will you show them to me now?"

"I don't…"

"Tell me what they are?"

He gazed at me, judging my resolve before taking the cards. He didn't like it when I made him read the back of each one after he told me what the picture on the front was. By the time he reached the last one, I was sitting next to him with my head on his shoulder, reading them with him. They were filled with such agony and sorrow and anger.

And a never ending love weaved throughout the letters.

While I'd kept the piano in my life to remind me of him every day, Edward had written postcards. As much as it had pained us, we both needed the connection to each other.

"When did you stop writing them?" I asked when he finished the last one.

"I wrote the last one the night before I fucked Spencer for the first time. After that weekend, I knew I had to come home and come out. Once I returned to Japan, I was different. Stronger, I guess."

Reaching up, I cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry you hurt so much in these, but I'm so proud of you for being able to stop writing them."

I took the cards from him and put the rubber band around them again, then curled up next to Edward and fell asleep in a puzzle of limbs.

Since that night, I read the postcards often, usually when Edward wasn't around, to remind me of the suffering we had gone through in order to find our way back to each other.

Sighing, I put the cards to the side and pulled out a pair of briefs, a black pair that Edward loved my ass in. Then I went into the closet and picked out a pair of button fly jeans and tight black tee shirt. Once my socks and cowboy boots were on, I went to help Edward, smiling when I found him dancing in the kitchen as he sang into the wooden spoon we was holding.

It seemed impossible, but I loved him more every second.

"**~~**"

"Oh shit," he yelped, jumping when there was a knock at the door. We were sitting on the couch and I was trying to distract him with a few kisses and dirty words in his ear, and by the looks of his erection pressing against his jeans I'd been at least partially successful. Standing with him, I grabbed his hands.

"Babe, calm down, it's just Riley," I reminded him again.

"And Peter," he grumbled, reminding me right back. Rolling my eyes, I leaned forward, kissed him, and was just about to tease him with my tongue when there was another knock.

"Put your cocks away and answer the damn door," he said from the other side. Edward finally cracked a smile and I chuckled as I tugged on his hands and pulled him off the couch.

When I swung the door open, Edward was right by my side, clenching my hand tightly. The second there was enough room, Riley was on me, his legs encircling my waist and his arms around my neck, just like he used to greet me at rehab. My eyes closed the second our bodies reunited, I didn't even see Peter standing next to him. Edward must have dropped my hand because both my arms went around Riley's back as I supported him.

"Angel," he murmured. "Missed you so fuckin' much."

I couldn't speak, I could only nodded in agreement. It felt so good to feel him again, even if he felt different. I heard voices, pleasant and light, but didn't hear the words as Riley lifted his head and pressed his lips to mine.

He tasted the same he always had.

Pure, unadulterated Riley.

When I raised my hand to run through his long hair, I realized it wasn't there. In its place were short, silky strands about the same length as Edward's.

"Hey, what about me?" Edward whined. Almost reluctantly, Riley released me and moved to Edward, giving him a big hug.

"What were you guys doing, you're as hard as a rock," Riley announced and Edward's face turned red.

It was then I noticed how much my whore had changed. His tiny frame was now packed with sinewy muscle under his snug clothes. His face had filled out and his cheeks were permanently stained a healthy rose hue. I pulled my eyes from Edward and Riley to Peter, and sighed.

He looked as handsome as ever. Always formal, he had on gray button down and suit jacket, but no tie. I was sure it was probably in the car because Riley had made him take it off when they arrived. I also noticed he had jeans on his long legs, also probably Riley's doing. His hair was still longer and perfectly styled, but it was his eyes that caught my attention first. The mesmerizing aqua I'd spent so many hours swimming in was clear and bright. He didn't hide the flicker of emotion in them when our gazes met, but the sadness I'd seen in them at the airport the day I'd left was gone, replaced by a mirth that only one person could bring out.

I stepped forward into his arms, hugging him to me and kissing his warm cheek. He smelled amazing, and his body was welcoming against mine, quickly awakening dormant desires.

"Babe, you look great."

"Thanks, so do you," I said in his ear before releasing him. When I turned, Riley was kissing along Edward's jaw.

"Tastes so good," Riley mumbled before I pried him away and he sighed longingly.

"Edward, I'd like you to met my friend and boss, Peter Carlson. Peter, this is my boyfriend Edward Cullen," I officially introduced them to each other for the first time. Even with Riley there, I sensed a slight tension between Peter and Edward. Edward had no reason to feel inferior to Peter, but he always would regardless of how many times I told him otherwise. For Peter, it was a matter of facing the man who had won my heart, the heart he'd coveted and taken care of for months. There were things between Peter and I that Edward would never know, and it would always bother Edward that I shared a past, no matter how brief, with another man besides Riley.

Peter held his hand out to Edward, who shook it. "Pleased to meet you after all this time," Peter said with his winning smile.

"Same here," Edward returned, still dazed from Riley's affections.

"Now the intros are done, let's all have sex," Riley said, dragging Peter inside the doorway and closing it.

"Let's at least eat first," I suggested.

"Eating before sex is overrated, but fine, if you all need the energy to keep up with me, I understand," Riley answered, bounding further into our apartment. "Wow, nice place, Beautiful."

Just then, Toto heard the voices and wandered out from the bedroom, wagging her tail as she approached Peter and Riley. Immediately, Riley dropped to his knees and began patting her, rubbing her ears and speaking to her in a squeaky voice.

"You have a dog?"

"Yeah, and a cat. We adopted them from a rescue shelter. Her name is Toto."

"Of course." Riley laughed as she licked him. "She's adorable. I want one. Can we get one?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at Peter.

"Thanks," Peter mumbled to me and I laughed.

"Jas, remember that cat we used to feed on the docks? The one we called Tripod with three legs?" Riley asked me as he stood up. Edward looked at me as if my wanting the broken dog suddenly made sense.

"Yeah, I wonder what happened to him."

"I don't know, he just stopped coming around one day."

"I need to check on dinner," Edward announced, excusing himself.

"I'll show you around," I offered. Taking Riley's hand, I led him and Peter to the bedroom. Dropping my hand, Riley wandered around the room, touching a few things and checking out the closet. I waited with Peter while Riley explored. When he got the bed, he picked up Teddy.

"Made the trip back safely, huh?"

"Yep, arrived safe and sound."

Riley bounced on the bed. "So is where the magic happens?"

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed his hand. I continued to show them the remainder of the apartment, the spare room, the living room, and the balcony overlooking the lake.

"Beautiful view," Peter said as he braced his hands on the railing and gazed at the water.

"Must be nice to fuck out here at night," Riley acknowledged casually. "Or day."

"It is," I agreed with a wink. Next I showed them the piano and Riley studied the pictures on the top, asking questions about them.

"Do you still play?" Peter asked me while Riley was drooling over a picture of Edward.

"I do. I can play four songs now," I said proudly.

"Was Edward surprised?"

"Yes, very. I can't play anything like him, but I like it. It's soothing. Were you able to return the piano?"

"Actually, I bought it," he half smiled.

"You bought it?"

"Yes. I liked having it, and it only made sense to keep it with Riley moving in."

Before I could ask him what he meant, Riley came back over to us. "Do you fuck on the piano too?"

"Let's get food in you, maybe it will take your mind off fucking," I laughed.

"Like that's possible," he shrugged. I directed them the kitchen and attached dining room separated by an island. The second Riley entered, he stopped in his tracks and inhaled deeply.

"Did you cook cum for dinner? Because that's what it smells like," he said with a smirk. Edward's cheeks hued to a deep pink as he quickly averted his eyes from everyone. "I knew it. On the table? Counter? Floor?"

"Jesus, Rile," I smiled. "You haven't changed."

Then Peter leaned toward Riley, his lips close to his ear as he whispered something so softly neither Edward nor I could hear it. Riley blushed, then nodded before he tilted his head ever so slightly toward Peter.

"Let's eat," Riley announced.

While Edward brought dinner over, I poured the wine, smiling when Peter commented on the 89' Chateau Margaux.

"You remember," I said quietly as I sat down.

"Of course," he returned just as quietly.

Riley sat down directly across from me next to Peter and sipped his wine. "I prefer the Romanee Conti myself," he grinned, "But this is good too."

Edward returned with two plates of chicken breast stuffed and rolled with spinach and leeks with a brandy mustard cream sauce, along with a baked potato and salad. He set them down in front of Riley and Peter before dashing back to the kitchen only to return with two more dishes for him and me. After delivering rolls and making sure everyone had what they needed, he sat down at the end of the table. I noticed his fidgeting as he picked up his wine and almost drank it all in one gulped.

"Thirsty?" Riley chuckled as Edward put the glass on the table. "So, Beautiful, what have you been up to?"

"Work," Edward answered, his voice tight and raw. Under the table, I put my hand on his thigh and felt him relax. Visibly, his eyes clouded over and his breathing evened out. "We're got a few new mergers in the works, so they've been keeping me busy. Jasper and I took a trip east last fall to see the foliage, but with our schedules, we pretty much just stay home."

"Us too. Well except for the trip to Texas, and then one to Los Angeles. Oh, and we've got one planned to Paris in a few months," Riley finished, glancing at Peter dreamily. "I set my own hours at work, so I can take the time off I need."

Peter took a bite of his dinner and moaned as he chewed. "This is very good, Edward."

"Thank you," Edward replied.

"Wait, did you say you work?" I asked as I cut into my chicken. Riley bounced in his seat like a five-year-old waiting for his birthday cake.

"I'm the director of The Carlson Project." He beamed, his eyes sparkling as they just lit from within. "Do you want to tell them?" Riley asked Peter.

"No, you can," he answered with a smile.

"Peter the abandoned building on the dock, the one we used to live in, and fixed it up. It's now a food pantry, soup kitchen, and shelter for homeless teenagers, specializing LGBT and addicts."

I gasped and then looked at Peter. He held my eyes for a second before he was forced to look away. I couldn't believe after all he'd done for me, for Riley, after the hell I'd put him through, he was still giving his soul and money away. He was helping kids like Riley and me in hopes they might not have to resort to living the same lifestyle we had. I was still staring at Peter when Edward spoke.

"That's really amazing, Peter."

"Thanks, but it's nothing really, I just bought the building. Riley's the one in charge," Peter answered, not wanting to take the credit.

"Angel," Riley began, "It's incredible. The building is beautiful. My office is where we slept, right by those windows on the third floor. We've been open about two months and have anywhere from fifty to hundred kids every night. We feed them three meals a day, do drug counseling, job placement, GED tutoring, and if we don't offer it, we will find out who does and hook them up. It's not much compared to how many homeless kids there are, but it's a start."

I wiped the tear that escaped before blinking the rest away. Edward reached over and covered my hand with his, squeezing it lightly. The building that held so many memories for me, good and bad, was now used to help kids like us, and Riley was heading the cause.

"Thank you," I said to Peter.

I meant it in so many ways for so many things. Edward might have been the one I fell in love with, but it had been Peter who had saved me. Even from the very first time we had met, when he had told me to never look down, to respect myself and my job and what I'd done with my life. It wasn't an easy task, but I tried, and it was through our relationship I began to realize maybe I wasn't so bad. Peter picked me up from my worst, gave me the strength to get my GED, hired me, and gave me a place to live when I had none. He convinced me I was worthy even when I thought the exact opposite to be true.

"You're welcome," Peter said softly before sipping his wine. "But it actually wasn't all me. You invested in it too."

"How?"

He set his wine down. "The money you paid me back for Riley's rehab? I used it toward renovations for the building. I thought it was a good use for the money."

Before I could reply, Riley spoke up. "Can I tell him, please?" Peter nodded and Riley continued. "Peter set up a scholarship fund for homeless kids who graduate and want to go to college or trade school." He glanced at Peter with an adoring smile. "It's called the Biers-Whitlock Scholarship."

"Peter…I…" There was no sense continuing, nothing I could say could begin to thank him, or express how I felt knowing he was doing so much for kids like Riley and me. Edward squeezed my hand and I exhaled a breath. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he repeated, "but it's not necessary to thank me. You should see Riley. He works miracles with those kids. Doesn't hesitate to chase them down on the streets all hours of the day or night and drag their asses back to the shelter. I think his age helps, they don't see him as some bossy adult, he's just one of them."

"Well, a year ago, I was," Riley chimed in. "Oh, we're doing a big fundraiser next month, can you guys come out for it?"

"We'll be there," Edward answered quickly.

"Don't forget your checkbook," Riley grinned.

They continued to tell us more about the organization while we ate. The conversation flowed easily, and Edward asked a lot of questions and became more relaxed. I watched Riley and Peter closely. They tended to naturally lean toward each other. Riley wiped some sauce off the corner of Peter's lips, and didn't hesitate to put his hand on Peter's at one point. Peter returned the affectionate gestures, but it was with adoring glances and loving words. Riley voluntarily turned the topic to his addiction, and Peter tensed for a second, giving Riley a slight warning glance, but Riley shook it away and explained how he still fights it every day, especially seeing kids come into the shelter high.

"Half the time I want to kick their ass, and the other half I want to ask them where they scored their shit so I can get some," he admitted honestly. "I can drink with no problem, in fact, I haven't even gotten drunk since getting out, but I crave the harder stuff all the fucking time. It's a daily battle, but I'll win the war."

"But you haven't…" I trailed off, not able to finish the difficult question.

He looked at Peter for permission, who nodded, before he answered, "Once. It wasn't pretty. I hated myself even as I did it, and I hated letting Peter down even more. That's what stopped me from doing it again, the look on his face when he found me."

"He's been doing really well, especially considering he's around it so much, and even has access to it if he wanted," Peter said, defending Riley.

"Ricky comes to see me sometimes," Riley said to me. "I know he's dealing to some of my kids, but I can't bring myself to call the cops on him. I mean, he saved your life, ya know? So I let it slide, I talk to him, give him some food and send him on his way."

"Have you seen James?"

Peter's eyes dropped to his plate, but he smirked.

Riley grinned. "James is gone."

"Gone?"

"He disappeared about four months ago. Rumor has it he was in debt pretty big to someone and ran off to avoid paying. I suspect he paid, but in a different way," Riley explained. "Whatever happened, he's gone. His thugs are still around but they don't do too much, just some pimping mostly. Don't get me wrong, the streets are still awful, but," he looked tenderly at Peter, "we're trying to do what we can to give these kids a better life." He turned back to me. "You and I got lucky, but not everyone has two hot guardian angels looking out for them."

"Sure they do," I countered, "they have you and Peter."

We all chuckled and Riley pushed his plate away. "That was really good, Beautiful."

There was a polish to Riley I'd never seen before. It was in the way he spoke and moved, maybe it was just he was a year older, but while he was definitely still the Riley I knew, he'd developed a quality about him that only added to his thirst for life…and sex.

He leaned back and his chair and looked pointedly at each of us until a wicked smirk formed on his face. There was no mistaking the twinkle in his eyes. Polished or not, he was still Riley.

"What are you smiling at?" I asked, curious.

He looked at me playfully, staring at me long enough to send a shiver down my spine before he moved his leer to Edward, and then Peter. "At one time or another, I've fucked all of you."

"Not me," Edward piped sadly.

"Might as well have. I did it in my head enough times…"

"Did I enjoy it?"

Riley moaned. "Immensely. You got hoarse from screaming my name."

While they bantered, I looked at Peter with a raised brow. He purposely avoided my eyes, and I swear I saw a rare blush on his cheeks. Riley caught the look.

"What? Did you really think he could resist me?" Riley scoffed as if he was insulted.

Peter cleared his throat. "One time, Riley."

Riley leaned to Peter and flicked his tongue along Peter's lobe. "That's all it takes, Cowboy."

"Now I really feel left out," Edward sighed.

"Let's go into the bedroom, Beautiful, we can take care of that," Riley offered, pushing out his chair.

I laughed, then glanced at each one of them and realized, unlike Riley, I really had fucked them all. Hell, I'd even topped and bottomed each of them. Edward stood, I thought to accept the invitation, but instead he skittered to the kitchen with Riley hot on his heels. I couldn't see what was going behind me, but I heard moaning and saw Peter's eyes glance over my shoulder more than once.

"So how is living with Riley?"

"He's a pain in the ass, drives me completely insane, has no verbal filter, and never does what I ask, but he's got the biggest heart, Jasper. He's amazing with those kids, he just…gets them, you know? There have been many times I've wanted to throw his ass out, but here we are almost nine months later and he's still there. And more amazingly, we're both still alive." Peter smiled, his eyes unconsciously drawn to the boy in the kitchen. "I still miss you, Jasper," he confessed, bringing his eyes back to mine. "It's easier now, but I still miss you."

"I miss you too," I admitted softly.

"Stop talking about me," Riley called out from the kitchen just as Edward moaned.

"Looks like Edward is getting reacquainted with Riley's mouth," Peter said and I glanced over my shoulder to find Riley kissing along Edward's neck.

"He's always in a trance whenever Riley is around," I chuckled.

"Aren't we all?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

Riley reentered the dining room, pulling a sated looking Edward behind him. "I think we should go dancing. Hit a club."

"I'm up for it," I said, "if my boss says I can go in late tomorrow."

Peter laughed and stood up. "Sounds good to me, club boy."

Minutes later we were sitting in the back of their limo on our way to a club on the edge of town. Edward and I had gone there a few times, he especially enjoyed himself when I sucked him off in the back hall while guys walked by. Riley leaned into Peter, his hand resting on Peter's thigh as he stared out the window at the city lights. Peter pointed out his office building to Riley, and Riley smiled and nodded.

When I'd left Seattle, I'd hoped Peter might find solace in Riley's company, and he would watch over him, but I never expected a relationship to be blooming. Peter was finding comfort in more than Riley's company. They had only been with us a few hours, but I could already see the budding romance in the simple gestures done without thought. I knew Peter was leery of falling in love again, but I knew his heart would heal, and there was no better salve for a broken heart than Riley. I knew that for a fact. They gravitated toward each other, and while it might not be for the same reason Riley and I did, they had grown into it. There was a strong base under their relationship.

One that could potentially last a lifetime.

Edward put his head on my shoulder and sighed happily, his nerves from earlier having dissipated. While he and Peter would probably never be close friends, there was a healthy respect between them, and that was all I could ask for.

The limo pulled up in front of the club and the driver opened our door, but Riley stopped us before we could get out. He looked at Peter.

"Lose the jacket, old man. This isn't the office," he instructed Peter. Peter went to argue, but instead, he sighed and slipped the jacket down his shoulders, setting it on the seat. Riley smiled in victory.

"Happy?"

"Very. Now, let's go," Riley said, climbing over us to be the first one out. We waited while Peter gave the driver instructions, then he took Riley's hand and turned to us.

With my arm around Edward's waist, I led us to the line. Even outside we could hear the music pumping and voices filtering out the door. We waited while IDs were check by the bouncer at the entrance. He was big, well over six feet, with short cropped hair and a husky build. Riley eagerly bounced up and down, chattering endlessly about anything and everything, mostly about the cute boys there.

Leaning toward Edward, I kissed him and then moved my lips to his ear. "Can't wait to blow you in there," I told him boldly, smiling at the blushing result. We shuffled our way through the line until it was our turn. Peter, Edward, and I already had our IDs out.

"IDs?" the bouncer said holding out his hand. He glanced at them all, and then looked at Riley. "Where's yours, twink?"

"I've got one, but it doesn't say I'm twenty-one," Riley admitted, "but you'll let me in anyway."

The bouncer chuckled. "You think so, huh?"

Dropping Peter's hand, Riley stepped forward, almost pressing his body to the man's, and he tilted his head to look at the man through his long lashes.

"Yeah, I do." He ran his tongue along his lips and stared into the man's eyes. "See, I'm here visiting my friend who I haven't seen in a long time, and we just want to dance, no drinking, I promise. Besides," he paused dramatically, and the man's breath hitched as Riley ran a finger up the guy's thick arm, "you'll get way more business if I'm in there. Who wouldn't want to dance with me?"

Riley stepped back, giving the man a look of triumph, and the guy blinked as if he didn't know what had just happened. "You can go in, but no booze." He grabbed Riley's hand and marked a black 'X' on the back of it.

"Scouts honor," Riley smiled brilliantly. "Thanks, gorgeous." Grabbing Peter's hand, it was the twenty-year-old who led the way into the club.

"How the fuck does he do that?" Edward asked, shaking his head as we followed them inside.

"Fuck if I know," I replied.

"Bullshit, you do the same thing," Peter corrected. "I've seen it."

"Yeah, he's right," Edward agreed. "You just don't realize you're doing it."

We were barely inside the door when Riley let go of Peter's hand and reached for the hem of his tee shirt. In one swift motion, it was over his head and tucked into his back pocket. In the darkness I could barely make out the scar on his side, the one he said made him manlier. His body was toned and firm, and fucking hotter than hell. He was still small and compact, but damn, he was in shape.

"He's very proud of his new body," Peter shouted to me over the music, motioning to shirtless Riley as he surveyed the buffet of men in front of him looking for his next conquest.

The club was small, intimate. Against one side was a long bar side with mirrors and shelves of liquor behind it. Across from the bar was a stage about four feet high and in between them was the dance floor. Our feet stuck to it as we Riley directed us through the crowd of men. Lights of every color blinked and lasers sped around the room in time with the music being pumped through the speaker system so loudly the walls vibrated. A DJ sat behind a small glass area in the corner, bopping to the song he was playing. The place was alive with energy, and Riley just lit it up even more.

"He was very proud of his old one," I grinned. The flashing lights reflected off Riley's chest and I gasped.

Two shiny circles dangled from his nipples.

"Jesus," I groaned, not able to tear my eyes from his taunt, decorated pecs. Hearing my reaction, Riley turned around. Expertly angling his head, he gazed at me as he reached up and flicked one of the rings with his own finger.

"You like, angel?"

I nodded eagerly, entrance by his simple action. I desperately wanted to tug on them and hear the cries the pain made Riley create.

"Cowboy does too," Riley winked. My eyes shot from his finger tracing the ring to his face in time to see the sly grin. "Come on, let's dance. They're playing our song."

Next thing I knew I was on a stage with a few other guys dancing around us. Looking over the dance floor, we could see everything; men bouncing up and down, grinding, clapping, sweat glistening off shirtless bodies, couples making out, and Peter and Edward slack jaw in shock watching us. Edward knew how Riley and I behaved together, and Peter had a brief glimpse of it before I'd left Seattle, but neither of them had seen what Riley and I did at a club.

It was time to show them.

Riley moved us to the center of black wooden stage and reached for my shirt. Raising my arms above my head, I let him slide off my shirt, and laughed as he tossed it to Edward. Before I could lower my arms, Riley's hands were running down them, from my wrists to my shoulders, grazing the skin and continuing down my sides, moaning when my flesh quivered under his touch, giving away my body's craving for his seductive hands.

It had been far too fucking long.

Dropping my arms, I let one fall to my side while the other went around his slim waist and jerked him to me until his body was flush with mine with my knee was between his thighs. He slung his arms over my shoulders, tangling his fingers in my waves and letting me direct the dance and set the erotic motion of our hips. My cock was already twitching, desiring nothing more than to rub against his own growing erection as our hips ground together. His formally pale skin, still as baby soft and satin smooth as ever, was now evenly colored from the sun, something we rarely saw when we lived on the streets. Gliding my free hand up his side, I spanned it over his ribcage, my thumb caressing his scar before tugging on his nipple ring. His reaction was instantaneous.

"Fuck," he groaned, swallowing as he shuddered. "Been too long."

"Fuck yeah it has," I moaned as fisted his hair and yanked his head to the side.

Dipping my head, I licked along his collarbone, slowly traveling lower to his nipples, where I took a ring between my lips and pulled. His hips bucked forward and he released a loud moan. My mouth continued to lavish his pierced nipple until it was wet and shiny, and then I moved to the other. Each time Riley gasped, I reminded myself to make Edward get pierced.

My lips worked their way back up Riley's neck until my mouth closed over his in a heated kiss. There was no politely waiting for permission to enter his mouth, I just plunged my tongue between his willing lips, making contact with his as they swirled together for the first time in months. We might have been surrounded by men, bright lights, and pounding music, but the second our lips met, everything faded away. Kissing Edward was like being home, it was where I knew I was supposed to be, but kissing Riley was everything else. It was simply Riley and I again, back on the docks or in the alley, oblivious to everything around us as we skillfully worked each other. The history of us was in each touch of a finger, each sweep of our tongues, each whimper of pleasure. They all carried everything we meant to each other, a bond that was unbreakable no matter space and time.

Tearing his lips away, Riley put his forehead to mine, his lids fluttering wildly to stay open under the intoxication of being together again. His chocolate brown eyes looked deeply into mine as his short breaths mingled with my own in the space between us. My eyes dropped to his ripe lips, and I couldn't stop my tongue from darting out and licking his bottom lip again. Smirking, he fisted my hair and drew me in for another passionate kiss.

Finally, I broke the connection and moved my lips along his jaw line and then down the corded muscles in his neck, nuzzling him and inhaling his scent as I went. Using my arm around his waist for support, Riley let his hands fall from me as he arched backward, his limber body bending and exposing his torso for me to feast on. Sliding my hand from his chest, I moved it to his ass, groping it as he leaned further back. The crowd was cheering us on, especially two very horny men in the front. Glancing down at them, I saw Peter and Edward dancing together. They weren't touching, and their eyes were on us, but they were facing each other, shuffling to the beat of the music. I think they might have even been drooling.

Taking my hand from his ass, I skated it over Riley's body, from shoulders to the light dusting of hair below his navel. Our hips circled together as my thumb snuck under the waistband of his jeans and brushed over the elastic of his briefs. The head of his cock, only centimeters away, was tempting me, and the longer he stayed in the vulnerable position, the more I wanted to touch him. A groan vibrated through his body and I moved my hand to the 'v' of his hip.

Keeping our hips secured together, Riley whipped himself up, and in one fluid motion, spun in my arms until his back was pressed to my chest and my cock was perfectly placed at his ass. Grinding his backside into my erection, he wantonly swayed our bodies and wound an arm around my neck until his fingers were once again buried in my damp, tangled waves. Lights of every color flashed above us, pulsing to the beat of the music, glimmering off his skin. Bowing my head, I nibbled along his sweaty neck and bit into the flesh of his shoulder. Straining against his jeans, his erection was clearly visible to anyone watching, which was just about everyone there. We were both shameless in our desire, and Riley had no problem letting everyone know how much we wanted each other. He didn't stop my hand when I palmed him, putting just enough pressure on his cock to elicit a soft moan and shallow thrust of his hips.

"You like that?" I murmured in his ear, knowing damn well he fucking loved it.

He was Riley after all.

"Fuck yeah," he replied breathlessly. It was my arms around him, my hands on his body, on his cock, my tongue tracing the shell of his ear, but it wasn't me his eyes were on. When I followed his gaze, I saw Peter returning Riley's stare with equal intensity. Riley's eyes darted between Edward and Peter as they spoke to one another.

"What do you think their talking about?" I asked him.

"How fucking hot we are, what else?"

Chuckling, I gripped his chin and turned his head to me. I slanted my mouth over my whore's as I ran my other hand up and down his chest, always pausing to tweak the silver rings. When I pulled away, Riley sighed contentedly.

"Did you ever think this would happen to us?" he asked, resting his head on my shoulder as I moved us back and forth to the beat.

"What?"

"That we'd be off the streets and living the good life."

"No, I never did. I didn't think it was possible until I met Edward."

"Guess we found somewhere over the rainbow, huh, angel?"

"I think we did. It's pretty perfect too."

"Well, you got your sugar daddy, it's only fair I get mine too," Riley chuckled, his eyes still on Peter.

My own eyes went to Edward, and found his weighted gaze on both Riley and me, desire darkening his emerald eyes to almost black. With my hand still on Riley's cock, his ass still firmly pressed against my length, I kissed him again.

"I think Edward wants to dance with you," I said, motioning a dazed Edward.

Riley licked along my neck. "He can wait until I'm done with you."

Turning, he shimmied against me, moving his entire body in ways that were probably illegal in some states. With his new strength, he twisted and turned, circled his hips and shook his ass. We danced effortlessly together, our bodies always in contact, always turning each other on.

We continued like that for a few more songs before Riley peeled himself from me, breaking our bubble we'd been secluded in. When we parted, there were groans and shouts for 'more' from the crowd. Riley bowed, and then turned and shook his ass to the eruption of cheers, and a 'take it all off'. Just when I thought he might do as they asked, he jumped down from the stage and into my lover's open arms. Edward eagerly welcomed Riley into his embrace, immediately melding their bodies together as their hips moved to the music. Hopping of the stage, I went to Peter.

"I think you lost him," he said to me, nodding to Riley and Edward completely wrapped up in each other. Edward was just as enthralled with Riley's piercings as I was, and I watched as he fingered them, and then glanced at Riley for permission before latching his mouth onto one.

"Let's dance, babe," Peter said, taking my hand and putting it on his shoulder.

I moved closer, letting him feel the erection Riley had created, and brought my other hand up to his neck. My fingers threaded his hair. "You kept it longer," I commented, and he purred under the caresses.

"He likes it this way too," Peter shrugged. Even though Riley and Edward were dancing behind me, I had Peter's complete attention, just like I did when we were together. I loved the feeling of his large hands on my back, the way I could feel each finger pressing into my flesh, the way his solid body pulled me in closer to his dominating nature.

"Can I ask you something?" I shook my head to move the waves from my face. Instead, he reached up and tucked them behind my ear.

"What have I always told you?"

"I can ask you anything but you might not always answer," I quoted him from early in our relationship. He smiled at the memory. "You and Riley…did you really…."

He was nodding before I finished, and I saw a slight pink color on his cheeks. Peter did not blush. "Just one time though. It'd been several months since you and I…had made love, and he was constantly teasing me. I was doing pretty well until one day I walked by his room and found him jacking off with the door open. A few minutes later, I had him against the wall in my bedroom. He's a persistent fucker."

"He sure is," I agreed. I had been on the receiving end of that persistence more than once. "I miss him every day."

"He misses you too," he said softly. "He loves you very much."

"We've been through a lot together," I reasoned, hoping how Riley and I felt about each other wasn't interfering with whatever might be happening between him and Peter.

"I saw this wonderful movie once," Peter began, "and a very smart man in it said 'a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others'." I smiled as his quote from Oz to the Tin Man. "It's true, Jasper. You've got a huge heart because you are loved so much by others."

Lowering my eyes, to his lips, I kissed him briefly. "So are you." We continued to turn in our circle and I studied him, the way his eyes lit up, the constant pulling of a smile on his lips, the way he seemed so relaxed. "You look happy."

"I am," he answered, his eyes straying over my shoulder to Riley for a second before coming back to mine. "I think this was how it was supposed to be all along. I know that now. It took you to get me here, but I am." He brushed his lips over mine a few times before pulling back. It was nothing like the kisses I shared with Riley. It was merely a thank you kiss.

"He's happy too. I've known him for years, and I'm not sure I've ever seen him like this."

"Like?" He raised a brow.

"Lighthearted, pure. He's always been happy, but it was usually his high making him that way, now it's his life and you."

"I adore him, Jasper. He's got a spirit like no one I've ever met. He's a handful though."

"Tell me about it," I smiled.

"Sometimes I try to keep him on a short leash, but he's too much fun for that. It takes effort to just accept this is how he is and not try to change him."

"Even if you wanted to, there's no changing him," I told Peter, "trust me." He grinned and nodded, his eyes once more wandering over my shoulder. "Does he have Edward naked yet?"

"He's working on it," he laughed. Looking behind me, I saw Edward was now shirtless and Riley was sucking on his neck.

"Do you love him?" I blurted out to Peter, my fingers sneaking under the collar of his shirt to the warm skin of his neck. My cock was still semi-hard as our hips continued to move glued to each other. Peter's eyes flashed with the word that had barely been spoken between us since the airport the day I left Seattle. It was a powerful word, one I knew Peter took seriously, and one I'd only said to three people in my entire life. And Peter was one of them.

"I honestly don't know. We're taking things slow, I enjoy him, he lights up my life, and honestly," he paused, his gaze unable to help ambling over to Riley, "fucking him was amazing but I don't want to rush anything. I want both of us to be sure."

Peter didn't give his heart to just anyone. It had taken years after his breakup with Nicolas for Peter to open his heart for another, and after us, he wasn't going to just dive into the deep end again. No, Peter would keep his emotions and heart well guarded behind a fortress, but I had no doubt Riley and his irresistible charm would be the next one to break down those walls. Peter couldn't ask for a better person to let inside, Riley was incredibly loyal. No one knew that better than me.

While Riley and I were a packaged deal in any relationship either of us wandered into, it took a strong, confident person to accept Riley and me for what we were, what we would always be. Edward owned my heart, he knew that, but a piece of it would always remain Riley's, just as a piece of his would be mine. And if I was completely honest, Peter had a piece of my heart as well. His generosity and altruistic nature never failed to astound me. It had taken me months to get to used to accepting the smallest token from him, but gradually it had been him I had turned to for help in my time of need, and he came through every fucking time.

I kissed Peter and put my forehead to his. "You couldn't ask for a better guy."

He gave me a sad smile. "Oh, I can think of one that gives him competition."

"I'm not even close, trust me."

Before he could argue, I felt hands prying me away from him and I expected to turn and find Edward wanting to dance with me, but it was Riley again. Clumps of his damp hair gathered on his forehead as he looked up at me through lust laden lids and long lashes. Holding him tightly, we danced, back in our world together.

"Did you talk about me?"

"Of course," I smiled.

Biting his lip in the only way Riley could, he glanced at Peter, then back to me. Pulling me down, he whispered in my ear, "I think I like him. That's okay, right?"

A lump rose in my throat. The innocent way he asked permission, the way the words fell uncertainly from his lips, like a teenager telling his best friend about his first crush. Our bodies were far from innocent, and hadn't been in years, but our hearts were still muddling through their first loves with the same confusion as any teenager. I pressed my lips to his temple and sighed.

"Yeah, sweetheart, it's totally okay," I murmured against his skin.

Relieved, he smiled, and then looked worried. "Do you think he likes me?"

Riley, the whore who was certain everyone _wanted_ him, was questioning whether or not someone_ liked_ him. "I know for a fact he likes you."

"You do?" he almost squealed.

"Trust me, you've got him."

"Thanks, angel." He lifted his head from mine. "I should probably go dance with him, huh?"

"Yeah, you and I can dance later," I said releasing him and watching him sway over to Peter, wrapping his arms around Peter's wide shoulders before kissing his cheek.

"They make a cute couple," Edward said, standing beside me, putting his arm around my waist.

"Yeah, they do," I agreed before turning and pulling Edward into my arms. Our bodies met in a mess of sweaty chests and hard cocks. His eyes drifted from Riley and Peter to me. "Hey."

"Hey," he breathed, his chest suddenly heaving as we swayed to the beat.

"I think you should get your nips pierced," I suggested, rubbing a thumb of his pebbled nipple. "It would be so fucking hot."

"Yeah?"

"Definitely."

"You should get your cock pierced," he countered and my eyes grew wide, but I didn't say no. Instead, I kissed him hard and deep, tasting a hint of Riley in his mouth. When I pulled away, he reminded me, "Didn't you say something about a blowjob earlier?"

With a coy smirk, I grabbed his hand and led him through the maze of people to the darkened hallway in the back. There were a few other couples lining the walls of the long corridor, some just making out, others a little more involved. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Edward's eyes taking it all in as we passed the couples, not knowing if he should look at the ones fucking or kissing first. The hall was filled with the potent scent of cum and the cadence of pleasure and release that rose even above the music. There wasn't supposed to be any sex back there but the club overlooked it as long as everyone behaved and they kept selling the booze. They made periodic sweeps through the hallway and just told everyone there to get dressed and sent them back to the main part of the bar. The worst part was not being able to come if you were close. Riley and I had been caught in Seattle on more than one occasion, usually with a crowd watching us.

Stopping near the end close to the restroom, I slammed Edward against the wall. Catching him off guard, I captured his surprised gasp with my mouth as I kissed him rough and demanding. He gave it right back to me, matching my desire with his own. Our mouths were fused as his hands twirled my hair and mine deftly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. As soon as there was enough room, I slid my hand in his pants and smiled into the kiss when his hips bucked forward, already wanting more. Leaving his lips, my own nibbled along his jaw and down his warm neck and chest as I slowly lowered myself to my knees. Not paying attention to anything around me, I opened the flap of his jeans and kissed his cock through his briefs, inhaling its musky scent as I did so. Looking up at him, I saw his swollen lips and already flushed cheeks.

Watching him, I hooked my fingers into the elastic and pulled his underwear down, letting his cock spring free. My tongue licked the satiny head, gathering the bead of fluid gathered at the slit before tracing under the flared ridge and the bulging vein along the bottom. His abs tightened with anticipation, and when I didn't immediately take him into my mouth, he began to beg.

"Please, love, suck me," he whimpered.

"You want me to suck you in front of all these men?"

"Fuck," he said with a raspy groan, "yeah."

"And people think I'm the slut," I murmured as I slid his pants down a bit further before doing as he asked and taking his cock into my mouth. A shudder wracked his body as I sucked him deep into my throat.

"Oh fuck, fuck," he cried out, already on the edge of coming.

I felt his cock swell in my mouth as I lapped my tongue underneath his shaft as I let him slide out before taking him back into again. I teased him with an agonizingly slow rhythm before quickening the pace and bobbing my head. The tip of his cock struck the back of my throat, and each time he expelled another keening sound. Gentle fingers were in my hair, softly pushing it aside so he could look down and see his cock gliding in and out of my parted lips. Releasing him, I held his cock against his abs and moved my mouth to his sac, taking one in my mouth and reveling in his taste.

"Can't…need…more…close…" he stammered hoarsely, his hands tightening desperately in my hair to direct me back to his straining cock.

Had we been at home, I would have continued to tease him mercilessly, but considering we were in public, I decided to let him have what he wanted. I heard guys walking behind me, a few complimenting my lover's cock and body as they passed. Taking his cock back into my mouth, I scraped my teeth long the skin, earning a guttural groan.

"Want to fuck your mouth," he whispered breathlessly. Fisting my waves with one hand, he moved the other to the back of my head, holding it still as he began to thrust into me. Watching him through my lashes, I saw his orgasmic haze wash over his face as he neared climax. Leaving one hand lightly on his hip, I moved the other between his thighs, rubbing the velvet skin behind his balls.

"I love the way you look on your knees with my cock your mouth," he mumbled. In response, I pressed on that spot right in front of his entrance and he jerked forward, burying his length even deeper into my throat. "Fuck!"

His cry pierced the other wanton sounds in the hall and his cock pulsed as his body stilled and tensed. Sending vibrations around him with a moan, I pulled his orgasm from him. His hips thrusting once before his cock released in my mouth, filling it with warm, salty seed.

"That's it, take it all," he grunted, each word punctuated with another burst of cum. His body continued to convulse and shake while I licked and sucked until his cock was empty. Before I could release him on my own, he was pulling on my hair, yanking me upright. My jean clad hips ground into his as he kissed me, tasting himself in the recesses of my mouth. When he felt my throbbing erection, he broke the kiss.

"Want me to take care of you?"

_Forever._

I put my mouth at his ear, murmuring, "You want me to fuck you here, baby? Turn you around and fuck you against the wall, or would rather I lift you up and fuck you like this so all these pretty boys can watch my slut get fucked?"

"Jesus," he groaned, "yes, please yes."

I nibbled on his earlobe. "Which one?"

"I want them to watch," he confessed breathlessly.

I took the condom and pack of lube from my pocket before undoing my pants and lowering them enough to get my cock out. Edward pulled his jeans and underwear off one leg, and took the pack of lube from me, spreading some around his hole while I put on the condom. His eyes darted excitedly around us, watching the other couples who were in the middle of fucking or getting head.

Once the condom was on, I gripped Edward's ass. "Jump, baby," I said, lifting him as he jumped and wrapped his legs around me.

"Jesus," I moaned when the head of my cock breached his entrance. I went slowly, gently lowering his ass onto me while staring into his eyes the entire time. I could already feel him getting hard again. "Feel good?"

"Fuck yeah," he gasped with a nod.

"Can I…"

"Yeah."

With his permission, I pulled out a little before thrusting back into him. I'd had sex in public more times than I could count, I was used to an audience, but it was even hotter having Edward as my partner. He was enraptured by everything around him, his legs tightened around me. Taking a hand off my back, he moved it to his hard cock between us, stroking himself furiously.

"Are they watching you?" I asked, dropping my head to his shoulder. My legs ached with the effort of supporting him, but the discomfort was nothing compared to the pleasure.

"They're watching us," he corrected with a grunt.

I continued to thrust deeply into his tight channel, lacking any and all rhythm. Edward was completely naked and being fucked against the wall in the back hallway of a gay club, and he fucking loved it. His hand clawed at my shoulder as he pressed his head against the wall, the tendons in his neck straining as he tried to contain he screams he wanted to release when his cock erupted between us.

God, he was fucking beautiful.

A few thrusts later, the orgasm that had been coiled in my belly sprang and surged through me. "FUCK!" I yelled out unwillingly as my cock pulsed inside Edward's heat and emptied into the condom in strong bursts. I don't know how he did it, but Edward tightened himself around me even more as he leaned forward and captured my lips, swallowing the rest of my uncontained cries. My pelvis bucked up and forward as I rode out my climax. Edward twisted a hand in my hair, pulling me from the kiss and moving his lips to my ear.

"Fucking hottest thing we've ever done," he said shyly, even though my cock was still buried in him.

Chuckling, I carefully slipped my cock from him and lowered his feet to the ground. Before he could move, I dropped my knees and licked his abs clean of his cum, purring as his fingers tangled in my hair. I looked up as I bathed him. Standing, I took off the condom and tied it while he stuffed his leg back into his briefs and jeans and pulled them up.

As I did up own pants, I looked around, getting a few nods of appreciation from the line of boys on the wall opposite us who were receiving head or being fucked while watching the live porn show Edward and I had put on for them. Pink bloomed over Edward's cheeks as he realized all the attention he'd gotten.

"Ready?" I asked, taking his hand and swaying weakly. A euphoric fog hung in his eyes as I pulled his sated body along behind me. We worked our way through the crowd back to Peter and Riley. They were dancing closely, Riley's back to Peter's chest as they moved lazily to the music, savoring each place their bodies touched. Riley's nose crinkled when we reached him and he glanced at Edward, then me.

"You fucked him and didn't even let me watch?" he pouted.

"Next time," I promised.

"You better," he growled.

Just as I went to take Edward into my arms, I heard someone call his name. Lifting my eyes, I scanned the other dancers until I saw one working his way toward us. He was dressed in a tight blue tee shirt and even tighter jeans, his brown eyes excited as he neared us.

"We've got company," I told Edward as I spun his limp body around.

"Hey, Spencer," Edward greeted.

"Hey, guys," Spencer grinned. "How long have you been here?"

"Few hours," I answered. "You?"

"Just got here. Brought a date," he said, pointing to a cute guy at the bar. He took in Edward's state, and then his eyes grazed over me, and finally fell on the boy next to me. Surprise and shock washed over Spencer's face, but not Riley's.

"Hey, didn't I fuck you in Seattle?" Riley asked, his head tilting as it lay on Peter's shoulder.

Both Edward and I turned to Spencer with our own looks of shock.

He was blushing, but couldn't take his eyes off Riley as they roamed up and down his new body. When he saw our looks, he shrugged. "What? He came into the bar and picked me up. Like you all would have said no to that," he said, motioning to a very proud Riley.

We all shook our heads. None of us would say no to Riley.

"You have a tight ass and you like to be spanked," Riley announced to Spencer without hesitation.

"Um, yeah," Spencer mumbled, his color deepening.

"Spencer," Edward spoke up, saving him further embarrassment, "This is Peter, he's the owner of the PR firm we use. Peter, Spencer works in mergers and acquisitions with me." Peter and Spencer shook hands. "You apparently know Riley."

"Intimately," Riley corrected.

"Mind if my date and I join you guys?"

"Not at all," Edward said, opening up the circle to invite Spencer's date into it.

Then we danced.

Partners were exchanged, and I found myself in everyone's arms at least once, even Spencer and his date. There was bouncing and jumping, grinding, singing with the music, and holding each other tight. They played a few disco songs and Riley was in his element, pulling us into a tight circle while he danced in the middle and sang "Bad Girl". Then he found himself in my arms for "I Will Survive", our sweaty bodies sticking together as we held each other tight.

Later when I was dancing with Edward, I glanced over his shoulder to find a happy and smiling and clean Riley watching me from Peter's arms.

This was how life was supposed to be for us.

He held my gaze for a few long moments, our history passing between us, the good and the bad, we had shared it all, and even though we'd found our over the rainbow at the end of the yellow brick road, things still hadn't changed.

He was still my scarecrow.

"Love you," he mouthed.

"Love you too," I returned before giving him a wink. I had the most important people in my life near me, and even though Riley and Peter were a few thousand miles away, they were in my life daily.

We closed the club, leaving only when they turned on the house lights and threw us out. Sweaty and laughing, we exited the doors. Spencer and his date gave us a quick goodbye before hopping into a cab. Waiting for the limo to pull up, Riley, Edward, and I put on our shirts. The car pulled up and we crawled in, Edward finding my lap while his lips found my neck. Peter smiled at me, then looked at his own boy and kissed his temple.

"I want to go shopping tomorrow," Riley announced.

"Of course you do," Peter sighed with a smile.

"I need some new Armando jeans," Riley argued.

"Armani," Peter, Edward, and I corrected simultaneously.

"Whatever. C'mon, Cowboy, please?"

As if Peter would have ever said no to Riley. "Sure."

Riley beamed and turned to me. "Want to come with me? We can do lunch and get manicures."

"Manicures?"

My whore got manicures. Even though he had lived and saw poverty every day, he really was enjoying the pampered life.

"What? Got a problem with smooth hands?"

"Not at all," I laughed, "but I've got work tomorrow."

Riley turned to Peter with his signature pout, and Peter rolled his eyes. "Jasper can have the day off to babysit you."

"Thanks, Cowboy," Riley said, kissing Peter's cheek and turning to me. "Do you want to come, Beautiful?"

Edward glanced at me, then shook his head. "No, you spend some alone time with Jasper. I'll go next time."

Riley nodded and looked at me. "I'll pick you up at ten," he announced before beginning to plan our day for us while we continued through the city until the limo pulled up in front of our building.

"You can stay with us," I offered when Peter mentioned their hotel.

"Can we? Please," Riley begged, but Peter had already given in twice, he wasn't going to do it again.

"Maybe next time, I don't want to intrude."

Riley's pout quickly returned and he dipped his head while looking at Peter and running a finger down his cheek. "But I was hoping that you and Jasper could DP me." Peter coughed and blushed at Riley's suggestion. I think, for a brief moment, he actually considered it.

"Jesus, Rile," I groaned, my cock twitched at his offer.

"What about me?" Edward said from my lap, his head resting on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure you could handle them both, Beautiful," Riley answered, "but you can watch."

Peter leaned toward Riley, putting his lips to Riley's ear, speaking quietly for Riley only. Riley's eyes closed and he shivered just as his cheeks stained pink from whatever Peter was saying. When Peter straightened and Riley's eyes opened, they were clear and bright and flirty. Peter worked his magic on Riley as much as Riley did him.

The driver opened the door and we all got out. Peter opened his arms and I stepped into them, returning his strong hug. Making plans to meet for dinner the next night, Peter and Edward shook hands while Riley lunged at me, kissing me quickly before whispering in my ear.

"See you tomorrow, angel."

"Night, sweetheart," I returned and eased him off me. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Riley didn't hesitate to take Peter's hand and practically drag him back into the car, a mischievous glint flaring in his brown eyes. Oh yeah, Riley definitely had something planned for their ride back to the hotel. As I stood next to Edward, I realized how strange it was to see Riley, my whore, climb into a limo and not be paid for it.

"Talk about a fish out of water," I smiled. The limo pulled away from the curb and I swear I saw Riley bend down into Peter's lap behind the dark tinted glass.

"Oddly enough, he seems right at home in it," Edward chuckled, entwining our fingers. "Ready to go home?"

It was a simple question to go along with a simple gesture, but they both said so much. They were words I would hear from him for the rest of my life, his hand in mine was a feeling I would both always have, and yet, crave more every day.

We were going to our home.

_Home._

After almost a lifetime of being lost on the yellow brick road, I had finally found my somewhere over the rainbow.

And his name was Edward Cullen.

"**~~**"

Thank you so much for reading~

They got their HEA. Jasper found his somewhere over the rainbow, Riley and Peter are moving forward, and even Spencer had a date! *happy sigh*

I can't begin to thank everyone for the support this story has received from Twitter, Facebook groups, blog reviews/recs, award sites, and most of all, the readers. It blew my mind every time someone said "Oh, a group of us were debating over what's going to happen…" or "I made my friend who's never read slash read it and they loved it." I'm still surprised at the amount of you that popped your slash cherry on m&a. As I say, baptism by fire! If you've been reading m&a, and haven't reviewed, or haven't reviewed in a while, I would love to hear what you think now that it's over.

Thank you to all the readers who traveled the journey of heartfail, fluff, and frustration, and still reviewed consistently. I wish I could name you all, but you know who you are, and you've been a part of mine and the boy's world for the past 17 months, and I honestly hope you continue to be. Fanfic isn't just for creative expression, you can meet the most wonderful people here as well. Dannie and I are hosting an m&a epilogue chat on gmail July 17 at 10pm EST. If you are interested, PM me your email and I will add you to the list.

Much, much love to Dannie, who stuck by this story even when she wasn't writing it anymore. The hours she put into these boys, writing (sometimes longhand), reading, talking me down from the edge, holding my hand and my answering endless questions over the smallest details, was beyond amazing. She is my better half, and these boys and I wouldn't be here without her constant support and encouragement.

Finally, I will be continuing the m&a universe with a Riley/Peter story called The Whore and the Gentleman. I don't have an ETA on posting date yet as I want to get ahead on WN if possible, but it won't be too long. I believe it will be written similar to WN with flashbacks weaved within a current timeline. The story will contain a lot of Riley's past, his life on the streets with Jasper and drugs, as well as how he got there. Anyone want to know more about Peter catching Riley jacking off? *raises hand* We will watch Riley struggle to stay clean, the birth of the shelter, and of course, his progressing UST and relationship with Peter (and yes, there will be smut). If you're interested in reading, be sure to add me to author alert.

Really finally…this is why Peter and Riley opened the shelter.

Of the estimated 1.6 million homeless American youth, up to 42 percent identify as lesbian or gay, and a disproportionate number identify as bisexual or transgender. Why do LGBT youth become homeless? In one study, 26% of gay teens who came out to their parents/guardians were told they must leave home.


	40. Sharing his Courage

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Here is the first of several outtakes of the boys. These won't be done in any order, just as the urge to write a certain scene hits me. One might take place after the epi, others during, or before. This one is before the epilogue. I missed them so much, I wrote this in one day.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

"Who is it for again?" I asked him as he stood inches in front of me tying my black silk bowtie. He eyes focused on his task, but I could feel his warm breaths and fingers when they grazed my neck.

"They say it's for the new wing at Northwestern Memorial, but it's really just a reason to get dressed up and network," he answered.

"Network..."

"Pretend to like people in your field to advance your career or company," he explained.

"Hooking without the fucking?"

"Pretty much. Stop fidgeting," he scolded when I shifted back and forth impatiently.

"How did you learn to tie these?"

"Are you kidding? I think I was boring wearing one of these," he smirked, and then eyed his work as he patted my shoulder. "Perfect. You look very handsome."

He stepped aside and I glanced in the mirror behind him. It wasn't my first time in a tuxedo, but I still felt like I didn't belong. I remembered going to the party with Peter, how scared I had been people were going to know what I was, or that I was going to embarrass him. Standing in Edward's closet, I had those same fears. I'd been nervous since Edward had reminded me about the function a few days before, but I'd tried to not let my worry show. I'd only been in town less than a month, and I'd been to his office and had met some of his coworkers, but this would be the first time we'd be together in public for a work event.

When we had gone to purchase a tuxedo for me, I was nervous the entire time I was being fitted, asking Edward if I really had to go between biting my lip and fisting my hands. Not only would all of Edward's colleagues be there, but his family as well.

Regardless of trying to hide my fears from Edward, he'd sensed them. He would come up behind me, wrap his arms around me and assure me he was proud to stand next to me. The night before, I was cooking dinner and he walked in with a bouquet of red and white roses and told me I was the strongest, most amazing person he knew. I melted into his arms without even denying his words. No one could ever lift me as high as Edward could with just a smile and a glint in his emerald eyes. The best part about being nervous was how often Edward tried to alleviate my fears, and how creative he got with his ideas.

There was a hot bubble bath one night, which ended with us mopping up the sudsy water that had spilled over the edge of the tub when we fucked in it. There was the walk in the park at midnight that ended with a blowjob behind a tree and my back scraped from tree bark. And only a few hours before he was tying my bowtie in his closet, we'd had a good hard fuck over the back of the couch when he purposely paraded by me naked on his way to shower. After he shot his load onto the floor and I cried out his name, we took the shower together. I'd never once voiced my concerns over attending the benefit, but Edward had just known.

"Don't," he said, drawing my eyes from our reflection in the mirror to him, "you'll be great. No one will know, they will all love you, and there is nothing you could do to embarrass me."

"But this is your first function since you came out," I said in a shaky voice I couldn't control.

"And it will be fine. Colin's got everything under control, he will even be there," he assured me.

I felt sick. There was so much that could go wrong, things that'd kept me up late at night while Edward slept soundly next to me. But it wasn't Colin I was worried about.

"And Spencer," I sighed.

"Yes. But Emmett and Bella too, it's her last weekend in town before she leaves on her cruise," he reminded me.

I was slightly relieved. I'd met Bella and Emmett when Edward had invited them for dinner one night. They both seemed to like me even though they knew about my former career. Edward gave me his word neither of them would never tell another soul, though he couldn't promise that Emmett wouldn't drill me about it in private. "He's a curious one," Edward said.

"What if Spencer says something?" I choked out.

"He won't. I've talked to him, love. He's okay with us."

"But," I looked down at his hands holding mine, unable to say the words while looking at him, "he knows what I am."

Edward's fingers were under my chin, lifting it and forcing my eyes to meet his. "What you _were_. You're not that person anymore, Jasper. You work for a highly respectable firm, and you're my boyfriend." He winked at the last part.

Exhaling a long breath, I trusted Edward was right and squeezed his hand. Leaning in, he brushed his lips over mine and the pull inside me swelled painfully. I would never get tired of the feeling he gave me when we touched. Moaning, I released one of his hands and brought mine to his neck, angling his head to deepen the kiss. Smiling against my lips, he tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him.

"You keep this up and we'll be late," he mumbled.

I groaned at the image he placed in my head and brought our joined hands to my lengthening cock. He willingly palmed me and pressed our bodies together, capturing our hands between us. A few more minutes and I would have had him naked with my cock in him.

"We'll miss the party," he murmured as my mouth left his and worked along his clean shaven jaw.

"Baby, I can make you feel so good you won't care if we miss the party."

He knew I was right.

"They'll ask where we were," he whispered.

"Tell them I was fucking you."

His body shook with laughter. "I'm sure that'll go over well at the next board meeting."

Lifting my head, I put my forehead to his and silently pleaded him with my eyes to give in. But he didn't. He knew exactly what I was doing. I was doing what I knew, using sex to get my way. While it usually worked with Edward, it didn't then.

"Love, it will be okay, I promise. And when it's over, I will let you ravish me wherever you want."

My eyes widened. "Anywhere?"

"Anywhere," he confirmed.

Suddenly going to the party didn't sound so bad. "Okay," I finally agreed, taking his hand in mine again.

One brief kiss later and we were locking the door and heading down to the lobby to meet the stretch limo. Our driver held the door for us and we climbed inside. Beautiful city sights passed by outside but my eyes gazed at something far more beautiful.

Edward in a tuxedo.

I'd been too nervous to really see just how fucking incredible he looked. He was in a basic black tie tux with crisp white shirt under it, but it was custom made and fit his body like a glove. The pants hugged the curve of his ass in the most delicious way while the jacket hung on his shoulders and buttoned around his trim waist, showing off his physique. As he stared out the window, his hand resting on my thigh, I could see his long lashes framing his dark eyes and the way the city lights caught the highlights in his hair. It'd been styled earlier, but my hands had run through it so many times since then that it was just as messy as always.

Feeling my eyes on him, he turned his head to me and graced me with his crooked smile. It was dazzling, and one he only let me see, and just for a few minutes, my worries faded and all that mattered was getting to see him smile like that. Enamored by him, I laid my head against the seat and stared at him. It didn't take long before he was blushing and looked away, but his smile remained.

All too soon, the limo parked in front of the Trump Tower. Any calmness I'd felt with Edward quickly disappeared when the driver opened our door and I could see the people mingling along the carpeted walkway in front of the entrance. Edward got out first, buttoning his jacket before extending his hand to me. I could already see the flashes of cameras. Taking a deep breath, I took his hand and let him pull me out. Straightening, I clutched his hand and after one last look, let him lead me up the gold carpet. A few photographers called out his name and he stopped, giving them a brilliant smile and pulling me close, his arm around my waist.

"Edward, who's your date?" one called out as we passed.

"Sorry, Paul, he's all mine," Edward replied with a laugh and glance over his shoulder.

After what seemed like forever, we reached the entrance. While we waited for our turn, I couldn't help looking around. There were people everywhere, women in dresses that were worth more than my former apartment and men dressed in different variations of tuxedos. Some of the men were older and stately, others younger and rather cute. When we reached the door, Edward gave our names to the man with the clipboard before leading us inside with me gripping his hand so hard it must have hurt.

We were barely in the door before we were approached by his parents. They looked so…comfortable, like they'd been raised in the atmosphere of tuxes and ball gowns. Esme was dressed in a silky red dress that showed off her curves in a respectable way. Her long, wavy hair was pulled up on top of her head and the diamonds around her neck sparkled brighter than the chandeliers above us. Looking handsome, Carlisle was dressed like Edward and I, in a custom black tuxedo.

We usually saw them once a week, a standing invitation for Sunday brunch, and I occasionally ran into Carlisle when I went to see Edward at his office. They welcomed me into their home, never once flinching when Edward sat on my lap or kissed me or wrapped his arms around me. In fact, Esme often commented on 'how adorable' Edward and I were. I'd frowned at the compliment and then whispered to Edward that I didn't want to be adorable, I wanted to be hot. He then reminded me I didn't want to be hot in front of his mother. After little thought, I quickly agreed.

Esme's arm was curled through her husband's but she dropped it as they approached, hugging us both and kissing our cheeks, making sure to wipe off the lipstick marks.

"Jasper, so good to see you here," Esme greeted. "We hoped you would be joining Edward."

"Yes, we did," Carlisle said, shaking my hand and smiling. "How is work going?"

"Good to see you both too. Work is going well," I answered, gripping Edward's hand even tighter. "Thank you for asking."

They knew about my job with Peter, but nothing about what I did before that. Together, we'd decided it was best not to panic either of them with my past. They had enough going on with their son coming out and going public, they didn't need the fact I was a hooker on top of it. There were other things that stopped us as well, like knowing they would worry about Edward's health if they found out I'd been a prostitute, or would assumed I'd done drugs, or would easily be lured back to that lifestyle. Instead of telling them the truth, Edward came up with a plausible story that was easy to stick to.

He'd told them I had done an internship with Peter's company and he hired me fulltime when it ended, and that I'd asked to be transferred to the Chicago office so I could be closer to Edward. He said we'd met in the elevator of the hotel in Seattle.

The last part was one hundred percent true.

Having heard the drawl in my voice, Esme had asked about where I was from and about my childhood. I admitted to having been raised in an orphanage after the death of my parents, and that I'd moved from Texas to Seattle when I turned eighteen. As for the missing years in between, I filled it in with miscellaneous jobs until I was lucky enough to meet Peter through a mutual friend.

"Edward, I hope you will introduce Jasper around, this is a great opportunity for him to network for potential clients," Carlisle said. "I saw Colin in there already working the crowd."

"Of course he is," Edward replied with a smile. "It's what we pay him for."

"You're both coming for brunch on Sunday, right?" Esme asked.

"We'll be there, Mom."

"Good." She kissed us again. "Now go work your magic, boys."

Tugging on my hand, Edward pulled me toward the arched doorway leading into the main room. It was huge and elegant and when I saw everyone in their dresses and jewelry and tuxes, I felt even more out of place. Not once when I'd lived on the street did I ever dream I'd been attending such a high class event. Hell, it was even fancier than the fairytale balls that Riley had told me about. Strategically scattered throughout the room were tables covered with white linens, matching place settings, and huge candle centerpieces. Waiters serving drinks and food bustled around with trays. There was a small dance floor and a band playing on a low set stage behind it. Floor to ceiling windows covered two of the walls and twinkle lights hung from just about everywhere to give the formal setting a romantic feel.

We made our way through the crowds, occasionally stopping for Edward to introduce me to someone. I shook their hands, kissed the wives' cheeks, and laughed at their jokes. While we didn't hold hands the entire time, Edward was never more than a few inches from me. Desperately, I tried to remember all the names and positions of those I met, but it was impossible. At the end of the night, I had a collection of business cards in the pocket of my jacket.

My heart sped every time Edward proudly said, "I'd like you to meet my partner, Jasper Whitlock."

We were making our way toward the bar when I spotted Colin. "Let's say hi," I said, guiding Edward toward him. He'd been showing me off to his colleagues, it was time I got to do the same. Colin spotted me as we approached and waved me over.

"Glad you came. It's good for people to see you as a couple. Stops rumors and gives a nice impression of a gay man who is settled down instead of one fucking everything with a dick," he said in the professional tone I was used to daily. Given my position at work, Colin and I often had meetings, and he was the one that answered all my questions. Peter had told him to take care of me, and he had. "How are things at work?"

"Very well, thank you. No problems at all, and things seem to have quieted down," Edward answered.

"That's to be expected, they will only pay attention to you until the next big rumor breaks," he chuckled. "I've got people ready to run interference after tonight, but so far, things seem pretty quiet. Mandy is outside with reporters and photographers making sure everything is done on the up and up and not altered."

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Edward said sincerely.

"You two make a stunning couple. If people aren't talking about you being here with a man, they will be talking about what a sexy couple you make," Colin said wistfully.

I think we both blushed and I rubbed up Edward's back under his coat. Colin stared at Edward for a few long seconds, perhaps wondering what might have been had I not come to Chicago. Maybe they would have been at that same function together. Something passed between them, and then Colin smiled and brought his eyes back to mine.

"A few potential clients here tonight, Jasper. Ready to charm them?" His eyes lightened with the excitement of a predator hunting prey.

"Always," I said.

"Speaking of, there's one right now. If you'll excuse me," he said, his hand lingering on my arm before he walked off.

I turned to Edward. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a bit awkward. You working for a branch of your ex-lover's company which is run by my ex-lover."

"Like one of those sudsy musicals," I laughed.

"Soap operas," he corrected.

"Same thing."

I was sipping champagne and looking around nervously while Edward ran to the bar for a stronger drink for himself. When I spotted Emmett's hulking figure with Bella's tiny one next to him, I smiled gratefully.

"Hello," Bella said, giving me gentle hug. Like Esme, Bella's long hair was up, exposing her delicate neck and the pretty gold locket she wore. Her dress was an aqua color that reminded me of Peter's eyes, and the sleek style was stunning on her slim figure. Somehow Emmett made a tux seem fun with his slightly crooked tie and a flower in his lapel.

"Hello, Bella," I said formally as she pulled away.

"So, Jasper," Emmett said, slapping my back pretty fucking hard, "how do you like sitting at the big kids table."

I wasn't sure what he meant and I furrowed my brows while trying to figure it out. Was there a certain place the dates of guests were supposed to sit? Did Edward know where that was? Should I ask Emmett or pretend I understood what he said. I didn't want to fuck anything up and embarrass Edward by not knowing where I was supposed to sit.

Biting my lip, I shrugged. "It's fun," I answered, hoping like hell it was close to an acceptable answer.

When I felt the supportive hand low on my back, I relaxed into the touch and almost leaned on him when he stood next to me. After kissing Bella, Edward handed Emmett a mixed drink.

"I saw you from the bar," he explained when Emmett took it from him. Edward looked at Bella. "I can't believe you're here with him."

She shrugged. "Well, you blew me off for a sexy blond. I had to find another date."

"Talk about a downgrade," Edward chuckled.

"Hey," Emmett growled. Then he pointed to a red headed woman in a midnight blue dress. "Have you spoken Kate? She's looking fine, huh?" He wiggled his eyebrows and then rubbed his arm where Bella had whacked him. "Ow!"

Edward's eyes sharpened at Emmett and he shook his head. "No, not yet."

"Who's Kate?" I asked innocently, surprised there was someone in the building I hadn't met yet.

Emmett answered before Edward could. "Edward's ex girlfriend."

I almost spit my champagne all over them. "Excuse me?"

"It was nothing," Edward said, giving Emmett a warning glare. "My mother set us up and we went out a few times."

Emmett laughed and shook his head. "You should have seen poor Edward when she felt him up under the table at dinner one night."

Bella rolled her eyes and wrapped her arm around Emmett's. "Why don't we go say hi to the Andersons." Before Emmett could argue with her, she was pulling him away.

"Girlfriend?" I asked, turning to Edward. Though my surprise was quickly forgotten when his tongue darted out to run along his bottom lip to sweep up the amber liquid that had gathered there. Suddenly my cock twitched and my breaths grew shallow.

"Jas?" he asked when I ignored his answer.

"I want you right now," I said huskily. Maybe I wanted to remind him why he was with me and not a woman, why he liked cocked.

His smile faded and a mischievous light flared in his eyes when he realized I was serious. "Come with me."

Placing his drink down, he weaved through the tables toward the far corner. He led the way down a long hallway and then entered through a large ornate door for the men's room. It was a huge bathroom with a long marble countertop around the sinks and baskets of samples and towels. Each stall was double the normal size and had solid doors with no gap at the top or bottom. It was the fanciest bathroom I'd ever been in, even too classy to have urinals along the wall.

"Baby—" I began but stopped when he pushed one of the stalls opened and dragged me inside by my coat.

The door clicked behind me and Edward was pressing me against it, his fingers working quickly to undo the buttons of my jacket and yank my shirt out of my pants. He unbuttoned it from the bottom, leaving the top few buttons and my black tie undisturbed. Spreading my shirt open, he feasted on a nipple, taking it into his mouth. My head banged on the door when I arched my back and wound my fingers in his hair to keep him fused to me.

"Jesus," I groaned when he bit down. While one of his hands tweaked my other nipple, his other skimmed down my abs to my pants. If I hadn't been hard when he pulled me in there, I was the second I heard my zipper being lowered and felt his hand palming my cock. After a few strokes, he had me pumping against his flattened hand and softly begging for more.

Without further prompting, he dropped to his knees and pulled down my briefs to expose my erection. His eyes were on mine as he held my cock and lapped up one side and down the other before flicking his tongue over the head and dipping into the slit. Edward had the most beautiful lips and right then, I wanted to watch my cock glide between them as I fucked his mouth. Knowing what I needed, he took me into his wet heat, then hallowed out his cheeks with suction and waited for me to take over.

Looking down at him, I cupped the back of his head with one hand and fisted his hair with the other. Then I began to steadily thrust into him, sliding my cock over his rough tongue and into his tight throat. He moaned quietly, just enough to send me reeling from the vibrations. I could feel my stomach clench as I neared my orgasm, and in few more pumps, I'd be there, falling into bliss while I gazed into his eyes.

The door to the bathroom opened and dress shoes clacked on the floor, two pairs by the sound of it. My hips never stopped, I needed Edward too bad to worry about people hearing us.

"A bit too much to drink," one of them said.

"Lightweight," the other teased.

We listened as stall doors next to us opened and we heard zippers lowered before they began urinating. Edward's hair was still tangled in my fingers as his lips slid firmly over my cock. The other toilets flushed and then we heard water from the sinks running.

"You see Cullen?"

"More importantly did you see the guy he's with?" the second one said with a slight groan.

I stilled, my cock still deep in Edward's mouth. His eyes widened but he never moved away from me.

"Where the fuck has he been hiding him?" the first asked.

"Seattle is what I heard. Met him on business trip. I'd tap that. Did you see his lips? Fuck me…"

Edward couldn't help but smile around my dick at their compliment.

"You think Cullen tops?"

There was a pause and I was nodding my head and Edward tried not to laugh.

"Definitely. You've seen the way he commands a meeting. A guy doesn't work a boardroom like that and then bottom."

I resumed thrusting into his mouth, the conversation happening about us just a few feet away turning me on even more. The way they spoke about my Edward, practically drooling over him, excited me. The voices faded as the door closed behind them and I watched my cock penetrating Edward's lips.

"They don't realize what a slutty bottom you are. How you beg for my cock in your ass, ram it deep until you come," I told him as I bucked my hips. His eyes closed and he reached for his crotch, quickly unzipping his pants and whipping out his cock from the folds of clothing. My gaze dropped from his face to his hand as he furiously stroked himself.

He came two pumps later, aiming it onto the floor away from my shoes. His wanton motions and grunts sent me over right behind him and I thrust into him, holding his head tightly as I kept my cock buried in his throat and filled it with warm cum. My orgasm rocketed through me, easing nerves with each wave that washed over me. He licked me clean, placing an opened mouth kiss on the flared head before releasing me.

Edward grabbed some toilet paper and wiped up the floor before tucking himself back in his pants while I did the same. He stood and I kissed him, plunging my tongue into his mouth and tasting myself before pulling away and buttoning up my shirt.

Once we were both presentable, we washed our hands. "Who were they?"

"I don't know. I didn't recognize the voices, but someone that obviously knows me," he shrugged. "And here I thought Spencer and I were the only gay guys in the business."

"Apparently not."

"They were hot for you," he smiled and winked. "Can't blame them."

I blushed and he kissed me. "This doesn't count as my 'anywhere' fuck, does it?" I asked warily as we headed to the door.

"Nope, this was just to make you focus on something besides your nerves."

"Totally worked," I said with a lazy grin.

He led us back to the party, his hand on the low of back as he guided me through the crowds. We stopped at the bar. "Is there a certain table for us to sit at?" I asked him.

"Well, by company but not individual, why?"

"Because earlier Emmett asked if I like sitting at the big kids' table and I didn't want to sit in the wrong place."

Edward took his drink and handed me mine. "It's a saying that families use at Thanksgiving."

"The turkey one, right?"

"Right. Remember I told you that families get together for a big meal? Sometimes, if there are a lot of kids, they have their own table away from the adults. If you're at the big kids' table, it means you're sitting with the adults."

"Was he saying I'm immature?" I asked defensively, my eyes quickly scanning for his hulking figure.

Edward shook his head. "No, love, he was saying welcome the adult table, and that you'll find out it's not as it seems. Trust me, no one is more of an adult kid than Emmett."

"You sure?" Instead of answering, he smiled and squeezed my hand.

I put my arm around his waist and pulled him to my side before whispered in his ear. "I'm going to fuck you so hard later."

A flush covered his cheeks and he leaned into me. I had just inhaled the scent of his hair when I felt him tense. Following his gaze, I saw a man approaching. Like everyone else, he was in a tailored tuxedo and black tie, but he was more striking than most. At first glance, he had average brown hair and average brown eyes, but on a closer look one would also notice his straight nose and high cheekbones. His refined features worked together to create a handsome package.

Even before Edward spoke, I knew who it was.

It was the same man I'd met in Seattle, the same one who my boyfriend had fucked. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straight and watched him walk over. My hand remained possessively on Edward's back.

"Edward," he smiled at my man. I didn't feel a spark between Edward and Spencer, but the stare was hard to miss, it was one full of secrets and history.

"Hello, Spencer, good to see you here. I wasn't sure you'd come," Edward returned.

"Me miss a chance for free food and hot women? Surely, you must be kidding. My father would have my hide if I wasn't dressed up and performing like a good boy." His words were said with lightness but he seemed so…sad.

Then he turned his attention to me. To anyone else, he was simply judging my bank account, but I knew better. He was judging my competence as Edward's boyfriend, as the man who was with the one he wanted. Like Edward couldn't hate Peter, I couldn't hate Spencer. He's been an ass when he first entered Edward's life, but he'd been there for Edward when no one else was, not even me, and I couldn't hate him for that.

"Jasper," he greeted me, jutting out his hand toward me. I shook it.

"Spencer, nice to see you again." I liked that he was shorter than me. It wasn't much, maybe an inch or two, but enough to let me look down on him. Even though Edward assured me many times my secret was safe with Spencer, I didn't completely trust him.

"Is it?" he smirked and tilted his head. We'd seen each other only in passing at Edward's office, but hadn't spoken since the day he stopped me in the hall on the way to Edward's hotel room.

_Yes, because I am on Edward's arm and you're not._

"Of course. The circumstances are much more pleasant," I commented, flashing him a smile and pulling Edward closer to my side. Sure, it was childish, but I couldn't help myself.

"True," he agreed. "How are you liking Chicago compared to Seattle?"

"Less rainy," I replied evenly. Edward leaned on me slightly, a silent encouragement I was doing fine. Exhaling softly, my heart slowed and I trusted Edward was right.

"And your new job, how is that going?"

"Very well, thank you," I smiled easily. His words were said sweetly, politely, and I wasn't sure if he was trying to be an ass, or genuinely nice, and I didn't like it. He was a hard read, and I wished Riley was with me. He'd know if I was being bullshitteded. There was barely a person Riley couldn't read.

"Glad to hear it. Carlson's firm has been a great asset for us," he said, glancing over my shoulder at someone before bringing his gaze back to me. He took a step closer to us, looked me right in the eyes and lowered his voice. "Don't hurt him again."

"Spencer," Edward warned with a sigh. Daringly, I leaned in and kissed Edward's cheek and rested my temple to his. It was the most physical contact we'd had in public all night. Edward never startled or shied from my intimate touch.

"I won't," I vowed to Edward as much as Spencer.

Spencer actually smiled, perhaps resigned to the fact that Edward and I were together, or maybe it was because of my words, I wasn't sure, but I accepted it. He stayed with us for a few minutes, mostly talking work with Edward. When he was called away by his father, he looked longingly at Edward before excusing himself and turning around.

As he walked away, I watched his ass in the custom fit pants. "I can see why you fucked that," I murmured to Edward who laughed.

We'd barely taken a breath when Edward sighed.

"Oh oh," Edward muttered under his breath. I looked up from my drink to see the woman Emmett had said was Kate approaching. She was tall and really thin, and had large breasts. Even in the stiletto heels she wore, she walked easily and with confidence. After my incident with Mr. Jones, I knew heels were not easy to walk in. The long gown she wore was tight, but not ill fitting, and exposed her assets.

"Edward," she purred, stopping in front of him. Being the polite boy he was, Edward leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"Kate," he greeted. "How are you?"

"Very well, thank you." She gave me a once over, obviously not pleased with what she saw. Before I could say or do anything, Edward's hand slipped into mine.

"This is my _boyfriend_, Jasper Whitlock," he introduced with an adoring smile. "Jasper, this is Kate Mills, daughter of Mr. Mills who runs a biotech company we work closely with."

"Nice to meet you," I said, holding out my hand, which she shook limply.

"You too," she answered, redirecting her attention to Edward. "I heard you were with someone new."

"We've been together for some time now," Edward corrected her. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and if they were sizing each other up, Edward won by a long shot because she caved first.

"Oh, there's Maxwell, I must introduce you. He's the son of Henry Taylor," she said as a man approached. She wrapped herself into his side.

"Sure, we've met," Edward nodded, greeting Maxwell. He was tall, thin and looked rich. More introductions were done and everyone shook hands again. When we were done, Edward's was back in mine.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to introduce Jasper to the head of Synergy. It was nice to see you again, Kate. Enjoy your night," Edward said as he tugged on my hand.

I said goodbye and followed Edward. "They seem made for each other," I mumbled as we walked off and Edward laughed.

"You've got no idea."

The rest of night went smoothly. We found the right table and I sat between Emmett and Edward. I even joked to Emmett about sitting at the big kids' table. Edward's parents sat with us as well and we were served a huge meal. After a few announcements and speeches were given by various people hosting the party, the band played and the floor was open to dancing.

Edward pushed out his chair and stood up, extending his hand. "May I have this dance?"

"Are you sure?" I asked anxiously. Bringing me to the party was one thing, dancing with me in front of everyone was another.

"Positive."

Pushing out my chair, I stood and took his hand, letting him lead me to the dance floor. There were already a dozen or so couples out there, and I was relieved to hear Emmett and Bella right behind us. In the center of the floor, Edward stopped and turned to me, immediately wrapping an arm around my middle and putting my hand on his shoulder. He took my other hand in his, pressed our bodies together and began to spin us in a small circle. My heart raced as I felt every pair of eyes in that place on us, boring into my back, a few more painfully than others.

"Don't pay attention to them," he said. "Just me and you."

"How can you say that when they're all staring at us?"

"Because all I see is you, love. They don't matter."

Calming, I loosened my hold on his shoulder. "You always know what to say."

When he gave me his lopsided smile, I realized he was right. It was only him and me. Keeping a respectable distance between us, he led the dance. Emmett caught my eye a few times and winked at me and Bella gave me an encouraging smile when she was facing me. By the end of the song, I was more in love with Edward, and so proud of how far he'd come in just a few months.

We returned the table to the clapping of his parents and I blushed as Edward held my chair for me while I sat down. Then we watched as Esme and Carlisle danced, lighting up the dance floor with their good looks.

"Think we'll last as long as they have?" I asked Edward and he turned to me.

"I have no doubt we will," he assured me.

The remainder of the night flew by and the clock struck twelve before we were saying goodbye to everyone. Holding my hand, I pulled Edward toward the exit.

"Awfully eager," he chuckled, knowing damn well why I was so eager. I was going to hold him to his promise of being able to fuck him anywhere. We waited on the sidewalk for our limo and I almost opened the door myself when the driver was too slow. Inside, behind the dark tinted glass and the partitioned window between the driver and us, I drew Edward to me for a kiss.

"Did you mean it?"

He knew exactly what I was referring to.

"Yeah," he answered breathlessly.

I pressed the speaker to the driver. "Take the long way home, please."

"Yes, sir."

Edward eyed me as I slipped off my coat and undid my bowtie. "Get undressed," I commanded him as I unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off. He shivered at the tone but didn't hesitate to take off his own jacket and tie. My pants were already around my ankles and I was stroking myself as I watched him undo his shirt and let it fall down his arms before he lifted his hips to undo his pants. I licked my lips when his cock bounced free, already completely hard just from undressing in front of me. He toed off his shoes and socks and kicked off his pants and briefs the rest of the way. Sitting across from me completely naked, he lifted a foot onto the seat, exposing his entrance to me.

"Is this what you want?" he asked casually as his fingers ran up the inside of his thigh and circled his asshole. Swallowing, I nodded, still languidly stroking myself. "You can have me anywhere and you want me in the limo?"

"I've wanted to fuck you in a limo since our first date in Seattle," I confessed.

He smiled. "Well, here's your chance. I think you need to take all your clothes off though. I want to feel all of you." Doing as he asked, took off my shoes and pants. Then we were both completely naked. Reaching into the pocket of my jacket, I pulled out a package of lube.

"Get yourself ready while I watch." He took the lube and opened it, drizzling it on his fingers while I watched sprawled out in the seat across from him. Then he let his knee fall to the side, giving me a better view as he inserted his forefinger. "Fuck."

Keeping his eyes on me through heavy lids, he dropped his head against the seat and released a loud groan, half pain half pleasure. He eased his finger in and out a few times before adding a second and teasing me even more. With his free hand, he pinched a nipple and arched off the seat. I couldn't decide if I wanted to watch the pleasure on his face or the way his fingers readied his eager hole.

"You going to fuck me?" he asked huskily. "Because I want you to fuck me hard."

"Jesus, baby."

I pulled out a condom and sheathed my cock with it before slathering on lube. I moved off the seat to my knees on the floor in front of Edward. The seats were a perfect height. Gripping his hips, I moved his ass to the edge of the seat and placed my cock at his entrance. Slowly, I pushed inside, watching his face for pain and my cue to pause and wait for him to nod. When I had it, I rocked my hips forward in a steady movement until I was deep inside his tight channel. Hooking his legs on my shoulders, I bent him in half as I leaned down and smashed my mouth to his in a long kiss. I released his hips and placed my hands to the back of the seat for leverage. Gasping for breath, I broke the kiss and began to move my hips, gently as first and then more forcefully. Edward wrapped his hands around my biceps, his blunt nails digging into my skin as he begged for harder.

"Fuck me, love, fuck me," he moaned.

"You like it hard?" Sweat dripped from my forehead onto his lips and he licked it away and grunted his reply.

Repeatedly, I slammed into him with knifing thrusts. Sinking into the hot friction of his ass with each snap of my hips quickly put me on the edge of my climax, but I refused to let it spill over. Sitting back, I kept his ankles on my shoulders and I looked down to watch my cock sliding hard and fast into him. There was one thing better than seeing that, and that was watching Edward touch himself.

"Make yourself come," I murmured. My hand clutched the seat for control as he moved a hand from my arm to his cock, where he wrapped his fingers around his length and began to pump. The reddened head of his cock was shiny with precum and I could see it twitching in his fist. My rhythm faltered at the sight of him pressing his head into the seat as he stroked himself voraciously.

"I love you," I gasped through ragged breaths. "I fucking love you so much."

"I love you too," he grunted, his eyes meeting mine as his ass clamped around me in short spasms. "Oh fuck, fuck."

His cries pierced the limo as his cock pulsed and emptied, splashing cum onto his abs where it collected in the divots of his muscles. Panting for breath, his body relaxed and fell limp under me. He was surprised when I pulled out of him, but not when I sat back on my seat and spread my legs invitingly, motioning for him to come to me. Still wearing his cum, his sated body moved to my seat and straddled me. While I held my cock, he impaled himself on me.

The frenzied need from before had gone and we languidly kissed while Edward erotically raised and lowered himself onto me. His hands were in my hair, twisting the waves softly as we switched from fucking to making love.

"Need you so bad, baby," I whispered as his teeth scraped along my jaw and down my neck.

Our bodies pressed together, adhered with his cum. One hand remained on his hip, helping his weakened body move, while my other hand grazed up and down the knots in his spine, sending shivers through us both. His limp cock hung thick and heavy between us, still seeping from his climax. The brutal intimacy of what we were doing in the limo contradicted the harsh world just outside the car. Edward continued to ride me with slow, deliberate movements while we kissed and clawed at muscles as they rolled under heated skin. His ass was so tight and hot, and the way he slid up and down me drove me insane with need. Toying with the ends of my hair, Edward moved his lips to my ear.

"You looked hot tonight. I loved showing you off, I was so proud to have you with me," he murmured reverently. The sweet fire ignited in me and tingled through my pelvis and up my back.

"Edward," I grunted as my cock swelled and pulsed, releasing long bursts into the condom. The orgasm I'd been able to hold off on to enjoy the sensation of him on me powerfully surged through me. Exhausted, Edward fell against me, his head on my shoulders, his breaths washing over my neck. Still inside his used hole, my cock twitched with completeness and I wrapped my arms around his sweaty body. Turning my head, I nudged his hair off his forehead and kissed his temple.

"When is the next party?" I asked softly.

"Um, I'm not sure, why?" He lifted his head and looked at me curiously.

"Because I can't wait," I said with a smile before drawing him to me for a long kiss. He curled up on my lap, his head on my shoulder, his hands in my hair, and we watched the city pass by wrapped up in each other's arms and hearts and…souls.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

M&A won a few awards at the Hopeless Romantic Awards. Best Swinger (non canon sex sequence), Best Original Character (Spencer), Best Adapted Character (Riley), Best Non Canon Pairing

Second place: Best Story & Best Romance, Best Writer (Touchstone67) Thank you to all the nominated and voted!

There are still more outtakes to come, and for WN readers, don't worry if it's another few weeks before an update. I'm moving my son to college next weekend, and spending the week packing and getting ready. Also, working on an original fiction which is taking a lot of time! But don't worry, the boys _will_ be back with another big chapter.


	41. Born of Frustration

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own-sigh.**

A/N- Here is another outtake of the boys. These won't be done in any order, just as the urge to write a certain scene hits me. Some might take place after the epi, others during, or before. This one is before the epilogue, and was written for someone very special who means the world to me.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Epov**

I was hard.

And hot.

My skin beaded with sweat and my hair clung to my forehead in damp clumps as Jasper's weight pressed me into the mattress. His cock was rutting along the crease of my ass, already slicked from his precum as he rocked his hips into me. With my arms lying above me gripping the edge of the bed for leverage, I turned my head to the side and tried to push against him.

"Please," I begged uselessly and ground my cock into the blankets under me when I couldn't arch into him.

Jasper had been teasing me for almost an hour, dragging me to the edge of a climax, setting me on the precipice of it for several minutes at time before backing off right as I was ready to jump. Not matter what promises I made or how many obscenities I growled, he continued to ride that frustrating edge. The air in our room was thick with arousal and sweat. Jasper's wet curls tickled my cheek as leaned to kiss me, his tongue seeking out mine before withdrawing quickly with a groan.

Rolling off me onto his back, his chest rose with his quick breaths, his shiny erection throbbing upright. Sighing, I eyed his closed eyes. It wasn't unlike Jasper to tease me mercilessly, but it was unlike him not to finish me off after it all.

Something was up.

For a few days, he'd been avoiding sex. Well, not completely of course, he was still Jasper, but instead of our usual three or four times a day, it had only been once. Finally the day before he'd come home and told me to make sure our tuxes were ready because he was taking me out the next night. I asked where we were going and he smiled.

"It's a surprise."

I'd questioned him many times since then, and to Jasper's credit, he didn't once slip or reveal where he was taking me.

"Love?" I mumbled half into the mattress. He turned his head to me, opening his eyes sleepily. "What's going on?"

Leaning to me, he kissed me quickly, the bounded off the bed with a sudden spurt of energy. "I'm going to shower."

"Okay," I said slowly, sitting up. "I will too."

He held up a hand. "I need to shower alone."

"Why?" I pouted, moving to my side and propping myself up on my elbow. Maybe if he saw the goods, he'd be more tempted to sample them. His dick was still half-erect, thick and heavy between his legs.

"Because we will never get out of the shower and to where we're going on time," he explained.

"Which is?"

"Nice try. Oh, and don't touch yourself," he said with a wink and turned for the bathroom, calling out, "love you" as he closed the door.

When I heard the lock click, I groaned. I wanted to be pissed at him, but I couldn't. I'd seen the twinkle in his eyes, the flash of his smile, and I couldn't help but forgive the relentless taunting. I should have gotten out of bed and used the other bathroom shower, but found myself lying there waiting for Jasper. Regardless of his warning, I was more than a little tempted to finish myself off, but my curiosity had never been higher. Jasper appeared in the bathroom doorway with a towel tied around his hips and another in his hand as he furiously rubbed excess water from his hair. He looked up and saw me still sprawled on the bed watching him and a wicked smirk blossomed on his face.

"Edward?"

Falling onto my back, I released and exasperated breath. "Fine," I huffed as I sat up and got off the bed. "But you're going to pay for this later."

He whipped my ass with the towel as I walked by and I leaped at the sting. Glaring at him over my shoulder, I closed the bathroom door, making sure he heard the lock before I started the water. The steam from Jasper's shower still filled the stall and I could still smell his body wash and shampoo. I began to get hard again, my hand was wrapping around my cock before I even realized what I was doing and I released myself like I'd been burnt.

"God damn it," I muttered.

Washing as quickly as possible, I barely rinsed the shampoo from my hair before I was turning off the water and getting out. Still grumbling at the frustration achingly coursing through me, I swung the door open to find Jasper standing with his back was to me as he stood in front of the open closet door trying to tie his bowtie. Deep in concentration, he didn't notice me behind him as I took in his long legs covered in the expensive wool of the black custom-fitted pants, deliciously accentuating the curve of his ass. A leather belt was snug around his waist and his crisp white shirt was tucked into his pants. What little anger that had festered in me drained completely when I saw him. No matter how many times I'd seen him in a tuxedo, somehow he was always more beautiful than the last.

"Fuck me," he sighed as he released the tie and closed his eyes to rein in his temper before opening them and trying again.

"Need help?" I offered, finally taking a few steps from the bathroom.

"No," he refused, determined to do it on his own.

Ignoring him, I walked up behind him. Careful not to press my damp body to his, I reached around his neck. His eyes drifted from the bowtie to meet mine in the mirror, a silent thank you in them as I quickly worked the silk material in a perfect bowtie.

"I'll never be able to do it," he complained as I finished.

"Of course you will," I said, taking the opportunity to place my lips at his ear. "Besides, it's knowing how to take it off that's the most important part."

Stepping back, I gave him some space. He turned and retrieved his jacket from the hanger, slipping his arms through it and shifting it onto his wide shoulders. Buttoning one button, he scanned it for lint and absently brushed at the sleeves before lifting his head to find me staring at him. It wasn't like I didn't often openly admire Jasper, he was gorgeous and it didn't take much for me to be transfixed by him. Whether he was getting something from the cupboard, sitting on the couch working, or hovering over me, the mundane to the fucking hot, Jasper mesmerized me.

Suddenly, he was right in front of me, our lips almost touching as he breathed in my freshly showered scent. When his tongue darted out to lick his lips, it brushed along mine and I shuddered. Then I felt a finger skimming along my abs up the middle of my torso.

"Get dressed, Edward," he murmured before stepping back and leaving the room. The teasing shit was getting old real fucking fast. The frustration returned and I dropped the towel to the floor.

Once I was dressed, complete with leather shoes and my black tie, I put on my jacket and headed for the living room only to find it empty. Stilling, I listened for sounds of life, but other than the hum of the dishwasher, the apartment was silent. I hadn't heard Jasper leave, but then again, I had been too busy bitching under my breath the entire time. Just as I was about to find my cell phone to call him, the door opened and Toto trotted inside with her leash attached and Jasper at the other end.

"You walked her?" I asked suspiciously. Normally, it was our routine was to walk her together at night before we went to bed. The only time we didn't was when we planned on….

"Yeah, she was whining to go out," he said, not even bothering to hid the fact he was lying. Undoing her leash, he hung in on the hook by the door and walked over to me. I expected a kiss and grope, but instead, he appreciatively looked me up and down and held out his hand.

"Ready, handsome?"

Nodding, I accepted his hand, holding it while he locked the door. We walked down the hallway, and while I tried to focus on the patterned rug on the floor, my eyes glanced sideways to Jasper a dozen times before we even reached the elevators. He knew damn well how good he looked, it was in the confident, easy smile he wore, the way he flicked his head to move his hair out of his eyes, the way his shoulders and back were straight and proud. He loved being on my arm, walking next to me without having to hide who he was or who he loved. The elevator opened and we stepped in, our hands still clasped between us. His eyes wandered to mine in the muted gold reflection, and he mouthed 'love you'. The simple gesture had my heart racing and returned the words as I blushed.

At the bottom floor, the doors slid open and we walked through the marbled lobby, smiling at the doorman as we exited. There was a black limousine parked in front of us, the driver standing by the opened back door. Letting go of Jasper's hand, I got in, moving across the seat to give him room. After a few words with the driver, Jasper joined me, his hand immediately taking mine again. The door closed and then the car started to move. On any given night, there were many beautiful sights and buildings in Chicago, but it was Jasper who held my attention. His hair was the same length as always, his freshly washed waves landing about mid-cheek, which were flushed a natural pink as he stared out the window, the blue of his eyes flickering with the colored lights we passed. Inevitably, my eyes fell to his lips, his full bottom lip tucked between his teeth while he nibbled it.

"Where are we going?" I asked him, letting my thumb stroke the back of his hand in hopes of getting more.

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head. Normally in the back of a limo, he would have had me straddling him with my cock his hand, or even better, he would be bent over my lap with his head bobbing, but neither of those happened. In fact, other than our hands and our legs, we weren't touching.

"Why won't you touch me?" I asked softly, unable to hide the slight hurt lacing my voice.

"Trust me, it's not easy to resist," he groaned, his eyes dropping to my lips as he licked his own. "Nothing I want more right now, baby."

Leaning toward him, I whispered, "Then don't resist."

Jasper's eyes closed, quickly gathering his composure before he opened them again. The lust was still there, it'd never left, but there was something else weaved with it. "It will be worth it, trust me."

Sighing, I sat back and gave up. Lolling my head to the side, I settled for looking out the window and the feeling of his hand curled around mine.

"**~~**"

The house, or rather the mansion, was the biggest I'd ever seen in person. The semi-circle driveway was filled with limos, each dropping off people dressed in tuxes and dresses of every length. There was a huge fountain framed by manicured bushes in the middle of the driveway. We rolled to a stop and the driver opened our door.

"Where are we?" I asked as Jasper released my hand to get out.

"You'll see."

He waited for me, then spoke quietly to the driver before taking my hand in his again. Couples and groups mingled around us, the occasional laugh or greeting could be heard above the hushed chatter. The mansion was everything a mansion should be, marbled steps leading to a grand entryway decorated with twinkling lights, and welcoming as music floated out from the opened doors. I looked at Jasper in shock. Perhaps he had some rich colleagues, or maybe it was one of Peter's other homes. Giving me his crooked smile, he tugged on my hand and led me to the steps.

The inside was as grand as the outside, lit with chandeliers and more twinkle lights, there was a wide staircase and paintings in ornate frames on the walls. The entryway itself was larger than our apartment, to say nothing of the large rooms to our left and right, each one furnished with leather couches, chairs, and smooth tables. I'd been to some pretty elegant places, but none compared to where I was right then.

There were more people inside than outside, but it hardly seemed crowded, some people caught my eye more than others, like the woman wearing a red ball gown the same shade as her hair, or the older man dressed with an ascot. Then there were the two men standing at the bottom of the stairs.

One was a few inches taller than the other, his head dipped as he spoke to the other man, whose soft, brown waves shook when he chuckled in response. His eyes closed for a second, as if he was marinating the words, absorbing them before opening his eyes again and remembering where he was. Both were dressed in tuxedos, but the taller was in a bowtie while the brown haired man was in a straight tie and cummerbund. To anyone watching, they might look like friends, there were no obvious tells of a romance, but to anyone really watching them, they were clearly a couple. There was no hiding the simmering desire in the eyes of the taller man, nor the intimate leaning of his partner against him. As the taller one lifted his head, his eyes met mine. The glance was quick, nothing more than a once over, but it was enough to send a shiver up my spine. His pouty bottom lip teased a smile before he returned his attention his lover.

I reluctantly looked away, though my eyes were drawn back to them several times. Jasper led me around, picking up champagne and handing me a glass, his hand never leaving mine. We wandered through one of the large rooms and I observed those around us. The more I watched, the more I noticed something odd.

Everyone seemed to know everyone else.

Except us.

"Jasper," I said lowly, smiling to a woman who walked by. "Where are we?"

"A party," he answered.

"I know that," I growled, "but do you know these people?"

Jasper looked around, his practiced eyes had already assessed the place, he already knew how many people were there, who was with who, and most important of all, where the exits were. It was something he couldn't turn off, ingrained him, and Riley, so deeply that it was instinct for them to know exactly where they were and who they were with at all times.

"Not one of them," he answered honestly.

"Then what are we doing here?" I asked nervously. Putting his drink down, he leaned toward me, his lips at my ear.

"Just enjoy yourself, babe. Look at all the pretty boys here," he said quietly, "Like them over there."

He motioned to the couple I'd seen earlier. They had entered the room and were standing by the grand piano chatting with another couple.

"Look at that black hair and dark skin," Jasper purred, "look how well that tux fits him, just imagine his body under it." I gave the taller one a long look from head to toe before Jasper spoke again. "And his lover, have you ever seen lips like that, so plump and rosy against his pale skin? His eyes…as green as yours."

Of course Jasper knew they were a couple, he picked up on the same clues I had, only probably a lot faster.

"Imagine how hot they are fucking," he added to be sure I was appropriately lost in his words.

As if they heard us, the black haired man whispered to his lover, who immediately looked at us with a knowing smile on his face. There was no doubt they knew how hot they looked, how much of the attention in the room from women and men was directed at them. Swallowing, I forced myself to look away, following Jasper's voice as he directed me toward another man, older with short blond hair. I was about to say something to Jasper when the lights flickered. Confused, I turned to him, but he just smiled and pulled on my hand.

"This way," he said.

We followed everyone as the room emptied, returning to the entryway and standing at the bottom of the stairs. Seconds later, a man dressed in a tuxedo appeared at the top. He was young with dark hair and light eyes, and apparently well liked as everyone clapped except Jasper and me.

"Welcome," the man greeted, "for those who don't know me, my name is Brandon. For those who do know me, well…" he trailed off with a chuckled. "I'm thrilled you could all attend tonight, it's been far too long since I've seen some of you, and it's always nice to see new faces." His gaze fell on me.

My heart skipped a beat and Jasper leaned into me, resting his weight firmly against me, reminding me he was there. Exhaling a long breath, I relaxed and listened.

"Feel free to explore all the rooms, all the different…experiences we have to offer. I guarantee there is something for everyone. There are no private rooms, after all, that's not what we're all here for, is it? However, there are private showers fully equipped with anything you might need."

His speech was cryptic, and I was more confused than ever. I tossed the words in my head, trying to make sense of them, _private_,_experiences,_ _something__for__everyone._ Slowly, it dawned on me.

"Is this a sex party?" I murmured to Jasper.

"You could say that," he chuckled.

I looked at those around us in a new light, including the stunning couple who made my cock twitch. "These people are all here for sex?"

"Well, some form of it. Some to have, some just watch, some to exhibit," Jasper whispered.

He was so sure of himself, so confident. Then I realized, Jasper was in his element. _Sex._ Jasper was sex, sometimes he said it was all he ever knew, though I thought differently. The surprise for me wasn't the party, but rather the kind of party it was. The days of teasing and rejection all made perfect sense.

"Enjoy yourselves, and please, be responsible," Bandon finished, and with a wave of his arms, everyone dispersed, flittering away down the hallway and up the stairs.

"Let's get a drink," Jasper suggested, pulling me back to the large room we'd just left. "You look like you could use one."

Not arguing, I let him lead me to the bar along the far wall. There were fewer people in the room, but they all looked in our direction. Jasper ordered bourbon for me, smiling at the bartender as he picked up the drink and handed it to me.

"Drink up, baby."

Taking the shot glass from him, I didn't even pretend I didn't want it and drank it in one gulp. Jasper was leaning against the bar, his elbows resting on it while I stood next to him. He nudged me with his hand.

"You've got someone's eye," he said.

Turning, I followed his gaze the couple I'd been eyeing since we'd arrived. Jasper groaned as he watched them approach. The taller man had his hand on his lover's lower back, expertly guiding him around the couches and people while subtly letting everyone know who he was there with. I tensed as they neared but Jasper remained relaxed. The couple stopped in front of us, the taller man catching the bartender's eyes.

"Whiskey and a vodka, please," he ordered in a velvet voice and British accent before extending his hand to me. "Tristan."

Not hesitating, I shook it, noticing his long fingers. "Edward."

"This is Wesley," Tristan introduced. Wesley shook my hand before reaching for Jasper's.

"Nice to meet you…" Wesley said, waiting for Jasper to fill in the blank. I'd expected his accent to mirror his lover's, but it didn't. There was a distinct Irish stress on his words.

"Jasper," my boyfriend supplied.

Tristan thanked the bartender, then handed Wesley his drink before picking up his own. From a distance, they had made a stunning pair, but up close, they were breathtaking. Tristan's eyes were uniquely grey, framed with long lashes and more intense than I had first thought, they harbored a familiar darkness I'd seen in Jasper's many times.

Wesley was simply beautiful. His pale skin was almost translucent, glowing in the soft light that bounced off the shades of brown waves, even hinting at some red highlights. Large green eyes were curious, infectious in their charm and flirtatious way even though he didn't say a word. While Tristan might have Jasper's eyes, Wesley had Riley's charm, innate and uncontrollable, it just oozed from him. Tilting his head, perfect teeth nibbled on his bottom lip as he considered both Jasper and me. I wasn't surprised when his eyes finally settled on my lover.

"Jasper is an interesting name," he said, and my cock twitched at his heavy accent. I thought Jasper's slight drawl was hot, but it had nothing on either of these two.

Jasper quickly sized up Wesley's words as a compliment, and gave him a one-sided dimpled smile. "Thanks, Wesley," he replied, adding a bit of his own accent for effect.

Wesley smiled and glanced up at Tristan. No words passed aloud between them, but a conversation most definitely took place. They were not only together, but had been for some time. Tristan finished his whiskey quickly while Wesley nursed his drink a bit more, letting the alcohol wet his lips before purposely licking it off with a drag of his tongue. Placing his glass on the bar, Tristan spoke again.

"Formalities are done," he smirked, "what do you say we get a room?"

My eyes widened. They wanted a room with us. They wanted to have sex with us, or with each other while were there, or…my mind raced with the possibilities and my cock enjoyed each one. Still, as much as I was intrigued by the offer, I didn't know if I was ready for it.

Somehow Jasper knew, and came to my rescue. "Sorry, boys. Maybe later?"

Tristan nodded, not the least slighted by Jasper's refusal. He had no need to be, it wasn't like he couldn't have anyone he wanted in that house. Wesley took a step closer to Jasper, who remained relaxed as Wesley ran a finger down Jasper's chest.

"You and I later?" he asked boldly.

"That's up to him," Jasper answered, motioning to me. "He's the boss tonight."

Wesley eyed me, his flirty smile in place. "I think I can convince him. Something tells me he wouldn't mind seeing your dick in my mouth."

My knees weakened at the thought. Having someone there want Jasper as much as I did aroused me even more. I didn't have to answer for Jasper to know I was already considering it.

Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist and winked at Wesley. "Looks like you might get your wish after all. Nice to meet you both."

There was a confidence in Tristan's slate eyes that we would no doubt see them later. Wesley stepped toward him, drawn to him like magnets that had been separated for too long. Tristan subtly nuzzled Wesley's temple, welcoming him back, before straightening to his full height.

"I'm sure we'll see you both around," Tristan said as he pulled Wesley closer to his side. Jasper pushed off the bar, taking me with him and leaving the stunning couple with a hopeful smile for later.

"Where are we going?" I asked him even more nervous than before.

"Let's explore," he answered, keeping me close as he brought us up the stairs.

Afraid at what I might see if I looked up, my eyes were glued to the steps as we ascended them. I paid no attention to the paintings on the walls or those passing us on their way down, only Jasper's arm securely around me. With each step, the grunts, moans, cries, and a few unidentifiable noises became louder, and my heart skipped several beats. In a boardroom, I could command, I was confident of my abilities, but this was…way out of my league. At the top, Jasper turned left without hesitating. Finally looking up, I noticed opened doors lining the wide carpeted hallway.

"C'mon," Jasper encouraged when he felt me slowing. "Just to watch, I promise."

Trusting him, I let him continue to guide me to the first door. Keeping my eyes down, I listened to the sounds coming from the room until I was too curious and had to look up.

It was a typical bedroom, but the two men weren't on the bed, they were on the floor. The bottom was flat on his stomach, his ass raised slightly as his lover drove into him with sharp thrusts. With each one, the bottom cried out in pleasure, his eyes tightly shut, his hands fisted as he begged for it harder. There was a look of pure ecstasy on the top's face, his orgasm ready to crash over him with the next few thrusts.

There was nothing out of the ordinary about the room or the couple, or even what they were doing, which is what turned me on so much. It felt private, less of a show and more a loss of control. They didn't care who saw them as long as they were fucking. Standing behind me, Jasper put his lips at my ear, his arm winding around my middle as he nibbled on my lobe and traced the shell before speaking.

"Want me to fuck you like that, baby?"

"Yeah," I answered. Jasper's hand moved lower until he was palming my erection, pushing his hips into my from behind to let me feel his own arousal.

"Do you want people to watch me fuck you?"

He knew I did. It'd had been a fantasy of mine since we'd met. That was when I realized we were there for Jasper to make it come true. My head fell on his shoulder at the thought and he took advantage and began kissing along my neck, nipping and biting to my jaw. The movement of his hips never ceased as he began stroking me through my pants. Not wanting to come then, I went to push his hand away.

"It's okay," he soothed, "we've got all night, babe. You can come again later."

It was tempting, to just let him pull my cock out and stroke me, but I wanted more than that. Jasper didn't argue, he took his hand away, leaving it on my hip as he rocked us. A few people gathered to watch the couple, but quickly grew bored of the simplistic fucking and wandered off. Jasper and I watched until the couple came, and even a bit of their afterglow as they kissed and licked each other clean. Taking my hand, Jasper led me to the next room, nodding to a few people we passed.

There were rooms with different role play, one with mattresses on the floor and various groups having sex, and another with two men in leather pants being sucked off by two women. Each room was like a live porn show, quite literally, but my favorite was the room on the end.

It was equipped with book shelves, a large desk with a leather chair, both angled so viewers could see everything. It wasn't the setup that turned me on, it was who was in there.

Tristan sat behind the desk, his discarded jacket hanging over the back of the chair, his white shirt unbuttoned to expose the taut body I had known was under it. He was relaxed, slouched back in the chair with his pants unzipped. Long and thick, his cock was erect, and it was entirely due to the man in front of him.

Sprawled on his back on the desk, his legs dangling off it with his feet brushing against Tristan's knees was an almost naked Wesley. His pants and briefs were somewhere on the floor, and while his shirt was still on, it was unbuttoned and hanging open like Tristan's. Smaller than Tristan, Wesley's wiry muscles formed a thin, tight body and his hair fell in his eyes as he bit his lip demurely and impatiently waited for Tristan. Smirking, he mouthed something to Wesley, who quickly blushed in return. There was nothing said to the viewers, but their rules were obvious. Wesley wasn't allowed to touch himself unless directed by Tristan to do so. Meanwhile, Tristan wasn't allowed to touch Wesley, only himself.

"Stroke your big, hard cock, baby," Tristan instructed in his rich accent.

Wesley did as told, wrapping his fingers around himself and dragging them up once. A long moan fell from him as his hand followed the directions of his lover. Tristan's grey eyes never wavered from Wesley, it was if he was unaware they were being watched, and certainly not by so many. Wesley returned Tristan's intense stare as he lazily pumped himself.

"Close your eyes, love," Tristan directed, and Wesley immediately did as told. Their connection was strong even when they couldn't see each other. In fact, Wesley's body trembled as Tristan's gaze traveled from Wesley's face down his torso to his hips. Wesley's heavy erection, reddened with need, twitched when Tristan's eyes landed on it.

"Put a foot up on the desk, spread your legs," Tristan groaned, showing for the first time how affected he was by the sight in front of him.

Without hesitation, Wesley lifted his foot and placed it on the edge of the desk, letting his knee fall down a bit and opening himself. Tristan's hand left the armrest and moved to his cock, his eyes fluttering for a few seconds as he slowly stroked himself. His eyes darted between Wesley's hand moving furiously over his own cock and the entrance he'd exposed.

"Your ass taste so good. Suck your fingers, gorgeous," Tristan said huskily. Moaning, Wesley put two fingers in his mouth, twisting them as he licked them thoroughly with his tongue. "Now slip them in your ass."

Sliding them down his chest, Wesley moved his hands over his abs and around his hips to his ass. We all watched as his middle finger traced his hole before he gently inserted it.

"That's it, love, rub your prostate," Tristan whispered roughly.

Wesley's head thrashed from side to side, disheveling his hair as he began to move his finger in and out of himself, brushing along his gland. My hips rocked with his as he lifted them off the desk. Tristan licked his lips, his control slipping with each plunge of Wesley's finger.

"How does it feel?"

"Tristan…" Wesley answered breathlessly. It was as if he was unable to say more, as if nothing else occurred to him right then except for the sound of his lover's voice and touch of his hands on himself.

"You're so tight." Tristan shifted in the chair, still not moving to touch Wesley in any way, but bringing his other hand to cup his balls, tugging on them a bit. Wesley's broken whimpers filled the air as he increased the pace of his hand along his cock. "What do you want?"

"You," Wesley answered simply.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Fuck me," Wesley murmured. There were moans of agreement from those watching.

"Not now," Tristan denied him and us. His eyes were half closed in desire, tracking the motions of Wesley's hands and hips. For now I just watch."

A loud groan from Wesley brought my attention back to him and I found myself breathing heavily as Tristan guided Wesley to the edge of his climax. Wesley's face and chest flushed pink as he squirmed on the desk, pleasing himself and Tristan.

"I want to see you come for me, love," Tristan confessed, his own chest rising quickly with excited breaths.

A few strokes later and Wesley was calling out Tristan's name, letting us know exactly who he was thinking of as he came, cum landing delicately on his chest as his cock released short bursts. Wesley stilled, his body occasionally wracked by shudders, but Tristan's hand didn't stop. He stroked himself hard and fast, his eyes remaining open as he watched the aftermath of Wesley's orgasm ebb through him. With a few grunts, Tristan followed Wesley and came, his cock erupting onto his defined abdomen. Letting go of his cock, he reached for Wesley's hips, placing a kiss on the semi-soft cock and licking the head clean before pulling Wesley off the desk and onto his lap. Wesley's satiated body fell weakly against Tristan, his arms going around Tristan's neck as he leaned into kiss him. No longer just twitching, my cock ached in my pants.

"Did you like that?" Jasper asked me.

"Yes," I gasped.

"Think we should do that sometime?"

"Yes," I repeated, barely realizing he was pulling me away

He paused at the next door, a simple room, but the walls were mirrors and instead of a bed, the floor was covered with mattresses and blankets. There wasn't just one couple in the room, but rather seven people, both men and women, in various positions but all connected. It was a mass of bodies, breasts and cocks. We joined those watching for a few minutes before Jasper took my hand.

"Let's get a drink," Jasper suggested and we returned to the bar downstairs.

I needed more bourbon if I was going to have sex for others to view and judge. Suddenly nervous, I took the glass the bartender gave me and downed it, the amber liquid burning my throat. "Another, please?"

Jasper chuckled and shook his head, his eyes glancing over my shoulder at something. "I'm going to use the restroom, I'll be right back."

Nodding, I accepted the second ordered glass and brought it to my lips when I felt someone behind me.

"Enjoying yourself?" a low voice asked in a pleasant British accent. Placing the glass on the table, I turned to find Tristan standing close, his eyes sparkling with mischief as heat emanated from him.

"Yes, you?" I tried to hold my voice steady, but given the show he'd just put on for us, I found my pulse racing at his nearness.

"Very much," he smiled knowingly, his hungry gaze roaming over me.

"Where's Wesley?"

"I believe he just followed your boyfriend into the restroom," he teased, before asking, "Have you had a favorite so far?"

"Room six," I answered immediately, knowing what I was admitting. If he hadn't seen me watching, he now knew I had been.

"How come?" he asked almost innocently, as if he didn't already know.

"It felt intimate, like I was a voyeur and not like you were putting on a show," I replied embarrassedly.

"Do you like to watch," he asked huskily, stepping even closer and allowing me to smell the remains of arousal on him, "or be watched?"

"Both," I choked out.

"Fair enough," he smirked. "We've done one, perhaps later we can do the other."

Trembling at his offer, I nodded, sucking in a breath when the rough pad of his thumb ran along my lower lip. When he was convinced I was sufficiently weak in the knees, he turned and walked away. My eyes tracked his path, not surprised when he stopped and Wesley appeared in front of him.

Just as I finished off my drink, Jasper returned. Leaning in, he pulled me into a kiss, the first real one since we'd arrived. Moaning, I turned fully to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and tilting my head for him. Jasper wasted no time, plunging his tongue into my mouth and sweeping it over mine before exploring more. His timing was too perfect, his leaving and returning. He'd wanted, encouraged, Tristan to approach me alone.

"It might be a sex party, but they do have rules," Jasper said, pulling away far too soon.

"Like?"

"No fucking on the bar," he chuckled. "And as much as I want to fuck you right here, all sex needs to be in designated areas."

It wasn't just a statement, it was a question. He was asking me if I was ready, if I wanted a room, if I wanted to have him fuck me in public.

"Yes," I answered softly.

"You sure?" he asked, his forehead to mine, "We can just watch if you prefer?"

"No, I've wanted this a long time, let's do it."

Straightening, he grinned in relief. "That's my boy."

Nervous, I took his hand and let him lead me out of the room. I was surprised when he didn't head to the stairs, but instead, he walked down a hallway toward the back of the house. There was a large double door at the end, and through that, one of the most amazing rooms I'd ever seen.

It ran the entire width of the house, completely open with hardwood floors. I briefly considered that it might have been a ballroom when not filled with about a dozen beds. Not just beds, but round ones, complete with blankets and pillows in different colors. Each one was draped in canopy of white sheer gauze that hung from the ceiling. While the curtains offered some privacy, it was easy to see various couples on the beds in different stages of sex. Next to each bed was a small table with various toys, lube and a bowl of condoms. There were others in there, standing around certain beds or walking from one to another. Some of them were kissing, some a bit more involved while others were just watching.

It was a sex heaven.

Jasper's hand was still around mine and he squeezed it, bringing me back to him. He looked at me through a few strands of hair that had fallen in front of his face. Reaching up, I brushed them back, tucking them behind his ear before dragging my finger down his cheek to his lips. His eyes closed for a second, reopening them with an awakened desire.

"Are you sure?" he asked one final time, giving me the out he would always provide me with when we were doing something like this. Jasper would never push me to do something, he merely offered me the opportunity and let me make the final decision.

"Positive," I whispered, "I want you to fuck me."

"I want nothing more," he murmured, guiding me to an empty bed to the right.

"Do they change the sheets?" I asked hesitantly.

Jasper laughed. "There are new sheets in the drawers and blankets and pillows under the beds. Each couple is responsible for changing them when they leave."

Reaching the bed, he pulled the gauze curtain aside, ushering me inside before letting the curtain fall back into place. He released my hand so I could investigate. As he sat down, I went to the table, eyeing the supplies.

"Douches? They really do think of everything."

"That's the idea. The complete freedom to do what you want, Brandon tries to make it as easy on everyone as possible. Free their mind to explore their inner desires," Jasper explained, leaning back on his hands.

It sounded like he'd heard the speech a few times. The clues began to fall into place, Brandon not looking at Jasper as a new face, the way Jasper already knew where everything was, how he knew about the sheets and blankets.

"Have you been here before?" I asked, not sure I was ready to hear the answer.

"Yes," he answered honestly. Not giving me any more details, he reached for my hand and pulled me between his parted legs. Placing his hands on my hips, he looked up at me. "Can I touch you?"

I was nervous, really fucking nervous, and self-conscious. There were already people looking in our direction, I was already on display and we hadn't even done anything yet. My heart pounded, rushing blood through me at lightning speed. Taking a deep breath, I looked down at Jasper and nodded.

Standing, he pressed himself to me, his lips capturing mine in a heated kiss. There were no light caresses, it was instantly demanding and needy. Fears washed away when his tongue swirled with mine and he swallowed my moan. The rest of the room, the sounds and looks, faded as I melted into Jasper. It seemed his hands were everywhere, running up my back under my jacket, tugging on my hair, and undoing my belt. Touches were desperate, the desires that had been smoldering all night were finally freed and we couldn't get enough of each other. I was vaguely aware of my jacket being slipped down my arms to the floor and his fingers deftly working the pearl buttons of my shirt. Groaning when I felt his warm hands on my sides, finally flesh to flesh, I unwrapped my arms from his neck as he reached for my tie. Skillfully pulling on end and untying it in one motion.

"The most important part is knowing how to take it off," I said, referring to my comment at our apartment.

Jasper released me, putting a few inches between us, but holding my gaze the entire time as he slid off his jacket and undid his own tie but left it around his neck. After unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt, he reached for me again, kissing me even harder.

Turning us, he backed me up until my legs were against the bed. Overwhelmed by his presence, his scent and heat and touch, I swayed slightly. Jasper chuckled into the kiss, smiling against my bruised lips. With one swift movement, my shirt was gone and Jasper was kissing along my jaw line, his hand pushing my head back to expose the delicate skin of my throat. I slung my arms over his shoulders and leaned back, giving him more access. He left wet kisses over collarbone before continuing to my chest. Supporting me with his strong arms around my waist, he bent over and latched onto a nipple, lavishing it with harsh bites followed by his soothing tongue.

My head lulled back and my eyes closed as Jasper worked his way down my body. When his tongue traced the lines of my abdomen, I shivered. The fire only he could ignite began to burn hotter, and I could do nothing to stop it even if I wanted to. My hands ended up on his shoulders, perhaps to push his mouth to where I wanted it most. With one last kiss to the trail of hair above my pants, Jasper lowered himself to his knees before me. Shaky breaths escaped me as his fingers undid my belt and unbuttoned my pants. I didn't hear the zipper, but I felt my pants fall open and the moist heat from Jasper's breath as he kissed along my erection.

"Fuck," I mumbled, surprised when it echoed around me in a voice that wasn't Jasper's. It took great effort, but I slowly lifted my head and opened my eyes.

Just a few feet away on the other side of the wispy curtain were four men watching us, two casually, the other two more actively interested. Tristan stood tall behind Wesley, one hand firmly on Wesley's hip while his other held a glass of champagne. Tristan murmured in Wesley's ear and Wesley's eyes clouded over with each word Tristan tempted him with. When our eyes met, Tristan smiled, and reaching up, he turned Wesley's head toward him and kissed him, but his eyes never left mine.

Sliding his hands around to my ass, Jasper hooked his fingers under the band of my briefs and eased them down as he freed my cock. Dropping my gaze from Tristan to Jasper, I let my hands tangle in his hair and his eyes lifted to meet mine. His tongue lapped the head of my cock, dipping into the slit before he parted his lips and engulfed me.

"Jesus, love," I groaned, watching his swollen lips move over me as he took me into his throat.

Jasper skillfully worked me, scraping his teeth along my length before stilling and waiting for me. Fisting his hair tightly, I began to thrust evenly into his mouth, sinking my cock deep into his throat and hissing when I tapped the back of it. Jasper never flinched, he only continued to watch me and allow me to fuck his mouth at will. I felt powerful with a beautiful man on his knees before me, completely at my mercy in front of our viewers. Tearing my eyes from Jasper's lips, I rose them to Wesley and Tristan, and found them both watching me. Tristan's fingers absently stroked the glass he held, spreading the beaded moisture around the smooth crystal. His own gaze darted between my cock sliding in and out of Jasper's mouth and his lover who leaned back against him. The grinding of Tristan's hips against Wesley's ass was subtle, but the words I overheard him whispering were not.

The flat of Jasper's tongue rubbed along the bottom of my cock with each thrust and I stopped moving. It was all too much, being watched and Jasper's expert mouth had tightened the coil in my belly. All too soon, I pulled from his mouth. Jasper pulled my pants and briefs down my thighs to my knees before wrapping his hand around my cock and pressing it against my abs. Leaning forward, he took one of my balls into his mouth. Sucking on it, he slurped and tugged until it was thoroughly soaked before releasing and moving to the other. Involuntarily, my eyes drifted closed and I widened my stance to give him more room.

"Oh fuck, fuck…." I moaned when I felt his finger along the soft skin behind my balls. When it circled my entrance, I hissed and pleaded for more. Before it even registered that his finger was gone, I found myself on the bed, my shoes, socks, and pants gone from me, and my legs spread with his body between them. One of his fingers teased me before finally pushing the tip inside.

"Feel good, baby?" he asked softly as I writhed before him. Clenching the bedspread with my hands, I ground my hips onto his finger and nodded as I closed my eyes.

"More," I begged, groaning in relief when I felt the slight burn of a second finger joining the first, both of them thrusting steadily.

His returned his mouth to my balls, licking and drawing them into his mouth as he fingered me, gliding the tips across my prostate and sending a tingly warmth through me. Just as he pushed me to the edge once again, he backed off, taking his fingers from me and sitting up.

My eyes opened at his absence, and I watched as stood and undressed. His movements were slow and deliberate, giving me enough to time to back away from my climax while still keeping me hard. He stripped for me and me alone, the others watching didn't matter to him. When only his briefs were left, he gave me one final chance to change my mind. Once he was undressed and on me, there would be no turning back. Even Jasper didn't have that kind of control. His eyes held mine as he slid his underwear down over his hips. As enthralled with the image I was, I still heard the moans from those watching as Jasper finally revealed himself. Standing in front of me, his body tight and firm, his cock hard, he gave me a smile.

"Turn over, baby," he said, putting his hand on my thigh.

I did as he asked, flipping onto my stomach and moving to the center of the bed. When I didn't immediately feel Jasper, I looked over my shoulder and found him still standing there, pumping himself as he stared at my ass. It took me a few seconds to realize what he was doing.

He was showing me off.

He wanted everyone to see the body he got to fuck every night, that curled into his side and woke up wanting more. Before I could get too self-conscious, Jasper crawled on top of me, lying flush on me just as he had before we'd showered earlier. His cock rubbed along my ass while his mouth trailed kisses over the nape of my neck and shoulders. Stretching, he took my hands and pulled them straight out above my head, until we were touching from head to feet, but I wanted more, so much more.

"Need you," I gasped, turning my head to beg for a kiss.

He gave in, his tongue finding its way into my mouth. Pulling back, he put his lips to my ear. "You're so fucking hot," he murmured hoarsely. "Look at them, Edward."

As turned on as I was, part of me didn't want to look, I didn't want to chance seeing disappointed faces, or worse, that they had left, but I trusted Jasper. Lifting my eyes to our audience, I groaned. There were two men jerking off, openly dragging their hands over their cocks from base to tip. Another guy was receiving head from his lover, and Tristan and Wesley were still there. Wesley's jack and shirt were undone, revealing his pale, luminescent skin. Tristan's hands were freely roaming up and down Wesley's torso, pinching his nipples as he kissed along the bend of Wesley's neck. Tristan's long lashes rose as he opened his eyes, sliding them to meet mine in a rapt look of mutual lust. I remembered his offer from earlier and shuddered.

"He likes you," Jasper said in a throaty murmur.

"I like him," I replied loud enough for Tristan to hear me. The corner of his lips curled up against Wesley's skin, who released a loud groan, and I knew where Tristan's hand had gone. When I looked down, I saw Tristan's hand under the waistband of Wesley's pants.

"They're hard because of you," Jasper whispered, nuzzling my hair with his nose. "They want to see me fuck you. They want to come while watching us."

"Fuck…"

"Want let them watch?"

"Yes," I rasped.

Letting go of my hands, Jasper placed his palms next to my sides and pushed himself up so he was straddling me. Reaching for the table, he grabbed a bottle of lube and a condom. I waited, grinding my hips into the bed while sheathed and lubed his cock. Between my legs, he ran his slick fingers over my hole, coating it before withdrawing them. Putting his hands at my hips, he jerked them up and I scrambled to all fours, trembling when he reassuringly ran a hand up the curve of my spine before putting it on my shoulder. It'd seemed days since I'd felt him inside me and the anticipation was maddening.

"Please," I begged, "fuck me."

The words and their pleading tone were his undoing and he pushed the head of his cock inside me. My muscles stretching in relief, the burn spread through my groin, heating me from the inside out.

With one hand gripping the crook of my hip, he steadily entered me and then began snapping his hips in a tight rhythm.

"Yeah, that's it, fuck him hard," someone called out through ragged breaths.

The carnal timbre of moans of pleasure filled the air, mingling above us to join our own. Jasper's thighs slapped me as he quickened his pace, his hand moved to my hair, fisting it and pulling my head up, forcing me to look at our audience. One of the guys jerking off came just then, his cock emptying onto the floor, the other was close, his hand furiously moving over himself. The other two giving head were still going at it, the guy standing fucking his lover's mouth.

Finally, I looked at Tristan and Wesley, who was in a state of further undress. His pants were now undone, loosely hanging open as Tristan's large hand stroked him through the black cotton. While I watched, Tristan slipped Wesley's cock from his briefs. Wesley's head fell back onto Tristan's shoulder, who supported him completely. There was a raw hunger in Tristan's grey eyes, one I was certain matched my own, as he watched us. With knifing thrusts, Jasper fucked me in front of everyone, anyone who wanted to watch. We had a constant audience, but others were constantly walking by, admiring as they passed on their way to a bed of their own. I could hear the cries as people climaxed, exciting me even further.

Other than breathing heavily, Jasper was quiet, focused on me and only me. His eyes didn't stray as mine did. For him, I was the only one there, but he was fully aware of who was watching and what they were doing. Sliding into me hard and fast, he released my hair and returned his hand to my shoulder for leverage. The coil, which had already tightened so many times, was ready to spring. The hours of foreplay and teasing had taken its toll, I wasn't going to last much longer. Sensing my impending orgasm, Jasper, much to my frustration, suddenly stopped. Without slipping from me, he leaned forward and curled an arm around my middle.

"C'mere," he murmured, pulling me upright.

Taking me with him, Jasper sat back on his calves, impaling me on his cock. Moving his hand from my abdomen to my erection, he languidly pumped me and wrapped his other arm around my chest. Closing my eyes, I reached around and grasped at his hip, feeling the muscles as he moved. Leaning against him, I circled my hips, grinding erotically and earning a guttural moan from him. When I laid my head on his shoulder, he returned his lips to my ear.

"Look at them," he demanded again breathlessly.

I obeyed, my eyes going straight to Tristan. I found him watching me as he stroked Wesley, whose hips were thrusting into Tristan's tight fist. Wesley's abs flexed as he moved, his chest heaving as he fought for breath. The brutal intimacy of what Jasper and I were doing was shamelessly on display, and they were enjoying it. It wasn't wrong, it was decadent. Taking his hand from my cock, Jasper moved it back to my hip, his thumb brushing my hipbone as he used his other hand to turn my chin to him. Slanting his mouth over mine, he edge my jaw open and entered his tongue. Jasper was losing control as quickly as I was. His thrusts were punctuated with grunts of effort, reverberating through his body, rumbling his chest against my back. Taking my hand in his, he laced our fingers together.

It was private and primal, needy and wanton. It was us and what we shared and had been through to make it to that point, to where we could make love for everyone to see, and yet somehow, still make it about us. Our motions weren't frenzied, they were reverent and tender even as we neared our orgasms.

"Love you," he murmured and the coil inside me shattered, sending ripples of sensation throughout me.

Without a touch, my cock erupted in short bursts onto the bedspread. As ecstasy rocked through me, I was dimly aware of those watching, of their own strangled cries. My orgasm seared through me, singeing every nerve with the bliss I'd been denied all day. Falling limp against Jasper, I gave my body to him. Holding me tightly, he dropped his head to my shoulder and rocked into me. Wrapping an arm up and around his neck, I tunneled my fingers through his hair.

"So tight, baby," he moaned, his nails digging into me as he desperately chased his orgasm.

Through half-lidded eyes, I watched Wesley as he eyed Jasper, drinking in his every move while Tristan coaxed him. It was only a few strokes later that Wesley came, screwing his eyes shut and grunting. I watched his cock explode in Tristan's hand, his body shaking in his lover's strong embrace. A few thrusts later, Jasper followed, his cock pulsing inside me, filling the condom with his warmth as his breaths washed over my back. Gently, he lifted my hips and slipped his cock from me. Seconds later, the condom was off and he was pulling me down onto the bed with him. Turning me on my side to face him, Jasper molded his body to mine, slinging a leg over and pulling me even closer, our spent cocks pressing together. After a lingering kiss, Jasper lifted his head to those watching.

"Show's over guys," he chuckled. Before he placed his head back on the pillow, he winked at Wesley and mouthed, "Later."

It confirmed we were there for the night, and that Jasper had more plans for us.

Returning his attention to me, he put his hand on my side and curled his other under his head. "Did you like it?"

Unable to comprehend what we had just done in front of people, what Jasper had given me, I was only able to nod. Smiling, he kissed me again. We were close as to people could get, but Jasper moved even closer, practically crawling inside me. Glancing over his shoulder, I saw Tristan leading Wesley to an empty bed, watching as they undressed and lay down. I wanted to stay awake, I wanted to watch, but my eyes started to close against my will.

"You're mine," Jasper whispered.

It was the last thing I heard before falling asleep wrapped in the arms of the man I loved, but in front of those who desired us.

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Hope you enjoyed the boys and their new friends. More outtakes to come!

I've recommended this story to WN readers, and want to share it with you all as well. If you've not read it already, do so now. It's simply beautiful…. http:/www DOT fanfiction DOT net/s/7358323/1/Bones


	42. The Scarecrow Gets His Wish

**Disclaimer: S. Myer owns all, but what I wouldn't give for a Jasper of my very own.**

A/N- Here is an outtake of the boys, an alternate ending to the epilogue. What would have happened if Peter had agreed to Riley's suggestion? If a foursome isn't your thing, move along. This chapter is dedicated to someone incredibly special to me, whom I adore with all my heart.

This chapter is unbeta'd, any and all mistakes, grammatical and otherwise, are my own.

"**~~**"

**Jpov**

The limo passed the colorful lights of the city, the tall office buildings and stores brightly lit up even in the late night. Edward was tucked into my side, his body still relaxed from his orgasms earlier. Riley and Peter sat across from us, close, but not touching, as Peter's eyes tracked the buildings we passed. Knowing him, he was memorizing each one, its location and type. He'd spent a fair amount of time in Chicago, but he had yet to see it from Riley's eyes.

And no one had eyes like Riley.

"I'll pick you up at ten," Riley announced in response to my agreeing to go shopping with him. "Then shopping, lunch, massages with happy endings…" he trailed off with a slight giggle, amusing himself.

"There's a nice spa at Peninsula," Peter said absently, slowly turning his attention back to the conversation. "You could have them there."

The Peninsula Chicago was beautiful, I'd held a few functions for Carlson PR there, but as elegant as it was, I found myself offering our place to them without discussing it with Edward first. "You can stay with us," I blurted.

"Can we? Please," Riley begged, his voice instinctively dropping into a seductive tone.

It was unlikely Peter would give in to Riley's charms, he had done so twice already, I highly doubted he would again.

"Maybe next time, I don't want to intrude," Peter replied halfheartedly, confirming my suspicions.

There was a certain amount of satisfaction I felt from correctly predicting Peter's response, however, as well as I thought I knew Peter, I had forgotten how convincing Riley could be.

I simply underestimated my whore's talent.

Riley's pout quickly returned and he dipped his head while looking at Peter through his lashes and running a finger down Peter's cheek. "But I was hoping that you and Jasper could DP me."

Peter was the first to react to Riley's suggestion, a brief flash of consideration passing through his Pacific eyes as he imagined the scenario Riley had propositioned, before he coughed and a rare blush tinted his cheeks. I didn't doubt it was an image he had thought about often.

"Jesus, Rile," I groaned, my cock twitching.

"What about me?" Edward said, his head resting on my shoulder.

"I'm not sure you could handle them both, Beautiful," Riley answered, "but you can watch."

Peter leaned toward Riley, putting his lips to Riley's ear, speaking quietly for Riley only. Riley's eyes closed and he shivered just as his cheeks stained pink from whatever Peter was saying. When Peter straightened and Riley's eyes opened, they were clear and bright and flirty. Peter worked his magic on Riley as much as Riley did him.

Then he surprised us all, especially me.

"He thinks Beautiful might not approve of that, but that maybe we could work something else out," Riley explained, his voice raspy as many ideas were already forming in his mind.

I listened to Riley's words, my mind working as fast and as kinky as his, but I felt the weight of Peter's stare on me and my eyes drifted from Riley's knowing smirk to Peter. Hooded eyes gazed at me, judging the surprise he knew he'd find in my own blue ones. It wasn't that the Peter I knew wouldn't be open to the idea of a foursome, in fact I was almost certain he had been involved in several, it was who he was agreeing to have it with.

Edward.

The man who had beaten him for my heart, who had lured me to move thousands of miles away from him, who had been the only one to separate me from Riley. It wasn't that Peter wasn't confident in his sexual skills, he knew exactly how good he was, but after all we'd been through, I was a little surprised he would agree to watching someone else touch me so intimately. Then again, maybe that was exactly what it was, he would also get the chance to touch me again, as well as show off his many talents.

The tension in the car doubled, a sexual energy buzzing in the air around us. Edward raised his head from my shoulder, his eyes falling directly on Peter. Even though Edward was sitting in the back of a limo with his defenses lowered after being fucked against a wall of a club, he was still a formidable force. There was rarely a challenge Edward backed down from, he had power and control swelling through him, ready to confront those who dare step up to him. Like Peter, Edward commanded, demanded, respect in his surroundings and his work, but in the bedroom they were miles apart. While Peter still dominated in a bedroom, Edward let himself go, handing that control over to me. I felt his body thrumming, his heart racing as he too imagined the possibilities. He lifted his chin defiantly, he knew what he had, he knew how sexy and desirable he was.

He knew he had my heart.

"What did you have in mind?" he dared Peter's offer.

If Peter was surprised by Edward's reply, he hid it well, instead, a corner of his lip turned up and without a glance at Riley, told us exactly what he had in mind. "Considering our…situation, there are limitations to respect, but I don't think any of us would object to," he paused, perhaps out of anticipation of his idea, "_our_ boys giving us a show."

Riley's eyes rolled back into his head and he bit down on his lower lip, pushing the plump flush out the sides of his perfect teeth and releasing a throaty groan. Edward swallowed thickly. It was actually something he'd fantasized about many times, either jerking off on his own or to my whispered words in his ears as I fucked him. I was probably the most aroused at the suggestion. Having danced with Riley at the club and resisting the urge to fuck him right there in front of everyone, I was eager to have that chance, regardless of location or audience. Edward felt the excitement rise in me and squeezed my hand, assuring me it was okay to feel it, to want it even though it wasn't him. Like I said, Riley and I were a packaged deal no matter our partners. Edward didn't need to ask what I wanted, he knew exactly what my response would be.

"I think that sounds fucking hot," Edward replied authoritatively, his boardroom voice sneaking through.

I thought Riley might come at the approval alone, but he held back, instead shifting in the seat, relieving his growing pressure with the palm of his hand. Before we could go over particulars, the limo rolled to a stop and the driver was at the door, opening it for us. None of us wasted any time getting out of the car, Peter grabbing his suit jacket at the last second before closing the door and joining us all in the foyer. Riley practically ran to the elevator, pressing the button many times before Peter calmly grabbed his wrist and pulled him to him, pressing Riley's back to his chest to contain him. Again, he lowered his lips to Riley's ear, his words soft, but firm and Riley visibly calmed.

The doors opened and Riley leapt onto the elevator, dragging Peter with him. Holding Edward's hand, I stepped inside and turned to face the door. Our blurry reflections stared back at us, almost as if they knew exactly what we were on our way to do. Riley's energy vibrated off the paneled walls, bouncing around us like a contained lightning bolt, feeding us all until we were shaking as much as he was. It was Peter who brought us back under control, his dominating manner somehow taming the energy Riley projected onto us, and by the time the doors opened at our floor, we all stepped off calmly. Edward led the way to our apartment door, unlocking it with a steady hand. Pushing it open, he held it for us to enter and we were immediately greeted the clicking of claws on the floor as Toto raced to meet us, her tail wagging wildly. Edward bent over and patted her head before shooing her to her small bed.

Ignoring the dog, Riley was already lifting the hem of his shirt, pulling it swiftly over his head and dropping it to the floor. The three of us groaned in unison at the sight of his bare back. Surveying the room, and the possible furniture and locations in it, he turned around, hands on hips.

"Piano? I've always wanted to fuck on one since I knew what fucking was," he said with chuckle. Before I could question it, he continued with the suggestions. "Sofa? Dining table? We know that saw some action once already today." He grinned, his eyes lighting up and widening. "Balcony? Might as well give everyone a show."

"If it's okay with them, I think the bedroom would be the most comfortable for us all," Peter said. "It would allow for the best…views."

"Not nearly as fun as the balcony, but the bedroom works," Riley shrugged.

"Anyplace works for you, Rile," I laughed. "Edward?"

"Bedroom," he agreed, "I want to see everything."

Riley held out his hand, his entire body already inviting. It was something he automatically fell into, a habit I was sure he wasn't completely aware of. Perhaps it was part survival, perhaps part instinct, but whatever it was, he drew people in with the innate ability.

"Shall we?" he asked, a brow raised, challenging us all to follow through with him. He had no doubt I would be the first to reach for his hand, but there was a wonder if Peter or Edward might stop us before we continued. I was sure they wouldn't.

I was right.

Stepping forward, I took Riley's hand and let him lead me to the bedroom, Edward and Peter close behind. I expected a certain amount of awkwardness, but the air felt empty of everything except the exhilaration of what, or who, was to come. Inside the bedroom, I released Riley's hand and turned to Edward. Drawing him to me, I kissed him, thoroughly, deeply, to remind him that no matter what he was about to witness, he was to who I belonged. His hands groped my ass through my jeans as Riley's hands were eagerly on my waist, pulling me from Edward's embrace and into his. With Riley behind me, I faced Edward as Riley's hands lifted my shirt up my torso, coaxing my arms up so he could pull it off. Once it floated to the floor, his hands moved to my jeans, deftly undoing on them before stepping back and undoing his own. There was one last long glance to Edward before I broke it and turned to face Riley.

"Fuck," I murmured. He was even hotter than he had been in the club. "You like?" he smirked, holding his arms out.

Speechless, I could only muster a low growl. Long gone was the skin and bones I was used to. They had been replaced by sinewy muscles, bunched and roping around his compact frame. His body had filled out in all the right places, his arms now covered with a lean strength, a formally sunken abdomen was now defined with rows of muscles. From the dancing, I knew his new body moved as fluidly and flexible as ever, and I was more than eager to feel just how tight he still was. His recently tanned skin already glistened with a sheen of sweat in the dimly lit bedroom. Then there were the pierced nipples, two shiny hoops dangling from pebbled brown buds.

The instant our eyes met, the room spun. There was no pretense of seduction as we tore the remainder of our clothes off, toeing out of boots, jeans, and briefs faster than ever before. Letting go of my stare, his eyes freely roamed my body, pausing at all his favorite parts, including the scar on my hip. Completely erect, his dick twitched and his breaths grew shallow. Turning, he glanced at Edward and Peter, still standing near and still dressed. Approaching Peter, Riley ran a finger down his neck to the open V of his button down.

"You're in for the show of your life, cowboy," he promised with a wink before stepping over to Edward.

I watched breathlessly as he kissed my lover, his tongue tracing Edward's lips before retreating. Edward's body went limp, loose as Riley broke the kiss and moved to the bed. Naked and hard, we stood on opposite sides, the air crackling between us, the simmering undercurrent having already igniting into an inferno before we'd even touched.

We lunged at each other. The mattress sank as our bodies collided in the middle, gravitating to each other like magnets after too much time and distance apart. The arousal from dancing still soured through us, our bodies remembering the unbreakable bond, the pleasure we'd brought each other many times. Our lips met in a vicious kiss, tongues plunging into each other's mouths, swirling and exploring. It'd had only been hours since our last kiss, not months like earlier, but with Riley, the intensity never wavered. It wasn't just him or me, it was both of us together, our bodies were held hostage to our shared chemistry and it exploded each time we touched. We were temporarily lost in each other those first few moments while our bodies reunited. As we kissed, our mouths meshed together, our hands glided expertly over searing flesh, kneading muscles, gripping arms, tugging harshly on hair. On our knees, our bodies were pressed together, not one millimeter of space between us as our cocks, captured between us, liberally seeped precum, the slick friction causing a brief gasps into our kisses. Riley's heart pounded as loudly and fiercely as my own, thundering and echoing in the room barely drowned out by the chorus of moans.

Though neither of us were sure who was making them.

Even with our eyes closed, even with our hands clawing at each other, we were both knew we weren't alone, we were acutely aware of who was watching, we could hear them, smell them, sense their presence prowling around us. In the past, we would perform, put on a show, and while we enjoyed it more often than not, we were unable to let completely go when we were watched. It was too risky. But with Edward and Peter, there would be no holding back.

Opening my eyes, my gaze landed directly on Edward. No longer standing at the end of the bed, he'd moved to the large arm chair in the corner, slouched against the back, his bare feet planted on the ground, knees falling open. His shirt was gone, his jeans unbutton but not unzipped. Even in the dark shadows I could make out the outline of his erection through the heavy material. Under my attention, while my lips ravished another, he shifted in the chair, a familiar ache growing in his groin. There had been no discussion about what we were going to do, no rules or limitations expressed, and while Edward was all for public fucking, the one watching with him wasn't exactly a stranger. When Edward's hand discreetly snuck under the flap of his jeans, my eyes fluttered closed, my mind easily filling in what I could no longer see.

I didn't need to look at Peter to know where he was, standing against the doorjamb of the closet, his tall frame and broad shoulders taking up the entire space. I knew his long legs were crossed at the ankles, that there were a few more buttons undone on his shirt, that his cock was hard and throbbing. While I could sense Edward in my heart, the pull telling me exactly where he was and what he was doing, I felt Peter just about everywhere else, and my body responded accordingly.

Tearing my mouth from Riley's, I fisted his hair, growling in frustration at its shorter length, and yanked his head back, exposing his throat to my teeth. I nipped and bit my way over his jaw, the barely there stubble scratching my chin before I moved down the cords of his neck, finally settling on his Adam's apple, sucking it into my mouth. The vibration of his moan tickled my lips as he arched his back and offered himself to me. The position put space between us, his supple body bending back and my mouth quickly finding a pierced nipple. Wrapping one arm around his waist to support him, I feasted on him, flicking my tongue around the outside of the nipple before sticking it in the hoop and pulling. He cried out, his blunt nails digging into my shoulders, giving me the satisfaction I sought. Moving a hand to my hair, he simultaneously straightened and pushed my head further down his body to where he wanted to feel my mouth the most.

Riley never hesitated to ask for what he wanted.

"Suck my dick, whore," he demanded.

Groaning at his command, I left open mouth kisses along his abs until the reddened head of his cock was pressing against my lips. With a firm hand on the back of my head, he thrust up and into my mouth, immediately crying out as his dick entered the wet heat of my throat.

"Mmm, fucking whore gives good head," he mumbled, his hand tightening in my hair as his hips bucked steadily, the head of his cock repeatedly tapping the back of my throat as he fucked my mouth.

It was a compliment of the best kind, to know I drove him to the edge so fast it frustrated him. I hadn't given head to Riley, or anyone besides Edward, in months, but I hadn't forgotten Riley's feral taste and intoxicating scent, and with one last hard thrust, his taste grew stronger, filling my mouth, coating my tongue and flowing down my throat as I milked him for every last drop. Riley's body shuddered, his grunts loud as he held my head to him until he was drained and slipped from my mouth. I wasted no time, straightening and slashing my mouth over his, edging his jaw open and sharing his essence. Once again, we were pressed together from knees to lips, and even though remnants of his orgasm were still flowing through him, I felt his cock growing between us.

Riley was the definition of insatiable.

Greedily wanting to fuck him, I took my mouth from his and moved to his ear, wanting him to hear the words and feel my breaths. "Do you think they're ready?"

"Nobody is ever ready for me," he answered honestly.

I moaned in agreement, my hands on Riley's ass, squeezing, teasing. "How do you want us?" The question was directed both Edward and Peter, but it was Peter who spoke first.

"All fours so we can see both of you," he directed in a raspy voice.

Without hesitating, Riley turned around, displaying his perfectly round ass and the contours of his back to me. Raising my arm, I spanked him open-handed, leaving behind a pink imprint on his pale skin. Trembling, he dropped to his elbows, his head hanging as he presented his ass for another. The smack of my hand against his flesh resounded in the room and I heard Peter's throaty moan. Riley might have only fucked Peter once, but I had no doubt he knew exactly what Peter liked. It was part of his talent, both ours really, for reading people.

Lifting his head, Riley turned to Peter. "You can look all you want, old man, but touching will cost ya," he said with a wink.

Kneeling between Riley's calves, I kept on hand on him, massaging the stinging red marks while I leaned back for the bottle of lube on the nightstand. I caught Edward's movement in the corner, his jeans now unzipped, his hand leisurely stroking himself through his briefs. If he was that excited from just watching us kiss, he was going to explode when we started fucking. Smirking, I dripped some lube onto my fingers, using them to spread it around Riley's puckered and waiting hole. Biting down hard on my bottom lip to fight the overwhelming urge to slam my dick inside him, I skipped the teasing and slipped my middle finger into him. Instantly, his back arched and a whimper escaped him.

"So fucking responsive," I muttered under my breath. "Been awhile?"

"Way too fucking long," he growled, pushing his ass toward me in a silent plea. Inserting a second finger, I twisted them, sliding them to his chorus of moans and "It's about fucking time."

I stilled my hand, letting Riley take over, his body rocking back and forth as he shamelessly fucked my fingers. Tiny beads of sweat gathered on the dip of his spine, his head hung low, breaths gasping as he continued to move. I glanced at Peter, his eyes trained on where my fingers met Riley. In the chair, Edward's eyes were half closed, his tongue running along his lips as his hand began to pump faster.

Lifting his head and looking at me over his shoulder, Riley begged impatiently, "Just fuck me already."

Even if I wanted to wait, even if I wanted to continue tease him, I gave in the second I saw the raw need in his eyes. It was beyond fueling the burning that anchored us, it was an urgency only I could fill.

"Mmm, you always were my eager slut," I chuckled as I removed my fingers and reached for a condom.

Ripping the package open, I rolled the condom onto my cock and slathered on more lube. There was no need to ask if he was ready, if any us were ready. We'd been ready all night. Spreading his ass with my hands, I didn't look at Edward or Peter, but only at Riley as I pressed the ridged head of my cock to his entrance. Pushing forward, I steadily slid inside him, pausing at the resistant muscle out of habit with Edward. But it wasn't Edward I was fucking.

It was Riley.

With a loud, carnal moan, Riley pushed himself back, his ass quickly stretching and swallowing my dick, taking in all of me. Falling forward, I braced my hands on either side of his shoulders and put my thighs on top of his, lifting myself over him and providing an unobstructed view of both our asses, balls, and my dick sliding in and out of him. He angled his head around searching for a kiss and I gave him one, my pumps coming to a stop as I laid on him, sinking completely him and grinding as we kissed. The mattress bounced with our motion and I pinned Riley down with my elbows on his arms. Each slam into him earned me a louder sound, his body attempting to writhe under my weight. When I got too close, when the tightness of his ass around me was too much, I quickly returned to my knees, lifting him onto all fours with me.

His skin was flushed as he rose onto his hands, bracing himself for what he knew was to come. After withdrawing slowly, I gripped his hips and began to pump at a measured pace. Bruising fingers, sure to leave their mark behind long after we came, held his hips securely to mine as his cock slapped his toned abs with each kniefing thrust. Wrapping an arm around his waist and the other under his chest, I curled myself over his back, kissing along the nape of his neck where the sweaty ends of his hair clumped. Each time my dick entered him, I felt a rush of ecstasy, heating me from the inside out, more than a stirring, it was a fucking tornado in my abdomen.

"You like it when I fuck you hard?" I whispered into his flesh.

"So fucking good," he said breathlessly.

Feeling his body relax, I placed another kiss on his neck and straightened.

That was when I saw Edward.

Enthralled, he watched us, but there were glances toward Peter. Peter hadn't moved, giving off the appearance his composure was still in place, but I knew otherwise. His mind was whirling, his cock aching, his head racing, his palms sweaty by the scene in front of him. Unlike Peter, Edward wasn't as cool, he couldn't contain how aroused he was. He just needed to permission to let it out. Our eyes met, his glassy green ones filled with more desire than I'd ever witnessed in them.

Much to Riley's complaints, I slowed even more, turning my focus briefly to Edward. "Undress," I instructed. He immediately glanced at Peter, but I reassured him. "Just do it, baby."

Apparently seeing Edward naked was enough to beckon Peter's attention, because for the first time since we'd entered the room, Peter's eyes left me and Riley and settled on Edward. With flushed cheeks, Edward lifted his hips and eased his jeans and briefs over his ass and down his legs before kicking them off the rest of the way. I grabbed the lube from the mattress and tossed it to him. Shyly, he drizzled some on his erection before wrapping his fingers around himself, the wet sound of his stroking filling the air. At the unconstrained freedom to touch himself, his head dropped back against the chair, his hips rising to fuck his fist. His other hand went to his balls, tugging on them, enticing a loud groan. He desperately tried to keep his eyes open but they fell closed. Then a finger drifted behind his sac and circled his hole.

Even Peter reacted with a sharp breath.

I knew from experience one of his favorite things was to watch me finger myself, usually siting on his desk while he sat in his chair jerking off.

"That's it, baby, fuck your fingers," I encouraged.

All eyes were on Edward, we collectively breathed when he did, we could practically feel his orgasm approaching. Holding Riley's shoulder for leverage, I sped up until I was again slamming into him hard and fast. He took it willingly and begged for more. Staring at Edward, I waited until his ab muscles tightened before I spoke again.

"C'mere, baby," I called to him.

Snapping his eyes open, he pulled his fingers from himself and stood. After a glance to Peter, he tentatively walked over to the edge of the bed in front of Riley.

"Do you like what you see?" I asked and he nodded. Letting go of Riley's shoulder, I fisted his hair and jerked his head back. My slut loved it, his body quivering at the aggressiveness.

"Come on his face," Peter quietly directed from his place against the wall.

Edward came undone at the hungry look in Riley's eyes, at the way his mouth was open and ready. Two strokes later and Edward's cum painted Riley's face in milky ropes, landing on his cheeks, mouth and chin. Edward's body reflexively convulsed, his head lolling back despite his effort to keep his eyes on Riley. Peter groaned from his position in the doorway, his careful control slipping from his grasp. Edward continued to pump himself until there was nothing left, his body sated. He lifted his head, looking down at his handy work before leaning over and lapping Riley's face clean, his tongue swirling along the slopes of Riley's cheek and chin before diving into his mouth. Riley returned the kiss with fervor, his body quieting while he and Edward kissed.

I was going to come.

Needing to delay it, I sat back on my calves, bringing Riley with me and resting him on my thighs, his kiss with Edward broken. Peter's strode over, his darkened eyes intent, like a hunter in search of its prey. His shirt was now completely unbuttoned, his chest rising quickly with his shallow breaths, his cock straining against his jeans. Still lost in his bliss, Edward didn't notice Peter's close proximity until Peter pressed his chest to Edward's back, his large hand on Edward's throat, turning his head to capture him in a kiss. I watched as Edward's lips parted and his tongue willingly followed Peter's into his mouth while Peter's other hand wrapped around Edward's semi-hard cock and began to pump it. I listened as Edward moaned into the kiss and reached back to grope Peter's jean clad thigh. I groaned as Peter manipulated and played Edward's body until he was trembling and leaning completely on Peter for support.

If I hadn't already been on the verge of coming, I would have been then.

It was one of the hottest things I'd ever seen.

Breaking the kiss, Peter continued to stroke Edward with a loose fist, and as he kissed down Edward's neck and shoulder, his lust filled eyes fell on Riley. "Tell me how it feels," Peter said in rough voice.

"Fucking amazing," Riley replied, his head falling back onto my shoulder, turning toward me. "Full."

"Fuck," Peter mumbled.

"He's so tight," I whispered right before my lips found Riley's.

The gesture, one we'd performed often, wasn't a simple kiss. There was a certain possessiveness conveyed in the way my tongue languidly met his. Whether it was directed at Peter or Edward or the rest of the world, I wasn't sure, but the connection with _my_ whore surged through me, through both of us. Sitting on the bed I shared with my boyfriend, in an apartment worth millions with my dick buried deep inside Riley's tight ass, we were transported to another time and place.

The expensive linens and soft mattress morphed into a dirty, rotten floor, the wooden walls became brick, the warm room became cold and full of cobwebs. Even the lovers we had been extremely aware of, Peter's heavy breaths and Edward's gasps, faded away. The hard thrusts from earlier became an erotic circling of his hips on mine. Riley claimed he was all about the hard fucking, but he liked the deliberate stuff just as much. His arm wound around my neck as he twisted himself as much as possible to maintain the kiss at the awkward angle. Breathing heavily, I broke the kiss and moved my lips along his jaw and down his neck.

"Your hair," I sighed as I nuzzled him.

"It'll grow back," he whispered, his fingers burrowing into my own curls.

There was no more direction from Peter, it was just me and my whore, our history, our questionable future. I sucked the tender skin of his neck into my mouth, tasting and marking him, I inhaled his scent, still one of the streets, of alleys and sidewalks. Running a hand down his sleek side, I stilled his hips. I was too close to coming and I didn't want it to end, I didn't want it to be the last time I felt him like that. Riley's arm tightened around my neck, his lips kissed my hair.

"It won't be," he promised quietly.

Nodding against him, I loosened my hold on him and he began to move again, his body caressing me, working me. It was intimate, it was like every time before combined into one. His body might have changed, but his soul hadn't, he was still a rebel, still a flirt, still mine. I savored every breath, every touch, every roll of his hips and kiss of his lips. Dark lashes framed his mischievous brown eyes as he toyed with the ends of my hair.

"Always yours," he reminded me.

"Always yours," I repeated.

It had been something we'd said once, it had been silly and stupidly romantic, but at the time, after a long night of being passed around, we had needed it. It had grounded us.

Gradually, the brick walls crumbled, the hard floor became luxuriously soft, and a warmth filled the room. A shiver of awareness went through us both.

We weren't alone.

Riley turned his head to face our lovers, not with a look of apology, but with a knowing smirk. Edward was hard again, Peter's hand still stroking him, his lips now wandering along Edward's shoulders. When Riley's eyes met Peter's, Peter shifted Edward to his side, but never released him, and leaned down to Riley. Their kiss was frantic and gratifying, Peter's moan loud when he tasted Edward's cum still lingering on Riley.

Surrounding him, I felt his body tense. He screwed his eyes shut and shook violently when his second orgasm wrenched through him. Resting my head on his shoulder, I stilled, unable to move while his ass clenched around me. Riley's grunts reverberated through him, his body trembling as his cock shot onto himself and the bed, pulsing until empty. Peter straightened, pulling Edward in front of him again, his mouth finding Edward's to share his own taste. No longer able to hold off, I grabbed Riley's hips with both hands, lifting him enough for me to thrust deeply into him, lacking any and all rhythm.

The coil that had been wound so tightly inside me sprang and the fire spread low in my abdomen. My arms tightened around Riley, my teeth sank into his shoulder, muffling my strangled grunts as I came inside him, bucking until exhausted. Sated, I collapsed sideways onto the bed, bringing Riley with me. At the last second, he reached out and snagged Edward's hand, pulling him and Peter onto the bed with us. Peter's jeans were abrasive against our bare legs as he climbed over us until Edward and Riley were tucked between us facing each other, their breaths mingling in the space between them as they shared a few light kisses. We were a mess of sweaty, tangled limbs.

"This really _is_ where the magic happens," Riley chuckled breathlessly.

Still inside Riley, I spooned him, my tongue licking along the nape of his neck in my post orgasmic haze. Forcing my eyes open, I found Peter staring ravenously at me over Edward's shoulder while his leg was possessively draped over Edward's, his thumb stroking Edward's hipbone like he'd been doing it for years. He was the only one who hadn't gotten off yet, his control was beyond anything I ever had. I trembled at what he might have in mind, but it was Riley who was ready first.

Snuggled against Edward's chest, Riley ran a finger down Edward's neck and giggled. "How about round two, Beautiful?"

"**~~**"

Thanks for reading~

Don't worry, Jasper and Edward are still very much a couple.

Chase the Storm is available in ebook and paperback formats. If you enjoyed M&A or WN, I hope you give CtS a chance.


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